Burn-Break&Become Unstoppable B3u
“Welcome to B3U, the podcast where we will always speak our truths by Burning pains of the past, Breaking the broken mindset and Becoming Unstoppable, reclaim power all while walking into our purpose . I’m Bree and if you’re here today, you or someone you love has likely faced the dark reality of abuse. First, let me say this—you are not broken. You are not defined by what happened to you. You are here, and that means there is hope, strength, and a future waiting for you.
Here we will be diving into the journey of healing. We’ll talk about the aftermath of abuse, how to reclaim your voice, and the steps toward true freedom and find your purpose . Whether you’re just beginning to process your experience or you’re deep into your healing journey, this podcast is for you!
Burn-Break&Become Unstoppable B3u
The Mindset Shift That Saved My Future
What happens when a single mistake threatens to derail your entire future? Lance Williams faced this question head-on after being arrested for selling controlled substances in his early twenties. In this raw and powerful conversation with his big sister and host of B3u Bree Charles, Lance takes us through the life-altering moment when he found himself processing through the county jail system – describing it as a surreal experience that forced him to confront difficult questions about his path forward.
The mental toll of having a criminal record became what Lance now identifies as his greatest challenge. "When you get records, you start reading up on stuff and you can't get a job, you can't get an apartment...is my life over?" This barrier wasn't physical but psychological – what he calls "the biggest disability" – a mindset that limits possibilities without even trying. Yet rather than surrendering to these limitations, Lance chose transformation.
His journey reveals the unexpected paths to success that opened when traditional doors seemed closed. From starting a cleaning business with just a few hundred dollars to building his own successful trucking company, Lance demonstrates how entrepreneurship became his pathway to financial independence and personal redemption. "Having a record is not a death sentence," he insists, though it required greater determination and creativity to overcome.
This conversation goes beyond personal triumph to explore deeper questions about environment versus choice, generational progress, and the power of determination. Lance challenges listeners to question limiting beliefs and societal expectations while offering practical wisdom for anyone facing seemingly insurmountable obstacles. "Everything they said I couldn't do, I've done," he shares, proving that with the right mindset, past mistakes don't have to dictate your future. Listen now to discover how to transform setbacks into stepping stones for success.
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Welcome everybody, welcome back all my listeners and my viewers to V3U. And today we have the opportunity to interview with my brother, my baby brother, lance Williams. Everybody welcome him to the show. So, lance, let's get right into it. What are you doing right now, today? What are you up to? Anisdi?
Speaker 1:Right now I would say that I'm in transition from, let's just say, for the past. You know, let's just go over the past 10 years. So, like for seven years I had my own trucking company, I was driving, but then I started a family, had my first kid and I didn't want to be away I'll answer these in later things but I just didn't want to be away from the family. I transitioned to see what I can do locally outside of trucking that would be able to support my family and give me the work-life balance that I was looking for, and my family wanted it as well. But I did a couple of things We'll get into that later, probably but I did a couple of things as far as different industries and stuff like that, but ultimately I landed right back into a local trucking job, just as an employee this time, which gives me excellent work-life balance. So that's kind of where I'm at right now.
Speaker 2:Okay, awesome, awesome, always doing great things, just awesome. Of course, because he's my brother, y'all know I'm going to say that he's awesome, right, but he really is. So we you know B3U, as we all know we come and we share what trauma or what trial or tribulation we have experienced. So, lance, I'm going to start asking you what is a story that you would love to share in order that somebody can relate to and possibly help them out.
Speaker 1:Absolutely so. Back in around maybe about 2006, 2007, 2008, somewhere around there, I got in trouble for selling uncontrolled substance, or controlled substance, whatever you want to name it as.
Speaker 1:And that's the first time that I've ever gotten in trouble with anything Like. If anybody knew me, I would probably be the last person they would think would do something like that. But in my mind while I was doing that, it's not what you see on TV or anything like that. It's just like I didn't even think you know people standing in the corners with guns and all this other stuff. I'm in my house watching Home Alone 2 or just watching TV or playing video games, just playing with my friends, and if someone called me I'd go out there, make the sale, whatever like that, and then I just, you know, back to my regular life.
Speaker 1:I was just thinking of, you know, just the money aspect of it. It's like, you know, everybody wants to make money. You know, I don't think that's not the right way to do it because there's other ways you can do it. It's slower but it's more rewarding and it's less trouble that way. But you know, I was just thinking about OK, I'm going to just make. This is how I'm just going to make a little bit of extra money, because I've seen people I've known making money, living a certain lifestyle and things like that. I didn't necessarily want to take it to that extreme. I just wanted to have a little bit of money in my pocket.
Speaker 2:That's all your money in your pocket.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm not thinking about how old? Yeah, I'm not thinking about how old were you at this at this time. Oh, that was about almost 20 years ago, so I was probably like the early 20s, like 21, 21.
Speaker 2:So you know that's, that's a relatable thing, because you know most of our young people out here. What was the first thing they want to do? Right, they want to make the quick money yeah, yeah quick money. So that's, that's what it was for you.
Speaker 1:That happened. Like I said, I've never been in trouble before. You ever see one of the movies where I got processed. I got taken to the local county. That whole time. It was kind of like a surreal experience in the sense that you ever see one of the movies where the person is just like they're like frozen or in a trance and everything is moving around them. I was kind of like in that beat just thinking about life in general, like my not my life flashing before my eyes, like I'm about to die. But just you know what did I get myself into? What does this mean? Like I didn't know the severity of you know what just happened.
Speaker 1:Like you know, people can take your away your life for five or 10 years or whatever the case may be, whatever the whatever the sentence is. But luckily I was my first time ever doing anything. And then they just got, you know, probation, uh, community service, things like that. But like I said, that was, it took a huge mental toll on me as a person and just like my confidence level. And you know, when you get records and things like that, you start reading up on stuff and stuff and you can't get a job, you can't get an apartment. You can't get an apartment, you can't do anything. So it's like, like you know, is my life over, so that that just started me making different certain decisions in my life, or just holding back my full potential as a person, because I think like, yeah, I'm going to try this, I'll put all this effort and working to it and in the end I'm just going to get rejected anyway.
Speaker 2:So it's like it kind of stopped me from reaching my full potential at that point. Yeah, were you in like a certain like a depression phase, going through everything?
Speaker 1:uh, I. I wouldn't say, uh, depression like that. I would just say, like you know, I had my moments where I just felt like you know what, you know what am I going to become, and and things like that. Like as far as like uh, you know, you do feel down, so you feel like a depression state, but I wasn't in like a deep day, I didn't feel like I couldn't do anything. I just felt like the person who I wanted to become I. I felt like I couldn't become that because of my records.
Speaker 2:And what was so? What was the time? How long were you? Were you incarcerated for it or you just got charged.
Speaker 1:No, so that day they they processed me, they took me to the County, probably arrived there at three or 4 pm and I was out the next morning and then I just had to show up to court in this probation community service and things like that. So I want to say I spent like maybe 12 hours in the county, but that was about it.
Speaker 2:But it just was like an eye-opener, a life-changer.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because one minute you're able to drive and do whatever you want, go where you want, and then the other minute you're just in a place with people. That is nothing like you, I have to say. I think I'm better than anybody, but just how I grew up where I grew up the person I am even at that anybody. But like just the the, how I grew up where I grew up the person, I am even at that time even doing that stuff. Like I said. I said it's not. I was just.
Speaker 1:I feel like I was just a regular person just trying to make money. I wasn't thinking about what those could do to the people who are taking them or their families or anything like that. I'm just thinking it's just a paycheck for me at the end of the day, but it's just like okay, now in the county people are coming in all drugged out and overdosed and with wild crazy stuff and I'm like, wow, I just wear a helmet right now, what, looking around, that's kind of like I can relate to that, because the military experience I just wanted to get away.
Speaker 2:I wanted to do better for myself, I just wanted to make some good money. And you know, I was like I'm going to the Army, you know, you know, and I was gone in two weeks they told me, hey, we take the test and you can try to do better. And I was like, no, I'm trying to get out of Philly.
Speaker 2:I'm ready to go better. And I was like, no, I'm trying to get out of Philly. I'm ready to go and I hit I ain't never been out of the city of Philadelphia and I get to um, fort Jackson Relaxion Jackson, we call it and I'm like what the hell did I get myself into? Because people are yelling at me. Like why are you yelling at me? You could just tell me to run up the hill. I'll run up the hill, you ain't gotta spit in my face and yell at me and make me do it.
Speaker 2:So I understand totally what you're saying. It was just a moment for you. What I'm hearing you say was, like what the hell is going on, because this is not me, hey, I'm just trying to make a little extra cash. So I I get that.
Speaker 1:I get that totally I get that, yeah, and it was like at that point it was like it was a. That point was a pivotal, I think. Like I said, I was about 22, 23, something like that, but um, that was a pivotal point for me in the sense that after that I was like, wow, this, you know, serious, you know, you kind of take life for granted, you can do this and that, but when something happens like that it's like, wow, they can. You know your life can be taken from you, not in the sense of death, but like you know, you can be in an imprisoned and just, you know, just be in there. And they, you know, everybody has control over what you do, where you go, and X, y and Z.
Speaker 1:But at that moment I was like I have to, I have to do something that that possibly override the sentence or the felony charge that I got. And so at that point, like I started reading a lot like before that time, you know, I graduated, obviously when was high school, 18, up until 23, like I've never opened up a book or anything like that on my own and tried to read it or anything like that. But at that point I just started reading a lot of self-development and then I rolled back and I rolled back in college and I was like I got to get straight A's. So once I graduate, my, my resume and my grades have to be 10 times better than the next candidate for even to be overlooked. So I won't be overlooked just because of this. I have to be 10 times better. So that kind of started me on like a crazy self-development type of journey, kind of which I'm still on today, like I just never stopped, it's never stopped improving.
Speaker 1:Even though my record is expunged now and it publicly is supposed to never be seen by anything, you still have those thoughts in your mind that you know what if they do see it, what if they still can see it, or something like that. So sometimes that you know I have those thoughts when I'm applying for something like that. So sometimes that you know I have those thoughts when I'm applying for something and you know I think anybody listening to this should be, you know, try to understand that. You know don't limit yourself from you know trying to go to the next level just because you may think that you know whoever is looking at you as far as a candidate or anything like that, don't make the decision for them, like, just go through the process and just see what happens. That's all I have to say about that.
Speaker 2:Right, and that's that's pretty. That's pretty cool because this aligns with my topic and kind of what I'm talking about now is how we shrink ourselves. We shrink ourselves to for, for whatever reason, to look good to the next person, or we shrink ourselves before we even give ourselves a chance, you know, to say that. You know this is possible. I do.
Speaker 2:I know someone who, um, has a charge and real minor charges. You know, charge and real minor charges. You know, really really minor, you know. And, um, I was talking to the young lady and I said, hey, you know, she was like, oh, this is going to, it was over. Really, it was like a racist type thing. And because she was protecting herself, uh, the person went and pressed charge and so now it's like, oh, you know, I'm never going to be able to get a job, you know, work from home.
Speaker 2:And I said, well, you know why not? You know, you know these charges are very they're just charges, they're very minute, like, don't give up on yourself. And now don't look, shrink yourself to say, because of what someone else did or what I wasn't thinking, because of what someone else did or what I wasn't thinking, you know, we can always bounce back. We can always bounce back. God gives us many, many, many. He forgives us right. So if God could forgive us, why are we so hard on ourselves? Why do we shrink ourselves to try to match up? And that's a good point that you said For somebody who went through something or is going through something don't give up on yourself and don't shrink yourself to match the size.
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely. And then, yeah, at that point where I said I went on that personal development journey, I went back to college and everything like that. So traditionally I would, or traditionally someone would graduate college, university, with a bachelor's degree and then they would do internships and then they would just try to go work for a corporation or or something like that. But I didn't do that. So because I didn't do that? Because, okay, I don't want to get rejected Nobody likes getting rejected so I didn't even want to apply. This is why I applied to 10 places. Nobody's called me back Like I did. I just graduated for nothing and everything like that. So I didn't want to. I limited my mindset so I didn't do that.
Speaker 1:So what I did was I just started a cleaning business, because you know, if you own something nobody's going to fire, you can't fire yourself. So I just started a cleaning business. I did that for a couple of years. I was still staying at my parents' house. But that's not really what I wanted to do. It's just something that I felt like I can do. It was low cost of entry. You just buy a couple of cleaning supplies, you have transportation and you kind of put yourself out there a little bit. So that's what I did for maybe like three or four years, but again, that's not something I wanted to do. I was just doing it and I was just doing enough, just to, you know, be able to, you know, pay my bills and things like that, cover my expenses.
Speaker 2:I was going to ask you how did that work out for you? How did that? Was it a pretty successful business, a pretty successful business.
Speaker 1:Uh, yeah, I mean it worked out um successful. I mean I didn't scale the business to a a larger amount, like I had. I had a couple, um well, I had a fitness center. I had a couple, uh, medical outpatient offices. Uh, I had an apartment complex. When people move out, I go in and clean it up, like that. But I wasn't really putting myself out there. I did the work initially just to make a certain amount of money until I got comfortable and be able to pay my expenses and everything like that. I didn't try to scale to a point where I could live off of it for the rest of my life. But I was still living at a mom and dad's house at the time and I was getting older and still like, is this, is this what I'm going to do for the rest of my life? So I feel like, even though it's my own business, it's not really what I wanted to do and so I didn't want to do it anymore. So I started working, for I started driving trucks for my brother-in-law, angie Vaughn, angie's ex-husband or late ex-husband, and you know I was like, okay, well, this is what I'm going to do. I'm probably going to move to in Philly, in Philly somewhere, maybe in some suburb or something like that. And then I started doing that. I met some over the road truck drivers who own their own business. Yeah, we make X, y and Z a month. I said, well, let me try that. So that's when I started getting into trucking and did my own trucking business. So If I had not had the felony charge I would have applied for a company and just went straight into corporate or something like that. So, yeah, I mean.
Speaker 1:So when we talk about you know traumas and how they can affect you and things like that, I think of, um, you know disability. A lot of people. When you say disability, a lot of people think, uh, some physical limitation, like they're in a wheelchair or something, or they can't really speak or something along those lines. But I think the biggest disability is is is mental, like limiting your. You never even tried something but you don't believe you can do it and you just the way your mindset is, it stops you from doing a lot and to me that's the biggest disability, no-transcript.
Speaker 1:So you know how does everybody I think everybody gains their you know, like in the military, a lot of like PSTD or PTSD, yeah, ptsd, and they have the trauma and stuff like that. That's real and how we gain our mindset is from our experiences. And so, like if you touch a stove and it's hot, you're not going to touch it again. So whatever experiences you have in life, they kind of teach you okay. Well, I didn't like this.
Speaker 1:So every decision moving forward is going to be based around your experiences. And so, again, ptsd in the military you know all the crazy stuff that everybody goes through in there that kind of shapes the way they view the world and how they react and move. And so because experience, because experiences shape the way you think and make decisions, experience you have to just I think you just have to get into, just have to experience new experiences and things you want to do so that can reshape your mind into, you know, moving in a different direction. And so that's what. That's what I would say.
Speaker 1:Like if you're having trouble thinking you, you know, fit in here or you don't belong here, just try to create experiences in that area in order to, so you can reshape the way your mind works. Like, well, I don't think I belong here, but when I went there, you know them, people welcomed me, they were, you know they was helping me out and things like that, so I do belong here. So now you start making different decisions. So that's like kind of the trauma you can have with. You know, whatever you get yourself into, Right.
Speaker 2:And then life too. We want young people to understand like nobody came into this world and was told you're going to live a perfect life, you're not going to have any experiences. I look at all of our experience experiences, good or bad, like life lessons. That's what they are. Life lesson, like you said, about touching the stove once you touch it you find out it's hot. You don't go that direction again unless you wanted them hard head people.
Speaker 2:you know that can't get right, that just you know. Continue to keep touching the hot stove, like one day you're going to understand, and when you get that third degree burn, like okay, you know, I don't think I want to touch this no more. You know, but life is all about lessons and chances and choices. Ok, we, you had a choice to change your mindset and I kind of look at your experience as a good learning, a real good lesson. Like now you could have just learned that lesson, or went through that experience and didn't learn anything from it, totally gave up on yourself, totally just said, okay, well, you know what, you know, you could have got further in into the drug selling. I mean, you could have did anything yeah but you chose your mindset.
Speaker 2:You know you had that little fear. At one point in time you shrunk yourself. But this is all what I'm talking about changing your mindset. Anybody you know parents could have kept talking to you. Family, sisters and brothers could have kept talking to you. But if you don't have the mindset for change, mindset for change, If you don't have the mindset for choice, then nobody. It doesn't matter what anybody says, and I really commend you for just saying you know what. Okay, I want to start my own business, and that's good for a lot of people who are out here. Of course, we know that people of color are the highest people that are incarcerated, Right, Some who went through similar experiences like you, and then they don't get. They don't have that courage, that motivation to do that. So I love what we're saying when we say like, OK, and you would have been in corporate if you went this way and decide to get. You would have been in corporate if you went this way and decided to get your degree. You would have been in corporate. But instead you took that opportunity and you said you know what? I'm going to try my own cleaning business. Then you went to your own trucking business. So it is possible. You just have to find out what you're good at.
Speaker 2:I hear a lot of people say, well, I don't know what to do. We talk about having a purpose driven life. What is your purpose? Some people don't know, especially not 20 years, and 20 years you didn't know what you wanted to do. You know you didn't know, but you made that choice. What gives you what? What gave you besides self, would you say, was just all you. What gave you that motivation and that empowerment to want better Upbringing? What was it Spiritual?
Speaker 1:I would think it's. I think I would contribute it to environment, because it's not I don't think it's necessarily me. I mean I do have a part individually, but at the same time you can't choose who you're born to. You can't choose. You know your environment you grow up in and things like that. For example, growing up, there was a. There was a kid, his grandfather was a doctor, his dad was a doctor and now he's a doctor. Father was a doctor, his dad was a doctor and now he's a doctor.
Speaker 1:I mean, is that really him or is that just where he was born into? And then, you know, you just kind of follow that lifestyle and those steps. And so I just think that you know, I was lucky enough to be, you know, born to my parents who lived in a certain area where you know almost zero crime and I know I did this in the area but like there is no crime, where you already know what we live, there's absolutely pretty much no crime right there around that area, and so it's just like you know, I grew up in decent school systems and everything like that. So I just I guess it just reverted back to that. I mean that's who I kind of was.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean it was a bad experience. It was a bad mistake, which we all make mistakes. Some people are just fortunate enough to be born into money where they can cover up those mistakes. We didn't have those type of parents that had money that could just make everything go away. So you make mistakes, but the thing about mistakes, the good thing that I would say about mistakes, is that you can learn from them. We should never continue to beat ourselves up over it. Now you and I have two total. We share the same father. We share the same father and we have different mothers.
Speaker 2:But one thing that I will say about us too, and speaking from getting it from our dad, is you know, we did an interview, as you saw, as you all have seen, but our father was always a hustler period. You know, he always wanted to. Whatever he did, he wanted to be the best at it. So I will say, like you said, um, talking about environment, um, like you said, you grew up in a pretty good environment. You had parents that were working parents, knew the value of how to make money. I think we can contribute a little bit of that to say we know who we want to be. We don't know who we want to be, but we know that we want better for ourselves because, that's how we was raised.
Speaker 2:We don't know who we want to be, but we know that we want better for ourselves because that's how we was raised to always here, you know what. Better for yourself. Like. We're going to do it how we have to.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:That will contribute to that. That's, you know, for people who don't have that sort of upbringing. Again, I said we live totally different lives. I lived with my mother and I will say a lot of things. I I wasn't taught, I wasn't taught a lot of things. So for me, I will say, the way that I had to learn was just actually from scratch. My mother, you know, she, she was disabled, so she didn't really work. She was a nurse when I was younger, but I watched my grandparents work hard. I just knew it was always, you know. Then you know you had that daddy, you know, when you see him, it was, he was singing, he was a manager, he was a business owner, he was, and you know I looked up to my parents.
Speaker 2:I always knew I wanted to, you know, watch my mom in the medical field. I knew I wanted to help people watch my dad. I just knew I had some talent somewhere. But you know, it's about your environment somewhat. But it's also when I watch people who don't have literally a parent at all. What do we say to them? People, you know, and then I watch some of them who grow up and some men are misguided. You know, the first thing they say is I didn't have nobody to teach me that. I didn't have nobody to teach me that. So what do we say to these people who say that they didn't have the kind of upbringing maybe we had or the role models that we had? You know, because I look at that as like a handicap. Like you said, disability, I look at that as a handicap just because you didn't have a parent or someone to look up to. What would you say to them? I know what I would say.
Speaker 1:I would just say that, yes, you know, coming from a two-parent household, and the majority of the neighborhood I grew up in it was like two-parent household and the majority of the neighborhood I grew up in it was like two parent household. So, like you know, every friend I had pretty much had two parents their whole life and their parents are still together to this day. And if it was, I have a friend who you know grew up in a one parent household, but that's only because his dad passed away and so yes, your parents, I don't. People shouldn't think of that as a handicap. I didn't have parents, I didn't have anybody X, y and Z.
Speaker 1:But the reality is, yes, you're in the house with your parents, but you're more in the world. Like you know, kids are in school eight, 10 hours, so you're more with outside. You're more with outside influences, more than you are with your parents, your parents. What do you? You know you wake up, you go to school, you're at school all day. You come home, one of the parents still might be working, so you just eat dinner and just run outside and you're playing with your neighbors and stuff like that. So, yes, your parents are there and they serve as a guidance. But for the most part, you're getting your influence from the outside world more than the inside world. So I would just say don't just because you don't have, you know, parents or a guardianship or your parents whoever your guardians are mentoring you and things like that it doesn't mean that you can't become something. You just got to focus. I would say, focus more on the outside influences, because that's who you know. The television, the internet these days the television, the internet the school frames every year.
Speaker 2:All that is going to be more influenced than your parents are. Again, you're hitting it right on the nose because, again, you grew up in a two-parent household. I grew up in a single-parent household. But the streets now I grew up in. I grew up in West Philly Okay, I grew up in West Philly. Okay, I grew up in West Philly and it was either crime, drugs, you know, I I was on the street corner, y'all. I was on the street corner okay.
Speaker 2:I was the kid out there, you know, um, you know, ran away from home at one time because my mother was just, you know, mothering and it was like you know, oh gosh. You know this, you know I want to do. I want to be a little bit more freer. So you know again making mistakes out there on the corners selling drugs, you know what I'm saying but it has to be something with again.
Speaker 2:I could have lived a whole, total, different life, but I just knew that this is not what I want to do. This, this is this, is not it being in the project, standing on corners selling drugs.
Speaker 2:You know, I always knew that I wanted more. So that's what I mean, that I wanted more. So that's what I mean. You know, even though we share the same father, we grew up in two total different. We're both successful people right now. And for me it was a little bit harder because I had to go through a little bit of the hard road, because I didn't you know, I didn't have too much, but I looked at it like, look, this is what I don't want. And I, look, I don't want to grow. I don't want to grow up and be and raise children in poverty level. I want my children to have.
Speaker 2:Reason why I joined the military at you know, at an older age, at 30, I just never gave up on myself. So that's what I would say to young people is never give up on yourself, regardless of your environment. Don't let your environment good or you know, you know well, if it's good, of course you want to take that, but not so successful or good environment. It's all about choice. What do you see yourself? You saw yourself in a different light. So therefore, you ain't got it. You couldn't you. You had doubts about certain things, but you opened other windows, you opened other doors, you opened other mindsets for yourself, and that's what we want to tell our young people to open up different avenues in your mind, because it all starts well. We can say environment, but if your environment is you growing up in the hood, you know, or you know you growing up in a place where, like you've been, yeah.
Speaker 2:You have to. It's all about choice. It's all about choice.
Speaker 1:That's one thing. I would say yeah, and I would say nobody's better than the other, because you know people who grew up in rich neighborhoods they have. They got their drug issues and stuff too.
Speaker 2:But you just don't think it's like that because that's all the houses are nice and the neighborhoods are nice, but some people in there doing all types of stuff and things like that too, all types they just some people are able to hide just a little bit after a while. It shows it shows. But, like you said, no one person is better than the next. It's all about who you are and you have. Sometimes we have to find out who are we, who do we want to be? Would you agree with that? Would you say that?
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, find out who you want to be, like you said, you know, I'm 41 right now and I still don't know exactly who I want to. I mean, you have a whole bunch of interests. Obviously you can't do them all. You don't want to put yourself. Well, I like these 10 things. I'm just only going to do this one thing. So it's kind of hard, and I think that's what's wrong with society. We ask kids at kindergarten first what do you want to be when you grow up? Then how can somebody just pinpoint exactly what they're going to be, even at any age, for that matter?
Speaker 2:What's the answer they always give Doctors?
Speaker 1:police, yeah, stuff like that. And even at my age right now or any age like 20s, 30s you just got to find something you like and, you know, just go in that direction. I don't think you should just kind of make your whole personality, your character, a specific job title anyway, you know it's just. You know society makes you think you don't have your life together if you're not like I am I am a electrician, I am a doctor Like they try to make you say that you're something and just live that type of lifestyle. But no, you are a person who likes multiple things. Just find something that can get you the lifestyle that you want.
Speaker 2:And mastering, mastering. You know, I think, that today's generation is so lazy minded. They relax mind, lazy mind. However you want, want. I'm trying to be nice, but just from what I see, they just want to sit and it should come to me it should fall.
Speaker 2:Our ancestors worked and that's the that's. That's kind of the thing that disappoints me too. Our ancestors worked hard, hard to get some of us where we are today, and some of us just don't want to take that hard work, um, and make things happen and think just a little bit more outside the box. You know, and like me and you which I'm sure you have two beautiful boys, a beautiful wife, and I'm sure that you're bringing your boys up in a different way than what you were raised.
Speaker 2:Like for my children, I know that I'm bringing them up in a different way that I was raised, because now, when my children came into they didn't really. You know, I paved the way, you know, by going into the military. So now they're paid, I would say, my children, they do pretty good for themselves, they have a standard of where they want to live, how they want to raise their children. And then when I look at my grandchildren, it's like, yeah, they're spoiled. They're spoiled, like I refuse, like I just had two grandchildren that ran away from home because their mother was like you know, no, you're not going to have that, you're not going to do that and until you do better, and I'd even say that all the things that I'm creating generational wealth. I will not give you anything just as a handout.
Speaker 2:You know they expect some kids when you, so it's like it has to be a balance when we're raising children.
Speaker 2:You know, because you don't want to. I think Shaquille O'Neal I have read, or it was an interview he said that he wasn't giving his children nothing for free, like they had to earn at least have a degree or something under their belt, and I respect that. I respect that wholeheartedly and, like I was saying, I'm sure that you're raising your boys in a different way or in the same way. How are you raising your boys today? Let me ask that question what do you want your sons to know?
Speaker 1:Well, I just like you know, like I heard that Sha heard that she killed a nail thing as well before, and I think that, um, that's extremely important, because I think I heard some statistics or something along the lines of after the third generation, like all the the generational wealth that was passed down the houses, the money, whatever things like it's gone. So so I think it's more important to pass down a certain standard and a certain like a certain standard of living, so that whoever you know like if Shaq, just if Shaquille O'Neal just passed all his business and all his money to his kids and they didn't, you know, they didn't do anything, like they're just going to spend it up and you know somebody's going to find a way to get all that money from them. Buy this, buy that and this and this and this and that. But for my boy, I'm trying to become the best version of myself, or live a life that I would like live a life, or live a life that you know, my kids I would be happy that my kids became out just like me. So I'm just going to, I'm trying to create the environment for them, a certain standard.
Speaker 1:Wherever you grew up. I think you either want to maintain that or you want to go higher. So I'm trying to create a lifestyle to where my kids okay, well, you know how they grew up, but they want to go above that. So, yeah, just basically just a mindset of you know you got to work hard, you got to sacrifice. I'm trying to get in the right networking circle so that they can.
Speaker 1:That's why this is kind of a little bit off a little bit. But this is kind of why, like, people with money send their kids to private school, not because the education is necessarily better or anything like that, but like who are the? Who are the other kids and their parents? Like business owners, entrepreneurs, doctors, lawyers and stuff like that. So like your kids are growing up with other kids who, who have a different mindset and a different network network. So you just try to give your kids the mindset and a certain standard to live by so that when you're gone that they can. You know, you you want them to live, uh, better than you, you're, you're living.
Speaker 2:Right. And what would you say about? What would you say to your boys about mistakes?
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's, it's okay. I mean, it's okay to make mistakes, obviously, because every I believe everybody, I don't care who you are, from the president to the governor, whoever everybody's always done something that was illegal in some form. Some people get caught, some people don't, or some people do get caught and they have a way to work themselves out of it. I would just say you know it's okay to make mistakes because you're going to make them anyway, but you know, I'm going to try to keep away from the, the harsh mistakes that can, you know, kind of ruin your life. As far as, like the people who do get caught and go to a jail for 10, 15, 20 your life, or something like that. Um, I'm going to try this. Mistakes, let me. Let's clarify mistakes in which way? Like anything in life, or just well, any well, anything in life.
Speaker 2:Well, let's, let's stay on. Uh, let's stay on to well, it could be any mistake, but you know what your mistake was. You know, um, selling drugs yeah, yeah. You know, what would you say to somebody? Uh to uh a person who's going through that same situation, or you know, or any mistake.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean, if it was something like that I did, and when you have a record or something like that, it's not the end of the world and possibly get expunged, and if not, you're just going to, at the end of the day, nobody owes you anything, nobody owes you a job. They don't have to hire you for anything. So like if if you're in a situation where you can't get a job because of your record for whatever reason, and it can't, you have a record that can't be expunged, I mean you're just going to have to, you know, put yourself about a bootstraps network, self-develop, and then, you know, start a business Again. I started a cleaning business. How much does that really take? Probably like two hundred dollars to register the business name and go to Walmart or whatever store and buy a few cleaning supplies and get little jobs here and there. Next thing, you know, you get word of mouth, referrals and you're growing from there. Little jobs here and there. Next thing, you know, you get word of mouth, referrals and you're growing from there. So I mean that might not be what you want to do, but at least it's something that gets you started and confident in doing something until you find something else and that's kind of how I looked at it. So, like there's always, businesses, you can start with little to no money and, you know, earn money for yourself. So I would say it's not the end of the world. Earn money for yourself. I would say it's not the end of the world. We live in America. There's opportunity everywhere. Having a record is not a death sentence. You can get your way out of. It's going to have to be independent. You can't rely on somebody to give you a job and give you a pay every week, but it can be done. It can be done. Sometimes you got to do In the trucking industry.
Speaker 1:There's a lot of people who have records and they go into trucking. It's not the ideal lifestyle but it pays really well. But sometimes a lot of people don't want to do it, like I can't find a job or the job I have doesn't pay enough. The thing is like you were talking about. Sometimes people just don't want to do what has to be done. They don't want to. They don't want to sacrifice. I mean, nobody's telling you to be a truck driver or anything that you don't want to do for 20, 30 years. Just just get in somewhere, get your foot in the door, get your good experience and then you know, just move on from that while you try to transition into the next thing that you really want.
Speaker 2:And that's great. That's great, that's a great word right there, lance. It's all about determination, not giving up, changing your mindset, and that is exactly what we talk about here on B3U and my brother. I appreciate you coming on and being transparent and sharing your story and showing people, young people especially, that you know it's not too late. Don't give up. You know again, society can teach you that it's over, but you'll never know until you try. If you don't try and you just put it out in the atmosphere that it's not going to happen, you're already defeating. You're already shrinking yourself to match what statistics say or what somebody told you.
Speaker 2:In the military we call them barracks lawyers. You have to stop listening to the barracks lawyers. You have to research, have to stop listening to the barracks lawyers. You have to research for yourself. Do the work, do the work. You have to do the work and I will say for me, most of my things has been very spiritual. I lean on God, was raised in the church, I am a believer and I do know for a fact that the Bible is correct when they say faith without work. You can't just wish for it and then don't put no work behind it. So I commend you, and you're my brother and I love you. I'm proud of everything that you have done and are doing, and I can't wait to see what. What's next, you know? Um, I want to uh say one more thing, because you know you have a niece that loves you. She you're like on this high pedestal to her because you taught yourself Japanese. Am I correct?
Speaker 2:yes you taught yourself Japanese and she was doing that same thing. So a man, you're a man who has a determined determination like a spirit, a willing spirit, and that's what I love most about our family, the Williams family. We are some determined jokers. We are determined, and that's whether you have it in your family or you don't have it in your family Determination is key. Determination is key, so go ahead.
Speaker 1:You know. I want to say one last thing. You said the barracks lawyers don't listen to people.
Speaker 1:Due to research yourself, I would say Even don't. I mean don't even get discouraged from what you find on Google and all these forums and everything like that. Because, because everything that I've read when I had, when I had a record that wasn't exposed, oh I couldn't go, I couldn't do this, I couldn't do that. So everything that I read it almost makes you still want to give up because everything is saying like you can't do it. But everything you said I couldn't do, I've done it. No truck company is going to hire you. I had my own trucking company. I worked for trucking companies, probably like three or four of them. So like if I just looked on Google and saw like oh no, you're done, then that was it. Now there's always somebody out there that will give you a chance. You just got to, like you said, have the determination and willingness to continue to look for the opportunities and to have the determination and willingness to continue to look for the opportunities, and that's so true.
Speaker 2:Well, thank you, lance Williams, my brother, my baby brother. I thank you for coming on and sharing your transparency. I look forward to you coming back and sharing maybe something else that could help someone else on. Whatever is next, and I thank my viewers for coming and sharing this time with Mr Lance Williams and your host, brie Charles. We'll see you guys. Thanks for having me.