Burn-Break&Become Unstoppable B3u
“Welcome to B3U, the podcast where we will always speak our truths by Burning pains of the past, Breaking the broken mindset and Becoming Unstoppable, reclaim power all while walking into our purpose . I’m Bree and if you’re here today, you or someone you love has likely faced the dark reality of abuse. First, let me say this—you are not broken. You are not defined by what happened to you. You are here, and that means there is hope, strength, and a future waiting for you.
Here we will be diving into the journey of healing. We’ll talk about the aftermath of abuse, how to reclaim your voice, and the steps toward true freedom and find your purpose . Whether you’re just beginning to process your experience or you’re deep into your healing journey, this podcast is for you!
Burn-Break&Become Unstoppable B3u
The Altar Experience w/ Chenia Hughes
What happens when a crisis counselor confronts her own trauma? Chenia Hughes brings raw honesty and professional insight to this powerful conversation about healing, helping others, and finding your true worth.
As a licensed master social worker responding to mental health emergencies in homes, schools, jails, and on the streets, Chenia shares how crisis work "chose her" after discovering her natural ability to connect with people in distress. With a calm spirit and personal understanding of pain, she navigates the challenging world of crisis intervention, primarily dealing with suicidal ideation, substance abuse issues, and youth struggling with identity and bullying.
The conversation takes a deeply personal turn when Chenia reveals how her relationship with her biological father shaped her sense of self-worth and accomplishments. Despite being a first-generation college graduate, her father's absence at graduation and apparent disinterest in her achievements left emotional wounds that drove her to constantly seek validation. Through therapy, she learned to recognize these patterns and address them, finding fulfillment in knowing her true identity rather than external approval.
One of the most eye-opening segments addresses misconceptions about crisis management. Contrary to popular belief, it's actually quite difficult to hospitalize someone for mental health reasons. "It's not against the law to be delusional," Chenia points out, highlighting frustrations in a system that often fails to provide adequate intervention until situations escalate to criminal behavior.
This episode beautifully illustrates how confronting our past wounds can free us to live more authentically and help others more effectively. Whether you're in a helping profession, navigating your own healing journey, or supporting someone in crisis, Chenia's wisdom offers practical insights and spiritual encouragement for breaking cycles and becoming unstoppable.
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Hello everyone, welcome to Beat For you and I'm your girl, brie Charles, the host of the show, and I am so excited about what we are going to be running all month long, and that is the Alter Experience and that is the altar experience. This was an experience like no other. I truly had a great time interviewing some of the guests at the altar experience. I want to just thank right now Pastor Moena Tucker and Jamie Tucker for inviting me out to the altar experience, where I was blessed beyond measure with the words that was coming out, so I'm hoping that you as well here, my listeners are just as blessed as I was to hear some of the interviews and some of the entertainment that we will be showing all month long.
Speaker 1:So take a look, enjoy and remember, burn through the pad, break the cycle and become unstoppable. This is what it's all about. Check it out. Hey everybody. We have Mrs Shanae Hughes with us. She is a licensed master social worker, so I'm going to let you introduce yourself and I know you tired girl, we all tired with this, all to experience next over poor than us and we are like, but just please tell my audience a little bit about yourself I'm a social worker.
Speaker 2:um, master, I am a crisis counselor, so I respond to crisis in the community, in homes, in schools, in jails and just out on the streets. When anybody's in crisis, they'll call, like here locally it's 988. Okay, and then they'll be connected.
Speaker 1:So can you walk us through, like their current role? What is it? What is it you do exactly as a crisis?
Speaker 2:yeah, so it's a little what crisis? Crisis is different for everybody. What I think is a crisis is different. So, whatever someone is in the space of which they are not able to navigate it on their own, they call, they can call us. They'll patch the call through to us. I'll kind of get some background information, some safety, make sure I'm not walking into anything that is unsafe, and then I'll go to that person. Our services in Kalamazoo County, where I am, are grant funded, so they're free to the client. Our services in Kalamazoo County, where I am, are grant funded, so they're free to the client. Oh, okay, and when I respond, I respond and I do either de-escalation, whatever that looks like for that scenario, and or I may it may have to get to the point where I have to hospitalize or send someone to inpatient care.
Speaker 1:How'd you get into crisis management? What made you choose that field?
Speaker 2:It chose me. It chose me. I actually have worked in many areas with social work, from working with elderly to working with kids, I believe when I worked at the Kalamazoo County Jail, because when my real crisis started coming into play people in jail, mental health, substance abuse and just being in jail it's a crisis in itself and just navigating those things and I had a natural knack for it, people felt comfortable talking to me, sharing to me, opening up with me, and I just have a naturally calm spirit. And then also, just you know, we all have a story, we all have a testimony. So just the background of where I come from and what I've been exposed to and what I've seen, it ain't a lot that surprised me, no more. And it ain't too much that scared me. I tell people all the time if you see me running, run, because I ain't doing it for exercise.
Speaker 1:So go first, ask questions later. What are some of the crises you face or you get called on. What is the biggest, the most crisis that you are called?
Speaker 2:for I see a lot of suicidal ideation, lots of suicidal thoughts, lots of substance abuse that in turn turns into mental illness. You know that due to the substances, they end up having like a chemical imbalance which turns into like substance-induced schizophrenia and stuff like that. So I get a lot of people that are delusional or hallucinating. Lots of youth that are suicidal due to bullying. Due to dealing with a lot of LGBTQ community youth who are dealing with finding themselves and the pressure that comes with that, I would say youth and suicide and adults with substance abuse are my two highest call volumes I get Okay.
Speaker 1:What is one situation, one call that you got, that touched you and you'll remember for the, for the rest of your life um, or is it a lot? It was a lot. There's a lot. I'm sure you're with a person. Since I've known, you met you. You have a big heart. I know that I do, I do. You have a big heart, so I'm sure that you're like me. I tend to just like, oh my God, I want to help you, want to help everybody, everybody. How do you?
Speaker 2:maintain that Self-care. I'm big on self-care. They push it in school for social work because the burnout rate is so high, because the type of work we do and they definitely in it for the input is not the output, because they'll pay just social work in general, for what we do.
Speaker 1:Yes, you're not valued at what you do? For what?
Speaker 2:you do now.
Speaker 1:There are ways to make money in the field but let me guess you got to get a master's triple time.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you have. It's usually like private practice, right, um, where you can really, you know, get a good incumbent if you care about people and you want to help. You know the people. I'm passionate about the people. God people. God wasn't, jesus wasn't in the church, he wasn't sitting in the building, that's right, he was in the streets. So those are the same people that I'm passionate about helping. So usually those type of positions, but that that fills my cup. That fills my cup to see people. You know. I see, when I used to work in the county jail, they used to call me Miss CMH. Cmh is Community Mental Health, so they called me Miss CMH. So it's overwhelmingly joy in the mire, and so I'm like is that you, miss CMH?
Speaker 1:I'm like, oh Jesus. I turn around and I'm like is that you, Ms CMH? I'm like Jesus.
Speaker 2:I turned around and I'm like oh. I said Lord knows I'm going to be able to date, because the man going to be like who is that? And I can't tell you. You know who it is and how I know him. You know that's breaking their HIPAA, right? So I'm like, oh.
Speaker 1:Right, I know them.
Speaker 2:You know that's breaking their HIPAA, right. So I'm like I'm burning, but it's really joyful to see somebody when they have come out on the other side as successful. I bet you it's rewarding, it's so rewarding.
Speaker 1:Yes, I know what you mean, because that's the reason for me through you is like if I could just reach one person. Yeah, I'm, I pray for many. Yeah, but if somebody hears one of these podcasts and say, you know what I understood, I got, I got clarity. Now I know I've done my job. So we all have a story and I'm sure you have a story on why you went into mental health. Or tell your story. I've heard it already.
Speaker 2:I feel like it was a compilation of things. One thing is, people were just going to make me do their business. People would tell me their business and I just was. Like you know, I had a regular job working with people and I said hey how you doing.
Speaker 2:And next thing, I know they had told me they was abused as a child, molested. I'm like I've been sitting here with you two minutes. You didn't even ask. I was just saying how you doing. How did we get here? What about me? Made you feel comfortable sharing the most inner darkness? You know, I'm like, and it happened all the time. All the time I'm like these people about to pay me. I'm about to be doing this for free, right? So it's like you know, maybe I should go for social work, but even in going in it I was speaking earlier and I was just kind of sharing that I had to go to therapy for myself and I'm covering my own trauma of not having a good relationship with my biological father and I have a stepfather.
Speaker 2:That is absolutely amazing. I will drown the fish for them, okay. So I made sure I did not lack, but subconsciously I still didn't feel like I was ever enough Because no matter what I did, I wasn't accepted or praised by my biological father, even though I had my stepdad. That went above and beyond for me. I had brothers who I guess I could imagine my father desired boys, you know, just having some sons I get it, you know. But he was very loving to my brothers, but me and my sisters he wasn't. So I, just out of my trauma of not dealing with that, I grew up always trying to go above and beyond to be enough for him. So here I am. Oh, I'm going to go get a degree. I'm his first child to go to college. I was a first-generation college student. On both sides of my family Nobody had been to college before me.
Speaker 2:He didn't come to graduation. I'm like, you know, like his response was I didn't know you wanted me there. Why would you not want to be there? Yeah, you know what do you mean? No, he said, I didn't know, it was important. I'm like what? Like you know, by this time I had children and my child, my son, had went to college and you know I wasn't missing. I wouldn't care what I had to do to get there to?
Speaker 2:support him, so I just couldn't understand why he didn't have that same energy, for you didn't get there to support him, so I just couldn't understand why he didn't have that same energy for you, for me, um and he did this repeatedly degrees just for him to show up right, and I didn't even realize it was for him to show up.
Speaker 2:I didn't realize it until I got into therapy and and my therapist pushed past. I thank god for her because she is strong. I have a strong personality. Other people are intimidated by me. I'm not intimidating, but people are intimidated by my presence. So I have to have a strong therapist that's willing to call me out. She'll call me out, she'll'll call me out, you know, she'll let me and she'll ask me something. She'll let me answer surface issues. That was cute, wow. But why? I'm like what you mean? Why, why, what, why does that bother you? Why? Why? You know, and then I have to. Why?
Speaker 2:What I learned about myself in that is for me personally, I don't like to say things out loud, because if I say it out loud now I have to address it. If I don't say it, nobody knows. It's a thing Nobody knows. I'm insecure in these areas, nobody knows, so then I don't have to address it. But when I say it out loud, I hear myself saying and I'm saying those words, I now have to do something about it. You know better, you do better it's funny that you mentioned that.
Speaker 1:I've done that for years in the military with, uh, losing family members. I lost my aunt she died from cancer and you know anybody that I would lose, or my uncle, whatever I just, or my sister, or my God, my God sister. I miss her dearly and you know what I would do that same thing. Well, if I don't address like she still lives right there on 55th and I'll just go see her because I'm too busy right now, or my aunt, she's there in Ohio, I'm just too busy, and that's how I kept myself from the grieving, just to say that they're still there. But whoa, when I retired and I started going through some serious issues from losing, losing people, and I couldn't fake it no more because now I can really easily just go to Philly or wherever and visit and I lost my nephew to suicide, that's when I hit that rock bottom and I had to stop hiding, had to stop hiding. And then when, shanae, when I tell you, it hit me like a ton of bricks. Years and years and years of just imagining these people are still alive in their own areas now I had to tell myself they're not there, you can't call her, you can't go and and see them. They're not there.
Speaker 1:I broke. I broke, it does. I just broke. And then I became angry. I became angry because you know why is this happening to me?
Speaker 1:Then I found out where my other traumas came from. Not only did I just lose all the people who've been gone at one time, I lost a few family members at one time. Can you imagine? I can. I love it. And so now, not only did I lose all of them, but now I know where all my other traumas come from. I'm telling you I was. I am not the person who sits before y'all today, but again, god brought me through and he showed me that I was never alone. All that time I felt alone. I wasn't alone and I no longer had to like we were just talking about. I no longer have to. My value was within me. I don't need y'all to value me anymore. For me it was my mother. I was doing things like that just for my mother to see like hey, look out, I'm the only child she has that went to college and got a degree. But I wanted to show her that I am a good girl. Look at me, look at me. I always wanted to be seen yeah, and that was my thing.
Speaker 1:I wanted to be seen. Because of so many of the traumas that I have been through and some of the things that I've hit, I just wanted to be seen.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and it it went into every area of life yes, you want to be seen in relationships, so you will. You will act out of character in a relationship. You want to be seen at work. You want to be seen in the army. You're, you're, you're climbing the ladder of success in the army because you have to see me. If you have to call me sergeant, you have to see me in these spaces. And it still doesn't fill that boy it does not.
Speaker 1:It does not. You know. My fulfillment came when I found out who I was. Now I don't even care. You know what you? I'm not the best child you got. Okay, then let the children that you think is the best ones take care of you and do whatever you know. Put your faith in whatever you know. I know I don't try that hard anymore. I have a great marriage now, but I don't have to work hard for that. He sees me for who I am with my children. It tries to creep up still.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it tries like even spiritually it creeps up on me. You know there's things that you know. People have spoken over me about who I am and what they see in me that I'm not quite able to see in myself, yet I believe it.
Speaker 2:I'm not able to quite see in myself. Yet I believe it. I'm not able to quite see it. Yeah, visualize it yet, but that fear of not being enough, it won't allow me sometimes to take the next step forward. Because what if I fail? Or what if I don't fit in? Or what if I'm not good enough? Or what if I don't fit in? Or what if I'm not good enough? Or what if it all goes back to the root of that thing. And it's not a blame, you know, it's my dad's fault, that's not what I'm doing, but I've just learned to recognize that. That's where that is. So now, when I feel it creeping up, I can address it. I can, you know, talk to myself and tell myself about who god says I am. Yes, I can speak. You know positive words about myself and I can, you know, identify it early and not let it fester and be forgiveness in terms or offense. I'm able to identify it early and not let it grow into, pull that weed up when it first comes through the sidewalk.
Speaker 1:Oh, my goodness, I know exactly what you're talking about. Not letting it consume you. Yeah, and I will tell you, I can relate to what you said as well, because I watched you speak today. Which y'all going to see that? Okay, y'all got to watch that because you did an amazing job. Like you said, you can't see it. But I have those same fears because I've been speaking in front of hundreds of soldiers, like that's, my comfort zone is the military, so I can speak to 500 soldiers, but I get nervous when I speak in front of maybe 50 to 100 people, or however many people I watch, I get tongue-tied, tongue-twisted, I don't know what to say, my brain getting cloudy Like why, why does that happen?
Speaker 2:That's our subconscious coming in. That's where I said that you know, the trauma is a breathing ground for oppression. Like they, you know the enemy sees that and it's like I can't let Bree be that podcast. I can't let that podcast be great. I got to do everything I can because if sheay be that podcast, I can't let that podcast be great. I got to do everything I can Because if she walks into that completely I'm in trouble.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I can't let her be that power. Yeah, so let me bring up her fears.
Speaker 2:Let me bring up her insecurities.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:There you go. Let me play in her mind. That's why you know, that's why the word says we got to be renewed in her mind. That's why the word says we've got to be renewed in our mind Daily, daily, because that's the area that he attacks, because it's like, if I can get her mind, the rest, of her is going to follow, and that's the same thing for you, sis.
Speaker 1:Like you said, you came out there today and had people interacting, asking questions and I was like I want to ask this question. I went and I ran to Moina like I got a testimony. I want to tell, because somebody just said but about the time that you took the crowd to where I was like, well, they didn't take everything that you asked.
Speaker 2:I was so blessed to have Apostle Nichols come to me afterwards you know she's a general in the spirit, she is a general and for her to come to me and tell me that I made her believe and see the importance and the connection of the natural and the spiritual when it comes to you know, like mental health and taking care of yourself and spiritually and not allowing people to, you know, think you're crazy. Yeah, you know things are crazy, yeah, Like, and not just letting people speak that over you and in the connection and the importance of addressing things and not letting things fester, Like for her. She said I didn't believe in therapy, I come from that old school that day where you know, what goes on in my house stay at my house.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, yes, and just like how you gonna tell me something. Where are you getting your information from? You know who is you to tell me I'm grown? You know she up there in age, you know she don't look it. Oh no, I pray I look good and I pray I make it to that age, but they ain't making it to that age we got this one flyer.
Speaker 2:He is getting on my nerve, right, he is but you know, for me, you know I'm sure it's not the first time she heard about therapy or counselors or anything, but for something that I got up there and said to change her mind about addressing childhood trauma and just trauma in general, because trauma, as a daughter, it's always happening, it's not just childhood, you know, and she said that she needed to address some things in herself and she.
Speaker 1:I know right, you just want to be a part of this interview.
Speaker 2:I'm telling you go ahead and to hear her say that what I said changed her mind, made her, you know, rethink how she go about doing that. Not that I don't appreciate everything that you know, all the positive feedback that I got, but that right there, mm-hmm, it's the cake talker.
Speaker 1:It was the cake talker for me Because, 79 years old, you know people back in her time they were very, they're very stubborn. They don't like change. That's what they grew, that's all.
Speaker 2:That's what they know, yeah and it was something about the way that God, you know, delivered the message through me that that did that. And then other people just came up and do you have contact information? Yeah, you do this and how, and I didn't know and I never thought about it like that and I never thought about. You know the story of no Noah and how people looked at him. I'm like I can only imagine. I can only imagine what the naysayers were saying.
Speaker 1:And that's one thing I realized too. Everybody is not going to like the content I put out, everybody's not going to agree with the things I say. But now that I'm walking in my power and have taken control of that, you either watch the show and appreciate what my viewers are saying. You either watch the show and appreciate what I'm saying, or change the channel, or you don't.
Speaker 2:And you're probably going to leave a nasty comment on the way you change it, and that's fine too.
Speaker 1:And that's going to be something that either I can take to grow from it or take it to throw it away, so being as though you're in the crisis management. That's a heavy work to do. How do you stay emotionally balanced?
Speaker 2:God definitely gives me a grace for it. I don't know what it is, I just have a grace for the areas he put me in and I think the people know it. When I come in, you know, like I said, some people are intimidated by me, and it's not always in a bad way, some people just. I remember when I was working in the county jail there was a guy who he just stayed in a delusional state. He was always in a delusional state and he would be. He would definitely be responding to his trauma, you know, yelling that his mom had abused him when he was younger, even though she wasn't in the jail cell with him. And one day day I walked past and he looked at me and he started cursing me out, which was fine.
Speaker 1:I got that often and he looked at me and he said now go tell your God that.
Speaker 2:I said because I didn't say the word. He said yeah, you heard me. Go tell your guy that. I said well, I'm glad you know. He said no, shut up demon.
Speaker 1:Wow, because I see you and he hushed.
Speaker 2:But the fact, he's seen that even in his delusional state he's seen that even in his delusional state he's seen the guy in me. Plenty co-workers, plenty deputies, officers, sergeants, other mental health clinicians have walked past. He ain't say nothing about. No, god damn. I walked past even though it's cutting me out, but he said not gonna tell your god that wow and and and I am. I'm gonna tell him that you talk to me like that sure is, because I'm gonna pray for you tonight. But, um, but the fact that you can see it on me, so I do think I give me a grace for it spiritually, um, and then just naturally, I just self-care, I pray.
Speaker 1:And that's what I was going to ask you how do you decompress I journal?
Speaker 2:I just do many self-care regimens. I get massages, I get my nails and my pedicure, that's just so I can, you know, feel like, you know, relaxed. I spend time with you know, family and friends, and you know my village of people, and then I leave. I try really hard to leave work. At work, I try to cut it off. I'm not very good at it. I am working on my boundaries. That is my.
Speaker 2:You know, the actual interviews will show weakness. My weakness is my boundary with cutting it off and not taking work home with me. Okay, but and then my therapy? Yeah, because that's my safe place to, to dump, and it's a professional dump. And then, of course, I got my spiritual. You know that I but I don't, you know, share, like people's information with my spiritual, you know. But with my therapist I can, I can do that dump, and she understands, because you know she worked in the field, in the therapy world too. So she understands, um, but I can, I can let let it go, so I'll pick, pull it on, and then I just don't be a dumpster, I just don't let people dump on me and leave it, right, I release it, okay, um, and I do, I do what I can and I ask God. You know, I pray and ask God to put me. You know, let my path cross with the ones that you want me to impact, the ones that you want me to be able to connect with, and he does that. He does it daily.
Speaker 1:So Sinead, there's a most common what is the most common misconception that people have about crisis management? What's a misconception that people have?
Speaker 2:I think the biggest misconception is that, like when you call crisis lines, that that means that you're automatically going to be hospitalized, that that means that you're automatically going to be hospitalized or automatically going to be put into like a psychiatric unit or hospital or inpatient state. It's actually pretty hard to be hospitalized for your mental health. It's not against the law to be delusional. It's not the law to be delusional.
Speaker 2:It's not I can't justify, you know, petitioning or sending people to the hospital because they're outside of their normal way of living. It's actually quite frustrating. Outside of their normal way of living, it's actually quite frustrating. I get a lot of people who family members are not their normal selves but because they're not a danger to themselves or other people, we have to let them be. There's been plenty of times I've been caught and I have seen people walking down the street talking to themselves, asking me do I see the man on the unicorn?
Speaker 1:across the street.
Speaker 2:You know what? I don't see him, but I wholeheartedly believe you do. But guess what? I can't hospitalize him. Not for that, but to his family. That's frustrating because my son's not supposed to see a unicorn across the street wearing a tutu on. Like what do you mean? You can't hospitalize him, he's not okay. But people think that that means we get to automatically. Or a youth who is out of control and breaking windows at their parents' house and breaking cabinets and punching holes in walls. It's destruction. You can press charges, but I know that's not your child that you used to interacting with, but I can't do anything about that. So it's frustrating, though how bad. Because I believe that it is a part of the broken system. Yes, because you have a youth that is acting like this and a parent is calling for help and I come and I can de-escalate him.
Speaker 2:I can call him for the moment but it's not going to last, and then he grows up into the adult that does that that you put in the jail it is a very broken system that you didn't do anything about when I was trying to get get help all the way up until you turned 18, and now you're ready to lock them up. Yeah For rehabilitation, which is actually punishment.
Speaker 1:It is such a broken system. That's a whole other talk. That's a whole other talk, but I just want to thank you for sharing. I want to thank you for your time today. Speaking today, I want to thank you for the knowledge that you poured into me. This is the closest I've had a conversation with crisis management without being in crisis, without being the one in crisis.
Speaker 1:So it is amazing what you do. God bless you. God continue to bless you. Thank you. One of the panelists from the altar experience, another one, and I'm just blessed, blessed by your presence, blessed by your word, blessed by your teaching, and I have another new sister. So great.
Speaker 2:I'm so excited so.
Speaker 1:B3U. Thank you For coming and viewing the altar experience with me and Miss Shania Hughes. See you guys soon.