Anchored: Values, Identity and Choosing Christ

In today’s episode, we explore the idea of values and how they shape our identity, our decisions, and how we experience trials. Drawing from both modern psychology and the gospel of Jesus Christ, we talk about why simply naming values is not enough and why the order we place them in matters.

We discuss how Christ centered values bring clarity, peace, and direction, especially when good things compete, and why identifying ourselves first as children of God changes everything.

Sisters: latter-day voices website

Schwartz Values

Rokeach Values

Bonnie Cordon talk

Proverbs 3: 5-6

Walking on water scripture

Transcript

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 This podcast episode may contain brief quotes from external sources, used in a positive and respectful manner for discussion, education, and commentary. These references fall under fair use as they are not used for commercial gain, do not replace the original works, and are presented with proper context and attribution.

The views and opinions expressed in this episode are our own and those of our guests. They do not necessarily reflect the official doctrine, beliefs, or positions of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Transcript

Clare: Welcome to Sisters Latter-Day Voices. I’m Clare 

Candice: and I’m Candice, and today we are going to be talking about values and identity. I really like when secular knowledge reinforces religious convictions, and learning about core values in psychology did that for me recently. So I’m no expert, but when I was reading on the topic, I found it really interesting.

I first started thinking about values and I thought of the movie Inside Out. If you haven’t seen the movie, it’s about a girl who is going through some big life changes. Her family moves across the country, she’s growing up, making new friends, and the movie focuses on what’s going on inside her brain. It shows that she has these islands that make up her identity. The islands that define who she is are family, hockey, friendship, honesty, and goofball. We’re probably more complex than that, but they simplified it for the movie.

As she’s growing up, those islands are changing and evolving, and it got me thinking about what the foundation of who we are really is, and why it’s important for us to understand it and define it. I think it’s such a cool concept for a movie.

Clare: It really did evolve. The older she got, the more her islands changed.

Candice: Yeah, I liked the second one too. I liked having my kids watch it and maybe understand themselves a little bit better. I thought it was great.

Clare: And how you can’t just hide and shove one of the islands away. You need all of them for a reason. They all work together.

Candice: Yeah, I loved that. And if one of your core values drops out, you’re going to struggle.

I did some research about what core values are in psychology, and I’ll include the articles in the show notes. I made sure they were scholarly articles and not just random blogs. This is what I learned. When we talk about values, we’re talking about what is important to us in life. Values are beliefs infused with feelings, and they differ from person to person. I might have values that differ from Clare’s, even though we’re sisters, had the same upbringing, and share the same religious beliefs.

Values are attached to our goals. The goals we set in life are informed by our values. Values aren’t specific to one action or situation. They’re always there and serve as a standard that guides all of our actions. It’s kind of like a personal mission statement within us.

Because our religious values are so clear, I think this is why when someone turns away from religion, and some of those core pieces of who they are drop out, they often describe feeling lost. Those values that once guided their lives are gone, so of course they feel lost and unsure where to go.

Values also have a hierarchy of importance, and that hierarchy is different for everyone. Even if you have many good values, you’re going to place them in order. One example from an article was that attending church might express and promote tradition and conformity values at the expense of hedonism and stimulation values. The trade-off among competing values guides attitudes and behaviors.

Later I want to talk more about tradition and conformity, but first I want to list core value options according to modern psychology. In 1992, the Schwartz values were introduced. There are ten of them, and these are considered universal. Everyone will have some of these values and place them in a certain order. They are self-direction, hedonism, stimulation, achievement, power, security, conformity, tradition, benevolence, and universalism.

It’s a good idea to look at these and think about what you value most and how you would rank them.

There are also the Rokeach values from the 1970s, and there are a lot more of them. Bear with me, I’m going to read them because I think it’s helpful to hear them out loud. These include fair, honest, sincere, responsible, hardworking, forgiving, open, courageous, helpful, loving, competent, tidy, neat, proper, disciplined, independent, happy, polite, intellectual, obedient, logical, consistent, creative, world peace, family, personal freedom, equality, self-respect, luck, wisdom, national security, salvation, true friendship, achievement, inner harmony.

Clare: Both of those make me think of My Little Pony.

Candice: I know, that’s what I was thinking.

Clare: I’ve got Callie on my mind.

Candice: A comfortable life, love and sexuality, beauty, pleasure, having fun, recognition, status, and an exciting life.

Clare: When I first read through these lists, I honestly felt overwhelmed by how many there were. All of the values sound good, and that’s part of the challenge. Psychology helps us name values, but it doesn’t help us choose between them. That’s for us to decide.

Candice: Exactly. All of these are arguably good things, and everyone is going to differ on what is most important to them. Psychology doesn’t tell us which order is best. For example, I place honesty very high in my hierarchy, and sometimes that can compete with values like kindness and love, which I also believe are important. But for me, honesty comes first.

I’m drawn to people who have no filter and say exactly what they’re thinking. People who might come across as abrasive to others don’t bother me. I don’t want flowery explanations to protect my feelings. I don’t get offended easily, and I love direct communication. If I were working, I’d want direct feedback from my boss with no beating around the bush. Someone who values kindness more might place honesty a little lower, and both approaches are valid. It just comes down to personal hierarchy.

Clare: I think that’s a really good point. We’re all going to differ, even as active members of the church. We can share core beliefs and still emphasize different things. That reminds me of personal revelation. I once went to a women’s conference where a speaker talked about how her friend thought a session was entirely about marriage, only to realize later that it wasn’t. At that time, that was just what she needed to hear.

I think that’s how the Spirit works. It highlights what we need when we need it. Like a patriarchal blessing, some things won’t make sense at one stage of life, but later those same words feel deeply relevant. Our values and priorities change as we grow.

Candice: I also think understanding values helps us better understand the people closest to us, like our spouse and our kids. Love languages help, but understanding values helps even more with communication. For example, people connect with different conference speakers. My husband went to law school and is very analytical, so he loves President Oaks’ talks. I love stories, so I’m drawn to speakers like Elder Holland and Elder Bednar. They all teach truth, but our personalities and values affect how we connect.

Clare: This reminds me of when Darren and I did the love languages test years ago. My results were completely even across the board, and he thought it was so dumb.

Candice: He was like, I don’t know what to do with this.

Clare: I was like, maybe if I was in a different mood it would change.

Candice: Maybe you just needed to eat first.

Clare: Food first, then we can talk.

Candice: Maybe that’s your love language.

So if we understand our values, they can guide our actions. Looking at our religious values as members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, the church doesn’t provide a formal list, but scriptures, conference talks, and proclamations make them clear. These include faith in Jesus Christ, repentance and personal growth, families, service, personal revelation, obedience and covenants, agency and accountability, and modern prophets.

Right now, there’s a big emphasis on personal identity and individuality. Some people think conforming to religion takes away individuality, but it doesn’t. We can share core beliefs and still have different personalities. The church is better because of that diversity. Conformity often has a negative connotation, but why is it bad to share beliefs with others? We naturally seek out people who think similarly to us. That’s how we connect.

Clare: I think society pushes us to be divisive, like we have to be different. But prophets have taught that we are all children of God. President Russell M. Nelson has emphasized that our most important identity is being a child of God. That reframes everything for me. It affects my role as a mother, my struggles, everything. It’s a simple doctrine, but it changes how we see ourselves and handle trials.

Candice: When we truly understand that identity and the plan of salvation, we can feel peace even in difficult situations. When our lives are centered on Jesus Christ, our values reflect that, and trials come into clearer perspective.

Clare: One scripture that fits this is Proverbs 3:5–6, “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding.” I was also reading a talk by Sister Bonnie Cordon from 2017 called Trust in the Lord and Lean Not. She shares a story about a woman named Amy Wright who was battling cancer with a very low survival rate. She was exhausted and struggling, and her husband suggested she serve others.

Instead of focusing inward, she chose to serve, writing encouraging messages and making kits for other patients. Her circumstances didn’t change, but her priorities did. She found strength, joy, and hope by trusting in the Lord.

Candice: I love that example. It reminds me of when the sister missionaries came over and played a game where we had to choose between values written on cards. Every value mattered, but the final card we chose was Jesus Christ, and thankfully they said that was the right answer.

Clare: Phew, you did it.

Candice: All the values mattered, but when Christ comes first, everything good flows from Him. If we’re struggling with identity, putting Christ first helps everything else fall into place.

Clare: That reminds me of Peter walking on water. When he focused on Christ, he was fine. When he focused on the storm, he began to sink. The storm didn’t change, only his focus did. Christ should be the center of our values and our lives.

Candice: Christ should be the center of our lives.

Clare: He is the GOAT.

Candice: Yes.

Clare: My daughter will be like, don’t say that.

Candice: No, we’re keeping that in.

I’ll end with Abraham 3:16. If two things exist and one is above the other, there shall be greater things above them. Therefore, Kolob is the greatest of all the stars which thou hast seen, because it is nearest unto me. We can try to be near unto Him. We hope you’re doing well, we hope you know God loves you, and we’ll see you next time. Well, actually, you’ll just listen to us next time. Bye.