A Year and 20 Days: Motherhood in the Fast Lane. Interview with Author Dr Geneda Kearney

What happens when grief and new life arrive in the same breath? We sit down with Dr. Geneda Kearney, author of A Year and 20 Days: Motherhood in the Fast Lane, to trace the raw, unfiltered path from losing her mother to welcoming two babies in rapid succession—and the quiet battles that followed. This is a story of denial giving way to honesty, isolation yielding to community, and stigma being replaced by informed care.

Geneda opens up about postpartum depression hitting hard with both children, and how the “pray it away” narrative left her struggling in silence. She honors the role of faith while making a clear case for therapy, practical tools, and safe spaces—especially in Black communities where mental health conversations have long been hushed. We talk grief and identity, and the moment she decided to keep moving: finishing a church fast while sick with pneumonia, listening to conviction, and saying yes to writing a book that could meet people where they are.

We also explore the meaning behind “20 days” as a symbol of redemption. Nothing is wasted, she says—not the sleepless nights, not the heartbreak, not the doubt. Geneda shares the habits that helped her rebuild: setting boundaries, carving time for herself beyond roles, and learning to be proud of progress even when it’s imperfect. The message is universal and inclusive—men, partners, and anyone navigating loss or transition will hear both validation and a plan forward. If you’re searching for guidance on postpartum depression, maternal mental health, grief recovery, or finding purpose under pressure, this conversation is your on-ramp.

Subscribe for more conversations that trade clichés for clarity. If the episode resonates, share it with someone who needs a reminder that they are enough, leave a review to help others find us, and join us next time as we keep taking our power back together.

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Transcript

Meet Dr. Janita Kearney

SPEAKER_00 0:11

Okay, welcome, welcome, welcome everybody. Welcome to Before You. I'm your girl Brie Charles, and today we are here with Dr. Janita Kearney. Did I say that correct? Yes. Okay. She is the author of A Year and 20 Days, Motherhood in the Fast Lane. So we know how in today's world, sometimes life happens so fast, faster than what we're prepared for. So with that being said, when trauma and responsibility and pressure collide, power can feel like it's lost. But Dr. Janita has written a book to kind of guide us through that. So Dr. Janita, tell us a little bit about motherhood and a year and 20 days of motherhood in the fast lane.

SPEAKER_02 1:00

Well, thank you for having me, first of all.

Grief Collides With New Motherhood

SPEAKER_02 1:03

So I did write my first book, A Year and 20 Days, Motherhood in the Fast Lane. And what that encompasses is my experience of first going through the process of grieving my mother and becoming a mom while not having my mother. And that was really big for me. That was a really big part of my pregnancy and motherhood itself. And then dealing with postpartum and not even really getting to go through postpartum because I was, I found out I was pregnant again when I was, when my son was three months old. And so then navigating that world of, okay, I have a three-month-old and I'm pregnant again. How am I going to do this? Like, how is this even possible? Like, how am I going to make it through this? And just dealing with grief and lost and postpartum and trying to figure out my identity and just the chaos of mentally everything that was going through my mind and that I was experiencing through this journey. Um and having a point where I was just like, I don't know if I can do this. Um, however, I found within that that God was there the entire time and he was the one that was guiding me. And when I felt like I had no strength, it was him and his strength that was where I was able to push forward and to move on and to make it out of this.

SPEAKER_00 2:36

Okay, so would you say that's what inspired you to write

Pneumonia, Fasting, And The Book’s Call

SPEAKER_00 2:39

this book?

SPEAKER_02 2:39

So actually, what inspired me, I got sick with pneumonia. Um, and in the midst of finding out I was sick, I was doing a fast with my church. And so I found out that I had pneumonia and I was like, okay, I can stop the fast or I can continue. And I was like, I really want to push through with the fast. And so I finished the fast. And after the fast, I had like this serious conviction that did not feel good, but God like really called me out on some things that I really needed to work on. Um, and after praying and you know, dealing with my conviction and really like internally reflecting came the vision to write this book.

SPEAKER_01 3:25

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 3:25

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 3:26

Good stuff. Oh, awesome. So you described the book as for mom surviving silent battles. Uh, can you share what some of those silent battles were for you and why did you feel compelled to

Naming The Silent Battles

SPEAKER_00 3:43

share them in your book?

SPEAKER_02 3:45

Okay, so I'll say first I'm gonna work backward. I did not feel comfortable sharing them. Um, that was literally God, like you asked me to use you. You say you want me to use you. This is how I need you. Like, this is this is your work, this is how you are going to serve me. And so me sharing that was obedience, a yes and an amen, and stepping out of my comfort zone and worrying about what people would say about me, what they would think, like a perspective they would have, this image of me having it all together. It that goes to the wayside. And it was literally obedience. The the yes, I'm going to do it and share it. Um, and then silent battles that um come up have come up or came up in my book. Um, it goes back to losing my mom, the grief and not even knowing how to deal with that. Um, for the longest time I was in denial. And this is something that I did not talk much about um publicly, but I've started to talk about it more with women that have read my book and are like, oh my gosh, like I lost someone close to me and you talked about this. Like, and so um the denial of for the first two years, I literally was telling people that my mom was on vacation and I just couldn't talk to her. And so in my mind, I knew that she had passed away. I could not accept it. Like to me, she was just gone and I couldn't talk to her. And that was that. And that's just something that you know a lot of people go through, a lot of people don't talk about. Um, but it was real for me. And so I really had to come to terms with the fact that she is gone. Like, you can't talk to her, you will not see her. So now, what are you gonna do to work past this? Because you cannot be stuck in this. Like, I was not my best self being stuck in the denial. Um, another silent battle is just postpartum depression. Um, that hit me hard with both of my children. And I didn't know growing up, you hear a lot of like pray, pray it away, but it's deeper than that. Like, yes, prayer for me is important. That's a huge part of my faith. But also, I had to do therapy. I had to talk about it. I had to talk about stigmas, not just with women, but specifically within the black community. I had to do the work, I had to, you know, address what I was feeling and why I was feeling like the root of it to really work through it. And then that awareness, because people will say, you know, postpartum is a thing, but no one really talks about it.

SPEAKER_01 6:17

Right.

SPEAKER_02 6:17

Um, so really like, you know, dealing with that head on and being aware because the more you talk about it, the more you know, the more you learn, the more you can help others around you because it is a real thing.

SPEAKER_00 6:29

And that's another that's big, that's a the thing that I would like to

Postpartum Depression And Stigma

SPEAKER_00 6:36

uh guide or teach my audience. Yeah. And it you hit it so perfect, those silent battles where we're always on the outside. We are trying to be strong. Yeah, we are finding ways to cope with the pain so nobody sees that pain. I know exactly what you're talking about when you say that is because you know, me being uh retired, um, me being a retired uh veteran of military. That's the way I would cope with fear. Yeah. You know, I think we all find a way to cope with the fears of realization.

SPEAKER_01 7:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:16

Realization when that person is gone and you weren't there. You know, were you there um with your mom while she was?

SPEAKER_02 7:25

Yes. So I was I watched her take her last breath. Wow. And yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:31

That that is a hard thing, and and sometimes it's heavy. And so we we put that mask and that that that on. Like we're yeah, I used to do that. My sister, when she passed away, I was gone for so long in the military. And then when I, you know, finally got out and met the man of my dreams, got married, and I wanted to come to my wedding, but she was just too sick to come.

SPEAKER_02 7:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:51

And then she passed shortly after that, and it was hard. Certain things just become hard for us to bear. So we go, and I did the same thing. Yeah, she's still back home. She's home in Philly. She I'll go visit her when I get a chance, you know, because I wasn't used to seeing everybody anyway. So it was easy for me to just say right, right. You know, they're still where they are. Yeah, and that's uh that is the that's like a slow death. Would you agree to say it's a slow death? Because when that realization hits us, like, oh, it's hard. Yeah, yeah. Now, what like you said, what do you want to do? So, what you know, what do people do? Um, therapy, as I heard you say therapy is a great one.

SPEAKER_02 8:35

Yes, I'm big on therapy, I'm big on community. Um, you know, I personally believe the devil loves isolation. Isolation is where every and anything can attack the mind. It can bring you down, you can start to question yourself, you can start to sabotage yourself, you can start to just really beat yourself up and go into a dark space.

The Cost Of Isolation

SPEAKER_02 8:58

And so I'm big on trusted and safe community. Like even if your community are two people, that's two people that you can be open, honest, and vulnerable with that you can trust that's safe, and you can share your innermost thoughts, feelings. You can cry, you can yell, you can scream, you can laugh, you can pray, whatever you need, you have that. And so I'm big on to finding your community, finding people that you can relate to, who can relate to you, that understands you, that accepts you, and that's willing to walk with you through whatever you're going through. Um, and then of course, you know, obviously for me, like prayer, but I think outside of those things, therapy and community are like two really big things that for me, like I would not be where I am if it was not for that.

SPEAKER_00 9:44

And I agree with that. I agree, and that's what people need. Tap into your community, whether it be faith-based, uh, two good girlfriends, uh, two good guy friends. I just say silence can be, it can be tricky. It could be real tricky when you keep to most people. I don't want to tell everybody, I don't want to bother anybody, I don't want to bother anybody else with my grief.

SPEAKER_02 10:08

But I was going through it. Say that again. And we're all going through it in some way or another. You talking to someone else may release them and what they're going through, and that may start the healing process for them as well, because you're being silent, they're being silent, no one's talking, but then you start talking, they're like, Whoa, like you can relate. And that's what I got a lot with the book. Like, oh my gosh, like you went through this, like you lost your mom, you lost the baby, like you yes.

SPEAKER_00 10:34

Now, without spoiling too much, though, without spoiling, what does the 20 days refer to? Is it a is it symbolistic? What is it referring to?

SPEAKER_02 10:43

Yeah, so

What The “20 Days” Symbolize

SPEAKER_02 10:44

it's almost like um redemption. And so for me, dealing with everything that I went through in my story, um, coming out on top, knowing that God wastes nothing. Everything that I went through was for a reason, it was for a season, and I was chosen. Um, I think about, you know, I who I am was intentional and it was put together piece by piece. Like I was knitted in my mother's womb, and my story was put together as well, you know, before I was even thought of. And so that's what that that 2020 days symbolizes, like the redemption of all of this. And I mean, more to come, you know, it just okay. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:35

That's that's a that's awesome. So what role did faith, uh, faith or spirituality play in healing and and write and writing process? Does the

Universal Message Beyond Faith

SPEAKER_00 11:47

book aim to help women of faith, or is it more universal?

SPEAKER_02 11:51

So I will say I'm gonna answer again backward. Okay. My my book is not for one of faith. It is not for just someone in you know, spirituality and religion, in faith. It is for anyone. Like I want to make it is universal, and I want to make that so clear. Yes, I talk about my faith. Yes, I talk about my journey, yes, I talk about my belief. However, it is not just for people of faith. Um, it is not even just for women. It is for, it is for men, it is for adults. If you can relate to one thing in my book, it is for you. Like, right. Um, and so I never want it to be categorized as just one thing because I think that me being able to reach people, me people being able to relate to my story, people being able to be healed, to be delivered, to be able to understand others, um, it goes beyond a category. Like it is just for the people. For the people. It is for the people. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:55

Um, and so I whoever has the eyes to see and the ears to listen, who wants to make that decision to be helped, yes, will receive it. We're gonna come right back with uh Dr. Janita Kearney in a few minutes.

Decide To Heal In Turbulent Seasons

SPEAKER_00 13:26

Okay, well, welcome back. Welcome back. Uh, this uh is really good here because it's key for people to understand that silence can be so more devastating and more hurtful than just getting in that community. So I'm glad that we touched on that because this, as I was explaining during our break, is the reason for B3U and why it exists. So B3U stands for burn, break, and become unstoppable, right? So the thing about it is, is when we're doing things like that, people have to, I want everybody to understand that you have to make a decision first because we can write all the books, we can have all of the talk shows, we can have all the anything. But what I realize that when you are in your trauma or when you are in your season of turbulence, yeah, I will say that you have to say, okay, I'm gonna buckle down, I'm gonna go through the storm, and I need to make a decision on which way I'm gonna go with this. You know, am I gonna stay stuck in my grief or am I going to come out of it? Postpartum back in the 70s, well, I'll say 80s because I was born in the 70s. I was, oh my goodness, I'm about to. But in the 80s, I didn't know anything about postpartum. Postpartum, like you said, they have very little knowledge, uh, they speak very little about postpartum. And I know because my children, uh, my daughter, one of my daughters went through postpartum, and she didn't realize what it was until afterwards. So the thing about trauma is first, you know, ground yourself, make the decision like I gotta have, I gotta get out of this. There's a way, I have to find a way out of it, surrounding ourselves with community and then making that best decision and say, and grow step by step by step. All of our turbul, all of our trials and tribulations is a foundation. And so you built that foundation, yeah, and then you've come out to share universally, universally with the the world to to help people. So I'm what do you want, what do you hope for your readers to take um away from after finishing

You Are Not Alone And Have Purpose

SPEAKER_00 15:44

a book? What do you want them to take away?

SPEAKER_02 15:46

Um, I just would like them to realize that they are never alone. What they're going through, not just someone else. So many people go through and just it maybe just in a different way, that it doesn't matter your color, it doesn't matter your gender, it doesn't matter your background, you know, whether you grew up um in a two-parent household, a single household, if you have what type of background, we all go through the same thing, just different life experiences. And so you're never alone. Um, like I said, there is unity in community. Um, and that God wastes nothing. Everything that we go through is for a reason. It is for a greater purpose. And so, you know, it is important that we work through that, we understand that because that is a part of shaping us and who we are and just growing into the people that we are meant to become.

SPEAKER_00 16:39

Because everybody has a purpose. Everybody has a purpose. You have to hold on and be strong enough to want to know what is my purpose.

SPEAKER_02 16:49

Right. And beyond faith, we all have a purpose in life. Like it goes beyond, you know, my personal belief and faith. Like, take that, put that aside. We are all here for a reason. We are all here to make a difference, to impact the world, to make it a greater place. And so we can't do that without knowing our purpose and who we are.

SPEAKER_00 17:06

Right. Knowing your purpose and then clarity. Clarity is the biggest thing, another big thing, you know, because there's a few big things, but the decision is a big thing, and then clarity, clarity. And what, okay. What is my purpose and and what is the clear path to get to a healthy mind state with um with your children now? What is your mind state now that your babies are

Pride, Growth, And Continuous Work

SPEAKER_00 17:34

here?

SPEAKER_02 17:34

I think I'm in the the most healthy space that I've ever been, even prior to them. Um, at one point I grieved who I was prior to becoming a mom, becoming a wife. And like I look and I'm just like, wow, like I love the woman that I've become. Um because the trials and the tribulations, it made me who I was. The reflection, the work, the work you have to put in the work. It has made me who I become. And I never thought I would make it to this point. Um, I just, I'm so proud of myself. And I don't, it's so funny. I never I don't think I've ever said that. I am so proud of myself because it could have broken me and I could have stayed in those dark places. Um, but even more of wanting it for my kids because my kids deserve the best mother that they can have. But I deserve the best version of me. And so, you know, it's always continuous work. So it's I'm not at my final day destination right now. Like I love this space, but I'm still working. Like there's always more, there's always evolving. There's all, you know, evolution is forever a thing. But I would say, like, just reflecting, I am so proud because it could have broken me. Like I, it could be where I'm not even here today, and you know, God has kept me, and I've just defied so many odds, and I know that I'm here for a greater purpose and greater plan. And yeah, I'm just I'm really grateful.

SPEAKER_00 19:06

So, what it sounds like to me is you're saying I had faith

Opening Honest Mental Health Conversations

SPEAKER_00 19:11

and my works, because faith without works is dead. You know, the Bible teaches us that. And so that's another thing, you know. You can't just say, uh I want to have all these things in life, you know, and you just sit there and wait for them to manifest out the sky. Yeah, you know, and I'm saying I I applaud your resilience, resiliency. Thank you. And I'm glad that you, you know, you came to a realization that you just said you heard yourself say, I'm proud of myself. You know, you have to, you know, what you isn't it funny how when you talk to yourself out loud when you hear like even on the way coming driving, I was talking out loud. It sounds so and I was like, oh, okay, that makes sense. Because, like I said, being nervous, you know, you get those nervous, but you just have to say, you know what? Out loud, right? I'm gonna do this. Yeah, this is my season, this is my time, and that's what I encourage people because there's so many people out here dealing with the grief, suicidal, homicidal, all these things because they're not coping, they're not able to cope. But sometimes you just have to slow the world down, just slow the world down and just breathe.

SPEAKER_01 20:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:28

And say, okay, this is the direction. And I love it. Foundation. All the things that you went through was your foundation, and it's the reason why you're here today to give our audience all this good knowledge, girl. So, um, how do you think your book can help conversations about mental health, grief, motherhood challenges, especially among women of faith or unprecedented communities? How do you feel your book now?

SPEAKER_02 20:56

That's good. I think that it just can open the floor for those conversations to to read without giving away too much, but to to read, you know, the various griefs that I experience. Um, someone who believes so much, but to still go through so much, to still grieve so much and you know, um, to have the faith, but then to see that it is shaken and it is uncertain, and to still navigate that um, to to experience loss in more than one way. Um I think that it just opens the space for dialogue. It opens the space for seeing someone like regular. Like I'm just a regular person, a regular person, you know. Um, and so in that too is why I want to start a book club, like just where we read the book together and we talk about it and have those conversations because again, so many people can relate. So many people have related, will relate. Um, and I think that, you know, just casually creating a Safe space, a comfortable space can allow for people to start opening up and talking about the things that they are silently battling, the things that they are that have instilled fear in them, things that, you know, they are grieving, um, struggling with. I think that, you know, the book, I know that the book will do that because.

SPEAKER_00 22:20

Let me ask you, mother, educator, podcaster, I mean, with everything that you do on a daily basis, um with those many roles, it must have been challenging for you. How did you balance your responsibilities while doing all that you do?

Balancing Roles And Protecting Your Time

SPEAKER_02 22:41

I think that um I'm still I'm still learning. Balancing is something that's really important because for the longest time I didn't think I could have it all. I thought that I had to be the perfect wife and the perfect mom, and I couldn't have anything else. Or I could have the career, but then I may not be able to have the kids or the husband. And for a long time, too, different parts of my life suffered because I did not know how to balance. But my family is my first ministry. My husband and my children are my first ministry. And yes, I realized that I am still allowed to have dreams, to have goals, to have aspirations, because a lot of time, you know, and not to slight, but we see that men can have it all. And it's kind of like, oh, women, you you really can't, but you can. Um, and I am living proof in so many, you are living proof. So many women are living proof that it does not matter who you are, you can have both. Um, so one thing I just, you know, carving out time, I am learning that I have to carve out time for myself because I cannot be my best self and I cannot pour into those I need to pour into if I am pouring from an empty cup. Um, that is that has been that has been like one of the most difficult things that I've learned. Um, and I'm still learning, you know, what I like because my identity for so long was caught up in being a wife and a mom or a teacher or an assistant principal or a professor. Um, what do I like? Rediscovering myself again. What do I like? What do I enjoy? And making sure that I'm just intentional with my time. Um, you know, for work. Once work is cut off, that's done. But then, you know, taking care of my family. But then I'm still a person. So I still get to do the things that I enjoy in our hobby, whether it's reading, um, whether it's creating, you know, something, like whether it's making one of my visions, you know, come to pass, like it's all about really being intentional, intentionality in what you want and making sure that you carve out that time.

SPEAKER_00 24:39

Girl, I love it. I love it. You are you are so one point, and I'm gonna talk a little bit at the end about things that you said. So, what changed for you personally and spiritually through the process of writing the book? Like once you write wrote the book?

SPEAKER_02 24:54

Um yeah. I think my faith even more became bigger in a sense of wow, God, like you like I have the receipts. I've seen that you can do anything, but I'm still in awe of all you do and how you use

Faith, Imperfection, And Being Used

SPEAKER_02 25:15

me. Um I realize that I don't have to be perfect. I don't have to know everything. I don't have to have everything lined up. I just have to be willing for him to use me. Um, and it doesn't have to be showy, it doesn't have to be glamorous because you know, what I shared is not glamorous. It is some of the darkest, deepest things that I've I battled. However, part of my purpose is to to draw others in for his glory. And that's what that is. And so um, yeah, I think that that's just a big piece of it.

SPEAKER_00 25:50

Okay. Do you have any another any other plans for another book? I have no idea.

SPEAKER_02 25:55

So let's let's get that one. Let's get this one

What’s Next: Community And Book Club

SPEAKER_02 26:02

out there. But you know, whatever, whatever, wherever he guides me, it will be a yes and an amen. Um, who knows? Like the with the responses, you know, there may be like I have some ideas, however, right now the focus is that. And like I said, I really want to start like a book club, a community, some readings. And so, you know, I really want to pour into this um for now, but I'll never say no.

SPEAKER_00 26:28

Are you involved in any support networks or community? Are you doing any of that now?

SPEAKER_02 26:32

Um, so working on it. You're working on it. Working on it, so stay tuned. Um, I am, you know, on Instagram, um, and Facebook. So just stay tuned and hopefully we'll get some things going quickly within the new year.

SPEAKER_00 26:47

Okay. Yes. Okay, so for mothers and mothers and all the women that are watching, look, is it men too, right? Yes. So for all those watching and listening, what's one piece from your book?

Core Advice: You Are Enough

SPEAKER_00 27:02

What's one piece of advice from your book you want everyone to get on early before the 20 days? Was everybody, what do you want to tell them?

SPEAKER_02 27:12

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 27:13

Um one piece of advice.

SPEAKER_02 27:17

One of them. I know it's all good stuff for them.

SPEAKER_00 27:20

It's all good stuff.

SPEAKER_02 27:22

One thing that I would say, and I don't know if it's really advice, but maybe some encouragement, um, that you are not alone. Um so one thing that I will say is that you are not alone. Your life is valuable, you have a purpose and a plan, and you are needed here. Um, like my shirt says, you are enough. Um, that that's really important. You are enough, you are valuable, you are loved, and you're needed here. So, you know, whatever you may be dealing with, whatever you may be battling, just know that you are not in it alone. And, you know, hopefully we can connect. Like I'm excited to meet so many people. And my prayers is that, you know, you read this and it touches you, and you feel impelled um to just make a decision to move forward in life, however, that may look for you positively. And yeah, hopefully we'll connect. Yeah. And where can you find

Where To Find The Book

SPEAKER_02 28:29

your book? You can find it on Amazon, it is on Kindle, and then there are the paperback and the hardback copies.

SPEAKER_00 28:37

Okay, great. Look, Dr. Um Janita Kearney. It has been a real pleasure. I'm glad

Final Reflections And B3U Mission

SPEAKER_00 28:47

that we were able to come here and talk about your book. It's amazing. I can't wait to read it. Because look, everybody needs that kind of uh and and upliftment. And that's what I want to send to my my audience. The same thing is make that decision. Make a decision to find out what your purpose is. Get aligned with people who have your same, your same background and mentality, okay, because you can't surround yourself with people who are going in a different direction than you. If you expire, if you want to learn how to get over grief, go into those communities. There's so many people that I'm learning in today's age, you know, with just coming out with um doing talk shows and you know, speaking to a lot of people, it's like there are more people out here than I realized. And but it takes you to open your mouth, yeah, okay, and be transparent. Don't let fear keep you so captured to where you're like, oh, I'm just gonna keep it in myself. I don't want to worry anyone. When you're missing out on everyone that has been through something similar, and if you just open up, speak and talk, you will find out that so many people have been through something similar or maybe just the same, and helps you guide you out. And that's what B3U is about. Burn, breaking, and become unstoppable, stoppable, breaking cycles, building legacies. So join please look at her book on uh Amazon if she said and tune in to B3U, the big take back, because we're taking this back, girl. And it's called the big take back for a reason. Because with people like myself, you, and so many others, this is the time where I believe like I see more people coming out to help their fellow brother, their sister to get out of this trauma that we've been in for decades. So I I appreciate you coming on. Thank you for having me. Yes, stay tuned with B3U, the big take back. Bruce Charles, we'll see you again.