The Art of Offloading

What happens when you try to carry everything on your own?

In this episode of Skills & Pills, we explore the true cost of trying to manage every responsibility, burden, and expectation by yourself. Many of us believe strength means handling everything alone, but the reality is that constantly carrying more than our capacity leads to exhaustion, imbalance, and burnout.

This is why we need the art of offloading. This means learning how to share burdens, release responsibilities that are optional, and bring others into the process so that life becomes more sustainable and balanced.

A key part of this conversation is understanding capacity. Capacity changes depending on the season of life you are in. Your occupational self, relational self, and social self all require attention. Sometimes work demands more of you, and sometimes relationships require greater investment. Learning when and where to shift your energy is essential to maintaining balance.

Here are questions you can ask yourself:

What am I doing too much of?
 What am I doing well?
 What do I need to do more of?

Strength is not about carrying everything alone. It is about knowing when to ask for help and allowing others to walk alongside you.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to the Skills and Pills podcast. Last week we talked about what a privilege it is to carry everything to God in prayer. And today we're gonna spend a little bit of time talking about the cost of trying to carry everything in our world and also give you a few tips and a few tools on some ways that you can start to offload your burdens or bear your burdens with others. We're so happy that you're joining us today. Let's get to it.

SPEAKER_01 0:34

Thinking about how to offload as I sat here. I thought about not just offloading, but being in a space of growth too. How do we actually I'm go I know going back to capacity again?

SPEAKER_00 0:53

It looks like we just need to rest there. Looks like we need to rest around, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 0:59

Capacity. And so, yes, not carrying and everything. But I I I feel like if you don't know your capacity, right, how do you know what you can carry or not?

SPEAKER_00 1:11

That's what I was thinking about. That's true. So maybe even rather than talk about the cost of what we carry, we should be talking about the cost of not identifying your capacity.

SPEAKER_01 1:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:23

And what that looks like. Can you kind of describe to us or explain to us a little bit for the folks that don't know what what really is capacity? Like what is what does that mean from a clinical perspective?

SPEAKER_01 1:34

Uh, from a clinical perspective, it would be knowing uh where you are and your functioning. Kind of knowing where you are. You're looking at your occupational self, your relational self, and your uh social self. So when you bring all those things together, if they're off balance, right? Then I know how I'm functioning at work. Sometimes you're that environment will speak back to you. So if you're doing all the things that were required for you then, I mean there, then there's no reason to make adjustments there, like in your growth or growth there. But if in your relational life your child or your husband or somebody saying, Listen, I don't get enough time with you. I don't, you know, I don't have enough to fill my love tank when it comes to us being together, then you know, then you don't have the capacity to pick up anything else at work until you bring balance in that part, you know, of your functionality. So when I look at, I'm looking at capacity for this function in that way. Right. So where do you need to pick up things? So in that relational area, you'll need to pick up more time. What does that person need from you? Right? When when it comes to work, you might need to offload some of the things you're doing there. So what is my capacity to carry more things at work when my relationship is not doing well?

SPEAKER_00 3:10

Right, right. And you said something a second ago and I was like, ooh, um, but you said that that environment may speak to me. Can you kind of like, what do you mean? Like kind of touch on that for me a little bit more. Like when you said that, what are you what are you trying to say, like as far as the environment?

SPEAKER_01 3:28

Um, I I think being well all the way across the board is living, loving, and working well with yourself first, and then with others. And so I think sometimes at our capacity, we consider what we need to make us full, like what we need to make us function, well, what would make us give us joy, make us happy. And sometimes it just blocks out our self-awareness of what the other person needs. If that makes sense. Or am I considering, right? Right. Am I feeling myself up? Well, let me just call a thing a thing. Am I being so self-absorbed in myself? Does that make sense? That I'm not considering what that other person may need. So when we think about capacity, we think about ourselves and then we think about other others too.

SPEAKER_00 4:17

Yeah, and I was sitting there thinking, when you said that, I was like, oh, like, I I think when we always talk about doing a checkup from the neck up, right? So taking some quick time to pause throughout the day intentionally to kind of evaluate how you're doing. How am I doing mentally and emotionally? How am I managing my stress? Do I need to stop and maybe ground myself, deep breathe, and things like that. So doing this checkup from the neck up, one thing that you had mentioned and that you've been talking is this um uh tip that, and I always get it wrong. I always get it wrong. It's uh reflect, reset, and retool. Did I get it right? Yeah, Yachty, I got it. Okay, so um I would love to this this episode, the last episode was so palpable. If you guys haven't watched it, go watch it. We spend a lot of time talking about really the problem of pain and how we're touched by the world and the divine privilege that we have to carry everything to God in prayer. And so that felt a little heavy and it felt a little weighty for us. Um, but we felt necessary to communicate it too, like it needed to be communicated. And so now we want to actually give you like some tools. Right. We're here for tools, we're here for tips. Um, and we want to make sure that we never miss the clinical aspect of things and that we're giving you guys something that you can grab a hold to. And so um, you've been talking about this a lot when we've been talking about capacity, and we've talked about a little bit ago how when we first started talking about the privilege to carry and things like that, we begin to rest in this space of what hinders people or keeps people from coming to God in prayer, what keeps them from being vulnerable in community and things like that. Um, but we want to give you some opportunities to maybe assess your capacity. Yeah, because what you're carrying, some things that we carry, we have control of, right? We chose to carry those things. Yeah. And some things that we carry, we don't. And I think we talked about that a little bit on the last episode with motherhood. There are some aspects of my role as a mother that I can't get rid of. There are some aspects at my job that my boss expects me to do. Like I can't just be, I'm offloading because I don't have the capacity. I was joking with somebody recently. I taught them, I said, you can tell people as a boundary setting tool, you could say, I don't have the capacity if you don't know how to maybe say no to certain things to allow people to understand that even though you would want to do it or your heart wants to do it, right now in this season of your life, you don't have the capacity to do it. Yeah. And I remember them mentioning, well, I'm just gonna go to my job. I'm gonna say, I don't have the capacity to do this. I said, Listen, do not lose your job. You're gonna lose your job. You're gonna lose your job. You make sure that you have the capacity to do what is required of you and what can't be moved. But sometimes we can offload things, like you said, off of our plate. Some things that we're carrying that are a little bit more optional. So last episode we talked about the kinds of things that we carry, like pain and burden and things that we can kind of cast off. But there's also very much natural things in our life that we pick up. Like, for example, if somebody asks me to plan a party, but I got three other parties I'm planning, and I also have to a work deadline and I got a podcast episode to plan, and I'm my baby said she wants to start gymnastics today. Like, you know, if I got all of these things going on, maybe I've got to look at that. Maybe I've got to say, yeah, I could do the party, but I can do it like this, right? Or I can ask for help. I can say, hey, I need grace from you because I want to partner with you in this party planning, but I also want to make sure that I don't drop the balls in other areas and that I don't feel too stressed, too worn down, and too exhausted from all of the roles and the things that I carry. So anyway, that was a long, um, a long aside. Little squirrel. We do little squirrels here. Um, so uh beyond the little squirrel, you had mentioned something the other day, a tip that you gave somebody else that I absolutely loved, and it was reset, reflect, reset, reset, tool. Talk to me about it.

SPEAKER_01 8:11

You keep thinking you don't have it, but you actually have it. I do have it. You do have it. I secretly have it. Keep uh saying that you have it. Um we're in a smaller space when we're talking about this stuff. So I think it it it will bear well to kind of bring it into the our full podcast conversation. In that space, we're talking about the eight domains of wellness. Like we get together and we say, okay, let's look at what they what they are. There's, you know, you look at your social, your relational, your occupational, environmental, uh, educational, spiritual, physical, and there's another one that's on my tip of my tongue. Intellectual? Huh? Did you hit intellectual? Intellectual. Okay. Intellectual, thank you. You look at um all of the eight domains of functioning, and you will know your capacity in all those areas. Remember, we talked about in the last episode that we're not just like this one dimensional person. We have all these other things that we talk about. Like in our profession, we call them on an echo map. Like here I am in the center, and all these different things are around me. So when you think about that, you're constantly assessing, reflecting on all those areas to kind of say, to see what you need to reset. Like, am I not uh having the stewardship I want to in my finances? Well, then your reflection turns there. Like, and it is fluid, like we're not one-dimensional and we can't stick ourselves in a box. So the reflection part, you know, brings a moment to say, let me look at all of these areas and let me decide which one I either need to improve or just grow. Sometimes it's not that you're doing anything uh of less than in that area. It's just uh like like uh you could have somebody that wants to uh reach more people in their profession. Well, they'll need to go in that extra intellectual realm and get more training to be able to do that. So when we think about um capacity, right? We also think about what do I need to add on. So sometimes you offload things and sometimes you bring them on. And that all happens in that reflection space, and then you get to retooling. Once I've reflected, now I'm sorry, once I've reflected, then I'm gonna get to resetting things.

SPEAKER_00 10:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:49

Right? I'm doing too much, or what am I doing too much of? What I uh what do I need to do less of? And what am I doing that's great?

SPEAKER_00 10:59

Right.

SPEAKER_01 10:59

That I don't want to change. And so sometimes that will give you insight into your capacity. Because when you think capacity, you just think about what can I house, which is true, right? But if I just look at in the reflection, okay, can't do it, you know, can't house it, but I don't do anything in the resetting or the reordering of my life or in things, and um, those particular things are not gonna change. And so what I love that you brought in the space is we can actually uh the cost of not reflecting the cost of not resetting things and reordering things, and the cost of not retooling or bringing on what you need to make those changes, I think that's how it's kind of like not either let's not talk about cost and let's talk about capacity, let's talk about both. Right. Because there's a cost to not doing those things.

SPEAKER_00 12:01

Right. Absolutely. You're talking a little bit about um the the cost, you know. I'm I'm always kind of looking at the physical aspect too of what that looks like. Um, and you know, for many of us, stress, how we manage our stress is huge. Um, you know, I don't know enough to tell you because you talk about cortisol all the time. Right. And uh, you know, when you're living in this place of constant stress, you put yourself at risk. They call it, I don't know if I can say this on the internet, y'all. So, you know, censor me if you need to, but they call it the silent killer stress.

SPEAKER_01 12:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:35

It it there is something about it that wears your body and your mind down over time. And so many of us don't realize that we're living crisis, what we call crisis-proned lives, or we're living in a state of constant crisis. Yeah. Um, and we talked last episode about how one in five Americans are experiencing a mental health crisis or anxiety or depression, or expressing those at right now. And then um, I believe it was one in eight that are experiencing occupational stress attached to their job, but then are leaving their jobs and also going home and experiencing stress in the home and other spaces. And um, you know, stress does uh wild things to your immune system. Yeah. Um, it wears you down over time in that way. It leads to potentially high blood pressure. It it prevents you from doing the things that you need to do. You rather than getting out and maybe taking a walk or eating or getting with friends, you may sit inside. You may be a little bit more sedentary, not engaged in healthy life practices. And so, because of that, the result of that could be high blood pressure, high cholesterol, strokes, heart attacks. These are the physical things. And then there's the mental health aspect of when I house and house and house stress, my nervous system does not know how to respond to that. God designed our nervous system to alert us of threat. Right. But if every day is a threat, if every email is a threat, if every time my baby says, Mom, mommy, and my mind is immediately in threat all the time, yeah, and I carry that day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year, right? Now what I'm getting myself into is um not only physical consequences, but maybe even potentially the development of anxiety and anxiety disorders and panic and things like this too. So when we talk about the cost, it's not just about, you know, you know, scripture says, you know, carry your burdens and you know, bear them one to another, which is our community. Yes. And then cast your cares in First Peter, which is with the Lord. So we know we're supposed to give it to the Lord and we're supposed to give it in community. But when we don't do those things, not only is it not like it's not allowing us to do the spiritual portion, which is these kind of mandates to offload, but then because we're not offloading in our life, it's not only hitting our spirit, but it's hitting our mind and our body too. Um, and so the cost of all of that. Um, and I think a lot of us, if we're being honest, me, I can't talk to other for other people. I'm gonna talk to you. I'm gonna do it for the people.

SPEAKER_01 15:09

Do it for the people.

SPEAKER_00 15:10

Sometimes for me, exercise feels like a burden.

SPEAKER_01 15:15

Right.

SPEAKER_00 15:17

Cooking a healthy meal after a long day at work feels like a burden.

SPEAKER_01 15:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:22

Um getting with my friends after I've had a long work week can feel burdensome. It feels like an extra thing to do on my to-do list. But I know in research that those are the things that I need to do to be a healthy person. Yeah. And so when I'm looking at what you're talking about, reflecting and resetting, right? And looking, first of all, reflecting my checkup from the neck up, what do I need? Jesus, what do I need? Right. When I'm sitting in those moments, we talked last episode about the privilege of coming in prayer. When I pray, not only do I have this privilege to offload it and say, Lord, I'm tired. Lord, I'm I'm worried, Lord, I'm whatever. Then I also have the divine privilege to say, Lord, what do I do? Yeah. Tell me what to do. Tell me what to do.

SPEAKER_01 16:11

I think sometimes the spiritual failing piece of it comes in when we look at the cost of it. The cost of spiritual failing is the fact that people feel like they don't do enough, they haven't prayed enough. But I think that comes in because it's almost like you, okay, I'm gonna cast it, and then it all goes away. Right. Just disappear. Like our earlier where is the walking or working ing out of that? So if I'm working things out or working out my soul salvation, like with fear and trimming, that means that ing means that's an ongoing process. Right. And so where that intersects or where that uh is is congruent with clinical work is that clinical work is phasic.

SPEAKER_00 17:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:01

Sometimes it is going to allow you to enter where you are, look at, you know, make an assessment of where you are, occupational and social relationship, in the domains of your life. How are your how are you functioning? Right. And then what are we gonna do about it?

SPEAKER_00 17:18

And that's what that retool for me really means. Because at first I was like, is resetting kind of like retooling? No. And when I really thought about it, I was like, no, it's really not. Like when I'm resetting, I'm kind of looking at what I can do a little bit more of, what I could do a little less of. I've already reflected on it, prayed on it. Now I'm sitting here with this plate and saying, okay, I can do a little bit of less of this, or or even moving those capacities within today, um, the current day, because whatever I was doing a month ago may not work for today. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I mean, so maybe taking that time to adjust. That's why we've been encouraging that we do this process daily. Yeah. Giving yourself time to check in with yourself daily. Um, but one thing about the retooling, I I was thinking about the other day. I was like, that get I love the portion of it about the tools.

SPEAKER_01 18:04

Right.

SPEAKER_00 18:04

Not okay, so now I've reflected on it, I thought about it, I prayed about it, I asked the Lord, asked a friend. I was like, okay, this is what I need. I've identified what I need. Now I'm going to the space and I've identified it and I've named it, I've claimed it, I'm ready to work on it. Yeah. Now I'm kind of resetting. So I'm saying, what do I need in order to start working on this? What is what is my life and my capacity and my plate look like? And then, but when we shifted this retooling, like, okay, that was a lot of thought work right now. We did a lot of thinking. Now what are we gonna do? Faith without works is you know what Right.

SPEAKER_01 18:36

Exactly. You can't say that we're gonna do it.

SPEAKER_00 18:38

I can't say that I can't say that we're gonna do it.

SPEAKER_01 18:40

I think I can say it in some places, but you say it in some places and not all those, depending on the algorithm.

SPEAKER_00 18:45

But depending where we are, but I would say that, you know, our faith needs works. So we could sit, I can tell you my problem all day long, but what am I about to do? I can tell you that I have a long work day, and so I often don't exercise all day. I know that's a problem. I know that if I exercise, I'll have a boost in in in dopamine and serotonin and all the the happy things that our body naturally produces. But the disconnect between what I need to go from knowing to go from actually doing it is two different things.

SPEAKER_01 19:22

I often tell people the longest distance, you would think the longest distance you would travel maybe is from the East Coast to the West Coast. When you say that's a long travel, if you had to travel, I've learned over time the longest travel that happens is from here to here. Right? Yeah, it may not be the longest in distance, but it is the longest in movement or it's the longest in knowing. But you can know a thing and not know a thing.

SPEAKER_00 19:55

Right. Does that make sense? No, it does make sense. Right.

SPEAKER_01 19:59

Can you talk elaborate more though? Um our thought prize, I and I'm just gonna say this because this is something I always said to you guys if you don't like where you find your behind, check your mind. If you don't like where your body is positioned, who you find yourself with, what you find yourself doing, you can almost always go back to how you think. Because how you think automatically drives how you believe and how you believe. And I touch the heart because I have a saying that people can people and experiences can write on your heart.

SPEAKER_00 20:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:40

They just can. So if you think about when we talk about the retooling and everything, sometimes it's retooling the mind or retooling housing. Sometimes it's reordering and retooling people. Right. Right? So if we're together and you say, like you said, your baby said, I want to do gymnastics now. If she has that desire and that's coming from an inner place for her, and the first thing you do is look at her and say, Well, you might, but I don't know if you'll ever you gotta see what I'm saying. Yeah, so that retooling can mean bringing people around you, and we're gonna talk about that in an upcoming episode. I don't want to go that far on there, but bringing people around you that can actually speak to the thing uh to your capacity, right? Where's that at a girl? Can we norm uh normalize just celebrating? Right. I know my father, and this is something that never left my heart that he wrote on my heart. He would always say, if you can think it, you can do it. You just may need help. Right. So I think I believe sometimes that when it comes to us retooling, we think about. About what is the cost of carrying? Right. One of the cost of carrying can be not knowing our capacity in the realm of when we need to ask for help.

SPEAKER_00 22:12

Right. It's true.

SPEAKER_01 22:15

We need to bring long somebody along, you know, with us to say, listen, I'm great. I believe I can get this done. But let me let me do it for the people. Like I can believe I get this done, but I have technological emphasis on the no logic, logical skills. So that means I'm gonna have to bring somebody along to cast that vision out because we live in a technological world. Right. So if I feel like even the message that we do or we feel like that, if it involves technology, then I'm gonna have to have some help with that, if that makes sense.

SPEAKER_00 22:51

Yes, if it involves and and I think that's um um when you start to evaluate your capacity, it's it's often um easier for you to evaluate your deficits. Because there's a difference. There are some things that even if I had the capacity, yeah, it is not a strength for me. We're not all running around with strengths all over the place. Right. We all have strengths and weaknesses. Yeah. Now our weaknesses can be made strong. Right. Right? We can give our weaknesses fully over to the Lord and they can be made strong, right? But you know, I think what I have found, and the older I get are some of the safest people that I enjoy to be around in any environment are the people to sit that say, I'm not good at that. Can you do it? You're really good at that. I think I need to call you to do that. Does that make sense? That's good. Um, because there's support in that. If we were all good at everything, you would need other folks. Right. We talked about that a little bit in the last episode. It's not good for a man to be alone. And we talked about that from the idea of how we're receiving support in times of struggle. But the truth of the matter is, is whether we're in struggle or not, it is helpful for us to surround ourselves not just with people who tell us what we're good at, but with people who will tell us what we're not.

SPEAKER_01 24:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:19

People who not only praise when we're at our our height of capacity, but people that are willing to talk to us when our capacity is a little low.

SPEAKER_01 24:28

And I'm gonna I'm gonna jump, I'm gonna I'm gonna let everybody jump in the comments or jump in wherever they need to jump on this one. But I just was not that mom that, baby. Like I was not that mom that everybody gotta get a ribbon. Like, if you weren't that everybody gets a metal mark. Like if I'm looking at you and you say, Well, mom, what I want to do is I'm trying to think of something. Uh I want to be a dancer, but you got zero rhythm.

SPEAKER_00 25:00

Like, I don't know. No. I just told my husband that the other day. I said, I could dream up and I could say, I really, really, really want to be in the WNBA. Right. And you're gonna what? You're gonna look laugh a little bit because I'm five foot one.

SPEAKER_01 25:15

And it was only one Spud Webs, and I know I'm dating myself back, but people can go and go look it up. Now, Spud Bell, uh Spud Webbs was that one person. She was the exception. She was a guy. A guy. He was another thing kind of an all-amine. So you can't defy. Right. But it's proof that you could defy Spud. You could but listen, honey, look how many beings and beans and beings. So what are we trying to say in that? What we're trying to say is uh it is good to bring people around you to say, yeah, you want to do that, but able to gauge your capacity. Right. Because sometimes we don't have that insight. And we don't have that self-awareness.

SPEAKER_00 25:58

And so like in that instance, if I'm, you know, at the park at the barbecue and we have a pickup game, I'm calling my husband, I'm saying, you clock in, you tag in, he's six foot two, and I'm gonna be the water girl. Right. I'm gonna go ahead and tag myself out. They would let me play the game, but I feel like for the benefit of the whole team, I don't have the capacity. Yeah, I don't have the things that I need to allow not only myself to be successful, but also them to be successful too. Now, if I just was doing it for the enjoyment, but we're talking right now specifically about stress capacity and what I'm putting on and off my plate. Yeah, it's really easy for me if I say I just enjoy playing the pickup game to play the pickup game. Right. It's about the enjoyment. But you know how they get on the court. When they want to win, they want to win. And so it might be best for me to tap out and say, or I could be doing sending an email because that's where my capacity needs to rest.

SPEAKER_01 26:49

Does that make sense? It does. It does. I think that rests and that retooling. What I'm hearing you say then is that we're not doing this reflection, resetting, or retooling alone.

SPEAKER_00 27:01

Right.

SPEAKER_01 27:02

It benefits to have so I I love that.

SPEAKER_00 27:05

Yeah, because if I forget to sit down, I'm like, I just enjoy it. And I love it, you know, my husband could be like, baby, we're trying to win. Why we're trying to win today. And so he might say, You have to take a seat on this listen. And I have to trust him. Yes. I have to trust him as a part of my community. And like this is a very surface level example. So I don't want to get too deep and wide. But the truth of the matter is, like you said, I need to trust that I have people in my community that can help me to identify when my capacity is low when I can't.

SPEAKER_01 27:33

You know what I'm saying? Even if it's a matter of capacity being low because I haven't ordered things on the plate in the in the appropriate way, so I have too much.

SPEAKER_00 27:44

Right.

SPEAKER_01 27:44

Right? So I I think this can just keep going into a different conversation, but uploading and uploading things that you need and offloading things that are hindering you from that thing that you really want to do or that allows your capacity to be full.

SPEAKER_00 28:03

Right.

SPEAKER_01 28:03

I want to live fully and unapologetically. And when I say unapologetically, I'm not really hanging off the chandeliers, right? And being that girl of like, this is what I want to do. I don't care how it makes you feel. What was that? I think we had this conversation before. Was it Baruca? Who's that in Willie Wonker? Oh, oh my goodness.

SPEAKER_00 28:21

That was okay. So it was, was it Baruca salt? That's what it is.

SPEAKER_01 28:25

I wanted to do it. I want it, I want it now. Mine, mine, mine. So not that, you know. Oh yeah, I don't care how I want it now. I don't care how I want it now. So sometimes you have to have those people say, you might, right? Right? But what I see when I see you function in this way, I, in the world with you, have a better experience of you. So maybe having those people to help you to retool the capacity. I I know you want to do that. I know, like, I would take off to Tibet today. Right? I would. Like, I'd go to Tibet. I want to go, I want to see, I would stay there for a month. I have to work. Like, who's gonna pay for Tibet? Right. So when I'm offloading, I'm doing all these shifts and things, there's a saying that we said we love to say here, you do what you have to do until you can do what you want to do. That's something I picked up in you guys. Used to say earlier on. And I was like, I like that they learned that. I really like that they learned that. So when you're doing your reflection, you're resetting your routine, retooling, really looking at what do I have to do? Right. Like as a mom, there's some things you have to do. What do I have to carry? Like, and what can it's a little optional to carry.

SPEAKER_00 29:47

Oh, it's a little optional. Some of this is a little optional.

SPEAKER_01 29:50

And what's my capacity to be able to do that?

SPEAKER_00 29:53

I'm not gonna lie, like we we sometimes overcomplicate it, but we're we're I love those little memes and jokes where it's like we're really just like overcomplicated houseplants. Like, you need water, you need to carry a water bottle. You know, like this is it's just simple, right? You you gotta connect with friends. Did you take like we want to make it all complicated, but did you drink water today? Did you walk out outside? Did you did you hit the sun? Yeah, did you connect with some friends? Did you laugh? Yeah, did you talk? Did you, no matter what you're going through, did you did you love somebody today? Yeah. Does that make sense? That is the simple things. Did you did you get paid so you could pay your bills? You know, did you clock into work? Those who don't work don't eat. Right. So did you clock into work? Did you, you know, I think um we we really can make it very complicated, but yeah, um it kind of leans us a little bit for those who know who know that if you know you know, right, um, but into Maslow's hierarchy of needs, which is really big in the counseling world where we sit and talk about Maslow's, and we'll keep it simplified. But Maslow kind of created this this it's it's almost like a pyramid, it looks like. Exactly. You have to meet the bottom of the period before you can get to the top. Love it. Now, mind you, at the bottom of the period is things like food. Right.

SPEAKER_01 31:08

Safety.

SPEAKER_00 31:08

Does it matter if I feel like I've achieved all of life's dreams and all of the things that God has called me to do if I have not eaten food? For most people, it doesn't. I'm human. I've got to have food, shelter, water, right? These are we've got to meet these, right? And there's a lot of reasons why we don't. I'm not gonna put it all on people because sometimes there's this world is broken and there's other reasons why people don't have access to their basic human needs. But we need we need healthcare, we need water, we need food, we need friends, we need these things. All the way at the tip top of there's other things, but all the way at the way, way top of the pyramid is what we call self-actualization. Right. Uh, which is when you um none of us really arrive, but that's our version of arrival. Right. You have gotten beyond just your basic human needs, and now you've gotten into a place of being, being in every you have all of the facets uh that that human life has to offer.

SPEAKER_01 32:05

And so I think um a lot of us try to skip past these bottom periods and arrive here at the top, and you know what happens your capacity to do so, there's a lack of humility, and then you tumble down back to that back to that space, like so in all of the things that like we're saying, in all of the reflection, the uh if if there's nothing else that can be taken away um from the conversation, taking a moment, taking a breath, just a beep to reflect, to reset, offload what you need to, upload what you need to, not just what you need to, but who you need to, and then retool and say, okay, now I've gonna order things. What am I gonna need? Who am I gonna need in order for this next phase of my life, next phase of growth, settling of my heart, dealing with pain, whatever it looks like for you. Who am I gonna need to journey with me on that healing journey? And that's what we're going to talk about. We're gonna be leaning into support networks and what they look like as we go forward.