Grown Women Don’t Do This in Co-Parenting

In this episode, we unpack a powerful co-parenting moment that highlights respect, boundaries, and emotional maturity.

We’re talking about:

• Love & Hip Hop Atlanta Coparents- Bambi & Scrappy (and his girlfriend Britney)
• Why respect matters (even when it’s hard)
• Letting go of control in the other parent’s home
• Meeting the new partner without assumptions
• And what it really means to be “grown” in co-parenting

If you’re ready to create more peace in your co-parenting dynamic—this episode is for you.

🎟️ Join the Peaceful Co-Parenting Reset (3-Part Live Series) that I will be hosting on Eventbrite on April 4th, 11th and 18th at 12pm (EST).

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/peaceful-co-parenting-reset-tickets-1985672749647 

If this blessed you, be sure to subscribe, leave a review, and share with another mom 💛

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hey, hey, hey, and welcome back to the Cocoa Blend Podcast. I'm your host, Jamie Newton Knight, and today's episode dives into a scenario from Love and Hip Hop. But trust me, it's about more than reality TV drama. We're talking about respect, boundaries, and avoiding preconceived notions in blended families with the title Grown Women Don't Move Like This in Co-Parenting. So now I'm going to set the scene. I'm going to tell y'all exactly who the people are in this situation. And then I'll like move to the next thing. Okay. So we're the people, I'm not going to call them characters. The cast members of Love and Hip Hop Atlanta are Scrappy, Brittany. Scrappy is the dad. Brittany is his girlfriend. And Bambi or the Bam is his ex-wife. Okay. So Scrappy and his girlfriend Britney, they arrive at this event and they see Bambi at the event, his ex-wife. So Brittany, his girlfriend, asks, like, so are we gonna meet? And Scrappy's like, I don't even really speak to her like that. So, right, like, I don't know. I don't even say Bambi. I don't, I, you know, I don't even say Bam. I say number two. So he's referring to his ex-wife as number two, as in to say his second baby mama. Sir, this is your ex-wife. This is is she does she have your children? Yes, three of them. But she is certainly not a baby mama. She was your wife. Let's number one, let's get that straight. So Britney, who is his present girlfriend, is like, don't do that. Don't call her that. Let's be respectful, okay? Be respectful and give the respect that you want to receive. Come on, Britney. Then he walks over to Bambi and he introduces the women to one another. And he's like, you know, hey, bam, this is Brittany. Um, she's been around our kids, so I just wanted to introduce her, right? So Bambi's like, the children's been around a bunch of different people at this point, right? So, okay, but hey, girl, right? She doesn't do say anything disrespectful. She's just like, you know, the children have been around a bunch of other people. So, and then he's like, Yeah, but this one, this one's different. So in the confessional, Bambi says something that every co-parent and mama that struggles with releasing their kids to their ex should hear. Okay. And hear me, mamas, hear me clearly. If you struggle with releasing your kids to your ex, then you need to listen up. Okay. She said, as long as our kids are safe, I cannot control what's happening at his house. And I don't want to. Then the women stepped away to talk at the request of Bambi. Listen, many times when the ex meets the next, right, the expectation is that there's going to be drama, right? Automatically you think, oh, it's going to be some drama. Because some women believed everything that their man tells them, right? About their ex. And in many cases, because the man speaks negatively about the ex, guess what? The new woman feels comfortable speaking negatively about her as well. And most of the time, these women have never even met each other. Okay? Y'all never even met. So how are you gonna speak negatively about each other? There's so many scenarios where men tell women things about the ex-wife or the ex-girlfriend or the co-parent, and immediately they dislike the woman solely based on what that man has said. How are you doing that? And then that's where things go left. And that's where things go left fast. Because instead of coming in open, right? She comes in guarded. She comes in defensive and sometimes um sometimes even ready to match energy that hasn't even been given yet. Okay. But what Britney did in the moment, listen, that's what emotional maturity looks like. She didn't rely solely on what Scrappy told her. She didn't come in hot. She didn't come in disrespectful. She didn't try to assert dominance or create tension. Right? She corrected him when he was being disrespectful. She was like, no, sir. Okay. And then, and this is the key, she was open to having her own conversation with Bambi. Not through Scrappy, not through him, right? Not based on his words, but woman to woman. Come on, Marty, Marty, on her grown woman-ish. And that makes a huge difference, okay? Because when you allow somebody else to shape your entire perception of another person, then you rob yourself of the opportunity to experience them for yourself and for who they actually are. And come on, y'all, let's keep it a book. Every single relationship has two sides, every story has layers, and every person deserves the chance to be seen outside of somebody else's narrative. Now, does that mean you ignore what you've been told?

unknown 5:42

No.

SPEAKER_00 5:42

Right? You don't have to ignore what they're telling you. Again, put it in the back of your mind, keep it, keep it as a side note. But it does mean that you don't let it be the like the only lens that you see things through, because sometimes that very person that you were told to be cautious of could end up being somebody that you actually can coexist with peacefully. And in some cases, guess what, y'all? You can even respect them. Okay. And I'm telling you this from personal experience because with my ex, there was a lot of information that I was given about his girlfriend at the time. There was a lot of things that I was told about her. And it kept us distant from each other. And when we finally spoke to each other, when we finally decided to say, let's be a mature, let's be mature about this. Let's sit down and talk. And we did. I'm telling you, peaceful co-parenting was on the horizon. And not only that, like healthy, healthy communication was on the horizon. Things just got so much better. Like you think that that person is your adversary and they become your ally. I'm telling you. So the question becomes are you walking into that meeting with assumptions or with awareness? Because assumptions are definitely going to create conflict. But awareness is going to create possibility. So be mindful of that. Now let's pause on that and go to the moment when Britney spoke up, right? She reminded Scrappy to give respect, give the respect that he'd want to receive. And I had to stand up and clap at that moment because I loved every moment of it. I was like, yes, encore, encore. That's the core lesson in co-parenting. It sets the tone for the entire dynamic. So ask yourself, how do you show respect even when it's not easy? Because when y'all don't respect one another, the children can feel it too. And then that brings us back to Brandy Bambi's point because as she said, as long as my children are safe, I can't control what happens in his house and I don't even want to. So let's talk about why that right there is so powerful, okay? Because what Bambi said is something that a lot of parents struggle with and they struggle to accept. She said, as long as my kids are safe, I can't control what happens in that man's house, and I don't even want to. Now let's be real. Most people don't get stuck on the safety part. They're not like, oh, what, safe? No. They get stuck on the control part. Why? Because they want to control what's happening. The wanting to know what's happening, the wanting to um things to be done their own way, the wanting to approve who's around their kid. They want to approve how the kid is spoken to, what the child is eating, what time they go to bed. All of this while that child might be in a whole nother place. And I know it comes from a place of love and concern, but it can quickly turn into tension and conflict and constant frustration because the truth is, I'm gonna tell y'all the truth. Come close. Okay. Just because you're co-parenting doesn't mean that you get to control things. It's about trust and boundaries. You're responsible for what happens in your home. They're responsible for what happens in theirs. And the moment that you truly, truly, truly can accept that, I'm telling you, that's when you free yourself from unnecessary stress, unnecessary arguments, and emotional exhaustion. All right, now let me be clear. I'm not telling you to ignore the red flags, because I know that in some cases there are red flags. It doesn't mean that you don't, that you need to um stay silent, if your child's in danger. I'm not saying none of that, right? I'm not saying that at all. But here's what I am saying, and here's what it means. If your children are safe, hear me, hear me clearly. If your children are safe, if your children are cared for, if their needs are being met, then you don't need to micromanage the household that you don't even live in. Okay? Because once you're able to grasp and internalize that, that's what's gonna create peace. Not just for you, but for your kids too. Okay? Because kids can feel the tension and they can feel the control. They can feel when their parents are in this constant power struggle, this tug of war, this back and forth. Um but they can also feel when there's peace. And when there's clear boundaries, and when the adults in their lives um they're not trying to compete with one another. And instead, they're like, oh, we can coexist. This is cool. Some kids really, really love that. That's that's kind of all they want to see and feel. And that's the shift. That's the shift that I need y'all to experience, okay? All right, y'all. Now it's time for those reflection questions. You know, I always got some. So before we close, I want you to sit with this just for a moment, okay? Where in my co-parenting journey am I still trying to control something that isn't mine to control? Have I formed an opinion about someone based on what I've been told instead of what I've experienced? And what would it look like for me to lead with respect, even when the situation doesn't feel easy or fair? All right, take a moment with those. You can journal it, pray on it, reflect on it, because awareness is the first step. But alignment, that's where you're gonna start to see the transformation start to happen. Okay, now let's take a moment to center ourselves for prayer. Heavenly Father, we thank you for this moment, for this conversation, and for this opportunity to grow. Father God, we lift up every family represented, both those who are listening and those that we see right now, Father God. We pray for the cast of Love and Hip Hop and all the people involved in this situation, that you cover them with wisdom and patience and emotional maturity as they continue to navigate co-parenting and relationships. Because we understand that even though that they're reality TV stars and they're on TV, that this is their real life and that this situation is a real situation. So we just ask you to cover that. We ask that you soften hearts where there's tension, that you bring clarity where there's confusion, and that you restore peace where there is conflict. Father God, teach us how to release control. Releasing control is so hard for so many people to do. So please, Lord, teach them to trust you fully. Trust in that what we cannot manage, you already have it in your hands. Help us to lead with respect, to communicate with grace, and to create environments where our children feel safe and secure and loved. And for every single mother listening, Father God, renew her strength, restore her peace, and remind her that she does not have to carry everything alone. In Jesus' name I pray. If this episode spoke to you, if you found yourself in any part of this conversation, I want to invite you deeper. I'm hosting a three-part live workshop series called Peaceful Co-Parenting Reset. Reclaim your power, peace, and time as a modern mother. This is a three-part live series for mothers who want healthy co-parenting, strong boundaries, and the energy to thrive without burns. Listen, this is not just an information session. It's gonna be a transformation session. And I'm claiming it. I'm claiming that right now in Jesus' name, okay? Transformation, okay? We're gonna walk through um setting boundaries with confidence, communicating effectively um without conflict. We're gonna be talking about protecting your energy and preventing burnout. We're gonna be talking about reclaiming your peace, your power, and what? Your time, okay? We're gonna show up as the calm and grounded mother that your children need. This experience is designed to help you shift from survival mode to empowered motherhood. So if you're ready to stop surviving co-parenting and start leading it with confidence and power, then go ahead and sign up on Eventbrite. And I'll leave the link for that in the show notes and if you're listening and you're like, listen, Coach Jamie, I need more personalized support, girl. Then I also offer one-on-one coaching sessions where we can focus specifically on your situation, your dynamic, your challenges, and your next steps. So if you're ready to do the deeper work, because it will require work. Deeper work, right? And on your part. And you can book a session with me directly. I'm also going to leave the link for that in the show notes. And before you go, if this episode resonated with you, make sure you like, follow, and subscribe to the podcast. Go ahead and leave a review. It helps this message to reach mothers who need the support, peace, and real strategies. And don't forget to share this episode with another mom who might need something like this right now. They might need this little reminder today. So share. And if we learn nothing else during this episode, remember that you don't have to control everything to create peace. Sometimes the real power is in knowing what to release and let go of. I'll see you next episode. God bless.