Bonus Episode -Why Women Can’t Change the System Alone: An International Men’s Day Reflection

In this short International Men’s Day bonus episode, Mary reflects on why women cannot create systemic gender equity alone — and why understanding and engaging men is essential for real change.

This special bonus episode marks International Men’s Day with a powerful reflection on the vital role men play in creating gender-equitable workplaces. Drawing on conversations with four podcast guests — Daniele Fiandaca, Robert Baker, Zeenat Ahmed-Peto and Craig McMurrough — Mary explores the emotional pressures men face, the leadership behaviours that accelerate inclusion, and why women leaders can’t carry this work alone.

In this episode Mary explores:

• Why the system is “broken for men too”
• Daniele Fiandaca’s insight that 97% of men who lean in become better leaders and better humans
• Robert Baker’s belief that allyship is a leadership behaviour, not a side project
• Zeenat Ahmed-Peto’s perspective on male vulnerability and emotional conditioning
• Craig McMurrough as an example of compassionate, purpose-led masculinity
• How women and men can move forward together

A short, thoughtful, actionable episode designed to spark meaningful conversations on International Men’s Day and beyond.

🔗 Connect with Mary: marygregory.com

📣 LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/marygregory

📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mary_gregory/

📰 Newsletter: Subscribe on LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/build-relation/newsletter-follow?entityUrn=7029410958645059584

🎙 Want to be a guest? Get in touch!
⭐ Subscribe, share & leave a review
✨ Produced by Mary Gregory Leadership Coaching

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

Hello and welcome to She Leads Collective Podcast. I'm Mary Gregory and I'm so glad you're here. This podcast is a space for honest conversations about what it really means to lead as a woman today and how we can all show up with more courage, care and clarity. You'll hear from inspiring women, powerful allies, and bold truth tellers who are changing the game not by playing tougher but by leading smarter, softer and stronger. Hello and welcome to this special episode of the She Lee's Collective Podcast. Today is International Men's Day, and I wanted to mark the moment with a short reflection, one that speaks directly to those of us committed to gender equity, inclusion, and changing the systems that we work in. Because here's the truth: women cannot change these systems alone. Not because we lack insight, expertise or willpower, far from it. But because the systems we're working to reshape were built with men at the centre. If we want real sustainable culture change, we must understand men, engage men, and invite men into this journey with us. To make real progress, I absolutely believe that it takes men and women working together. And across this podcast season, four conversations in particular have illuminated this for me. Today I want to share the insights from these episodes, not clips, but my reflections that remind us why we need men and women to working together to make this change happen. Let me start with my guest from last week, Danieli Fiandaka. Danieli described walking into dinner with 12 women and suddenly losing his confidence. In that moment he understood something many women feel in workplaces every day, what it means to be in the out group. Then he shared a statistic that stopped me in my tracks. 97% of men who lean into inclusion say it makes them better leaders and better human beings. 97%. This tells us something important. Engaging men in inclusion isn't only beneficial for women, it's transformational for men too. But as Danieli reminded us, many men feel alienated from the conversation before it even begins. Not because they don't care, but because they're not sure where they fit or whether they're welcome. One of our roles as women leaders is to make sure we build the bridge. Not to carry the burden, but to open the door and keep it open. And this becomes even clearer when I think about my conversation with Robert Baker in episode 17. Robert is a senior male leader who has championed gender equity for decades. And he said something beautifully simple. He reminded us that when men in positions of power lean in, sponsoring women, challenging bias, role modelling inclusion, culture shifts happen faster and deeper. His message was this If you're a leader today and you're not leaning in, you're already behind. Robert demonstrates that allyship isn't accidental. It's a choice, it's a practice, and it's a responsibility. And that perspective perfectly complements Danieli's insight. When men step into this work, everyone rises. The next reflection comes from my conversation with Zinat Ahmad Petto in episode 14. Zinat spoke powerfully about male vulnerability, the quiet internal battles so many men are fighting, the pressure to be strong, the fear of appearing weak, the conditioning that teaches boys and men to suppress emotion, avoid softness, and carry everything on their own. What stayed with me was this. Many men want to feel more, express more, connect more, and they just don't know how. And when I hold that alongside the work women are doing to challenge bias and find our voice, it becomes clear we are all trying to break out of our own boxes. Women are breaking out of the play small and be agreeable box. Men are breaking out of the don't feel and don't need anybody box. When we recognise this, then that leaves the door open for compassion to grow, conversations to deepen, and real change to become possible. And then there's Craig McMurray, one half of Mr. and Mrs. Overy. Craig has run marathons in a giant Ovary costume to raise awareness of ovarian cancer. He shows up with courage, humour, tenderness and conviction. Not just because he's trying to tick an allyship box, but because he cares deeply and wants to make a real difference. Craig, I believe, represents something that we don't highlight enough. Positive, purpose-led masculinity. Not masculinity rooted in dominance or silence, but in compassion, advocacy, courage, and humanity. Men like Craig show us what allyship looks like in the wild and why visibility matters. So in this International Men's Day, here's the invitation I'd love you to consider. Let's stop expecting women to carry this work alone. Let's stop assuming men don't care. And let's start creating more intentional spaces where men feel safe, heard, and equipped to join us. If we really want gender equity, if we want inclusive workplaces, if we want cultures where everyone can belong, then men cannot be bystanders. They must be part of the process, part of the conversation and part of the solution. And here's another truth. When men lean in, organisations transform. As you go into your day, perhaps ask one man, a colleague, a partner, a leader, a friend, what's your experience of being a man in the workplace right now? You might be surprised by what opens up. And if you'd like to hear a powerful example of men and women driving change together, today's full episode with Karen Dobre's Pitch Invasion is the perfect companion. Karen shares how equality in football isn't just a women's issue, it's a societal one. And it shows what becomes possible when men and women collaborate for change. Thank you so much for listening and thank you for being part of this collective. I'll see you in the next episode. Thank you so much for listening to the She Leads Collective podcast. If this episode resonated with you, follow the show or share it with a friend and leave a quick review below. Or leave us a comment. Change happens through conversation, so let's keep this one going. Listen out for the next episode and join me as we keep lifting the lid on the stories that matter. Take care and keep leading with heart.