Spiritual Practices of the Disgruntled Artist
Your hosts, Ari Hader and Olivia Spirz, interview fellow artist about their spiritual practices and how it helps them with their art and career!
Spiritual Practices of the Disgruntled Artist
Spiritual Practices of the Disgruntled Artist Episode 1: Meet Ari and Olivia
In our very first episode, we explain the concept of the podcast and explore each other's spiritual practices and spiritual history. Next episode we'll have on our first guest!
Beautiful music composed and performed by Doug Harvey
This is our first episode. Our first episode. Welcome to, oh, you're going for it? Yeah. Okay. This is spiritual practices of the disgruntled artists. And this is our first episode, is that musical interlude, let you know, and we are a podcast where we interview a new artist each week to learn how they're keeping themselves sane. And spiritually healthy during this epically challenging time to be an artist. Yes. And, this will be a special episode in a little, maybe a little bit longer, because we're going to start off by interviewing each other so you could get a little background of who we are. By the way, my name is Olivia Spurs, and by the way, my name is, and, uh. The reason why we started, this podcast is because we are just so genuinely interested, uh, uh, in spiritual practices um, we talk all the time on the phone and mm-hmm it's, we talk about our acting careers and our spirituality and yeah, we were just, and yeah, times are tough. Times are tough, and we know so many interesting, wonderful artists. Slash just human beings and we wanna know what gets you through it. Yep. Yeah, that was good. Well done. Thank you. You did great. Thank you so much. And that's it. And that's it. Thank you so much. Goodnight. Goodbye. Okay, here we go. Here we go.
Ari:So what are your spiritual practices that you're doing right now? Okay, so right now I meditate. Okay. I meditate almost every day. Every day? Yes. Almost every day. Okay. When I started my meditation practice, I was like, I have to do it every single day for three months, of course, to control me, but also because I tried to meditate so much in my life. Yes. And it never stuck. Oh. And I was like, for it to stick, I needed to be like a real part of my life for three months. Mm-hmm. So I did that and now it's most days, and now I like look forward to it. Um, so that I also have found yoga, which I feel like such, uh, honestly, I feel like a real dick about it to be honest, because for, for years I was like, yoga is not a workout. Like, I was like, because I was in gymnast and, you know, then I did Muay Thai. I was like, it's not a workout, blah, blah. And now like, oh, I need it. And I even tried to step away from it because. A, a boring story about a play and leaving my yoga studio and I joined ClassPass and so I started doing boxing. I was like, maybe I have belly dancing. I tried and I was like, no. I also need the mental, just meditative quality of yoga. It's like a focus, especially for the day. Yeah, the focus. Yeah. The days when I can't meditate. It's also just the, the season I'm in of a mom of two small children. I need it to be also meditative, so. Yoga. And then my gratitude journal where I write down 10 things I'm thankful for every morning. And then underneath it I'll write some like sort of mantras I want to focus on. And then at the top I usually write just kind of like a message for the day. A lot of the time it's like in flow or um. Is it nighttime? No. Every morning. Every morning. Okay. Yes. Okay. Okay. And if I don't do it, I really feel a difference. And I've learned that other people also feel a difference. Like one time Kate was like, have you been doing your gratitude journal? I was like, no. I've like fallen off of it for a week or so. And she was like, you need to do it. She noticed it. Wow. Yeah. And I also noticed that like. When something bad happens now, like the wheel of our car got stolen a couple weeks ago. Right. Which I had an immediate emotional reaction to because how do you not, how do you not, but then immediately in my mind, three things that I was thankful for that didn't happen. Like they left the lug nuts, so we didn't have to get a tow truck. We could put this bear on. Mm-hmm. It didn't cost as much as we thought it would. We got it done within a day, you know, like. Like now because of the gratitude journal, I really think it is because of the gratitude journal. Wow. When something bad happens to me, I'm able to be like, but at least these three things didn't happen. Yeah. Whereas it used to be without it. Yeah. Just everything looks terrible, you know? Yeah. And I've also, uh, imagined that meditation would also help with that too. Yeah. You know? I hope so. Just an overall like. Take take every moment as it is. Yeah. Wow. I think I need to work on that more. No, I think you're working on it. I think that proves it is what I'm saying is like the, the combination of the yoga and the gratitude and the meditation, I think they're all working together. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. And now that I'm also invested in all like my books and things, gratitude and meditation come up so much from all different people. Everybody talks about gratitude. Mm-hmm. Because I think it's like, I think that's one of the sort of keys to unlock something. Yeah. I love it. There's a sleeping meditation on the calm, calm app that's like drift off with gratitude. Mm-hmm. And you just like, literally just think about all the things you're thankful for. Mm-hmm. It is wonderful. And there's also something about doing it without guilt. Like Yeah. Not being like, like I should be grateful. I think that's what I'm reacting to. Oh. I feel like having a gratitude practice has made me not say I should be grateful. I have so many things in my life. I should be grateful. I, I don't have to say that to myself.'cause I am grateful, I affirm that for myself every single day. Right. And it's big things and small things and I try really hard not to like look at the day before. Mm-hmm. So that's just genuinely what am I feeling before now? Yeah. This cup of coffee. Right. Well, I think that's what it's is that you surprise yourself. I think when you are, when you're, when you're sitting down and having to list, even like, I, I think it's probably even more beneficial when you're having like a tough day. Mm-hmm. Because then you're forced to go, okay, but what, despite all of what's happening at this moment, am I thankful for? Mm-hmm. I love it.
Ari (2):So for me, this is what happened. I was raised Jewish, but I didn't go to temple. We celebrated all the holidays. Okay. God wasn't really discussed at all. Interesting. And so I didn't really know how I felt about it at all. I was aware that there was a God, but there was just no religious element to like our family practices. And then in college I went to NYU for acting, but you had to take a certain number of academic classes and I took all these religion classes without even realizing what I was doing. I was like, I'm gonna take a class on the Dead Sea Scrolls. And then I was like, I'm gonna take a class on like blasphemy and religion. And I just didn't realize until the end where it was like, I was almost a religious studies minor because of how many religion courses I took.'cause I think subconsciously I was Hey, you're gonna have to pay this out. Yeah, honey. But really did, it was I was driving to LA with my roommate, Emma, and we were talking about God, and I was asking her about if she believed in God much like what we're doing. Yeah. And and she asked me the same question and I said, I wasn't really raised with any sort of like religious belief per se, but I don't know how I feel about God. And I said, but I think at some point I need to figure it out. And I said that and I thought that, and then. Out of nowhere. This truck that was parked on the side of the road, lights off, nothing, just pulled right out in front of me. I jerked the wheel. She started screaming. And we spun fully around on a highway in Louisiana. Oh my God. Facing oncoming traffic. And magically there was like we just the, a tire popped, but that was it. There were no cars coming. I pulled over to the side of the road, we called your boy, like it was fine, but I was like, alright, God, I got it. I got it. God. So we stopped by the Grand Canyon on the way and I wrote, I think I still have this, I wrote basically promises to God of and to myself of just I'm gonna figure out what I think about this and I'm going to wow. Really? Just explore my spirituality.'cause I think there was an embarrassment about it, which is interesting because also off mic, we were just talking about this, about the embarrassment of spirituality. Yes.
Olivia:And not even that kind of spirituality. Like it's how, it's like just spirituality in general.
Ari (2):It's not, even though in LA I feel like it's a more cool, but I think there is this sort of idea of an artist I don't know if it's just a New York thing, like in New York. It was like, artists are hard and oh, it was not, nobody talked about God or religion.
Olivia:I guess I didn't really experience that because I'm not really, never really consider myself religious. And also growing up in California, I think that was. People are spiritual, just maybe more spiritual or just but it's interesting like this, the distinction between religious and Yes, spiritual, true. Like I think more people are open to spirituality. Yes, I think so. True. And I think'cause it's, it's so general and then, I think religion has definitely more of a history
Ari (2):yeah. Which I'm excited to have people on here who are Yeah. Religious. Yeah, me too. Just to hear that aspect of things. Yeah. Wow. That's crazy. Yeah. That was how it started. I had two spiritual awakenings.
I had the accident. Okay. And then I had something that kind of kicked off my meditation practice, which was, I just felt so up and down about my career and I was like, okay, I'm gonna, basically, I'm gonna not think about this for two years. I'm gonna give myself a two year deadline. And anytime I feel down about my career, I'm gonna say no. No, we're not, we're not thinking of that now. Mm-hmm. We're gonna think about that in two years. Yeah. And that kind of started me on like the meditation practice, which sort of led me into the rest of it. Getting in touch with the universe. Right. My spirit guides. It really taps into just being present. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Like you're not worried. Constantly thinking about, yes. What to obtain your no, right now this is where I am. And yeah. Yeah, because then the worry, I can just be like, I'm not, I'm not gonna worry about this now. I'm gonna worry about this later, and now here's where I am. But then I feel like because of that, a lot of good things started coming my way. I felt like the universe really was guiding me towards staying on this path. And that was part of it too. That was the big part of it was. Releasing the need to have this be the thing. Acting be the thing. Yeah. It was like, if it's not meant for me. The universe will guide me towards something else and it won't feel like I'm killing something or hurting myself. Mm-hmm. To go towards that thing. I will feel called to go towards that thing. Right. And it was like accepting that if I'm not in control, I'm not in control. I don't get to pick and choose and say I'm in control with this thing and not this thing. Yeah. But I feel like we're kind of trained to be like, don't have a plan B. Don't have a plan B. Oh yeah. Especially actors. Yes. So then,'cause you have to go, we feel like if you don't go all in, you're, you're. Yeah. Not really committed or, yeah. And somehow that translated to me to not just be all in, be, you can't even think about, yeah, what if this isn't for you and you're actually meant or called to do something else. But I think releasing that for me and being like, I'm gonna follow where the universe. Is guiding me. Yeah. Really made so many more great things come into my life, career wise. You know, you're not, it gives, it expands your world. You know, you're no longer, it's not, uh, tunnel visioned into this one thing. You know? I, it, it. And it, and it still has, right? Mm-hmm. Because when did you make this? Two year, like three years ago. There you go. Yeah. Okay. You know, so like, it, it makes, and you've, I feel, feel the most confident as an actor that I've known you in, what, 10 years? Yeah. That we've known each other. Mm-hmm. Has it been 10 years? Yeah, I think so. Yeah. Isn't that crazy? Yeah. I was gonna ask, do you remember what. Inspired you to do this like two year, do you remember what it was like? I think it was my sister's idea. I also remember going to a friend's house and we had this sort of tarot reading. Mm-hmm. And there was something in it about like. Either this is really gonna work out the way you want to or something else is gonna happen. Like was kind of their moral. Oh, interesting. And I think that kind of, I don't know if I made a decision before, but that was sort of, I remember kind of thinking about this when I started meditating of just like, yeah, you don't get to pick, like, you don't get to say the universe has a plan, but, but as long as it's my plan.
Olivia:I love meditating.
Ari (2):Yeah. We
Olivia:should have a
Ari (2):whole episode meditating. Yes, we should. I love meditating too, but it is not, it isn't easy and there've only been a, oh, it's not easy. Couple times where I've slipped into a deep meditation. Yes. More yeah.
Olivia:I wouldn't say like I'm great at it, but I just, I love the idea of just sitting there
Ari (2):because you know what I realized too? We are never, still with ourselves unless we're sleeping, unless we meditate. Yeah. Otherwise, there's always input.
Olivia:Oh, you're doom scrolling. Yeah.
Ari (2):Oh, that's bad. That's my thing. Do you do that? That, yeah. You do? Oh yeah. I have to, I
Olivia:have to delete Instagram every now and then, because if I don't, I'm similar to you with emails. I don't even mean to, and I am looking at it. Do you get
Ari (2):jealous?
Olivia:Is it any career
Ari (2):driven?
Olivia:Do or no? No. Okay. No.'cause it's a lot of it, it's just brain. A lot of it's just the reels and it just, I just think it's funny and I, it's a lot of dogs, but afterwards, I'll it'll be what, it'll be like an hour. Yeah. And I'll just be like, and I chuck my phone across the room. It's oh. Oh God. Like it's burn, like it's on a fire. Yes. I get mad at it. Yeah. Because then I'm like you wished your time. It's not your fault, like it's meant to do that. Oh, it's literally designed to do it. No. I had this thought and I like, I think I had it during an earthquake one time because I was like looking at a Instagram and I was like. Imagine that's the last thing you do while you die.
Ari (2):Oh,
Olivia:what a powerful and tragic, no, but really that is like very
Ari (2):powerful. Yes.
Olivia:And I was like, that's not, now I don't wanna shame anyone who like uses like I do. I would never go off completely because I think it does bring joy and I think it's fun and it's fun to share. And I love, yes. Also, the confusing
Ari (2):thing is our phones do so much good. Right. Like our podcast our podcast. It was, you're listening to this right now. My, some of my so spiritual podcasts on the phone. Yes. Talking to friends is on the phone. So it's it's so hard to orient this thing that can be both evil and amazing for you, like great for your brain and terrible for your brain. Right. That's a really powerful idea of the earthquake thing. Isn't that? Yeah. My toxic phone thing besides email is. And I was, I'm, I feel like when this email came through that I didn't get this part. Not that I created me not getting this part, but I was, I am D being so many people, that's one of my toxic phone things. I'll be watching something and enjoying it. I'm watching White Lotus now, but that's been different'cause when I was in a really down place in my career, I couldn't watch anything good. I was just watching reality tv. Because if I watched good stuff, I'd be like on how did they get that? How, oh my
Olivia:God. Wow. So
Ari (2):it's been, now I'm like watching Severance, I'm watching White Load. I like all these. I'm like, oh yeah, some TV is really, of course, like why? It also helps me like yeah, do that. But yeah, I will IMDB everybody and try to figure out, it's not good, so I need to leave my phone in other rooms when I watch shows sometimes too. Yeah, I do. It just creeps up on you. But that's what I mean, if we just trusted. Fully, you
Olivia:know?
Ari (2):Yes. Maybe
Olivia:I wouldn't argue. I think we can, I think you can trust the universe and still have bad days and accept that you're gonna feel bad. Because I think that is my fear, is that like this idea of I'm gonna trust and that, that I'm not gonna feel that way, and then I'm gonna feel guilty for feeling that way. It's I'm human. Like it's a toxic
Ari (2):positivity thing.
Olivia:It's, yeah, exactly. And it's like you. Bad things are gonna happen. Sometimes things happen that don't have a reason necessarily. And I think that's okay. Yeah. But that's stressing
Ari (2):it. You see that? Yeah. But can we can I accept that? If I'm saying. Everything. There's a reason for everything, and the universe has a plan. And look, I didn't get that part in the pilot, but it led me to realize that this other stuff I was clinging onto and how almost every single success was brought to me with ease and not white knuckle.
Olivia:Do you believe everything happens for a
Ari (2):reason? I think I'm trying to, I think that's the last thread I do. And then there's a thread, right? But then when you say, what if everything doesn't happen for a reason or some things don't, then that's hard for me to orient my brain around. You know what I mean? But you're not wrong. Right. But like, how can it all be this exist at the same time?
Olivia:I think maybe two can exist. Maybe things do have a reason you may not know the reason. Yes,
Ari (2):right.
Olivia:You may not figure that out. Yeah. Yeah. You may never know.
Ari (2):Right.
Olivia:Right. Like you didn't get a part. That's true. Because that there's another person in the universe that their whole journey is getting that part. Yes. That's like the universal collective thing, which I love thinking about too. Right. But it's also like, how do you know? Right. How do we know? Yeah. And I think a lot of that feels better to me. Yeah. Yes, it does feel better. Absolutely.
Ari (2):And that's okay. Yeah. That was the other thing I realized when I was at the Grand Canyon and I was talking to myself and writing about how I'm gonna figure out my relationship with God. I remember writing down, if it makes my life better to believe, then why don't I believe? If I have the ability to believe in something, like it feels like there's a part of me that could believe this and it makes my life easier, why not believe it? Even though there is a part of me that I could have leaned into that was like, don't that you don't believe that I. But if it was a, if there was a nugget of truth to it that I could believe in, why not? If it makes your life better and easier,
Olivia:I think that's the, just the turning point.
Ari (2):Yeah. It's
Olivia:And it's so interesting that you had that thought on that day in the Grand Canyon of like. Why, what's holding me back?
Ari (2):Basically? Yeah. I guess That's where I am now because of the thread. It's if it serves me to believe that everything happens for a reason and that the universe has all of it, and that all I can do is be open. And of course like do the work. There's like an alternate universe of us talking about this where it's we're just gonna do nothing. Right. We definitely don't do nothing. No, we do a lot. No we submit, we prepare. Yeah. We do the work. Yeah.
Olivia:Yes.
Ari (2):Yeah. So it's not that. And we want it and we want it and it's in us. But also just letting it go, how it's gonna go.
Olivia:Here's something that might be crazy.
Ari (2):Okay.
Olivia:Oh. What if,'cause you keep on referring to this last thread. Yeah. And you like, but what if I can trust? What if I could be a hundred percent? Yeah. What if that's going back to white knuckling it? Like I, that sounds, does that make sense? I think there is a way to trust. Yeah. And I think, but I think if you're like, trying to figure out how to trust it or like trying to understand it, I think I, it may be one of those we can talk about this over and over again, right? And there's gonna be so many okay, what about this? What about this? And I think that I think it's okay to be searching. Interesting. Does that make sense? And maybe it's like uncomfortable and maybe it's you, us figuring out maybe that is the last thing, but like, how do we know?
Ari (2):Right,
Olivia:right. Is ne is this a never ending journey? Like I think,
Ari (2):I think it's all yes. But I think there's different battles and I think it's like what you feel called to do. Like for me, I think that resonates. But I also think I've been given some scissors, to cut the thread.
Ari:The scissors to cut the thread are fixing my sleep because this sleep thing is this form of release and control. And not checking my emails all the time.'cause that's also me trying to control the outcome. And will an email to come into my inbox. Mm-hmm. That says you got a part. Yeah. Yeah. Like if it's not my plan, it's not my plan. I can't will it and me trying to will it is actually pushing it further away from me. Right.
Ari (2):Like these are two things that I can point to right now and say these are elements of me. And a control issue. Yeah. Like I think it's possible to overcome these and to not be obsessed with my email. And to be getting good rest consistently. And then if the thread doesn't come, but I see what you're saying. If the thread is still not cut after using both of those pairs of scissors, do you just accept that the threat of doubt is a part? I
Olivia:think that's what I'm saying maybe it's the word doubt that I'm going back and forth. Sure.'cause I see what you mean of okay, let go of the doubt. Why? Why can't we just let go of that? And then what? Then? But I just maybe it's just human experience to doubt like. That sounds wise. I dunno. I'm, I guess I'm also figuring this out too, and it's and this is why we make a good podcast Yeah. Is because we, have different, Yeah. Because I feel like I come at it very loosey goosey, right? Yes. I'm not quite sure. But that's, you're like okay. Yeah. But then, but also like I maybe not have had as many revelations and in figuring out, and I think it's no, I think it's all great. And I don't know, maybe instead of think of it as like the last thread, instead of cutting the thread, maybe we're building the quilt. Maybe we're building more habits, the sleep, the emails interesting. Maybe we're building more. To overcome the doubt if that is what you feel is holding you back.
Ari (2):I think that makes a lot of sense.'cause I do think you could be right that I'm still looking for a form of control in a different way and the cutting of the thread to me means and then I will just have absolute belief. And that is still an absolute, like I just said, absolute. That is still an absolutism. Yeah. Because it's harder when things are complicated. Yeah.
Olivia:We have not reached Nirvana.
Ari (2):Right. But then, I don't know. It's going on forever. The problem that I have, the problem that I have is this what I have asked for guidance or like the thing that happened when I shot Dexter with the date thing. That was crazy. Which was crazy. Yes. Which we'll explain now, which is that. I was listening to another podcast and it said, pick a date and just assume that on that date your life changes. Your problem is solved. What you want happens on that date, and how are you living? If that is true, how are you living? And I remember talking to you about it. It was Lion's Portal. It was Lion's Portal. Yes. On eight. Oh, August 8th. That's right. Yeah. And it was July 8th, so I just happened to choose. I said, okay, a month, August 8th. Great. And I was not worrying about it. I was like taking care of my body. I was eating good food and because in my head I was like, okay, August 8th, the dream role knocks on my door. I wanna be physically, mentally fit. I wanna be like, ready. I don't know what the role is. There's nothing for me to prepare. I don't know the script. I don't know what it's gonna be, but I wanna be ready, and that's how I was living. And then I booked this Dexter thing, and first of all, it was supposed to shoot on August 9th, and then they came at me and they were like, they actually want you two days, August 8th and August 9th. Which I was like, see, because the universe really was like, yes, I feel like the universe knew I wasn't gonna get it unless it was like all the things. And the last thing was like, and it's also on the eighth. Okay, that was eighth. Pay attention. So then that is what makes me be like, magical. It was magical and it really I, it really makes me feel like there it is working in my favor and the more I can trust it, the more it will work in my favor.
Olivia:I have an idea. Okay. That's something we should do, and we talked about this before, but I think we should pursue that idea more picking a month from today. You did it already? I picked a date. Oh, she's already picked a date, folks. Okay. But she's
Ari (2):already met a date. I almost don't wanna tell you again. Okay. No. That's the fear I have is the pressure of the date.
Olivia:I picked it a long time ago. Okay. I was gonna think. Okay. I think you can still keep that date. But also maybe add this. Okay. Is this idea of I don't know. On every, the Friday, the first Friday every month. I don't know. Whatever we want. Okay. Something is going to happen that is going to upgrade us, elevate us, make us stronger, make us feel good, whatever. Because life's, like we said, a circle up and down. And I think having those small increments, right? Of time, of and I'm sure subconsciously that month leading up to Right, you gave yourself that month. I. I'm sure you were doing a lot of subconscious work and I things that led you to those things. Yeah. As well as the universe, right? Like obviously there was other outside Yes. Things happening that allowed you to get,
Ari (2):Yeah. I think it's both outside and inside. Both.
Olivia:Yes,
Ari (2):exactly. I think it is partially. Magic. Yes. And partially your own mind and body and Yeah. And then this whole collective thing comes in, which I haven't figured that out. Maybe somebody will come on here and explain it to me.
Olivia:I way that makes sense.
Ari (2):We've got a lot of stuff to chew. We've got
Olivia:big ideas, guys. Okay. But you're saying'cause first Friday of every month, I don't know. Yeah, I just look, I'm thinking of what are the things we could do day to day maybe it's gonna be like. Not as big as like getting Dexter or something like that, but maybe it's finding out good news about other stuff. Maybe it's not always career stuff, is what I'm saying. Yes. I don't know. I just had that idea when you were like talking about it and I was like maybe we just have more of those, let's pick a date for you. What's today? What's today? March
Ari (2):14th. Okay. April 14th. Okay. April 14th. Yeah. That's good. We don't know what it's gonna be. Something great's gonna happen on April 14. I wonder what kind of day that is. I don't, I wanna know. Okay. You want, is it, I don't know why it sounds like good that you're into astrology.'cause I know nothing. I'm like, it's like fun to think about, so
Olivia:I know, but I, at the end of the day, I just also think it's fun. Yeah. 14. 14. I love it when it aligns. Oh, it's a Monday, folks.
Ari (2):Okay. Okay. You know what? I have another question for you while we're here. Yes. There's something about when you talk about your spirituality and the loosey goofiness that it makes me wonder if you are like running from something that you really feel like, this is unequivocally my belief. Do you feel like you're running from anything like that?
Olivia:I don't think I'm running from it. I think the fear you might be detecting or like the downplay or whatever uhhuh is that I kinda like how I said like I nitpick things is I don't feel very strong or in it. Like I feel like I've always liked it. I've always wanted it, but like I'm not consistent.
Ari (2):Is there a reason why you're not consistent? Are you afraid that if you are consistent and it doesn't work out, you will have lost something?
Olivia:I
Ari (2):don't
Olivia:think, I don't think so. Like truly and honestly, I really don't think so. I don't know why I would be holding back. I don't know if it's just like my personality I think what I like about this, the idea of spirituality, is that there are no right answers. And that it is all personal. And I think I like it being something that I could always go to, but that doesn't, it's not my whole Thing. But I have noticed I would like, to actually know my tarot cards. I would like to know the history, I feel, I'm like, I'm not a fraud, but like I know a lot about little things. No, I don't feel like you're a fraud.
Ari (2):I never felt, I've never felt like that. Thank you. But maybe that's.
Olivia:How I feel.'cause I'm okay not knowing. Yes. I'm not Okay. I'm genuinely okay not knowing because I don't know if I ever will know. I don't know. Right. And I think that's I think that's pretty cool.
Ari (2):I think that's cool. I think, I think it. And a lot of ways I feel like the universe has brought a sail to you. Yes. Because Yes. To challenge each other. Yes. Like I am pr very regimented I think. Yeah. In a lot of these practices. And partially because I feel like it has been proven to me that it's like getting me what I want in my life. And I think you are not regimented, but I wonder what it would be like if we, if I. I don't know. I don't know, like maybe we switch bodies.
Olivia:Hair
Ari (2):trap,
Olivia:is that it? No. But the you're thinking of Freaky Friday. I am. Oh yes. Yeah. I don't know. I think you're right. I think that we are meant to,'cause I think I do want to feel more. Dived in.
Ari (2):Yeah.
Olivia:'cause I do feel happier when I am Right that way. And maybe it's'cause when I've had like tough couple years, I do just let it go. Right? I don't know if, I mean to and I, or maybe I just don't know yet of like, why I just let it go. Yeah. I don't think it's
Ari (2):like shame.
Olivia:Okay. Good. Or anything like that. Right? As I'm thinking about it more. Okay. Of, I'm always afraid to get specific.
Ari (2):Oh, do you feel
Olivia:like you're a not specific manifester? Have you heard of that? Not a specific manifester at all. Okay. And I know I've heard so much about it. But I feel like that doesn't compute quite yet. Interesting.
Ari (2):I don't think it has to.
Olivia:Yeah. But you feel like if you guess specific, I also don't know what I want sometimes. Whoa. You know what I mean? If I, like I've heard people do, because I've done the artist's way and they do that, you get really specific and I'm like, okay, hold up because I'm on Broadway, but I'm also doing this and I'm also doing this. And I also like, and I, and it's and I can't just go. This is what I want. Okay.
Ari (2):This is a possibility that maybe will help you. I don't know if we, I think it would help if we're taking this month with you. We're gonna, and we're working on like consistency in the month to see if things change. Right. Okay. I feel and in this month I also am going to work on. Not being inconsistent, but not being as regimented and not looking for the end result basically. Okay.
Olivia:Yes. I think because I don't want you to let go of your rituals and practices.'cause I think that is important and I, yes, I admire you for that. I wish I was the point who like did the gratitude journals did the yoga because again I know. That's good. I think we'll have to
Ari (2):pick a couple for you that you're like, every day I do these. Okay. Whatever it can be like. Three things that you do or two things, whatever.
Olivia:Okay. I'm gonna decide. Yoga is one of'em. Cards in cards and actually get it back into meditation. Like truly, okay. Truly and fully.'cause those are the ones that I think are the most natural to me. Okay. And that I love the most. Okay. So yoga. Cards, magic. It just makes make me so happy. I, And guys at home, you can do this too.
Ari (2):April 14th can also be your day as well, guys at home. I'll tell that something you, yeah. Okay. Okay. So those are gonna be your three things. Okay. Wait, I had a thought and I, I lost it. Do you want three things too? I do want three things, but I also wanna remember what I was gonna oh. Okay. Okay. This specificity thing. Okay. I had a realization a little while ago, man. I just feel I have to stop saying realization. It sounds like I'm just realizing things all the time. That's okay. I have said circle how many times. Circle how many ago about I was trying to manifest. A lead, a series regular. Okay. That's been my dream forever. Okay. But it wasn't about the type of role, it wasn't about what I wanna act and something came to me, I don't know if I was reading something or whatever about no, but what art do you wanna do? Right? What? What do you wanna play? And so then I realized I wanna play, I'll just put it out there. It's like a cop show. I'm like, play somebody who's really witty and fun and funny. Has this whole comedic side to me, but also I have PTSD because I feel like. There's a lot of people out there with PTSD and IDI think it would be very hard for an actor with PTSD to play a person with PT. But I am very tapped into my emotional availability. Yeah. And I think I could actually help. That was the other thing. So how can I help with my art? It's not just for me, it's actually also for the world. It's for people to feel things and be moved by it. Yeah. And to give a voice to something that, that it would be like actually hard for a person who has that to voice, so for me, it really helped me to be like, I am, I wanna play that specific person because I think that I could do that in a way that a lot of people couldn't. So I wonder if that helps you at all. Instead of being Broadway, it's what's the role? It would be like a person with P-T-S-D-A
Olivia:cop with PT over there. How awkward. No no. It'd be like Leslie Knope on Parks and Rec. I don't know what character I do. I do wanna make people laugh though. But it's a comedy okay. It's a comedy that's, it's already more, it's a comedy. It's and I, and I.
Ari (2):And it's do you like that she's doey and quirk and Quirky. Quirky, yes. Yeah.
Olivia:You play that very well. Yeah. I guess I could deep dive into what now this could be like, what characters do you think? No, I think that's helpful, but
Ari (2):yeah, I think that's helpful because I felt similarly like. Kind of what you said about God, of I'm just going to God. When I feel down, I feel like I'm just asking for a result that only benefits me. I'm not even saying, how can I help the world with this, like art that I love, that I've and the talent I've been given, and it helped me to be like, I can help the world. Like you can help the world laugh, yeah. Does this kinda sound like we're just so full of ourselves maybe? No. We can change the world, but
Olivia:Also. I think there's the worst reasons to wanna be an artist yeah, that's true. Or actor I should say. Yeah. Okay.
So Olivia, yes. It's a new day. It's a new, A lot has happened since the beginning of this podcast, to be totally honest. Yeah. With our 12,000 listeners. Yep. Yep. And transparency is key. Transparency is key. So now we are adding on your mm-hmm. Spiritual practices and history. Yes. But first we have some cards here. Yeah. And. Should we pull one? Yes, please. Okay. I haven't pulled from this deck. Yeah, you got me. This is your deck. You got me. I know. I'm so excited. It's the star seed Oracle. Yes. And now I listen to this person's podcast. Oh yes. Yep. And also I was recommended a book by her recently. Okay. Yeah. Okay, so I should shuffle it. I'm gonna shuffle. Yeah. So I had a thing about one of my friends would put her cards in a circle. Yes. And I've always liked that.'cause she was like, they're all touching. And I was like, oh, I love that. It's like a circle. Yeah. As you know, I love circles. Um, but um, yeah, now. I feel like a lot of my spiritual practices are just stealing from other people. Like little things. Aren't they all? Aren't they all? Yeah. You say that about everything. Exactly. And one of them is, you know, I think the typical way is just like, yeah, you, you, you shuffle and then you cut the deck. Check. We shuffle. Okay. So you, Chicago, airy, airy. Shuffle it. I'm gonna cut it. Okay. All right. So it's this card. Okay. Um, no freaking. It's almost like the void perspective. No, I thought it was the void. That's, I got the void a lot, but it's perspective. But this one is also so good. I've gotten this one a couple of times. Okay. I love this. So for those at home, dude, 12,000 have you? 12,000. Um, I got perspective. None of this matters. Zoom out. Common ground. I love, I love that. I really love that. I love that so much. Well, do you wanna read the thingy? We were just talking about if we should have each of our guests pull a card, which I really like the idea of, but I wonder if some people will be, I think it'd be optional. Yeah. Okay. Well, you know, like off mic. Yeah. And then we won't judge. Yeah, we won't judge. No, seriously. Totally up to, it's totally up to them. Um. Okay, so those who wanna know perspective, none of this matters. Zoom out common ground. Take a step back and look at the bigger picture of your life. Step away from the blinkering. Blinkered vision. Uh, and reactive frame of mind of the me against them. Change your perspective. Shift your point of view and zoom out, out, out. We see the planet as ours to own and conquer, pillaging the land and setting ourselves up for eventual extinction. This moment is a breath in the timeline of your life. This life is a fleeting moment in the tapestry of your soul's experience. And the timeline of all that is, was, and ever will be. Wow. Wow. This is a good dovetail. Yes. Because, um, in the, the part of this podcast that got edited out, you talked a lot about how a lot of your spiritual practices are grounded in nature. Yes. Yes. So maybe we could say that again. Okay. But like as if for the first time, um, you know, what area, you know, where my spiritual practices come from, I have no idea. Um, no, I think, I think that's just when I say nature, I, I, I, I mean a lot of, I think religions and spiritual practices lean on nature. Yeah. Or, or being inspired by nature. And that whenever it's related specifically to nature, that is just what has always resonated to me. Mm-hmm. Um, that's when I feel the most spiritual, you know? Do you feel like more so in the woods, more so at the beach, or it doesn't matter. It's just like outside water is a key component. Um, but I think just being outside. Mm-hmm. I think feeling. Small on this earth is what like, I think being in the ocean is a, is a big one. Yeah. Um, but also being in the mountains, it's like the reminder that I'm just a wee little thing, you know? Just a wee little, I'm just a little guy. Yeah. Yeah. I grew up in the desert and, this was all here first. Yeah. You know, and it just, it just, it feels sacred, there's such a universality to that. Like, I feel like I often think about this shared experience of being at a concert. Mm-hmm. How people get like addicted to being at concerts or sporting events. Yeah. Because it's like, it is like you can't deny, even if you're not a sports fan or a music fan, you can't deny the collective like heartbeat of events like that. Yeah. Yeah. And similarly in nature, I feel like it's hard to, even just, when I go on a walk and I'm like looking out at the sky, it's, you can't deny that or having like some flowers on your kitchen table. Yeah. You know, I just, which is the joy to it. Yeah You know, I just, there is a connection there and yeah,, it is just, it sounds basic to say, but it is just mm-hmm. It's so true. And, and that's why I think when we're talking, you know, the edited version Yeah. Was, you know, I talked about how I. Pick and choose, and I'm, I still don't, I wouldn't, I couldn't just name my spirituality. I'm still, I guess, figuring that out. Mm-hmm. But I do know it's rooted in nature. Yeah. That is, that just, that's immediate to me.
Olivia:Another thing that I've been starting to get really into, like really these, like last couple years, are the seasons. Mm. Like every solstice and Equinox, I like to sit down and write a bucket list of, Ooh, I love that. What, what I'm gonna do and, and I What are some things that have been on it? Well, okay, so like this, the new one, the spring, right? For me, spring's about like, new beginning. So I have one time been like, I think for Spring I like to focus on any new activities I wanna try. Okay. Like I wanna get back into like hula hooping or I want to, plant more flowers. There's something about listening and, enjoying what the seasons force you to do, but what they're encouraging to you to do. You know, like spring's all about new beginnings and then the fall is like, it's quieting and, and reflection. And the same with the winter. So like, I know there's something about like going into that every year and just following that and kind of watching myself go through that cycle of, you know, blooming kind of going into rest creation and. Yeah. Yeah. I was gonna ask you if you feel like it is your artistic journey in some way as well, like because of that. Mm-hmm. Are you able to, yeah. In the dark times, be like, this is the winter. Yes. Yes. I'm hibernating. Yes. And I'll bloom again. I've thought about that way. Yeah. Or, or, I think of it as like, okay, I'm not getting a lot of auditions. Maybe. Maybe I focus on enhancing a skill of some kind. You know? I feel like I've just, or reading more. Yeah. Yeah. I just started to really have that thought consistently in a way that is beneficial of there will always be another audition. Mm-hmm. There will be. Yeah. Like even the people who get no auditions ever, there will be an audition. Yes. There's just, it's impossible for there not to be. Yes. Yes. So that does help me. Yeah. And it's also a way to like, not feel like you're stuck for me. You know? There's always something to be doing. Yeah. I love that.
Mm-hmm. Um, yeah. So that's part of it. And then cards, cards are part of it. And then cards, I love Oracle and tar cards very, very much. Um, who do you think is, do you think that something is talking to you through it? Like, do you think. The universe or spirit guides or something is giving you a message or do you, or, because some people feel like when they pull a card, it's just their reaction to it is like what the quote unquote magic is. It's like how they're receiving it. That is the magic I think. I think a little bit of both. Mm-hmm. Because. Whenever. Okay. Whenever I,'cause I also love to pull cards for other people. Mm. That's like one of my favorite things. I love to do it for myself, but I also love to do it with other people.'cause it's a great way to learn about people. And a lot of times for people who've never pulled cards or anything like that, I always, I like to say, you know, don't stress about it. Don't worry about it. Mm-hmm. It's whatever you bring. Yeah. But you know, it's whatever. If you're open to it, you will find something. You know, that's, I kind of just like to like take the pressure off. Yeah. And that's how I view it in general too. So I do think that there, yeah, there is something about sometimes you pull it. And it's just what you need to hear. And that's a question I ask when I do generally pull a card that it could be, what do you need to hear? Just like, what do I need to hear? Mm-hmm. You know? Um, and I also like to say like, if you don't resonate with a card, like we could pull a new one or, you know, and I give that, you know, I, I allow that for myself too if I'm just like pulling privately. Um, I think you have to be, you do you that every day. Yes, yes. I've gotten really good about it, actually. Great. I've been tried. Yes. In the morning pulling a card the basic, what do I need to hear or what is this gay gonna bring me? there have been times where you do pull cards that it's not just your mind. Mm. You know, it feels like there's too much of a coincidence that it's, it's, it's too relatable that I do feel like there is some kind of energy, whether it's a spear guide or otherwise channeling through the cards. Mm-hmm. Um, but I don't think that's every time hot take. I don't think that's every time, and I think that's okay. Yeah. You know, I do think that sometimes you were meant to have that card. And it's something talking to you, and other times it's, you know, Wait, I have too many, I have so many questions. Okay. First of all, do you believe in coincidences or do you think that every coincidence is like divinely inspired? That's a tough question. Yeah. I asked the tough question. I, I got a podcast now. That's what I do. That's what, that's what I do. What? Gotta say, um, there's two sides of me. Mm-hmm. It sounds negative, but do you think there can be just coincidences? Okay. Another hot take like about No. Yeah, super hot. Another hot take. Like about, does it matter what it's about? Like if it's like the person in front of you orders your exact same coffee order or something. Right. I think that's why it's like how big, how grand. There's probably coincidences happening all the time that we're unaware of. Mm-hmm. And maybe the ones that we do become aware of or realize are more, are more divinely inspired, maybe. Okay. Interesting. I could be convinced. That's why I say like, this is a hard question. Well, that's why I think, I mean, I feel like we're similar in that. Like I also think that there's a lot of inside work. Mm-hmm. And mind work that creates Yeah. This stuff. Mm-hmm. Like, maybe I should be more specific. There's a lot of inside work and mind work that can positively affect your life and bring good things to you, as if by magic. I also think that there is magic. I think there's both things. Yeah. I think there is like magic, like divinely inspired spirit guides. Mm-hmm. God, universe, like I, I think there's just like too much there for it just to be all created by the mind. Yeah. Although where I get tripped up is the universal consciousness idea, that we're all like, we're all in one collective. So that this divinely inspired stuff is actually just the collective that is creating this, because we're all one basically, right? Is I, if I think about too much, I like lose it. You know what I mean? I think if you think about any of this stuff too much. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I, I mean, I completely agree. I think because I also, when you, when I hear universal conscious, conscious consciousness, consciousness. I'm never gonna say that word again. I think Yeah. I'm never gonna, I'm never gonna say that word. Uh, I, I like, I like how it sounds, right. I, I love this idea that we are all connected. Yeah. That's, we're all just one massive energy and we're all connected and they're, you know, I love that. Mm-hmm. If someone said, prove it or explain to me, yeah. I don't know if I could. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you believe you have spirit guides? Not really. I, I've never really thought about it. Okay. To be honest, I've been really inspired by like the ocean and a tree. Mm-hmm. So maybe that is the closest form. Yeah. But I don't speak to anyone. I don't have any spear guides that I like talk to. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Okay. No. Okay. So nature cards and you meditate. I know. Yeah. I love to meditate.. How does meditating work for you, I guess? What's your meditation practice? at least five, 10 minutes. I used to have to be, it's like either there was sound or it was guided. Mm-hmm. Uh, to help with concentration. And I, now, I've gotten to a point where I can do it in a, in, in the car, you know, just like, yeah. Be careful. Girl. It's Los Angeles. Sorry, girl. When I, when I pick up Campbell from school, yeah. I'm waiting there a while and so I'll take that time just to like. Sit there. Mm-hmm. And meditate. Just close my eyes. Focus on my breath. And I don't, I dunno if that I have had realizations, you know what? I've had, like things that I've worked through, in my head and then during actually a sound bath. Oh, I love a sound bath. Sound bath. Which may be the peak of meditation to me. Yes. Yeah. Um. Of like a epiphany of like, like I released something. but on a whole, as a whole, as far as like a daily practice, it's not like I'm having. Epiphanies and realizations. Yeah. A lot of times it's just a way to like soothe myself and just ground myself. Mm-hmm. And I've noticed if I am consistent mm-hmm. Then I, in general, I just feel a lot more at ease, well,'cause we like, like we talked about in the other part of like, you we're just never, still with ourselves. Mm-hmm. Unless we're sleeping. Yeah. And there's so much input now. Yeah. I feel like I've gotten better at it, but the times I've slept into a deep me meditation. Slipped, slipped, slipped, slipped, slipped. That's a Freudian thing maybe? Or what is it? Not Freudian. Yeah, a slipped Freudian slip. Yeah. Okay. Yes. Okay. Yeah, because it feels like I'm under myself. Right. That's such an interesting image and not above. Yeah. Do you feel above or you don't feel, or that's not what it's for you? If I'm feeling any kind of like physical or just like out of, um. It's more a tingly sensation. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I get that too. And when I open my eyes is when I kind of feel it the most in a weird way. Do you close your eyes? Yeah. Okay. Yeah.'cause now everyone closes their eyes. While meditating, but if it's like long enough and then afterwards when I open my eyes, it's almost like. I was in this like little bubble. Mm. It's like Glinda and Wicked and she popped her, but boop. Mm-hmm. And then I'm just like, back in the world again. Yeah. It's kind of magic. Yeah. It just feels, it's like a little reset. What is your spiritual history and how did you come to, to find these practices? Okay. Um, I would say in general, I didn't really grow up religious. And my stepdad was, uh, Catholic. And so I went to church with him for a little bit and there was a time that I like believed in God. Mm-hmm. do you believe in God now? No. What do you believe in now? I, if I believe that there is. Energy, a universal spirit. Okay. Less, but you don't believe it's a higher power you believe it is Amongst us, yeah. Okay. Yeah, I don't think, I don't think there's like a higher power. Yeah. Interesting. I don't know if it's because that's the version I like then does it necessarily? Does it, yes. S That's fair. But I'm also like, does it matter? I think about this a lot of, if it helps our lot. Yeah, that's what I mean. I, that's why I was like, it's, that's why when it's like, how do, how do I conceptualize or verbally explain what I, my spiritual practices are what I believe in. And I think I go back to nature'cause it's simple. That to me is, that's that to me, that it to me is. Closest thing I can think of, God, you know? Yes. In that sense. Um, but I don't think of anything like, I don't think of a higher power in that sense of if something, I don't know, controlling or anything like that. Okay. Got it. I have so many questions. I'm gonna just rapid fire them at you relatively. Okay. Okay. Okay. Question one. I'm ready. Okay. Question one. Do you remember when you s stopped believing? Believing God? Believ? Yeah. Okay. But let, okay, well hang on to that. Don't worry. That also, has being married to an atheist changed your spiritual views at all? No. Okay, great. Knock that one up. Do you believe that any, that anything is predestined? I think this goes back to the coincidence I. Yeah, question. So you think some things are, some aren't. I think there's some things, yeah. Honestly, like there are like kind of markers along the way. How about you would, this will happen. I feel like I have free will I just flinged my arms? It was really great. I really enjoyed that. I think I believe in free. I believe in free will, but there's also so many things that we can't control or I don't know. But do you think like you were met meant, meant to meet grants to do things? Oh. Or like do you believe soulmates? See, to see when you say that, see when you phrase it that way, I'm like, yes, we were always meant to be. Well, if there's a part of me that's like.,that's why I wouldn't say like, I don't believe in nothing. You know? Like I believe there, there is something that is magically, yeah. I don't think it coing in a way, but I don't think of it. I guess I'm not, I, you know what? I don't know. You know what? Listen, it doesn't feel hypo. I don't, to me if that's your concern, it feels like what you're saying is you believe that some things are coincidences and some things aren't, and that tracks with you saying some things are. Possibly predestines and some things aren't. Yeah. Like you can believe in soulmates and not believe in a higher power. Yeah. Or if that's what Do you believe in soulmates? Do you guys believe you guys are soulmates? Yeah. Okay. I believe in Oh yeah. That's actually funny. I believe in like soulmates even like I feel like we were meant to be together. Oh. You know what I mean? That's nice. Meet too. I feel like like people in your lives Yeah. Are like, you know, I believe in that sense of a soulmate, like you were meant to meet that person. Mm-hmm. Or have that person in your life no matter how. Long they are in there for a season. A reason or Lifetime A reason. Exactly. I love that. I use that all the time. I stole that from somewhere. Exactly. I dunno where, sorry. Um, but going back to when I believed, yes. Okay. First, um, I don't remember what was making me upset, but I was, I wanna say middle school. Mm-hmm. And I remember. Like praying to God about something'cause I was upset. Mm-hmm. And then realizing that I only speak to God. When I wanted something. Yeah. And then that just like was the beginning. Yeah. I think it takes people a really long time to realize that. Yeah. I think that's very wise of you as 12 year olds. I was like, wait a minute. Hang on, hang on one second. Who is this guy? You know what I notice is that. I, my prayer is the same every single night, and it felt, it is feeling like a me trying to control it thing again. Ooh. What do you, okay, okay, okay. Okay. Let's get into this. Yeah. Just like, for some reason, superstition and spirituality to me, can feel like they're on the same train track. Mm-hmm. You know? Yeah. And I think my tracks get crossed sometimes. Okay. Where it starts to feel like if I don't say this prayer the same way for the same people each night, something bad will happen. Okay. Which also, I was gonna bring this up because we have a similar like limiting belief that we're both working on of mm-hmm. Thinking that if something good happens, something bad has to happen to balance it out. Yeah. And it's somewhere along, it feels sort of the same as that. It's like this superstitious right. Thing. So, I don't know. It's like, can you be spiritual without being superstitious? Can you take that out of it? Like, is that baked in to what we're talking about here? there was a time where I only, I, I refuse to believe in bad luck. I only. Believed in good luck. I love that. Um, like all the like bad luck practices, like the black cat or going under a ladder or whatever, you know? Yeah. I don't believe in that, so. Yeah, exactly. So interesting. So I wonder if it's too, it's just like what's comforting too.'cause I also feel like a lot of these practices are, at the end of the day, what comforts us. That's a good point. You it is a good point. You know, like, I think the reason why people choose their form of spiritual practices. Or even maybe some people wouldn't even say spiritual, but routines or rituals are the things that they do every day that some would consider spiritual. Mm-hmm. And some would just consider, that's just like what you do. Yeah. You know, that just makes me feel good. Mm-hmm. You know, some people go for a walk just'cause they just wanna go for a walk. when you said that this is the prayer, is this a prayer that you've used your whole life? No, it's like my children, my, I go through it. Okay. You know what I mean? But it's kind of like the same phrasing. Mm-hmm. Every time. So I was trying for a bit to like, mix it up and sort of like have it be more of a conversation because I do believe I have a spirit guide. Right. So I'm trying to have. More of a conversation than a prayer, but I think I do feel comforted by the prayer thing. So like maybe that's just Okay. Yeah, I think that's okay. Also, it reminds me of, I'm listening to this book called The Code of the Extraordinary Mind. Very interesting plugging it, not that it needs lines, it's like famous book, plugging it on. There's probably a lot of people who want. Yeah. Um, but one of the things he says, which I thought was interesting was like, throughout our lives we upgrade almost every single thing we upgrade our schooling. We upgrade our, physical being and wellness. We upgrade our, family life, our house. We like get more money, a bigger house, a bigger job, whatever. And we don't upgrade our spiritual practices. Like a lot of people are stuck with, my family went to church, so I'm going to church. Yeah. And without ever questioning do I sibling this, is this serving me right now in terms of making me feel like a more full person. A lot of people do not talk about upgrading that. That's interesting. So it is interesting because I felt like because of the, my controlling nature, I want it to be like, this is gonna be my thing forever. But I don't think that's true. I think, oh yeah. That perhaps this prayer is for now and then it will be a different prayer or a non prayer or whatever. Mm-hmm. It's like. I think it's just about, for me, having the ability to be fluid and be like, maybe it won't be this forever. Yeah. I think it's like, this is serving me now. Right. And I think that's key. And I think that's okay to be like, this is how I wanna say it. Mm-hmm. This is how I wanna do it. And then have the freedom to change it. Mm-hmm. And maybe not be afraid of. The outcome.'cause I think it's still the same process. Yeah. Right. You're still invested in something you're still, exploring. Mm-hmm. And that's, that's big actually. That's, that didn't really think about it that way. That we upgrade in so many different ways. Also, I wonder too, for a lot of people, like who. Who is having these active conversations about spirituality? Hopefully a lot of you. You know, it's still maybe a taboo Yes. Subject for something. Do you feel that, like, do you feel any shame around this, or have you felt any shame around this? Sometimes, uh, only because, um, you know, I'm a girl in LA that has crystals and I feel like that's what, yeah. Yeah. And there's like of the WW word as I'll call it, because I really hate that word. Whoa, whoa. Oh, woo. I hate woo woo. Yeah. Woo woo stopped me from exploring my spirituality. Yeah. For so long. Truly. Yeah. I just didn't wanna be that and then I, so then I didn't like that. And, and it's just that word, ugh. Right. Well, I mean, I think, I think there can be a lot of people who have like, profited off of, you know, these kind of things. The WW word, the woo woo. Yeah. And. You know, uh, I'm trying to think of the, what's the, what's the store in la The, um, intuition store. Oh, yeah. Do you know what I'm talking about? Where everything's like$3 million? Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, yeah, like there was a little bit of shame of like I didn't wanna be perceived as dumb. Yeah. Yeah. I think there might also be, although it feels dated, but my scientist friend who I told you about, yes. Off mic. Who's very logical. And now because of these conversations I've been having with her is more open to kind of trusting, like having this more spiritual relationship and, and like that is like awesome.'cause I just think it makes people's lives better. Yeah. Overall. But she was saying that she feels like there is a, stigma of people just being like, I'm gonna do no work and I'm gonna leave it up to the universe. Like it's just gonna come to me. I feel like that's outdated. Like I don't feel like that is a current idea of people who are into meditation or manifestation or whatever, do you feel at all that people are gonna look at you as though, like, you're not trying or like you're not working hard Yeah, no, I don't think that's quite it. Why do you think more women talk about this than men overall? Ooh, I don't know. I would, I, I'm, that's like, I'm pulling that kind of outta my butt, but I'm pretty sure that's true. I'm pretty sure. Yeah. I don't know.'cause I mean, grant and I have talked about it, even though, you know, he's wouldn't say he's spiritual per se. Mm-hmm. Um, I dunno I now just wanna ask a bunch of guys if we talk about it, like I'm very curious, bunch of dos on this show because I'm sure there are so many, Sorry, I just clicked. Whoa. It, it dawned on me like why, what the shame part was is like I don't want it to be performative. Mmm. I don't want to look performative. And I think because, again, I'm, uh, another person in LA who likes crystals and tarot and all that stuff, and knows astrology. You know, that. It's just I'm going with the trend. Yeah. And it's like, ugh, that sucks. Because that's not. That's not it, yeah. And I, yeah, that, that was what I was, because I, I was trying to like, dig deep of like, okay, what, there was shame, but what exactly is it? I think it's that, that I think there are, there's some, I think at its core it's, it's, it's genuine, but that, you know, in the wrong hands. Mm-hmm. It can be. You know what I think, and it's for me, the shame, which like, I'm ashamed to even admit about the shame. Oh my gosh, am I gonna shame spiral shame squared? How shame squared's. Like, I, oh my God, sounds so dumb. I am worried that it makes me less castable. What? Yeah, just like if somebody was, if one of the 12,000 of you out there was like a casting director who was not just like, didn't like this. I feel like there are some people out there who just don't like people who talk about this stuff. Yeah. Because I, I, and I really think it's because they probably have their own issues and history with it, or they haven't thought about it themselves. They haven't explored themselves. They don't wanna deal with it. They don't wanna touch it. Yeah. And like view, serve as a reminder to that. But in my, I need to trust the universe. The universe has got it. Like this feels. Right to me. You know what I mean? So like Right. It's gonna lead me along the right path if there was somebody out there who didn't cast me, because that would be crazy, would it? I dunno that Absolutely. Absolutely. Do you think so? Yes. Okay. If a casting director's listening to this right now, and if you're making decisions based off of their spiritual practices, yeah. Hello. Look at yourself in the mirror. That's crazy. No, I can't imagine. Mm. No. No. Do you think it's, do you think, again, you know how I said like it makes me like, I don't want people to think I'm dumb. Is that it? Like also how would they know? I don't know if they, would they listen to this? Yeah, if they listen to this, are they one on my Instagram right, where this will be or whatever. I don't know. It's also, I think it's that because, ugh, I feel like where I am in my career now. Mm-hmm. A lot of it is also like business focused. Like I feel like something that is not talked about a lot. I know we're like. And we're just gonna have to go back and edit all this stuff out. But it too, why are you so interesting? No, I just, I ever wanna feel a words. No, you don't. It's all interesting. I wanna keep it all. I hope you still listen like two hours later. Yeah. Okay. We'll finish this thought then. Okay. Okay. Sorry. You were saying about casting and Yeah. Yeah.'cause I feel a little bit like I am, I don't wanna say micromanaging my career. That sounds too much. I have great reps. They do a lot. But I'm aware that we also need to be business people. Mm-hmm. In a way that I had to learn along the way. Yeah. That I feel like was maybe told to me, but I suppose to all this stuff, it's like it's told you but you don't know it until you know it. And so I'm aware of I, I don't know, image, I guess. Yeah. In a certain way. Yeah. Yeah. No, that makes a lot sense. Not that it's not me, but it's just like, you know, I don't wanna give anybody a reason to not hire me because I really wanna be an actor, you know? Right. So I think it's that, and it's also tied in with people that have known me forever. Like people will be surprised to hear this, I think. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. I think that's what, I think that's what's what it is. Maybe that's what it's, which is people can be yeah. I'm not saying they're gonna be negatively surprised. No. But I think they will be surprised. Yeah. And coming from me, like this is, we talk about this all the time. Yeah, yeah. That it doesn't come surprising. That's why when, when you say this to me, I'm like, why does it matter? This is, this is just who you, this is you. Yeah. Yeah. You know? That it's such a weird thing to be like ashamed. I don't know. Like, why are we ashamed about this? It's like such a weird thing to be ashamed about. Yeah. I think also too, for me personally, it's a little different that like, uh, I feel indecisive about it, right? Like all these questions you're asking me and I'm going both. Yes. And I think there is something to that. And I, and you know what? I'm not as, I'm maybe not ashamed of that part, and I don't mind. I don't actually, I like not knowing, I genuinely love not knowing Yeah. Of what's going on and how it's happening. Mm-hmm. Um, I think for a, for a while, I thought that you were running from something, right? Potentially. Mm-hmm. With the both. Yes. Maybe thing and, and I and the like, I like not knowing. Yeah. But I, I don't think I think that anymore. I think that is genuinely you. But I do still think, like what we talked about you being more committed. Yeah. And I think that that choice, I would just be interested to see what that does differently for you. Mm-hmm. Not that you like need that necessarily. No. But I'd be interested to see if anything changed for you. Yeah. And actually I'm, I'm excited to try it. Yeah. Um, to see which I think you should only do it if you are excited. Right. That's the whole point. Yes. Of this to me is, you know, do, do what excites you, what intrigues you and. Makes you feel that, that magic. Mm-hmm. I think magic in, in, in a way has so many meanings to me. And I think it's just like that spark. It's, it's that thing. It's, it's what makes life special. I think people are uncomfortable sometimes because it's, kind of a vulnerable thing to, to do all it does is, lends to more questions. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. You have to start from a place of being excited about the questions. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm, and I'm, I'm excited to ask all the questions. So for each episode, yeah. Uh, the person we're talking to in this one,'cause it's a special one special, that's why it's extended version. Um, we just, we choose, a practice that they do in their lives to do for two weeks. Yes. And then we come back and we say like, this is how we felt about it. This is what we noticed. And then we have the next guest on, and then we do one of their spiritual practices for two weeks. So since we have each other now, yes, I am going to pull a card every day for two weeks. Which is one of yours? Yes. And I'm gonna do yoga. Yoga and meditate. Yeah. Yes. Because you weren't meditating every day. No. But now you will. Yes. Okay, well this has been spiritual practices of the disgruntled artist Spora. The next time you hear from us, we will have on a guest. Ooh, and who will that be? I better tune in to find out. Thank you so much for listening. We hope that this has brought you some sense of peace or joy or both. Yeah. Write us with any questions. Please do. Okay, love you. Bye.
Ari:Okay guys, what's up? We're back again. And Enco presentation. By Olivia, suppose an air hatter. Yes. Okay. So as you have maybe noticed, we talk in this episode about April 14th and how something great is gonna happen for Olivia on April 14th and today Friends is April 14th. Yes. So we both manifested it spiritually and just in actuality and decision making. Yeah. With hard work and decisions, but also magic. Yeah. Yeah. And it also was the best day on the calendar. And then I went, oh my gosh, guess what day that is? April 14th, April 14th. It's a little, little nugget for you guys. Um, you can also pick a date.'cause then we're like, if you wanna pick a date, you can also choose April 14th, but now it's April 14th. So pick a date. Any date. It could also be today. Today's not over unless you're listening to this admin night. If so, sweet dreams tonight. Love you so much.