Burn-Break&Become Unstoppable B3u
“Welcome to B3U, the podcast where we will always speak our truths by Burning pains of the past, Breaking the broken mindset and Becoming Unstoppable, reclaim power all while walking into our purpose . I’m Bree and if you’re here today, you or someone you love has likely faced the dark reality of abuse. First, let me say this—you are not broken. You are not defined by what happened to you. You are here, and that means there is hope, strength, and a future waiting for you.
Here we will be diving into the journey of healing. We’ll talk about the aftermath of abuse, how to reclaim your voice, and the steps toward true freedom and find your purpose . Whether you’re just beginning to process your experience or you’re deep into your healing journey, this podcast is for you!
Burn-Break&Become Unstoppable B3u
Battle Beyond The Waves: Mrs. Barbara Ratliff
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We sit down with retired Navy veteran and author Barbara Ratliff to talk about the hidden battles behind her memoir Battle Beyond the Waves and the faith that carried her through fear, trauma, and rebuilding. We unpack what healing feels like, why decisions shape destiny, and how support, forgiveness, and purpose can turn survival into a new life.
• Barbara’s “two people wearing one uniform” truth about military life and home life
• Fear as an invisible force and the mindset shifts that break its grip
• Freedom as letting go and fully being yourself, especially as a Black woman veteran
• Why the book offers insight over easy solutions and why choice still matters
• Self-advocacy, the limits of quick prescription fixes, and asking better questions
• Patience, struggle, and what we hide behind strength and performance
• Breast cancer, family support, and identity beyond the body
• Healing as a feeling, forgiveness starting with self, and rest after years of surviving
• Purpose, writing, publishing, and what “unstoppable” means in real life
Subscribe to this channel, share this episode with someone who needs it. Pick up your copy of the big take back, What I Left Behind, by going to my website, www.b3unstoppable.net. And if you're looking for a transformational speaker for your organization, you can visit that same website, www.b3unstoppable.net.
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Juneteenth Welcome And Guest Intro
SPEAKER_01Some fires destroy you. Others rebuild you. From trauma to triumph, your pain can become your purpose. Let's become unstoppable.
SPEAKER_02Back to B3U. I am your girl, Dr. Brie Charles, and this is another episode of The Big Take Back, What We're Leaving Behind in this Season. And today we have the amazing Miss Barbara Ratliff, the author of Battle Beyond the Waves. And I'm so excited to be here with her today, along with my co-host, Miss Pat Smith. And we have yet some more good information to y'all for y'all. So just buckle up, come on in the room. Barbara. Yes. Hi everybody.
SPEAKER_05Hey everybody.
SPEAKER_02Yes, yes. How are you?
SPEAKER_03Oh, I'm great. The travel was nice. Um, the people here, the culture. Oh my God, just bring me back home. Just bring me back home to the culture, the richness. And the celebration of Freedom Day was amazing. Yes.
SPEAKER_02Okay, yes, yes. Juneteenth. Juneteenth is in the building.
SPEAKER_04Yes, Padda girl.
SPEAKER_02So look, we are all in the room to talk about this amazing, amazing book.
Fear, Faith, And Writing Truth
SPEAKER_02But first, before we get in that, please tell our audience a little bit about yourself, Barbara.
SPEAKER_03Well, to start with, I am a 20-year veteran. Um, I'm the mother of three grown adults. Well, they're they're still my babies. Yeah. Right. Um just this journey to self-discovery and this journey of faith, this journey of resilience. Um, that's what I want to, you know, make sure that we get into as far as battles beyond the waves. Because it's not about the character of what they went through. It is about what you see after the battles. It's how you perceive what the person is going through. You know, that old saying looks can be deceiving, and that is a true statement to this day. Battles Beyond the Waves proves it. All right, all right.
SPEAKER_02So the book is titled Battle Beyond the Waves, and most people understand that battles, that the battles that happened during military service. Um what are the battles beyond the waves that inspired you to write this book?
SPEAKER_03What inspired you? One of the things that inspired me was fear, fear of not knowing, the fear of rejection, the fear of just basically everything, the fear of people talking about you, the fear of being alone, the fear of thinking you're alone. Um but what got me through writing this book was that of faith. You know, I had very little faith in the book, but outside of the book, when it was finished, I was empowered by the amount of faith that I did have in order to complete it, in order to really tell my story in such a way that people not only could relate to the character, they could also hold on to their faith and get through with what they're going through. Right. So let's look, let's back up a little bit and tell.
SPEAKER_02So you are a retired Navy veteran. Yes, ma'am. Yes, retired Navy veteran. Okay. Well, what y'all say? Who y'all? No, ma'am. That's okay. I don't know. We know who y'all, we're who right.
SPEAKER_04That's what we're saying.
SPEAKER_02Come on, ma'am, buddy. What y'all say, ma'am?
SPEAKER_04I can't write now.
SPEAKER_02What the Navy? My daughter used to say it all the time. And she'd be like, come on, man. I'm Army all day. But you are a retired Navy veteran, and the book is a memoir. Yes, ma'am. A full memoir of your life.
SPEAKER_03Well, actually, it's book one is the it goes over the first six years of my service. Okay. The very first six years of my service. Um, there's also a book two, which goes into the actual healing part. Okay. So there will be a book two coming out. Uh, it's due to get released in September. But book one, folks, focuses mainly on the uh trauma endure, the resilience it takes to uh to become one of faith, to become one of strength, to find yourself, to find your voice, to find your basic freedom. And what is freedom tell us? Freedom is letting go and being you. If you can't be you and you're controlled by someone else, you're never free. So once you find that portion of yourself, you tend to really get into the strength of who you are as a woman. Um, not just as a woman, but as a black woman. And I want to make emphasis to that because not every branch celebrates us, right? Not every corporation celebrates us. But this book proves that being a black woman, regardless of what you endure, you can make it. You can't just hold on to your faith. Pray and and be a woman who is determined and who is driven by God's purpose in your life.
SPEAKER_02Right, right. What would you say is the most difficult part about writing a book? I noticed that you mentioned fear. Fear is one of the biggest things, I think, for uh most of us, military veterans, is fear, the next step, the next identity. So, what part of writing this book was the most difficult emotionally?
SPEAKER_03I think learning that fear is actually invisible. We never see fear. Right. We we make it so that we feel it, but we never see it. And sometimes when things are not tangible, they are not real. So I had to make myself believe that fear was not real. That was one of my hardest obstacles. Learning that it was not real, that it was just an emotion. Emotions can be challenged by what we think. So we I had to change my thinking, I had to change my perspective on how I saw things, and most importantly, how I saw myself. Because I didn't see myself as a tangible object. I saw myself as something that was disposable, something that was not needed. That's why I accepted what happened in Battles Beyond the Ways for so long. Because again, it is almost like it was taught. And once you were taught something, you go with that, you stay with that until it is an unlearned behavior. Right. And I had to truly make fear an intangible object. I had to make sure that fear was not going to control me. Right, right.
SPEAKER_02That is the big, that is, that's the biggest thing. Uh, to the fear does control you. It has a big control. And I always tell people, like, you know, God is still working with me. You know, I have to wake up every morning and talk to myself, yeah, you know, to get through those fears. Like right now, my husband is flying. I had to take him to the airport this morning. The first thing what happened is that that fear of him not coming back. I said, Why are you doing this? No, no, no, no, no. If you guys do want that, he'll be back, you know, and then I just, like you said, I pray. Okay.
Two People Wearing One Uniform
SPEAKER_02So um, what do you hold that readers understand about the military life that they do not see from the outside? A lot of us veterans, you know, um, when we come out of the service into that military world, nobody really sees the battles that we have faced, or, you know, the things that we have been through or gone through, even prior to going into the service, we have some underlying issues that we carry from there into the service. And then it just, it's a big old ball that keeps rolling, right? So, what from um what do you want the readers to understand, even our veterans, leaders, and corporate leaders, students, even what do you want them to understand about the military life?
SPEAKER_03I think one of the most important things I want people to take away is that you have two people wearing one uniform. You absolutely have two people. You have the people who has to don that uniform and be what the military, the protector of this country needs you to be. Then you have that second person. That second person has to take that uniform, come home and be that mother, that husband, that spouse, that whoever that person needs to be. And you cannot combine the two because you will lose one. That is the strength of this book. That is what this book focuses on. How do you separate the two uniforms? Yeah, you're wearing that uniform of home, and then you're wearing that uniform of the United States military. Right. So, what do you do? How do you balance? Now, I will be honest, this book does not offer solutions. It's all it offers you an insight of how to how to manage your challenges. There are no solutions, I don't think, to anything because every solution is based on a single person, a personal decision that we all have to make. Right. So for me, my balance beyond the waves was, you know, how do I deal with the both of them? In order to deal with the both the two of them, I had to deal with separation. I had to deal with uh uh uh emotional sickness, so to speak. And I say emotional sickness because I feel like it is something that's in us that makes us uneasy, that anxiety can make us sick. Right. That depression can make us sick. And we don't quite know how to put our hand on it because we know we love the uniform that we're in, because that's why we sign up to serve. We want to support, we want to be in that number to say we saved us. We also want to be that family leader who says that we saved our family. Yeah, but in the end, most people, most people who they can't really, you know, separate the two. They don't know how to bring that balance successfully, and they end up either either losing one, the other, in some incidents. And we both know both exactly.
SPEAKER_02So I like what you said. I heard you saying that um you can't um you can't make uh two, right? I I I think that you know, as you know, I wrote the big take back what we're leaving behind. But you said the big word, decision. Oh, you even though there's no solution in the book, I believe that reading the book, first of all, you'll say, wow, you know, I you can either relate to it or know someone who has been through the same thing or going through that same thing and be like, you know what, okay, now I understand a little bit, but the person needs to make a decision. It's all about decision. Might not be a solution in the book because everybody has a different outcome. Yes. But it's all the step of just making a decision.
SPEAKER_03But you can see yourself if you're going, if you're currently going through and you haven't made it to that stage to make a decision, you know, you can look at that book, you can read it, and you can see where somebody who might be ahead of you. And you can read both your books and you can see, okay, they made it through. I see myself making it through. And them, I see myself making it through. I see myself being able to make that decision as well. Absolutely. Yeah, that's the feeling of coming somebody to say, baby, I know what you go, I know what you went through. This is how I did it. It may not work for you, however, you still have to make a
Self-Advocacy Beyond Quick Prescriptions
SPEAKER_03decision.
SPEAKER_02Uh-huh. And then after that, it's determination that you're gonna stay. So military for us alive, the first thing they push on us is drugs. Yeah, they push them up, the the pharmaceutical drugs. Here, take this, take this. And it's only covering up for covering up, covering it up for a minute. Yep. It's only just it's a band-aid, you know. Math even comes with the the physical, you know. Why not go deeper into you know, reserve the first of all, you gotta, you gotta rally for yourself with your personal idea on whole heart. You gotta rally, you have to be your own self-advocate. Because if you just allow the doctor to say, hey, take this move, take this asking, take this morphine, take this. You just don't be so uh our take personnel, we get what? On drugs, now we're addicted. Right, yes. And it's because you know, what are the ask questions? What are the what are the some of the herbal remedies? What are some of the other evidence?
SPEAKER_03They believe in, they believe in, okay, give me the motion. That the motion is the more and I have to be different. Giving drugs to soldiers that there is. Yeah, and everything is. You'll be all right. It's like you just have to keep it going. Because I remember I was, you know, running with 18th Everyone Corps commander one time. I literally fractured my ankle and kept running. And it was because in my mind, as a soldier, that non-quit attitude, especially in the army, and that's the 18th Airborne Corps commander. It's like you don't quit, you don't give up, you will not fall out. And as an NCO, I had that mentality. So I kept running on a fractured ankle.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03You know, because you don't want to be seen as that failure, that person, yes, not being able to set stay set that high standard, especially as an NCO when you got subordinates looking at you. So we're being a woman. Fan being a woman. Exactly. Because they look at us the first to fail.
SPEAKER_02They're you know a week, or we gotta worry about you, or we gotta do this, or we gotta do that. Absolutely. So, Barbara, as a Navy veteran, uh, how did the milit military service shape the woman you became?
SPEAKER_03I can say this, and I love the Navy. I love the fact that I served. But I will say it was God's grace that actually shaped me. It was not the military, it was not where I came from, it was God's grace. It was the fact that I learned how to hold on to faith. But I kept that first. Then with that, I was able to deal with the rules and regulations that came with the Navy and balance that with what I was going through. So, with that being said, it was God's grace, is all I won't take nothing, I won't give nobody else credit, I won't give my chief credit, I won't have my ex OC, or I cannot give any of them credit for what God's grace had over my life, what his purpose was, what I was destined to do. Because so often we forget that we are uh to understand the purpose of our lives, we often say, Well, God, why am I going through this? God, why am I going through this? You know, you have to go through it. Yes, but it as strange as it sounds, I never questioned his faith because that is not what my grandmother taught me. Don't question what he got, don't question what you're going through. There is a purpose. Because had I not gone through what I went through in this book, I would not be sitting here, educated, trying to get other women to understand and to come out of their shell and talk and talk about it. But I need them to understand that God is real, the God I serve is real. That's real, He makes no mistakes. What you're going through, baby, consider that a rock compared to a mountain.
SPEAKER_05Exactly.
SPEAKER_03Trust and believe, keep your faith in the process, and you will prosper.
Decisions, Patience, And Silent Struggle
SPEAKER_02This is we we're gonna go right to a commercial break and we're gonna come back because y'all, this is some good stuff. Y'all hope you guys are listening, but we'll be right back after this commercial break. Here at the House of Humanity, we serve those families in need. Donate or get involved today by visiting www.thehouse of humanity.org. So join us because here at the House of Humanity, we are truly making a way. All right, welcome back after this commercial break. Look, the behind the scenes good conversations are ahead. So I want to go back to what we were just talking about. What we said, I said your grandmother told you about the F and Angel and people need to hear that. Go ahead, Barb.
SPEAKER_03One of the things um I was taught about making decisions uh for my grandmother, Lord rest the soul, is that you will always have an angel on one side of your shoulders and you got the devil on the other side of your shoulders. What makes you is what decision are you going to make? Are you gonna listen to that angel or are you gonna listen to the devil? And trust and believe, this one right here is it is talking about loudest. It's gonna always have the quickest decision to your problem. It's gonna fix it really quick. This one is telling you to hold keep your faith, be determined, be still. I'm coming for you, I am not leaving you behind. This one is telling you, not right now. I need to do this right now, right now, right now. Right. And so often we mistake what we're hearing for what the delta is saying. Exactly. And we make those nature decisions that cost us so much, so much heartache, you know, so much financial ruin, yes, so much, so many health issues. Yes. You know, so we we have to really sit, be still and be able to.
SPEAKER_02But you know how many you and I I used to be one of them young people. That's why I try to relate to the young people. How many young people I talked to on, Dr. Burton, I want to be where you at right now. I want I can't wait to be out of like, do you know how long it took me to go for a sister? You know, it took blood, sweat, too. Even my children look at me like, oh mom, I just wanna, I just want to live the life that you live. Why my life got to be so hard? I'm like, first of all, you military raised. Okay, y'all ain't struggling. You are not struggling like most people are struggling.
SPEAKER_05Yes.
SPEAKER_02Okay, you're not struggling, and then you know it's a balance because you know when we have those what we're calling uh military progress. For me, I had to have a balance of mine. So they didn't have everything, but they they wanted for nothing. But so now I just try to say that hey, you have your path. Do y'all remember the days, the nights that I cried as a single mom in the military trying to make it? Yeah, yes. We could walk past, well, not walk past, we would drive, I would take them for drives because we didn't have much money and we would just go in the nice areas and look at the house. Look at the house. We won't be in the house like that. You know, look at how that was one of our things, especially during Christmas time, like look at the lights and stuff like that. But all the time that I'm driving, showing them the lights, because we ain't got none. Right. And I'm making them happy by looking at this, and you know, just driving the tears, we cry silently as women on the inside, and nobody knows the pains or the struggles that we're going through. And I used to have to tell them, remember those times when we're drunk? Yeah, I was crying on the inside.
SPEAKER_04Right.
SPEAKER_02But I was determined to get and persistent that I'm gonna get there. Yes. You know, um, I used to be angry because you know, I would go to church and I would, you know, I would be just crying like, Lord, I need some help. And sometimes you get that feeling like you're by yourself. God is not listening. Why I'm a good person. Why are you not listening to me? Why am I struggling? And if I if I'm right, I'm I'm I know that we can we all relate on this. Right. So I was being church, and this is the thing, and I know a lot of people out here are faced with this. And I want you to know that you have three women right here that are living proof. And this is why I like that a lot of us military are stuck, not just um women, but men too, are stepping up to be that leader outside the military. Right. We're starting to police our own. But I went to church and I was just crying, crying, crying. I'll never forget an evangelist came over to me and I'm drunk in church. The girl was drunk in church, okay. Sit in the cube, just drunk, dry. You can smell it. But I was just like, you know, we again, that's that simple thing, baby. Yeah, was the alcohol for me. And because I'm like, God ain't listening, he ain't here. And I just was talking, she came over and you know, praying with me, laying hands, and hold on. God gonna send you a good man out of all of that stuff. You got a good man. I'm gonna tell you that I'm gonna tell him with you what you already got with your world. You have you living. I'm struggling. Yeah. Trying to make it so my children don't know that we're in the struggle because they didn't need y'all have food. Y'all had everything you needed. You had food, you had clothes. I was good because I was in the uniform. Yes. You know what I'm saying? But look, look, I did a little strange to make a little change, actually change in the military. We'll talk about that later. But in the middle, we had to struggle. We had to struggle to get where we are. And it's just that that hold on is a serious thing. Yes. And it's it's truthful. You have to be patient. But sometimes you can't be patient when your stomach is growling.
SPEAKER_03But yes, the thing about it is that when you're looking at somebody else, that's not your path. Yeah. Yes. That's that person's path. Every person's path is different. No two are the same. They might fall along similar lines, but they're not exactly the same. You learn lessons from that that make you stronger to do what you do today. Everybody has to go through their trials and tribulations because it's just like a diamond is refined in that coal and out there in the ground before it's taken to the jeweler and polished up. That's how we are. We're the diamond in the roof. You have to go through those trials and tribulations so you can get polished. That's right. So you can be able to a diamond once it's polished is unbringable. Unstoppable too. Exactly. And you know, so you have to you have to go through your trials and tribulations. And I tell my sons, you gotta wait, you gotta go through. You can't look at me. I say, you don't have anything I have, but you don't have yours yet. You're making yours. What I have is not what you have. What I have is for me. I will help you, I will help guide you, but you have to sit down and be still and listen to God. And I say, in the most turmoil of times, when you're going through, like you said, you had alcohol. We all go through something that we dig ourselves into cutting ourselves off from friends and family and being in our room and not talking to people, not trusting people. Just sometimes, you know, just for me, it was like just constantly being a medical fight for everything that I had to just to actually stay alive, you know, for such a long time, um, dealing with stuff. And we have to step back. We have to be like, okay, God, I hear you, I know it's something I'm supposed to learn. I'm listening. This is a purpose.
SPEAKER_02It's a purpose for me to go through. Everybody has their own path, that's their own battle.
SPEAKER_03That is why we never ever asked to walk in something. Somebody else's shoes. Yes. See, that never do not ask to, I don't care how good those shoes think they are. I don't care how great those those red bottoms look on her feet. Ma'am, you don't know what she had to walk through to get to that level. Please humble yourselves, stay in your lane and trust and believe your lane is your purpose. Stop thinking that it's not. Yeah, we all have our purpose set up for us. I had people say that to me, I wish I had like, if you knew what I went through just mentally alone, you'd be broken. I said, because if I sat here and tell you all the times I had to literally fight just to be alive, and all the times I you wouldn't either, you'd be like, no, Pat, I'm good. I said, because dealing with those are my battle stars that I carry. I don't, I don't look like, well, God, why me? Because if they can flog him, if they can crucify him on the cross, who am I to even complain? Complaint, yes, ma'am. Yes, ma'am.
SPEAKER_02So many people want to start with religion and track God ain't real. I've heard that too. God ain't real because why would he take let me go through this? So I've heard, I've heard that too.
SPEAKER_03He is real. Yeah, we got. And if he can go through what he went through, what makes you think you're better than him and you will go through nothing?
Breast Cancer And Real Support
SPEAKER_03I tell y'all, the first time that I was faced with actually dying was when I developed breast cancer. And uh great doctor, my oncologist, Dr. Matthew Duke of 21st century oncology, he has since retired. When I first got diagnosed with breast cancer, he gave me two options. He didn't shoot me code anything. He said, You don't have to do anything and you're gonna die. He said, or you can go through these treatments that I got set up for you and it'll prolong your life. I'm not gonna guarantee that you're gonna live as between you and your God. This is what this doctor told me. This man was my oncologist up until last year when he retired. And everything he told me to do, and every time I went to that office, this man prayed. This was a praying doctor. And I I I I sobbed when he sat me down and told me, he said, I'm going to retire. He said, but I promise I'm going to leave you in the best hands that I know. So that moment when he told me that when I first developed breast cancer was a life, was another life-changing moment for me to understand what fate looked like, how to hold on to it, and what God's purpose was for my life. Because you don't have nothing else to hold on. When you're when, and this I first have people like, well, yeah, I've been through this, or I had uh I had the flu and I didn't think. I said, no, when I mean your fight for your life, I mean in the hospital, literally on the machine at the brink of death. Yes, ma'am. I said, that's where I was. Yes. And I said, when you don't have nothing else to hold on to, I said, I've always, I was like you, my parents were like, you know, God is real. I went to church from the time I was out the woman, you know. And in situations like that, I always say, you find out who your friends are in the world, but I know who's never gonna forsake me. And it's just like he never forsake Bree. She might have felt alone, but he was like, Brie, I got you. I know you don't see it, but stop trying to see it. Just listen for me. Yes, and I will, I will open the doors, will come open for you. And they will, you will be, I will guide you through. It's just like now her doing the book and her doing all her um other things that she does. God is seeing her through.
SPEAKER_02That's for all of us. Yes, yes. That's for all of us. So your book touches on family, motherhood, and resilience. How do those roles play an impact? Uh impact your ability to navigate adversity. So we heard you talk about breast cancer and everything. How did that role play in the skin?
SPEAKER_03Um, I won't lie. I won't lie and say it wasn't scary at first, but I will, I have to go back to my faith because the average person does not understand what is meant by that mustard seed. They don't understand that that mustard seed has to be planted, it has to be nurtured. It before you can see the harvest of it. Yes. And once you understand the purpose of that mustard seed, it wasn't just a word that was put in the Bible. It was something that was placed there for us to understand what we needed to do. Because we have to also do the work to make our harvest come clear, to blossom it, to make it grow. And I learned not to bottle everything together. You can't. That's why I said you could you had two women, one that was in the military and one that had to go home and be that mother. You could not bottle the two of them together. That's disaster.
SPEAKER_02What role did the family play in your healing journey? And your family is here with you. They are beautiful, I have had their pleasure. What role did they play? Well, some of the family.
SPEAKER_03One, I give you one good instance. When I was, again, when I was diagnosed with breast cancer, uh one of the nurses, uh, my breast nurse, uh, nurse Nikki, um, she was explaining, going over uh removal of the breast. She said, you know, it's your choice. You can keep one that's not infected, or you can get rid of the other one, or you can do a bilateral and get rid of both, and that's going to decrease your chances of it coming back. So uh without hesitation, my husband is sitting there. He said, Oh, we get rid of both of them. I said, Oh, we get rid of both of them. And she it it shocked her because she's like, wait, wait, I'm talking to your wife here. This is a bike. What did you say? Chances of what coming where? He said, No, no, we ain't got it. We don't make, he said, one he told this woman, he said, her breasts don't make her. That's right. He said, Her breasts do not make her. So, yes, we where do I do I need to sign anything? She said, No, Mr. Ryan, we're gonna we gotta come here. But what she told my husband was that so often when we have to go through changes, our support system dies out. Yes, yeah, yes, and that prolongs our healing. And it was hurtful to hear her say that when women come in there, they fight with trying to save a breast, they fight with trying to save it to appease their other hand, their partner, just for something that is simply a steady.
SPEAKER_04Yep.
SPEAKER_03So that is the support system that I get from my family.
SPEAKER_02Wow. We're gonna go to the commercial break and we will be right back with the end of Sunday.
SPEAKER_05Daddy, there's water dripping on my face.
SPEAKER_00I shouldn't have waited. I knew this was gonna happen.
SPEAKER_02Welcome
Healing Is A Feeling
SPEAKER_02back, everybody. So this has been, I'm telling you, this has been amazing. So the hitting battles, right? The hitting battles, many people look at veterans and be like, uh, they assume that we are naturally strong. They are right, you know what I'm saying? They don't, they can handle anything. They, you know, they Navy, I don't know what the Navy's saying is, but we already strongly, right, you know. So what does healing look like for someone who has spent years surviving? Because I look at you right now, and we all, me and Patty, talk about this all the time. Like, what is somebody who went through something supposed to look like? I look at you right now and say, I would have never thought that you went through any of the struggles, the cancer, any of the struggles that you write about in your book, because you just look amazing. So what is uh what does that look like for somebody who has been years surviving? I will say this.
SPEAKER_03Healing, what does the healing look like? I won't healing is not what it looks like. I will say healing is what it feels like. There's no image of healing. Healing is a feeling. When you feel confident, when you stick to saying I'm blessed, regardless of how much or how little you have, that is a healing to me. When you decide that no matter how much money I have compared to how little I have, that is a healing, because I have not a need alone as long as I believe and hold on to my faith. As you should not, because there's not a hungry man as long as the word of the Bible says that's what we get fed from his word. So we are healed. We just have to say that we believe it, and we have to hold on to that belief, which leads to our faith. How much faith do you have to say, I'm going to and I have to endure all of this in order to heal? And you will, you will heal. Healing is not a scar, it is invisible. Healing and faith to me goes hand in hand. Once you start healing, your faith becomes so much stronger. I mean, it's unbreakable. So that person on your shoulder, first of all, sorry. Not a day, not a day saying like that. Then you that that word of God strengthens you. You hear it more. You become silent to all of the adversity that is out there, all of the opposition that goes against you. So that is my healing. That is how I heal from this. I stopped thinking that I was supposed to, and I and I don't mean this to say, I stopped thinking that I was supposed to forgive people.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_03I know we're supposed to forgive people, but we can't forgive people if we don't forgive ourselves first. Because how how do I take care of you if I'm sick? Take care of me. Yeah. I you can't, you can't do it. I can't take care of you if you're sick, if I'm sick, I got to heal first. So I had to dig deep and look and see what was forgiveness to me. How do I forgive people that this the sinister acts that they committed against me? First, I had to forgive myself. I had to tell myself that it wasn't my fault. However, it was my decision, so I had to hold myself accountable for that part that I played. And once I did that, oh, the picture became clear. I was able to walk away. I was able to sleep. I was able to sleep. I was uh and I say sleep twice because I was able to rest. Rest.
SPEAKER_02Right. You wrote 89, 86, 86 novels. Yes, ma'am.
SPEAKER_03In two years, years let me tell y'all how good God is, and this isn't for everybody, this is only for faith believers. When I began to write battles beyond words, it was not me. And I don't know who's not gonna believe it or who's going to believe it. But I did not put, I did not remove myself from my computer until I had written 86 novels. When God got done with me, he put that pen down. I could not write another word. I could not write a I my husband would come in and room, Barbara, you need to get off the computer, you need to get off. You've been here 3:30 in the morning, get off the computer. And I said, Sweet, I can't. It's flowing. I don't understand. I and some of the books that I have written that I will share later on, some of the books that I have written, I had zero knowledge of, zero concept of. So when people tell me, how did you write those? I tell them it wasn't me, it was God. He he this was my purpose. This was my purpose. This is how I wrote them books in two years. 86 manuscripts complete with illustrations. When I tell y'all I created Jack Ratter pumpkin publishing from the mouth, from the words of God, I'm telling you, what He did for me may not be what He wants to do for you. But if your faith, your belief, and your love for the Word of God is there, He gonna make it happen.
SPEAKER_02And yes, he will. Yes, he will. Wow. Okay. Well, God is saying, I just say, I don't know, but I done feel like that that is truly God. Look, I I I know that he is real. I mean, we talk on the phone, and he's like, I know you ain't gonna believe me. Yes, I do. Yes, yes, I do, because he is real, and it takes it takes for you to feel a touch of his hand or uh a thing of a for him to save you to truly understand to truly understand.
Purpose, Peace, And Unbreakable Faith
SPEAKER_02So how do we merely move? How can we tell our audience? How do we merely move uh move from merely enduring life to actually living it?
SPEAKER_03One of the things I would say is be a willing participant of what his will is and his purpose is for your life. What if they say I don't know my purpose? That's the point. You got to be willing to believe what is not there. But you can't see.
unknownGo ahead.
SPEAKER_03You got to be, you got to be. I would have never thought through everything that I went through that I would be a published author with my own publishing company that I honestly did with zero outside help. Everything about this was taught from the Almighty High. Believe what you want, believe how you want. I'm just gonna tell you my experience with this man, and it ain't gonna change. That's it, that's all. I don't care what nobody else believes, which I used to, that's why I went through so much adversity. But once I removed that, he made it clear, crystal clear. This is what I want you to do. This is how I want you to do it.
SPEAKER_02Look, the baby take back. Yes, ma'am. Okay, what was what was it your voice, your peace, your identity, your confidence, or something else?
SPEAKER_03What did you take back? I took back pieces. I took back piece. I took back piece. It wasn't identity because I am a child of God. I already knew who I was. I already knew that I had to believe it. I had to believe it. And to believe something, you got to put in the work, which makes me makes me go back to our first word that we said that we spoke about. Decision. Yes. Donald Dean is up the morning every day.
SPEAKER_02Decision and time decision and determination. Yeah, I've read them on every day that I walk and I move forward. So, what would you like to tell the military spouse, the family member, uh who has quietly sacrificed alongside their loved one? Um, for instance, you know, your husband, uh, your family had to make sacrifice. What would you tell a spouse or family member who has quietly sacrificed alongside their loved one?
SPEAKER_03I'm going back to what I truly believe in: having faith and making the decision to hold on to that faith and believe in God for your purpose. It's as simple as that. But we make it harder when we decide to go get something so simple because we want to fix it. We gotta get out of our own way. We got to we we we fixing it. Why are we fixing it? Why we won't let God fix it for us? Why are we sitting here making these messed up decisions to fix it? Why would we go?
unknownThank you.
SPEAKER_03Thank you. We just need to get out of the way and let God do His best. That's right.
SPEAKER_02That's right. That's right. So, legacy, what do you hope that the readers uh remember long after if they finish this book? Once they finish your books and many others, what do you hope that they um remember?
SPEAKER_03I want them to remember what faith feels like. I want them to hold on to what a blessing actually looks like in real life. See, this book was a curse that turned into a blessing. You have to understand that your walk is your walk, nobody else's. So once you get that understood, oh my god, you talking my doors are opening?
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_03What? Yeah, they can't shut their door. Right. You got the key to all of them. If you're walking through with your head up, wow. Nothing nobody can say to you about your past that's gonna make you change or hurt you in any way. Because if you want to know something about me and not listening to the gossip, right here. Right, yeah. It's in the boat.
SPEAKER_02Go ahead and get it, right? And that's power. That's that's that's power. That's like taking back your power. Like I feel that I feel that 100%, right? We just talked about some things I was just saying that hit just so well. Barbara, um, what does being unstoppable mean to Barbara Rightlift? What does unstoppable mean? To you.
SPEAKER_03I view unstoppable as having unbreakable faith. Because if you let somebody break your faith or alter your belief, you're gonna stop dead in your tracks every time because you're questioning. And when you start to question, you begin to experience setbacks. Yep. And most people will request a setback, will equate a setback with a comeback. You shouldn't always have to have a comeback if you stayed your path the first time. Right. Because you'll never get to sit again.
SPEAKER_02Exactly. It has been a pleasure. I mean, it has been a pleasure. You most definitely will be back. You hear me? You heard. Did y'all hear me? I know y'all heard me. I don't know if she heard me, but she's coming back. It has been a true, truly a blessing and honor just to be here with you, hear your story and everything that you have been through, and see your resilience and your determination and decisions that you're making and giving it to the most
Where To Find The Book
SPEAKER_02high. So where can we, our audience, where can our audience find your book? Or where can they find you? Give them all the information that they need to find Miss Barbara Ratliff.
SPEAKER_03We need that information. Well, I am on Jack Rabbit Park and Publishing is on Facebook. Um, also, if you would desire a copy of the book, you can get it from Amazon, or you can uh basically go on Jack Rabbit Park and Publishing and say, hey, I want a copy of the books and I'm gonna answer your uh emails and requests and we can set up a payment plan from there.
SPEAKER_02And that's good because get it from Jack Brabbit Pumpkin Publishing, because Amazon takes oh no.
SPEAKER_03So if somebody wants to get published, if somebody out there wants to write a book and they want to get published by Jack Bra, what steps do they need to take? One of the things they need to do is understand that I'm only taking believers. Right. If you don't believe in yourself or the story you wrote, I I can't I get I can't talk to you. Right, I can't direct you. I need people who are serious about their material to contact Jack Rabbit Punk and Publishing and say, hey, I have a manuscript. What are my steps? I am I'm not a gatekeeper. I will send you step by step instructions on what you need to be. But first you have to be willing. Right. You got to want to. Don't rely on somebody else to do it for you. That's what you have to do.
SPEAKER_02And with that being already said, the battles don't end when the service ends. Sometimes the hardest battles is finding yourself again. I'm Dr. Bree Charles with the lovely uh Barbara Rat, Miss Barbara Ratless, and my co-host, Miss Pat Smith. Thank you all for joining me, and we will see you again on the other side.
Final Take-Back And Closing
SPEAKER_02If today's conversation challenged you, don't let it end here. Subscribe to this channel, share this episode with someone who needs it. Pick up your copy of the big take back, What I Left Behind, by going to my website, www.b3unstoppable.net. And if you're looking for a transformational speaker for your organization, you can visit that same website, www.b3unstoppable.net. Until next time, this is Dr. Bree Charles reminding you it's time to take it back. And we're doing that by breaking cycles and building everlasting legacies.
SPEAKER_01Some fires destroy you, others rebuild you. From trauma to triumph, your pain can become your purpose. Let's become unstoppable.