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salty bake club
This isn’t your average lifestyle podcast—it’s the kind that sneaks in like a midnight craving and lingers like the scent of warm cookies.
We dive headfirst into the deliciously messy parts of being human, unwrapping the sticky shadows with sharp honesty and a wink of mischief.
Think deep talk, humor, and just the right amount of indulgence. Who said your dark side can’t be sweet and creamy?
Wanna share you personal struggles, or ideas with me? Text me and mix your own story into our raw and unfinished podcast batter! Can't wait to hear from you on Instagram.
Follow along on IG: @saltybakeclub
salty bake club
Rewriting Love, Friendship, And Self-Worth with Alena Seither
What if self-love isn’t a bathtub but a skill you practice every day? We open up about the messy, beautiful work of moving from anxious self-doubt to grounded self-trust, and how that shift changes friendships, romance, work, and the tiny rituals that shape a life. You’ll hear how a yoga teacher training sparked a wider definition of love—less clinging to one person, more letting many mirrors reflect your worth—and why that clarity led to friendship audits, firmer boundaries, and a circle that gives more energy than it takes.
We talk about leaving the comfort of familiar patterns without abandoning gentleness. The method is small, brave reps: do the thing you secretly want, survive the discomfort, and bank the proof. That might look like buying the quad you thought wasn’t “for you,” setting a glass of water by your bed as a daily act of care, or building a five-minute incense-triggered meditation. Creativity returns to the table through baking and playful rituals that romanticize ordinary moments, not as escapism but as design. Along the way we revisit Erich Fromm’s idea that love is active—chosen, practiced, communicated—and apply it to how we show up for ourselves and each other.
We also go candid on pleasure. Many of us learn sex through the male gaze and stick to habits that “work” but don’t satisfy. Pleasure literacy—mindful exploration, clear yes and no, cycle awareness—builds confidence far beyond the bedroom. It’s the same muscle as setting boundaries and asking for what you need. If you’re craving practical inspiration to stop people-pleasing, to design rituals that steady you, and to treat love like a verb, you’ll feel at home here.
If this resonated, follow the show, share it with a friend who needs a gentle push, and leave a quick review to help others find us. Your words help our little fun death club grow.
Alena Sara, welcome to Salty Bay Club! I cannot believe that you are here. For everyone listening, Salty Bay Club would not be Salty Bay Club or would probably not be here at all without you. And I mean it, your mind has been so incredibly genuinely important for this progress. And I am so lucky to have you in my life, to call you a friend, and I love that you're sitting down with me today. Me too. And that we're having a little talk.
Speaker 2:Welcome. Thank you. Super excited to be here.
Speaker 1:Yay.
Speaker 2:Who would have thought that?
Speaker 1:My oh my, who would have thought that? You have been so important for the development of this podcast. There are so many tiny ideas that came out while talking to you that you pinked towards me while we had food, as we usually do.
Speaker 2:Absolutely.
Speaker 1:It fuels our creativity. It bonds a lot. It does, it does. And I would love to hear from you.
Speaker 2:What is Salty Bay Club? Oh my god. Okay. Let me collect all my thoughts. Or what do you think really turned out special? Okay, can I add a bow? Yes, please. Okay. So Salty Bay Club. I know when we have been in Vienna talking about it, all the ideas, and just like the death of it. Like it's sweet, but it also like it touchs you. When you listen to it, you just like remember some sentences afterwards, which is like while listening, you're like, oh my god, yeah, same. I feel the same. Oh my god, that's a good thought. I want to keep that in my mind. So I would say Salty Bay Club is like a fun death club. A fun death club.
Speaker 1:Love that. Yes. Yeah. And also I just want to credit you because you have seen and kind of fueled so many of my ideas and my talents. And you're like, no, no, no, wait, why do you think so small? Like I see, I see you in far like a bigger screen.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. So spoiler can't wait for your text off.
Speaker 1:Well, for now, sitting here, again, I just want to credit you and say, like, to all of you guys listening, like, let's thank her because we would probably not have this podcast without you. And we have met years ago. I don't know how many years has it been?
Speaker 2:What is 2025?
Speaker 1:So four years. Four years. That is very cool. I love that we've been knowing each other for four years and we crossed paths because you um did the yoga teacher training that I'm leading. So since these yoga teacher trainings, they're very um, let's say transformational vaults, I feel blessed, but overall I feel, you know, not the kind of proud of like petting somebody on the head, but just in awe, proud of the transformation you did in the past years. Wow, like you had such a transformational journey in the past years, and for anybody who is not blessed enough to have you in their lives like I am, describe to me and to all the listeners who you were back then and who you are now. No, let's start with a woman that you were back then.
Speaker 2:That's a tough one. I think the woman back then already had so many parts of me that I have right now, but just like with a deeper and wider field, I would say. Yeah. There's so many similarities, but I was way more anxious.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm. Yeah, anxiety is anxiety.
Speaker 2:Yeah. And I did not trust myself enough, I would say. So I think that would summarize it like in different areas.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm. Yeah. You wouldn't trust yourself so much back then. And that actually like that already words and verbalizes a little bit of what I wanna talk to you about. And I am or I have witnessed such a an immense journey of self-love within you. And just thinking of the Elena that I've met back then, and who's sitting with me here now. Like, what the actual fuck. No, no, no. Like, let me let me tell you guys. Like back then you were pretty cool. And I was like, oh, cool chick. Yeah. But now you are such a confident woman. You're working in a really cool job with a really freaking phenomenal company. Um, you're working remotely, you're having this cozy, beautiful apartment, and you're showing up for yourself in ways that so little people do. I what I so often see is that people get stuck in a habitual circle, and I think it is impressive how you molded your life the way that it served you. And the way that you you literally, I know that you for a lot of the time you you set with the question of like, what do I want, right? How do I want it? Is this the right journey? Is this the right decision? So I kind of want to dive into that topic of self-love, but not the bubble bath version of it, but the actual nitty-gritty part of it where we don't look so often, and so little people actually speak about that again, that very fuzzy term of self-love.
Speaker 2:It's beautiful, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. So just thinking of that that step, that transformation, um what were the crucial points that changed you and that gave you that strength to become that woman that you are now?
Speaker 2:I think that a lot of things that are coming together, but like YTT, so the teacher training for sure was like a big part. Yeah. Because like one thing that I will always remember that was stick stuck in with me there was like before you may concentrate on one other person that gives you love and feel like this person is the ultimate love giver to you as well. Oh, we so often cling to that one person, right? So often. Yeah. And then the yoga teacher training, suddenly there were like ten people around me that saw me for like who I am and gave me so much love that I felt so loved and was like, okay, that's new. Like maybe I don't need one person to love me. And then like a few things come together and I just realized there's so much love around us. Like if I just open my eyes, I can totally see like how strangers give me love. If I smile to them like on my way. And like with that also came like, okay, I can give myself love too. Like if other people can see me that don't know me and just like know me for like two weeks, three weeks. Yeah. Maybe I should like take a look, like who am I? And maybe I'm great. You are and just like Yeah, I think the YTT was a big, big like starting point. Like to just like, yeah. Give that a go. Who I am, what I'm worth it.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah. God, I love that.
Speaker 1:I have already tears welling up in my eyes. Because, you know, it's not regular, like, of course, that's my intention for these YTTs, these yoga teacher trainings of like being a catalyst for change. But again, it then depends on the people, right? It depends on you if you're actually taking that leap. And that is quite crazy. Like how crazy to just break got break your life open and and change your ways of thinking in existential matters, like how do I look at myself? And who do I need to love me for in order to, you know, to validate my existence even.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So yeah, that's that's amazing. It's really cool.
Speaker 2:Sometimes we're like, uh you need to be healed and completely love yourself until you can meet another person, like not only relationship-wise, but in general. And like I'm not sure about that. Like sure you should see your worth for yourself before meeting other people. But it can also be very helpful to have people around you to show you why they love you, to understand like having it like a mirror and being able to see why other people are in love with you.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Helps you to understand yourself. Or maybe I should take a look at it. Not just like take it and say, oh, you love that? Okay, I love that too. But just like, oh you love that? Okay, let me let me dive in. Like, why do you love that? And maybe I love that in myself.
Speaker 1:Oh wow. But well, thinking of having that in a yoga teacher training space, that's pretty cool. But how how do you translate that into life, right? I mean, how did that how did that change? Did that change your friendships at all? A lot. It did.
Speaker 2:A lot. Because then suddenly you see like people that are in your life for years may can give you the love that strangers gave you. And it let you question like, for what do you love me? Like, why are we friends? Yeah. How deep is our friendship? Or is it just like do you love me in your life because the feeling that I give you? Or do you love me for me as a personality? So it changed a lot.
Speaker 1:Oh, that goes so deep. And I think so many women can relate. And yes, also men, absolutely. But I think so many women can relate because we have this almost in innate people-pleasing tendency. Right? Like culturally, culturally, we get molded that way, we get raised that way, to be to be suitable, to make others appreciate us, to fit into roles, to fit into stereotypes. So I think so many women can relate to exactly what you said of like, do you love me for the feeling I give you? That hits home for me. Yeah. Oh God. Yeah. And I think so many people aren't even aware of that. Like when when they're doing that, right? Because some so often we we like to bathe in the presence of others. But then one of my like one of my big game changers regarding love in general, but also self-love, was reading that book, um I think The Art of Loving from from Erich Fromm. It is good. It's such a tiny book, but it's like filled with wisdom. And there he really emphasizes how love is not something passive. It is active. It's so active. You choose it. You choose it and you choose to practice it, right? You choose to to to rise in love, not fall in love. It's not that passive act of just like bathing in somebody's presence or being filled with good feelings that the other one gives you. It's it's contributing. It's actually wanting to to shape and to nurture a relationship.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So did you then change your friend circle or I don't know. Like no, but really, I think so many people they are stuck in routines, right? And so often with people, they choose, or with us as humans, we choose comfort over.
Speaker 2:Yes. Like we just talked like yesterday. Yes. About it in the YTT. Um because now she's teaching on the YTT. What a full circle moment. But we talked about it yesterday. Like the nervous system, you're used to what you know, no matter if it's good or or bad. Like so many toxic relationships or like toxic habits, you stay with them because you know them. And it's way harder to to break them. Yeah. Because it's something unknown. And I feel like the last years with like different happenings, I realized so much to trust. Like if something feels uncomfortable um uncomfortable and may turn out way better than you think before. Yeah. But of course, yeah, I I switched friendships. And I mean, also in that time a relationship has gone, but that was like not a like maybe, maybe it was a decision about that. I I'm not sure. Yeah. But yeah, those happenings just like let me realize who do you want to have in your life? Like lately I talked to a friend and was saying, like, I'm so glad I feel like I don't have any one person left in my field that's an energy taker. Oh. I only have people surround me that gives me energy. Wow. That's like a huge thing. Like that is success in life. It's really sexy. I feel really successful about it. Oh, yeah. Yeah, because like I mean it's not that I realize someone is taking energy and just like directly saying, okay, bye. Yeah. But it's just like watching it and also like communicating it. Yeah. And like saying, hey, like, I don't feel good with that. And then seeing what happens. I mean it's like a friendship is a relationship like any other. You need to communicate. Absolutely. It's the most important thing. Yeah. And I n need to let my people know how I feel. Yeah. And then there's two two sides. Either way they don't hear it. Yes. Even if you communicate about it. Yes. And then maybe that's a more friendship that goes. Yeah. Or fades.
Speaker 1:Yeah. And people can only receive to a level that they have opened themselves to, right? So if that person has literally no emotional intelligence, they will never understand you. They will never understand yours because they haven't opened that part within themselves. And also what I just want to put emphasis on is I think when it comes to giving love and being a good friend, right? It it's also so important that we, even though we might be a genuinely good person, to take a really good look at ourselves and be like, okay, where are we just receiving, right? Where are we not giving enough? Where aren't we of service in our friendships, in those relationships that we love so much? Right? And I think it's a conceptual issue of our culture that we don't have to work for love. Like we all think of it as falling in love as we expect it. Yeah, we accept it. And we we think it's it's like that, right?
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:We have that fairy taly idea of just falling in love. Totally. But you gotta fucking work for that.
Speaker 2:You gotta work for love.
Speaker 1:And that also counts turns or counts for self-love, right? You gotta work for that.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. And you need to listen to yourself. Yeah. Like same as communicating with like friendship or like partnerships.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I need to listen to me and my body and then react to it. Yeah, that's so true. Like if I feel like, oh my god, may I need some more like I'm missing a touch in any kind of way. I could either either way handle it. Just like first I need to realize it. I just need to realize, hey, I may need just like some touching me. Yeah. And then book your a massage. Yes. Like doing something like that and it helps so much. I love that. And also, yeah. Yeah. Different ways. Like feel like depends on love language. Also, completely other topic. But like, do you know your love language? Is it like still words? May write something down for yourself. Or buy the flowers for yourself. Like do something for you and not just like have food like on your own, but just like put it all together like messy. Yeah. Just like do it pretty for you. Yeah. Make a ritual out of it. Yeah, you deserve it as well to have a nice place. Not only if someone is coming over.
Speaker 1:Yeah. And I also love about you. Sorry, I didn't want to interrupt. I love that you have a big passion of romanticizing your life.
Speaker 2:Romanticize your life.
Speaker 1:Romanticize your life. It helps so much. It has so much. It does. Make it special. Like do something so special for yourself. And I just I love how you do that. You know, in in just little things. Like last time that you stayed here, you you went to that cute little crystal store that we love so much.
Speaker 2:Whenever you in the white she, you will know what it is.
Speaker 1:You will know what it is.
Speaker 2:Go there and buy everything.
Speaker 1:Go there. Yeah, get your crystals. And get your incense. And you bought these little I don't even know how they're called these little like in incense pyramids. Yeah. Yeah. I guess. And you you you you spoke about how you got that little plate for it and you're gonna put it up and you're home and you're gonna have that as your little nighttime ritual or something like that. And I was like, oh I have completely forgotten to do that. So I think it really helps also to have people in their lives who actively work on their self-love, right? On their also, it's not only that fuzzy word of love, it's also the appreciation towards themselves, the respect towards themselves. And if you have people who in your field who do that, who proactively work on that, then it's so much easier for yourself to be like, oh wow, I completely forgot that. That was such an important point of my life at some point. But then you know, life happens and it always brings you fun new ways. But then you gotta return to those things that are really important for you. So thank you for doing that. That's so nice. Thank you for being such an amazing presence. Thank you. And I think I can speak for so many, right? Not just me. Like you are so inspiring and what you do and how you do it and the how I think is really important.
Speaker 2:I'm so lovely. Thank you. But yeah, no, those little reminders. Like if you romanticize your life, yeah. It's just I have so many beautiful dates with myself. Oh yeah. Also with my friends. Yeah, it's a joke about like when we have like a friend's date and like planning something, because why wait for whatever? Exactly. And even if you're in a relationship, like have those self-dates.
Speaker 1:Yeah. I think especially then it's so important to keep nurturing that self-love, right? Because yeah, you don't always have to be fully healed to meet another, but you have to maintain. You have to maintain that which you feel towards yourself because you can't put all that weight on a partner. Like that is way too heavy.
Speaker 2:It's too much weight for one person. Yeah. And it's also so like something I learned is like you have different interests and different things that are important to you. Don't give this all responsibility to one person. Oh. Yeah. Like saying, Hey, I love hiking. I love to do that. You need to do all of that as well. So now I can do that with other friends if you don't like it. Yeah. We should have well use. Absolutely. Different, like really important stuff, but like not every check mark. But yeah, especially then also like the self-love part should not be on the other person. It should be still on me to like take time for myself. And it's always good to have like a reminder from outside. But I'm the person who needs to do it.
Speaker 1:Yeah. And I think the crucial part here is that we gotta remember that we ourselves are responsible for our well-being. No other person.
Speaker 2:Absolutely.
Speaker 1:We can't put that on anybody else. Okay, wait. I think we have never been sitting in front of food without eating for so long. May I pass you that four?
Speaker 2:You may can.
Speaker 1:Okay, we are having this really cool cake. Cheers. Love ya. Um this is an apple chai cake. And I made it, and I'm pretty proud of myself because the cream, like the these little cream hubs, and there's three layers, and in between there's cream, and there's the best apple.
Speaker 2:I don't know. It's like one of the best autumn cakes I have eaten. Thank you. Yeah. Wow. And that cream, I wish we would be so far with technic wise right now. You will love it. So the cream.
Speaker 1:It really tastes like a chai latte. Like the intensity of a good chai latte. And I hate when they water it down. And that cream, I'm really proud of that cream.
Speaker 2:You can. And like a combination with apple. But also like something, isn't it? If you bake, is it something you would say it's combined with self-love or like the way you do it?
Speaker 1:I think so. I really think so. Because when I started baking, it it brought out a creative side of me that I had hidden because of some setbacks. Like when I was not well, wait, no, no, no. I started baking much younger, but there was a time when I wanted to go to a graphic design school. And I worked all summer on this application map. And I put a lot of love and a lot of devotion in it. And um, well, I I didn't gotta get a space, so I got refused. And after that I was like, okay, shutting it down, yeah, not drawing anymore. I'm not good enough to the falling back into the whole self-worth struggle.
Speaker 2:Like, yes, absolutely. One thing can happen. It can when you like question your worth. Ah. And that's so sad. Because like, what do they know? What do they know? About you as a personality as well.
Speaker 1:Like it's just like Yeah, I mean, I also honor their opinion, and it probably wasn't that good. I say that too. But I I the the part is that I like I shouldn't have locked away my creativity just because um I was neglected in that one school. Right. So yeah, but in that time, baking gave me like a vessel or a way to still express my creativity without thinking about it, without, you know, because consciously I was like, I have locked that part away. I'm shouldn't do that anymore. But in that it kind of sneaked in again. And through that, it through that portal of baking, it kind of yeah, grew back into my life, I would say. So beautiful. Yeah. Back then I was obsessed with cupcakes. I would make these really, I would spend all like there in Austria, there you get um basically one extra salary. Like you they double your salary every June and every December for Christmas, if you're not working for Isolve, obviously, like I am now. Like it's been a while that I that I had that privilege. But back then I I spent a lot of my like holiday salary is what we call it on baking supply. I love that. They had this big box with like glitter in every color, and it was just like yeah, no, it was absurd.
Speaker 2:It went back to romanticizing, right? Yes. I mean, like you put all the glitter on it because it's just like so fun. It's so beautiful. And you do it kind of for yourself as well. Yeah. Because like while you're doing it, while you do the sprinkles. Like, oh that's so pretty. It's so pretty, it brings you happiness. It brings you happiness, and that is a hit. Yeah. Like all those small moments. I mean it doesn't need to be like a full date with yourself or it can be and create if you have the time and like do that. But it can also like small rituals like every morning having like a how's it called in English? The Reicherstipps. Oh, an incense. Yeah. So every morning have an incense for yourself. Light up some candles. Yes. Just like that, or have your favorite playlist playing while you're getting ready for work. Oh, okay.
Speaker 1:Here's a challenge for you and I and for everybody listening. Incorporate something into your day that you wish somebody else would do for you.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And do it every day. For at least a like a minimum of 21 days straight.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. That's such a great idea.
Speaker 1:Ooh, I have no idea what I'm gonna do. Do you know what what you're gonna do?
Speaker 2:I think not if that is the one thing. But something came to my mind, for example, like every evening put a glass of water beside your bed. Mm-hmm. Like, you know, if someone else would do that, you would think, oh, how lovely that you think about my body getting hydrated.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Just a small thing that's that's so sweet because you just uh made me appreciate my boyfriend so much more because he does that for me. Like literally all day, he is very mindful about my hydration.
Speaker 2:See, but that's like that's a thing. Thank you.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Yeah. Okay, so you're gonna put a Yeah, I think I will do it. Yes. Okay, I think hmm. I wanna do something, I wanna up level my meditation and practice again. But I know I gotta do something like a a micro habit because right now there are like I'm in the middle of a YTT and I'm not gonna be able to carve out a lot of time for myself. But yeah, having a at least five-minute meditation every day. Which happens some days, but I wanna make it a daily again, even though it's a 7 30 to 7 30 day.
Speaker 2:Yep.
Speaker 1:Yep. Sitting in stillness and lighting an incense with it. Yeah. That's gotta be the trigger. Yep, cool. Okay, done.
Speaker 2:Because then you programming your brain on it as well. Like when every time you will smell it, you will come in that state of mind.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm. I'm totally stealing and scrubbing off all the creams. So you better have some because otherwise it's gonna be gone.
Speaker 2:That's like, I don't know, that cake. And I'm good. I am so proud of you, as you're ready. Here's the issue though.
Speaker 1:I flexed the recipe. Yeah, and I love that. I don't know what I really did. But I'm gonna sit down and I'm gonna write it down. Um yeah, I hope I I hope I can craft a recipe out of it. But yeah, that cake is too good not to share. Oh yeah. Well, another thought that I had. What were the skins you had to shed in order to walk your path this lighthearted and this trusting?
Speaker 2:I think like two different things. External and internal. To like separate it. Externally first. To just like do the things, even if you fail. Oh yeah. Because that helped me so much gaining confidence. Yeah. Like knowing I will not die if I do that and it does not work out. And just like things like also like like fun fact that drive a four-wheeler. And this is something like I wanted to have one so long. But it was always like something like I had something you do on vacation or it's something that like boys do. You know, like when you're younger, it's like more like a man thing. Yeah. Yeah. I don't like normally l like to like separate like that, but in the past, like my old version would have thought, I cannot do that. I mean, like, how weird would it be? Like people in cities have like scooter for like a motor bicycle or something.
Speaker 1:No, let me give more context for a moment. She drives this frickin' amazing. First of all, you drive this frickin' amazing bus that you kinda craft it into your home. And then you also drive a quad.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Like that is so freaking cool. Yeah.
Speaker 2:I love that. So the four-wheeler quad, something I wanted to have like forever. And then it always was like something, okay, yeah, when I'm in a relationship, I can may think more about it because like I got a partner and he's like this male part, so it would not make so much nonsense to other people. That's so I know. I would never have that thought again. Yeah. And then I said I was not in a relationship anymore. And then I was just like, I don't know how it started actually. I think I was talking with my my dad about it. I was like, yeah, it would be really cool, wouldn't it? Like to have that. Um yeah, he has a job where he is a lot in the forest. So it was like, he was on my side already. He was like, that's a great idea. I could drive that as well. I love that. Sure, yeah, that is something we can talk about. And then yeah, one day we were just like visiting one, and he was like, Okay, you know what, just drive a few rounds and let me know how you feel about it. I was like, okay, I gotta do it. I had so much fun. Of course. Of course. I love like also I really love like fast, like fast cars and like stuff like that. Yeah. And then I was like, yeah, driving it and he just saw my smile as well. And it was for me, it was like, okay, we he we just like testing and I can think about it, and then just like, yeah. And he saw my smile. And he was like, So, do you have any questions? And I was like, well, no, it's everything fine. I think we can start looking for one. And he was like, Okay, yeah, then have a look. Maybe here's something. Yeah. And was like, today? He was like, yeah, why not? And then yeah, I did it. And I bought it. You bought a quad. You bought a four-wheeler. I bought a four-wheeler and I love it. And now like plot with like I really want to do like a motor bicycle like lesson, so I think it will be the next step. Don't know how long the four wheeler will be with me anymore. I see you doing that. I told of course. But yeah, just like what I want to say is like doing those things that you have in your mind and then it gives you so much fun and it can go wrong. Like in the end, the yeah, worst case could have been that I also with a bus. Like those are invests, so it's just like a different part, but like worst case, I lose money. Yeah. Like I don't know if I make a mistake or not until I make it.
Speaker 1:Absolutely.
Speaker 2:Oh god, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah. And that in so many parts. Yeah. Like job-wise or like yeah, just use just use the time that you have and do that stuff. Yeah. Tell the people how you feel with them. That you love them, how they make you feel. I think so often we're also like in that more critical part where we're like, I can't tell that to a friend. That's way too much. Like, and in general, like we women, all the people that a lot of women that feeling of I'm too much. Yeah. I cannot do or say that. I need to step a few steps back.
Speaker 1:I also love that that kind of game of uh well the a time there was a time when on Instagram there was a lot about that main character energy. And I mean a friend, we kinda we leaned into that. We were like, okay, how would how would she look like? How would she walk? What would she do? What would she buy? What would she spend her resources on? Both time and and money and and like just getting a clear vision on who you want to be, right? Without all the judgment of your friends, of your family. I think we so often hold back because those people, we think we see ourselves in the mirror, right? We see ourselves in the eyes of other people. So we're like, okay, I can't, I can't be that version of myself with those people. But no, no, no, you can.
Speaker 2:You need to.
Speaker 1:You need to. Like it's your life.
Speaker 2:It's your life. Like, don't waste it away. And like all the friends or people that you meet just like know you from like a a certain angle. Yes. Like some people just know the wild version and others just know the very calm version.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:It's like pieces of a cake. It's like piece of the cake. But I need to have a full fork.
Speaker 1:Yes. And you gotta be aware of the entire cake, of all the pieces. Yeah. And allow yourself to yeah, to live your many layers. Yeah, to just like do it.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Like you have nothing to lose. Yeah. Like in the end, if you be your truly self and explore yourself with that.
Speaker 1:Well, but then in order to be that, in order to do those courageous things, we like of course that's easy if you love yourself. Of course that's easy if like if you've already done that work. True. But how do you start?
Speaker 2:How the frick do you start? Okay, so like one I was saying the external and internal Yes, true. So go back. One external, like with those things to just like do something you want to do and just like get in that discomfort zone to grow with it. I think that's the external part because it can be people, things, dreams, anything that way. Internal wise, I feel like it was for me a connection with my body. When I started to like feel myself again and just like know where my boundaries are, I could so much more crow into it. Like that's like an hour switch to also one of my work. But also like self-love when it comes to masturbation. Yeah. And knowing what you like and what you don't like. Yes. Helps you so much. Okay, tell us what you do. Tell us what you do. I want to hear what you're doing. I don't know if that's claimed as an ad. Yeah. But like I work for fantasy in the marketing field. And on fantasy, it's like Spotify on Netflix for female pleasure. That's how you can imagine it. You find different genres and like different audios. And yeah. And it's focused on female pleasure. It is. It is. And it's so important to liberate it. To liberate female pleasure. And that's exactly what it's doing. Like one thing, it's just like a platform where you use it for fun, but also like self-love meditation. Yes. And also like, if I have audios that I test through about different genres or different kings, and I start to feel like, oh, I really like that. Or oh, I don't like that at all. Transferring to your life and starting to like, I need to test it to know if I like it or not. And if I'm more confident, like if you know what you like when it comes to sex, also like not only self-sex, it's so huge when it has an impact on your normal life. Absolutely. Like the your confidence growing.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah, 100%. And there was a time in my life when I was absolutely insecure about myself, about my relationship to others, about my body. And that ultimately turned out into my first sexual experience as being very much guided from that male gaze. Because that is what we're all having our, or most most of us, the vast majority has their sex education. From that male gaze. And I it's been it's been such an important journey where again, self-love and being frickin' bold and saying what you want had to like had to start developing within myself until I grow into a a person who's like, yeah, yes, that is my body. That is my pleasure.
Speaker 2:It is, it's your pleasure.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And it's so important. And if you know that and you know what you like, you can say like, also we again, like, communication. It's so important. I need to communicate when I'm having sex with another person, like to communicate to that person what I like and what I don't like. Absolutely. To have like good sex. Yeah. I mean that's the basics, right?
Speaker 1:It is. It's the basics in life, in any relationship, and of course also in being intimate.
Speaker 2:Uh-huh.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Wow. Yeah. And how did being intimate in all in all ways, right? In all ways of like having sex but also just loving yourself a lot. Um how did that change anything?
Speaker 2:I think it's awareness. You start to see yourself. You know, if like just like when we come back like to touching myself, yeah. And I just don't do it or do it like not aware, I don't really see myself while doing it. And I don't mean like visually seeing myself, but like more like feeling myself and being aware of of me. And I feel that's super important because it makes a difference. If I start to see myself in different situations, yeah. Also like cycle-wise. Yes. If I start to understand my cycle and I start to see why I behave that kind of way in which cycle I may not be so harsh to myself as I'm used to be.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And I think those are like all different things, but altogether how you start to be aware of yourself and have respect for yourself. Oh, yes. And that this helps to gain confidence.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. And I have never thought about it that clearly. But you're right, there was a switch or a time in when I when it comes to masturbation, there were things that just worked. But did I actually enjoy them? And for a lot of them, uh it's a no. But it just worked, it made me calm, yeah. But I didn't enjoy them.
Speaker 2:That's so interesting.
Speaker 1:So yeah, I think there's like there's a lot in in the topic of mindful masturbation, right? Whether whatever that means, like that doesn't mean that doesn't have to mean slow sex. No. It just has to be like mindful. You like you do it with your body, mind, and heart, right? You just like do it very aware. So yeah, when we translate that onto life, it's like, what do you do out of habit? What do you do because you know it works, whether that means in your job or you satisfy other people or blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And what do you actually enjoy?
Speaker 2:Yeah. I think this is what gives you confidence as well.
Speaker 1:It does. It truly does. And it's a one step at a time process, right? For absolutely listening who's still struggling with that, who's probab maybe just at the beginning of that path of really forming a relationship with self.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I mean, it's a teeny tiny baby step at a time. Because even like both both scenarios, right? Let's just take being intimate with yourself or with another. You're not just gonna be super ballsy, right, from the beginning because you just want to, or you you cannot have that expectation of yourself, but you gotta do baby steps.
Speaker 2:You do.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And that's why also why I love like fantasy. Because like you can do it on your own without having anyone around you who's like, again, you feel like you need to perform, or you're like, you cannot explore it because if you explore it and you don't like it, you may discomfort a different person. Yeah. So you can just like explore it for yourself and then transfer it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and just to just to note this is not an ad. But I also wanna I also wanna just put emphasis on or recognition. How I've seen you be a part of that company and the rituals you have, that you actually are mindful of each other's cycle.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Like there are so many things that I think this brand does internally that obviously helps the success because they're the the people who work, they're motivated, they're doing it from probably intrinsic motivation rather than just working for money or working their time. And I think it's yeah, like I I've it's amazing. It's amazing what they did. It is really cool.
Speaker 2:Yeah, really cool. Cool job to work.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Okay, but I do want to circle back on the internal um layers that you had to share.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So also like, as we said, find out what fits for you and what you like and not. So also like, what do you need? Like, if for me it's journaling, it may does not fit at all for you. Yeah. So don't feel like, oh, everybody's journaling to just like know what they want, maybe I need to do that too, and then you just do it, but it doesn't feel good, it will not bring you to that point. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Maybe we can even have pleasure of like like what does what gives me a not only what makes me feel good, but like what gives me that sensation of aha, that is right.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Yeah, that feeling and I really trust in intuition and in gut feelings. And I for sure know if you hear this right now and you wonder like what you need to do. You will know. You will know. You will know when you do it, on it's more like a try and error thing, I would say as well.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you gotta try some things. You gotta try.
Speaker 2:You will know what you need, and it's so hard like to there's no recipe for like saying have this step one, two, three, and then you love yourself. Yeah. And I'm still at a time where I don't love myself or like what but where I like myself, I would say. And I think it's switching, and then there's life, there's cycle phases.
Speaker 1:Yeah, sometimes you love yourself more and sometimes not so much. Yeah. Yeah. You gotta allow yourself that. Like you can't sh shit talk yourself for that as well. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Right. And don't like take it for so I don't know how to say, but don't be so harsh on yourself if you have a time where you don't look in the mirror or just knowing yourself and being like, oh my god, I'm the best. Also that, like, just see it, take it and be gentle with yourself. I think that's also like something that helped me a lot. Like in the past, like my older version, I was so harsh on myself in so different areas. And now I'm so more gentle with me. That's beautiful. And it helps. It helps.
Speaker 1:It does, especially when it's hard. Yeah. Or actually, I also think there has to be a balance, right? You gotta like you gotta do the things that are uncomfortable, otherwise you're gonna stay in your comfort zone. You gotta kick your butt because otherwise you're not gonna do the courageous thing. You're just gonna stay in the place that you are. But you also gotta be gentle with yourself. You gotta be kind with yourself. You gotta love yourself. You gotta love yourself.
Speaker 2:And you can also go gentle out of your comfort zone. Like being gentle with yourself does not mean I'm staying in bed and have my cozy blanket and and don't do the stuff that scares me. Yeah. But it says like, I see that it scares me. Yes. I will do it anyway, and if it goes wrong, I will be here for me. Yeah. I think that is more like the genetic thing.
Speaker 1:I will be here for me.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah. I love that. Okay. Okay, last question. If self-love would be some kind of uh mythical creature or goddess. Oh my god. Who would you be or how would you be?
Speaker 2:Or it. Forgive me. Is it a one that already exists? Or just like a fantasize? Draw from existing ones or fantasize how my self-love would be. It would be golden. I know that. It would be light and it would live above. Oh. So it floats or like I don't know if it's clouds or mountains, but it's something where it's like light above something. I would say myself love would have wings, but like more like fairy wings. Like those light ones that you can see through transparent, beautiful, shimmery fairy wings.
Speaker 1:I see that. I see that.
Speaker 2:And I don't know, a lot like it would love nature. Yeah.
Speaker 1:I think that. I love that for me. I think mine would be also golden. Just radiating gold. And there would be a very interesting combo of some fierceness. Like when you see her, she is fierce. But also some sweetness of like I think like a you know, like a flip coin. Like there's this power. Just like a shimmer. Yes. Yeah, or a lion or something like that. Um yeah, like the idea of a lion. Maybe it's like a lion. And then it just like kind of craddles into your into your lap. It's just kind of cute and cozy and sweet. Yeah, like okay, let's do a glittery, fluffy, big lion.
Speaker 2:I see that on you so much.
Speaker 1:Oh, cool.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think that's my flaffy crater. Yes.
Speaker 1:Love.
Speaker 2:Being bold.
Speaker 1:Being bold.
Speaker 2:Love that.
Speaker 1:Yes. Oh I love that. I love you so much. I love you so much. Thank you for having me. Thank you for doing this with me. Thank you for the taking the time and sharing your your journey. Always. Sharing your words. And I can't wait to do this again.
Speaker 2:We need the blue that love. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Did it? We did it. Cheers. Wait. Good scoop of that. Cheers, my love.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm.