From Seminary to Real Life: Guiding Youth to Christ with @seminary.strong

In this week’s episode, we sit down with @seminary.strong to talk about building testimonies, helping teens navigate faith in a noisy world, and why small, consistent spiritual habits matter most. Join us as we share laughs, honest struggles, and practical ways parents and leaders can support today’s youth.

transcript 

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Transcript

Clare: Welcome to Sisters with Latter-day Voices. I'm Clare.

Candice: And I'm Candice. And today we have an amazing guest! Just for a little intro—he holds the Montana State record for the log lift, which was over 300 pounds. He makes entertaining, encouraging, and uplifting videos for his seminary students and his 20,000-plus followers on his Instagram account, Seminary Strong — that’s Seminary.strong.

He did the Ice Bucket Challenge by letting his entire seminary class pour cold water on him at the same time. He’s musically gifted, made the best Book of Mormon recap video ever to “We Didn’t Start the Fire.” He’s the king of weightlifting metaphors, a powerlifter and a power teacher. He’s a husband, a father, a friend, and an all-around good guy. So Brother Tony, thank you so much for being nice enough to be a guest on here!

Tony: It is a pleasure to be here. And now, like, I have to update my résumé. Whatever paragraph you wrote down—just send it over.

Tony: I want to steal that. Thank you.

Candice: That’s your intro from now on!

Tony: Well, thank you very much. I really am excited to be on this.

Candice: Awesome. Well, you’re very nice, because I know you’re busy. Since you’re a seminary teacher, we’re going to talk about the challenges facing youth today—and the strengths of youth today. But before we get into that, we thought it’d be fun to ask you just a couple of “get to know you” questions. Okay?

Clare: Sounds good. What is your favorite movie and favorite show?

Tony: Oh goodness. Okay, this is going to be a tricky one—and there’s going to be some recency bias on this. I recently talked to my class about the movie The Arrival.

The reason this came up is we were talking about learning languages, going on a mission, or really just learning about different cultures. I mean, for anybody who’s grown up in Utah and served a mission in the hills of West Virginia—it might be the same language, but definitely a different culture.

So if you haven’t seen The Arrival—well, it’s been out for quite a while, and it was Academy Award–nominated. So if I’m going to spoil something for you, I apologize—but come on, it’s been out!

Anyway, there’s an alien race that comes to Earth, and they’re trying to teach some of the main characters their language. And their language is special in that it kind of gives you the ability to see time in “one eternal round,” if I’m going to paraphrase Joseph Smith here.

It just had some very unique overlaps with my own journey in language learning, and there were enormous gospel overtones for a movie that wasn’t a gospel film at all. So that one is definitely way up there. It’s not action-packed—it’s much more of a thinker movie—but yeah, The Arrival is definitely up there.

Candice: That is crazy that you say that—before you even say your show—because earlier today I was listening to a podcast called The Book Pile, and they were talking about that movie.

Tony: Oh really?

Candice: And I was thinking, “Oh, I’ve got to watch that movie!” because I haven’t seen it. But they were saying positive things, and they were talking about the book that the movie was based on.

Tony: Mhm. I highly recommend it. Do be warned—there’s some foul language in it, but overall, aside from that, it’s a family-friendly movie. So, you know, be warned.

Candice: Hard to avoid that. Okay, favorite TV show?

Tony: Well, you know, college football just started, so College GameDay is easily eating up my Saturday mornings. But probably the TV show that I find I can watch with my kids over and over again—and still love it every time—is Avatar: The Last Airbender.

Clare: Oh, that’s amazing!

Tony: It’s just the best. I think that might be one of the most well-written shows of all time—let alone the best cartoon of all time. For those who haven’t watched it, it’s entertaining just on its own because it’s a cartoon, but it’s also deeply philosophical. Again, lots of gospel overtones. Highly, highly recommend.

Clare: All right, this is totally side-tracking, but my daughter was like, “Mom and Dad, you need to watch K-Pop Demon Hunters.” And we watched it—and I loved it—but my husband was like, “Oh my gosh, this reminds me of The Last Airbender!” He said it kind of had the same anime style or humor. He liked it a lot.

Tony: Somebody will have to fact-check me on this, but I know the studio that animated Avatar was a Korean studio.

Clare: Oh, okay.

Tony: And so K-Pop Demon Hunters, being very Korean-influenced, I’m sure their animation studio was also Korean. That probably helps explain the overlap there.

Clare: Oh, nice!

Candice: Okay, so another “get to know you” question—what is your favorite indulgent food? And since you’re a weightlifter, what’s your favorite healthy meal or food to eat?

Tony: Oh, it’s funny because we just posted that video on the Word of Wisdom.

Candice: Yeah.

Clare: I’ve watched that so many times—I love it!

Tony: Oh, thank you! So yeah, I’m going to dime myself out here—there are few things that turn me into a little kid like Oreos and a glass of milk. You’ll see me stuffing my face with the Double Stuf ones, and I have to use those now because I swear we’re enduring shrinkflation with Oreo products. Regular Oreos are so thin—you’ve got to get the Double Stuf just to get what we used to have!

As far as healthy food goes, when I’m really drilling down and focusing on competition nutrition, I try to eat one gram of protein per pound of body weight—which for me is over 200 grams of protein a day. That’s difficult! So we do a lot of chicken here—lots of chicken and rice variations.

My wife discovered this Italian crockpot chicken and rice recipe—you put a little cream cheese in it, and it becomes like a chunky chicken gravy that goes over the rice. It hits all my macros and definitely satisfies the hunger itch. Maybe not the healthiest because of the cream cheese, but when you’re gearing up for a big competition, I’m burning well over—not Michael Phelps levels—but definitely over 2,000 calories per day.

Candice: Yeah, right.

Clare: Sweet.

Candice: Okay, we can move on to the serious questions, but last one—do you have to ease yourself into having that much protein, or do you just go full-out and start eating it?

Tony: You know, when I was younger, it was easier. But now that I’m getting older and my body’s like, “Hey, you’re starting to need to retire here,” I just can’t pack it away like I used to. Being a young man, it was like having a fusion reactor in your gut—whatever you threw in there just turned into energy. It was wonderful. It doesn’t do that anymore.

So no, I definitely have to ease into it. At the end of the day, I’ll be like, “Oh geez, I’m 50 grams short,” and now I’ve got to get creative because I just don’t want to eat anything. Sometimes it’s downing powdered protein—which you don’t want to do too much of; there are some risks with that. I’ve also discovered you can only eat so much Greek yogurt in a day before it stops tasting good. So yeah—it’s a challenge.

Candice: All right, well—that’s impressive. Since you’re a seminary teacher, how long have you been teaching?

Tony: I’m starting my third year now. And just for the listening audience—since I’d guess a lot of you are from Utah—I’m an early morning seminary teacher. I’m not a CES release-time teacher. So we get to do the grind early before school.

Clare: That’s impressive!

Candice: Commitment! As a teacher, do you have any kind of mission statement for yourself—or something you come back to when you’re frustrated or feel like you’re not connecting?

Candice: Is there anything you have for yourself?
Tony: Oh, man. Um, not one that I’ve formalized, but one that I’ve talked about—with myself, with other seminary teachers, and with the students—is that most of the job, in any job that you do or any workout or school, whatever it is, is to show up. Show up and be present. That’s like, I don’t know, eighty or sometimes ninety percent of it right there. That helps on days where not every lesson is great. Sometimes I get to the end of a lesson and think, “Oh, geez, did I get anything through to them? Was I really as prepared as I should’ve been?”

It helps me refocus and remind myself, “Okay, that day’s done. Tomorrow’s another day. We’re going to do better.” But it also allows me to forgive myself, because at the end of the day, I was there for them. They saw that I was there. We’re both—it’s early, we all got up early, showed up early, wiping sleep out of our eyes—but we’re there. And I think that’s very important.

In a lot of church callings, I think it’s like that. Youth callings are hard. You wonder, “Are we getting through to the kids?” You’ll never really know, but you’ll absolutely not do it if you just don’t show up.

Clare: Yeah.
Tony: I’ll have to formalize that into some sort of concise mission statement. I like that idea.
Clare: Yeah, no, I think that’s great. Well, we’ll dive into some of the real questions, I guess.
Tony: For sure.
Clare: So we’ll start out with the challenges that youth are facing today. From your perspective, what are some of the biggest challenges they’re facing right now, and the differences between now and past generations—like what parents faced?
Tony: Yeah. If I could summarize it in two words: sensory overload. That has to do with our mobile devices and the constant bombardment of information coming from all angles—and the feeling of having to be perfect at everything you do. It’s like your sports team has to be awesome, and if you’re not enrolled in your AP classes, you’re failing at life.

Meanwhile, your phone is blowing up from seven or eight different chat groups all communicating at once. And that’s certainly something that, you know, as my kids like to refer to someone born in the late nineteen hundreds, I didn’t have to deal with as a teenager. I think that’s very difficult for kids who are just starting to get a sense of themselves, to understand what the world is and how it works.

And if you just look at what’s being shown online, it’s a very bleak image. There’s a lot of fear, a lot of concern—it just seems like there’s evil all around you. And I think that leaves them questioning, “What am I supposed to do with this life I’ve been given when everything feels so awful? And at the same time, I have to have a 4.0 GPA on top of that?” It’s just really unfair.

Clare: Mhm.
Tony: Yeah, I think that sensory overload they’re getting constantly is probably the biggest challenge they face.
Candice: I think also with social media—it’s not very honest.
Tony: Oh, not at all.
Candice: And they’re so young. Even as an adult, I know not everything online is real, but even as an adult, if I scroll for a bit, I can still feel those feelings of, “Oh, I need more,” or start feeling covetous or inadequate. And it’s so hard, I think, at a young age to filter that out and remind yourself, “Okay, this is just somebody posting their best moments. This isn’t reality.”
Tony: No, you’re absolutely right there. Oh gosh, I’m probably going to get the title wrong—The Anxious Generation, I think that’s what the book is called?
Candice: Yeah.
Tony: It’s an excellent read—highly recommend it. It’s interesting to see the data, especially between boys and girls, on how social media affects them. Seeing all these perfect images of how people should look, all these young and beautiful people doing amazing things and always appearing happy—it makes them question themselves: “Why am I not happy like that person?”

You’re right—social media shows that alternate reality that’s just not real. But it makes our kids sad because they think it is real, and they see it all the time. It’s hard on them.
Candice: My oldest just started high school this year, and she has a phone, but she’s not allowed to do social media yet. I’m just like, we’re not even opening that can of worms yet. It’s hard enough just having a phone—it can be addictive all on its own because you have so much at your fingertips that it can be such a distraction.
Tony: Absolutely.
Candice: Do you think there are any smart rules for phones for teenagers that would be wise for parents to set?
Tony: Yeah, smart rules for sure—and I’ll be a big hypocrite here. My kids will listen to this and say, “Dad, I think I remember hearing that rule once, but you’re not very good at enforcing it.”

There really needs to be a focus on disconnection. How that looks can vary, but every family needs to find a way to truly disconnect—adults included. I’m bad at it too. Sometimes when I finish a seminary lesson or get home from work, I’ll think, “Oh, I’ll just scroll for a bit,” or maybe start working on a video. But there needs to be family time that’s separate from devices—time to look at each other, talk to each other, eat meals together.

And I think it should extend beyond just dinnertime—put the phones away and keep them away for several hours if you can. Again, leave it up to each family to decide what that looks like, but yeah—literally, go outside and touch the grass together. It’ll be helpful.
 Candice: Yeah.
Tony: As far as other rules, I think it’s very smart to keep younger teenagers off social media. I think The Anxious Generation said sixteen is probably a reasonable age—but again, moms and dads, you set that benchmark yourselves. I agree with that. We’ve kept our kids off social media. My oldest son, who’s on a mission now, didn’t get Instagram until shortly before he left—and then he couldn’t even use it once he left.

Candice: I started reading The Anxious Generation, and I think it’s really interesting. I’m about forty percent through it right now. It’s good information, but it’s also scary as a parent to see those statistics. There’s no way it’s a coincidence that all these problems with mental health have risen alongside the rise of social media and phones.
Tony: Not at all.
Clare: Yeah.
Tony: And the only other thing I’ll say is that no amount of rules or time limits can replace parents just being invested and interested in their kids. That has to be the foundation. Because you can disconnect from your devices and still just sit there in silence or not engage in anything together. There still has to be that investment from the parents’ side.

And even if your teenagers roll their eyes at you—let them. It’s fine. They’ll love you in the end. Just keep after it.
 Clare: Yeah. In our family, we call it “forced family fun.”
Tony: Yeah, there you go.
Clare: Even if there’s eye-rolling, it’s still fun.
Tony: Oh my gosh, yeah—that brings me back to my military days. We called those “mandatory fun days.”
Candice: It always cracks me up—it’s time for some F’n FF! Like, “Okay, Mom, coming.”
Tony: Oh, I love that! I’m borrowing that one from now on.
Candice: All right. The first big challenge that comes to mind is phones and social media—but are there other challenges you see? I think that’s the main one we’re all concerned about, but is there anything else?
Tony: Yeah, I think it all ties together, and it’s more about the bleak outlook of the world. I think I already touched on this, but I’ll see surveys pop up every now and then saying young people are this much less likely to own a home within ten years after high school, or that their purchasing power is dropping, or that World War III is always trending.

I really think that weighs on their souls. I have to rewind to my own memories—I was born in the early eighties, and I remember thinking the Russians were going to nuke us at any point. Just having that latent fear as an eight-year-old, thinking, “Oh my gosh, this is going to happen to us.” And, you know, we got through it.

So I have to remember that a lot of what the kids are feeling—the chaos and fear about the world—probably isn’t what’s actually going to happen. I think we get that reminder often from President Nelson, who encourages us to have a positive and proactive outlook about the world. I’m very excited for conference, on that note.
 Candice: I’m always excited for conference. That’s good advice. I also feel like kids are so busy these days. It’s hard for them to ever be bored. I remember being bored all the time, like, “I don’t know what to do.” Whereas now, it’s almost the opposite—kids are too scheduled or too busy, and they need time to just go outside, like you said, touch the grass, and be calm.
Tony: Mhm. And that’s another one where I don’t really know the solution. I see it with my own kids—it’s like, “Oh, we’ve got band practice right after school,” then they’ve got to prepare a talk, then there’s a youth activity that night. And I’m not knocking what the Church is doing—those social interactions are absolutely crucial—but yeah, we’re just so dang busy with extracurriculars.

I don’t have a great solution for that. My kids are very busy. So I’d love to hear advice on that one.
Candice: Well, I don’t have any of the answers either. I’m just trying to get your wisdom from you.
Tony: Sorry, I know that’s not a great soundbite, but—
Candice: No, it’s fine. It’s honest—which is better than preachy.  So what about the strengths of the youth today? What positive qualities do you see in the rising generation you teach?

Tony: I really do feel—it’s weird because, again, if you read the news, you see all these headlines like “church attendance is dwindling” across America. And not just our church—faith globally seems to be declining. But I honestly see the opposite, at least in my little corner of church life. Even among the kids who might seem like they’re sleeping through seminary, when I see them in action, they really do have faith. They’re showing tremendous faith in the face of all the chaos, busyness, and anti-church messaging that’s everywhere in the media. I think that’s their greatest strength right now—faith and perseverance. They’re going to get through it. I think they’re going to be just fine.

Candice: I do think that too. We grew up in Boise—

Tony: Mhm.

Candice: —and I feel like our high school was about twenty percent LDS. I know you didn’t grow up in an area with a ton of members, right?

Tony: No, I was in Ohio, which is funny. You know, in Idaho or Utah, where the Church is heavily populated, you’ll have several stakes within one high school. But in my area, it was the opposite—I had several high schools in my stake. That was my reality.

Candice: Yeah, in Boise it’s different. People sometimes confuse it with Rexburg, but there really aren’t as many members here. There’s a good amount, but it’s not like Utah or Rexburg. So in our high school, about twenty percent were members—just enough for everyone to know who the members were. I got a lot of questions in high school, and it didn’t make me question my faith; it strengthened it. I thought, okay, well, I have to defend this. I have to understand what I believe and why. And maybe that’s a good thing—like you were saying—because today’s youth see it all around them. It forces them to understand their own testimonies better.

Tony: Yeah, exactly. And going back to phones, that just gives people more ammunition to antagonize. For me, back in the day, I’d show up on Monday and one of my friends would say, “Hey, in church yesterday, we learned all about you Mormons.” And I’d say, “That’s funny, because in church yesterday we learned all about Jesus.” I don’t know what you guys are doing, but I know what I’m learning!

But yeah, they’d come up with things like, “I read this fact about Joseph Smith,” and I’d think, Okay, I’ve never heard that before. And they’d say, “Why is your church hiding things from you?” Like, no—we’re not hiding anything. I’m just a kid; I can’t know everything! Even as a forty-year-old man who’s been in the Church my whole life, there are parts of our history I still haven’t read yet. I can’t know everything. But I think these kids do a great job navigating that and understanding that it’s okay not to know everything. They can lean on their faith and testimony until they get the answers they’re looking for.

Candice: Yeah, that’s good advice. Do you think there’s anything that’s most beneficial for teens to focus on as they build their faith and confidence?

Tony: Experience—either experiences they’ve already had or ones they still need to have. I tell my kids this all the time: if you’re not sure the Book of Mormon is true, that’s fine. Everyone has to go through that. Don’t feel like you’re lacking because you’re questioning. Go and give yourself that experience.

That’s usually where I bring in my weightlifting metaphors. I’ll ask, “How much can you bench?” and they’ll tell me a number. I’ll say, “That’s garbage—I can get you a hundred pounds higher than that if you train right.” A testimony is the same way—it’s a muscle that has to be exercised through experience.

If you want to gain a testimony of Christlike service—go do some Christlike service. You’ll gain that testimony through doing, not just thinking about it.

Candice: I think it’s perfect that you’re a seminary teacher because I love your weightlifting metaphors. You’re a great example of taking your literal strengths—something you do—and using them to teach others. Like, “Okay, this is what I know; how can I use it to teach gospel principles?” It’s such a great metaphor in so many ways. I love your weightlifting videos!

Tony: I appreciate that, and I encourage other teachers of any kind—parents, youth leaders—to do the same. Everything is a teaching opportunity. I like the gym, and the gym is a great microcosm for the gospel—dealing with adversity, growth, and consistency. But a mechanic could make those same metaphors! You could liken the plan of salvation to the life of a car—built in the factory, out in the real world, needing maintenance. I’m not a gearhead, but I love seeing people use what they know to inspire others. Even kids who don’t go to the gym appreciate the metaphors—they help illustrate gospel truths.

Clare: I think they do, for sure! When I told my two boys in high school that we were interviewing you, I said, “Guess who we’re talking to—it’s Seminary Strong!” I showed them your videos and said, “He’s a weightlifter,” and they were like, “Okay, all right, that’s cool.” Then they started watching your stuff. It’s such a fun gateway to get kids interested, whatever their thing is—sports, cars, whatever. I love that you’re using your strengths and gifts to uplift others.

Tony: I appreciate that. Thank you.

Candice: Do you have any other advice for youth, or should we move on to the next question?

Tony: Hey, youth—ninety percent of success is just showing up. One of the discouraging things about social media is that it makes it look like other people have it all without working for it. That’s never true unless it’s completely staged—or they’re genetically gifted! Most success, especially in the gym, comes from small, consistent victories.

Most days I walk into the gym and think, I don’t want to do this today. But once I get warmed up, I can get through it. So just show up. Do the first rep. Say that prayer. Read that scripture. Do the first thing—and it adds up over time. Those little victories build something huge. Do it for seminary, church, school, sports—just show up and do the reps.

Clare: Yeah, they really need to do the reps. But sometimes I feel like, at least with my kids or the youth around me, they get so overwhelmed. They’ll say, “I haven’t read the whole Book of Mormon yet,” or “I haven’t done all of this.” And I’ll say, “Okay, but what have you done? You go to the temple every week.” Start with a verse a day—baby steps. Just show up and keep going.

Tony: Yep. And not every day has to be perfect. It’s okay to have bad days. In fact, those bad days can be healthy—they teach you something about yourself and how to overcome challenges. So even after a lousy day, just show up again.

Candice: Yeah, that’s such a great point. Not every day will be amazing.

Clare: Exactly.

Candice: And it goes back to comparison, too. It’s so easy to look at someone else and think, “They’re so strong” or “They have it all together.” But someone once said that when we call someone an “overnight success,” it’s only overnight to us—because we just found out about their success. It wasn’t overnight to them; they’ve been working for years. I think kids need to focus on what they’re good at and not worry about keeping up with anyone else.

Tony: Yeah, that’s the hardest part, especially in the teenage world. And kids roll their eyes at the clichés like, “It gets better when you’re older,” or “High school isn’t forever.” But to them, high school is forever—it’s their whole world right now.

Candice: Yeah, it’s such a big deal to them.

Tony: It is.

Clare: All right, let’s move on to support from outside leaders. How can parents best support their teenagers today? Or how can they get that support from their community and other leaders?

Tony: We hear the phrase a lot—“meet them where they are.” One of the main reasons my Instagram account started was because some of my first-year seminary students had sports in the mornings and couldn’t make it to class. I told them, “That’s fine, I’ll make some gym videos connected to the lesson content.” And it kind of took off!

It became a space where they already were—on social media—and I figured, since there’s so much junk out there, I could give them a clean, uplifting corner of LDS content.

But it’s not just about cyberspace. For youth leaders and parents, it means a lot when you literally show up. I remember how meaningful it was when a bishop or leader came to one of my sporting events or band concerts. It made me feel supported. Those small gestures go a long way. So I’d encourage leaders to do that—go to their events, see what they’re doing, and show that you care. It means so much.

Clare: That’s a really good reminder—just to show the love and support.

Tony: Mhm.

Clare: Especially because you also don’t know how much some students or members are getting from their own families. You don’t always know what’s going on in those situations.

Tony: Right.

Clare: So outside support definitely helps.

Tony: Right. Yeah, like you said, sometimes you might be the only adult figure in their life. And at that point, it really does mean a lot to them to have you physically present at things they care about.

Candice: I’m in Primary right now, and there’s this super cute young married couple who teach. They look like the perfect couple—I would’ve assumed they both came from cookie-cutter families. But the husband got up one Sunday to give a talk, and he shared how his family completely unraveled when he was a youth. His parents got into some addictions and really went downhill.

Tony: Oh.

Candice: He talked about how important church was to him—how he felt love there, how he knew who he was when he came to church. The leaders in his life made a huge difference. I just thought, My goodness, I’m so glad he had that experience. Because we really don’t know what people are going through. Especially the hard things—those aren’t the ones people talk about. We know as adults that we don’t always see others’ struggles, but it’s even harder for kids to sort through those challenges. It was such a good reminder for me—just show up and be supportive.

Candice : You never know. And especially with teenagers—they don’t give you a lot back emotionally. It’s tough. You have to remember it’s about them, not about you. You kind of have to have thick skin. Just show them love and support, even if they’re not showing that they appreciate it.

Tony : Mhm.

Candice : It’s just so important that they feel loved.

Tony : That—that’s it right there. Yeah. Like you’re saying, don’t take the “teenager-isms” personally. It’s not you—it’s circumstances. It’s not necessarily them either. It’s just… life.

Candice : Yeah. Our dad is actually an early-morning seminary teacher as well.

Tony: Oh, awesome.

Candice: Yeah! He’s always trying to think of games because he says, “If we do something active, they’ll be more engaged and not fall asleep.” So he’s always trying to come up with a game. He’ll run it by us—

Tony: Yep.

Candice: “Do you think this will be good?”

Tony: Yep. Get them moving. Get their brains and limbs stimulated. That definitely helps. And then, you know, throw in some sugar at the end. I’ll get all preachy about Word of Wisdom stuff—but hey, here’s a donut at the end of class!

Candice: You know what? It works! My daughter has released-time seminary, and they had “Taco Tuesday.” They said, “If you bring a friend who doesn’t go to seminary, you’ll both get a giant cookie.” And it worked—she brought a nonmember friend, and they both got cookies.

Tony: That’s beautiful.

Clare: Hey—bribery works!

Tony: I’m all about that kind of incentivizing.

Candice: One more note—I like to focus on the positive, but this story always sticks with me. Our older brother had a friend whose parents divorced when they were kids. He was having a tough time as a teenager, but he showed up to early-morning seminary every day. He didn’t have the best attitude, but he was there. One day, the teacher got frustrated and said something like, “Why are you always so sour-faced and grumpy? Why are you even here?”

Candice: It embarrassed him, and after that, he stopped going to church for years. Thankfully, he’s doing great now—he’s actually in a stake presidency in Ohio—but it’s still sad that that happened. You really have to have thick skin when working with teenagers. Don’t make it about you. They’re struggling. Just show up and love them.

Tony: Mhm.

Candice: I don’t know.

Tony: No, that’s really hard. Especially as adults—and as men—we feel like we have to be the disciplinarians. We think we’re going to be inspiring like drill sergeants. But we forget—drill sergeants are inspiring because if you don’t do what they say, you get kicked out of the army! It’s different with youth. You’ve got to take things on the chin sometimes.

And I’m guilty of it too—coming down hard when softer words, or even just empathy, would’ve gone a lot further. I’m not criticizing that seminary teacher—I get it. I’ve been there. You just want to say, “Fix yourself! Stop dragging my lesson down!” But little did he know—that class might’ve been that kid’s safe haven. That’s a hard situation.

So yeah, word to the wise—especially to us men out there who want to “discipline hard.” Remember: although the Savior did build a whip and chase people out of the temple, He did that once, in a very specific circumstance. Maybe we can try using softer, more Christlike tones instead of pulling out the whip right away.

Candice: Yeah, I think it’s funny when people jump straight to that scripture, because it really is the only one.

Tony: It’s the only one.

Candice: It’s the only time He got angry! He clearly taught with love. That’s the goal. I’m not saying I always do that—but that’s the goal.

Tony: Mhm. Yep. If somebody’s actively defiling your sacred house—okay, sure, maybe righteous anger fits. But otherwise, Christ taught with patience, love, and understanding. With an inviting spirit. We’re supposed to bring the sick to the Physician, not kick them out of the hospital.

Candice: Yeah, that’s so true. And kind of on that note about judgment—because as adults working with teens, we have to not worry if they’re judging us. How can youth also learn to love others without judging them?

Tony: Oh, yeah. I’ve found that in most circumstances, if I can do even a little bit of service for someone—or experience a slice of what they’re living—it builds empathy. Seeing their circumstances, working with them, listening to their music, eating their food, learning their dances—it shows you that this person is way more like you than you thought.

You can’t do that in every case. It’s hard to feel empathy when you see someone on the street dealing with mental illness or addiction. And in high school, it’s the same—there are so many social stereotypes: the jock, the prep, the “druggie.” We’re quick to judge. But the best way around that is to try to understand where they’re coming from.

And if they don’t give that understanding back—that’s fine. Don’t worry about it. You do it for you. You gain empathy. Don’t expect it to be reciprocated.

Candice: You can’t control other people. I always tell my kids—you can’t control what others do, but you can control yourself. Life won’t always be fair. Things will happen, but you can always control how you respond.

Tony: Mhm.

Candice: That’s always within your control.

Tony: And even as adults, controlling our reactions is hard. I’ll tell myself, “I’m not going to get mad in traffic today,” and then I do—jumping to conclusions about the person driving ten under the speed limit in front of me. That never happens in Utah, right?

Candice : Oh, never.

Tony: Mhm.

Candice: Never get road rage—just ask my kids!

Tony: Yeah. For the kids, being nonjudgmental is an exercise—something you have to remind yourself about daily. And like any exercise plan, you can’t quit just because you had a bad day or forgot to do it. You just think, “Okay, I messed up today. I still have a goal. I’ll do better tomorrow.”

Candice: I have to remind myself of that too. There are things I’ve learned as an adult that I forget my kids are still figuring out. Like one of my daughters—I won’t say which—when we watch Hamilton or a movie and someone does something wrong, she’ll say, “That person is the worst!” She’ll completely hate that character. And I’ll have to say, “Okay, but what else did they do? Nobody is all evil.”

Candice: They tried to do some good things, and I just have to remind myself to have those conversations — to talk about things that aren’t always obvious at a young age. I think empathy needs to be discussed, just like anything else.

Tony: No, you’re absolutely right. I love bringing this up — especially when we study the Book of Mormon — because, hey, we all like to compare ourselves to Nephi. But in reality, you’re probably a little more like Laman and Lemuel. So maybe let’s chill out on the judgment a bit.

Tony: The murmuring, the complaining — that’s probably more accurate for most of us.

Candice: Yeah. Do you have any advice to inspire teens to seek out their own testimonies instead of relying on others?

Tony: Yeah. Kind of like I mentioned earlier — if you’re around peers or adults and you think, “Wow, they have such strong testimonies of the Book of Mormon, but I don’t,” then you have to ask yourself, “Okay, what am I doing to get that experience?”

Because you’re right — you won’t have a strong testimony until you actually do something to build it. With the Book of Mormon, you’ve got to read it. You can’t just not read it and then pray to know if it’s true and expect this big revelation. It doesn’t work that way.

It’s the same with ministering or magnifying your calling. You’ll gain a testimony of these gospel principles by actually doing them — giving them time and effort. Experience builds testimony.

Clare: Yeah, they need to show their action by doing it.

Tony: Mhm.

Candice: I think sometimes things feel like such a big deal to teens. I mean, even as an adult, I get strong emotions sometimes, and I have to ask myself, “Have I been reading my scriptures every day like I should?” If I haven’t, everything feels heavier.

Maybe I just need to check in more with my teens — especially when they’re emotional. I’ve got four girls and no boys, and emotions can run high. So maybe just checking in: “Have you been doing the small things?” It’s not the only answer, but when you’re consistent with those things, life’s problems become so much more manageable.

Tony: Yeah. You’re absolutely right. It’s the accumulation of little victories — doing the small, simple things. They don’t have to be perfect; consistency over time builds success.

And I think those parental check-ins are perfect. We kind of see a model for that in the Church. Like with ministering, you’re supposed to check in and ask, “How are you doing? How’s your family?” I get that with my local institute director — he calls monthly to ask how the students are doing, what struggles or successes I’ve seen.

I think that same idea works at home. Even if your kids roll their eyes and say, “I’m fine, Mom. I’m fine, Dad,” the fact that you’re checking in means something to them. It shows them you care, and I think that inspires them more than you realize.

Candice: That’s great advice — and a good reminder. Sometimes I get so busy, I forget to check in. Like, “Have I talked with this child lately? Have I asked the important questions?” It’s easy to get caught up in the chaos of life.

Clare: And I think those check-ins don’t have to be super serious either. Sometimes parents get too formal — like sitting them down in an office with the Book of Mormon open saying, “What do you want to tell me, child?” [laughs]

You can do it in a fun way — while watching a BYU game or riding bikes. Make it feel natural so they’re more open to talk.

Candice: Yeah, if I can bring things up naturally like that, the conversation goes so much better.

Tony: One hundred percent agree.

Clare: So, what gives you the most hope about this generation of youth?

Tony: They really do show tremendous faith. I love teaching them. I even love picking up their Gen Z slang — and making them feel super awkward when I try to use it. [laughs]

Today’s youth are just as interested and invested in doing good as my generation was. I don’t see a big drop-off in faith or commitment. I really believe they’re the future leaders President Nelson keeps referring to. I’m excited to see what they’ll do as adults.

Candice: Nice.

Clare: I feel like they’re crushing it! They’re doing a great job — and they have such fun leaders like you.

Tony: [laughs] I’m just trying to keep up with them! Mostly, I’m just trying to keep them awake.

Candice: Okay, we can cut this out if you want, but I have one selfish question.

Tony: Sure.

Candice: How do you balance social media? I honestly don’t like getting on it, but for the podcast I feel like I have to — to post more, engage more… but I don’t want to get sucked in.

Tony: Oh gosh. I probably need my wife here to answer that honestly. [laughs] Fortunately for me, she’s visiting her sister right now, so she can’t call me out until she hears this.

But really, that’s something I struggle with — finding the right balance. To be successful online, you kind of need to know what’s trending, what’s “in,” what’s the vibe on social media. So yeah, I scroll a lot — LDS content, fun videos, even the general silliness out there. I check what music’s trending or what slang I can throw in to make my students cringe.

Setting timers helps. I use screen time limits on my phone — like ten minutes of Instagram a day. Sometimes I think, “I’m a grown man, I don’t have to listen to this,” and hit “ignore.” But I really do need to get better at sticking to it.

Candice: [laughs] Yeah. How much do you pay attention to comments?

Tony: Ooh, that’s a tough one. I’ve tried to follow President Nelson’s counsel — to be more inviting on social media. I don’t usually respond to negative comments. I keep my replies to positive ones short too.

It’s not that I’m trying to be distant — it’s just that responding to everything can consume you. And we take it so personally, like, “They said something bad about the Church, and if I don’t defend it right now, my testimony must be weak.” That’s just not true.

You’ve got to protect your mental health. You can’t engage every comment.

That said, I’ve had some really positive experiences when I’ve chosen to engage critics in a kind, inviting way. I say “forcefully inviting” because my natural instinct is to come in hot — but when I force myself to respond kindly, it often leads to a great outcome.

Candice: That’s impressive. When you said you don’t respond to negative people, I thought, “That’s perfect — you can’t reason with them.”

Tony: Just let it go. It’s okay.

Candice: Yeah, I just don’t want to focus on negativity. Life’s too busy already — we’ve got kids, work, everything else. I’d rather focus on the positive people.

Tony: Yep. And really, if we’re honest, the comment section isn’t where conversion happens anyway. So just leave the door open with kindness, and move on.

Clare: Yeah, not going to work otherwise.

Candice: Exactly.

Clare: Well, thank you so much for talking to us. You’re awesome.

Candice: Yes, thank you — this was so nice of you.

Tony: I’ve really enjoyed this. I hope you two have enormous success. I’ve listened to several of your past shows — you have a great format. Keep it going.

Candice: Thank you!

Clare: Yes, thank you so much.

Candice: If anyone wants to follow Tony, you can find his videos on Instagram at @seminary.strong.

We’re also on Instagram at @SistersLatterDayVoices — all one word.

Riss, do you want to end with a quote?

Clare: Sure! This is from President Nelson:

“With the Holy Ghost as your companion, you can see right through the celebrity culture that has smitten our society. You can be smarter than previous generations have been. And if you are sometimes called ‘weird,’ wear that distinction as a badge of honor, and be happy that your light is shining brightly in this ever-darkening world.”

Thanks for listening.

Candice: We hope you know God loves you. Bye!