Letting Go While Holding On: How to Support Independence Without Losing Connection

This insightful episode explores the delicate balance between giving teens independence and maintaining connection—what we call "letting go while holding on."

Drawing from neuroscience research, personal experiences, and work with hundreds of families, this episode uncovers the biological reasons behind this universal parenting challenge and offers practical solutions.

Listen as we explore:

• The "elastic band theory" of parenting teens—finding the perfect tension between freedom and support
• Signs you might be holding on too tightly or letting go too completely
• The surprising "autonomy paradox"—how appropriate independence actually strengthens connection
• Cultural considerations in balancing traditional values with modern independence
• Practical strategies that have transformed parent-teen relationships across diverse families

We dive into research-backed approaches including:

• The gradual release approach—building independence like a muscle
• The "independence project" method for developing life skills
• Shifting from interrogative "check-ups" to supportive "check-ins"
• Honouring parental feelings without letting them dictate all decisions

Whether you're struggling with a teen's first steps toward independence or navigating the complex cultural dimensions of letting go, this episode provides the guidance needed to transform this challenging phase into an opportunity for growth—for both you and your teen.

Remember, the push and pull you feel isn't a sign that something's wrong—it's exactly how it should be. This tension creates the perfect conditions for your teen to develop their wings while you remain their safe landing spot.

✨ Blooming Where We're Planted Workshop

It's a space for you to breathe, reflect, and reconnect with who you are as a woman, a mother, and someone navigating life in a new land.

📍 Sister Project Community Hub, Ellenbrook

🗓️ Saturday 9 August 2025

🕙 10:00 AM – 2:00 PM

✨ You'll find the registration link here👇🏾

https://mailchi.mp/1c186d41493d/bloom

😊Ready to take your parent-teen relationship to the next level?

💕Check out the Parent-Teen Bond Builder Audit for a personalised roadmap designed for your unique family journey.👇🏾

https://endagilbert.com/parentteenbondbuilder/

📖 The 28-Day Self-Compassion Booster Journal is a gentle companion for parents of tweens and teens ready to replace guilt with grace, and burnout with balance. 👇🏾

https://mailchi.mp/endagilbert.com/selfcompassionjournal

🫂The BREATHE Response Technique a step-by-step method to prevent heated moments from escalating. FREE Download👇🏾

https://endagilbert.com/breathwork/

📖Transform your relationship with your teen through conflict-free boundaries. Download 'The FREE Ultimate Guide to Setting Boundaries MINUS the conflicts' 👇🏾

https://endagilbert.com/settingboundaries/

✨FOLLOW @endagilbertcoaching

LinkedIn @ Enda Gilbert

WEBSITE www.endagilbert.com

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