My IVF Journey: Egg Retrieval, Fresh Transfer & How I’m Managing Stress Naturally

In this raw and real episode, I’m sharing an honest update from the heart of my IVF journey. From the anxiety leading up to retrieval to the unexpected joy of hearing that 6 out of 7 eggs fertilized, I walk you through what’s been different this round—mentally, emotionally, and physically.

I talk about how I'm managing stress through a keto lifestyle, daily walks with my family, better sleep, and by fully trusting my protocol (hello, Menopur!). I also open up about the nerves, the hope, and how pouring energy into planning our Birdie for Babies golf fundraiser has kept me grounded and focused.

💛 If you or someone you love is navigating infertility—especially in the military community—know this: You’re not alone.

👉 Want to support military couples going through IVF and mental health struggles?
Visit mindfulwarrioralliance.org/donate to make a difference today.

Transcript

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Hi, I'm Carrie bge, military spouse, licensed therapist, and founder of Mindful Warrior Alliance. Welcome to the Mindful Warrior Alliance Podcast, your go-to space for real conversations around mental health IVF, fertility and military life. Each week we connect with leading experts, service members, male spouses, and thought leaders to bring you tools, insights, and stories to support your journey.​Hello everyone. Welcome back to another episode of the Mindful Warrior Alliance podcast. I'm your host, Carrie Fish Gay, and I am recording this episode from Vermont. Um, we are right in the thick of going through IVF, and so I just wanted to take advantage of the timing opportunity to. Record just a little bit about what our journey's been like so far, um, just because we are right in the thick of it. So I wanted to just speak to anybody else who is in the thick of IVF and talk about all the emotions and what I'm doing and Austin's doing right now at this point to kind of. Work through so much of the uncertainty and what our day-to-day has kind of looked like. Um, things that have been helpful for us, uh, I would've preferred for Austin. I wanted to just, you know, I wanted to interview him, but he was a little bit resistant, you know, super private and all of that good stuff. So I'm just gonna record a solo episode just talking about my journey. I won't speak for him too much, but. Yeah, just wanted to take advantage of where we are right now, um, and talk to you guys a little bit about what that looks like. So we have been here for about two weeks so far. Um, we just had, um, our egg retrieval yesterday, so up until that point we've just been, you know, we drove here from Virginia, um, Austin's family lives. About an hour and a half away from our clinic. We've been going to CNY Albany, uh, which is our clinic that we used for our first round of our cycle to get our baby girl rogue. Um, so we are back for round two. So we drove the eight hours here and then have just been going every other day pretty much for. Blood work and ultrasounds, uh, to Albany. So that has been a, a journey. There's been a lot of, uh, time spent in the car, lots of podcasts, lots of music. Um, we've taken rogue with us for every one of our appointments. Um. And so that's been special to spend that much time with her and to get her back to where she was just a, you know, a little embryo, eight cells old, you know, she started at CNY Albany. So it's, it's been really cool and special to, to bring her back there with us. Um. So just spend a lot of shots and meds and rollercoaster of emotions up until this point. Um, we just had our egg retrieval yesterday, um, and I have a fresh transfer coming up in a few days. So if you're listening to this while you're in your own season of waiting, prepping, injecting, hoping, or just trying to kind of breathe through that next step, I'm right there with you. Um, this episode is for you, anyone navigating infertility, IVF, all the emotions. All the physical rollercoasters that come with it. Um, and this is also for the version of me who needed to hear some of this stuff the last time that I went through this. So let's talk about what's been different this time around. What's helping, what's hard and how I'm doing my best just to take this whole process one day at a time because it is a lot. So let's start with the update. A couple days ago I mentioned I had my egg retrieval, um, and. Last, you know, last time we had a, you know, our situation was very stressful because upon retrieval we had nine eggs retrieved all of them diminished upon, right upon retrieval except for one. Um, so that attrition rate was unexpected and we were super devastated by that. Um, because we knew the uphill battle that that. Egg had to, to climb in order to be fertilized and then make it to day three, um, and be transferred and all the things right. So we were just kinda devastated with that, with, um, with those odds. But obviously, you know, listening to people who just kept saying, all you need is one, all you need is one. And sitting there and you're trying to kind of take that in and process like, yeah. But, you know, um, just kind of knowing the road ahead and those odds just didn't look good, but. You know, that's so true. All we needed was one and ended up being rogue and that was super, super special. Um, so already we're in such a better spot than we were last time around. Um, I had Evan, I had seven eggs retrieved. I. Six of those were mature and six of those fertilized. So couldn't have really asked for better, you know, per percentage of, of, you know, the eggs that were mature and those that were able to be fertilized. That was amazing. Um, so that number means a lot to me.'cause if you've followed my story and I just. Talked about our experience last time. Those numbers can feel so personal, um, as if they define your progress, right, like your hope and your odds. And last time it was so hard, um, having everything diminished and only one making it. But it was all, it was all worth it. But that experience stuck with me and it brought up a lot of fear as I approached this round. And I think that's so. Common for women and for couples who are going through IVF is that you're, you know, it's impossible to not compare like what happened last round and what's happening this round and what's, what's the same and what's different. And then if you get into the Facebook groups, my God, please don't do that to yourself because that can just be a man, just a, a rabbit hole. In and of itself, that's, it's really damaging, um, because everyone's comparing to other people whose situations are so, so, so different than theirs, right? So it's just super unhealthy to get stuck in all of that comparison. Um, but this time around, you know, something changed. So a few things that I did that kind of shifted, um, what, what happened this round, right? What I did physically and mentally that were different. So this time around, I mean, I really think that nutrition was a big factor for me. Um, you know, I've been on a low carb, high fat, um, you know, nutritional protocol for, you know, since, since November. So, gosh, how long has that. June, like almost eight months. Um, and I've just been feeling really great, like energy wise and, and mental clarity wise. And that's something that I wanted to, to try because I knew a lot of research, um, that it was, that it helped, you know, brain fog and mental clarity and, and all of that. So I wanted to do that to just kind of help me postpartum, um, navigate some of that brain fog and the energy, lack of energy that I was feeling. And so it's, it's been amazing for me so far. Um. You know, not chasing numbers or being restricted or anything like that, but, uh, or anything like that. But I'm, you know, I'm, I'm choosing to have that protocol because it makes me feel really strong. Um, so I've stayed consistent with that field, my body really intentionally, um, and just focus on what's made me feel really good and stable and, and clearheaded, um, you know, so whatever that is for you, I, I just encourage you to, you know, do, do what feels good for you and your body. Um, movement. That's something I've always been really consistent about, you know, but every day I've just been, since we've been here, um, work workouts have changed a little bit because we're on like a little country road, you know, we're staying at, um, my family's lake house and so, you know, been walking on like the, the lake road with. My daughter and my husband and our pups. And so it's been our family rhythm, which has felt really gentle and grounding and, and awesome. And it's just kept me connected to my body in a way that just feels really good to me. Um, taking it nice and slow, which is a good change of pace from workouts that I typically like to do, which are a little bit more intense. So it's a good, it's a good, um, good activity that's been keeping me feel grounded. So the stress, this one's been big. I've been really intentional about managing my stress this time around. Um, I've just said no to more things. I've taken days off. I've let clients know, you know, that I'm kind of navigating. I. Um, IVF and that's been really helpful for me to just put up those, um, parameters and I've set more boundaries around social media. Um, really haven't been on social media at all. Um, I took on less so that I can just give my nervous system a little bit more room to breathe, which has felt really helpful for me. Um, as far as support like logistically and, and medication wise. You know, I added Medipure this time around, which is the medication that's helpful for egg quality. Um, so I've shared a little bit about my situation before. I have endometriosis. Um, I've done a laparoscopy and hysteroscopy to, to mitigate that, and that was about three years ago. So I'm still within my range of, of, you know, that being helpful to support fertility. Um, and so endometriosis low a MH, um, and then obviously I'm, you know, 39, right? So. That, um, those factors have, have played a role into what I wanted to do differently this time around. I think with all of those eggs diminishing last time around we talked to our, um, you know, our fertility doc and she had mentioned that medipure could just be super helpful for, for mitigating that. So that has been what we've added, um, and have just stayed low. Um, you know. Low dose meds protocol just like we did the previous cycle, just'cause that's felt really good for me. Um, I'm really sensitive to medication, don't wanna overstimulate, you know, my body. Um, and bonus, that's just a great protocol for endometriosis anyways. Um, so, you know, I've advocated for different protocol and made sure that this plan felt like it was made for me, not for somebody else's body or their averages or their assumptions. So if you're listening and wondering what to do differently next time around for IVF or feeling unsure about pushing for a protocol that fits you, please, please just trust your instincts. Trust yourself, you're not being difficult. Uh, your team's not gonna hate you. You're just advocating for your health and for your future, and for your family and your family building, and that's super important. So. I'm gonna talk about the emotional landscape of IVF. Um, you know, the mo the emotional side is, is real. IVF is a total mind trip. You know, you're being asked to inject yourself with hormones every single day while also trying to quote, unquote, stay calm, uh, and trust the process when this process feels so chaotic. And like, it's an experiment half the time. Um, and, and if you're someone like me where you don't. Normally take medication, it can just feel really, yeah, it could feel really disorienting and make you feel a little bit out of balance. So there were so many days that I felt anxious, um, nights I couldn't sleep thinking about my follicles, were they gonna mature and grow as they as I wanted them to and as they should. Um, and it's impossible not to like look at those numbers and just wonder if you're doing enough, right. Um, but I just kept coming back to this like just do today. Just, just be here today. One injection, one walk, one glass of water, one you know, quiet moment to yourself. Like that was my rhythm and kind of my mantra that, that it kept having to come back to when your brain wants to go nine steps ahead. Right? So that was kind of my rhythm. And when I didn't feel calm, I gave myself grace. I just reminded myself that being hopeful and scared is it's allowed, it's part of the process. Like, it's part of it. Be crazy if you weren't feeling, um, you know, hopeful and scared at the same time. Right? Um, and so being strong doesn't mean being emotionless. And, um, you know, being blank and neutral, like you could feel like a mess and still be doing great. So just, just remind yourself of that. And thank God I had Austin as like my rock and my, my support system, right? For when I'm feeling I was feeling a little bit, um, just not like myself and really unbalanced and, and just heavy. Um, physically and emotionally, like bloated, right? So there's a lot that Austin has had to put up with. So God bless him for, for that, for just being super stable and reminding me that this is all hopefully gonna be for, you know, to meet our, our baby someday soon. And just reminding me of how strong I was. So, um, shout out to just partners who keep their, um, you know, the, the person going through IVF. With a woman who's doing all the injections and, um, on the receiving end of them anyway, um, it's, it's just, it's hard on both ends. I mean, I don't think there's a dead day that's gone by that Austin hasn't apologized to me before. He, he injected me, you know, it's not something that he loves to do. So, um, it's just, it's really hard for, for both of us. And, um, you know, I'm just really grateful and to, to have him as a, as a support, you know, so one thing that's been a huge part of my. Healing and grounding lately, um, is just that I've been throwing myself into something really meaningful. Um, you guys know that we have the nonprofit Mindful Warrior Alliance. This is the, this, the, the podcast associated with Mindful Warrior Alliance. Um, and we're getting ready to have our first fundraiser, which we started, uh, planning for, which is so exciting. So I've just been throwing myself into that. Um. It's gonna be our first annual charity Golf Scramble Tournament this fall. We're calling it Birdie for Babies. And I've been planning it alongside Jessica, who is our amazing program manager. She's been like my ride or die, you know, throughout this process. This has been so helpful for, um, me to have her and, and, and helping plan this fundraiser. So it's gonna be raising money for my four year alliance so that we're able to pro, you know, continue to provide free counseling and IVF grants and a RT grants for military couples struggling with fertility. So when I got overwhelmed. We're scared. You know, I just would throw myself into that event and think about all the couples who will get a, get to have access to. Uh, free mental health counseling because of it. And I think about the community that we're building. Um, and it just reminds me that this isn't just about my journey and my IVF, um, you know, journey. It's about making this process less lonely for someone else, for, for someone else. Um, and for, for another couple, right? So if you're listening to this today and you're in your car on a walk or lying on the couch with a heating pad or a belly full of injection and bruises like ICU, this journey isn't linear. There's not, um. You know, there's not a lot of prediction that comes with it. It's definitely not easy, but it's yours and you're allowed to do it your way. Um, you're allowed to advocate for yourself. You're allowed to trust your body. You're allowed to ask for a different protocol. You're allowed to cry over a number, give yourself, you know, a, a period of time to, to be upset and then, you know, move forward. Right? So it's okay to celebrate. Fertilized embryos like it was the biggest one of your life, because it is. So, I'm, I'm excited. Even though we're not quite outta the woods yet, you know, it's still exciting to celebrate those wins and let yourself feel, um, the, the magic of those moments because, um, you don't wanna put yourself nine steps ahead. You wanna just be a little bit more in the moment. So having gratitude for, um, for each hurdle that you're able to, to overcome. So thank you so much for letting me share this moment with you and my journey with you. Um, if this episode resonated with you, I'd love to hear from you. Message me on Instagram at Mindful Warrior Alliance. Tell me where you are in the journey and if you want to support other couples like me going through this journey, other military. Uh, service members and spouses, um, you know, stay tuned for Birdie for Babies, and check out our donationPage@mindfulwarrioralliance.org slash donate. I am rooting for you, you're not alone. Until next time, take care of yourself. Take it one day at a time, and I'll see you on the next episode. Thanks so much for joining us on the Mindful Warrior Alliance Podcast. If today's episode spoke to you in some way, share it with your friend and leave us a review. It helps us to reach more warriors like you. Don't forget to follow us on social media and head to mindful warrior alliance.org to connect with our community access resources and stay up to date on what's coming up next. Until next time, take care of your mind. Stay strong and be mindful.