TFT Episode 6: Modern Magic and Miracle Inventions

🎙 Episode 6: Magical Thinking & Breakfast Disasters
Sometimes modern convenience feels like a miracle. Sometimes it ends in fluff, sparks, or a mess you won’t soon forget.

In this episode, Shelly revisits the time she tested out a fully automated grooming station on her dog Ralph—and nearly lost him in a cyclone of conditioner and chaos. Archie tells a family story about Uncle Larry’s infamous breakfast contraption and the catastrophe that followed. Along the way, we learn how Shelly became Poison Ivy Royalty—thanks to a fish camp craft project gone wrong.

Also in this episode:

• Porch philosophy with Arthur C. Clarke and a little old fashion skepticism
• The case for unplugging—both gadgets and ourselves
• An enchanted broomstick

💬 Listener Vote:
Who delivered the bigger misfire? Cast your vote at notquiterightgoods.com/pages/two-frogs-talking or on Instagram @notquiterightgoods.

🛍 This Week’s Tee:
From the Front Porch Philosopher collection: “Think about it—electricity is the closest we have to magic.”
Perfect for believers in buttons, wires, and slightly overcooked optimism.

Transcript

Shelly 0:01

I'm starting this mindfulness practice right where I'm supposed to begin each day with a spot of meditation, so I decide I'll go down to Bolsa Chica and do my mindfulness reps there.

Archie 0:11

Hmm. Sounds restorative.

Shelly 0:13

Well, it should be. But well, this day, it's day one of this new routine, and of course I don't set an alarm. Luckily, the automatic coffee maker kicks in and the smell of coffee always gets me going, so I get going. Anyway, I figure I've got just enough time to make it down there, squeeze in some peace and quiet, and still open up Play N Stay on time. My regular opener's off this week.

Archie 0:38

One of the downsides of being a small business owner, you're the backup.

Shelly 0:42

Don't I know it and I have got the stories. Mm-hmm. But Natalie, she's been with me for, I don't know, the last couple of years now, and she has never let me down. I practically had to force her to take this vacation. Anyway, I get down to the beach, find a spot, plop down my towel, and wouldn't you know it, I've managed to pick the only patch of sand with tar easing up through it.

Archie 1:04

Oh, what now? What's tar doing on the beach?

Shelly 1:07

Well, it's actually not abnormal for this area. Huntington Beach used to be covered in oil derricks back in the day, and you still find them around town. These giant metal structures with bobbing tops, they're tucked into neighborhoods on plots between houses, ones by the civic center, even in the middle of a wildlife preserve.

Archie 1:26

Oh, now that can't be true. The middle of the wildlife preserve, you're pulling my leg.

Shelly 1:30

Okay, well, maybe not in the middle of a wildlife preserve. Okay, but adjacent to one. My point is stuff oozing outta the land is pretty natural in this area. But how I didn't see it, I don't know. I mean, the towel's covered, my feet are covered, but luckily there's one of those public outdoor showers, so I blast the tar off my feet. But the towel,

Archie 1:52

mm-hmm.

Shelly 1:53

Ruined.

Archie 1:54

And you didn't even get your meditation in unless I missed that part.

Shelly 1:58

You didn't. Now I wasn't in the mood after I got cleaned up, plus I needed to open, so I tossed the towel in the back with Ralph, who's been waiting patiently in the Jeep. No dogs on the beach at Bolsa Chica. And before you get worried, I had the top off, so he wasn't going to roast or anything.

Archie 2:16

And so he just sits in the Jeep patiently waiting.

Shelly 2:19

He does. I stay in sight range and I have him harnessed and leashed so he doesn't bolt off. I mean, he's happy to watch the surfers and people on the bike path. He'd stay there all day if I'd let him.

Archie 2:30

Huh? Yeah. The idea of that dog sitting still for longer than five minutes doesn't seem right. He's got two modes from what I can tell. Go and go.

Shelly 2:41

That's true. I think there's enough people watching to keep his mind occupied. I like to think he makes up these little stories for everyone he sees.

Archie 2:50

Well, that's what you do.

Shelly 2:51

Maybe, but back to the towel. Why I threw the towel back there. I'll, I'll never know.'cause Ralph, now he's covered in tar too. Oh no. Yep. That stuff sticks to fur, like nobody's business. I had to shave patches off of him just to get it out, and now Ralph's got bald spots. Great. Big ones.

Archie 3:12

Poor Ralph. All. All he did was sit still and now he has to suffer the indignity of bald patches. Just'cause you wanted to be more mindful, huh?

Shelly 3:22

I know. It is so unfair. He looks absolutely ridiculous.

Archie 3:27

I'm sure. But don't tell him that now.

Shelly 3:29

Well, I don't have to. He knows. He's been slinking around all day, like he's trying to hide. I feel awful.

Archie 3:36

Well, and look at it this way, it is just fur, it'll grow back.

Shelly 3:40

Try telling him that. Wait, wait. Are we actually recording right now? Was that just a therapy session caught on tape?

Archie 3:49

Yeah. Well, more like caught on the cloud. Mics are hot, Shelly. That's gonna live forever.

Shelly 3:57

Great. Now everyone knows my dog's bald spots are because of me.

Archie 4:01

Well, he's gonna be famous. He might even need his own segment on the show.

Shelly 4:08

Patchy Pup Diaries or something like that. There you go. Anyway, we should probably start for real now. Hi there, I'm Shelly.

Archie 4:17

And I'm Archie. And welcome to the porch. for, Two. Two Frogs. Frogs. Talking. Talking.

Shelly 4:27

One part telling tales,

Archie 4:29

one part talking life. All parts.

Shelly 4:32

All parts.

Archie 4:34

A bit

Shelly 4:34

a bit.

Archie 4:35

Not, not

Shelly 4:37

quite

Archie 4:37

quite

Shelly 4:38

right,

Archie 4:39

right. Yeah. We'll get it.

Shelly 4:40

Oh, so close.

Archie 4:41

One of these days. One of these days. Alright, now, uh, before we jump in, uh, let's go over the format for anybody who needs a reminder or if you're joining us for the first time.

Shelly 4:52

It's pretty simple. One of us brings a family story. The other tackles a classic tale with a personal twist.

Archie 4:58

Uh, now this week I am on family duty and Shelly is gone literary.

Shelly 5:03

You know it. And today's theme is"Modern Miracles and Strange Inventions."

Archie 5:08

Mm-hmm. Inspired by the stick person series t-shirt that says"the closest thing we have to magic is electricity." And it's true. No one understands how it works. You can't see it, and it has all these cryptic symbols.

Shelly 5:25

Sounds like magic to me. Arch, do you have any more profound revelations before we start?

Archie 5:31

Hmm. Lemme see here. Um oh, oh, uh hmm. No, no. None at the moment, but I can't promise I won't have one in a little bit.

Shelly 5:42

Well, as always, I'll be on the edge of my seat, but while we wait, let me set the mood with a little 18th Century German poetry.

Archie 5:51

Huh? Yeah. Somehow I'm not all that surprised. Please, please, regale us.

Shelly 5:58

Here I go. I am now, what Joy to hear it!-- Of the old magician rid; and hence forth shall every spirit do whate'er by me is bid. I have watched with rigor all he used to do, and will now with vigor work my wonders too.

Archie 6:20

Huh? Sounds like someone's gonna find out that watching and doing are two different things.

Shelly 6:26

Right you are. This is the opening stanzas of Goethe's the Sorcerer's Apprentice.

Archie 6:34

Like, uh, Mickey Mouse in Fantasia.

Shelly 6:37

The very same one. The Apprentice gets tired of fetching water, so he enchants a broom to do it. And now come ye well worn broomstick, take ye cloth and grain with you. Be a servant like the former, and as quickly come to view. Ah, your head dear fellow, now in haste, adorn; you are as spruce as ever. Now don't stay forlorn, wander, wander onward lightly, so that rightly flow, the torrent and the teeming waters yonder and the bath discharge, its current.

Archie 7:15

So he's dressed the broom up like a servant and, and forced it to fetch water.

Shelly 7:20

Yeah. And it works out great at first. Mm-hmm. The problem happens when the broom won't stop. It fetches buckets and buckets. And the kid, he's starting to panic. Oh boy, hmm. I have done the service long enough. I wean come no longer. I desire thee cease now broom thy furious flight. Bring me not another bucket. Ah, thy looks do terrify me. Wretches born of hell and night. No, I cannot let thee hold it, I will seize it. Hold it fast. Oh. With beating threats and magic, will I try and stop thy path. See! Once more he goes and gets it! And how the bath is overflowing! Lord and master hear my prayer! Ah, he comes, he comes, the master! Lord, the danger is past! Ah, the sorcerer is words of might! He has banished the spirits to night!

Archie 8:21

Oh, well I felt that in my soul. You know, that was me last week with the AC unit blowing hot air and refusing to turn off. I couldn't unplug it. It wouldn't stop. Same energy. Mm-hmm. Only there was no old master call.

Shelly 8:36

Well, that's because you are the old master.

Archie 8:38

Ooh, okay. Yeah, no, I set myself up for that one. I get it.

Shelly 8:43

Oh, just a little bit.

Archie 8:44

Yeah. So I, I like the dramatic reading and all, but I'm guessing that was a setup.

Shelly 8:50

Mm. Your instinct is correct. However, my story doesn't involve a magic broom, but it's definitely magic broom adjacent. It involves a"fully automated, intelligent grooming station."

Archie 9:03

Oh, no.

Shelly 9:04

Oh yes. So this thing, it looks more like one of those retro egg chair meets a car wash. Big glass dome, touchscreen panel, automated everything: shampoo, rinse, blow, dry, detangle fluff.

Archie 9:20

Like a Jetsons version of a dog groomer.

Shelly 9:23

Exactly. And on day one, it does impress me. Ralph's fur is so clean, it shine. Smells like coconut- lavender. He even gets a little bow tie at the end and he hates accessories. But I have to say he looked pretty good. So what's the problem? Well, the problem's day two, I put Ralph in for another run, not even a full cycle, just a touch up and halfway through I hear this weird"whirrrr" sound and the touchscreen freezes. No response, no cancel button.

Archie 9:56

Oh no. Oh no, that's, that's broom energy.

Shelly 9:59

Mm-hmm. Ralph's in there spinning the air dryer's on loop. His fur's fluffing'em up more and more and I'm yelling,"stop" waving at the sensors. Nothing.

Archie 10:10

Did you unplug it?

Shelly 10:11

Well, I tried, but the plug had one of those childproof safety lock things on it. Course I swear I don't know who is meant to be capable of operating one of those things.

Archie 10:20

That's worse than having a metal shelving unit in the way. So what'd you do?

Shelly 10:25

Well, I ended up having to flip the circuit breaker for the whole back room.

Archie 10:28

Oh, smart. Yeah. And uh, Ralph?

Shelly 10:32

Oh, looked like a puffer fish with legs. His fur, was so staticky he stuck to the side of my pants. And don't even ask how long it took to calm him down. He wouldn't come near anything with a motor for a week.

Archie 10:47

Lessons learned?

Shelly 10:48

If a stranger shows up offering miracle tech, close the door. And if they leave it anyway, don't plug it in.'Cause you never know. It may be too good at the thing it's promising to do and it may do more.

Archie 11:03

Huh? Why do I feel like there's more to this story?

Shelly 11:06

Because there is. You see the back room at the Play N Stay shares a wall with the yoga studio next door. And once the AI unit synced to the network. It started thinking we were the yoga studio and adjusted the lights and sound and temp accordingly. It even hijacked the Bluetooth speaker. Spa music full blast.

Archie 11:28

Oh, sounds relaxing.

Shelly 11:30

Ah, you would think, but Ralph's already on edge from being fluffed into a cotton ball. So when that music starts up and the heat kicks on, he panics. Bolts for the back hallway.

Archie 11:43

Trying to escape.

Shelly 11:44

Yep. And I'm yelling"Ralph," but he's having none of it.

Archie 11:49

Oh, he's had enough.

Shelly 11:50

He nosed to open the staff door, darted through the connecting hallway and disappeared.

Archie 11:55

Into the wild?

Shelly 11:57

No. Thank goodness. Into the yoga studio next door. Oh dear. Which makes no real sense when you think about it, but the session was over and everyone was in savasana.

Archie 12:09

Okay, so, so more relaxing than at the Play N Stay.

Shelly 12:13

At the moment. Yeah, he makes a beeline for a vacant mat, flops down and just lays there. Like he invented savasana. One of the regulars says,"oh, I've seen him through the window. He's chill." And I'm like,"not today. He's not."

Archie 12:29

Oh dear. Gives new mean into the term downward dog, huh? Yeah. You know, I, I hate to say it, but at least it was your dog. You traumatized and not somebody else's.

Shelly 12:40

Oh, that's a good point. You know, there's something weird too, that man,

Archie 12:46

yeah.

Shelly 12:47

He never came back for the contraption. It's just sitting in the back, taking up space. Didn't give me a card or anything.

Archie 12:53

You know, if it's still there, the next time I'm out, I'd like to take a look at it.

Shelly 12:58

You got it.'cuz just don't climb in it.

Archie 13:00

Oh. Oh. You don't have to tell me twice, but you know, I, I'm just realizing something.

Shelly 13:06

What's that?

Archie 13:08

Well, I think it was my turn to start off with the story this week.

Shelly 13:12

Oh, no.

Archie 13:14

Mm-hmm.

Shelly 13:14

I got too excited about my poem.

Archie 13:16

Yep.

Shelly 13:17

I jumped ahead. My bad Arch.

Archie 13:19

It's all right. I just wanted to point it out'cause I'm sure some astute listener will wonder if we did away with our system. We haven't. We're just, we're just doing things different today.

Shelly 13:30

That's right. We like to keep everybody on their toes. Right. That's exactly what I was doing.

Archie 13:35

There you go.

Shelly 13:35

Thanks Arch for clearing up the confusion.

Archie 13:38

Well, if there was any.

Shelly 13:40

If there was any. Mm-hmm. Well, I guess we should get to your story. What do you have for us today?

Archie 13:46

Well, all right. Mine's not about a smart machine, so to speak, but let me tell you about the time great uncle Larry tried to bring the future to the fish camp.

Shelly 13:58

Is that really a place that needs to be dragged into the future?

Archie 14:02

Not at all. No. No. But great Uncle Larry couldn't help himself.

Shelly 14:05

Mm. He never could.

Archie 14:08

That's right. Now, uh, all of y'all have heard about Uncle Larry before, I think, and if not, well, it doesn't matter much. The point is, Larry is maw-maw's middle brother now. Back when he was younger, he was the quiet one, but something shifted in the eighties. He got real into gadgets. If it plugged in, uh, spun around or beeped. Larry wanted it. So when one of our family's Fish Camp Weekends rolled around, Larry shows up with this box labeled"Fully Integrated Breakfast Experience."

Shelly 14:45

Oh, please tell me it came with a handle and way too many warning labels.

Archie 14:48

Oh, indeed it did. Indeed, it did. Now, uh, he had this thing all wrapped up nice and tight and, and cushioned with egg crates in the back of his pickup. You'd think it was the fragilest thing known to man the way he had that contraption in the bed of his truck.

Shelly 15:03

Well, it's a wonder he just didn't put it in the passenger seat and belt it in.

Archie 15:07

Well, it, it was too far, too big for that. Plus no seat belts.

Shelly 15:12

Oh, was it pre seatbelt days?

Archie 15:14

I don't know if it was the pre seatbelt days, but I do know that there weren't any in that truck. Mm-hmm. Also, not in that truck or in any other vehicle at the camp for that matter was a cassette player.

Shelly 15:27

A cassette player. What on earth for?

Archie 15:29

That's right. Yeah. Well, it came with an instructional cassette.

Shelly 15:33

Well, that's handy if you have a player.

Archie 15:35

Correct. Yeah. Uncle Larry could have also used them in writing.

Shelly 15:40

Well, did he check the liner notes?

Archie 15:42

I'm guessing that if he did, there wasn't anything useful there'cause Uncle Larry seemed to be winging it. Putting whatever cable here and connecting a, a part to another part over there. Any which way I. There didn't seem to be much of a method, not, not that I could discern anyway.

Shelly 15:59

Sounds like trouble waiting to happen.

Archie 16:02

Hmm, don't it? So anyway, this contraption was supposed to toast bread, brew coffee, and poach eggs all at once. Larry called it the future of breakfast. You know what maw-maw called it?

Shelly 16:16

What?

Archie 16:17

Unnecessary. Yeah. Yeah.

Shelly 16:21

Well, it does sound like a dare disguised as convenience. Wait a minute. Did the fish camp even have electricity then?

Archie 16:28

Oh, no, of course not. Didn't get wired until the nineties.

Shelly 16:31

Well. So how,

Archie 16:33

Oh, he brought a, he brought a, a portable generator to power it. Gas powered loud as a lawnmower with asthma. Oh, and definitely not eco-friendly. That's right. Set it up right there beside the cabin, underneath the kitchen window.

Shelly 16:48

Well, there is nothing better than mixing the fresh lake air with generator exhaust fumes.

Archie 16:53

Oh, yeah. Adds a little flavor to the food too.

Shelly 16:57

That's really gross.

Archie 16:58

Yeah, so we all go to bed with the promise that breakfast in the morning will be futuristic. Those are Larry's words, not ours.

Shelly 17:07

Mm-hmm.

Archie 17:09

So next morning around six, we hear it.(Noise), cl.

Shelly 17:18

Oh no.

Archie 17:19

Yeah, that thing's already running. Larry's got a clipboard. He's taking notes like he's conducting the lab experiment. He's got the generator going, cords running through the cabin window, and the smell of burnt toast just fill in the air.

Shelly 17:35

That's not a good sign.

Archie 17:37

Nope. Nope. And then the egg poacher section. God bless it. It makes this high pitched hiss and it lets out a pop loud enough to wake the fish.

Shelly 17:47

Did it explode?

Archie 17:49

Did it explode? Egg yolk on the curtains. Oh, egg whites on Larry. Parts just everywhere.

Shelly 17:57

What about the coffee?

Archie 17:59

The coffee? Well, it brewed. I'll give it that. But Larry didn't realize that the heating element was directly above the power switch. Now it burned the lettering clean off and it melted the switch to the on position.

Shelly 18:13

Oh, no. So everything's burnt and scrambled and stuck to on.

Archie 18:18

Exactly. You know, Larry's trying to rewire it with a flashlight in his mouth, a a lunchbox full of backup cables and a screwdriver he found in the bait bucket. And there's maw-maw just staring at him and she says."You do know we have a fire pit and the cast iron, right?"

Shelly 18:37

Sounds like her. Yep. So did he ever get it working?

Archie 18:42

Well, technically, yes. He managed to get one slice of toast, halfway golden for the whole thing tripped the generator again. Oh, that's when maw maw took his notebook, tossed it in the cooler and said"Breakfast is over. We're doing fish and biscuits." Yeah.

Shelly 19:00

A culinary pivot.

Archie 19:01

Exactly, and you know what? That meal was perfect. Mm, catfish on a skillet. Biscuits baked in the dutch oven and coffee boiled right in the pot. No switches, no motors. Just fire and folks.

Shelly 19:17

Which is the miracle, really.

Archie 19:20

Right. You know, Larry still swears he was this close to cracking the code, but every time we bring it up, maw-maw would just smile and say,"miracles are nice, but breakfast should never need a backup generator."

Shelly 19:33

Was that the first time Larry brought some kind of contraption to the Fish Camp?

Archie 19:36

Oh, oh, no, no, no. Not by a long shot. This was just the loudest one. He had a whole streak there in the early eighties. Every year it was something new.

Shelly 19:47

Like what?

Archie 19:49

Oh, well, let's see. Um, oh, there, there was a one time there was, uh, the solar powered mosquito zapper. Uhhuh.

Shelly 19:56

Ah.

Archie 19:57

Oh yeah. Only it never held a charge long enough to do any a zapping, so it instead it just lit up the picnic table like a bug disco. Yep. Oh, oh. And then there was, uh, there was the time he brought the, uh, voice activated fish caller.

Shelly 20:14

Wait, what you mean? Like,

Archie 20:16

like"here fishy, fishy?" Yeah. No, it played underwater recordings of what, uh, Larry claimed were mating calls of bass and blue gill. It sounded more like, uh, a, one of them dial up modems. Just garg and gravel.

Shelly 20:32

Well, did it work?

Archie 20:33

No, of course not. Unless you count attracting a very confused snapping turtle that took off one of the oars.

Shelly 20:40

Oh, well now I kind of want one.

Archie 20:42

Oh, and then there was the, uh, foot pedaled ice cream churn. Yeah. That one almost worked till pops got a little too into it and spun himself into the side of the cabin. Yeah.

Shelly 20:55

Did the ice cream survive?

Archie 20:56

Oh, thankfully, yeah. Yeah. It was chocolate mint. Strong on the mint, weak on the chocolate, but still cold and earned. Uh, that one might've been Larry's greatest success.

Shelly 21:07

One day someone's gonna find all his inventions in a shed somewhere and assume he was building a time machine.

Archie 21:14

Uh, wouldn't surprise me, just don't plug anything in without wearing some safety goggles.

Shelly 21:19

You know?

Archie 21:20

Hmm.

Shelly 21:20

I only managed to make it out to that fish camp a couple of times, but that place was special.

Archie 21:26

Yeah, it was. Mosquitoes get bad in the summer months, but, uh. You know, we go about four times a year or so, depending. Spend a long weekend. It wasn't much, but there was room for all of us and, and plenty of fishing spots.

Shelly 21:41

Yeah. The only fish I ever caught was there. Really? Yep. Along with the only case to poison ivy.

Archie 21:48

Oh, my dear. It does grow strong out there. You gotta be careful.

Shelly 21:52

It was fall, remember? Mm-hmm. And the leaves were off the vines. I was off exploring and ran into a whole bunch hanging on a tree. I thought,"oh, these are perfect to twist into crowns." So I made, I don't know, something like five crowns. I was so proud of myself. I wore mine out of the woods and into camp, and I was planning on passing out my extras, but the dinner bell rang, so I put them down and forgot all about them, which is a very good thing, but I wore my crown all night. And next morning I woke up with a rash around my forehead, smeared down my cheeks, and all over my hands. I looked so ridiculous.

Archie 22:31

Oh, yeah, I, I remember you looked more than ridiculous. I didn't know someone's hand could puff up like that, and that perfect stripe of rash across your forehead. Now that was something to behold. Goodness.

Shelly 22:44

Everyone was so nice about it, but I can only imagine what a site I must have been when I walked into breakfast that morning.

Archie 22:51

I remember your mama dropped her coffee and, and Aunt Evelyn let out the highest pitch squeak I'd ever heard. Like she was trying to hold something in, but a little bit escaped. Right. I, I'm pretty sure my jaw hit the floor. I know my pancakes fell outta my mouth back onto the plate. Oh no. Everyone was frozen except maw-maw, and she took one look at you and said,"well, I'm glad we remembered to bring the oatmeal this time, but it looks like we won't be eating it."

Shelly 23:18

Oh man. And it started to spread all over. Oh. Oh yeah. I spent the rest of that trip soaking in oatmeal bath or slathered with calamine lotion.

Archie 23:27

Yeah. They had to put your socks on your hands, like little mittens.

Shelly 23:31

Partly to keep me from scratching myself to death, and partly to keep the calamine lotion soaked in.

Archie 23:36

Listen, when you're all itch at calamine lotion, sure does seem like magic.

Shelly 23:40

Better magic was that steroid shot I got once we got back into town.

Archie 23:45

And I shouldn't have laughed too hard at you that following spring I got the worst case of chiggers I ever had.

Shelly 23:53

Yeah, it serves you right. And those are harder to get rid of than poison ivy, right?

Archie 23:57

They don't call it the seven year itch for no reason. Oh, here's the lesson, folks. If you're in Alabama, in the fall, in the woods, and you see a vine, don't think grapes. And if you're in the woods, in the springtime, do not picnic on a decaying tree stump, even if it's perfectly situated beside a creek.

Shelly 24:16

Trust us. You don't need to learn these lessons the hard way. Mm-hmm. Take Archie's word for it.

Archie 24:22

Oh, oh. And always, always check yourself for ticks.

Shelly 24:26

Always check for ticks. That's good advice, Archie. Mm-hmm. Any more woodsy advice or should we move on?

Archie 24:32

Uh, no. No. That's it for me from now.

Shelly 24:37

All right then that brings us to the end of this week's tales.

Archie 24:41

You've made it through exploding eggs, grooming gone wrong, and poison ivy royalty. Bless you.

Shelly 24:48

We'd love to hear what y'all thought. Which story hit hardest? Was it Archie with Uncle Larry's Exploding Breakfast,

Archie 24:55

or Shelly with Ralph's modern grooming experience?

Shelly 24:59

Be sure to vote for your favorite tale over on our Instagram. And if you've got a story of your own that ties into the theme, maybe something involving a modern miracle that didn't quite deliver, we'd love to hear it.

Archie 25:10

Or read it on a future episode. You never know.

Shelly 25:13

That's right. You never know.

Archie 25:15

Mm-hmm.

Shelly 25:16

Well, should we do quote time?

Archie 25:18

Uh, I'm ready if you are.

Shelly 25:20

So folks, this is the section of the episode where we try and give you something to ponder by sharing a quote that is more or less theme related.

Archie 25:29

That's right. Uh, some weeks we're better at it than others, but, uh, we try just the same.

Shelly 25:34

Okay. So, mm-hmm. Mine for this week is Author C Clark, a brilliant English sci-fi writer, best known for 2001: a Space Odyssey. Mm-hmm. He said,"any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic." Yeah. And let me tell you that grooming station sure did feel like magic when it started grooming Ralph into oblivion.

Archie 25:55

I, I definitely think it counts as magic if your dog ends up looking like a dandelion mid sneeze, but Clark's right when you don't understand how something works, it can feel like you've conjured up a miracle.

Shelly 26:09

Or like the sorcerer's apprentice, a flood and a demented broomstick.

Archie 26:15

Yeah, I don't know if that broomstick was demented as much as it was just doing what it was told. It just had no off switch, that's all. Or at least an off switch that the apprentice could get to. And, and, well, he's not the only one who's been in that place.

Shelly 26:29

You and me both. It's wild, isn't it? All this tech promising to make life easier and sometimes, well, it just makes things weirder.

Archie 26:39

Yep. Faster ain't always better. More buttons does not always mean more peace.

Shelly 26:45

Remember, maw-maw used to say"if it takes longer to figure out how to use it than it takes to do the thing yourself, don't bother."

Archie 26:52

Yeah. She also called remote controls,"lazy wands."

Shelly 26:56

Oh yeah. I love that one. Yeah, but she's right, man. Some stuff feels like magic, but real magic, like the kind that last is knowing how to do a thing well with your own two hands. At least that's what I think.

Archie 27:10

That's right. Or with help from folks who know what they're doing. That's the other kind of magic if you ask me: community and patience.

Shelly 27:18

That and maybe a solid flashlight and a backup charger.

Archie 27:22

Always prepared,

Shelly 27:24

not paranoid.

Archie 27:25

Hey,

Shelly 27:28

you know what's wild? If you could have described a smartphone to maw-maw when she was a kid, or heck, even when she was an adult, she would think that you were making up a tall tale.

Archie 27:38

And if you told Larry he'd be outwitted by an egg poacher, he'd think you were making it up too. Which brings me to my quote, it's from Carl Sagan. He was an astronomer and a science educator. If you ever watched"Cosmos," that was him. He said,"we live in a society exquisitely dependent on science and technology in which hardly anyone knows anything about science and technology."

Shelly 28:05

Oh, I feel like that one stings a little.

Archie 28:07

Hey, it is not meant to shame. It's just a thought to chew on. You know, we got all these tools and, and they're incredible, but when we lean on them without understanding, well, that's when breakfast blows up or your dog ends up in a yoga studio.

Shelly 28:22

Yeah, if it turns a golden retriever into a flight risk, then you might not be using it right.

Archie 28:28

Miracles are mighty tempting, but so is the simple skillet and some common sense.

Shelly 28:34

Oh, and folks, we're gonna leave it right there with those sage words from Archie. Thanks for sitting with us a while.

Archie 28:43

You're always welcome on the porch.

Shelly 28:45

Bye bye. What's that? Miley?

Archie 28:48

Hmm. Uh, oh,

Shelly 28:50

Shoot. We forgot about the merch, Arch.

Archie 28:54

That's all right. Uh, here, uh, where is it? Yeah. As I say on the blog, if we ever need a reminder, well, I know a t-shirt that'll do the trick. It's at www.notquiterightgoods.com where you can find the"electricity is the closest thing we have to magic" t-shirt and so much more, including the page for this podcast.

Shelly 29:17

I don't know how we skip past that.

Archie 29:19

It doesn't matter. We got it in.

Joe 29:24

This has been a not quite right goods production. Starring Joe Laureiro is Archie and Holland Renton as Shelly. Written, directed and edited by Holland Renton. Music sourced via Descript stock library.