The Truth About Your Menstrual Cycle That No One Ever Taught You

In this episode of What They Didn't Tell You: From Core to Floor, Dr. Millie sits down with fertility awareness educator and founder of Reclaim Womanhood, Pessy Schwartz, for a powerful conversation about reconnecting with the wisdom of the female body.

Together, they explore what it truly means to reclaim womanhood beyond cultural expectations and gender roles. Pessy shares how understanding the menstrual cycle isn't just about fertility, it's about recognizing your body's natural rhythms, embracing feminine energy, and living in greater alignment with yourself.

You'll discover why your menstrual cycle is considered your "fifth vital sign," how each phase of the cycle carries its own purpose, and why symptoms may be messages rather than problems to silence. The conversation also dives into rest, productivity, burnout, nervous system healing, and the courage it takes to slow down in a world that constantly tells women to keep pushing forward.

Whether you're trying to conceive, navigating postpartum, coming off birth control, or simply seeking a deeper understanding of your body, this episode offers a fresh perspective that will change the way you think about hormones, femininity, and your overall well-being.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• What it really means to reclaim your womanhood
• Why your menstrual cycle is more than just your period
• The four phases of the menstrual cycle and their deeper meaning
• How to work with your hormones instead of fighting them
• The connection between feminine energy, rest, and healing
• Why slowing down can transform your health and relationships
• How your body communicates through your cycle
• Practical ways to become more connected to your body's natural rhythm

If you've ever felt disconnected from your body or frustrated by your hormones, this conversation will leave you feeling empowered, informed, and inspired to see your cycle in a completely new light.

Links:

Follow Millie:  @milliedpt
Join the Core to Floor community: https://millie-schweky.mykajabi.com/intimacy
Get out of pain guide: https://milliedpt.kit.com/ca03c82c95
Decrease Your Risk of Tearing Guide: https://milliedpt.ck.page/fec34a522f

Pessy Schwartz IG: @reclaimwomanhood
Pessy Schwartz Reclaim Womanhood: reclaimwomanhood.com/secrets-of-niddah

Code: MILLIE for $52 off

Transcript

Dr. Millie Schweky:: [00:00:00] Hey, guys, and welcome back to What They Didn't Tell You: From Core to Floor. It's your girl, Doctor Millie Schweky, your favorite pelvic floor physical therapist, and we are here today with Pessy Schwartz. I am so excited about this episode. I've known Pessy for a while. She actually was one of my first prepared pelvis students, and I can't wait to have you guys listen to the conversation that we had.

It's just really funny because the conversation we had when the episode was not recording, just, like, on the side, could have been a whole other episode in and of itself. So I feel like we could have spoken for hours. A little bit about Pessy. She is a certified fertility awareness educator, a life coach, and a kala teacher who helps women understand their cycles through a truly holistic lens.

She's an Orthodox woman and a mom of three who combines evidence-based fertility awareness with emotional and spiritual wellness, helping women reconnect with their bodies, whether they're trying to conceive, avoid pregnancy, navigate postpartum, or come off of birth control. She's passionate about [00:01:00] helping women with knowledge to better understand their hormones, fertility, and overall health.

I cannot wait to have you guys listen. Please sit tight and enjoy with an open mind. Hessi, welcome to the show. Hello. So good to be here. So good to reconnect after a while. So before we jump into the many topics that I would love to discuss with you, can you tell everybody who you are and what you do?

Because it's something m-may have never even heard of before.

Pessy Schwartz: Yeah. So who I am probably comes way before what I do, and one definitely led to the other in so many ways, but I'll start with what I do just because that's gonna be practically more clear. So I'm a fertility awareness educator. I teach women how to track their cycles for either trying to conceive naturally or trying to avoid pregnancy naturally, or understanding their hormonal health, because I think what we'll talk about a lot here is how the cycle is our fifth vital sign and so much more than just about fertility.[00:02:00] 

So that's a really big one with that as well. And then I'm also a kala teacher, because you can't separate the cycle from Tara Shamshaqa in the Jewish ri- We're primarily with Jewish women. I know other women might be listening to this as well, but that's where this came up a lot as a theme in my work.

So I got that training just to bring that perspective 'cause it's so powerful in its own way, and sheds a lot of the spiritual light I will get into more. I also bring a lot of different modalities like breathwork and coaching and different things that just help women come more into their essence as a woman.

The business, let's call it, is called Reclaim Womanhood, and that name evolved very naturally. But it's really this idea of let's just come back to ourselves, to our power, who we're meant to be as women, and that's, that's really what I ultimately wanna bring to the world more. Yeah.

Dr. Millie Schweky:: It's so interesting, like as I'm recording this season of this podcast, every single guest so far has been a shaliah, a messenger, to teach me exactly what I need to hear in the moment.

Everyone's gonna be able to learn from you. A lot [00:03:00] of what I've been going through as a human, being a mother, a wife, but also a practitioner, is what is it to be a woman? And we're gonna get there, but I think there's like a lot of foundation we need to maybe put down before this, okay? So I think the first thing that I really wanna ask you is what does reclaim womanhood actually mean to you?

Pessy Schwartz:: So I believe that we are whole at the core, that we already have everything we need inside of us, that being a woman is a tremendous power and gift. That's not how I saw it all the time. Like- I think I, I felt less than for a long time about being just like, I don't know, the way the world sometimes sees it, or the way sometimes culturally it's being put as second class in different ways, even though I think people do see the value of womanhood more, but we have a lot of mixed messages around it.

So I, I believe at the core, we all have something really precious around just having, uh, [00:04:00] the feminine side of things, which I know is also very vague and we'll get into what that means. And reclaiming for me meant coming back to that. It wasn't something new that I was creating. It was something that was always there, very deep, and this felt like a, a homecoming in so many ways.

I think that... I think homecoming is really the word I think of the most when it's like reclaim womanhood, come home to yourself as a woman.

Dr. Millie Schweky:: That is so gorgeous that we are whole and we're not looking for something that we're lacking. It's something that's in us that for one reason or another, real femininity has been lost on us for so many different reasons.

And even me, like I'm 30 and I have two kids. Thank God I'm like married and everything, and I literally like help women for a living. Like, I am now learning what femininity is. Calm, calmer, like all the more so, like this entire audience. Not that I'm higher than anyone, God forbid, but I'm just saying like, this is my life.

Hence, I thought femininity meant like, okay, like you make dinner, you know? Like, I thought it was like the [00:05:00] roles, right? I thought it was like the roles that you do, but it is not that. So can you tell us what femininity is? 'Cause I don't think most women know.

Pessy Schwartz:: I think the roles are just one example of how it goes by values.

Like sometimes you have a value of doing something for the sake of, you know, some- something that it brings to your life, even if you're not fully committed to it or, or see the, the alignment fully. Let's say in terms of... I'm trying to think of an example a stereotypical woman would do that wasn't-

Dr. Millie Schweky:: Like she's sitting home and reading Tehillim, and she's making dinner and doing laundry.

Like, is that what you mean? Like, just like the role part of it that's like not real.

Pessy Schwartz:: No, I'm talking more about expectations, like what a woman should be doing or what is Like let's say if w- from the gender roles, like I do believe in that on some level, but I also believe like, wait, where is it really coming from?

Are you doing it just to follow rules of what you should be doing, or are you really feeling that alignment of- Yes. Right ... this is what's actually coming through my [00:06:00] embodiment of being a woman.

Dr. Millie Schweky:: Right.

Pessy Schwartz:: For me, I have become so much more domesticized over the last few years. Like I don't particularly enjoy like homemaking or I haven't enjoyed it for a long time.

Now I've lately come more to an excitement with it because it is very aligned with like, oh, I'm making sourdough and this feels so good. This is my... Like, I made my own starter for the first time after Pesach this year. I can't tell you the enjoyment that I had from it. Like, oh my gosh, I see the fermentation happening and I used to always just borrow from other people, like, and just, you know, use that every week for challah.

And then now I have my own starter that I started from scratch, and then I saw it bubbling and fermenting and becoming something. And then, and that's what I use every week, and it's, it's an enjoyment. It's, yes, people might say, "Oh, making your own bread is so feminine," but is it really that, or is it like you're so aligned in doing something you enjoy, that you explore and that you're, you're nourishing and nurturing your family and you, you feel so good getting from that place?

Because one thing I can say about feminine giving and receiving The giving comes from an overflow and not from [00:07:00] deleting ourselves or sacrificing ourselves in the process. If you think about motherhood in the very literal sense, it's receiving and then expanding to something so much more and giving back something so much more just by essence of our beingness, right?

It's not necessarily a hustle or a doing kind of process. It's taking in the world, receiving life in all the basic ways, and letting that expand to so much more through us, through our being, through our cycle, like we'll talk about what that actually means. But through the daily process of just being with life and letting that bring us to the next level of being with that flow of yes, doing, and yes, having that a- aspect as well, but not in that hustle or force kind of way like, "I'm gonna make things happen."

That's a masculine way, and, and there's no... Masculine and feminine are both a balance that we need both in the world, but there's such an over imbalance of the masculine energy that while we're bringing back, when we're, when we're saying we claim our womanhood, we're really reclaiming balance because we're bringing back something that's been very much sidelined.

And even as women maybe have become more, let's say, empowered with the feminist movement or [00:08:00] whatever, the feminine aspect has not been, has always still been squashed, not reclaimed even with all that. Like, it was just women acting like men or being in our masculine. So the feminine itself is what we're bringing back, and it's really that balance of, yes, we're holding the masculine and honoring and appreciating that just as much.

But also, wait, like, this is equally valuable, and we need to bring that back maybe even more to balance things out.

Dr. Millie Schweky:: Yeah, I think I really love what you're saying, like the feminine movement, which is so much- Feminist movement. The fe- the fem- There's a feminine movement. The feminist movement, which back in the day I was, like, blindly subscribing to, like, yeah, of course, like, women should work as much as men.

Pessy Schwartz:: And by the way, even if there are some listeners maybe thinking that they're not, you know, that wasn't something that they subscribed to, the whole world was affected by it. As culturally secluded as you might have been, like, our mothers lived through that, and that's how they passed through their femininity to us.

So it's- For sure ... part of, for everyone, for sure.

Dr. Millie Schweky:: But it's like we lost the point. I think we lost the plot with that movement. Yeah. [00:09:00] It's not to say women shouldn't work. Obviously, I believe women should work. I, I love to work. Yeah. I love my work. I think it's great. I think it's beautiful. But it's, are you in alignment with who you are and what your actual role is?

I don't mean role by, like, job day to day. And I wanna give you an example, and maybe we can go off of this. Long story short, I, I smashed my car one time, and I didn't wanna go to the mosach, like, to the, the... How do you say it in English? The-- I didn't wanna go to the mechanic guy. Like, not the mechanic, but the guy that fixes the door- Okay

um, to, like, fix my, my car. And I was like, "Yeah, like, it's a man's job to go to the mosach. Like, I don't, I don't wanna go." Um, I'm like, "Who made that up that it's a man's job? Like, who, who made that up?" Like, I made that up. And I realized that, like, my husband is, like, in shul in the morning, and then he goes to learn, and then he goes to work, and then he goes to learn, and then he, like, does his whole day.

And it's like, okay, the most feminine thing I can do is actually go to the mosach [00:10:00] and fix the car. Like, that's the most feminine thing I could do 'cause I'm my husband's ezer kenegdo. I'm his helper. And if I'm allowing him to do his job and his world... So, like, we get lost in the roles.

Pessy Schwartz:: Yeah. 'Cause if we Sure.

men.

Dr. Millie Schweky:: Yeah. So it's like, what is it?

Pessy Schwartz:: Before, can I explain what the feminine is? I think that's the hardest question to answer because it's not one thing, and it's not something that we can really put so clearly into words. It's a, it's a way of being. It's, it's an energy, which I know- It's very vague. It's the vaguest world, word possible.

Like, what do you mean it's an energy? Like, just tell me what it is. And I think it's so situational, so individual, so dependent on the relationship, the dynamics of the balance of masculine and feminine within your home, within the world, within life in general, within yourself. We, we have a balance of masculine and feminine as ourselves as well, and sometimes we need one over the other and, and a balance of both.

It's, it's so energetic. That's why it's hard to explain, but also so very real. Really, let's just rip away those labels because it's not about a job or a role or, or a specific action. You can do the same, like... I gave this example once. Let's say [00:11:00] washing dishes. You can wash dishes. Your husband can wash the dishes.

You can be doing it in a very feminine way. Your husband can be doing it in a very masculine way. It's not about the dishes. It's about- Right ... how it's being done, how it's being given and received. It's, it's so much more than that.

Dr. Millie Schweky:: Wow. Yeah, that's so true. So a lot of what you do is educate about the cycle, and I think that'll help us get deeper into what it is to be a woman.

Yeah. So I remember having a conversation with you a few years ago where I told you I read this book. I won't say what it's called, but I read this book about the period and the cycle and how, like, during this part of your cycle you feel more upbeat, and this part of your cycle your libido goes up, and then you go more inward and this and that.

And you were like, "Okay, but that's, like, so masculine," you told me. Like, to categorize your- Tell you what you should feel at any given moment, and this is literally So I wanna ask you to maybe take us through the menstrual cycle, and I understand that there's more flow to it and that it's not so structured.

But would you be able to, like, [00:12:00] just walk us through the phases and what they mean on a more embodied level?

Pessy Schwartz:: Yeah. So as I'm gonna start saying this, I want you to flow with it. Like, I want you to feel the movement more than anything because, like you said, we can, we can divide it into boxes of this phase, this is what it is, this is the name.

But it's not those straight lines Linear is a very masculine way of moving with the world. Cyclical is a feminine way of moving with the world, and the cyclical rhythm is that we move in cycles. There's no clear point where this part of a circle begins and this part, the next part of the circle ends.

It's very fluid, but you feel that movement, you feel that shift, and you only start feeling those movements and feeling that shift when you tune into your own experience. Nobody can tell you what you should be experiencing. And I think this is the most important thing about any- everything, 'cause yes, everyone wants to know what is a healthy cycle?

What should my cycle be doing? Why do I have 60-day cycles? Why am I not ovulating on a correct schedule? Right, and I'm putting correct in quotes. There's the whole, um, and there's truth to that, right? 'Cause there is, like, this ideal... I don't even wanna say ideal, but, like, what can we say? Like, a [00:13:00] range that, that shows us some kind of balance.

Okay, you have a cycle that's between, let's say, 26 to 33 days. Like, just, these are just random number. I mean, it's average numbers, you know, if it's a day off, a day more, whatever, just in that range, then that is showing a certain kind of balance in your life. Like, okay, there's this rhythm. It's beating, it's going month to month, following the moon.

Like, you know, just like the moon has a monthly cycle, woman has a monthly cycle. It's, you know, regular, is what we call it. But that, that totally is not the point when it's, let's say something is different for you. It's not, the approach is not, "Wait, I'm broken, something is wrong with me." It's almost like a curiosity of, wait, what is asking me to come into more alignment?

What is this imbalance or this, like, maybe I'm living a life that's not true to me. Maybe I'm, um, you know, pushing forward on something that's actually not working for me. Maybe I, I, I have certain boundaries that need to be put in place in some areas of my life. Whatever it is, I'm just giving examples of things that are not working at a core level, and the cycle is the most sensitive to that, 'cause the cycle is our fifth [00:14:00] vital sign.

The cycle will reflect. It's a reflector, like the moon. It will reflect what is actually up in our life. And I think we also miss the point when we come to it from a purely symptomatic approach of let's treat the symptom. And of course, we should treat the symptom. Of course, you shouldn't be in pain, and you shouldn't have to suffer.

And if there's a way to have, like, a Band-Aid, like, put a Band-Aid when you're bleeding. But still, sometimes there's Very often there are more things to look at that we totally skip and miss the point of, and it will just show up differently until we hear the message. So there's... Okay, let's, let's see what a cycle is.

'Cause first have that approach of, okay, we're all whole, we all have this internal visual rhythm, and I think while we try to standardize it, this is what it needs to be for everyone, we miss the point of what our cycle is telling us individually. So the cycle is a rhythm beating inside of you that moves you through different seasons, different phases.

So the, the seasons of the year are a very good example of, of understanding this flow, right? We flow through fall, winter, spring, summer, and here you can really understand, like, I mean, I don't know how it is in Israel, like if [00:15:00] you feel this strongly, but here in New York we were, we had just the last few weeks, like some days were freezing cold, some days were boiling hot.

It's like, are we in spring? Are we in summer? Are we in winter? Like what is going on here? And that is actually a very, a very good reflection on how we flow through the cycle. It's not a clear defining date. This is, you know, we have the winter solstice, the summer solstice, like this is when the season officially starts, so this is where the peak officially is.

But we also have that fluidness to it. What are you actually experiencing? What are you actually feeling? Where are you actually flowing with this? But just understand the, the different, the different parts to it. Like, yeah, there are spaces in the cycle where you will feel more of a, a strong season or phase.

So starting with the period, with menstruation, is our inner winter, and the way we can understand it is this inward cold, this way of, you know, like it's, it's cold or like we, we would usually want more warming foods or cozy like, you know, imagine wrapping yourself in a blanket in front of a fireplace.

Like that's the vibe like that I at least get, and again, see what this brings up for you, right? So but that's like the, the inner winter we call it, of like a going [00:16:00] inward or seeds being planted beneath the surface, but we don't see the growth yet. So it's that same idea. There are things happening, like the, the follicles are starting to grow in our ovaries and it's preparing for the next cycle.

But right now it's just that, that release, almost like that death that we're feeling, and winter very much is also reflecting that. It's like a death of foulness, but really there's growth happening.

Dr. Millie Schweky:: Can I just tell you, like, when I get my period, stuff bubbles up every month, like things that I need to take care of.

Like I don't like to say need. Things that I'm not taking care of that it would be beneficial for me to take care of They come to the surface when I'm getting my period, and like, I started to reframe, like, that mood swing before the period as, like, what's actually going on? Like, this is not just your hormones trying to torture you.

It's actually your body trying to give you a message that you are probably ignoring for some amount of time, and this is, like, a really good time to introspect on it.

Pessy Schwartz:: So Millie, that's [00:17:00] exactly how I got into this. I was like, "I don't wanna be a victim to my hormones anymore. Like, there's gotta be something to this.

I have to look at it differently just because I chose that for myself." Like, I can keep living my whole life, "Hormones are terrible. What does it want from me? It's just out to get me. It just wants to ruin my life." And like, "Okay, we just have to put up with it 'cause this is what it is to be a woman," and it's kind of like this, this resigned feeling.

Like, that's what I had for a long time around it, and it was resentment around it, um, because yeah, like really, what does it want from us? And then, and then, yeah, so I'm actually gonna go backward a little. We started with the period, but really we should start with the premenstrual phase. It's kind of like this Jewish concept of starting the day with the evening before.

Dr. Millie Schweky:: Yeah. Yeah. '

Pessy Schwartz:: Cause it does, it does start before. Like, it's before the beginning. Like, really just- What is it he built in our relationship? It's what, what, what's the cycle before actually bringing together as you're moving into the next cycle, and what are you bringing into the next cycle? So the premenstrual phase is where everything comes up.

It's like, whoa, the intensity of it. Um, yeah, like also fall, right? So the inner, the inner fall, the inner autumn is the [00:18:00] premenstrual phase. We're going backward, and that's the... That's when all the trees are bare, and the leaves are shedding, and we're literally, like, letting our defenses down. We feel more vulnerable.

We feel more exposed, and it makes so much sense to feel that sensitivity or that rawness 'cause it's exactly what's going on. Um, and it's also where we're being invited to look at things a little more deeply, like what's coming up, and not necessarily we have to act on it right away. Like, it's fine to let things sit.

I think that's something that we can only become more comfortable with. Yeah, just breathe and be with it.

Dr. Millie Schweky:: Yes, that you don't have to tackle it. That's a huge lesson. Whoa. That's a huge lesson.

Pessy Schwartz:: It's hard. Then, then that's, that's what I mean by being with something because guess what happens when the cycle continues moving, and we go to the inner winter, and we're in our period, and we're releasing all that?

Like, I remember when I was in that stage where I hated the premenstrual phase. There was so much going on. I literally felt like the world was crashing and just- And everything is wrong, and, and it just... You know what's going on. And then I'll get my period a week later. So I'm not crazy after all. Like, this is just my period.

So [00:19:00] it's kind of a very mixed feeling. It was a relief, and it was also, like, really annoying, but there was that sense of relief. Like, yes, there is that release that's happening. There's all that, like, sort of gathering up and sort of tensing up and a, okay, there's that release happening. So the, the period itself does move things in that, like, without us having to ne-necessarily act on something right away, just that awareness and bringing it into our menstrual phase, we, we come into a more deeper state.

It's, it's almost like, it's almost like when we're, when we go to sleep at night, things are happening in our body without us necessarily needing to be aware of it or being in that process, but we're, we're slowed down. We're, we're, you know, just asleep. And so then menstruation is a time to rest and just, like, lay low a little bit, and our body is doing so many incredible things, not just physically.

Physically, it is doing incredible things, literally resetting everything to a new cycle. But also emotionally and energetically, it's releasing. It's making space for the new. You can release what no longer serves you. And, and yes, I feel like being intentional with it is very powerful, even though it's happening without our awareness.

But when we choose to live intentionally with it, I think that's, that's what [00:20:00] Taharot invites us to do. There's so much heaviness around that, that counting the days, knowing where we are in the cycle. It's actually bringing intention to a process that's already there and already so powerful. But we're, we're choosing to, to align with it.

We're choosing to live with it. We're choosing to grow with it and receive what it's really offering. I think receiving is also very feminine, also very intentional. It's not, it's not this passive taking that people think of it to be. It's, it's conscious receiving. Like, I receive this moment and I receive everything it offers me.

I think that's a very cyclical power as well.

Dr. Millie Schweky:: Wow, I love what you just said, that receiving is not passive. It's very intentional.

Pessy Schwartz:: Yeah.

Dr. Millie Schweky:: I, I have so much to learn from you. Wow. Like, that's also boom, crazy level. Yeah. We're packing bombs here. Like, we don't just... Yeah. Wow. Okay. I think, like, okay, I wanna ask you about that, but I also wanna kinda, like, move through the cycle.

So maybe I circle back about receiving 'cause that is beautiful. Mm-hmm. Okay, so I have-

Pessy Schwartz:: For coming through this menst- [00:21:00] yeah, coming through this menstrual, like, cleansing, I would even call it, 'cause something is really cleansing in your body at a deeper level

Dr. Millie Schweky:: I think most women could relate that they feel lighter emotionally- Yeah

when it's over. 'Cause even if you're not, like, intentionally being in, like, intentional about your cycle and what it's bringing up and what do I have to work through, like, subconsciously you are receiving, maybe passively receiving what it is that the cycle has to offer you, but you can just take it to the next level when you intentionally receive it.

Pessy Schwartz:: Yeah.

Dr. Millie Schweky:: So I think everyone could relate to that, like, "Oh, I feel lighter now," and maybe you just didn't know why.

Pessy Schwartz:: And I think this is the first time I'm mentioning it publicly anywhere. I mean, I don't know when this is being released, but I didn't really share this yet. Um, I have a new word for fertility awareness method.

I don't think fertility awareness really says what it is, what it's doing. We're jumping all the way in. Um, or talk about what that means. But, um, and I trademarked this 'cause I feel like this is such a powerful word that is going to bring, like, it's going to just... It really says so much more, [00:22:00] and conscious cycles is what it is.

Dr. Millie Schweky:: Mm.

Pessy Schwartz:: Right? 'Cause, 'cause this, like you said, the cycles are happening, but the fertility awareness method is also a very good example that we're being very conscious of it. We're, we're checking physical signs in our body of where we are in our cycle, where we know... Like, ask someone who's tracking their cycle fertility awareness, they'll tell you which day in the cycle they are.

Like, they know that 'cause they're consciously in tune with it. So I think that says a lot more than, "Oh, I'm just tracking my cycle for fertility or for birth control." It's missing the whole point. It's like that is an outcome that you get from being consciously aligned, but it's so

Dr. Millie Schweky:: surface- Definitely embodiment.

The conscious part is like you are it, it is you. Yeah. Yes, exactly. That's stunning. Like- Like, like higher levels of consciousness is what's bring- gonna bring the goo out, is what it's bringing you now.

Pessy Schwartz:: Yeah, exactly.

Dr. Millie Schweky:: That's exactly what it is. Wow. Okay. So then, okay, so male follicular.

Pessy Schwartz:: Right. So you're coming out of that, uh, cleansing phase of menstruation, and it...

There could be some [00:23:00] clarity that comes out of it. Uh, you know, everyone will have a different experience around this, but sometimes in the, in the menstrual phase, I feel so more aware of things, and things just start clicking and making sense in different ways. And then I come out of the follicular pha- into the follicular phase, which is the phase after your period until ovulation, and it's like, "Hey, I know how to move forward."

Like, I didn't have to stress about this so much. If something came up in the premenstrual phase, something needed to be addressed, I let it settle with my, with my bleed, which is a very powerful physical process that's already moving things through, and then, "Oh, here's what I need to do." So there is action, and the follicular phase is where the action is very embodied 'cause there's the rising energy.

We feel more outward, more outgoing, more like, "Yeah, we're here to do stuff and conquer the world," right? There is that moving towards ovulation, and it's inner spring, inner summer. Think about the time of the year where we, we feel more motivated. We feel more like, yeah, we can go and do stuff. So that's what this phase really is about.

It's the time for action. It's the time for trying something new, you know, going on an adventure, taking a risk, whatever it might mean for you. This is [00:24:00] the time in the month that very much supports that. And then it's moving towards ovulation, which is the height, the inner summer. It's where everything sort of comes to its culmination, to its climax of, yeah,

Dr. Millie Schweky:: the, the,

Pessy Schwartz:: the follicle is growing and, and then getting ready to release the egg, and when ovulation, it releases the egg, and that's where the full, this full embodied potential is really there for you, right?

It reflects physically as the ability to get pregnant, the ability to conceive, but there is so much you can conceive in your life. There's so much you can birth in your life. It doesn't only have to be about getting pregnant in the, in the physical sense. There's, there's so much of this energy held within our ovulation, in the inner summer, and this, like, full brightness of the sun shining at the highest point in the sky and just the full possibility of life.

And by life, it's like the life you're living, like consciously living and birthing and being with the life you're living versus this topic only being about creating new life, and I think that new life is very much an expansion of the life that already exists. It's like being s- like your cup being so full that it overflows.

Being so present and intentional with [00:25:00] our lives that there's space to expand. There's place to, to have more, to be more, and that's, that's really how I see this whole topic of fertility as well. And even in the physical sense, there's so many... So much of the work that I do with fertility clients is a lot about this, is about the life they're already living and what's, what's filling them up and how their cycle is, is really expressing that for them and then coming to that place of overflowing from there.

Dr. Millie Schweky:: That was gorgeous. Each, each phase of the cycle is really inviting us to do something else. Like, like, so like just to like do a little summary, pre-menstrual invitation is kind of like see what's bubbling up, right? Then on your period, it's supposed to like moving through it and like shedding it.

Pessy Schwartz:: And be with it, letting it be, letting it

Dr. Millie Schweky:: breathe.

In follicular, like being inventory, like- Yeah ... how would you summarize that?

Pessy Schwartz:: Yeah, taking action, uh, 'cause that's such my... But we were... 'Cause people think, oh, the seven is just about being and slowing down. It is a part of that, but it's more an aligned action. It's more an action that actually is being [00:26:00] propelled from, from inward versus like we're forcing something to happen.

Dr. Millie Schweky:: And then ovulation is about expansion.

Pessy Schwartz:: Expansion, fullest expression of yourself, letting yourself be all of who you are. I mean, so many of us, especially as women, we hold back, um, in different ways. Like, I don't know, different messages we get about like limiting ourselves or

Dr. Millie Schweky:: Yeah. And it's like also there's flow and overlap between all these.

Like, we're not putting the phases in boxes and saying like, "Okay, um, I've bleeding today. It's time to expand." Like, it's not like that.

Pessy Schwartz:: Right. And it's also remember, it's also where we are in life. Our diff- our cycles can also reflect different seasons in life. And, uh, if you're in a season that's very constricting right now or there's like something very stressful happening that you can't control, your cycles might be different than the place where you might be in a season of expansion.

Oh my gosh, everything is working and going my way. And it-- we just move through different seasons in general also that I think we, we can lose sight of that. It's not-- I think a, a, a something that I see a lot when the cycle conversation is [00:27:00] it becomes very focused on just the cycle. And really what I want this to be is a perspective that can be ignored.

Like, don't push away the cyclical perspective, but see it in conjunction with all the other cycles we move through in life, the daily cycle, the yearly cycle, the life cycle, uh, different stages, different seasons, motherhood, perimenopause, wherever you are, that should inform and, and give like a really, really more extended perspective of what's going on.

Dr. Millie Schweky:: I love cycles. I always think about like in Judaism how, you know, every year like we read the, the weekly parashah, the, the Torah portion for the week, and you're, you're reading it at a higher point on the cycle. Like it's a spiral going up, and you're reading it as the same week of the year last year, but now you're this like completely new version of yourself, and you're reading it like I always picture like this spiral staircase, and I'm like looking down to like last year me.

And when I read it, I'm like, "Oh, I didn't catch this. I didn't catch that." Right. Like, we're always spiraling up, and I, I just think it's [00:28:00] really cool that we have that in the month. Like, you can go back to like day one of the cycle, Peseeh let's say, and you go back a month ago, and you're like, "Oh, remember I was going through that?

But like now I have all this clarity from like everything I did in the cycle, and now like I'm here." I think for most of us, for most of our lives, it does fly over our heads because whatever, like it's been lost. Like the truth is that the art's been lost, but I think our generation right now is like able to maybe like instill this in ourselves so that we can reclaim our womanhood and, and pass it on to the next.

Wow, thank you for, for sharing all of this, Rivka Leela.

Pessy Schwartz:: Right. Well, you could always go deeper and deeper with this. There's always more to learn.

Dr. Millie Schweky:: Okay, so one of the ma- things I was really excited to ask you about is something that I actually went through, um, and I'm still kinda working on it. I think I got really good at it, is I'm actually like what I consider to be a recovered workaholic.

I probably say this on my show like in every episode, but I have recovered, and I found work-life [00:29:00] balance, and I'm a better mom and a better wife because of it. But why? Why is it, and I see this with all my patients, that women struggle so much with slowing down or resting in certain phases? And sometimes the signs are obvious, like you're literally getting sick, like you have a sore throat, like, you know?

Or you feel run down, and you can't even stand up. Like, why can't we just listen and slow down? Like, what is this?

Pessy Schwartz:: So it's really hard to listen to ourselves when the whole world is giving us a different message. It's that this work is... It takes a lot of courage because the world is set up in a predominantly masculine rhythm, whether it's the workforce, whether it's anything really.

It's like when, when we are in our ovulation or pr- or our follicular phase, like that's, let's call it the masculine side of our cycle, even though it is feminine in a different way, but that's what's praised. Like, "That's how you should be every day, then we're okay with you, then you can be productive." But what you don't realize is that our greatest productivity, also putting it in quotes 'cause I don't love [00:30:00] that word, creativity is when we flow with the cycle.

'Cause when we have... I mean, Hashem created the world that way, not 'cause He needed to rest, but He wanted to tell us creation is about rest. Like it's n-not one or the other. You can't separate it And women are the queens of creation. I mean, we were given that gift to create, and, and we embody the cyclical rhythm of, yes, we have the setting back and the returning, and the slowing down, and the coming back even more.

I think that's, uh, that's, is a real... There are some countries that have implemented some kind of different workforce kind of mentality, where either, either they do, like, a four-week work week, and employees are much more productive 'cause they have more downtime, or they've done, like, a honoring the woman's menstrual cycle.

Like, they can take leave around the time of their period, and they've been a lot more productive as well. Like, that's fascinating to see that happen in some parts of the world. But overall, we're-- we have to, we have to just trust ourselves, which is the hardest thing to do when all the messages around us is...

You look at the, at the period product ads, it's like, "Wear this tampon and you can [00:31:00] play tennis and, and pretend nothing's going on," right? It's, it's this m- message of just push through it. Don't, don't let yourself be dragged down by it, when it's really just inviting us into this, into this retreat to come back refreshed.

Dr. Millie Schweky:: We are human beings. We're not human doings, and it's very hard to just be in this world. You need so much intention to, to be. Because, uh, what is it? Someone once told me, and I th- it did resonate. She said, "What would happen if you slowed down? What would happen if you stopped?" And it's like, oh, I actually-- like, we came to the conclusion, like, I wouldn't feel safe in my body.

Mm. Like, I wouldn't feel safe. Yeah. Like, this need to produce, produce, produce. It's like output. It's like output dependent, 'cause we think that's who we are. Like, we are who, what we do, like, what we accomplish, like,

Pessy Schwartz:: what we get to s- to say about ourselves or, or make or create, whatever. So what you were saying before about the [00:32:00] workaholic thing, it's, it's a very real thing to put ourselves into something that we enjoy or that takes our mind off things, or it just gives us the focus other than, "Wait, if I'm just still and just with myself, like, that's scary.

I don't wanna be with that. Like, let me just get away from that." And I think that is a scary part of the cycle and what menstruation is asking us, 'cause it is the theme of menstruation. It is come back to yourself. It is be with yourself. And that's scary. It is. It's scary to face ourselves sometimes. And, and it especially there's a lot of stuff to come up, like this is where it will come up.

There's grief to process. There's, um, like I said before, if things are not working in your life or need to be realigned, but that's too scary to contemplate as well. It's like, let me just, you know, keep ignoring it or not looking at that because it's easier to just keep going this way. Re-rearranging things is just gonna be too painful.

So again, the cycle is always going to ask you to come back to your truest alignment, to your core, to who you're meant to be. There are a billion [00:33:00] ways to get away from that, like our world has a ton of options to do that. So the...

Dr. Millie Schweky:: Yeah, no, yeah, go ahead.

Pessy Schwartz:: Yeah, and this, this work of coming into our cycle, it's coming into our body, is exactly the opposite of being with ourselves.

It's very normal for it not to feel safe in the beginning, and the idea is to come back to that. When I come-- There's a process of, okay, I'm training my body to be safe with this. So at the beginning, I know this is uncomfortable, this is unusual, like I'm not used to this. And again, our nervous system works very much with what's familiar, not with necessarily with what's best, but with what's familiar.

So it can feel safer to put ourselves in distraction in different ways. Like addiction is a, is a nervous system response that feels safer but is destructive because it is more painful to just be with ourselves and what's coming up.

Dr. Millie Schweky:: So kind of like turning it to the other side now, if someone's like really like a working mom, and they have kids, and they're raising them, and they really wanna come into alignment with their cycle, but they feel like they're so busy, and they just like can't do it.

Like what, what can we start

Pessy Schwartz:: doing? One percent. [00:34:00] One percent. You don't have to do anything all the way. If you just give yourself One hour or a half hour on the first day of your bleed. Like, this is a half hour that I'll be present with myself, with my period, with my body, with, with what I need. Maybe I wanna take a bath, maybe I wanna take a nap, or something small.

Not even making big plans or anything big, but, like, I'm acknowledging this. I'm being present with it in a small way. Very small things is where we start.

Dr. Millie Schweky:: Love that. I love that. I, I, I, I really believe slowing down has changed my life, and just being intentional about what our bodies are telling us and, like, really listening to it is an art.

Also, I'll

Pessy Schwartz:: tell you... Yeah, and also, I'll tell you, Fenny, like, in the beginning, it was the hardest thing to accept. I don't have to earn rest because I grew up always, like, my parents would get nervous if we would just sit around and do nothing. Like, "Don't you have something to do? I can give you something to do."

Like, it was just a way of just being in the world, like not being, but whatever. It was [00:35:00] like this, this underlying message of like, no, it's n- it's not okay to, um, just take time and not be busy with something. It, it's okay if you, like, worked hard and now you deserve a break. Like, it's, it's totally understandable to come home after a day's work and just relax on the couch for a little bit 'cause now you earned it, but, like, the message was always that you have to earn your rest, that how are you actually worthy of...

Yeah, so it was, "You deserve this because you are." Exactly. We

Dr. Millie Schweky:: all deserve, like, even just

Pessy Schwartz:: to rest. So it took a long time for me to rewire that for myself, to realize, hey, like, I don't have to justify the need to rest right now. My body just needs it. And, and yeah, of course, listen, life is life, and things will demand our attention, and things will, uh, will happen.

It will sometimes be practical, sometimes not. Sometimes we need to prioritize it more. Sometimes it will flow more naturally, but it's... the first thing was really acknowledging, yeah, like, what we deserve just for being human and just for having these needs. Exactly.

Dr. Millie Schweky:: Wow. So if you could give every woman a message about their cycle, what would you just want them to walk away [00:36:00] with?

Pessy Schwartz:: That their, their body is working for them, not against them. Your cycle wants to be your friend, and sometimes it can take some you know, building a relationship to get there 'cause not often do we see it that way. But once we do kind of, once we do recognize how our body's our ally, our cycle is our ally, and how it's here to work with us, we start seeing so many things differently.

We start living life differently because your body is, is always with you. Like, it's always there. And, and here's another thing I'll say about the cycle specifically, the presence part of it, how the cycle is with you, and, and here's an interesting perspective on symptoms that I've experienced when I realized I was going through a very, uh, I had a very painful period, and this was after I'd already like, you know, come sit on my cycle, come into more balance, come into more alignment, and my cycles were pain-free.

My periods were pain-free, which was not something I'd experienced until then. My PMS was pretty much, I mean, I'm not saying there was no intensity or tension. I think that's a normal thing to feel before [00:37:00] your period 'cause you are feeling the tension build up, getting ready to release. But there wasn't that Like literally like a world crashing kind of feeling.

It was more like I can be present with it, I can be with what's coming up. And then I had this one cycle where crazy PMS and very painful period, and I realized like, you know, my life is that way right now. Like that, that was a, a stage I was going through then. It's like, hey, my cycle is holding it with me.

Like it felt so comforting. And I know it's, it's... I was only seeing it this way because of the work I was doing, but it actually turned an annoying symptom that could have really derailed me into something that felt very supp- And I don't remember exactly what happened then, if maybe the, maybe the pain went away.

I don't remember if it got better or not, but I just remember that like, "Im l'nechevei tera," like I'm here with you in it. And I feel like the cycle is really very much a part of that in us. Like, it's almost like Hashem cycling through us, giving life through us. Like it's, again, the cycle is a source of life, and Hashem is a source of life, and it's coming through in our body, like inside of us.

And if it's [00:38:00] supported from within, it's like the most powerful thing ever.

Dr. Millie Schweky:: I am so happy that everyone is gonna get to learn from you. This is such needed work. If anyone wants to learn from you, where could they find you? Hmm. Okay, so somebody wants to work with you and find you, how can they do so?

Pessy Schwartz:: Okay, so first just check out what I have on my Instagram page, @reclaimwomanhood.

I'm starting to become more active there, and there's a lot that you can look back on in the past as well. My website is reclaimwomanhood.com. You mentioned before about the Parsha, and I forgot to ask you if you ever read my Parsha points.

Dr. Millie Schweky:: I do. I

Pessy Schwartz:: do. Done. And I do have, a- and I do really believe this as well, first of all, the Torah has all this, all, all of these concepts, and it's just the angle that we look at it from.

Like, you can read the Torah from a masculine perspective, and it's all true and amazing, and you can read the Torah from a feminine perspective, and it's all equally true and amazing. And, um, and that's what I bring to the Parsha points. I, I bring the feminine perspective of that weekly Parsha, and just all these lessons of the cycle and the embodiment and what it's, what, what, what I see when I read the Parsha, like it's all just there staring at me.[00:39:00] 

So I share that in my email. So you can sign up to my email list on my website as well. And yeah, those are, those are the main ways you can learn from me in the meantime. And then I offer courses around fertility awareness, and I call the course Embody because it's not just about what you know, it's about how you're actually bringing this into your body in a real day-to-day way.

And, uh, I offer a Secrets of Middah immersion in the summer. The point of that is because Taharat Hamishpacha is such a beautiful avenue into this cyclical awareness of life, but it also be- is so charged with so many other messages you might have been getting. So my intention there is to, again, reclaim the real meaning and come home to an actual experience that supports you.

So that's what we do in the summer as well. And always look out. There's more stuff coming.

Dr. Millie Schweky:: Wow. You have so many offerings. Whoever takes one with you is in for a nice treat for themselves. Hesky, thank you so much for your time. This was fantastic. Thank [00:40:00] you.