Burn-Break&Become Unstoppable B3u

From Setback To Self-Mastery

• Bree Charles • Season 1 • Episode 3

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A candid story of one mistake, the mental spiral that followed, and the steady climb back through self-development, small business, and a healthier work-life balance. We reflect on shrinking ourselves, raising standards for our kids, and choosing courage over labels.

• early arrest for selling drugs and the shock of consequences
• stigma, probation and the invisible weight of a record
• rebuilding through reading, college and high standards
• launching a low-cost cleaning business to beat rejection
• shifting into trucking, then choosing local for family time
• mindset as the real disability and how to reset it
• environment, choice and finding purpose across paths
• parenting with standards, networks and earned opportunity
• practical steps for expungement, skills and starting small
• faith, work and refusing to shrink your future

Do the work. Faith without work is dead.


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SPEAKER_00:

Welcome everybody. Welcome back. All my listeners and my viewers to B3U. And today we have the opportunity to interview with my brother, my baby brother, Lance Williams. Everybody, welcome him to the show. So, Lance, let's get right into it. What are you doing right now today? What are you up to in these days?

SPEAKER_02:

Right now, I would say that I'm in transition from, let's just say, for the past, you know, let's just go over the past 10 years. So, like for seven years, I was had my own trucking company. I was driving, but then I started a family, had my first kid, and I didn't want to be away. So that I tried to uh I'll answer these in later things, but I just didn't want to be away from the family. And so I transitioned to see what I can do uh locally outside of trucking that would be able to you know support my family and give me that life, the work life balance that I was looking for. And my family wanted it as well. But um I did I did a couple of things. We'll get into that later, probably, but I did a couple of things as far as like different uh industries and stuff like that. But ultimately I landed right back into a local trucking job just as an employee this time, which gives me excellent work-life balance. So that's kind of where I'm at right now.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay, awesome, awesome. Always doing great things. Uh just awesome, of course, because he's my brother. Y'all know I'm gonna say that he's awesome, right? But he really is. So we, you know, B3U, as we all know, we come and we we share what uh trauma or what uh trial or tribulation we have experienced. So, Lance, I'm gonna start and asking you what is a story that you would love to share in order that somebody can relate to and possibly help them out?

SPEAKER_02:

Absolutely. So back in around maybe about 2006, 2007, 2008, somewhere around there, uh, I got in trouble for uh I got in trouble for selling what is uh uh uncontrolled substance or controlled substance, whatever they want to name it as. And um, that's the first time that I've ever gotten in trouble with anything. Like if anybody knew me, I would probably be the last person they would think uh would do something like that. But in my mind, while I was doing that, it's not what you see on TV or anything like that. It's just like I didn't even think, you know, people standing on the corners with guns and all this other stuff. No, I'm in my house watching home alone too, or just watching TV or playing video games, just playing with my friends, and if someone called me, I'd go out there, make the sale, whatever, like that, and then I just, you know, back to my regular life. I was just thinking of, you know, just the money aspect of it. It's like, you know, everybody wants to make money. You know, I don't think that's not the right way to do it, because there's other ways you can do it. It's slower, but it's it's more rewarding and it's it's less trouble that way. But you know, I was just thinking about, okay, I'm gonna just make this is how I'm just gonna make a little bit of extra money because I've seen people I've known we're making money, living a certain lifestyle, things like that. I didn't necessarily want to take it to that extreme, but I just wanted to have a little bit of uh money in my pocket.

SPEAKER_00:

That's all money in your pocket. Yeah, I'm not thinking about how old were you at this at this time?

SPEAKER_02:

Uh that was about almost 20 years ago. So I was probably like the early 20s, like 21.

SPEAKER_00:

21. So you know that's that's a relatable thing because you know, most of our young people out here, what what's the first thing they want to do, right? They want to make the quick money.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

So that's that's what it was for you.

SPEAKER_02:

Uh-huh.

unknown:

Okay.

SPEAKER_02:

And go ahead. Well, yeah, so that happened. Like I said, I've never been in trouble before. And you don't you ever see one of the movies where like when I got I got I got processed, I've got taken to the local county, and that whole time, you ever I kind of it was kind of like a uh a surreal experience in the sense that you ever see one of them movies where the person is just like like frozen or in a trance and everything is moving around them. I was kind of like in that day, just thinking about life in general, like my not my life flashing before my eyes, like I'm about to die, but just you know, what did I get myself into? What does this mean? Like I didn't know the severity of you know what just happened. Like, you know, people can take your away your life for five to ten years or whatever the case may be, whatever they whatever the sentence is. But luckily I was my first time ever doing anything, and then they just got you know, probation, uh, community service, things like that. But like I said, that was took a a huge mental toll on me as a person and just like my confidence level, and you know, when you get records and things like that, you start reading up on stuff and stuff, and you can't get a job, you can't get an apartment, you can't do anything. So it's like like is you know, is my life over? So that that just started me making different certain decisions in my life or just holding back my full potential as a person because I think like, you know, I'm gonna try this, I'm gonna put all this effort and work into it, and in the end, I'm just gonna get rejected anyway. So it's like it kind of stopped me from reaching my full potential at that point.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, were you in like a certain like a depression phase going through everything?

SPEAKER_02:

Uh I I I wouldn't say uh depression like that. I would just say like, you know, I had my moments where I just felt like, you know, what you know, what am I gonna become? And and then things like that, like as far as like uh you know, you you do feel down, so you feel like a depression state, but I wasn't in like a deep dive and feel like I couldn't do anything. I just felt like the person who I wanted to become, I felt like I couldn't become that because of my record.

SPEAKER_00:

So and what was so what was the tell how long were you um were you incarcerated for it or you just got charged?

SPEAKER_02:

No, so that day they uh they processed me, they took me to the county, um, probably arrived there at 3 or 4 p.m. and I was out the next morning, and then I just had to show up to court and they probation, uh community service and things like that. So I I want to say I spent like maybe 12 hours and then in the county, but that was about it.

SPEAKER_00:

But it just was uh like an eye-opener, a life changer.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, because one one minute you're you know you're able to drive and do whatever you want, go where you want, and then the other minute you're you're just in a place with people that that is is nothing like you. Uh not to say uh I think I'm better than anybody, but like just the the how I grew up, where I grew up, the person I am, even at that time, even doing that stuff, like I said, I said it's not I was just is uh I feel like I was just a regular person just trying to make money. I wasn't thinking about what that those substances could do to uh the people who are taking them or their families or anything like that. I'm just thinking it's just a paycheck for me at the day. But it's just like, okay, now in a uh county, um people are coming in all drugged out and overdose and you know, with wild crazy stuff.

SPEAKER_00:

And I'm like, wow, I just you know, where like looking around, that's kind of like I I could relate to that because the military experience, I just wanted to get away, I wanted to do better for myself, I just wanted to make some good money, and you know, I was like, I'm going in the moment, you know, you know, and I was going to week they told me, you can you can try to do better, and I was like, No, no, no, I'm trying to get out of the building. I've never been out of the city of Philadelphia. And then I get to um Fort Jackson, relaxing Jackson, we call it and I'm like yelling at me, like, why are you yelling at me? You can just tell me to run up the hill. I'll run up the hill and you ain't gonna spit my face and yell at me and make me do it. So I'm not saying totally what you're saying. It was just a moment for you. What I'm hearing you say was like, what the hell is going on? Because this is not me. Hey, I'm just trying to make a little extra catch. So I I I get that. I get that totally. I get that.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. And it was like at that point, it was a like, it was a that point was a pivotal. I think of like I said, I was about 22, 23, something like that. But um, that was a pivotal point for me in the sense that after that, I was like, wow, this, you know, life is serious. You know, you you kind of take life for granted, you can do this and that. But when something happens like that, it's like, wow, they can, you know, your life can be taken from you. Not in the sense of death, but like, you know, you can be in prison and just, you know, just be in there, and they, you know, everybody has control over what you do, where you go, and X, Y, and Z. But at that moment, I was like, um, I have to, I have to do something that that could possibly override uh the sentence or the felony charge that I got. And so at that point, like I started reading a lot. Like before that time, you know, I graduated, obviously when I high school 18 up until 23. Like, I've never opened up a book or anything like that on my own and tried to read it or anything like that. But at that point, like I just started reading a lot, uh, self-development, and then I rolled back and I rolled back in college, and I was like, I gotta get straight A's. So once I graduate, my I my resume and my grades have to be 10 times better than the next candidate for even to be overlooked. So I won't be overlooked just because of this. I have to be 10 times better. So that kind of started me on like a uh a crazy self-development type of uh journey. Uh kind of which I'm still on today. Like I just never stops. Never stopped improving. Even though my record is expunged now and it publicly is supposed to never be seen by any anything, you still have them thoughts in your mind that, you know, what if they do see it? What if they still can see it or something like that? So sometimes that you know, I have those thoughts when I'm applying for something. And you know, I think anybody listening to this should be, you know, but try to understand that you know, don't, don't limit yourself from, you know, trying to go to the next level just because you you may think that, you know, whoever's looking at you as far as a candidate or anything like that, don't make the decision for them. Like just go through the process and just see what happens. That's all I have to say about that.

SPEAKER_00:

Right. And that's that's pretty that's pretty cool because this aligns with um my topic and kind of what I'm talking about now is how we shrink ourselves. We shrink ourselves to, for whatever reason, to look good to the next person, or we shrink ourselves before we even give ourselves a chance, you know, to say that, you know, this is possible. I do uh know someone who um has a charge and real minor charges, you know, really, really minor, you know. And um I was talking to the young lady and I said, hey, you know, she's like, oh, this is gonna, it was over really, it was like a racist type thing, and because she was protecting herself, um, the person went in press charge. And so the man was like, Oh, you know, I'm never gonna be able to get a job, you know, work from home. And I said, What, you know, why not? You know, you know, these charges are very, they're just charges. They're very minute. Like, don't give up on yourself and look, shrink yourself the same because of what someone else did or what I wasn't thinking. You know, we can be, we can always bounce back. We can always bounce back. God gives us many, many, many, he forgives us, right? So if God can forgive us, why are we so hard on ourselves? Why do we shrink ourselves to try to match up the stuff? And that's a good that's a good point that you said for somebody who went through something or is going through something. Don't don't give up on yourself and don't shrink yourself to match society.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, absolutely. And then, yeah, at that point where I said I went on like that that personal development journey, I went back to college and everything like that. Um so traditionally, I would, or traditionally, someone would graduate college, university, uh, with a bachelor's degree, and then they would do internships, and then they would just try to go work for a corporation or or something like that. But I didn't do that stuff because I didn't do that, because okay, I don't want to get rejected. Nobody likes getting rejected. So I didn't even want to apply. I applied to 10 places, nobody's called me back. Like I did, I just graduated for nothing and everything like that. So I didn't want to, I limited my mindset, so I didn't do that. So what I did was I just started a cleaning business. Because, you know, if you own something, nobody, they're not gonna fire. You can't fire yourself. Right. So I just started I started a cleaning business. I did that for a couple of years. I was still staying at my parents' house, but that's not really what I wanted to do. It's just something that I felt like I can do, it was low cost to entry, you just buy a couple cleaning supplies, you have transportation, and you kind of put yourself out there a little bit. Um, so that's what I did for maybe like three or four years. But again, that's not something I wanted to do. I was just doing it, and I was just doing enough just to uh, you know, be able to uh you know pay my bills and and things like that, cover my expenses.

SPEAKER_00:

But I was like, I was gonna ask you, how how did that work out for you? How did that uh was it a pretty successful business?

SPEAKER_02:

Uh yeah, I mean it worked out um successful. I mean, I didn't scale the business to uh a large amount. Like I had uh I had a couple um, well, I had a fitness center, I had a couple uh medical outpatient offices, uh I had an apartment complex when people move out of going and clean it up like that. But I wasn't really putting myself out there. I did the work initially just to make a certain amount of money um to I got comfortable and be able to pay my expenses and everything like that. So I didn't try to scale to a point where I can live off of it for the rest of my life. Um, but I was still living at uh a mom and dad's house at the time, and I was getting older and still like, is is this is this what I'm gonna do for the rest of my life? So I feel like even though it's my own business is not really what I wanted to do. And so I didn't want to do it anymore. So I started working for I started driving trucks for uh brother-in-law, Angie, uh Vaughn, Angie's uh ex-husband. Yeah, or late ex-husband. And um, you know, I was like, okay, well, this is what I'm gonna do. I'm probably gonna move to in Philly, in Philly somewhere, maybe in some suburb or something like that. And then I started doing that. I met some over-the-road truck drivers who own their own business. Yeah, we make X, Y, and Z a month. I said, Well, let me try that. So that's when I started getting into trucking and did my own trucking business. So if I had not had the felony charge, I would have applied for a company and just went straight into corporate or something like that. Or um Yeah, that that I mean, so when we talk about uh, you know, traumas and how they can affect you and things like that, I think of um, you know, disability. A lot of people, when you say disability, a lot of people think uh some physical limitation, like they're in a wheelchair or or something, or they can't really speak or something along those lines. But I think the biggest disability is is is mental. Like limiting your you never even try something, but you don't believe you can do it. And you know, you just the the way your mindset is, it stops you from doing a lot. And to me, that that's the biggest disability. And so I would just again, I would just encourage anybody to so I you know, how does everybody I think everybody gains their, you know, like in the military, a lot of like PSTD or uh P.

SPEAKER_01:

P T PTSD.

SPEAKER_02:

Yes, yeah, PTSD, yeah, PTSD and they have the trauma and stuff like that. That's real. And how we gain our mindset is from our experiences. And so, like, if you touch a stove and it's hot, you're not gonna touch it again. So, whatever experiences you you have in life, they kind of teach you okay, well, I didn't like this. So, every decision moving forward is going to be based around your experiences. And so, again, uh PTSD in the military, well, you know, the all the crazy stuff that everybody goes through in there, that kind of shapes the way they view the world and how they react and move. And so because experience, because experiences shape the way you think and make decisions, experience uh you have to just I think you just have to get into just have to experience new experiences and things you want to do so that can reshape your mind into you know moving in a different direction. And so that's what that's what I would say. Like if you're having trouble thinking you, you know, fit in here or you don't belong here, just try to create experiences in that area in order to so you can reshape the way your mind works. Like, well, I don't think I belong here, but when I went there, you know, them people uh welcomed me. They were, you know, they was helping me out and things like that. So I I do belong here. So now you start making different decisions. So that that's like kind of the trauma you can have with, you know, whatever you get yourself into.

SPEAKER_00:

Right. And and then life too. Uh we want young people to understand like nobody came into this world and was told you're gonna live a perfect life, you're not gonna have any experiences. I look at all of our experiences, experiences that are bad, like life lessons. That's what they call. Life lessons. Like you said, about touching the stove. Once you touch it, you find out it's not, you don't go that direction again. Unless you're one of them hardhand people, you know, that can't get right, that just you know, continue to keep touching the hot stove. Like, what are you gonna say? And when you get that third degree burn, like, okay, you know, I don't think I'm gonna touch this. You know, but life is all about lessons and chances and choices, okay. We we you having choice to change your mindset, and I'm trying to look at your experience as a good uh um um learning, a real good lesson. Like, man, you could have just learned that lesson or went through that experience and didn't learn anything from it, totally gave up on yourself, totally just said, okay, well, you know what? You know, you could have gotten further in the in into the drug selling. I mean, you could have done anything. Yeah, but you chose your mindset, you know, you had that little fear at one time, one time you showed yourself, but this is all what I'm talking about. Changing your mindset, anybody you know, could have kept. Talking to you, family sisters, and brothers could have kept talking to you. But if you don't have the mindset for change, if you don't have the mindset for choice, then nobody, it doesn't matter what anybody says. And I really commend you for just saying, you know what? Okay, I want to start my own business. And that's good for a lot of people who are out here. Of course, we know that the people of color are the highest people that are incarcerated, right? Some who went through similar experiences like you. And then they don't get, they don't have that courage, that motivation to do that. So I love what we're saying when we say, like, okay, and you would have been in corporate if you went this way and decided to get your you would have been in corporate. But instead, you took that opportunity. And you said, you know what? I'm going to try my own cleaning business. Then you went to your own trucking business. So it is possible. You just have to find out what you're good at. I hear a lot of people say, Well, I don't know what to do. That's what is we talk about having a purpose-driven life. What is your purpose? Some people don't know, especially not 20 years and 20 minutes. You didn't know what you wanted to do. You know, you didn't know, but you made that choice. What gives you what what what besides what gave you besides self? Would you say it was just all you? What gave you that motivation and that empowerment to want better? Upbringing, what was it? Spiritual?

SPEAKER_02:

I would I would think it's I think I would contribute it to environment because it's not I don't think it's necessarily me. I mean, I do have a part individually, but at the same time, you you can't choose who you're born to, you can't choose you know, your the environment you grow up in and things like that. For example, um growing up, there was a there was a kid, his his grandfather was a doctor, his dad was a doctor, and now he's a doctor. I mean, that is that is that really him, or is that just where he was born into? And then, you know, you just kind of follow that's that lifestyle and that those steps. And so I I just think that you know, I was lucky enough to be uh, you know, born to my parents who uh lived in a certain area where, you know, almost zero crime. And I know I I did this in the area, but like there's no crime in it where you already know where we live. There's absolutely pretty much no crime right there around that area. And so it's just like, you know, I grew up in in a decent school systems uh and everything like that. So I just I guess it's reverted back to that. That I mean that's who that's who I kind of was.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, I mean, you it was it was it was a bad experience, it was a bad mistake, which we always make mistakes. Some people are just fortunate enough to be born into money where they can cover up those mistakes. Okay, we didn't have those type of parents, you know, that had money that just could just make everything go away. So you make mistakes. But the thing about mistakes, the good thing that I would say about mistakes is that you can learn from them. We should never continue to beat ourselves up over it. Now, you and I have um two totally we have the we share the same father, we share the same father and we have different mothers. But one thing that I will say about us too, and speaking from getting it from our dad, is you know, we did an interview as you saw, as you all have seen, but our father was always a hustler, period. You know, he always wanted to, whatever he did, he wanted to be the best at it. So I will say, like you said, um, talking about environment. Um, like you said, you grew up in a pretty good environment, you know. Um you you had parents that were working parents, you know, knew the value value of how to make money. So I think we can contribute a little bit of that to say this you we we know what who we want to, we don't know who we want to be, but we know that we want better for ourselves because that's how we was raised to always hear, you know, when we're better for yourself. Like we're gonna look, we're gonna do it how we how we have to.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

That would contribute uh to that. That's you know, for people who don't have that sort of upbringing. Again, I said we live totally different lives. I live with my mother.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

And I will say a lot of things I I wasn't taught. I wasn't taught a lot of things. So for me, I will say the way that I had to learn was just from actually from scratch. My mother, you know, she um she was disabled, so she didn't really work. She was a nurse when I was younger. But um, I watched my grandparents uh work hard. I just knew it was always, you know, then you know, you had dad, daddy, you know, when you see him, it was he was singing, he was a manager, he was a business owner, he was a and then you know, I looked up to my parents. I always knew I wanted to, you know, watch my mom in the medical field, I knew I wanted to help people, watch my dad. I just knew I had some talent somewhere. But you know, it's it's about your environment somewhat, but it's also when I watch people who don't have literally a parent at all. What do we say to them people, you know? And then I watch some of them who grow up and maybe some men are misguided. You know, the first thing they say is I didn't have nobody to teach me that. So what do we say to these people who say that they didn't have the kind of upbringing maybe we had or the role models that we had, you know, because I look at that as like a handicap, like you said, disability. I look at that as a handicap. Just because you didn't have a parent or someone to look up to, what would you say to them?

SPEAKER_02:

I know what I would say, but what you know I I would just I would just say that yes, you um, you know, coming from a two-parent household, and the majority of the neighborhood I grew up in it was like a two-parent household. So, like, you know, every friend I had pretty much had two parents their whole life, and their parents are still together to this day. And if it was I have a friend who you know grew up in a one-parent household, but that's only because his uh dad passed away. And so yes, your parents I I don't people shouldn't think of that as a handicap. I didn't have parents, I didn't have anybody, X, Y, and Z. But the reality is Yes, you're in the house with your parents, but you're more in the world. Like you're um, you know, kids are in school eight, ten hours. So you're more with outside, you're you're more with outside influences more than you are with your parents. Your parents really, you know, you wake up, you go to school, you're at school all day, you come home, one of your parents still might be working, so you just eat dinner and just run outside and you're playing with your neighbors and stuff like that. So, yes, your parents are there and they they they serve as a guidance, but for the most part, you're getting your influence from the outside world more than the in the inside world. So I would just say don't let just because you don't have uh you know parents or a guardianship or your parents, whoever your guardians are, mentoring you're in things like that, it doesn't mean that you can't become something. You just gotta focus, I would say focus more on the outside influences because that's too, you know, the television, the uh the internet these days the television, the internet, the school frames here, you're you know, all that is gonna be a more influence than your parents are.

SPEAKER_00:

That's that is so it again, again, you're you're hitting it right on the nose because again, you grew up in a two-parent household. I grew up in a single-parent household. But the streets, now I grew up in I grew up in West Philly, okay. I grew up in West Philly, and it was either crime, drugs, you know, I I I was on the street corner, y'all. I was on the street corner, okay. I was the kid out there, you know, um, you know, ran away from home at one time because my mother was just, you know, mothering. And it was like, you know, oh gosh, you know, this is, you know, I want to do, I want to be a little bit more freer. So, you know, again, make a mistake out there on the corners selling drugs, you know what I'm saying? But it has to be something with again, I I could have lived a whole total different life. But I just knew that I this is not what I want to do. This, this is this is not it. Being in the project, standing on a corner, selling drugs, like, you know, I always knew that I wanted more. So that's what I mean, you know, even though we share the same father, we grew up in two total different, we're both successful people right now. And for me, it was a little bit harder because I had to go through a little bit of the hard road because I didn't, you know, I didn't have too much. Yeah, but I looked at it like, look, um, this is what I don't want. And I look, I I don't want to grow, I don't want to grow up and be and raise children and poverty level.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes.

SPEAKER_00:

I want my children to have reason when I joined the military at you know, at an older age at 30, I just never gave up on myself. So that's what I would say to young people is never give up on yourself, regardless of your environment. Don't let your environment good or you know, you know, well, if it's good, of course, you want to take that, but um not so successful or good environment. It's all about choice. What do you see yourself? You saw yourself in a different light. So therefore, you ain't got it. You could have you you had doubts about certain things, but you opened other windows, you opened other doors, you opened other mindsets for yourself, and that's what we want to tell our young people to open up different avenues in your mind, because it all starts like about we can say environment, but if your environment is you're growing up in a hood, you know, or you know, you're growing up in a place where like you've been, yeah, you have to, it's all about choice. It's all about choice. That's that's one thing I would say.

SPEAKER_02:

Um yeah, and I would say nobody's better than other because you know, people who grow up in a rich neighborhoods, they have they got their drug issues and stuff too, but you just don't think it's like that because that's all the houses are nice and the neighborhoods are nice, but some people in there doing all types of stuff and things like that too.

SPEAKER_00:

So all types, they just some people are able to hide just for a little bit. After a while, it it shows. It shows. But yet, like you said, no one person is better than the next. It's all about who you are, or and you have sometimes we have to find out who are we, who do we want to be? Yeah, would you agree with that? Would you say that?

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, yeah. Find out who you want to be. Like you said, you know, I'm 41 right now, and I still don't know exactly who I want to be. I mean, you have grow up, you have a whole bunch of interests. Obviously, you can't do them all, and you don't want to put yourself, well, I like these 10 things, I'm just only going to do this one thing. So it's kind of hard, and I think that's what's wrong with like society. We ask kids at kindergarten first year, what do you want to be when you grow up like this? How can somebody just pinpoint exactly what they're gonna be? Even at any age for that matter, what's the answer they always give? Doctors, police, yeah, stuff like that. Right. And even at my age right now, or any age like 20s, 30s, you just gotta find something you like and you know, just and and just go in that direction. I don't think you should just kind of your whole make your whole personality, your character uh a specific job title anyway. You know, it's just you know, society makes you think you don't have your life together if you're not like I'm a I am an electrician, I am a doctor. Like they try to make you say that you're something and just live that type of lifestyle. But no, you are a person who likes multiple things, just find something that can get you the lifestyle that that you want.

SPEAKER_00:

And master it, master it, you know. But uh, I think that today's generation is so lazy minded. Uh, they relax mind, lazy mind, however, you want. I'm trying to be nice, but just from what I see, they just want to sit and it should come to me. It should fall. Our ancestors worked, and that's the that's that's kind of the thing that disappoints me too. Our ancestors worked hard, hard to get some of us where we are today. And some of us just don't want to take that hard work um and and make things happen and think just a little bit more outside the box, you know, and like me and you, and which I'm sure you have two beautiful boys, a beautiful wife. And I'm sure that you're bringing your boys up in a different way than what you were raised. Like for my children, I know that I'm bringing them up in a different way than I was raised. Because now when my children came into, they didn't really, you know, I paved the way, you know, by going into the military. So now they're paid, they, you know, they, I would say my children, they do pretty good for themselves, you know. Um, they have a standard of where they want to live, how they want to raise their children. And then when I look at my grandchildren, it's like, yeah, they're spoiled. They're spoiled. Like I refuse. Like I just had two grandchildren that ran away from home because their mother was like, you know, no, you're not gonna have that, you're not gonna do that until you do better. And I even say that all the things that I'm creating, generational wealth, I will not give you anything just as a handout. You know, they they expect some kids when you so it's like it has to be a balance when we're raising children, you know, because you don't want to roll. I um I think Shaquille O'Neill, um, I had read, or it was an interview, he said that he wasn't giving his children nothing for free. Like they had to earn at least have a degree or something under their belt. And I I respect that. I respect that uh wholeheartedly. Um and like I was saying, I'm sure that you're raising your boys in a in a different way or in the same way. How are you raising your voice today? Let me ask that question. What do you want your sons to know?

SPEAKER_02:

Well, I just like uh, you know, like I heard that Shaquille O'Neal thing as well before, and I think that um that's extremely important because I think I heard some statistics or something along the lines of after the third generation, like all the the generational wealth that was passed down, the houses, the money, whatever, things like it's gone. So I I think it's more important to pass down a certain standard and a certain like a certain standard of of living. Um so that whoever, you know, like if if Shaq just, if if Shaquille O'Neill just passed all his bits and all his money to his kids and they didn't, you know, they didn't do anything, like they're just gonna spend it up and you know somebody's gonna find a way to get all that money from them, buy this, buy that, and this and this and this and that. But for my boy, I'm trying to become the best version of myself or live a life that I would like to live a life or uh live a life that you know my kids, I would be happy that my kids became out just like me. Um so I'm just I'm just gonna I'm trying to create like in the the environment for them, a certain standard, like uh wherever you grew up, I think like uh you either want to maintain that or you want to go higher. So I'm trying to create a lifestyle to where like my kids, okay, well the bottom standard is what we, you know, how they grew up, but they want to go above that. Um so yeah, just basically just a mindset of, you know, you gotta work hard, you gotta sacrifice. I'm trying to get in the right networking circle so that they can. That's why this is kind of a little bit off a little bit, but this is kind of why like uh people with money send their kids to private school, not because the education is necessarily better or anything like that, but like who are the who are the other kids and their parents, like uh business owners, entrepreneurs, doctors, lawyers, and stuff like that. So like your kids are growing up with other kids who who have a different mindset and a different network. So you just try to give your kids the mindset and a certain standard to live by so that when you're gone that they can, you know, you you want them to live uh better than you, your your learning.

SPEAKER_00:

Right. And what would you say about uh what would you say to your boys about mistakes?

SPEAKER_02:

I I it's okay it's okay. I mean, it's okay to make mistakes, obviously, because every I believe everybody, I don't care who you are from the presidents to the governor, whoever everybody's always done something that was illegal. Some form some people get caught, some people don't, or some people do get caught and they have a way to work themselves out of it. Um I would just say, you know, it's okay to make mistakes because you're gonna make them anyway, but you know, I'm gonna try to keep them away from the the harsh mistakes that can, you know, kind of ruin your life as far as like the people who do get caught and go to a jail for 10, 15, 20 or life or something like that. Um I'm gonna try to miss mistakes. Let me let's clarify mistakes in which way?

SPEAKER_00:

Like anything in life or just well, any well, anything in life. Well, let's let's say on uh let's say on two, well, it could be any mistake, but you know what your mistake was you know um selling drugs. Yeah, you know, what would you say to somebody uh to uh a person who's going through that same situation or you know, or any mistake?

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, I mean if it's something like that I did and when you have a record or something like that, it's it's not the end of the world, it'd possibly get expunged. And if not, you're just going to at the end of the day, nobody owes you anything. Nobody owes you a job. They don't have to hire you for anything. So, like if you're in a situation where you can't get a job because of your record for whatever reason, and it can't, you're you have a record that can't be expunged. I mean, you're just gonna have to, you know, pull yourself up by the bootstraps, network, self develop, and then uh, you know, start a business. Again, I started a cleaning business. How much does that really take? Probably like$200 to register. The business name and go to Walmart or whatever store and buy a few cleaning supplies and get little jobs here and there. Next thing you know, you get word of mouth referrals and you're and you're growing from there. So I mean that might not be what you want to do, but at least it's it's something to get you started and confident and doing something until you find something else. And that's kind of how I looked at it. So like there's always businesses you can start with little to no money and you know earn money for yourself. So I would say it's not the end of the world. Uh we live in America, there's uh there's opportunity everywhere. This uh having a record is not a death sentence. You can make your way out of it. It's gonna have to be independent. You can't rely on somebody to give you a job and give you a uh pay every week, but it can be done. Yeah, sometimes you gotta do uh in the trucking industry. There's a lot of people who have uh records and they go into trucking. It's not the ideal lifestyle, but it pays really well. But sometimes a lot of people don't want to do it. They're like, I can't find a job, or the job I have doesn't pay enough. The thing is, like you were talking about, sometimes people just don't want to do what has to be done. They don't want to, they don't want to sacrifice. I mean, nobody's telling you to be a truck driver or anything that you don't want to do for 20, 30 years. Just just get in somewhere, get your foot in the door, get your get experience, and then you know, just move on from that while you try to transition into the next thing that you really want to do.

SPEAKER_00:

And that's great. That's great, that's a great word uh right there, uh, Lance. It's all about determination, not giving up, changing your mindset. And that's that is exactly what we talk about here on B3U. And uh, my brother, I appreciate you uh coming on and being transparent and sharing your story and showing people, young people, especially, that you know it's not too late. Don't give up. You know, again, society can teach you that it's over, but you'll never know until you try. If you don't try and you just put it out in the atmosphere that it's not gonna happen, you're already defeating and you're already shrinking yourself to match what statistics say or what somebody told you. Um in the military, we call them barracks lawyers. You know, you have to stop listening to the barracks lawyers, you have to research for yourself, do the work, do the work. You have to do the work. And I will say, for me, most of my things has been very spiritual. I lean on God, I was raised in the church. I I, you know, uh I am a believer and I do know for a fact that the Bible is correct when they say faith without work is dead. You can't just wish for it and then don't put no work behind it. Um, so I can I commend you, and you're my brother, and I love you. I'm proud of everything that you have done and are doing, and I can't wait um to see what's next. You know, um I want to um say one more thing because you know you have a niece that loves you. She you're like on this high pedestal to her because you taught yourself Japanese, am I correct? Yes, you taught yourself Japanese, and she was doing that same thing. So a man, uh you're you're a man who has a determining determination, like a spirit, a willing spirit. And that's what I love most about our family, the Williams family. We are some determined jokers. We are determined. And that's what whether you have it in your family or you don't have it in your family, determination is key. Determination is key.

SPEAKER_02:

So that was it. Go ahead. You know, and I'm gonna say one last thing. Because you said uh the barracks lawyers and don't listen to uh people do the research yourself. I would say um even don't even I mean, don't even get discouraged from what you find on Google and all these forums and everything like that. Because everything that I've read when I had a when I had a record that wasn't expunged, oh I couldn't go, I couldn't do this, I couldn't do that. So everything that I read, it almost makes you still want to give up because everything is saying like you can't do it. But everything you said I couldn't do, I I've done it. But you no truck company is gonna hire you. I've worked, I had my own trucking company, I've worked for trucking companies, uh, probably like three or four of them. So like if I just looked on Google and saw, like, oh no, you you're you're done, then that was it. No, there's always somebody out there that'll give you a chance. You just gotta, like you said, have the determination and willingness to continue to look for the opportunities.

SPEAKER_00:

And that's so true. Well, thank you, uh Lance Williams, my brother, my baby brother. I thank you for coming on and sharing your transparency. I look forward to you coming back and sharing maybe something else that could help someone else on whatever is next. And I thank my viewers for coming and sharing this time with Mr. Lance Williams and your host Recharles. We'll see you guys again.