Episode 2 - Finding Voice, My Leadership Story

Before I ask others to share their truth, it felt only fair to share mine.

In this episode, I open up about the real journey behind my work—what shaped me as a leader, the moments that tested me, and how I came to lead with deeper purpose and clarity.

You’ll hear stories of challenge, change, and quiet breakthroughs—from child psychiatry to boardrooms, from reinvention to writing a bestselling book.

This isn’t a tale of perfect progression—it’s about navigating self-doubt, holding onto your values, and learning to lead with courage and care.

If you’ve ever felt like an outsider, questioned your confidence, or needed to find your voice again—this episode is for you.

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✨ Produced by Mary Gregory Leadership Coaching

Transcript

 Welcome to episode two of the She Leads Collective Podcast, and today we'll be focusing on my leadership story. When I ask my guests to share their stories, it seems only fair that I do the same. So in this episode, I will be talking all about me, and if I'm honest, recording a whole episode about myself does not sit comfortably.

I much prefer being the one asking the questions, but if I'm inviting others to share their stories with honesty, I felt I definitely had to do the same, and hopefully in doing so, it'll help you understand why this podcast came about and all about the work I've dedicated my life to. I. And because I've been around for a while and my story is on the long side, I thought it best to divide it into three acts.

Act one, a sense that there's got to be more to life than this. I grew up in the northeast of England, a fabulous place of sandy beaches, castles, coal mines, warm and resilient people. My earliest role model was my mum, hugely capable, the only girl among four brothers. She longed to be a teacher, but was steered into secretarial college while her brothers went to university that stayed with me.

The quiet disappointment of her potential being de redirected. As a child, I was curious, full of questions and often wondered, is this it? Surely there's got to be more to life than this training as an occupational therapist, that curiosity and question drew me towards specializing in child and family psychiatry.

I was fascinated by human beings and what made us tick. Following further qualification, I worked as a play therapist at the Maudsley Hospital in London. It really was meaningful work, deeply human, and helped me develop my deep understanding of human behavior and group dynamics. It was also emotionally heavy, and when I realized I was heading for burnout, I pivoted and went to do something completely different.

I went into the travel industry. Yes, I became a holiday rep. Then I moved into training and leadership development with Falcon Holidays, now First Choice Holidays and part of the two E Group. I loved this time in my career in a role that kept evolving and expanding. I was the first trainer in the company when I started, and during my time there built a whole overseas learning and development team that provided a service to the resort teams all around the world.

It was pioneering work, designing, experiential learning, building a team, and supporting cultural integration and change initiatives during a period of rapid growth. Looking back, it was where I first brought together my experience of psychology and human behavior and aligned it with learning and leadership in a business setting.

After several years of leading the overseas training division, I eventually left to set up my own business. And that brings us to act two, becoming and Breaking. For the next 14 years, I ran my business starting as an independent training consultant, but quickly becoming immersed in far deeper change work.

One of my early assignments was a large cultural change program. It wasn't just structural, it was behavioral, emotional human. I designed and facilitated team sessions that help people confront their resistance and reimagine what was possible. These were challenging, cathartic, and powerful sessions, and by the end teams were no longer saying, we can't do that, but asking how can we solve this?

I also coached the CEO and facilitated the senior executive team. I was really in it at the deep end, a young consultant, really learning as I go. And to give you an idea of how long ago this was, this was before coaching was even a thing. That work lit a fire in me. I wanted to go deeper, so I pursued further development first NLP, then an MSC in change.

Agent skills and strategies. It was experiential, psychological, and stretched me beyond my comfort zone. I. We explored change at the individual team and organizational level using models from Gestalt transaction analysis group, dynamic systems thinking. It gave me just, not just tools, but a rigorous framework for my practice.

And during that time, I also became a mother, navigated a divorce and raised my daughter as a single parent. Through it all, my work sustained me and my rep reputation brought clients. In those days, there was no need for marketing. I also trained as a coach and even co-authored a book on relationship coaching, briefly running a second practice along my corporate work.

Then in 2006, I made a big move wanting a better environment for my daughter. We left London for Hartfordshire and I underestimated how hard it would be living in a new location, new school, rebuilding both personal and professional networks. My business took a hit. Emotionally, I was drained. A part-time role at Ralph Lauren came along just in time and working there reminded me of the energy and joy of being in a values aligned culture.

When that contract eventually ended, I made another big decision with my daughter being more independent and needing me less. I wanted a full-time career, which led me to Tesco. And this was a real turning point moment for me in my career. And although it was relatively short, the learning I took from it was profound.

I was appointed as a leadership coach to the board of the property division. It looked like a great opportunity, but what I stepped into was dysfunction, silence, and ego. I've been recruited for my experience and alternative approach, but once on board that turned out to not be the case. My strengths of building trust, offering insight seemed to vanish.

The leader who brought me in, rejected my feedback, and I struggled to find my voice. I internalized the failure. It was one of the hardest years of my career. But I also learned so much. Tesco are a huge and successful organization and do lots of things really well, but it taught me the value of finding a workplace where your strengths and values align.

I. I learned the cost of performative values. I learned how people pleasing my own ego in disguise can limit accountability, and I learned how hard it is to be the minority voice in a system that doesn't want to change. But despite finding it incredibly hard, that chapter didn't break me. It refined me.

It sharpened my commitment to psychological safety, integrity, and truth telling. I also learned a lot about what are the conditions that set me up for success, but also how do we make sure that other people are set up for success as well. Interestingly, when I left Tesco, they thanked me for the grace with which I did so, and I returned to work with them as an external consultant.

It was a big lesson for me that I got that whenever leaving anywhere, you should always end well. Things don't turn out for all sorts of reasons. Many things that are beyond our control and how we leave creates a legacy for ourselves going forward. Act three. Coming home to voice and purpose, I moved from Tesco into a role at Pena, one of their board and executive coaches, and it felt like a homecoming.

People spoke the same language. I felt like I was back in my groove doing work. I loved with people who got it. There I co-created their first Women in Leadership program. Something I've remained involved in ever since. Supporting women to navigate bias and building confidence has actually become a core part of my practice.

When Pena was acquired in 2016, I returned to independent practice, but this time I came back stronger with associate roles, long-term clients, and work that aligns with my values. In the last decade, I've partnered with organizations like Aldi, BMW Network, rail Tapestry, the Adecco Group, as well as the NHS and a selection of local authorities helping leaders and teams do the deep human work that makes real change possible.

In 2020, I published my book, ego, get Over Yourself and Lead. It came out just as the world was turning inward, mid pan pandemic, and still it made it to number one on Amazon. That meant a lot, not for the ranking, but because it told me the message was landing. The book was born outta everything I'd seen in boardrooms, in teams, and in myself.

How ego, whether it shows up as bravado, perfectionism, or self-doubt, could block connection, limit potential, and erode trust. I wanted to explore how we lead when we put ego in its rightful place, not eliminated, but understood and managed. It's now been five years since my book came out, and I still hear from leaders who say it helped them breathe, reflect, and lead differently.

That's all I ever hoped for when I wrote it, bringing us almost up to date in 2024. I was delighted to receive the Gold Award for the best coach at the Best Business Women Awards. It was a complete surprise and a moment that gave me a, a chance to pause. The process of applying for the award made me reflect on what I'd built the impact of my work and the community I'm proud to serve.

I was so impressed with the ethos of the awards and their focus on championing women that I'm now a judge and sponsor. I. It's something that really aligns with me and I sponsor the best female leader category because creating a fairer, more inclusive world is more than a professional value for me.

It's a lifelong mission, and I find this hard to believe and also to say, but I'm now in my sixties and I'm entering what I think is probably the final chapter of my full-time working life. But to be honest, I'm not slowing down. If anything, I feel more purposeful than ever. And that brings us to why this podcast and why now?

So I set up the Sheely's Collective PO podcast as part of my purpose. It really is a labor of love. I. I dunno if it'll boost my business. I'm not really doing it for that. I'm doing it because I want to contribute to the world and I want to get the conversation around women in leadership, allyship and the things that don't ordinarily get discussed out there in the open.

It's a platform for real stories, hidden strengths and powerful insights. For women leading and allies supporting them for naming the things we rarely say out loud, like doubt, fear, ambition, inequality, and showing what leadership really looks like when it's grounded in truth. I hope you've enjoyed listening to my story and that it's brought you value and insights.

Thank you so much for being here.