Burn-Break&Become Unstoppable B3u

Redefining “Normal”: Teaching A World To Love Neurodiversity

• Bree Charles • Season 1

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We share how a mother spotted early signs, pushed for early intervention, and became her son’s voice while challenging narrow ideas of “normal.” Practical steps for navigating diagnosis, school support, and family resilience anchor a message centered on love and informed advocacy.

• early signs such as no words by 12 months and pointing without speech
• choosing early intervention and adapting to home-based therapy
• understanding ASD beyond stereotypes and labels
• supporting siblings and teaching empathy
• advocating with schools for evaluation and services
• managing emotions around genetic testing and diagnosis
• practical communication strategies and daily therapy at home
• educating communities to reduce bullying and increase inclusion
• building legacy by normalizing uniqueness and leading with love

“Burn, break it, and become unstoppable”


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SPEAKER_01:

All right. Hello, everyone. Welcome, welcome to B3U. Happy holidays. Everybody is out there celebrating. I know you are here today. I am with Miss Jessica Harvey, who we are going to talk to today. So, Jesse, welcome to the show, honey.

SPEAKER_00:

Hi, hi, welcome.

SPEAKER_01:

I am enlightened to be here. Thank you. Thank you. No problem. So let's start talking about um what uh so you have a son. I do. And he's autistic. He's on the spectrum, yes. He's on the spectrum. Okay. So tell us a little bit about him. What's his name?

SPEAKER_00:

If you want to disclose this name, I have a five-year-old son. His name is Axir, and he is on a spectrum. He's been diagnosed for about three three years now. Um, but I picked up on a little bit of the things that um the delays that he was having a little earlier on before his diagnosis was uh, you know, set. Set. Okay.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay. What was some of those early signs and moments?

SPEAKER_00:

So a little about me, I'm in the medical field. Okay. Um, I am a medical assistant in a phobotomist. I also have a little background in like PCA work, home health care work. So I've been around a little bit in the field. I'm well knowledgeable. So when I had my son, um, everything was pretty much normal. You know, I didn't really have any signs or anything as an infant. You know, he did have a little um gastro problems like um indigestion where he would throw up a lot. But it was just, you know, typical kid things, you know, things that babies go through, you change their milk around, stuff like that. Um around about I'll say like nine months, ten months when they're typically getting up, trying to get active and starting to say words, formulate any kind of word of if it's a mama or a dad-dad, like he didn't do that.

SPEAKER_02:

Right.

SPEAKER_00:

You know, it was just kind of like wines all the time. So at first it was like, okay, maybe, you know, boys, they are a little slower than girls. I have an 11-year-old and she was pretty fast. You know, she was walking, talking, like it was it was nothing with her. So once it I saw the difference with him, I was like, okay, maybe he's just a boy. Boys are a little slower than girls. We're gonna give him a telephone. By one, he was walking, but he still wasn't formulating words. So I kind of like did, you know, dug a little bit into, you know, you started to become a little curious. I started becoming a little PI, a private investigator for my own good and for my son, because I wanted to understand if this was something that he, you know, that was normal, or if it was something that I needed to actually keep an eye on. Um, so around one and a half, two, it was still, he was not articulating words still, you know, but it was like a and it was a point. So I understood then that he is trying to get me to understand what he's saying. He's trying to get me to understand what he wants, but he cannot verbalize these words. So I started to put him in, it's called early intervention. Um, with early intervention, any kid can go there. You know, a kid being neurodiverse or as they call a stereotypical normal child can start an early intervention. And it's just to, you know, help them develop skills and to be able to get set for like preschool and being around their peers and stuff like that. When I started him in early intervention, um, which is something I started my daughter in as well, and she thrived. She loved to go into the center, and she loved to see the other kids and spend time with the activities. And with him, it was a it was like a pullback, it was a withdrawal. He did not want to go into the center. So in turn, I started having the therapist and stuff come out to the house.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay.

SPEAKER_00:

And um still yet, no diagnosis, no idea on exactly what's wrong with him. This is just a mother's intuition at this point where it's like I know he's not stereotypical. He's not like, you know, my daughter was. It's a different in this motherhood than it was in my previous with my daughter. So it's like, okay, I need to pay attention.

SPEAKER_01:

Um was it any denial phrases like, oh, it's nothing wrong?

SPEAKER_00:

With me, no. No. No. Because I understand that um if you do not pay attention, if you sit in denial, then you rob your child. So the longer that you as the parent sit and say, oh no, that's not that, oh no, that's just him, oh no, that's just, he's just bad, or he's just this, or no, he just don't know how to act and interact with other kids. As long as the longer you're in denial with that, the longer you're robbing your child. Because at the end of the day, we're not saying everyone is normal. Because you are not like I, and we are not like others. You know, so everyone has their difficult and their differences, but the problem with kids on a spectrum is they aren't so different.

SPEAKER_02:

Right.

SPEAKER_00:

You know, and they are trying to communicate with you just like you're communicating with them.

SPEAKER_02:

Right.

SPEAKER_00:

But it's a a uh neurological disconnect from what they're thinking to what they express. May it be physical expression or verbal expression. It's they're trying to do it. You just have to learn them. Everyone wants to live in a world where atypical is normal when it's not. Because if atypical was normal, we wouldn't have sign language. Because you have deaf people. They speak to us just like we speak to them. They understand what we're saying. We can't understand them, so we call them different.

SPEAKER_01:

Right. Would you say because you're in the medical field that has helped you more compared to a a a mother or a woman who is not in the medical field may feel differently.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes, and that was one of the reasons why I wanted to have this conversation with you to let women know, and not just women, let all parents under know that those little subtle signs that you see are little and subtle but important to your child's developmental progress. So with my son, I got him early intervention because I had the mother's intuition, I had the knowledge, I knew that something was different and that he needed a little more than what a regular household could give him. So I pulled people in that can help me to help him.

SPEAKER_02:

Right.

SPEAKER_00:

In turn, it was my son was diagnosed. He was born in 2020. He was diagnosed the end of 2022, I believe. And my son was diagnosed with developmental delay. Developmental delay? Yes. Okay. Um now that falls into ASD. So at one point it was just ASD, I'm sorry. That's the all that's the autism spectrum disorder. So most people say autism. But when you look at autism, most people look at the face of autism and say nonverbal, non-physical, you know, abilities, like, but what they don't understand is autism is part of a big umbrella of different neurological diversities. So you can be considered someone on an ASD spectrum and be look look pretty normal. For instance, uh my son, when he was diagnosed, he is considered a high-functioning autistic kid because all he really has is slight developmental delays. So one of the big problems is when you see my son and you first engage, you know, he's like, oh hi, bro. So instantly, a person's mind will look and be like, oh hey, young boy, what's up? But if you get to talk to him, you wouldn't think right off of hand, oh, it's something wrong with him. If you get to talk to him, you'll know that he's a little different.

SPEAKER_01:

Right.

SPEAKER_00:

You see what I'm saying? You have some people that's on the ASD spectrum that is nonverbal. You know, they are considered level three, level two, you know, they can't speak. But it's not that they can't communicate, they just cannot verbalize what they're trying to say. Right.

SPEAKER_01:

So very intelligent and and just communicates a little bit differently. Absolutely. And how does that uh did it affect your daughter? Did it or did it any how did it, how does the household move now?

SPEAKER_00:

So my household was always raised on love. Yes. So I always raised my daughter to love her brother. You know, I had to, you know, maybe when she was about eight or nine, I had to actually have a conversation with her because we would go out and we would go to the playgrounds and stuff, and she would play with her brother amongst normal, what you call eight stereotypical kids.

SPEAKER_02:

Right.

SPEAKER_00:

And she would come back to me really hurt and upset, like, mom, this little boy was making fun of Axir. This little boy, you know, they were mocking Axir like she didn't really understand, which made me have to sit my eight and nine-year-old down and give her a real talk on real life and how people is in the world, and how not to allow that to affect her, her, her ways, her personality, or her love.

SPEAKER_02:

Right.

SPEAKER_00:

And through that, it she starts to understand her brother more. We don't treat him any different than I treat her or we treat anyone else.

SPEAKER_02:

Right.

SPEAKER_00:

The only thing is we have a little more understanding. So he still plays, he's a typical kid, he likes to wrestle, he likes to jump around, he's hype, you know, but he may be a kid that you have to tell five times instead of one time, no, I don't want to play anymore.

SPEAKER_02:

Right.

SPEAKER_00:

You know, hey, it's quiet time. You know, it's just a little more love and compassion. And that's one thing I want to get across to everyone is that no matter if they are stage three, stage one, if they're just developmental delay, if they are nonverbal, if they are verbal, all of these kids are normal. What we need to learn how to do as a society is normalize uniqueness. Because just because that kid does not talk to you does not mean that kid is not normal like you are. Because in another aspect, as they say, when one sense goes, another sense gets stronger. Stronger, yes. So a lot of someone that's blind. Right. Yes, yes. So a lot of these kids are very smart. So back in the day, I don't know if a lot of people noticed, but Asperger's, which is something that Albert Einstein and all of them people were diagnosed with because they have high IQs. That is a part of the ASD spectrum. Because you can't tell a person that's a genius that they're normal. They look at them like they're abnormal as well. So you tell me if you have a scale and you have people that are geniuses and people that can't talk, how can you tell me that these people's brain is not thinking the same thing that these people's brain is? It is. The difference is you as a person didn't open up your brain enough to be able to understand their language and how they communicate. They all communicate in amazing ways and they're very, very smart. Once you open up and come out of that atypical shell of what everyone thinks of a mother or a child or should be or should act like yes. Once you come out of that, yeah, you'll understand that the world is filled with a bunch of unique people. Unique, beautiful people.

SPEAKER_01:

And we should have learned to accept that everybody for who it is. And I think that that's one of the things that I would that that's talking about the breaking cycles, building legacies, like everybody should come together and write, like I love the word you use, uniqueness. Because just because somebody is this way and somebody is that way, what difference does it make? Why do you have to belittle that person or that whatever it is?

SPEAKER_00:

And the big thing is is education. Education. You know, education. They say each one teach one.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes.

SPEAKER_00:

They say every day is a day to learn something new. Yes. So if me as a mother, as a first-time mom, I had a child that they considered atypical, almost a genius. The kid was very smart. She's 11 years old and she's a author. I have a very smart kid. She writes books. She has a book, yes. Oh. She has a book. It's called The Last Generation. The Last Generation by Mykenzie Perry.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh wow. Is it out?

SPEAKER_00:

It is. It's available on Amazon. Let them know. Yes. It's available on Amazon and it's available on Barnes and Noble. You can get it, um, I think it's Kindle. You can get it on the Kindle, and you can also order a paperbook copy.

SPEAKER_01:

And what's the name of the book on my book?

SPEAKER_00:

The name of the book is The Last Generation by Mikeinzie Perry. Her name is spelled M-Y-K-E-N-Z-I-E. Last name is Perry. She's a very bright and intelligent 11-year-old young lady that wrote this book starting at the age of nine and finished it by 10. So definitely check out her book. But to have a child that's like that, and then turn around and have a child where I'm basically learning how to be a mom all over again. What I thought a mom, how a mom is supposed to raise a kid, how a kid is supposed to in turn react and behave and their actions, it was all new all over again because now I have a kid that is trying to talk to me, trying to express itself to me, and verbally can't. So I became my son's voice. I became my son's voice so much so that I became his speech therapist. I became his occupational therapist with no degrees. I did my research, my footwork, and I spent the time, the blood, sweat, and tears. And I want to let every parent out here that is dealing with a kid on any broadband of the spectrum, I want to let them know. To be your child's voice. Yes, we have a system out here that is starting to fix itself to become autism ready, ASD ready, and equipped for our children. But ultimately, we are our kids' voices. And I learned that because I gave my son more therapy than any of the services he has received. Like I said, he was diagnosed by right before he turned three.

SPEAKER_02:

Okay.

SPEAKER_00:

So then he went into the state services because now he has this diagnosis that puts him on a spectrum. But even in that world, the the world and the the idea of autism and ASD is still so widely unknown that they don't really even know how to deal with all the kids. Because everybody looks at this atypical face of autism. But then when you get a kid that's verbal, you know, that just needs to be redirected because their mind don't understand that, hey, I'm not supposed to do this, you know. They need more guidance than a typical kid. When you get people like that, you know, the system itself don't even understand. They don't really know how to help your child. And if you don't become your child's voice, they don't know what to do to help you. The next thing is a lot of women that have kids on a spectrum, we get to a point to after we get diagnosed, you know, they want to dig a little more and try to figure out some things. They ask you if you would like to, you know, figure out a little more, go a little deeper into this diagnosis for your child, where you can go and get genetic tests done. And a lot of the burden, a lot of the fear, a lot of the anxiety and sleepless nights coming when you get those test results. Because yeah, you can have some a doctor say, Hey, your child's on the spectrum, your child's autistic. Oh, your child, they're nonverbal at the moment. But that's just someone telling you that, you know, that's just like the doctor telling you, hey, you have a cold. You know. Right. It's up to you to figure out how to get rid of that culture to make yourself better.

SPEAKER_01:

And so going into 2026, when we talk about here on the show, we talk about the big take back, right? The big take back is talking about taking back your power, your control, and your knowledge, educating yourself on things that you don't. So coming into the new year, what is the biggest thing that you say? That what is the next step? What is the next level for you to educate people?

SPEAKER_00:

I wholeheartedly just want people to understand that autism, AD, ASD, all of these different names and acronyms they have to label our children is not a death sentence.

SPEAKER_01:

There you go.

SPEAKER_00:

It's not a death sentence.

SPEAKER_01:

That's that.

SPEAKER_00:

And just because your child is not talking now, do not give up on them. Because they're not verbally talking, but they are talking to you. And it's days where you think I failed as a parent. Do not. Do not. Because parenthood does not have a manual. When we had these kids, these kids did not come out with blueprints where we can go back and look at, well, I assembled this wrong. Let me take this piece out. And that's not something that's that's doable for us. We have to learn to love our children. Love on our children. And educate yourself about what about what is wrong with your child. Yes. Because you are your child's voice. You are your child's first defense. You are everything that your child needs, you have to become that. And it's very hard. I'm in therapy. I talk to a therapist. I have a psychiatrist. Because to deal with something like this, then when you go through getting genetic testing done and they give you those results, and they are a little more definite answers, but even more scarier because when you get those results, you may get a result that says, your child will never talk again. And then you go through a real bad phase. You blame yourself. You go through self-reflection, you go through denial, you go through hate, you go through depression. It's it's you go through a lot. A lot of people don't know how to handle that because they have not yet opened their mind to understand that just because this baby does not talk does not mean that my baby is not perfect. That's right. That's right.

SPEAKER_01:

That is right.

SPEAKER_00:

You have people that are considered on the ASD spectrum that are geniuses. That's true. You have people that are nonverbal, that are making a change in the world. Because non-verbal means don't mean that they're mute. They just don't articulate full words or full sentences. But with that help, if you help yourself, you can help your child. And with that help, your child can progress. It may they may not be like the next door neighbor's child. Right. They may not be like that kid that's in the store. Right. But what what you don't understand is you don't know what's behind their home doors either. You don't know what they're facing. You have people like me and the community that my son belongs to, that we face a lot of challenges. But our challenges is no different than a person with an atypical child that doesn't listen. Now, I have a child that doesn't listen because his neurological receptors does not ward him to understand what I'm saying. You have a child that does not have this neurological problem, that just doesn't listen to you. But how do you really know that they don't have that problem if you never actually set and paid attention to your child? Because every behavior is a form of communication. So even with these atypical kids, that they say, oh, she's just bad. She likes to have temper tantrums. Oh, she falls out and I let her. She's doing it for a reason. Or he's doing it for a reason. And you don't understand that. You're just saying, oh, they just bad, but they're not. Because if you really was to communicate with that kid, they would never fall out. Because kids only want to be heard. They get just as frustrated as us adults.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes. So let me ask you this, Justine. What what uh what are some of the um avenues, where can people go to get educated?

SPEAKER_00:

Um, I tell anyone that is on the spectrum or off the spectrum, just like everyone goes to YouTube and everywhere else to go and fit find these videos to see these new dances and trends. Oh, yeah, go and actually educate yourself on something that matters. Because it may not be you or your household that has a child that's on the spectrum. It may be your friend, it may be your sister, it may be your cousin, but if you educate yourself, you don't know how much stress and relief you take off of your cousin or your sister or your friend now because they feel like somebody understands me. Because it's all new to us, too.

SPEAKER_02:

That's right.

SPEAKER_00:

So if it's new to us, then why not find a way to help and support? Teach your kids. Yeah. That's that's one of my main teacher kids. They're coming out with autism shows now, shows with autism kids in it. Go and Google them. Right. Go and YouTube them. Educate yourself so that you can educate your kids because your kids are the ones that's in the schools with these kids. Just because they're autistic does not mean that they're not going to be in a normal school with your child. And it makes it hard for parents like us to that know that we have kids that have differences and they go to school and they're picked on and they're bullied and they're talked down upon, or they're just neglected in all. Because if you're not the voice, if you don't have a diagnosis by the time your child hits kindergarten, they don't know to diagnose your child until your child goes almost a half of a school year with corrective problems, problems that need to be corrected, behavioral problems, educational problems, intellectual problems that needs to be corrected or redirected, and they're already behind. So you already put an impression on your child because you denied them, you sent them in the world that is cruel. The world is cruel.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

We can't say that everybody is gonna go out and educate themselves and educate their child. Because some people don't believe in these diagnoses at all.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

You know what I'm saying? So we can't say that, but what we can do is prepare our children. If you know your child is a little different, then prepare your child. Because you were a child, you know how cool children can be. Prepare your child.

SPEAKER_01:

So we we what is the legacy? So we talk about breaking cycles, building legacies. What legacy would you like for your son? I would love your children.

SPEAKER_00:

I would love for their children. For my son, for one, my son has a genetic diagnosis that's very rare. Um, something that the doctors really don't have too much information on. Um it's kind of a it's it's kind of a here he is now.

SPEAKER_01:

You want to bring him up?

SPEAKER_00:

X here, come here, X here. Come here. Come here, X here. What's wrong, dear?

SPEAKER_01:

Beautiful.

SPEAKER_00:

Uh, I just got hit with a boom. Okay.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh my goodness.

SPEAKER_00:

Are you okay? All right, where are you getting hit at? In your face? You want me to kiss it?

SPEAKER_01:

Well, look, that's that's what we have because say hi, Xair. Say hi. I love it. I love it. So here on Be3. We're talking about breaking cycles and building legacies. And yes, yeah, I pray for you and your family. Um, and I'm I pray that everybody who watches this gets that education on how to deal and function.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes. I can say this. As you see, he looks atypical. He plays, he's healthy, he's vibrant, but he's also a kid with A on the ASP spectrum. And every day I just give him love. Love. Love. And that is my ultimate goal for everyone to just spread love because love breaks barriers, loves breaks generous real curses, and love. It grows up beautiful, beautiful beings, regardless on what their inabilities are. So love on your kids.

SPEAKER_01:

And that's what we say. Burn, break it, and become unstoppable. Thank you, Jesse. Thank you, Xiao. Can I have a hug? Give Abrea a hug. Thank you guys for joining the show. We'll talk to you soon. Say bye.