Burn-Break&Become Unstoppable B3u
“Welcome to B3U, the podcast where we will always speak our truths by Burning pains of the past, Breaking the broken mindset and Becoming Unstoppable, reclaim power all while walking into our purpose . I’m Bree and if you’re here today, you or someone you love has likely faced the dark reality of abuse. First, let me say this—you are not broken. You are not defined by what happened to you. You are here, and that means there is hope, strength, and a future waiting for you.
Here we will be diving into the journey of healing. We’ll talk about the aftermath of abuse, how to reclaim your voice, and the steps toward true freedom and find your purpose . Whether you’re just beginning to process your experience or you’re deep into your healing journey, this podcast is for you!
Burn-Break&Become Unstoppable B3u
Reclaiming Your Power
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Have you ever felt completely drained at the end of a day, wondering where all your energy went? The answer might be simpler than you think—you've been giving your power away.
In this raw, heartfelt episode, I dive deep into the often unconscious ways we surrender our power to people, places, and even our own pain. Drawing from my personal journey through military service, abusive relationships, and healing from trauma, I share how I finally learned to reclaim my energy at age 53 after decades of people-pleasing and shrinking myself to fit others' expectations.
We explore the uncomfortable truth that "every time you silence your truth to keep the peace, you declare war on yourself." This powerful realization transformed how I approach relationships, work, and self-care. I share the exact strategies that helped me move from constantly seeking external validation to becoming the gatekeeper of my own energy—including morning mantras, boundary-setting practices, and daily check-ins that revolutionized my relationship with myself.
Whether you're struggling with workplace burnout, toxic family dynamics, or simply feeling like you've lost yourself in the process of caring for everyone else, this episode offers practical wisdom for taking back what's rightfully yours. Your energy is sacred, your voice is potent, and your power is yours to protect. It's time to take it all back.
Ready to transform your relationship with yourself and reclaim your power? Listen now, and then share one thing you'll do this week to take your power back. Your journey to wholeness begins today.
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Taking Back Your Power
Speaker 1Welcome back . Welcome back to Be3U , and I'm your host , bree Charles , and I'm so excited to be here with you today . So today we're going to dive deep , deep into the powers we've always had . But we tend to give our power and our energy away , not even realizing that sometimes we can do this through whether it's people , places or our pain . We often give our energy away , but they were taking it back . They were taking it all back , all of it , because your energy is sacred , it's your voice , your voice is potent and your power is yours to protect . So let's talk about how we could take it all back .
Speaker 1So the first way is the silent exchange how we are capable of giving our power away . Sometimes that looks like people pleasing , shrinking yourselves to be liked or accepted in a group or wherever overgiving , pouring from an empty cup to our families and friends or even our partners . I know that I am a big . I'm guilty on that because I'm always told that . You know , I give so much , I give so much , and then when I get to that burnout phase , it's like I'm looking around like who's going to pour into me , so overpouring over giving ourselves when we really don't have that much to give and then sometimes we don't have people to pour back into us . So let's talk about the workplace . Workplace burnout . I'm sure a lot of us is familiar with that . We go to work we don't have nothing in us , but we still get up to go to work to deal with whatever environment we have to deal with . Some of the workplaces can be toxic . So I imagine , you know , trying to get out , I can imagine I should say trying to get up every morning going to a toxic job , but you know you got to hit that clock nine to five just to take care of your families , doing things or certain jobs that maybe you're really not happy with . That's not your field , but you're trying to . You know , climb the ladders , take the steps to get where you want to be .
Speaker 1Trauma , responses , codependency , guilt , shame , self-abandonment we begin to abandon ourselves because we really don't know who we are . So I want you , when you wake up and you realize these things and all these things that are put upon you , I want you to say to yourself that every time that you silence your truth to keep the peace , you declare war on yourself . That's what we're doing when we keep the peace , when we be quiet . We're not . Everybody else is to go around being scot-free , with no care , no worry .
Speaker 1While we're trying to keep the peace , because we're trying to shrink ourselves to fit in , we're declaring war on our peace of mind , on our way of thinking , on how we want to do things , because we just shrink ourselves to just be in that comfort zone . I don't know how many times I've had to do that , even with we were speaking about partners and my ex-husband my first marriage was very abusive and of course I run from one hell to another hell wind up with him and it's like I shrunk myself . I knew I didn't want to be in that relationship , but I shrunk myself just to fit in and do as he pleased , so he could be happy , and I just never excelled and did what I wanted to do for myself because I allowed him to have the control over me . So I'm sure a lot of us can identify with that . I mean , how many times and how long ? Okay , how long are we going to subject ourselves to working in at places that we really don't want to work in ?
Speaker 1Okay , you're getting up , you're punching a nine to five ? I was talking to someone the other day and they said I can't wait to start working for their man and you know , as soon as I get my money up , I'm going to , you know , do my own business . Well , why , why wait ? Why wait ? Because determination is key in anything that you want to do , and I want to be realistic . I want to be realistic and I want to be transparent .
Speaker 1Okay , most of us cannot just get up and say you know , hey , what , you know what , I'm tired . I'm tired today , I'm not going in , I'm going to just start this business . But everything has a process . It's a process . If you want to get out there and you're tired of being in an environment that you are in , okay , we have to take the necessary steps to get out of that right now , to get to the future , okay . So it's by . If you say that you're in this environment and you want to do this , then what are we doing to take the necessary steps to get out of there ? How long are we going to shrink ourselves and keep putting off what we want to do for our futures , for our children , for ourselves ? You know what are the steps . So , like I said , every time you silence your truth to keep the peace , you're declaring war on yourself . So let's remember our power is a choice , it's not a reaction .
Speaker 1Okay , define power . Power is not control , it's self-mastery , like when we start off in grade school . We start off in grade school , first grade , all the way through 12th okay and during those times , each grade , each grade , we're learning something new , we're learning something different . Once we master the first grade , we progress on to the second grade and after we master that grade , then we go forward and forward and forward from there . So I believe that that's the way we need to self-master ourselves . When we are sitting here and we're giving up our power in the beginning . We learn from our mistakes , our trials and our tribulations .
Speaker 1I know I've been through so many trials and tribulations . After a while I never would repeat that trauma or that trial again Marrying my first husband . He was abusive and he was very controlling . I made it up in my mind when I left that 17-year-old marriage that I will not be controlled or abused mentally or physically anymore . I self-mastered myself to say that I'm worth more than to be beat on , to be disrespected as a woman . Ok , so I learned that I self-mastered that part of me . So to any other man that I met after that I made sure that I was not going backwards but I was graduating into the man that I wanted to have .
Speaker 1So we respond versus react . Okay , responding versus reacting , choosing where our energy goes . We need to really master and take that time to say you know , I'm going to work today . I got this boss that I know , me being in the military . Okay , let me tell you , it was no easy job and I joined at the age of 30 years old . So I came in there and some of the leadership that was above me I was older than them so I had to humble myself and say you know , I got to remember the reason why I came in here . And you know , you learn in the military to choose where your energy goes . You know , because if the drill is yelling at you and telling you what to do and get up the hill , get up there . You maggot cupcake , whatever you know you had to . You know just
The Silent Exchange: Giving Power Away
Speaker 1sit and humble myself and say Be quiet . I was going to be quiet and this is all a game . I know that this is for the betterment of my life . This is all a game . I know that this is for the betterment of my life .
Speaker 1But as I got into my craft of the military , I had a couple of toxic leaderships that I had to just humble myself so many times and shrink myself just to fit in , to do what I was told so many years in the military I had to do that . I was so glad when I retired because what I did was speak my mind once I got out , because you had to humble yourself , okay , and it took a lot of control and power . You know control because we already said our power is not control but it's a mastery , right . So in the military you had to master each rank and that's why when I came in , like I said I was 30 and I was like you know , I'm going to master how to ignore some things , how to view things so I can make it to the next rank in the next grade . And then I knew what kind of leader that I was going to be . I was a leader before I even joined the military . So that's why I kind of went in there and knew how to humble myself and not say anything .
Speaker 1Of course , through all my trials and tribulations I knew that . Okay , if I came from the streets of West Philadelphia , I'm sure that I can handle this . I can make it . I have five children that I need to provide for . So I want to humble myself , I want to shrink myself and I'm going to shrink myself and I'm going to master the way to get to the next rank , to the grade to where I am the leader and those who will follow me , and then I will know how I want to take and build my leadership . So I've had to do a lot of choosing when my energy goes . I had to do a lot of choosing when my energy goes , especially when I had the toxic leadership . Like I said , toxic leadership , I just was like I had to remember .
Speaker 1Now I'm not going to lie to you and say that I didn't have my time , where I did . Let the street and the street person come out , street person come out and you know , once you um , lose rank and be doing 45 and 45 , those military personnel know what I'm talking about . Okay , but I had to humble myself and say , okay , you know what ? This is not the way to go . So I'm not going to sit here and say like , oh , I was perfect . I humbled myself all the time .
Speaker 1No , that was not correct . I didn't have any control of my power . I gave my power away at quite a few times in the military , you know , just trying to make it through . But see , that's what I'm talking about mastering how not to , because once you get that rank and that money taken away and you're in that military service as we call them GIs where government issues , you have no choice but do what you was told . Okay if you wanted to , you know , survive and make the necessary money that was needed . So it's about learning Again , learning from my mistakes , dealing with the toxicity of the leadership that I had , shrinking myself to be there and I wouldn't say that I had any power when I was in in the military , because it was all controlled . I had to do what I was told to do in order to make the life that I wanted to live , which I'm living now . Okay .
Speaker 1So energetic boundaries , um , learning to say no without an apology , um , is another way that our power is a choice . Okay , because if we have , it took me um a long time uh , it took me 53 years to learn to say no and value myself . This is all after , as well , getting out the military and learning that I have a voice . Okay , my power is mine . Okay and I will not let my power be controlled by anyone . And and this was taught , this was discovered by me when I went to the military PTSD inpatient therapy and it took me so long to learn where my trauma and where I gave my power up as a young girl . And so , now that I've learned that after 53 years , after going through some phases of trials and tribulations , my no game is strong , okay , I know when to say . Now that no means no , without apologizing Because in the military . Well , let's go back to family , which we all have , family where you don't want to disappoint you .
Speaker 1I always wanted to be heard , seen and understood . After being molested by my oldest cousin and you know I was that fear was put into me to not say anything , or you know , I know he's like the mean cousin , he's an idiot , but you know he was the mean cousin . At the time I was a little girl , you know . So I was like , oh my gosh , I don't know what's going on right now , but I'm going to be quiet . I was like , oh my gosh , I don't know what's going on right now , but I'm going to be quiet . And you know , because I'm scared . You know , I gave my power up .
Speaker 1And that's where I learned when I went to this intense PTSD . It was a PTSD clinic where they allow us Well , they want us to face our traumas . Where they allow us well , they want us to face our traumas . And I never , never wanted to face any of my traumas because , see , after all the years of abuse and trauma , I became a master at masking . Ok , so I had to learn that . You know , I had to come out of that and take my mask off , and that's what that PTSD training did for me . It made me see , after 53 years , why I did so many things the way I was , and I was able to pinpoint it where it started .
Speaker 1So that's why I , after going through , again like I said , so many series of trauma , I was always trying to mask and please people , because I didn't want people to hurt me , I didn't want people to talk about me , I wanted to be somebody's friend , I wanted to be valued , I wanted to be seen with my marriage . I just if I just hang in here , hey , he'll see me for who I am and he'll come around . I will pray over him . I grew up in a Baptist home . I grew up in Catholic home . I grew up in a Muslim home , I grew up in it all . So my prayer game was strong and I said , well , I had my first son out of . Well , my first child was a rape baby and I was like to myself , when I met my , that he , you know , was given to me for the sake of . He said he would take care of me and my son and nobody had to know , and we would just raise him and this big old family with the white picket fence and the dog . You know , we just supposed to be happy .
Speaker 1But after so many years of going through trauma and so many years of being in a toxic marriage and then giving all my time to the military ,
Power as Choice, Not Reaction
Speaker 1I am able to now . Now to say no , without an apology , because I was always looking for somebody to validate me , somebody to believe that I am a good girl , I am a good woman , I can be . You know , until I just got to the point where I was , you know , I got to my lowest , lowest level , lowest , lowest level , and my biggest thing is fear . Fear is what used to control me . Fear of somebody finding out , uh , that I , I was molested . Fear of somebody finding out that I was raped . Fear of somebody finding out that I'm in an abusive marriage and I didn't want anybody to get hurt . Fear of losing family members after family members while being in the military . Fear of death after I lost a soldier I was just . And then my own life .
Speaker 1I had a stroke at a young age of 41 years old . Didn't know what it came from , what it was , but I can tell you now it's probably stress because I've been through so much that you know it just . It was a freak stroke . But this is the thing . After I got to my lowest , I lost a couple of nieces and lost my nephew to suicide . And I won't say that I have a good relationship with my biological sisters . But I will say that I was hurt because my nieces and nephews they were supposed to , you know , reach out but I guess because the upbringing , the family that they had . You know I was like the auntie that pops in and out . You know what I'm saying .
Speaker 1But it hurt me to my core because all my nieces and nephews knew whether , regardless whether I was around or not , they knew that I was in the military , they knew I was serving , but I felt everything was taken out of me learning that my nephew had some things going on and I didn't know about it , that maybe I could have helped him because I also suffer from mental health issues , and I was able . I thought then and that was the same for my soldiers Like how did I lose him ? You know , I could have helped him . I was helping him , but at the end of the day he had a different alternative than I had . And my nephew . I couldn't save him either . But going through that PTSD therapy inpatient clinic helped me realize that there's nothing that I could have done .
Speaker 1It was all out of my control . And that's what I mean about having power Learning when to say or realize that you should work on the things that you can control and not on the things that you can't control and not on the things that you can't . And then the overpouring the boundaries , just letting people just step all over my boundaries , because wherever I was needed , to any of my family or friends , I was always the one to show up and be there . You know , couldn't say no , wouldn't say no , you know . Or to my friends , I would wouldn't say no because , you know , I wanted everybody to see like hey , she cool , she good people , you know , not realizing that some people can take advantage of that .
Speaker 1It was one time where I had a big , massive group of girlfriends , of sisters . I called them and it was because I wanted to try to bring the world together . My family used to call me Mother Teresa . That name followed me for so long . And now I realize that , yeah , I was kind of being a Mother Teresa , you know , and half these family members , or half these friends , or half these co-workers don't even care about me , because when you get to your lowest , where is everybody at it's crickets , right . So I used to have this big group of sisters , you know , and you know , like , hey , sis , whatever you need , I'm there . You know , being wherever I'm needed , like giving the stuff that I wouldn't even have , and even at the times where , with my now husband , like you know , if I didn't have it , I'm am . I ask my husband , you know , can you have me ? You know , and just try .
Speaker 1One thing that I did learn Is that everybody is not for everybody . You know , I tried to bring women together . I was so naive , so naive to believe that , hey , everybody can get along and everybody , it doesn't matter . It doesn't matter , everybody can get along , doesn't matter , everybody could get along . Not understanding that everybody has different personality , different tastes , different beliefs , different way of character . So you can't bring everybody together in a close setting . Now , people can be cordial , but it took me a while to learn that because you know some of the group would be like you know some people would be like . Learn that because you know some of the group would be like you know some people would be like no , I agree , you know , I I just can't , you know , and I'm like well , I don't understand why , you know that's the kind of person I am , well , why we can just have marshmallows and sit by the fire . You know , I don't want to understand why a group of women can't be together . So let's just say now , I understand , I understand now that you know everybody just is not for everybody .
Speaker 1You have to sometimes break down your circle . You know you have to separate your circle , break it down and learn to say that it that it's okay to say no , you know , to no new friends . You know no new friends . I mean , I'm telling you I was that type of person . Oh , she's my friend , I'll be her friend because she , you know , you know it had to be somebody that had a story or a sad story and I just wanted to help . Let me be your friend , you know .
Speaker 1But that was all due to me , with the little girl in me who's hid from fear and everything so long that I didn't realize that everybody didn't genuinely , genuinely care for me . So , uh , it takes a lot of um learning to say no , like , like , hey , you know , I'm good and it's okay . I have friends that I don't have to talk to for a while but I can pick back up and say , hey , girl , how you doing ? And those are friends . And still , if I'm needed , if they pick up the phone and call , I'm there . I don't have to say yes to everything and bring everybody and everything together .
Speaker 1And if people could not see the goodness in me from just being a person and the kind of friend or wife that I'm doing , then hey , then you weren't for me in the first place , because if you don't see me , I don't need you to see me . I know who I am now and , like I said , it took me 53 years just to know who I am . So now I'm confident with saying no , because I don't need anyone to validate me anymore . And these are the things that we need to come together and realize we don't need anybody to validate us . Our power is ours , our power is solely ours , and we make the decision on what we want to do , who we want to be with or not .
Speaker 1And all I want to say that it's an affirmation that I'd like to say , and is that I'm the . I am the gatekeeper of my energy . I'm the gatekeeper . What I allow is what continues in my life . I separate on what I I want and from what I don want . My energy is mine and I'm the gatekeeper of that . Now , I control who I give it to . So I want you to take that affirmation and say it to yourself when you get up in the morning .
Speaker 1Every morning that I get up , I am talking to myself , constantly getting myself together . Now , remember , I'm a retired veteran . So you know I got all the aches and pains . Ok , I got the mentality . So what I have to say to myself every day is like OK , come on , you know I have to get out of this funk . And let me put it out there that you know I am a coach , but I'm not a certified clinician or anything , but I will tell you what has worked for me . And number one , I'm going to tell you that God always carried me . I'm always in glory to the most high for keeping me and giving me these ways and these methods to still be here to talk to you today . But I always have to reaffirm myself , and that's what I also learned in my therapy is that I need to speak out loud and hear things and reaffirm myself that I can . I can do this , and whenever I feel like something is tugging at me or pulling me in a direction to pull me down , just to let it go or take it back . And that's what I do . I take back things . I still , to this day , go through things where I'd be like I'd be falling , you know getting , you know thinking like , oh my gosh , well , I don't have nothing .
Speaker 1What is going on with this podcast ? I have a couple of businesses that I run , so I stay pretty busy , busy and I get discouraged , and then it's like you know what , today I don't think I could do this , or I've been at this for a certain amount of time , and then I realized that you know why am I giving up on myself If I did 20 years and plus in the working field , in the Army . Why am I going to give up on myself and my businesses ? Why am I giving up on myself ? Why am I giving my power away ? So this is the reason why I talk to myself in the morning , because I think about the path forward for myself and my family and say you know what , okay , you know , okay , let me get up . The pain is not that bad . You know , if it's raining outside , I'll talk myself into . You know , a sunny day , I'm a fall baby , so I love the fall , you know . So , whatever it is , I put my mind frame , I stop listening to myself and I start talking to myself . So I could talk myself out of that mood that I am in because I have stuff to do . Ok , I just have stuff to do , plain and simple , ok . So let's Just letting go of guilt .
Speaker 1Guilt is another thing . When it comes to setting boundaries with our loved ones , you know I you know have five children . As I told you , I have five children and I spent most of their lives in the military system . So , after they're all grown , I have one son that I didn't raise fully when me and his father separated . Well , actually , before then he went to live with his grandmother and I held a big guilt over not raising my child and you know
Setting Boundaries with Family
Speaker 1we had to sit down and talk when he got older and we just got to the chance to say , well , son , it's not like I didn't want you or try to get you to come into the military . You know I wanted you to be with us and he remembers when he was told to say no and I , you know , we put our , our puzzles and our pieces together and for the longest time he would say to me , as if I didn't want him , like , why didn't you want me ? Why didn't you take me with my brothers and sisters , you know , to Germany or wherever I was stationed Like mom , why didn't you come get me ? So , you know , to Germany or wherever I was stationed like mom , why didn't you come get me ?
Speaker 1So even after we explained everything , talked everything out , you know he would kind of use that sometimes to , you know , try to guilt me . And you know , not even all the time , not all the time , would he use it to guilt trip . Sometimes I just be like , you know , when he do things or whatever , it's like you know , oh man , you know I'm the one who messed up . I messed up , it's my fault . You know that I didn't raise him with y'all . You know I guilt trip myself sometimes as well . And then , you know , even with the other children , you know I have , you know , mom , you didn't do this , or mom you wasn't here , or mom you didn't do that and it would bother me so bad it would bother me like , oh , I'm a failure . I'm a failure . I was not a good mother . You know I was not a good mother .
Speaker 1This is why I say that even family now does not get unlimited access to me because of everything that I went through with the children , family . I will just say that I would look back and say you know , after talking with them and so many things that I didn't do , and then I had to sit down and look at the things that I did do , the sacrifices I did make . You know , children , when they're young , they're just free and carefree under your house and you're doing the best that you can to give them the best that you can , and they don't realize that they just looked at the side of Mom you wasn't there . Or Mom you didn't do this . Or Mom you wasn't there , or mom you didn't do this , or mom , you didn't teach me that . And this is why , too , I can kind of release my mother and , you know , not put like blame on her to say you didn't teach me this , so you didn't teach me that , or you didn't love me enough , or you know , the point is now that I am grown , just as my children are grown .
Speaker 1So , hey , you know , these are the things that I say to all of my children . You know it's like , hey , you know which , most of them , since they're getting up there , you know , I got my oldest son is . He's pushing 40 . So it's like , right now , mom , I understand now . Now , mom , I understand now . So it's like I tell them you know that parenting doesn't come with a handbook , but you do the best you can with what you can .
Speaker 1And I give them the example of where I came from , what I've been through and where I'm at , and I try to explain to them that nobody is going to wake up unless you are born into money . Ok , it's just , nobody is just going to wake up and boom , everything is handed on a silver platter . I noticed that the young people today , they want everything handed and they want it quick and I have to sometimes slow people down , these young people down , to say , hey , you know , rome wasn't built in a day . It wasn't , and neither was my life , neither was the things that I have now . You don't know what I've been through to get the things that I have today . And this is where I also have to remind my family or family , those , and to just remember this that just because they're blood doesn't mean that they're entitled to any of my peace , to any of my power . Okay , because this is all my choice .
Speaker 1You know , there are things that my family may not understand why I am the way I am . My family may not understand why I am the way I am , but which I have pretty , pretty good family that you know , those that do love me , they understand like , hey , you know , bridget , you know you've been away and we thank you for your service . And you know they sit , they listen , they understand what it is that I've been through . I'm very open with my aunt . I love her so much . She is my go-to and she understands and she still loves me , just like we . I never left , I never left . So sometimes we have to release the belief that blood is an entitlement for the family members that even try to come and steal our peace , take our power from us . We have to put them at bay and in place .
Speaker 1Creating an emotional safe space from toxic family dynamics is what I do a lot of . I love on those who love me , I pour into those who pour into me , and that's with anybody . A lot of my family that I call families are my military sisters and with that I narrowed that big old group that I told y'all I had . I narrowed that group down to a science because , again I say that I had to realize I don't need all of these people in my life . I don't have to be the eyes , the wizard of eyes , and you know . So bringing everybody together , everybody together , you know , and happily going down a yellow brook road . You know I don't need all , I don't need to do all of this . And that's the same for with family . You know , um , I just have my little space and , uh , anytime anything comes into it , that's a negative . I put a plus on , sign on it and I show the person the door . You know what I'm saying .
Speaker 1So we if this was something that you know once I learned that , wow , I have so much power is the reason why I don't work for anybody in . Uh , today I just don't work for anybody . Today I just don't because I'm not willing to . I want something more , something better . Now again , I'm a retired and people think veterans , retired veterans we make so much money . I don't know why people have that , that , that narrative that we're sitting on millions or something you know . But I know that the way for me that I'm gaining is everything that I do . I choose not to work for anybody . So I say to myself you know what that's it I'm just going to .
Speaker 1After I came out of PTSD therapy , I said to myself that's it . You know , I have different goals and missions in my life and I just could not be in the workforce and and just it was like I , I didn't fit , I didn't belong . So I said I had to gather myself and now that I knew where my trauma , where my fear and where my shrinkage came from , I just bust out of that thing like Diana Ross singing . Yeah , I did that . So it's like now I am just have this unstoppable mentality that I don't let anybody tell me different than what I tell myself .
Speaker 1So I say this to say I , when I wake up I look in that mirror and I tell myself I love you . Nobody else needs to love you more than I love you . I will not lose myself to keep anybody company . I shouldn't have to lose myself to keep you company . I mean to keep you comfortable and this is one of the things that I love about my now marriage . You know , I don't have to shrink myself . Okay , I don't have to . I love the communication that we have . We both allow each other to be free in our own individual self and we know how to come together or how to agree . When it's we just agree to leave it alone . But we are not , we don't tear each other , each other down .
Speaker 1So but if my husband and this is my second marriage if my husband was ever one day to just say you know what ? Hey , you know , I know I found somebody new or a younger model , you know I would be upset . I'm not going to say that , oh , I found myself and I'm a hundred percent Okay , I'm not . I can't tell you that . But what I can tell you is I love me first and if he was to do that , I'd be hurt , sad man , I don't know , he might disappear , disappear . But I would love myself enough to not say that , oh , it's my fault or what's wrong with me . And no , I would . I wouldn't , because now I , I know who I am and I know that I , you know , it's the true saying you was born in this world by yourself and , and I'll leave , by myself , and I just try to keep it . You know , my husband has my whole heart , my whole heart , my everything . You know . But these are the things that I have for Bree , for Bree to stay in power of the type of woman that I am , and also give my husband , who's been through some trauma and been through some things , I don't try to take his power from him either . He is the man and I let him be the man as I be the woman and we both work together , you know .
Speaker 1So
Self-Love and Daily Affirmations
Speaker 1I want you to say that to yourself , okay , that I love you . You really have to look at yourself and tell yourself that you love you . Take back the power that you've given so many people , because , at the end of the day , who is going to pour into you once you've given everything you have ? And sometimes you will find yourself looking for people that you may have helped or people you've done , think whatever , and sometimes you hear that , hear that , that silence , and that's when you're going . You know , after doing so , after giving so much of yourself , time at the time , at the time you're going to find yourself in that lowest moment when you don't have anything else to give .
Speaker 1But I want to tell you today that take your power back . When you feel that low , start talking to yourself . Speak to yourself and say it has to be something better than this . Not every day we wake up knowing where we're going , what we're doing . But you have to have , you have to find your purpose . Look , I could sit here and we could talk all day about how to take your power back , how to be encouraged , how to be powerful . But the truth to the matter is it all starts with you . You have to make the choice . You have the power , and the power is choice , and God gives you the chance . Come on somebody . Y'all going to have me in here preaching , but I'm just saying okay , what does taking our power back look like ? What does that look like for you ?
Speaker 1Okay , saying no to emotional labor , Saying no , that's what I mean about talking to myself in the morning . You know , taking that back , saying you know what ? No , you know , I'm just going to do a little few stretches here . Okay , I refuse to lay in this bed all day and I start praying . I said God , by your stripes I am healed . I am going to get up this morning . I'm going to do what it is that I said I was going to set out to do . You know , even if I'm tired and there's a message that God needs me to put out , and I'm tired or I'm maybe weak or whatever , I am going to talk to myself to make it happen for myself .
Speaker 1Okay , so , saying no to that emotional labor , ok , where sometimes I have the , the , the sad syndrome , like I just don't feel like it , or you know , because you know , whatever I mean , I'm telling you I have so many things that go on . I'm telling you that emotional labor is really something that I say no to daily because I remember the soldiers that I lost , I remember the family members that I lost , I remember the things that I had to go through as a child . I have so many things that haunt me . But I say no because sometimes I think about things and that's what I'm saying , like listening , I'm listening to myself and then I have to talk myself out of that emotional , that emotional trauma , like you know , wherever my family members that I've lost , that I just love so much and I feel like I missed a lot of time with my family that I love because I was in the military . I didn't get a chance to say things that maybe I wanted to say , I didn't get a chance to do things that I wanted to do because I was in the military . Those are the things that these are the emotional roller coasters that I'm on and I have to say you know what , not today , because if those family members , if my nieces and nephews , they hear me now what I tell them is I love them , know that I love you , and I get right off of that emotional rollercoaster and I just keep it pushing , okay .
Speaker 1And daily check-ins with myself Okay , let's do a daily check-in with ourselves . And is this mine to carry ? Okay , is this mine to carry ? Is this emotional ? Are these emotional ? Is these thoughts ? Is these emotions mine to carry ? Are they mine ? You know , and sometimes the answer is no . The answer is no because when I look at some of the things that happened , they were not in my control . Let me tell you God has set me on a path and he spoke to me so clearly and said Bridget , stop worrying about the things that you can't control . Leave that up to me , because I am the great I am . You do things that you have control over .
Speaker 1So again , like I said , my fear of death for myself or my family I feel like you know I'm running around trying to beat the clock , trying to get everything done and trying to do so much when you know God just had to slow me down and let me know that handle these things , that let me give you something that you can do . So this is where I started my non-profit , the House of Humanity , because if I couldn't help the people that I lost , then let me save the people that I can . So the House of Humanity , my nonprofit organization , is a organization that shelters homeless people , low-income families and domestic violence victims , so I can help those people that have or have or have or are going through domestic violence . You know low-income families because I've been there and I always humble myself to say , hey , that was me one day , that was me at one time . So I love to give back .
Speaker 1And if I did all of this military service in other countries ? Why not come back to the soil that I was born on to give back to the community ? So that's what I mean about finding our purpose , the things that we do carry . Is it yours to carry ? Look inside yourself and talk to the most high to say what , show me , give me a path , because I didn't know where my path was . Again , I just learned my purpose and my path at the age of 53 .
Speaker 1And we need to invest . Invest in our growth , our healing , our peace . We need to invest in that . We need to take the time to just say you know what , if I do get up and I'm not feeling my best and if I don't feel like I have anything to give to pour out , I will sit and say to myself you know what , okay , this is a rest day . I'm going to invest in my peace of mind thing . I'm going to invest in my peace of mind . I'm going to go and go to a spa , get a massage . I'm going to go call up one of my sisters and probably let's just . I have a sister . I'm telling you , if I call her right now tonight and say , sis , I need a break , let's go to wherever I have a few sisters two sisters that will be on the plane , on a flight , ready to go and then sometimes I'll sit and just take the time to myself and do some professional growth . I'll read a book , I'll encourage myself . Let me share this with you too .
Speaker 1I was in school . I never understood Like . I always thought that
Reclaiming Energy: Practical Steps Forward
Speaker 1in school I was like slow and I would hide from . You know , I would try my best to be as if I was smart . It just be like I was one of the smart kids or like you know . But I was one of those children that you had to sit down and really teach material to . And I guess I developed that because when I was younger , my mother had this that she had no patience . You know , she had no patience on raising me . She would yell at me when I didn't get things right and I hated that . I hated that . And then when you're going to school and there's so many other students in the room and you asking a question and the teacher ain't got time for you students in the room and you asking a question and the teacher ain't got time for you , and , mind you , I went to a Catholic school too . So wait , I had .
Speaker 1Look , I got some stories for y'all . I have some stories to tell . But I mean , I didn't eat soaping and and got paddle and everything quite a few times , but school was just so it , the things that was being taught . Now I realize that the things you know , I listen to my grandchildren . We don't want to hear about Christopher Columbus , you know it's boring and that's kind of how I felt . Like things that they were teaching me was like you know , I don't care and I had the you know , because nobody took the time out for me , school was not interesting to me . You know , I was more of a different type of kid . You know , I was interested in other things , like a way , just different stuff . I was just a different type of kid . Okay , I went to school with uh . I was in uh , overbrook high school and y'all let me tell you , I went to school overbrook high school is in west philly and I happened to go to school with will smith . Okay , overbrook high school was the fashion high school . I I had a mohawk , I wore Hulk Hogan boots with a onesie . I was totally .
Speaker 1You know , I look back on things . I just sit and reflect in my own growth . Read a book , do something that you know helps me grow and mature from what I used to be . And then healing . I take my healing from just sitting down , sometimes just listening to music or whatever . Healing my mind , forgiving myself , ok , for allowing some of the things that I've been through . First , the biggest thing , too , is we have to learn to forgive ourselves . If we don't forgive ourselves , then who will ? That's another thing . If who doesn't pour into it , if nobody pours into us , you know understand who's going to pour into us ? If you don't pour into yourself first , if you don't love yourself , who's going to love you more and better than you ? I love myself the right way and nobody can love me the way I love me . So , and it just coming into peace with that .
Speaker 1And so journaling , um , is a very good thing . It's like where are you , where am I leaking my energy ? That's a few things I want y'all , I implore y'all , to do this . Just write down , you know , or write in a comment . Tell me , where are you leaking your energy , what are you doing ? You know , you can journal it , you can drop it in the comments . I want to hear where your , your peace , is leaking from . Okay , um , I want you to have a morning mantra and , as today , I return to myself , I want you to encourage yourself each and every day that you wake up , just like I'm telling you people , I'm telling you it works for me . It works because I could not do , I could not make it through if I didn't do the things that I'm telling you . Now .
Speaker 1We have to take back and regain the power that we have given so many , so many people , so many pains . Take it back . Take it back . Let's unplug . Visualize unplugging from toxic cords and unplugging from your source . Okay , sometimes you got to unplug .
Speaker 1You know , I hear people say I'm sick of working at this job , this job getting on my nerves . But they go back every day , you know , and they can't take off . Well , how do you , how can you find a way to unplug from the source ? You know , I told my daughter one time . I said , hey , you know , if it's toxic like that , hey , be smart , get you another job before you leave this one , but get out of that place . And my daughter , see , I raised my children so well . My daughter told the job one time . She said my piece is more than your paycheck . And she , sure enough , she quit that job with five children , made it happen , she saved up some money , okay , and she gave the job the deuces , okay . So , people , we have to . We have to find the source , okay .
Speaker 1So reclaiming our power is not a one-time act . Okay , it's not a one-time act . It takes practice . It takes practice and everyday purpose and prayer . I want you to use all the P's , purpose , prayer , practice . I want you to use it all because it's a daily commitment to ourselves . And just think about it .
Speaker 1If you can go out here and work that hard , or if you could go out here and do all these other things , why won't you do it for yourself ? If you could do it for everybody else , why can't you do it for yourself ? Why can't you ? What are some of the things that's stopping you from being , from having your power ? What are some things ? Drop that in the comment . Let me hear from you . Let's have a discussion on . You know the things that are holding you and how we can , how we can get out of that , how we can get out of that . So I want you to encourage yourselves and observe when you feeling drained or when you feeling like taking action from a place of love or fear , like what are some of the things I told you ? My biggest thing is fear . Fear , death . That's for me . And I have to say I'm not dying today . Nobody's dying today .
Speaker 1And even when I do get phone calls , I found out I'm one of my children have epilepsy . Do you understand , do you hear me , that that was one scare , and I will tell you this story that I was one scared of getting a call at that early in the morning . And whenever my phone rings early in the morning , it kind of it used to kind of set me off . But now I just take my power back and gain that power within myself to say don't go too far over here before you find out what the real answer , what the real deal is . Don't get so emotional and screaming all over the place , you know , screaming all over the place .
Speaker 1I now I take my control by just saying , when I got that phone call and I heard she was not responsive , I just put my hands up , I cleared my mind , I slowed everything down , I listened and I prayed and I've been preparing myself to say OK , this is how I should react , this is how now , not every time , is it ? Look , I've had sisters to . Like I said , I've lost nieces and nephews . Nobody can prepare for that . Nobody can prepare for that . And we need to understand , too , that everything has its timing and its progression . You have to keep going through every day is a different step , every day is a different phase .
Speaker 1But what I'm asking you to do is not give all your power away and take that choice to just say let me see what the next day gives . I've been through suicidal thoughts . I've been through suicide . I've been there , I've done it . So I know what it feels like to just want to give up . So I know what it feels like to just want to give up .
Speaker 1But the one thing I must say is that God , number one , the most high , had my back each and every time he opened doors , each and every time . So that's one thing you have to keep your faith . You have to keep your faith . You have to keep your faith and remember that faith without work is dead . Do something to push yourself every day , just to take that next step , just one little step . So I want you to DM me your comment .
Speaker 1What's the one thing you're going to do this week to take your power back ? I want to have this conversation because I am really , really moved to help people take back their power . Ok , and that's what we're going to do . So we're not here to live the life on our knees begging for peace . So we're not here begging for space or begging for love . But we are here and we're born whole , worthy and powerful . We were given this power when we were born , so we've given it back . We've given it away for so many years and now it's the time . Now it's the time , the day and the age to take back our power , use our voices and for choice and our as choice , to to get more communities , uh , together . More people bring more people together , uh , when it comes to inner peace , the way we think , the way we act .
Speaker 1We all know what's going on in the world right now and I will tell you this I am bothered not . I am bothered not because I don't give my energy and my peace to this madness . If they want to take away everything , they can have it . Okay , they can have it , but you will not bother my peace . You can have social security , okay . You want to treat me bad as a veteran ? Okay , because either way , I'm going to make it . You know , this is the mentality that I wake up with everything , so I thank you all for joining me here on BCU , and we are going to talk more about taking back our power Peace .