Feeling Off? Your Nervous System Knows Why

You’re tired… but it’s more than tired.

You’re overwhelmed.
 You’re procrastinating simple things.
 You don’t feel like yourself anymore.

In this episode of Joy Unfiltered, Rachel sits down with Dr. Holly King to explore what burnout really is and why it’s not just about doing too much, but about a dysregulated nervous system.

This conversation blends science, self-awareness, and practical tools to help you understand what’s happening in your body and how to guide yourself back to balance.

Because burnout isn’t a personal failure.
 It’s a signal.

And when you learn how to listen… you can begin to feel like yourself again.

🎯 KEY TAKEAWAYS

•  What burnout actually is (beyond exhaustion) 
•  Common signs: overwhelm, procrastination, disrupted sleep 
•  How your nervous system shifts into fight, flight, freeze, or fawn 
•  Why simple tasks can feel impossible when you’re dysregulated 
•  How to create space before reacting 
•  Breathwork as a fast, accessible reset 
•  EFT tapping to reduce emotional intensity 
•  Why joy and gratitude help regulate your system 
•  The power of a “joy list” 
•  How keystone habits support your energy 
•  Journaling to shift mindset and future direction 
•  When to change your mindset and when to change your environment 

🛠️ SIMPLE TOOLS TO TRY

1. 3–5 Breath Reset
Take 3–5 slow, deep breaths.
Signal to your body: I am safe.

2. Joy List
Write what brings you joy - use it when you feel off.

3. Keystone Habit
Identify one habit that stabilizes your day and protect it.

🌿 CONNECT WITH DR. HOLLY KING

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💛 CALL TO ACTION

If this resonated:

👉 Take a breath right now
👉 Send one joyful text today
👉 Sign the One Joyful Text a Day pledge 
👉 Share this episode with someone who needs it

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:05

Welcome to Joy Unfiltered. I'm Rachel, and this is a podcast about joy. Not the shiny performative kind. Not the everything happens for a reason kind. This is joy as a strategy. A way to stay steady when life feels loud. A way to stay human when things are hard. A way to lead, love, and live without burning out or checking out. Some episodes will be just me. Some will be honest conversations with people who have lived their way into a deeper, truer joy. No fixing, no bypassing, just real stories, real tools, and room to breathe. Let's get into it. Well, welcome to or welcome back to Joy Unfiltered. I am Rachel, your host, and you are in for a treat today. I have another delightful guest with me today. So let me get her introduced so we can get on with the joyful conversation. I have with me today Dr. Holly King, who is a coach, consultant, and speaker who helps spiritually curious, service-based professionals, healers, and leaders move beyond pushing through. Into co-creating lives with the universe. Her integrative approach to living and leading blends practical tools and spiritual wisdom to guide overgivers in reclaiming their energy, restoring balance, and leading with clarity. When she is not guiding others through transformation, Holly can be found with her cats, Mercury and Orion, um, Orion. Sorry, Mercury and Orion, um, diving into a mystery novel or bringing a touch of Disney magic and cosplay creativity into everyday life. Sounds delightful. I'm so glad that you are here, Holly.

SPEAKER_00 2:15

Thanks so much, Rachel. I'm very excited to be here with you.

SPEAKER_01 2:18

Yes, and we were just talking just a tiny bit before the podcast. You are calling in from the Phoenix area. Those of you who know, I am from Minnesota, and we were just, gosh, talking about how well let me say, interesting the weather is is behaving, right? So maybe the weather is going through a little bit of burnout and maybe needs a little more joy at some time, too. So let me say definitely going through some burnout here. Records for setting temperatures. Yes, you were saying 105 gonna be in Phoenix. So definitely the sun is working overtime in your neighborhood. Um, so let's start with that. So you, I don't believe are originally from Phoenix, but would love to kind of know a little bit of your backstory, whatever you want to share with us, and how did you get into doing the work that you are that you're currently doing?

SPEAKER_00 3:10

Yes, I love that question. So I'm originally from Denver, Colorado, although I lived all along the front range and in the mountains growing up. And I came to Phoenix kind of a long way around through some a variety of life transitions. That's one of the things that I found kind of interesting about my life path is that I have all these kind of pivot points that happen along the way and lead me into new adventures and opportunities. And Phoenix was one of those where I've actually visited while I was living in Portland, Oregon, and fell in love with it and said, gosh, I'd sure love to move here. And when I had an opportunity to leave the Pacific Northwest, I ended up coming here after looking at a few different cities. My criteria were warm and sunny, and I have met those.

SPEAKER_01 3:57

You certainly have in Phoenix, warm and warm and sunny, warm and sunny. Indeed. Yes. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:04

So tell us a little bit of oh, sorry, go ahead. You go ahead. Oh, no problem. Thank you. Uh, so I kind of in this path, I have been in the education and nonprofit leadership space for most of my career. And I really started out uh with focusing on teachers and school leaders. My business is called empowered educators because I really wanted to focus on empowering the educators that are in the classrooms and in schools, working with our next generation. And that has shifted as I've grown in my own leadership development processes over time to really focusing on leadership, dealing with burnout, how people really come back from the life challenges and balancing all the things that we often have as high capacity humans. And I love incorporating my own personal development journey and learnings. I'm a serial learner. I have a million certifications and all the things, as probably some of you can relate to. And so I'm really looking at how do I blend all that together to make an impact in the world and with people who are wanting to have more balance in their lives, more clarity and discernment, and feeling like they really are the co-creators of their life with their higher power, whatever it is that folks believe in. I love that.

SPEAKER_01 5:22

It's so many threads to pull on there. The first um is that I love, I was telling you before, I was telling Holly before we even jumped on that I believe that people bring us to conversation or the universe brings us to conversations with people of either who are in our like space or we're supposed to have these conversations with. I grew up in a family of educators. Um, and it's so interesting. I was my ex-husband was um a teacher. And well, so I've had educators at the college level and at the and at the Cake 12 level as well. But it was interesting. I I used to think there was such a difference in between the corporate world and the education world, especially, you know, what would a kindergarten teacher and I was doing training and development in organizations have in common, but it was so fascinating to me that we could sit at the dining room table and have a conversation about what had happened at work that day. And honestly, the only difference was is that I got to use three syllable boards and he got to use one syllable board because it was the same thing. That's so true. That, although though it can look a little more complex, that the same themes are just human beings, right? Absolutely, absolutely. The ability that you have then to um step from that space, and probably still you're probably still working in that space of education and helping teachers, but knowing how that translates then to just the common themes that that people are feeling. So you talked about you talked about burnout. So let's let's just jump right in and and talk about burnout. So what are some of the common things that you are seeing when when we say burnout, like what does that what does that mean to you, or what are you seeing that that means to your clients?

SPEAKER_00 7:09

Yeah, such a good question. And I think it's kind of been one of those buzzwords that's been popping around, and not everybody has a shared understanding. So, from my perspective, I think about burnout as when our nervous system really is kind of in the fight, fight, freeze, fawn approaches and is isn't able to regulate. So we're not able to bring our best selves to our life and leadership. And burnout can come through a variety of ways, but sometimes the symptoms that people tend to describe are things like waking up in the middle of the night worrying about things, or dreading getting up and going to work the next day, or procrastinating on things that should be simple. For example, I have a lot of issues where it's just so overwhelming that I get caught up in like analysis paralysis and I feel like I'm spinning instead of actually being able to just choose one thing and go do that. And so that's something that I help my clients work with to get kind of back on track to make a plan. A strategy that I've had to use is actually timing how long it takes me to do what seem to be simple chores, but are the things that are really barriers for me, like putting away the laundry after it's washed and dried, or emptying the dishwasher. Uh and I just have uh a lot of those kinds of things where it's like the daily living activities seem to kind of fall apart, or maybe we have a keystone habit that if we don't do that, it breaks down our willpower or our ability to be really functional for the rest of the day. And so those are kinds of the daily living symptoms I see of burnout, in addition to a lot of the other kind of physical, emotional symptoms that get talked about, like depression or overeating, uh, those kind of coping strategies that we use, which really goes back to that nervous system regulation.

SPEAKER_01 8:57

Sure, absolutely. So some of the things that I hear heard you say, and I think that it's important for us to um for everybody listening to kind of know that because they might not associate, because I do believe burnout feels like a uh an overused word, right? Sometimes, but you're really getting into the symptoms. So waking up in the middle of the night, dreading going to work, procrastination, depression, overeating, those some of those things. So if you're experiencing some of those things, um, they might be symptoms then of of burnout. So love, I mean not love. So to to recognize that. So even if you don't like or if you're um kind of recoiling recoiling at the word burnout, and oh, that's not me, if you are feeling some of these things, you maybe then are getting into that whole nervous system kind of dysregulation, right? Which I would love to know what your definition of that is as well, because I think that certainly is, and I talk about that a lot about joy, about how joy helps us regulate our nervous system. But like, what is your definition? You talk about that, what does that mean to you?

SPEAKER_00 10:07

Yeah, so I think the kind of the bare bones of it is is you just don't feel right in your body. Uh I would say that's a simple way of it, where you for me, I describe it as when I do get re-regulated, I feel like I'm myself again. That's the phrase I tend to use. I'm like, wow, I just feel like myself again. I'm so happy. And typically that's because I've done the physical regulation components. I've been shifting my thoughts through joy and gratitude practices, and that helps me get back to a place that feels more like my normal.

SPEAKER_01 10:41

Sure. So let's talk about that because that was the other thing that I wrote down is that you talked about or you touched on one strategy in terms of how in terms of timing. So let's talk about maybe some other strategies that you have when people are experiencing some of these burnout symptoms. So I'm assuming that the that the timing piece is saying that, okay, is well, I'm gonna let you talk more about the timing piece. So that was strategy number one. And then it sounds like you have a couple of other strategies that people could use as well.

SPEAKER_00 11:11

Sure. Yeah, so I think that in in general, one is really recognizing when our bodies are giving us the signals that we're having this dysregulation. Uh, because without that awareness, it's hard to do anything else because we tend to be, you know, if we are in fight, if we're in flight, when we're in freeze or fawn, those kind of reactions to our environmental factors that shut down our cognitive processing in our brain, it's really hard for us to step out of that and shift it because we're when we're in that survival mode, it's almost impossible actually to do anything different than just try to be in survival. And that's where we go into those coping mechanisms. So the first thing is really being able to somehow create some space for yourself of being able to be the observer, to recognize that, oh gosh, look, I'm having burnout or I'm in freeze right now. I'm trying to avoid this situation because I'm uncomfortable and I don't know what to do here. So just creating a little bit of a pause, a mindful space to be able to recognize and acknowledge that is kind of the first step. And then we can go into strategies. Sure.

SPEAKER_01 12:21

So how does one do that? So if I'm in that space, do you have techniques or tips for someone when they're like, okay, I, yep, I something is happening, but how do they, is it is it through breath work? Is it through journaling? Is it through like what are ways in which that you walk your clients through then that even that first step of creating space and awareness?

SPEAKER_00 12:46

Yes, thanks for asking that. I would say the most accessible point is breathwork because we can do that no matter what our circumstances are. Some of the other strategies, like journaling is really effective too, but again, we have to be out of the survival mode and into cognitive thinking to be able to do journaling and have space, you know, and time away from whatever else is going on in our lives. So breath work is a really great one. I also use um emotional freedom technique, tapping. And sometimes that's just a simple like tapping on my collarbone, which is one of the points that EFT uses to just regulate. And sometimes I'm literally just saying out louder to myself while tapping on that collarbone, I'm safe, I'm safe, I'm safe until I feel the release in my body. But sometimes that if you're in like a work situation or a place where you can't be as obvious as that, breath work is the easiest and most accessible strategy. And that can just be doing something as simple as just deep breaths in and out. If you just do a few of those until you feel your body settle, usually that's your shoulders kind of relaxing, your jaw unclenching out of different types of breath that people can use, but really just three to five deep breaths, breathing in and out really strongly, is a great way to just calm the body for the moment. And that then then allows us to access that thinking state of our brain.

SPEAKER_01 14:08

Oh, I I love that. And you're right, because I also I want to talk a little bit about EFT tapping. I just learned, well, I learned about that about five years ago and just experienced it last year, and I'm a huge fan. But you're right, we're not always gonna do that. And for those of you who don't know that what that is, we'll explain that in a second. Um, but you're right, there are times when you just need to take a couple of big deep breaths, right? And nobody else around you needs to know. Nobody needs to know that you are practicing this self-regulation piece, you're just breathing deep. So whether you're at work you know, and in a meeting or getting ready to do a podcast, or you are in line at the bank, wherever you are, you have that you have that acute um acute access to your breath. Right.

SPEAKER_02 14:57

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 14:58

And then so let's talk a little bit more about EFT because I again was impressed, and I can do all the woo-woo stuff and go there, but I honestly was amazed at how quickly that I was able to, I did it with a coach, but how quickly that I was able to um calm myself using that technique. It was like, I'm like, yeah, it's amazing. It's like a magic wand. It is, sort of, sort of, sort of, yeah. Yeah. So let's talk a little bit about the protocol and then like what is happening in our bodies when we're doing this.

SPEAKER_00 15:33

Yeah, great question. So emotional freedom technique is it basically uses the energy meridians in our bodies. And so we tap on specific points that so there's kind of the top of the head, the inside of the eyebrow, the outer eye, the cheek, above the lip, up on the chin, collarbone, under the arm. And there's a variety of protocols about how people do the and different particular practitioners do it in different ways. But the idea of this is that by using the tapping on those points, it's similar to acupuncture, where people where uh professionals will put needles into those meridian or energy centers to help unblock the flow of energy through our body. And so tapping is doing that same thing with touch. So instead of a needle being in the in your head or in your your hand or wherever the points are, you're using the physical touch just lightly to uh unblock the energy in those areas, and there are points that are really associated with helping calm the body's reactive responses. So the purpose really of emotional freedom technique is to take a reactive or a high intensity situation, emotion, feeling, and lower the intensity of it. Now, you're not always going to get to no intensity in one round of tapping, but you usually can experience a good level of decrease of the intensity. And so it is that quick kind of quick way to do it. There's tons of YouTube videos, online scripts, and things to do. I would recommend that if people are doing tapping for the first time, that they do try to work with someone who is certified in it, because there are some things, you know, if we have traumatic experiences and really deep-seated emotions, it's helpful to have somebody with you if you're kind of working on those really intense emotions. I tend to use tapping with my clients because I'm not a therapist or a psychologist that um we're not going into like those deep-seated, kind of traumatic PTSD abuse level kinds of emotions that we're trying to clear through tapping. We're really looking at things like stress and burnout and kind of reducing your anxiety level, those kinds of things.

SPEAKER_01 17:45

Yeah, Holly, when I did it, it was really I it was fairly, again, amazing about the level of stress that I was feeling about a particular thing and it going through, and it was, I don't know, less than five minutes that we walked through this. And my level of stress really went from, you know, maybe an eight, maybe down to like a four. And I was, it was surprising to me because I thought I know how to think through this. I can talk through this with someone with a code, but going through this and using that the energy work, it really did I did cry, but I also went from the stress to the tears all the way through like, oh, okay, I feel okay about this now. Not not that it was gone, but so those of you listening that haven't tried it, um, I I appreciate your like explanation of that because it feels really accessible. And yes, I would also say too, either work with a coach or for somebody, especially when you are just first starting out, but but it is something that you can do by yourself, right? So if you're not in line of debate and you feel like tapping on your face because there are different places to do it, maybe at home, try it and use it or in your office behind a closed door.

SPEAKER_00 18:56

Yes, and you can even tap for things like weight loss or bringing money in. So it's kind of fun. There's all kinds of ways to use it. That's be that's maybe different than just dealing with a difficult emotion that you're experiencing. Sure.

SPEAKER_01 19:10

I am gonna do some research after this, then that's that's that's amazing. That's amazing. All right, so now we've now we've created this this space either through a couple of those techniques. We've used some breath work or some EFT tapping or you know, gotten through. So we we we know this is happening, we're ready to deal with this. What what happens next? Like what's our what's our next step after those, after that?

SPEAKER_00 19:34

Yeah, so the next step is really looking at kind of the rewiring process. So when when we get our rig our nervous systems in a state where we can then proceed, we have the opportunity to choose differently. So sometimes that is looking at a different reaction or a different strategy or thinking about the future. If this situation happens again, what can I do differently that can have a different result that's of more interest to me? Um, it's also places where we can do kind of mindset work, whether it's journaling, whether it's using affirmations to shift our mindset, uh, whatever really is of interest to people, this is the great time to bring in joy. Like I love doing joy lists. And especially when I'm in that place where I've been kind of in depression or anxiety and I've been able to get that pause, when I want to then shift my state into a better feeling place, that is when I go to gratitude and to joy. And I actually keep in my bullet journal a list of all the things that make me happy and bring me joy. And so I look back at that. So that's a great strategy I recommend people do is creating a joylist, not when you're in the midst of feeling terrible, but when you're actually kind of happy and things are going well, just note down what what are the simple things and what are the bigger things. Like for me, I love Disney. So going to Disney Parks brings me joy. That's on my joylist, but also is taking a bubble bath or reading on the couch with my cats. So it's those little things, being out in my backyard and listening to bird song. And then when you know what those things are that bring you joy or that you have that gratitude about, intentionally bringing joy into your life when you're not feeling it as much is the next step, in my opinion, where you actually say, okay, you know, if I know that listening to bird song outside brings me joy and I'm not feeling that right now, I'm just gonna go outside for 15 minutes and listen to the birds sing and enjoy the sun on my skin. Yeah, I like that.

SPEAKER_01 21:34

And I like the fact, Holly, that you say that it is something that we need to, because I talk about this a lot as we are creating joy habits, is that you when you are feeling good, create that list. So practice. It's easier to practice joy when we are feeling joyful, right? But we can continue to practice and notice that um when we're not feeling as joyful, and if we need that. list then then that's what those lists are there for. Yeah, absolutely. So I would love to, because again, I'm beginning to like definitions and what, not assuming what people are thinking when we use words like journaling and affirmations. So can you talk a little bit about what like a protocol or what how you use journaling or how you might use that with your clients or affirmations, both and so sure.

SPEAKER_00 22:25

Yeah, I have a a couple of ways. So for me personally, journaling is one of my keystone habits. I started years ago, literally like in 2012 with Julia Cameron's The Artist Way and doing what she calls morning pages, which is basically kind of your brain dump in the morning. So I have done that almost every day for 14, 13 and a half years now. And it is one of those things that if I don't journal, I notice that things start falling apart later in the day. So for me it's a keystone habit, super important. That is a little bit more of a time commitment than some people like bullet journaling has become very popular where it's literally just like little bullet bullet points, you know, three, four things. You could do just a gratitude journal of three or four pieces of things you're gratitude, you're grateful for about your life from the day, if you do it at the end of the night before bed or first thing in the morning of something that happened the day before. People sometimes like to journal to process situations. I use my journaling a lot for that. I also do what one of my business coaches calls wealth scripting, which is where I'm thinking into the future that I want as my life and I write it as if I'm in that future now and all the things that are how my life is. So it's kind of like making a vision for your future, but you're writing it as if it's in present tense. And that's a really fun uh way to do some journaling that gets your juices flowing and creativity and feeling good about life.

SPEAKER_01 23:51

Yeah, absolutely. And I am a huge fan of that book as well. I'm not sure how many years ago that I that I read that but those morning pages certainly are a um a staple in my life as well. And I love, which I want to get back to so I'm going to put a little pin in Keystone Habit because you've said that a couple of times and I just want to make sure that everybody knows what that is as well. But I heard you say about journaling that there are different ways that we can use them for different for different reasons, right? So those morning pages for me it sounds like for you as well can help to process and it's a little when I talk about those that way of journaling it's a little about free writing that I don't really know where I'm going to end up. Sometimes it's about something but a lot of times is I just start writing knowing that I'm going to write for three pages and I don't even know what is going to happen during that sometimes nothing and sometimes amazing things happen. Right. So I've heard you say that you also talked about we can do bullet point journaling or gratitude. So you know just writing things that are that happened or that we're grateful for. And then the third thing that you said is also future writing right so that we write as if right so I am writing as if I already have a million dollars right or I'm writing as if I am living on the beach in California might may or may not be things that I wish for um or working towards so future writing those things so that so what's the so let me ask you then so if I am doing the future writing what's the isn't that just dreaming like what's the what's the benefit to my brain if I am doing that future writing?

SPEAKER_00 25:30

Ooh that's such a good question and very juicy. I think from my perspective it is kind of putting us in that more receptive state to bring those desires to fruition I talk a lot about kind of conscious co-creation and that's like in the realm of manifestation. So people again buzzwords but really trying to think through of like these are the goals that I have for my life this is my desired future state. And as I write about what it feels like to have that in my now our brains actually don't know the difference between what it doesn't exist in time our thoughts don't so our brains don't actually have any awareness of when we're thinking a thought whether it's about the past whether it's about an imagined future good or bad the brain interprets it is to interprets that as if it is happening currently so when we write as if something is happening currently we're actually helping reprogram our brains to be like oh of course this is what's happening. And that helps us kind of collapse the the timeline I guess in terms of being able to bring our desired future state closer to us. Now that doesn't mean you don't still have to go out and take some actions to bring those things to fruition but if you're really imagining what it could be through that journaling process and feeling the emotions that's a really important part of this that helps you kind of shift into that state of being ready to receive those opportunities in the future as they come toward you.

SPEAKER_01 27:05

Yeah I love too woo woo here but no no I you believe me you can go as woo-woo as you want but I think that but I think that yes but it's not but it's also not woo-woo right so that you're saying you know being open to receiving the opportunities because I think the other thing that happens is that our brains are filtering in for like millions and trillions of pieces of information for us that we don't recognize in our thoughts. But if we say because you've written it down that here is here are the goals or I'm living as if our brains are going to start to say oh I'm going to show you then the things that match those thoughts so you say I want to Rachel I want to live on the beach in California and so I am going to filter then the opportunities so I'm going to see those opportunities and not other opportunities that will you know bring me to northern Minnesota what whatever that might be. Exactly it's both the living and it's the action piece too right so that I my brain is showing me these things I'm acting and then and then all of a sudden it it happens and so we're continuing that cyclical thing that happens right so it is it can feel woo-woo but then talking to someone else about I don't quite understand how everything always happens but the I don't need to like I don't understand how we are on Zoom and we can see each other right now.

SPEAKER_00 28:34

I don't understand how that actually happens I don't really care like I don't care how it doesn't happen it doesn't matter like I don't have to know how the engine in my car works to be able to drive my car and appreciate that it gets me from point A to point B.

SPEAKER_01 28:47

That's the mechanic's job if it breaks right so so writing is so part of the journal one of the journaling techniques that you can use is writing as if and we don't have to understand but it does work. It works because our brains are filtering and that we're and that we're feeling into that as well. So I love that. So I do want to go back and ask though so you've talked a couple of times about keystone habits. So can you just define what that what that means for you?

SPEAKER_00 29:12

Yeah I don't actually know if I've ever thought about that. I call it that for myself because that just makes sense in my brain but I've done a a lot of reading and uh I'm I'm a little bit of a personal development junkie. So the power of habits, atomic habits, you know all those books that are out there around like kind of doing your habits stacking and thinking through what what works to change your habits. I really love all that of all that life hack stuff. So for me what I've noticed for myself is that there are certain habits that if I do them it helps set me up for success for the rest of my day. And it usually is like a 24 hour period. I don't really get much more leverage out of my habits than that. So there are certain things that you know if if if I wake up at the same time every day that helps. If I um go through my kind of my normal morning routine it helps set my brain up to be like okay this is what we're doing today. And the keystone habits I think are those ones that you kind of if you track over time you kind of start to see patterns emerge of like these things really are important for me to do because it helps me have better willpower later or make better decisions or feel better as I go throughout my day. And if I don't do that I actually see the opposite of that happening. So for me doing the journaling in the morning as a keystone habit is it is a difference for me kind of with my mood, with my energy levels with my willpower all the way through the end of the day. And I just notice if I don't do the journaling in the morning by the evening time my I feel a little bit like I'm falling apart. Like I'm making poor choices. I'm not uh my willpower is gone I don't know why that those are related but they are for me. So I think when people just are are able to really look at what are the things that you're doing or not doing and noticing whether there's some correlations to how that happens with your energy levels, with your mood that is important information. And so that's kind of how I define those Keystone habits the things that really impact me positively or negatively if I do or don't do them.

SPEAKER_01 31:22

What a great explanation of that and it also then is something that I mean it it we need some awareness then. But if we get that awareness and when you have that awareness I always I talk to people too about um because I come from the the wellness space about just notice how different food makes you feel and if it doesn't make you feel good don't eat it. But if it makes you feel good eat it right and so same thing with these keystone habits. So for you it's that journaling in the morning and if people start to try things because meditation for me does that same does that same thing I I can tell when I miss it during the day. So start to notice some of those things and attribute it to that. So those keystone those keystone habits that's great. Okay so we've created the space we have recognized we are rewiring and so now like where are we going from there in our own development in terms of releasing this burnout from our life so I I'm pausing for a moment to think about how I want to answer that.

SPEAKER_00 32:31

So there's there's always the we still have all the external factors that are contributing to the burnout but really what our goal here in my perspective is that we're bringing a level of mindfulness and awareness to our lives and then we get to choose what our responses are and how we move forward. So all of the practices that we've talked about that creating the space for the pause and the observation and acknowledgement of where we are the shifting out of that more negative state into something more positive that's choosing our response instead of just being at the whim of whatever's happening around us. And as we build that muscle we have to it is a practice it's not something that we just do once and we're like woohoo life is perfect. It's an ongoing thing because there's always stressors in our lives there's always external factors that are coming into us and impacting how we experience our lives but our job as the conscious co-creator then is to say this is what I'm choosing to focus on. And so that's where these practices to help shift and rewire our mindset, our focus, bringing in gratitude, bringing in joy intentionally helps us be that more responsive rather than reactive person in our lives. Because you know we can all have the same exact situation happen to us. And Rachel you might have a the same situation as I am in and you're going to have a different response than I am and it's just about how we're choosing to respond to that situation. So when we choose to respond in ways that feel good for us, that's that feels much more empowering and it allows us to have a better overall life experience which helps shift us out of the burnout. And sometimes we have to really look at what's contributing to the burnout because sometimes it is our own attitude and perspective but sometimes it's the situations that we're in. And so there are sometimes more important drastic measures we have to take but we have to look at where where our leverage points are. One of the best pieces of advice my mom ever gave me was when you're in a situation you don't like is you've got two choices. You can change your attitude or you can change your situation. And that's a little mantra I keep with me all the time. So when I'm feeling some kind of way about whatever's going on in my life I'm like can I shift my attitude here and I sometimes we'll work really hard around that using all these practice we've practices we've talked about. And sometimes attitude alone isn't going to fix the thing. So then you go into okay let me change the situation and that can be an environmental change it could be changing the relationships that you're in or how those relationships work. It could be changing the job that you're in the place you live like there's a lot of things to varying levels of extremes that we can do to change our situation. Right.

SPEAKER_01 35:22

Well go mom first let me say that go mom you know our moms know things right and then the second thing that brings me to that yes um that's where it might be helpful to have a coach and sometimes too because as we are going through you're right I think it is important and what you said was that we need to practice this shift in attitude. So it is a practice and you're right we'd probably never get to fully actualized people right because our life is about that and about learning and you said that is a joy of yours is to continually learn. So as we are practicing choosing joy or choosing um actions or reactions um and choosing our attitude um it does help sometimes then to have a coach such as yourself so that we can talk through all right have I done all of the things that I can do to change my attitude or do I need to change the environment yes and that's so important because when we're in the middle of our lives we don't always see the other possibilities.

SPEAKER_00 36:26

We get really tied into you know it has to be this way and we're trying to control things. Maybe that's just me I'm a control freak but it's probably resonating with other folks too. And so having someone who's not really there they don't have any skin in the game really they're there to support you but you whatever you choose isn't having some kind of impact directly on them and their lives. So they can provide that outside perspective and help you see things that maybe you are blind to or giving you some feedback sometimes that we don't want to hear but that's a growth experience too and really helping us think through with support what can we do?

SPEAKER_01 37:08

What is in our control what is in our area of influence and then how do we move on productively right well also I would I would assume that it's seeing that but it's also seeing both the granular picture and the big picture because as an individual we are living our lives minute to minute like we are in that like making that those minutia decisions because we have to because we're right there. Right. But a coach can say okay I can see those individual decisions but I can also see the bigger picture which is sometimes more challenging as individuals to step out and see the the bigger picture of that. Yeah the other thing Polly that you have said a couple times too is you talk about you are co-creating your life so talk to us a little bit about what that means to you the core are we co-creating with yeah well for me that is I call it universe or source.

SPEAKER_00 38:05

In my personal philosophy of life we are surrounded in around surrounded with some higher power and we're also that higher power. Whether you are a Christian or believe in a in another kind of major religion or you're more um secular there's lots of ways for us to look at this but from my perspective I kind of see us all as we are source and we also have source around us to tap into and to rely on. I use source because it's kind of like not it doesn't trigger most people with with different like religious backgrounds and things. So but you can call that God you can call it higher power you can call it your higher self whatever makes sense to you that's really what I'm talking about is that that higher intelligence that's beyond us but is also within us. And so when we're co-creators we're being very intentional about partnering with and acknowledging that that is within us that we are part of that creative force in the universe and that we can work with that creative force to help us manifest or bring forward achieve our goals whatever it is that we're trying to step into in our lives no lovely with is honestly one of my favorite words.

SPEAKER_01 39:29

So I love that you use that because we are co-creating with um and yeah I and I love that you I mean I I firmly believe that we are with ourselves and there is energy however you want to describe that in the in the universe and that's there is science around that there is I mean we're all energy that's all we are we just happen to be vibrating on different on different levels. But then using then that energy to one um co-create but I think it's also sometimes just about knowing that you're not alone right that you are doing this with some other energy so sometimes I think for me that just even gives me a little bit of solace knowing that oh even though I feel physically alone sometimes that I I'm never alone because there's some energy that's with that's with me too. So that's that it's just beautiful. This is such a lovely I mean I love all the things that you are that you are doing. So how does I mean we delved into this a little bit but how do I decide like how do I know that I need a coach that is going to help me realize that I am co-creating that I need that I just need to move to the next thing so what am I what am I feeling what as people are listening they how who is going to say hi yes that that's me that needs to call you and say I need to work well.

SPEAKER_00 41:03

Yeah well I I struggle with the word need a little bit because sometimes that's like we're looking for somebody else to fix the thing and that kind of goes against my whole like point of co-creation and whether you're co-creating with a coach with your higher power whatever um it's it's about us taking responsibility and and being the lead in that. But I do think when people are looking for a coach and and feeling that call to go a little further I would say it's typically when they're feeling like there is a greater impact or a next step that they're wanting to take but it feels too big maybe to get there on their own. Or maybe they've been trying for a while and nothing has shifted. And so that's when calling in your reinforcements can be a great strategy to seek folks who are experts in doing the thing or helping people do the thing that you're wanting to do next. So whether that is stepping into more authentic leadership in your work roles whether it is being a more empowered teacher in the classroom working with your students whether it's being a better parent, seeking a job promotion like there's so many parts of life that that can really benefit people from getting some external eyes on the situation, some guidance from people who have maybe been where you are and have achieved things or have worked with a lot of people to see the trends and patterns of what could help you move forward quicker than maybe you could do on your own.

SPEAKER_01 42:39

Yeah that's beautiful so having said all of that as we kind of wind wind down here a little bit is there anything that we haven't talked about that that you think is a really important for listeners to know or anything that you really just want them to walk away with after listening to this last this you know the last 45 minutes or so yes I think that a lot of times people we're we're kind of raised at least in the in the cult in the Western culture of individualism and doing things ourselves.

SPEAKER_00 43:16

And I think that a lot of what we've talked about today we've talked about a lot of individual effort but it what really opens things up for people is being in the context of community and connection and that that goes for for that conscious co-creation that is a connection with community and it's also around being in a coaching program or working individually with a coach and is building your own network of support in your own life. So I think where where we want to help people really shift is not thinking you have to do everything yourself. Not especially when you're in burnout people tend to isolate because you're not feeling like your best self and you don't want to be around other people because you don't want to drag everybody else into your Your depression or your anxiety or worries. And so you feel like you have to handle it yourself. And that's really can be can be a little bit dangerous for our mental health. So those are the times really to seek out community and support, whatever that looks like for you.

SPEAKER_01 44:17

That is such a good point because you're right. And even thinking about times in my life where I have felt that burnout, you're right. The last thing that I well, the last thing that sometimes I wanted to do is do anything. Do anything but re but reach out. But that is so antithetical to how growth is going to happen. So appreciate the um focus on connection and community. So if people are listening and they think, oh, this is great, yes, I am in those things. I'm feeling that I am ready to you know go through this creating of space. And um I was the word that I wrote down, re-recognizing where we are and rewiring, and they want to reach out to you. How can they do that? Where do they find you? How best is that how how does that relationship start to happen with you?

SPEAKER_00 45:09

Oh, thank you. Yes, the best way to reach me is on Instagram. I'm at Holly King ed at the end. And that's the best place. You can also, I have a uh little resource called the Energy Reset Map, which kind of goes back to the very beginning of our conversation. There's simple simple practical strategies that are science backed on how to quickly shift your energy when you're not feeling the way you want to feel, and that's free on my website at www.empowered educators.com slash map.

SPEAKER_01 45:44

Energy reset map. And I will put all of those links in the show notes. Um, but this was just delightful. I appreciate your the gift of this energy reset map. Um, I loved all of the insights that you have and and the reframe of just really thinking about um, even like thinking about the definition of burnout and then the things that we can do to move ourselves both individually and collectively forward and co-creating this new future for ourselves. So I appreciate I appreciate all of your insight. It was very I was taking a bunch of notes the whole time as well. So I've individually I appreciate it, and collectively as a as a listening community, we appreciate your time today. Um, and I will again put all those all of those links in the show notes. So please reach out to Holly if you have any questions. Um, if you enjoyed this episode, please make sure that you follow, share with others, leave us some comments as well below. And remember, Rachel from Joy Unfiltered, I am celebrating you today and every day. So have fun, live well, enjoy.