Introducing Co Host Pat Smith

We welcome Pat Smith as our new co-host and talk about turning battle scars into fuel without letting hardship define how we show up. We break down what “the big take back” really means and how daily choices about mindset, faith, and community help us reclaim our voice and our future. 
• Pat’s background as an Army veteran and cybersecurity engineer 
• refusing to look like what we go through 
• choosing positivity without denying reality 
• why it is easy to give up and hard to hold course 
• letting go of the life we thought we had to live 
• representation in STEM and encouraging young Black minds 
• fear of failure as a growth moment and a detour 
• stopping the chase for outside validation 
• how community supports transformation and accountability 
• parenting with communication, structure, and respect 
• taking back our voice and setting down what we were never meant to carry 

https://www.facebook.com/bree.b3u

https://www.instagram.com/burnbreakbecomeunstoppable

Transcript

Fire, Trauma, And Becoming Unstoppable

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Some fires destroy you. Others rebuild you. From trauma to triumph, your pain can become your purpose. Let's become unstoppable.

SPEAKER_01 0:15

Welcome, welcome everybody. Welcome back to B3U, where we burn fear, break cycles, and become unstoppable. I am your host, Dr. Bree Charles. And today is very special, is a very special episode, guys. And I'm very excited because we will be introducing someone who will be joining me on this incredible journey. So I'm so blessed. God is good. And this season, we're calling this the big take back, what we are leaving behind. So throughout this season, we'll be discussing the things that no longer serve us and the things we've overcome and how we are going to reclaim our purpose, power, peace, and potential. So today it is my honor, my pleasure to introduce Miss my new co-host, Miss Pat Smith. Hey Pat, how are you, girl?

SPEAKER_02 1:17

I'm doing great. How about yourself?

SPEAKER_01 1:19

Yes, I am amazing. Look, I am fired up. I don't know about you. I can feel that God has something for us in this season. And I just want to I want to be the first to say thank you, thank you, thank you for coming on and joining me and on this journey.

SPEAKER_02 1:37

Thank you for extending the offer. It's definitely a blessing to be here. And uh great things are to come.

SPEAKER_01 1:43

Yes, it is. Yes, it is. I'm already on fire about it. I could just feel it in my bones, like they say. I just can feel it, so I'm excited. So, Pat, let's start off and let's just um tell our audience a little bit about your background and a little bit about yourself.

Meet Pat Smith And Her Story

SPEAKER_02 2:03

Oh, well, um, so as she has said, my name is Pat Smith. I'm originally from Louisiana. I currently live in Virginia. I'm the mother of two boys, grandmother of three. Um, I'm an army vet, war veteran. Um, I worked in the federal government for several years for about 20 years, and then I went into the civilian sector. I'm a cybersecurity engineer. Um, I'm a person who seems to be kind of like closed if you look at me from the outside. But as I was telling Bree, I only like to speak when I have something to say that's of importance. Um, I love I love people, I love animals, I love my family. Um I love helping people to grow and to become better and listening to people to help me grow and become better. Just being with Bree has um, you know, listening to her has kind of fired me up and been like, okay, Pat, y'all think exactly the same way, you know. It's like, it's it's like God sent that connection when I was thinking about doing something and Bree reached it out. You know, I've been through several things in my life. And um from the outside, the shell, it doesn't look like I've endured what I've endured. But it's like I've said, I've told Bree, I've had my share of battle scars from the battles that I've been through. Um, they might not be visible, but that's because God said, Don't look like you're beaten down and and and and torn. You know, you need to wash your face and stand up because you're a child of God. And so I choose to stand in what God says and not look like I'm downtrodden um because I have no reason to be, because he woke me up this morning.

SPEAKER_01 3:51

So that's right. Amen. That's the look, that is good right there. Not I never want to look like what I go through, you know, never want to look like what I go through. And then, you know, you have those people like ain't nothing wrong with her. I just seen her the other day on, you know, and it's like, but you know, what am I what is that supposed to look like? What do you want me to look like exactly?

SPEAKER_02 4:12

What does that look like? You know, what do you want me to look like? You know, it's like people want you to be part of their interpretation of, well, if you've been through all this, then why are you still smiling? Because I don't have a reason to frown because God woke me up this morning. So that's my blessing right there. Because there are people that did not wake up this morning. So I'm one of the ones that was blessed to wake up. So why should I look down? Why should I be frowning? Why should I be mad at the world? The world is such a beautiful place. Just going outside, breathing air, seeing the trees, it's such a beautiful place. You know, there's so many beautiful things out there. Yes, there's negative, but don't focus on the negative, focus on the positive. If I feel like if something happens, okay, I have to endure this. How do we get past it? Okay, it's just a stumbling block. God's gonna see me through it. I don't think of oh, woe is me. I think of okay, now this is just something else that you know is gonna make me stronger and that I can use, move past it and move on. And that's why when um you um invited me to B3U, and you were telling me about your message, and I had been seeing you and your post and everything online and seeing your message, and I was like, wow, Bria's really doing I'm so proud of her. And it was like, I was thinking, I was like, Like, we think the same way.

SPEAKER_01 5:34

And then when I got that call from you, and we were just talking as friends, you know, and then it just kind of like came up, you sure were, just talking, just talking.

SPEAKER_02 5:44

Yeah, and it just kind of like came up and it clicked. And you say, Oh, I wanted to know the second. I was like, sure, if you're willing to, you know, and it and it's just like something, and everything just kind of like has been clicking since then because the principle is like the it's the message, um getting the message out and knowing, letting people know, especially during these times, that people are here, people are going through, but you don't have to, you don't have to become angry, you don't have to pardon your heart, you don't have to become disgruntled in what you go through. You don't have to let your circumstances determine how you react. You determine how you react to things. It doesn't have to make you that way. You make that choice, you can choose every day. No, this is not gonna get the best of me. I'm going to hold my head up and keep walking in the light of God the way I should, you know what I mean, and doing what God says I should do, you know, and just walking in positivity because it's so easy to be negative, it's so far, it's so easy to follow people that are on the internet. They're saying how you know things are so bad, this is bad, and it's not to negate what's going on around us. Things do need to change. Changes do need to be made.

SPEAKER_01 6:58

It does, it does. And I'm I'm glad that you you said that. Um, my son gave my um grandson one of my grandsons, hey, uh, got in a little trouble. And um he told me, he said, Mom, you know what I told him to do? He got him on a bar and he said, Hold up, pull up on it, put and stay there, and stay there. He said, It's hard, ain't it? It's hard. And my son is 37, and I'm so glad this is maturity and growth with even in him through his teenage years. You know how when you get those, you know, young men, especially in getting those teenage phase, they they start smelling themselves. So he put them up there and said, Hold it, it's hard, ain't it? It's hard. And he was started to shake. He said, Now just let go. He said, Well, that was easy, wasn't it? And said my grandson was like, Yeah, that was easy. And that was the whole message.

Joy As A Daily Choice

SPEAKER_01 7:47

It's easy to just give up, to just fall down, but it's hard to stand the course. And so you already answered my second question, sis is why you were inspired to become a part of B3U and this movement, because this is a movement that's not about us individually, it's about us you not unified, you know, unanimously, you know, like us together. The message is about God, first of all, first and foremost, we can't do nothing without Him. And you know, look, some people don't even see or realize that some people out here feel alone, right? You know, they feel I know I remember being times, and I'm sure, like you said, me and you talk all the time, you know, and we you're not not all the time, but when we do catch up, it's uh we always align, and it's like we notice that God has kept us through it all, He keeps us through it all. Even when we think we are by ourselves, He's always there. So some people they feel like you know, and sometimes you just need that person to remind you, you know. Um, and you need somebody to remind you, like, hey, says, Hey, bro, you're not by yourself. First of all, God got you because we can't do things like God can do things, exactly. So sometimes we gotta get out of our own way, gotta get out your own way, out of your own way. So when you first heard of burn, break, and become unstoppable, right? What did that mean to you personally? Like when you were watching the show or you saw a little clip, what did it mean to you personally?

SPEAKER_02 9:28

Everything it means to me, everything that you've been through, anything negative, any hurdle that you've overcome, it's it's broken. And now throw it in the fire. Go past it. Don't don't sit there in it, move past it, go forward and become unstoppable and lays new paths to new and greater things because that's behind you. Don't sit there in it and walla, keep pushing forward. That's what it meant to me, and that's why it resonated with me so much because that's kind of been my motto in life. Don't sit there and say, It's easy to sit there and say, Whoa is me. Well, I should have, or why did that happen to me? Okay, so why was God crucified on the cross? There's a reason for everything. If they can crucify someone who is without sin, without flaw, then what makes us think that we're never gonna go through trials and tribulations, you know? Right, and sometimes those trials and tribulations end up being blessings because they teach us things, you know, they teach us things, they they we learn things from those. And um I'm grateful for some of the stuff I've been through. It's been hard, but um, I've learned.

Support The House Of Humanity

SPEAKER_01 10:47

So let's go to commercial break, and we're gonna come right back and finish this amazing conversation with Pat Smith. Here at the House of Humanity, we serve those families in need. Donate or get involved today by visiting www.thehouse of humanity.org. So join us because here at the house of humanity, we are truly making a way. Okay, welcome back, everyone.

Letting Go Of The Life Script

SPEAKER_01 11:13

Welcome back. So, Pat, okay. What uh you know, after listening to you and everything, what is something in your life that you had to leave behind in order to grow? Have you had something in your life you had to leave behind or something you had to let go of to move forward?

SPEAKER_02 11:40

The main thing I had to let go of to move forward is my idea of what my life was supposed to look like. Um, and and my my thoughts on what I was supposed to do are supposed to be because I was like, when I was born, I was like, I'm never gonna get married, I'm not gonna have kids. Guess what? I got married 22 years together, 24 years, uh, two kids. Wow, 20. So that was totally against what I what my mindset was because what I found was that um I was shorting myself on what I could do, you know, because we kind of like you live and you kind of like put yourself in well. Well, you're a lot of society, and sometimes people to put yourself in the box. I was the only kid in my family that end up being a technology nerd. You know, I'm the I'm the baby of seven. Okay, the only engineer. You know, there's lawyers, there's there's people in the medical field of my family. Uh, my family is mainly educators. Um I'm the only geek. I'm the only geek in the family, you know. You do, and um, and um I remember when I was graduating from high school, and my counselor, you know, all the seniors have to talk, the counselor talks to all the seniors. What are you doing? You know, this is like mid-year, and they're like, Do you know what you're gonna do? I was like, Yeah, I've already been accepted to college, and yes, I'm going in um biomedical engineering. Um, so I'm already done, I'm already accepted, I'm good, you know, and this is by December. And before I told her, you know, what I was gonna do, excuse me. It was like, um, excuse me. Did I want to be, you know, in the education field? And I was like, no, I want to be an engineer. I've always had a passionate love for technology. I've always wanted to see us, young black girls, young black men, young minorities be in the um math and sciences field. Because there's been so many times in my career I'm the only one at the table. And it's it's disheartening because there's so many bright, brilliant minds out there, you know, that just don't think that it's for them because they're told it's not for them, or because other people have put limitations on them and say, You're thinking too high, you're thinking too broad, you're thinking above where you should be thinking. And I thank God for my parents, rest their souls, um, and my family that I grew up with, that they never ever put limitations on what we could do and on who we could be. They never told us that we could not do anything. And I think people should never tell kids what they can't do because that sets a mindset as an adult, it puts a chain on a person because if they start believing that they're less than, you know, then they don't even try, they don't even attempt it, you know, and they miss out on opportunities that they could have had when all you had to do is know I had to step back from me. And even though I knew sometimes there's that internal fear, even though you know, you know, I got this, but it's kind of like you get afraid, and you be like, Well, what if I do it and I and I mess up? That was that was me. It wasn't that I couldn't do it, it was like I didn't want to mess up, I didn't want to bring shame to my family name, I didn't want to be a discreet, you know what I mean. I just did not want to fail, but then you have to learn we're all gonna fail as long as you fail forward, you get up and you keep moving.

SPEAKER_01 15:47

Hello, hello. Many look, many of us, many people struggle with that, right? The fear, the doubt, the uncertainty, uncertainty. It's like, what do we say? What do we say to someone who feels stuck right now? Because as you all uh, as you know, um, with me, that it, you know, and that's why I like being transparent, letting our viewers know we are human beings, we're human beings, we are women who have been through some things, even I creating a price for a purpose, and you know this to be true. I was like, oh my god, I can't, you know, like this is this is failing. I'm it not I didn't get a lot of only two people registered. It nobody, and this was what, back in uh what March? You know, start to get fearful and afraid. Like, I don't want to look stupid, I don't want to look this way. Oh, people aren't gonna want to hear what I have to say. We get all of those types of things and doubts in our mind, and the biggest thing that keeps people from doing businesses is fear, naysayers, all that kind of so what do you what would you say to somebody is feeling stuck

Fail Forward And Drop Validation

SPEAKER_01 17:05

like that right now? What do you say?

SPEAKER_02 17:08

The thing about it is that we're all gonna fail. There's no such thing, there was only one perfect person in the world, and I know I always refer back to God because He's the center of everything, and without God, I would be nothing. So He's He's the only one perfect person in this world that there ever was that has walked this earth. Nobody else is, there's only been one. So that means everybody around you is just as imperfect as you are.

SPEAKER_01 17:33

That's right.

SPEAKER_02 17:33

We all fail. The only way to learn is by failing. Because if everybody did everything perfect all the time, nobody would grow, nobody would get out their comfort zone, nobody would learn. We'd all be stuck in our own little individual bubbles, still doing the same thing, still acting the same way, still thinking the our way is the only way in the world to operate. So when you fail, it I don't I stopped looking at it as a failure and start looking at it as a growth moment. There you go, as a learning moment. Stop looking at things that and it's not really a failure, things just didn't go exactly the way you planned. Yes, so you just took a detour in the road. That's a detour in the road, and sometimes God put those detours in the road, not because what you're doing was wrong, but because he wants to steer you to something greater, and the only way he could steer you to that greater thing was for you to make that detour and for you to learn that lesson. Yes, and in everything that you do, you look back at it, okay. What could I have done better? What didn't I do? What do I need to learn from this? Because regardless if a hundred people show up to prosper on purpose or 50 people show up to prosper on purpose, it only takes you reaching one, one, and that one could go talk to a hundred people, you know what I mean, or 50 people in a group that they're a member of and spread the message on you of what you had to say and you know what there was said there, because you never know who's looking at you. And I tell my sons that you never know who you inspire because people have come up to me, and I didn't even really know that the person was paying attention to me. When I was working up in DC and I was working for the FBI, you know, I had people come up to me, you're so such an inspiration. I see the way you carry yourself, I see how you are at a meetings, you're the only, you know, black female there, and my daughter or whatever, or my son wants to do this and da-da-da-da-da, having a conversation, right? But you and you never know, you never know that five-year-old, that 12-year-old that might be that same type of person that you were more technology driven, or wants to be a public speaker, or wants to be a doctor, and they see how you do things, and they might not say anything until they get the courage, and then they say, you know, I want to be this just like you. Yeah, and I tell them it's not just like me, you be like you, but you be in the same field because you don't need to be like me, because there you need to be like you because you're an individual, and God puts a plan for you. We can do this work in the same field, but you be true to you, you know. And people take failures, oh it it makes them think less than of themselves, and it makes them think that they're not worthy. Failure is a growth, is a growth step.

SPEAKER_01 20:30

Foundation, it's a building, it's a growth step, exactly. You know, take that and look at it. That that and that's why I say transformation. Once we transform the mind, okay, to to think differently and to make the decision, like I gotta change the way I I gotta change the way I think, you know, and then be determined about changing that mindset, transforming that mindset. You know what I'm saying? I I totally agree, I totally agree with that.

SPEAKER_02 21:04

You know, when we stop, when we stop looking out for outside validation on who we are, when we stop looking at the person next to us to tell us and to give us our value, when we just say no, I don't it's not about what the outside people think or feel about me. The only thing that ever matters, and that everybody should understand how you think of yourself.

SPEAKER_01 21:33

That's right.

SPEAKER_02 21:35

And I tell my sons, if you can stand with you and God alone, then you've already won because there you don't need anybody else as long as you're standing with God.

SPEAKER_01 21:46

That's right.

SPEAKER_02 21:47

I say because outside people will change, they will ebb and flow, they will be in your corner one minute and they will put the knife in your back the next because people are fickle, you can't get your value. Of your being from anybody else, you have to know that you are value, you have to have your value in yourself, your faith in yourself, and that's all you need. You talk to God and keep pushing. God will put everybody in your path that needs to be put. Just look at us.

SPEAKER_01 22:19

Yes, girl.

SPEAKER_02 22:20

You were doing prosper on purpose. You had no idea. You know, you were doing all these things by yourself, and just by a simple phone call, just to just to connect because we hadn't talked to each other, you know, for a few several weeks, you know, and we had that conversation. Now look what happened.

SPEAKER_01 22:35

Yes, yes, girl. Talk what happened.

SPEAKER_02 22:38

So, you know, it's it's it's like you said, it's a mind transformation, it's uh not looking for outside validation, not necessarily looking for the easy way because going God's way is not the easy way, or going the way that you want to go, it's not the easy way, it's not gonna be, it's not gonna be stress-free, it's not gonna be without um situations and circumstances, it's not gonna be without you know, stumbling blocks. That's right, it's just not, and I wonder at the end of that is what's what's um valuable.

SPEAKER_01 23:13

That's right. I hear you talk about your children, and you know, uh, I see how you are so involved with your children, and really education and and validation comes from inside the home, right?

Community, Parenting, And Real Boundaries

SPEAKER_01 23:26

So that uh leads me to this question is like what role do you believe that the community plays in personal growth and transformation?

SPEAKER_02 23:36

Oh wow. Um, the community is everything. When I was growing up, you know, everybody knew everybody. The next door neighbors knew who kids, everybody, the people that we played with on the block behind the block above, everybody in the whole neighborhood. They knew who your parents were, they knew who that kid belonged to, and all of them looked out for each kid, you know. And you didn't do anything wrong because that person will correct you and then call your mom and let you let them know that you did something wrong, and then they, you know, gonna talk to you when you get home. You know, talk to it.

SPEAKER_01 24:08

It didn't work that way for me. Uh I'm saying talk to be nice, but you know what could happen. I didn't got him a spanking from each neighborhood, like you know, by the time I get home with my grandmother, she's standing there with the switch. My gosh, exactly. Look, Makey, go get your own switch off. Miss Susie didn't already do that. I don't care. Get in here. Oh gosh, yes, that's yeah, and uh own switch, yes, ma'am.

SPEAKER_02 24:36

I need it, and and we need to kind of go back to that in our neighborhoods, looking out for each other instead of now, and I think it's just a mindset of some of the some of the um ramifications from young mothers and fathers, people having kids too young, um, and thinking that somebody correcting their child is them doing something negative to their child, you know. A child has to have correction, a child has to have structure, a child has to have boundaries, a child has to have a village, exactly, and so and raised that child, yes, yes, and yeah, exactly. And a village within your family and without, you know, outside of your family, you know. My family, like I said, I'm the youngest of seven. My family's huge. My mom was the same way. I think it was like seven of them, you know, and I spent a lot of time with both my grandmothers on both sides, you know, and I was like the old soul. I like to sit with my grandmother, step, get on the step stool while she's cooking, you know, making our homemade pies and just have a conversation, you know. And I think people have stopped talking to their kids. People have put tablets and computers and things of that nature to distract their kids from what's important when they're thinking, well, I don't have time, I just need to sit them down, give them this tablet. And the kids are, you know, they're bombarded with everybody's opinion of the world and view of things, except yours as the parent. Right. And at that point, now it's is whatever society is saying, whatever TikTok is saying, whatever YouTube is saying, whatever's being said on that little game as they're playing live with their friends or whatever. That's what's governing your child. Take the time out, you know what I mean. You got to communicate with your kids, you have to talk to your kids. My kids are not perfect, nobody is, but my my kids and my family, I tell them all the time, I'm the matriarch of this tribe. It's on me to make sure you guys have the knowledge and information that you need to be successful as adults. It's on me to lay that blueprint for you. And I tell my son, now it's on you to lay that blueprint for your kids. Don't let anybody lay the blueprint for your child or your family. You know, I only have those people in your tribe, not necessarily just family, but friends. Like I consider you to be part of my tribe. I would not feel any kind of way if you told my kids or my granddaughter, look, you know, I deal with this, you know, give them some knowledge that they can take forward.

SPEAKER_01 27:23

You know what I think it is. I'm gonna back it up a little bit. I think you know, like people tend to parents tend to raise their children different from what they were raised, as saying it as a bad thing. For example, um, you know, it's all about balancement. I know that when I was raising my children, I took the way I was raised and said, I don't really want to beat my children like experiences that I have had, right? And so when I raised my children, they got the opportunity to speak, tell me what's going on, tell me why you did that. Okay, now now if you went a little bit above and beyond, then you're gonna you're gonna get the you you you you're about to catch it. You're catching it because you went above and beyond the the talking phase, you know. Now you're gonna get the business. So it was a balance for me. It's like, okay, let me hear your voice and see what you did, and let's talk about it. Maybe we can redesign this, okay, rethink this thing, and then do it this way. Trust me what I'm telling you, do it my way, and you'll be okay. But then if you went out there and did something I told you not to do, like I said, you're gonna get it, right? So now when my children raise their children and they try the talking, and they you know, let me hear from you, and you know, okay, you did this, and then you know, you take something away from them for about a week, or then they, you know, the kids kind of be like, hmm. So all I gotta do is, you know, mom gonna give me back my game system and all that in a week.

SPEAKER_02 29:09

Yeah, they don't they don't care about you taking their uh stuff away from a week, it means absolutely nothing. That's the same thing with timeout. Put a child in timeout for five minutes. That child don't care after about two times. They figure they're gonna go on timeout for five minutes and they're gonna still go back and do exactly what they did before. They figured it out, so they already got it figured out after the second time. Even if they're two years old, they already figured out after the second time, oh, I'm just gonna be facing the wall for two minutes. I have to sit down for two minutes, then I can go back and play with my toys. I'm gonna do whatever I want to do because that's not that's really not a deterrent because you're giving it back to them.

SPEAKER_01 29:43

So now when they teenagers, it's like, mom, how did you do it? Oh my god, they driving me. I don't want them no more, you know. And I say, first of all, is balancement, okay. It's okay to hear from them, okay. But you have to like okay, in the Bible, right? It says we are to fear God. No, the way I fear God is I know, you know, and they I don't want my they say, I don't want my children to fear me, but we fear God. We know that if we don't do is that is how he says it should be done, we will perish. We're going to hell for X, Y, Z, whatever. But He said, you know, to come, repent, and you know, things like that. It's balancement. You know what I'm saying? It's the same thing with anything in life, raising your children, working at a job. You have to have balancement, and that balance meant is standing your ground, letting you know, like, hey, don't do this, or this will happen. Not to say, okay, you know, just for a little bit and then go back and give it back. I said what I said now. When you done, you know, because the the thing is, why don't they mess with you and pop pop? Exactly. Some the old people just gotta give a look.

SPEAKER_02 31:02

Look, that's what I did to my kids. My kids knew. Look, I grew up with the look. The look, my mama gave that look, and I said, and and my kids will tell you they was like, No, I'm not messing with my mom. I'm not, and it's not it's not that my my kids were not afraid of me. My kids respected me. Yes, my kids respected what they said. I was not afraid of my mom. I was the baby of, like I said, seven. I never got a whip in a day in my life. I've never had to learn from the other ones, like yeah. I paid attention, yeah. I paid very close attention, so I would not have to. Exactly. I was I was I was the quiet kid. I was a kid, I used to go with my cousin Dexter. We would read like I would read like the dictionary and encyclopedia on in the during the summertime. I was the kid that had the the the books thing that read the books. I was the I'm more of a sit back and let me observe everybody else type person versus a let me go follow type person. But I respected my I respected my mother, I respected my father, I respected my grandparents and all my elders. And I grew up on a thing of you've been you don't want to bring shame or any type of negativity to your family name. Yes, right, because your name lives on after you don't. It's still people in town talk about, you know, my mom, my dad that know them. I mean, from way back when that if I go home, oh you're Mojo's daughter, yes, I am. That's what they used to call my dad, right? Oh, so you're little such and such, you're grown up, yes, right, you know, and people still remember. I think it's just a matter of respect. You can't be your child's friend, you have to be a parent when it's time to parent. I tell my kids, we can become friendly when you become an adult, but we still not exactly friends, but we're friendly because no matter until the day you die, I'm still the reign and authority.

SPEAKER_01 33:00

Yes, girl. And that's even with work, you know. Even at work, you know, you I would just be in that realm, like, oh man, you know, sir and Charles with my soldiers, you know what I'm saying? Like, hey, this time to work, we're gonna work, okay? Just training, preparing us and building us for what that that level is out there right now. When we back here and we got that downtime, you know, I would go somewhere and see them like, hey, you know, it it's now it's that time to you know, uh have fun or whatever. But when it came time, you just knew in my face I was about business. I ain't coming. It's time to work, it's time to work.

SPEAKER_02 33:38

It's a same thing with my soldiers. Look, when we working, we working when it's on downtime. When I do when I take y'all out to dinner, when we when we go out to a team lunch together or whatever, I'll take y'all to lunch, then we can chop it up. Yeah, but when we in this building and we have a mission, that's what we gotta do. I took it right into my civilian right into my civilian look. Yeah, it's time to work, it's time to work. We got this deadline, we gotta do what we gotta do.

SPEAKER_01 34:02

We gotta do. I love it. I I love it. Being in the military, I have those those values. Well, we're gonna take another commercial break and we're gonna come right back. All right, so I'm gonna let that finish up. I'm just gonna let it run for a few minutes before I pause it. That way he can put these commercials in and we can roll from there. Okay, so I am gonna pause it now.

The Big Take Back And Using Your Voice

SPEAKER_01 34:30

Okay, welcome back, everyone. Welcome back. So, Pat, um, I this is an amazing conversation. I truly am enjoying it, right? We uh we've touched on so many things, and I know I can go on and on and on, and we can talk, okay, about all of these amazing things, and we will, we will. So just to ask you, uh, what does the big take back mean to you personally?

SPEAKER_02 35:01

Let our viewers to me the big take back means you're taking back your voice. You're taking back your your your you're taking back control of the situation, of your life. You're you're become you're instead of letting life dictate how you're gonna react, you dictate how you react to situations. You dictate how you view things, you know, how you handle things. You become in charge because we give our power and we give our thoughts to the situation if something happens and we let the situation determine you know the outcome or let the situation you know override us because we get locked in that mindset. The woe is me, like I told you. The big take back is you take back your voice, you be heard. So many people go silent, they go through things and they go silent. And we've talked about um how I've been that way myself at times, because I'm usually the person that people come to when they're going through, and I'm usually, you know, like they say, the strong person sometimes doesn't get heard because they don't people don't see the strong person as ever needing to talk to anybody, and that's such a true statement because I've always been that person whose shoulders seem to be broader than everybody else's, and it got to the point where I didn't think that what I had, you know, when I was going through, I'd be like, no, I just don't want to bother people, I don't want to worry people, you know. Um, and then I had to realize, you know, your shoulders are broad, but that God didn't mean for you to carry all that. So you have to sit it down, you know, you have to let it go. So I had to learn to start, you know, praying about it, sitting it down and letting it go. I had to learn that there are people out there who are willing to have that conversation, you who are willing to listen, you know, and part of the big take back is you're taking back your voice and it's allowing yourself to be heard, giving yourself permission to have your voice, giving yourself permission to speak and stand in your truth, and stop penalizing yourself for there being stumbling blocks, for there being trials and tribulations in your life, because those are things that are gonna teach you and that um you're gonna learn from. And I know with you and your book, all the stuff that you've gone through, those things, people are gonna see those things and the stuff that they have been through in their life through you and the voice. That's why B3U is so important. You know, people can put the facades up on the internet and they can act like they have a perfect life. Nobody has a perfect life.

SPEAKER_01 37:50

That's nobody has a perfect life.

SPEAKER_02 37:52

90% of what you see on the internet. These people, I have a perfect life. I'm going in. No, they don't. I'm going on vacation every other month. That's because you got credit card debt. I'm not going on a vacation every other month because I have zero debt. That's the difference in me and you. My money's in a bank. Yours going to the credit card company.

SPEAKER_01 38:13

People say, I always see you, you always somewhere. Do you know those big post long posted videos from a while ago?

SPEAKER_02 38:22

Like, look, do you know I plan to do I plan that out? I plan that was part of a plan.

SPEAKER_01 38:28

Look, you you might get two vacations back to back because I forgot to post the last one.

SPEAKER_02 38:34

I'm transparent. That happened months and months ago, you know. But it's like it's the big tape, is is it's so much involved in just that.

SPEAKER_01 38:45

But not that I give the glory, I give the glory all to the most high because he led me into creating B3U. Uh again, I was, you know, trying to save the world, trying to save everybody. My biggest thing was fear. I fear death, you know, and still to this day, I still feel fear death. What's going to happen to this person? But every day that I wake up, I'm taking back that power and the control over my mind to say, God has my family covered. And um, it's the big take back, is about it's a constant reminder that every day we have to take our voice back, our power back, our control of our minds, control over the fear, our identities, our identities are trying to be and that's a daily thing, it's not a one-time thing.

SPEAKER_02 39:34

You have to wake up daily and take it back. We have to make a conscious decision every day, conscious a conscious decision.

SPEAKER_01 39:44

And Pat, this is why I'm so grateful that we God has sent you to me and we are aligning on the same uh on the same path. And you see the vision that I am trying to do because it's a daily thing, it's a daily every day I wake up. Okay, it's a daily uh battle. I can do this. I wake up in pain, I don't want to move nowhere, I don't want to go nowhere. Well, I just do it anyway and be in the bed, but I gotta say, you know what?

SPEAKER_02 40:13

Nope, that's not the day I'm gonna have, you know, I'm gonna do because both of us um deal with um chronic pain, right? And um have medical conditions that we could just I could lay in the bed all day and just be like, Well, I ain't gonna do nothing. I'm gonna just sit here, I'm gonna wallow, I'm gonna I'm gonna give the pain the authority over me instead of me having authority over it. Right, I'm letting the pain, I can let the pain dictate my day, right? You know, and my son was like, Mom, you should have retired a long time ago. I thought you should have retired because you just you've always pushed yourself our entire life. I said, Because at the end of the day, I said, either I'm going to do what I know needs to be done, or either I'm gonna sit somewhere and wither away and say, Whoa is me, I'm in pain, I shouldn't do XYZ. And I said, That's not the life I want to live. That's not the me I want you to look back on and see. I don't want my grandkids to see that for whatever time I have here on this earth, I'm going to pat is gonna dictate my circumstances and situations are not gonna dictate for me, and that's the big take back that people need to realize you can go through a lot of things, but those things don't dictate or determine your value or who you are as a person because we all go through, we all get weary, we all get tired. That's just part of life.

SPEAKER_01 41:32

That's how you it's how you show up and how you handle it, and how you show up in life, and how you show up to deal with because just the difference. You know, sometimes I notice that you can change, you could change the way you feel by putting a smile on somebody else's face, and that that's what it is for me. I may feel horrible one day and not in a good mind head space, but I still keep a smile and somebody will say something like, Oh, you just made my day, just greeting me. And I'm like, Wow, you know, I just made a difference, right? So it's how you show up. So, one word Pat that describes you what keeps you motivated, family. Who inspires you? God, and are you are you a reader? Do you read books? I love reading. What book has impacted your life? The Bible. Whoa, go ahead now. What lesson you wish everybody knew?

SPEAKER_02 42:38

That they are that they are loved and they're valued, they are important. Everybody on the face of this earth is here for a reason. You have value, you're a blessing, and you need to see yourself as that blessing that you are.

SPEAKER_01 42:54

Yep, amen. I believe that um I wish that people knew the power that they have within them. If people knew, and and when you said the Bible, I love it because the Bible gives you everything. God is within us, God is all powerful. So if you knew that you have the power of God in you, everything that's going on in the world right now, we are so powerful where we can overcome the walking around with fear that if you look online, you can see so many people feel well, groceries, and then they look around.

SPEAKER_02 43:32

Well, why aren't they? I see a lot of people saying, you know, well, why aren't black people um complaining? Why aren't black people in the uproar? Because look, we've been here before. We've been here before, and we we know how to make stuff stretch. We are resilient. We sitting here, we we're growing, we're learning, we're building ourselves because we know that we're gonna come out of this, and when we come out, we're gonna be ready for what's on the other end.

SPEAKER_01 43:57

And that is that is another reason. For this movement, but we're gonna get into that a whole lot later. What legacy do you want to leave behind, Pat?

Legacy, Unity, And The Closing Charge

SPEAKER_02 44:07

A legacy of love, a legacy of understanding, a legacy of not of unselfishness, a legacy of generosity, of family, of unity. The biggest thing I tell my kids is we are a tribe, and who we bring into our tribe, me bringing you into my tribe means I look out for Brie too. You know, I love Brie too. If Bree needs me, girl, give me a call. Like Bree says, I live out too far. Girl, that ain't too far. Just let me know. I'll be there.

SPEAKER_01 44:42

And I think what we lost to in the humanity and the human race, um, we lost that trust because we've been hurt by others. Yes, I have been hurt by other women. I have had women that smile on my face and stab me in my back, and you know this, but that didn't deter me from still opening my heart to Pat who opened heart, we opened our hearts to each other. So I think that's what people uh also do, uh, especially among women. They say that, oh no, uh-uh, women is messy. This is that. I can't deal with that. Uh, you know, some men are just you know silent to themselves. You know, we need to get uh, we need to come back to the table, right? And we need to all talk, we need to communicate. You gotta learn there. It's everything, everything, every I keep saying the same thing. I feel like a broken record, but everything has a balancement. You had in a marriage at work with your children, in your marriage, everything has a balancement. You need to learn first the people or in the situations that you're in and around. You know what I'm saying? Before you, you know, you just jump in there and give it y'all. Learn people, smile, talk to them, see where their heads are. You know what I'm saying? But Pat, if you could leave what a message to our audience today, what would you tell them? What would it be?

SPEAKER_02 46:12

The message that I would leave would be this B3U, we're here to transform, we're here to make a difference, we're here to unify, not to divide. We're here to make people understand their power in their voice, in their being, in their presence, and to help people find those things through our transparency, our understanding, and our listening to what you're going through. Just know that there are people that are out there that do care. There are people that are out there whose voices you know are gonna be heard, who will speak with you and for you, and you will see through us that there are ways to make it happen. There's a ways to come out of those places that you don't were too dark or that you couldn't come out of. Um, because transformation is coming. Mind, body, soul, and spirit. Transformation, it's already coming, it's already started. It's it's here, it's here, definitely here. And you know, we're here to help help you transform along the way. And um, we're definitely, you know, this journey. I feel so blessed that Brie, you know, asked me to take this journey with her because I'm I'm really um excited about it. Um, we always can talk forever about anything. I'm excited and I'm ready for it. And I just feel that it's just such an important message, especially during this time. You know, we need to be make ourselves strong, make our community strong, make our kids strong, you know, in who they are as people, so we can move forward and be ready for the next step because it's coming and we have to be ready. You have to you have to stay ready and you have to be ready. You know, you don't want to get ready when the time comes, you want to already be ready. Be if you stay ready, you never have to get ready.

SPEAKER_01 48:09

We have to be ready, not get ready. Oh girl, I love that. Go ahead now. Go ahead. That's my best for that's my go ahead. That's what I'm saying. Be ready, Pat. I want to thank you for joining us and should for sharing your heart with our audience. Uh, to everyone who is watching, remember this. Remember this. If you haven't heard anything, you cannot become who you are called to be while holding on to what broke you, okay? This season we're talking. We're taking this season, we're taking it all back, we're taking everything back that the enemy tries to take from us, okay? Our peace, our purpose, our confidence, our voice, and our future. Because here at B3U, we are breaking cycles and building legacies. We kicking in the door. And until next time, keep breaking those cycles, building legacies. This is Dr. Bree Charles and my girl Pat Smith. Thank you all for watching. Thank you. B3U.

SPEAKER_00 49:14

Some fires destroy you, others rebuild you. From trauma to triumph, your pain can become your purpose. Let's become unstoppable.