salty bake club

The Truth is...

• sara grace • Season 1 • Episode 10

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Here is where you get in touch. Work with me, share your experience or requests > this is how to reach me. Love, - Sara

Happy 10th episode, Salty Bake Club! To celebrate this milestone, I've baked us a cake and served up something different - a raw, unfiltered look at the woman behind the microphone.

When I launched this podcast, I wasn't sure anyone would listen. I simply knew I needed a space where I wouldn't be confined to the boxes people put me in - not just the yogi, the baker, or the traveler. This is my happy place where I can be both fire and doubt, where truth gets messy and is always sprinkled with salt.

Today's episode, "The Truth Is," reveals what's behind the curtain. I share how frustrating it feels to be put in boxes and my strong urge to shatter those limitations. I open up about the loneliness of building a yoga community where most people only show up when it's easy or free. 

Perhaps most vulnerable is my admission about the risks I take speaking my truth on topics like Palestine and patriarchy, knowing there could be real consequences. And despite talking about vulnerability regularly, I confess that it feels physically awful - like standing outside my body with a racing heart - a sensation that practice doesn't eliminate.

I also explore my complicated relationship with capitalism's idea of success, the unseen discipline required to teach yoga without diminishing sacred teachings, and my ongoing journey to surrender control when life inevitably changes my plans.

This episode is messier, softer, and maybe even more authentically me. I invite you to join this ripple effect by sharing your own truths - not the Instagram-worthy ones, but those you hold close to your chest. DM me or use #saltytruth, and I might read them in future episodes. After all, we're just getting started.

Speaker 1:

happy 10th episode salty bake club. This is the very first milestone that we are celebrating together, so I baked us a cake. Can you believe it? I am really happy to be here today. To be fully honest, when I started this podcast, I wasn't sure that anybody would listen. I just knew I needed a place where I would be not confined as just the yogi, just a baker, just that adventurous, traveling girl. I wanted a place where I could be whoever the F I want to be and share my truths unfiltered. This here is my happy place, where I can be both fire and doubt, where the truth gets a little bit messy and is always sprinkled with a little bit of salt. So today we are blowing out candles together and before we cut the cake, I want to cut to the core, because this episode is a little different. This episode is for me, but also for you, for all the ones who want to show up, who seek truth, who seek courage, who seek a life where they don't have to hide any part of themselves. That is why today's episode is called the Truth Is. Why today's episode is called the Truth Is this is my attempt in sharing what's behind the curtains, a little bit of behind the scenes of me, of who that woman that you're listening to is. I want to share some truths with you and, to be fully honest, I didn't know really where to start. I had some ideas of what could be a little more difficult to share than what I shared in the 10 episodes before, but I did not want to neatly select questions that would be easy for me to answer. What I did is I told Chet GBT about this podcast structure and I said make it hard for me, like, ask me questions and help me filter out some truths that require a little bit of courage and show you who is listening or watching some sides of me that you might not have seen or heard yet.

Speaker 1:

The truth is, I am more than the boxes people put me in. I'm more than your yoga teacher. I'm more than the girl with the nice aesthetics on Instagram. I am a work in progress. I'm fractured and I'm learning and I stumble so often. One of my core values is courage, and courage is something that is acquired in the hard moments. I love to do crazy adventures. I love to try out something that sparks a fire in me. The Bali girlies would say yeah, of course she's an Aries, I don't just like things. I burn for the things that I really like. That is why I passionately created a life of many, many things that bring me joy, and there are people that know me from different scenarios, different hobbies, so they associate me with these hobbies or boxes, and I can't really tell you why it annoys me so much that I'm so often confined to a box, but I feel the strong urge to shatter them all.

Speaker 1:

I want to show myself as the work in progress, as the fractured woman. I am the work in progress, as the fractured woman. I am as a soft, sometimes fearful human, without people doubting my strength, and I know I'm not alone with this. It's so easy to show up when you feel strong, but it is really hard to show up in your weakness without doubting your own strength, and at the same time, it's really hard for people around you to not once again put you in the next box of weakness, of softness. If you show up like that With the people that I trust, I can be vulnerable. I can show them my weakness without them doubting my strength. And the truth is, I wish more people in this world would be as wide-eyed to hold two seemingly opposing parts at the same time.

Speaker 1:

I'm gonna need a lot of cake for this episode and, in salty bay club manner, I'm totally eating it with my fingers. By the way, this is a peach pecan pie with a white chocolate ganache. Let's move on to the next. The truth is, this one is hard for me. I poured all my money, my time, my effort, my energy into building trees and stories. That is, my yoga teacher trainings. I say my, but we are such a great team. I'm not leading it alone. I have this brilliant business partner. She is a total boss, babe. I'm so proud of what we have created as a symbiosis. But back to my point. I've poured so much into this community, and it's been five years. I've led over, I believe, 10 200-hour yoga teacher trainings and numerous continuous education trainings. There is over a hundred yoga teachers that I have certified. I really aimed for this community to feel like a home, but here we go.

Speaker 1:

The truth is, most days I feel quite alone in this community. I know that it is my responsibility to hold and facilitate the container but, as I said, most of the times I feel like I'm the only one, or me and my business partner. We are the only ones tending the fire. There is literally only a handful of people who show up regularly, and with showing up I mean that they are contributing to this community. Most people and as I said, that's over 100, probably closer to 200 people in this community they only show up when it's easy or free.

Speaker 1:

And I struggle with that because a community, a real connection, is a two-way street and as a teacher, I also come from a lineage where I learned to really cherish the ones that came before me, the ones that passed on that knowledge for me. So, cherishing my teachers, cherishing the people who stand behind me in my lineage I don't want to shit talk anybody, please don't get that wrong, but in the society that we live, most people are so self-absorbed, and that isn't even because they're bad people, that isn't even because they are egoistic people. Well, at some point it's the ego again. But what I want to say is that so many people they get struck in their own life struggles and they forget to serve, they forget to give back, they forget to look out and actually contribute to the connections they have in their lives. And yes, this applies to the yoga teacher trainings and my yoga community, but also to so many friends or colleagues that I have and see.

Speaker 1:

And when we look at yoga, the word literally means connection. So for me, the first and the most sincere step of yoga that you can do is practice connection, meaning give and take, be part of the whole, and the truth is I have no clue how I should deal with that. For each truth I get a piece of cake. Next one the truth is, everything comes at a cost. I learned this over the past few years Regarding this podcast.

Speaker 1:

I believe people underestimate what risks I take to speak my truth. Let's look at the last couple episodes. I did an interview with my really dear friend Ila of talking about Palestine, and I did that knowingly that many people and I've heard that over social media. Plus, I had personal experiences with people I know who were not able to enter the US because they were vocal about Palestine on their social media. So I knew that speaking about bringing Palestine online would come with the cost of maybe not being able to travel to the US for the next couple of years. And if you think that's over-exaggerated, do your research.

Speaker 1:

Looking at my patriarchy or my intimacy episode, I know that there's quite a lot of male family members who think that I'm totally stepping out of line, that I have no business speaking up about these things, that what I say in these episodes is widely exaggerated. I still do it. I know that there are so many people out there in the world wide web, but also in my really close circle, that will disagree with what I say. But another core value of mine is to really practice my values, and that means integrity, and sharing my truth is such a huge thing for me. The truth is, I am well aware of the risks I'm taking and the backlash that some of my words might have, and yet I'm speaking them and I'm showing up as the woman that I want to be and not as the fearful little girl that I might have been years ago, and I'm very willing to pay the price for it. And it wouldn't be me if I wouldn't turn the table a little bit and ask you right here where are you not showing up in life the way you want to show up? Because you are afraid of the price you'd have to pay? And I'll leave you with that.

Speaker 1:

Proceeding to my next truth, if you have been at one of my yoga teacher trainings, if you have listened to any of the past episodes, you know that I speak about vulnerability a lot. The truth is, vulnerability feels like shit. It feels awful even in my body, and I'm not just saying that as a body sensation. I often feel like I am getting a thin skin. I sometimes feel like a ghost of me when I'm in a situation where I am vulnerable. I almost want to describe the physical sensation as not being in my body anymore. It's like I'm standing next to myself or slightly behind my body and I also notice that my heart is racing, that my body temperature is rising. It's a very, very uncomfortable feeling and it's a feeling that you do not get used to, even though you practice it day by day. It is indeed a feeling that you can get to know and that way it doesn't scare you off that easily anymore, so you're more able to stand in that discomfort. But the discomfort itself doesn't go away. But it's the only way to build real courage and, as I said before, one of my core values. So I gotta do what is necessary to get there, to get to that courage part, even though it's hard and, honestly, some of those episodes have felt very vulnerable.

Speaker 1:

Oh, if you've listened to the very first episode. Honestly, I cannot listen to it because it felt so, so vulnerable. Before I recorded that first Salty Bake Club episode, it has been a long, long, long, long, long time that I did something completely new, that I did something. That alone should tell you that I felt freaking vulnerable and it felt awful. Again. I cannot even watch that episode. I'm kind of scared to go back and listen to it just because of the physical sensation that I had. And I have no idea. Maybe you see it, maybe you notice it, maybe you thought I was professional If so, I credit that to my teaching experience but it felt very vulnerable. I hate the next one. Let me get out a peach from the inside of the cake. I get the soft and tender core of it, mm, mm-mm-mm.

Speaker 1:

The truth is I didn't think I was tied to capitalism's idea of success anymore, and I'm sure there were times in my life where that tie softened a lot, and particularly around that time when I didn't own much. I literally had a time in my life where everything I owned was a backpack and a box on my grandma's attic. That was the time where I didn't really have a home, where I practiced yoga as vigorously as never before in my life and I will say I was in a very spiritual high. But then I came back to Europe and, step by step, I settled there again and now it's been a couple of years where I have built businesses, I've created a home with my partner and I'm noticing that the busy Western schedule and the things we accumulate just like that have somehow tied me into the knot of consumerism again. The truth is, I sometimes value my success in numbers and timelines, in how efficient I work and how much I get done, and that hurts.

Speaker 1:

Truth is, I'm not fully certain if I will be able to unravel that while I'm maintaining both my feet in this society, because it's really easy to detangle when I spend most of my time in Bali or India, where I'm not so closely tied to the attachment I've built within myself over my entire life. But I do know that the little decisions, the everyday decisions, they make a huge difference and I'm working on it. I'm still learning to craft a life where I can take the most sincere decisions day by day, and sometimes I fail. Sometimes I do shop at Zara because their color palette and their patterns are so great on my body and sometimes I've got to pause and take a breath in between my work meetings, but I'm so grateful and blessed that I have a partner that keeps nudging me out of those tight schedules and who reminds me to take a breath. So the truth is, those non-attachment practices and unraveling from capitalism, consumerism, is hard when you're right in the middle of it. But I've decided to not escape, to stay right there, to not escape, to stay right there and to change my relationship to it, not excessively, but gradually, step by step, over time. For the next one, I'm jumping right back into the yoga world.

Speaker 1:

The truth is that there's so much unseen discipline in what I do. Being a teacher requires you to show up again and again out of pure intention in those moments when nobody's clapping, and there's a lot of really shiny, really beautiful moments and experiences with other people. But let me tell you, most of it happens behind the scenes. Once again, I'm so freaking glad that I'm having my partner, because I couldn't juggle that business without her, and right now I'm noticing that I'm both calling my business partner and my romantic partner both my partner. So that might be a little confusing, but you might get it from the context Back to my point.

Speaker 1:

In a world that wants bite-sized beige marketing templates, I see so many teachers who sell fast and are very quote-unquote successful, but it's mostly exactly those teachers and once again, I don't want to shit talk. I have a ton of respect for everybody who's teaching yoga and who's doing the work. A ton of respect for everybody who's teaching yoga and who's doing the work, but a lot of people out there really compromise the teachings. Yoga is such a vast practice. It is really challenging to create classes teaching words, instagram quotes when you want to give and not diminish those vast, sacred teachings. So a lot of the discipline that I spoke about that happens behind the curtains is not only doing the teacher. Things in the spotlight, like teaching the classes, teaching the YTTs that comes so easy to me by now.

Speaker 1:

The really tricky part is those unseen parts of being a yoga teacher, because I'm not confined to a niche. It would be so much easier to sell those YTTs when I would have my focus on please don't take that personally. I'm not speaking about anything or attacking anybody personal. I'm simply speaking my truth here. It would be so much easier if I would show you my three drills for backbends, for handstands, for I don't know, you name it. I hope you get my point. But what I believe in is that yoga is so big and vast and it is my responsibility to not diminish those teachings or to grab a bite size of it and sell it, because it's easy to sell things that people can comprehend, but those huge, huge, vast, sacred teachings, they're really hard to comprehend. So how do you market that? And that is the trickiest part of my behind the scenes work and I really struggle to get that across. So if you have any ideas, please write in. That will be very, very appreciated. Please write in. That will be very, very appreciated.

Speaker 1:

Last one from my side is something that I've really learned over the past year. Because life changes so rapidly for me in so many beautiful but also challenging ways, I had to once again surrender my plans. The truth is, I'm still learning to soften my palms and let go of control Once again. That was so easy for me in those times when I traveled, when I was this social yogic butterfly, but now, with my feet on the ground, with a house that I'm living in, with a relationship that I'm deeply and wholeheartedly committed to, with two businesses in my life, it is quite a challenge to let go of the narrative that I planned for all of this, because my freaking god, life keeps changing. The story for me emphasize here is really for me because noticing that even the changes that I do not want come for me is a realization that really helped me to soften my palms, soften my, my heart space, and I don't want to say passively surrender to the path that life rolls out before me, but to loosen the grip and, at the same time, to actively engage in whatever life presents. And I've been at that point probably around 35 times. I've learned that lesson so often in my life, but that the past year, and especially the past two months, have taught me a really deep layer of what it means to let go of my plans and to be thrown into a completely different direction.

Speaker 1:

And now I want to know your truths, not the Instagrammable ones, but the ones that you still hold close to your chest. I want to start something, a ripple effect, a truth chain. So if you feel cold, write me on Instagram, comment under this podcast and share your truths. And if there really are some truths collecting in my little truth bucket, then I will read them in one of the next episodes. So, once again, dm me, post it on your own page, write it on a cake, whatever resonates, and let's all use the hashtag salty truths. This episode was a little messier, a little softer and maybe even a little more me, and I want to thank you if you've made it so far. Really thank you for listening, you being here, that's a truth I'm really grateful for, and you know what the truth is. We're just getting started. So happy 10th episode Salty Bay Club. Thank you, I love you and I can't wait to hang out with you next week.