Two Frogs Talkin'

TFT Episode 6: Modern Magic and Miracle Inventions

• Not Quite Right Goods • Season 1 • Episode 6

🎙 Episode 6: Magical Thinking & Breakfast Disasters
Sometimes modern convenience feels like a miracle. Sometimes it ends in fluff, sparks, or a mess you won’t soon forget.

In this episode, Shelly revisits the time she tested out a fully automated grooming station on her dog Ralph—and nearly lost him in a cyclone of conditioner and chaos. Archie tells a family story about Uncle Larry’s infamous breakfast contraption and the catastrophe that followed. Along the way, we learn how Shelly became Poison Ivy Royalty—thanks to a fish camp craft project gone wrong.

Also in this episode:

  • Porch philosophy with Arthur C. Clarke and a little old fashion skepticism
  • The case for unplugging—both gadgets and ourselves
  • An enchanted broomstick


đź’¬ Listener Vote:
Who delivered the bigger misfire? Cast your vote at notquiterightgoods.com/pages/two-frogs-talking or on Instagram @notquiterightgoods.

🛍 This Week’s Tee:
From the Front Porch Philosopher collection: “Think about it—electricity is the closest we have to magic.”
Perfect for believers in buttons, wires, and slightly overcooked optimism.

Shelly:

I'm starting this mindfulness practice right where I'm supposed to begin each day with a spot of meditation, so I decide I'll go down to Bolsa Chica and do my mindfulness reps there.

Archie:

Hmm. Sounds restorative.

Shelly:

Well, it should be. But well, this day, it's day one of this new routine, and of course I don't set an alarm. Luckily, the automatic coffee maker kicks in and the smell of coffee always gets me going, so I get going. Anyway, I figure I've got just enough time to make it down there, squeeze in some peace and quiet, and still open up Play N Stay on time. My regular opener's off this week.

Archie:

One of the downsides of being a small business owner, you're the backup.

Shelly:

Don't I know it and I have got the stories. Mm-hmm. But Natalie, she's been with me for, I don't know, the last couple of years now, and she has never let me down. I practically had to force her to take this vacation. Anyway, I get down to the beach, find a spot, plop down my towel, and wouldn't you know it, I've managed to pick the only patch of sand with tar easing up through it.

Archie:

Oh, what now? What's tar doing on the beach?

Shelly:

Well, it's actually not abnormal for this area. Huntington Beach used to be covered in oil derricks back in the day, and you still find them around town. These giant metal structures with bobbing tops, they're tucked into neighborhoods on plots between houses, ones by the civic center, even in the middle of a wildlife preserve.

Archie:

Oh, now that can't be true. The middle of the wildlife preserve, you're pulling my leg.

Shelly:

Okay, well, maybe not in the middle of a wildlife preserve. Okay, but adjacent to one. My point is stuff oozing outta the land is pretty natural in this area. But how I didn't see it, I don't know. I mean, the towel's covered, my feet are covered, but luckily there's one of those public outdoor showers, so I blast the tar off my feet. But the towel,

Archie:

mm-hmm.

Shelly:

Ruined.

Archie:

And you didn't even get your meditation in unless I missed that part.

Shelly:

You didn't. Now I wasn't in the mood after I got cleaned up, plus I needed to open, so I tossed the towel in the back with Ralph, who's been waiting patiently in the Jeep. No dogs on the beach at Bolsa Chica. And before you get worried, I had the top off, so he wasn't going to roast or anything.

Archie:

And so he just sits in the Jeep patiently waiting.

Shelly:

He does. I stay in sight range and I have him harnessed and leashed so he doesn't bolt off. I mean, he's happy to watch the surfers and people on the bike path. He'd stay there all day if I'd let him.

Archie:

Huh? Yeah. The idea of that dog sitting still for longer than five minutes doesn't seem right. He's got two modes from what I can tell. Go and go.

Shelly:

That's true. I think there's enough people watching to keep his mind occupied. I like to think he makes up these little stories for everyone he sees.

Archie:

Well, that's what you do.

Shelly:

Maybe, but back to the towel. Why I threw the towel back there. I'll, I'll never know.'cause Ralph, now he's covered in tar too. Oh no. Yep. That stuff sticks to fur, like nobody's business. I had to shave patches off of him just to get it out, and now Ralph's got bald spots. Great. Big ones.

Archie:

Poor Ralph. All. All he did was sit still and now he has to suffer the indignity of bald patches. Just'cause you wanted to be more mindful, huh?

Shelly:

I know. It is so unfair. He looks absolutely ridiculous.

Archie:

I'm sure. But don't tell him that now.

Shelly:

Well, I don't have to. He knows. He's been slinking around all day, like he's trying to hide. I feel awful.

Archie:

Well, and look at it this way, it is just fur, it'll grow back.

Shelly:

Try telling him that. Wait, wait. Are we actually recording right now? Was that just a therapy session caught on tape?

Archie:

Yeah. Well, more like caught on the cloud. Mics are hot, Shelly. That's gonna live forever.

Shelly:

Great. Now everyone knows my dog's bald spots are because of me.

Archie:

Well, he's gonna be famous. He might even need his own segment on the show.

Shelly:

Patchy Pup Diaries or something like that. There you go. Anyway, we should probably start for real now. Hi there, I'm Shelly.

Archie:

And I'm Archie. And welcome to the porch. for, Two. Two Frogs. Frogs. Talking. Talking.

Shelly:

One part telling tales,

Archie:

one part talking life. All parts.

Shelly:

All parts.

Archie:

A bit

Shelly:

a bit.

Archie:

Not, not

Shelly:

quite

Archie:

quite

Shelly:

right,

Archie:

right. Yeah. We'll get it.

Shelly:

Oh, so close.

Archie:

One of these days. One of these days. Alright, now, uh, before we jump in, uh, let's go over the format for anybody who needs a reminder or if you're joining us for the first time.

Shelly:

It's pretty simple. One of us brings a family story. The other tackles a classic tale with a personal twist.

Archie:

Uh, now this week I am on family duty and Shelly is gone literary.

Shelly:

You know it. And today's theme is"Modern Miracles and Strange Inventions."

Archie:

Mm-hmm. Inspired by the stick person series t-shirt that says"the closest thing we have to magic is electricity." And it's true. No one understands how it works. You can't see it, and it has all these cryptic symbols.

Shelly:

Sounds like magic to me. Arch, do you have any more profound revelations before we start?

Archie:

Hmm. Lemme see here. Um oh, oh, uh hmm. No, no. None at the moment, but I can't promise I won't have one in a little bit.

Shelly:

Well, as always, I'll be on the edge of my seat, but while we wait, let me set the mood with a little 18th Century German poetry.

Archie:

Huh? Yeah. Somehow I'm not all that surprised. Please, please, regale us.

Shelly:

Here I go. I am now, what Joy to hear it!-- Of the old magician rid; and hence forth shall every spirit do whate'er by me is bid. I have watched with rigor all he used to do, and will now with vigor work my wonders too.

Archie:

Huh? Sounds like someone's gonna find out that watching and doing are two different things.

Shelly:

Right you are. This is the opening stanzas of Goethe's the Sorcerer's Apprentice.

Archie:

Like, uh, Mickey Mouse in Fantasia.

Shelly:

The very same one. The Apprentice gets tired of fetching water, so he enchants a broom to do it. And now come ye well worn broomstick, take ye cloth and grain with you. Be a servant like the former, and as quickly come to view. Ah, your head dear fellow, now in haste, adorn; you are as spruce as ever. Now don't stay forlorn, wander, wander onward lightly, so that rightly flow, the torrent and the teeming waters yonder and the bath discharge, its current.

Archie:

So he's dressed the broom up like a servant and, and forced it to fetch water.

Shelly:

Yeah. And it works out great at first. Mm-hmm. The problem happens when the broom won't stop. It fetches buckets and buckets. And the kid, he's starting to panic. Oh boy, hmm. I have done the service long enough. I wean come no longer. I desire thee cease now broom thy furious flight. Bring me not another bucket. Ah, thy looks do terrify me. Wretches born of hell and night. No, I cannot let thee hold it, I will seize it. Hold it fast. Oh. With beating threats and magic, will I try and stop thy path. See! Once more he goes and gets it! And how the bath is overflowing! Lord and master hear my prayer! Ah, he comes, he comes, the master! Lord, the danger is past! Ah, the sorcerer is words of might! He has banished the spirits to night!

Archie:

Oh, well I felt that in my soul. You know, that was me last week with the AC unit blowing hot air and refusing to turn off. I couldn't unplug it. It wouldn't stop. Same energy. Mm-hmm. Only there was no old master call.

Shelly:

Well, that's because you are the old master.

Archie:

Ooh, okay. Yeah, no, I set myself up for that one. I get it.

Shelly:

Oh, just a little bit.

Archie:

Yeah. So I, I like the dramatic reading and all, but I'm guessing that was a setup.

Shelly:

Mm. Your instinct is correct. However, my story doesn't involve a magic broom, but it's definitely magic broom adjacent. It involves a"fully automated, intelligent grooming station."

Archie:

Oh, no.

Shelly:

Oh yes. So this thing, it looks more like one of those retro egg chair meets a car wash. Big glass dome, touchscreen panel, automated everything: shampoo, rinse, blow, dry, detangle fluff.

Archie:

Like a Jetsons version of a dog groomer.

Shelly:

Exactly. And on day one, it does impress me. Ralph's fur is so clean, it shine. Smells like coconut- lavender. He even gets a little bow tie at the end and he hates accessories. But I have to say he looked pretty good. So what's the problem? Well, the problem's day two, I put Ralph in for another run, not even a full cycle, just a touch up and halfway through I hear this weird"whirrrr" sound and the touchscreen freezes. No response, no cancel button.

Archie:

Oh no. Oh no, that's, that's broom energy.

Shelly:

Mm-hmm. Ralph's in there spinning the air dryer's on loop. His fur's fluffing'em up more and more and I'm yelling,"stop" waving at the sensors. Nothing.

Archie:

Did you unplug it?

Shelly:

Well, I tried, but the plug had one of those childproof safety lock things on it. Course I swear I don't know who is meant to be capable of operating one of those things.

Archie:

That's worse than having a metal shelving unit in the way. So what'd you do?

Shelly:

Well, I ended up having to flip the circuit breaker for the whole back room.

Archie:

Oh, smart. Yeah. And uh, Ralph?

Shelly:

Oh, looked like a puffer fish with legs. His fur, was so staticky he stuck to the side of my pants. And don't even ask how long it took to calm him down. He wouldn't come near anything with a motor for a week.

Archie:

Lessons learned?

Shelly:

If a stranger shows up offering miracle tech, close the door. And if they leave it anyway, don't plug it in.'Cause you never know. It may be too good at the thing it's promising to do and it may do more.

Archie:

Huh? Why do I feel like there's more to this story?

Shelly:

Because there is. You see the back room at the Play N Stay shares a wall with the yoga studio next door. And once the AI unit synced to the network. It started thinking we were the yoga studio and adjusted the lights and sound and temp accordingly. It even hijacked the Bluetooth speaker. Spa music full blast.

Archie:

Oh, sounds relaxing.

Shelly:

Ah, you would think, but Ralph's already on edge from being fluffed into a cotton ball. So when that music starts up and the heat kicks on, he panics. Bolts for the back hallway.

Archie:

Trying to escape.

Shelly:

Yep. And I'm yelling"Ralph," but he's having none of it.

Archie:

Oh, he's had enough.

Shelly:

He nosed to open the staff door, darted through the connecting hallway and disappeared.

Archie:

Into the wild?

Shelly:

No. Thank goodness. Into the yoga studio next door. Oh dear. Which makes no real sense when you think about it, but the session was over and everyone was in savasana.

Archie:

Okay, so, so more relaxing than at the Play N Stay.

Shelly:

At the moment. Yeah, he makes a beeline for a vacant mat, flops down and just lays there. Like he invented savasana. One of the regulars says,"oh, I've seen him through the window. He's chill." And I'm like,"not today. He's not."

Archie:

Oh dear. Gives new mean into the term downward dog, huh? Yeah. You know, I, I hate to say it, but at least it was your dog. You traumatized and not somebody else's.

Shelly:

Oh, that's a good point. You know, there's something weird too, that man,

Archie:

yeah.

Shelly:

He never came back for the contraption. It's just sitting in the back, taking up space. Didn't give me a card or anything.

Archie:

You know, if it's still there, the next time I'm out, I'd like to take a look at it.

Shelly:

You got it.'cuz just don't climb in it.

Archie:

Oh. Oh. You don't have to tell me twice, but you know, I, I'm just realizing something.

Shelly:

What's that?

Archie:

Well, I think it was my turn to start off with the story this week.

Shelly:

Oh, no.

Archie:

Mm-hmm.

Shelly:

I got too excited about my poem.

Archie:

Yep.

Shelly:

I jumped ahead. My bad Arch.

Archie:

It's all right. I just wanted to point it out'cause I'm sure some astute listener will wonder if we did away with our system. We haven't. We're just, we're just doing things different today.

Shelly:

That's right. We like to keep everybody on their toes. Right. That's exactly what I was doing.

Archie:

There you go.

Shelly:

Thanks Arch for clearing up the confusion.

Archie:

Well, if there was any.

Shelly:

If there was any. Mm-hmm. Well, I guess we should get to your story. What do you have for us today?

Archie:

Well, all right. Mine's not about a smart machine, so to speak, but let me tell you about the time great uncle Larry tried to bring the future to the fish camp.

Shelly:

Is that really a place that needs to be dragged into the future?

Archie:

Not at all. No. No. But great Uncle Larry couldn't help himself.

Shelly:

Mm. He never could.

Archie:

That's right. Now, uh, all of y'all have heard about Uncle Larry before, I think, and if not, well, it doesn't matter much. The point is, Larry is maw-maw's middle brother now. Back when he was younger, he was the quiet one, but something shifted in the eighties. He got real into gadgets. If it plugged in, uh, spun around or beeped. Larry wanted it. So when one of our family's Fish Camp Weekends rolled around, Larry shows up with this box labeled"Fully Integrated Breakfast Experience."

Shelly:

Oh, please tell me it came with a handle and way too many warning labels.

Archie:

Oh, indeed it did. Indeed, it did. Now, uh, he had this thing all wrapped up nice and tight and, and cushioned with egg crates in the back of his pickup. You'd think it was the fragilest thing known to man the way he had that contraption in the bed of his truck.

Shelly:

Well, it's a wonder he just didn't put it in the passenger seat and belt it in.

Archie:

Well, it, it was too far, too big for that. Plus no seat belts.

Shelly:

Oh, was it pre seatbelt days?

Archie:

I don't know if it was the pre seatbelt days, but I do know that there weren't any in that truck. Mm-hmm. Also, not in that truck or in any other vehicle at the camp for that matter was a cassette player.

Shelly:

A cassette player. What on earth for?

Archie:

That's right. Yeah. Well, it came with an instructional cassette.

Shelly:

Well, that's handy if you have a player.

Archie:

Correct. Yeah. Uncle Larry could have also used them in writing.

Shelly:

Well, did he check the liner notes?

Archie:

I'm guessing that if he did, there wasn't anything useful there'cause Uncle Larry seemed to be winging it. Putting whatever cable here and connecting a, a part to another part over there. Any which way I. There didn't seem to be much of a method, not, not that I could discern anyway.

Shelly:

Sounds like trouble waiting to happen.

Archie:

Hmm, don't it? So anyway, this contraption was supposed to toast bread, brew coffee, and poach eggs all at once. Larry called it the future of breakfast. You know what maw-maw called it?

Shelly:

What?

Archie:

Unnecessary. Yeah. Yeah.

Shelly:

Well, it does sound like a dare disguised as convenience. Wait a minute. Did the fish camp even have electricity then?

Archie:

Oh, no, of course not. Didn't get wired until the nineties.

Shelly:

Well. So how,

Archie:

Oh, he brought a, he brought a, a portable generator to power it. Gas powered loud as a lawnmower with asthma. Oh, and definitely not eco-friendly. That's right. Set it up right there beside the cabin, underneath the kitchen window.

Shelly:

Well, there is nothing better than mixing the fresh lake air with generator exhaust fumes.

Archie:

Oh, yeah. Adds a little flavor to the food too.

Shelly:

That's really gross.

Archie:

Yeah, so we all go to bed with the promise that breakfast in the morning will be futuristic. Those are Larry's words, not ours.

Shelly:

Mm-hmm.

Archie:

So next morning around six, we hear it.(Noise), cl.

Shelly:

Oh no.

Archie:

Yeah, that thing's already running. Larry's got a clipboard. He's taking notes like he's conducting the lab experiment. He's got the generator going, cords running through the cabin window, and the smell of burnt toast just fill in the air.

Shelly:

That's not a good sign.

Archie:

Nope. Nope. And then the egg poacher section. God bless it. It makes this high pitched hiss and it lets out a pop loud enough to wake the fish.

Shelly:

Did it explode?

Archie:

Did it explode? Egg yolk on the curtains. Oh, egg whites on Larry. Parts just everywhere.

Shelly:

What about the coffee?

Archie:

The coffee? Well, it brewed. I'll give it that. But Larry didn't realize that the heating element was directly above the power switch. Now it burned the lettering clean off and it melted the switch to the on position.

Shelly:

Oh, no. So everything's burnt and scrambled and stuck to on.

Archie:

Exactly. You know, Larry's trying to rewire it with a flashlight in his mouth, a a lunchbox full of backup cables and a screwdriver he found in the bait bucket. And there's maw-maw just staring at him and she says."You do know we have a fire pit and the cast iron, right?"

Shelly:

Sounds like her. Yep. So did he ever get it working?

Archie:

Well, technically, yes. He managed to get one slice of toast, halfway golden for the whole thing tripped the generator again. Oh, that's when maw maw took his notebook, tossed it in the cooler and said"Breakfast is over. We're doing fish and biscuits." Yeah.

Shelly:

A culinary pivot.

Archie:

Exactly, and you know what? That meal was perfect. Mm, catfish on a skillet. Biscuits baked in the dutch oven and coffee boiled right in the pot. No switches, no motors. Just fire and folks.

Shelly:

Which is the miracle, really.

Archie:

Right. You know, Larry still swears he was this close to cracking the code, but every time we bring it up, maw-maw would just smile and say,"miracles are nice, but breakfast should never need a backup generator."

Shelly:

Was that the first time Larry brought some kind of contraption to the Fish Camp?

Archie:

Oh, oh, no, no, no. Not by a long shot. This was just the loudest one. He had a whole streak there in the early eighties. Every year it was something new.

Shelly:

Like what?

Archie:

Oh, well, let's see. Um, oh, there, there was a one time there was, uh, the solar powered mosquito zapper. Uhhuh.

Shelly:

Ah.

Archie:

Oh yeah. Only it never held a charge long enough to do any a zapping, so it instead it just lit up the picnic table like a bug disco. Yep. Oh, oh. And then there was, uh, there was the time he brought the, uh, voice activated fish caller.

Shelly:

Wait, what you mean? Like,

Archie:

like"here fishy, fishy?" Yeah. No, it played underwater recordings of what, uh, Larry claimed were mating calls of bass and blue gill. It sounded more like, uh, a, one of them dial up modems. Just garg and gravel.

Shelly:

Well, did it work?

Archie:

No, of course not. Unless you count attracting a very confused snapping turtle that took off one of the oars.

Shelly:

Oh, well now I kind of want one.

Archie:

Oh, and then there was the, uh, foot pedaled ice cream churn. Yeah. That one almost worked till pops got a little too into it and spun himself into the side of the cabin. Yeah.

Shelly:

Did the ice cream survive?

Archie:

Oh, thankfully, yeah. Yeah. It was chocolate mint. Strong on the mint, weak on the chocolate, but still cold and earned. Uh, that one might've been Larry's greatest success.

Shelly:

One day someone's gonna find all his inventions in a shed somewhere and assume he was building a time machine.

Archie:

Uh, wouldn't surprise me, just don't plug anything in without wearing some safety goggles.

Shelly:

You know?

Archie:

Hmm.

Shelly:

I only managed to make it out to that fish camp a couple of times, but that place was special.

Archie:

Yeah, it was. Mosquitoes get bad in the summer months, but, uh. You know, we go about four times a year or so, depending. Spend a long weekend. It wasn't much, but there was room for all of us and, and plenty of fishing spots.

Shelly:

Yeah. The only fish I ever caught was there. Really? Yep. Along with the only case to poison ivy.

Archie:

Oh, my dear. It does grow strong out there. You gotta be careful.

Shelly:

It was fall, remember? Mm-hmm. And the leaves were off the vines. I was off exploring and ran into a whole bunch hanging on a tree. I thought,"oh, these are perfect to twist into crowns." So I made, I don't know, something like five crowns. I was so proud of myself. I wore mine out of the woods and into camp, and I was planning on passing out my extras, but the dinner bell rang, so I put them down and forgot all about them, which is a very good thing, but I wore my crown all night. And next morning I woke up with a rash around my forehead, smeared down my cheeks, and all over my hands. I looked so ridiculous.

Archie:

Oh, yeah, I, I remember you looked more than ridiculous. I didn't know someone's hand could puff up like that, and that perfect stripe of rash across your forehead. Now that was something to behold. Goodness.

Shelly:

Everyone was so nice about it, but I can only imagine what a site I must have been when I walked into breakfast that morning.

Archie:

I remember your mama dropped her coffee and, and Aunt Evelyn let out the highest pitch squeak I'd ever heard. Like she was trying to hold something in, but a little bit escaped. Right. I, I'm pretty sure my jaw hit the floor. I know my pancakes fell outta my mouth back onto the plate. Oh no. Everyone was frozen except maw-maw, and she took one look at you and said,"well, I'm glad we remembered to bring the oatmeal this time, but it looks like we won't be eating it."

Shelly:

Oh man. And it started to spread all over. Oh. Oh yeah. I spent the rest of that trip soaking in oatmeal bath or slathered with calamine lotion.

Archie:

Yeah. They had to put your socks on your hands, like little mittens.

Shelly:

Partly to keep me from scratching myself to death, and partly to keep the calamine lotion soaked in.

Archie:

Listen, when you're all itch at calamine lotion, sure does seem like magic.

Shelly:

Better magic was that steroid shot I got once we got back into town.

Archie:

And I shouldn't have laughed too hard at you that following spring I got the worst case of chiggers I ever had.

Shelly:

Yeah, it serves you right. And those are harder to get rid of than poison ivy, right?

Archie:

They don't call it the seven year itch for no reason. Oh, here's the lesson, folks. If you're in Alabama, in the fall, in the woods, and you see a vine, don't think grapes. And if you're in the woods, in the springtime, do not picnic on a decaying tree stump, even if it's perfectly situated beside a creek.

Shelly:

Trust us. You don't need to learn these lessons the hard way. Mm-hmm. Take Archie's word for it.

Archie:

Oh, oh. And always, always check yourself for ticks.

Shelly:

Always check for ticks. That's good advice, Archie. Mm-hmm. Any more woodsy advice or should we move on?

Archie:

Uh, no. No. That's it for me from now.

Shelly:

All right then that brings us to the end of this week's tales.

Archie:

You've made it through exploding eggs, grooming gone wrong, and poison ivy royalty. Bless you.

Shelly:

We'd love to hear what y'all thought. Which story hit hardest? Was it Archie with Uncle Larry's Exploding Breakfast,

Archie:

or Shelly with Ralph's modern grooming experience?

Shelly:

Be sure to vote for your favorite tale over on our Instagram. And if you've got a story of your own that ties into the theme, maybe something involving a modern miracle that didn't quite deliver, we'd love to hear it.

Archie:

Or read it on a future episode. You never know.

Shelly:

That's right. You never know.

Archie:

Mm-hmm.

Shelly:

Well, should we do quote time?

Archie:

Uh, I'm ready if you are.

Shelly:

So folks, this is the section of the episode where we try and give you something to ponder by sharing a quote that is more or less theme related.

Archie:

That's right. Uh, some weeks we're better at it than others, but, uh, we try just the same.

Shelly:

Okay. So, mm-hmm. Mine for this week is Author C Clark, a brilliant English sci-fi writer, best known for 2001: a Space Odyssey. Mm-hmm. He said,"any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic." Yeah. And let me tell you that grooming station sure did feel like magic when it started grooming Ralph into oblivion.

Archie:

I, I definitely think it counts as magic if your dog ends up looking like a dandelion mid sneeze, but Clark's right when you don't understand how something works, it can feel like you've conjured up a miracle.

Shelly:

Or like the sorcerer's apprentice, a flood and a demented broomstick.

Archie:

Yeah, I don't know if that broomstick was demented as much as it was just doing what it was told. It just had no off switch, that's all. Or at least an off switch that the apprentice could get to. And, and, well, he's not the only one who's been in that place.

Shelly:

You and me both. It's wild, isn't it? All this tech promising to make life easier and sometimes, well, it just makes things weirder.

Archie:

Yep. Faster ain't always better. More buttons does not always mean more peace.

Shelly:

Remember, maw-maw used to say"if it takes longer to figure out how to use it than it takes to do the thing yourself, don't bother."

Archie:

Yeah. She also called remote controls,"lazy wands."

Shelly:

Oh yeah. I love that one. Yeah, but she's right, man. Some stuff feels like magic, but real magic, like the kind that last is knowing how to do a thing well with your own two hands. At least that's what I think.

Archie:

That's right. Or with help from folks who know what they're doing. That's the other kind of magic if you ask me: community and patience.

Shelly:

That and maybe a solid flashlight and a backup charger.

Archie:

Always prepared,

Shelly:

not paranoid.

Archie:

Hey,

Shelly:

you know what's wild? If you could have described a smartphone to maw-maw when she was a kid, or heck, even when she was an adult, she would think that you were making up a tall tale.

Archie:

And if you told Larry he'd be outwitted by an egg poacher, he'd think you were making it up too. Which brings me to my quote, it's from Carl Sagan. He was an astronomer and a science educator. If you ever watched"Cosmos," that was him. He said,"we live in a society exquisitely dependent on science and technology in which hardly anyone knows anything about science and technology."

Shelly:

Oh, I feel like that one stings a little.

Archie:

Hey, it is not meant to shame. It's just a thought to chew on. You know, we got all these tools and, and they're incredible, but when we lean on them without understanding, well, that's when breakfast blows up or your dog ends up in a yoga studio.

Shelly:

Yeah, if it turns a golden retriever into a flight risk, then you might not be using it right.

Archie:

Miracles are mighty tempting, but so is the simple skillet and some common sense.

Shelly:

Oh, and folks, we're gonna leave it right there with those sage words from Archie. Thanks for sitting with us a while.

Archie:

You're always welcome on the porch.

Shelly:

Bye bye. What's that? Miley?

Archie:

Hmm. Uh, oh,

Shelly:

Shoot. We forgot about the merch, Arch.

Archie:

That's all right. Uh, here, uh, where is it? Yeah. As I say on the blog, if we ever need a reminder, well, I know a t-shirt that'll do the trick. It's at www.notquiterightgoods.com where you can find the"electricity is the closest thing we have to magic" t-shirt and so much more, including the page for this podcast.

Shelly:

I don't know how we skip past that.

Archie:

It doesn't matter. We got it in.

Joe:

This has been a not quite right goods production. Starring Joe Laureiro is Archie and Holland Renton as Shelly. Written, directed and edited by Holland Renton. Music sourced via Descript stock library.

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