salty bake club

Hormones, Croissants & The Truth About Becoming a Mom

• sara grace • Season 1 • Episode 21

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Here is where you get in touch. Work with me, share your experience or requests > this is how to reach me. Love, - Sara

A flaky, buttery croissant, a pile of your questions, and a reveal that made our whole table cheer—this conversation dives straight into the tender, complicated heart of choosing motherhood. I share how a quiet, steady intuition coexisted with an unplanned pregnancy, why I refused to have a baby with anything less than a hell yes partner, and how my childhood shaped the standards I set for time, care, and shared emotional labor. If you’ve ever wondered how to tell readiness from pressure, or how to separate your truth from everyone else’s expectations, this one will meet you where you are.

We explore the messy, human side of pregnancy emotions too. Three waves of unexpected sadness—over an empty butter shelf, a baby panda’s odds, and a guest list—taught me how hormones can hijack a day and how naming the feeling can set you free. I talk openly about the peace that surprised me when the test turned late this time, and how Cree’s steady presence made the responsibility feel shared, real, and safe. We also linger on small joys I can’t wait for in year one: warm snuggles, the sweet scent of a tiny head, and the quiet healing of skin-to-skin.

Then there’s the dream we want to pass on—fields, woods, moss huts, and a childhood rich in wonder. I want our home to be a place where nature teaches patience, curiosity, and care. And yes, we end with a croissant gender reveal: vanilla cream, one bite, and a bright, happy truth. Boy mom. Little cornetto on the way. Whether you love reveals or roll your eyes at them, you’ll hear the gratitude in my voice and the care behind every choice we’re making. If this story moved you, hit follow, share it with a friend, and leave a quick review—your words help others find our little corner of joy.

sara:

Welcome back, my loves, to the Salty Bay Club. I am so excited for this episode because we are having another, as you might see when you watch this episode, croissant themed episode. And you know, all the best things in my life come with a side of flaky, buttery croissant, so this is only right. Here we go. This is the baby episode that some of you might have been waiting for. I got some questions, and I'm so grateful for all the people who co-create this podcast with me. I'm so happy that some of you wrote in, and your questions were really, really interesting. So I'm gonna be bluntly honest with you in this episode. And let me tell you, here's a little surprise that I have in store for you. At the end of this episode, we are gonna have a gender reveal. Yes, exactly. I'm gonna share with you if I'm gonna be a boy mom or a girl mom by the end of this episode. And you know what? I just had the most beautiful gender reveal party last Sunday, and my bestie outdid herself. She created the most amazing, wonderful, miraculous day for me and my partner, our families, and our closest friends. And the peak of the party was that she got these amazing croissants at a bakery at 6 a.m. in the morning that are filled with vanilla cream. But the vanilla cream has a color. So by the end of this episode, I'm gonna bite into this croissant and y'all are gonna know if I'm a boy mom or a girl mom. But before I do that, make up your mind. Like, how do you think of me? Do you think of me as a girl mom? Do you think of me as a boy mom? What do we see? What do we see? I'm so gonna ask you that on Instagram. I cannot wait for you to tell me. Okay, so because I had this croissant themed gender reveal on the weekend, there's just plenty of the cutest things around, and also the whole setup is on point, but all due to my bestie. Thank you, Tony. I love you, and I got the sweetest little things, and I needed to show you these things. Like this is a croissant outfit for the little baby. Oh my god! And here I've got my breastfeeding pillow. The shape of a yes, exactly, croissant. I'm the luckiest mama bear in the entire world. But let's get into it. I'm gonna pull out your questions and once again, thank you, people. Thank you for writing in. I was really inspired by your contribution here. Oops. The first questions that I got came in a batch of threes. And it says, Have you always had some kind of desire to become a mother? How do you think one can tell if that's truly their path? And is there a point where you feel ready? Now these go deep, my oh my, and I'm gonna go through them one by one, but I wanna intro that in saying that it is such a unique path, and I already smell the potential to step on somebody's toes because my oh my pregnancy, motherhood, literally anything that regards a woman's body is such a heated topic and it is such an individual journey. So I wanna validate every woman who has a completely different view on pregnancy, on womanhood, on, you know, doing whatever they want with their bodies than I do. And yet I was asked for my opinion, so I'm gonna share it with you. Have I always had some kind of desire to become a mother? If somebody would have asked me, are you gonna be a mom one day? Not do you want to be a mom, but are you gonna be a mom? I would have answered yes. So I think there has been this deeper knowing or an intuitive nutch, if you will, that told me I will have a kid or kids one day. But on the other side, I would have never ever had a kid just for having a kid. My parents got me really young and they had quite a lack of resources that impacted my upbringing extremely. When it comes to resources, I don't only mean money, I also mean the time, the emotional capacity that you gotta bring to the table if you wanna raise a human being. Don't get me wrong, I did have a really good childhood. I don't want to complain here. But there were certainly things that influenced my childhood that I don't want to recreate for the children that I bring into this world. So I never ever wanted to be a mom just to bring children to this world. I would have rather not had children than have a baby with somebody who I didn't think was a good enough partner to raise a kid with. And let me tell you, that is a biggie. Because yeah, yeah, somebody can be a good partner for a certain life circumstance. There's partners that I had who fulfilled me in a certain life phase, but at the same time, I also knew that it was a phase and that there was gonna be a time where I had to let go of this human because the relationship dynamic didn't serve me anymore as soon as I outgrew my patterns with this person. So for me, it really came down to having a person by my side who wasn't just a yes, but a hell fucking yes. And I heard this recently on the Call Her Daddy podcast where Alex Cooper said when she thinks of her relationship and when she imagines kids, she knows that he's with the right person because the guy that she's with could, if anything should ever happen to her, absolutely handle the life with their kids by himself. And I relate a lot. When I think of my partner, I know that if anything would ever happen to me, he would still be able to emotionally, financially, lovingly continue raising our kid or our kids. That thought alone gave me so much ease, and I was like, oh wow, yeah, that's a good indicator. Which also takes some pressure off me now because it's not only me, right? The emotional labor, literally all the resources that you gotta pour into having a kid, it's it's not all on me. I'm sharing every part of this journey with my partner because I chose somebody who is a hell fucking yes, and not just a that's a good relationship for now. And the last thing that I want to say is when I think of the gravity of this responsibility, I mean you're creating a human, you're literally molding a human and prepping it for life, then I certainly want to give this kid extremely good values and a huge portion of love. And I can't do that by myself. I I need a partner for that. Like I it's just literally stupid to me that the responsibility is put on women, right? To nurture, to mother. But I know that my partner is gonna be such a loving dad. Oh, by the way, we can call him Cree. I established the naming. So Cree is gonna be such a loving dad who's certainly gonna show up for our baby. That being said, I did not always want to be a mom. Like there were times in my life where it was like, I'm fine if it doesn't happen. I'm absolutely okay if I do not ever grow life in my womb. And I think for me that was also a very freeing point where where I was freed from a lot of conditioning of the whole, you know, you're only valuable as a woman if you procreate and if you are a mother, because literally the mother is the only female archetype that our society allows, not only cherishes, but allows. So yeah, that is another deep dive of a topic, but it's so important that we reframe this narrative as women for ourselves to fully stand in our power and be like, okay, if I'm gonna make that decision, if I'm gonna be a mom, I'm certainly gonna do it out of the right reasons and not just because it is low-key expected of me. I remember only a few cycles before I fell pregnant, I did have a little bit of a pregnancy scare. That must have been like half a year before I fell pregnant. I was a little bit late and I had these moments of like holy fucking shit. Like, I I don't want to have a baby right now. I I I don't. It I was with the same partner. I was already with that backup support, but sometimes it's just not the right times. I think sometimes we are just not grounded enough within ourselves to bring another human into this life. But when it happened, when I was late this time, it was peaceful. So, how do you think one can tell if that's truly their path? I have no freaking clue. But I know that we all have that intuitive nudge within ourselves, and that is so true for so many life circumstances. Whether you wanna find a new job, go travel, have a baby, find a new partner, whatever it is. There is this voice inside of you that might have gotten a little less volume because your head is so loud and all the other voices are constantly talking over it. But it is there, it's not silent, it is there, and we all have that intuitive nudge, which is why one of my favorite books is Women Who Run with the Wolves. If you have lost touch with your intuition, read Clarissa Pinkola Este's Women Who Run With the Wolves. I guess that would be my major advice. And is there a point where you feel ready to have a child? I know that this is very different for many women. I have friends who told me that they waited until that longing came up within themselves, and then they relished in that longing, and they kind of let their selves be fueled by that longing, and then they started trying. I think that is such a beautiful way, but for me that is certainly not the truth. I believe that it is maybe part of my conditioning, maybe part of my constitution, that I'm just somebody who's very, very passionate in life and I'm on so many things. Like my life is always full, and I'm literally whenever there's there's time and there's a new spark, there's something new that I want to create, I do it. And so my life is naturally very full, which is why I think it would not have happened if the universe or the force or god or whatever you want to call it wouldn't have inserted it into my life's path. So, yeah, that being said, this baby was not planned. I we just literally were not careful once or twice, and boom. And I think that I was ready. No, wait, let me rephrase that. I know that I was ready, but it was not a conscious decision to have a baby. For me, I believe that even though if I would have consulted my deeper intuitive being, I probably would have gotten the answer of, yeah, you're ready. I think it would have never happened if it wouldn't have just happened. I hope that makes sense at all. Alright, moving on to the next question. What has been the most unexpected emotion you felt during your pregnancy? Okay, okay, here we go to the good stuff. Well, we're all well aware that there's a very big hormonal change, right? Um, and I had three really big hormone craziness moments. I shouldn't say crazy, but I say that in a loving way. And one of the emotions that I was completely wiped out by was sadness. Within an instant, my body was flushed by an overwhelming amount of sadness, and I could like I could not handle myself. And that happened, as I said, three times. I had three of these hormone flushes. The first one was Bay Club. I feel this name in my veins. Salty Bay Club. You know, that is it's engraved in my being. There was a moment when we forgot to stock up on butter, and we all know that butter is essential for bacon. Now the fact that there was no butter at home made me so unbelievably sad that I had to cry. I kind of low-key noticed what was going on, and that that sensation, that feeling was totally out of relation to um what was actually happening, and I was like, oh, that must have been the hormones. So I was I was crying, I was overwhelmed by this fierce sadness, but I could also laugh a little bit about it, luckily. And the same thing happened when we watched a really jump scary show, and I could not make it through an episode, and to calm my nervous system, we had to after that watch an episode of a nature documentary. The narrator dared to say that the baby panda did not have a very long life expectation, and once again, sadness crippled over me. And the third time that this overwhelming sadness came up was when my bestie asked me who I want to have at the gender reveal party. I got so into my head about it of like, you know, if you invite these people, then you should invite these people. I actually allowed myself to sit with this really confusing sadness because it was rooted in a very real life struggle of I don't want to disappoint other people because I don't invite them, but I really want to have it in an intimate surrounding, and I don't actually want to have a lot of people there, but our family is already big and my oh my, I just got so into my head about it, and I cried like I was sobbing, and the sadness did not stop. Like, literally, my partner had to bring me a hot tea that didn't work. He brought me a hot water bottle that didn't work. He then tucked me into bed with my tea and my water bottle, and I was still sobbing, and that's how I fell asleep. And the next morning I laughed my ass off about myself. The struggle wasn't gone. I still had to sit with this emotion, but yeah, sadness. That was certainly the one emotion that was the most unexpected in that entire pregnancy journey. What are you most looking forward to experience with your baby in the first year? I will say I have no freaking clue what's coming. I'm not one of those moms who has already read all the guides, and I kind of want to say I'll wing it. Luckily, I do have a partner who knows everything. Like literally, he's that person. He has read all the brochures and all the guides, and I'm kinda relying on him. When it comes to that, I have no idea what's coming. It sounds so so simple, but really just holding the little baby and smelling its head. Please let me know if you get me. Baby heads smell so good. It is just divine. So I think my answer is really just having my baby on my chest and smelling its head. Yeah. I'm a weirdo. What's one childhood memory you're excited to recreate with your own child? Well, I'm really amazed by how life placed me in the situation where I am right now. Because I have lived abroad, I have lived in cities, and right now I'm living in this serene little town. Like, there is not many people living in this town, and we are surrounded by fields and woods. There is nothing, and this is how I grew up. My childhood was filled with being outside, creating these little fairy huts out of moss, getting my hands dirty, dreaming up what mystical creatures could live in the trees. That is something which I want to recreate for my child. I am really looking forward to being in the woods, being on the fields, walking barefoot on the grass in summer with my baby. And recreating a childhood that is so close to nature, so full of wonder and so mystical. Yeah, I can't wait for that. Now that's already our final question. If you could ask your baby one question right now, what would it be? Okay, baklove. I have no idea if that is true, but I heard that when the baby hears the mother's voice while it is still in the wood, it gets so happy and so excited that it sometimes like wiggles just from hearing the voice of the mother. It is the most adorable thing I can imagine. That when I talk and I have the most mundane conversations with somebody else, my baby will just be like, oh my god, like, ooh. Yeah, I would ask it if that is true, if that is actually a thing. And with my whole heart, I hope that it is, because I love to imagine this little baby in there wiggling of joy and of excitement and giggling into my womb because it hears my voice. Thank you again for your questions. I love that. Thank you to everybody who's part of this Bay Club. I love you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. And now it is time, it is time to bite into the croissant. Once again, make your bet. If you're watching this, you'll see the cream drooping out of my mouth. If you're listening, don't worry, I'm gonna narrate. But last time to change your mind, am I a boy mom? Am I a girl mom? Let's see. Are you ready? I'm gonna be a boy mom. I am having a little baby boy in my belly. Little baby cornetto. Thank you so much for sharing this moment with me. I know that some of you probably hate gender reveals. I'm gonna ask for compassion of our comprehension. And for the ones who do celebrate with me, thank you. I'm the happiest little mama here. Oh, I also did want to say that if you did not listen to last week's episode, go back. Maria is one of my favorite humans. I loved the conversation for myself, for my own nervous system, but also I'm so grateful that I can bring people like her into your field towards your attention. Being able to share their voices is such a blessing to me. And with that being said, I also want to take a moment and say it really, really helps this podcast. If you give me a five-star review, if you leave a comment on Apple, on YouTube. Every little engagement helps me enormously grow this little community. It helps other people to find us, and I'm extremely grateful for each and every little bit of engagement that I'm getting. Thank you so much for tuning in, Big Club. Next week I'm gonna have an amazing interview for you again. And I cannot wait to sit down with you again, share some sweet traits, and spend some time together. Thank you for tuning in. I'm your host, Sarah Grace. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I love you.