House vs Home, Creating a Christ Centered Home

What really makes a house a home? Is it square footage, decor, and dream features like fountains and secret gardens, or is it something deeper?

In this episode, we talk about the difference between a house and a home and what it means to create a Christ centered home in a very imperfect world. From childhood dream houses to real life routines with kids, we share honest thoughts about consistency, safety, creativity, and inviting the Spirit into our everyday spaces. We talk about the shift to home centered, church supported worship, what we can control when our homes do not feel peaceful, and how even a tent in the wilderness can become a sacred place.

Home is not something you buy. It is something you build. And it starts with love.

Clickable links below

David O McKay quote

Temple

1 Nephi 2:2-4

1 Nephi 17:3, 21

Matthew 8:20

Sisters with Latter-Day Voices website

Transcript

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Transcript

Clare: Welcome to Sisters Latter Day Voices. I'm Candice.

Candice: And I'm Clare.

Clare: Today I was thinking about homes. Do you remember when we were little? We would sit and get all of our supplies out, our paper and our pencils, and we would draw our epic houses for when we were adults. I remember you wanted a fountain in your foyer because of course all houses have a foyer with a fountain. Then you would think of the best ideas, so I would copy you and you would get mad.

Candice: I got so mad. We always laugh about this. I was like, you cannot have a fountain. That was my idea. That is my thing. I am going to have a fountain right in the front door. Honestly, that would be kind of weird, like walking into someone’s house and there is just a fountain right there.

Clare: A grand fountain.

Candice: Oh yeah.

Clare: Still super fun to design.

Candice: Yeah, we would do that in church all the time. I remember doing that drawing at our house too. Plants everywhere.

Clare: Is it bad to admit that I still design my dream house?

Candice: Nope, not at all.

Clare: What would your epic house have if you could have one crazy feature?

Candice: I would want, I mean I do not know how crazy it is, but I would want an art room and a dance room where I could just dance around.

Clare: All right, those are great. I would definitely want an epic yard.

Candice: Yes, you are a gardener. I could see you having that.

Clare: But a waterfall. And I would want it to almost have a secret entrance like The Secret Garden.

Candice: Ooh, nice.

Clare: Who needs secret rooms in their house when they can have a secret garden? Good stuff.

As I was thinking about homes, I was thinking about how in the United States most houses, even though sizes are different, have the basics. We have running water, plumbing, bedrooms, bathrooms, garages. Those are pretty legit basics. But in other countries, homes look completely different. When Darren went on his mission, he said they did not have running water for showers or things like that. And when Colby went to Guatemala this last summer, the homes were definitely not as nice.

So I was thinking, what makes a home? Is it the structure or is it something else? I think there is a difference between a house and a home. What makes a house a home? Things like consistency and safety. It is a place to gather and find peace. Definitely not perfection, but peace. And of course love.

Especially for my youngest, Callie, consistency matters. She loves predictability. She loves the same routine every day. She has her snack and we do certain things in a certain order, and it makes her feel safe.

Candice: In case anybody has not listened before, Callie has Down syndrome, so she especially likes to have her system down.

Clare: Yes, and I think that is important to keep in mind when we think about what makes a home special.

This made me start thinking about how the Church talks about homes. In 2019, when church shifted from three hours to two hours, the theme was home centered, church supported. I like that because it was not just about getting all your spiritual needs met at church. It was church supported, home centered. That means most of this happens in your home. That is where it starts. That is where you come closer to Christ.

Candice: I like the two hours, but it also puts a little pressure on me. Like, oh no, I need to do more at home. It takes responsibility on ourselves to make sure we are thinking about things all week, not just the two hours on Sunday.

Clare: Yes, and I definitely feel like sometimes I am terrible at it. Other times I think, okay, we are doing better. There are ups and downs.

When I was thinking about homes, I thought of Nephi. In chapter two, it talks about how Lehi was commanded to leave Jerusalem. He left his house, his inheritance, his gold and silver, and all his precious things, and then he lived in a tent in the wilderness. That is something we can relate to because Laman and Lemuel complained. They wanted to stay. It is easy to stay where things are comfortable. There are material things that make life easier, and that is okay to admit.

But the cool thing is that even in the wilderness, what made it successful was the Lord’s strength. Most of them tried to stay close together and stay close to the Lord. That is what helped them the most. The material aspect did not matter. It was what they did in the home, even if that home was a tent.

Candice: Can I add a side note? It is still on topic. When we were little, we focused on fountains and cool rooms. Maybe that was not totally what we should have been focusing on. But I have thought about beautifying a home. I was looking on the Church website, and in Moses the Lord gave instructions in the Garden of Eden to dress it and keep it. We are expected to care for and beautify whatever space we occupy.

I am a creative person. I like art and fashion. I do not care about having the nicest things, but I appreciate creativity. You do not have to have a lot of money to beautify something. You can make a space special even if it is a dorm room. Obviously, your actions help keep the Spirit there, but beautifying it matters too.

As a stay at home mom with four kids, I have learned to live on a budget. I used to think I should not care about fashion or makeup because it was not important. But that is where some of my talents are. It is okay to create and make things beautiful without spending a lot.

My daughter has a friend in high school who is not a member of our church. She loves secondhand stores and vintage fashion. She makes the cutest outfits from thrifted pieces. I appreciate that creativity. I have seen people in tiny apartments make them really beautiful. Wanting to beautify your space is not a bad thing. I think that is part of making a house a home.

Clare: That is a great point. Money does not matter. It is not a bad thing to make your house beautiful. I have been in very nice houses where I did not feel safe, like I could not touch anything. That does not feel like home to me.

Candice: That is important because it brings up what invites the Spirit into a home. If you want your home to be sacred, the most sacred place outside the temple, then what can you do to increase that feeling? And what should you avoid?

Even something like cleanliness matters. With four kids, things get messy fast. But I notice when our house is clean, attitudes are better. Everyone feels more peaceful. When your surroundings are chaotic, it is easier to feel chaotic.

Clare: I do not know if my kids notice, but I definitely do.

Candice: I think they play better when it is clean. I have to remind myself that either way I am going to clean it, so I might as well clean it right away.

Clare: Agreed.

When I think of home, I think of Jesus. He did not have a permanent house, but wherever he went, people felt belonging and peace. If you move a lot, it can take time before a place feels like home. At first there are no memories. Then over time you build memories and it becomes special.

So what makes a house a home? Does someone feel safe there? Do they feel known and seen? Is forgiveness practiced? Is love there? Would Christ feel invited there?

Home is not something we buy. It is something we build. And that does not cost money. It costs attention, patience, love, and consistency.

Candice: I read a question from a teenager on the Church website. They said they were the only member in their household, and their family watched inappropriate shows on Sundays and listened to loud music. They did not know how to feel the Spirit.

The advice from other teenagers was to focus on what you can control. You could create a space in your bedroom, listen to gospel music, invite friends, or go out with missionaries. One piece of advice was to lovingly invite your family to do uplifting things with you. Anger and judgment will not change someone. Showing love and inviting them might. Every situation is different, so praying about your specific situation matters.

Clare: I love that idea of invitation. Just recently we were talking about how we are not great at family home evening. One of my kids, Ethan, said we should start again but do it our way. We have a family text thread where we text done after we read our scriptures. It helps with accountability. He also suggested that once a week everyone share something they learned. I love that it was his idea. Leading by example with love makes a difference.

Candice: I love that you let him lead. Especially with teenagers, if it is their idea they are more likely to follow through.

Clare: It has been fun. He even started it with some people from the ward who wanted accountability.

Candice: I love getting texts from Callie. I always know it is her because it is something random.

Clare: Lately she just types random words because of autocorrect.

Candice: That is definitely Callie.

Clare: Back to homes. In the Bible Dictionary under temple, it says a temple is literally a house of the Lord, the most holy of any place of worship on the earth. Only the home can compare with the temple in sacredness.

Candice: I remember hearing that when I got married. Sometimes it motivates me, and sometimes it makes me feel like I am not doing enough.

Clare: I do not think it is meant to bring shame.

Candice: I know, but sometimes it does.

Clare: We will balance each other out.

Candice: Sounds good.

Clare: We will end with a quote from President David O. McKay. He said there is nothing temporary in the home of the latter day Saint. He also said you could have the most beautiful house money can buy, and it still may not be a home. You could have a hut, a tent, even a log cabin, and if the Spirit of Christ is there, if love is there, that is the true home.

Candice: With that, we hope you know God loves you. Bye.