An Attitude for Gratitude

Ever had one of those “Oh no, what am I doing?” moments? Candice and Clare share stories from turbulent plane rides, parenting chaos, and life’s unexpected twists, and show how even the freak-outs can teach us gratitude, perspective, and the value of family. 

Shownotes(clickable links)

Elder Uchtdorf: Grateful in Any Circumstances

Pres. Nelson airplane story

Memoir by Jeremy Renner: My Next Breath

Transcript

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This podcast episode may contain brief quotes from external sources, used in a positive and respectful manner for discussion, education, and commentary. These references fall under fair use as they are not used for commercial gain, do not replace the original works, and are presented with proper context and attribution.

The views and opinions expressed in this episode are our own and those of our guests. They do not necessarily reflect the official doctrine, beliefs, or positions of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Transcript

Clare: Welcome to Sisters with Latter-day Voices. I'm Clare.

Candice: And I'm Candice. And today we're going to talk about having an attitude of gratitude.

Clare: Or—

Candice: I keep—

Clare: Just an attitude.

Candice: Or just an attitude if you're talking to my children. No, they're sweet sometimes. Okay, so we're going to talk about gratitude today—having an attitude of gratitude. I keep coming across this message, so I think maybe it's something I need to internalize. Before I share a little story, I feel like I need to give some backstory. I'm a stay-at-home mom. You might already know this. I chose this, and I am very happy with this choice. But every once in a while, if I'm being totally honest, I have a brief, minor freak-out moment in my mind when I think, “Oh no, what am I doing? My friends are working. I should have been working by now. I should have a 401k of my own. What am I doing with my life? I’m so far behind other people my age.” It’s all in my mind, but then after a day or two, I come out of it and remember why I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom and why I like it. I love it. I remember why I chose this, and then I’m fine.

But I had one of those moments. A couple of days later, I went on a trip with my daughters. We went to meet up with the rest of our family, and I don’t fly a lot. I’ve flown before, but not much. We went on a short commercial flight, and for some reason I was just a little nervous about flying that day. Then the pilot said there was a storm passing through and we’d need to wait, which just made me more nervous. I tend to catastrophize sometimes.

It was a Sunday, so I decided to read something churchy while I was waiting, and I ended up reading a conference talk by Elder Uchtdorf about gratitude—how even when we go through difficult trials, we can still have an attitude of gratitude. He talked about how, through his time of Church service, he’s met many people going through really difficult challenges, and how it may seem strange, but having an attitude of gratitude even during those challenges will help us.

He also said sometimes when we think about what we can be grateful for, tallying up blessings isn’t the best way to do it. Because what if, in that moment, you don’t feel like you have many blessings? All you can see might be the bad things. But you can still, even in those dark times, have appreciation for the big picture and for all the good God has done for you.

Clare: Yeah.

Candice: Usually when I hear about people being positive while going through really hard things, I don’t quite understand it. I think, “I don’t know how they handle that.” But side note—I also think you don’t know what you can handle until you have to. It’s easy to look at someone else’s trial and think, “I could never do that.” But then when you face a trial yourself, you realize, “Oh, I was strong enough to handle that. I’m okay.”

Back to the story on the plane. We took off and the ride was turbulent. I started thinking, “What if this is it?” Because, again, I can be dramatic. Then I thought, “Oh no, what if reading that talk was just a little gift from God before this plane crashes? I’m going to die, so I should just be thankful before the plane goes down.”

Clare: Have you listened to that talk by the Prophet, where he tells the story about when he was on an airplane and a lady was freaking out next to him?

Candice: No, what happened?

Clare: I think it was the Prophet. He was on a plane, and the engine caught fire or something crazy happened. A passenger next to him was losing it, and he was really calm. He thought, “I’ll be okay if I die, because I’ve done everything I needed to.” And I was just thinking, would I be that freak-out lady, or would I be calm?

Candice: Well, I was freaking out on the inside. On the outside, I was cool because I was with just my girls. One of my daughters looked scared by the turbulence, and her sister was holding her hand. I smiled calmly at them, like “It’s going to be fine,” while panicking internally. At least I wasn’t scaring other passengers.

Clare: What to do if I die?

Candice: I literally sent a text saying, “I love you.”

Clare: It’s been real.

Candice: It’s been fun. Peace out. But anyway, while smiling at my kids, I thought, “Oh no, this might be the end.” So I started thinking about the things stressing me out recently—money, not accomplishing enough. But then I had this really calm moment and thought, “Oh my goodness, if this plane did go down, I’m so thankful for the great moments I’ve had with my children.”

Clare: Yeah.

Candice: I felt so grateful for my relationship with my children. It was kind of a gift that I had that freak-out, because when the plane landed, I thought, “This is the right choice for me. I love my kids. I’m thankful for this time with them.” It helped me feel better about being a stay-at-home mom.

And let me just say, I’m not saying staying home is the right choice for everyone. Most of my friends are working moms and they are fantastic people with great relationships with their kids. For me, it was just a reaffirming experience.

Clare: What?

Candice: I know—news to you, right? But that moment on the plane helped me appreciate my blessings. After that, I tried harder to have an attitude of gratitude, not just deciding a day was good or bad based on little things.

Also, on that trip, I read a book my mom gave me: My Next Breath by Jeremy Renner (the actor from The Avengers). It’s about his snowplow accident. The picture of the snowplow alone is insane—it’s a miracle he survived.

Clare: Yes.

Candice: He writes about the accident, his recovery, and how grateful he is for his family and friends. Funny side note—he said while drugged up he kept seeing Jamie Foxx and having conversations with him, even though Jamie Foxx was never there. But he said he was thankful Jamie Foxx got him through it!

In the end, Renner said from now on all his work decisions would revolve around family time. He realized life is fragile and what mattered most was his loved ones.

Clare: Yeah.

Candice: Reading that was comforting for me. I don’t do well with blood and I’d be a terrible nurse, but his story made me reflect on my own priorities. It reminded me to focus on eternal perspective—what matters most long-term, not just short-term stresses.

Clare: Yeah.

Candice: Right now, raising my children is my main goal. That’ll evolve as they grow, but for now, remembering that helps me let go of smaller worries.

Clare: Yeah, I think that’s super important, especially with busy schedules. It’s not that we’re doing bad things, but it’s about what you’re filling your bucket with—that analogy where you put in the rocks first. Are you filling your bucket with the most important things first—your family, Jesus, scriptures, church—or with the sand first, like Instagram? It’s not that those things are bad, but if you fill up with sand, there’s no room left for the rocks.

Sometimes life gives us jolting moments—turbulence, accidents, whatever—that remind us to refocus.

Candice: It was nice doubling up on that message. I read Uchtdorf’s talk and then saw the same idea from a Hollywood star who, by the world’s standards, has it all. And both came to the same conclusion: what matters most is family and relationships.

Clare: Family.

Candice: And I wish I could say after reading and experiencing all this that I’m thankful all the time, but I’m still working on it.

Clare: It is so hard.

Candice: It’s hard not to get lost in the short term. I’ll end with some words of wisdom from the Prophet. From his book The Heart of the Matter, he says:
“During my ten decades of living, I have concluded that counting our blessings is far better than recounting our problems.”

Clare: I love that. I want to be able to say that with my ten decades of living. I want to live a long life.

Candice: I was thinking today, “Man, I’m almost forty. Am I halfway done, or past halfway done? I don’t even know.”

Clare: No, because we need to grow old together.

Candice: That’s right—we’re going to help each other not be crazy when we’re old.

Clare: Yes.

Candice: We can’t be Karens.

Clare: Nope.

Candice: All right, that’s all we’ve got today. We hope you know God loves you. Bye.

Clare: Have a great week. See ya.