From Frazzled to Focused: Reclaim Your Time (for Real) with Alyssa Wolf

Feeling overwhelmed, overbooked, and like there’s never enough time in the day?

In this episode of Joy Unfiltered, Rachel sits down with time management expert Alyssa Wolf to unpack a refreshing, realistic approach to getting your time back—without doing more or pushing harder.

Instead of productivity hacks that leave you exhausted, Alyssa shares a powerful three-part framework: scheduling, mindset, and delegation—designed to help you create space, reduce stress, and actually enjoy your life again.

They also explore the deeper layers of time management, including:

•  Letting go of “should” thinking 
•  Rewriting limiting beliefs (aka “mind trash”) 
•  Creating realistic schedules with margin 
•  Delegating at home and in business 
•  Understanding your natural energy through Human Design 

This conversation is for anyone who wants more clarity, more space, and more joy in their day.

Because the goal isn’t to do more.
 It’s to live better.

🔑 KEY TAKEAWAYS

•  Time management is not just about your calendar—it’s about your mindset 
•  “Should” thinking is one of the biggest sources of overwhelm 
•  Scheduling without margin = guaranteed stress 
•  Delegation is essential, not optional 
•  You don’t need more discipline—you need a better system 
•  Personalization (like Human Design) can unlock ease and alignment

Connect with Alyssa

Website

Podcast 

LinkedIn

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:05

Welcome to Joy Unfiltered. I'm Rachel, and this is a podcast about joy. Not the shiny performative kind. Not the everything happens for a reason kind. This is joy as a strategy. A way to stay steady when life feels loud. A way to stay human when things are hard. A way to lead, love, and live without burning out or checking out. Some episodes will be just me. Some will be honest conversations with people who have lived their way into a deeper, truer joy. No fixing, no bypassing, just real stories, real tools, and room to breathe. Let's get into it. Well, welcome back, or welcome to Joy Unfiltered. This is Rachel, your host, and I have another delightful guest with us today. I have Alyssa Wolfe. And let me introduce her before I pass it over to her. But Alyssa started her business because she was bored, literally. She had too much free time on her hands after baby number five turned six months old. And six years later, Alyssa has successfully managed her human design-based time consulting business through every season, from babies to college-bound teenagers. She loves playing Time Wizard to other entrepreneur moms who want to grow through the hard phases of building a business alongside a family. So welcome, Melissa. Thank you, Rachel. Honored to be here. Yeah, excited to talk about this. It was excited to um, well, excited to delve in a little bit about human design. I will have to admit that I find it a little bit overwhelming, um, but cannot wait to hear more about your perspective on human design, but also about this whole time management piece. So for people who either have kids or don't have kids, which I don't, but I still suffer from kind of that time management stuff. I can't wait to delve into all the specifics. So why don't we start from um I would love to know in your bio, it was a little bit um, we introduced the audience to kind of where you started, but would love to know kind of what was the impetus to creating this business to helping other other women with their with their lives.

SPEAKER_02 2:49

Yeah, well, I was never going to be an entrepreneur. That's what I told myself when I was 18. But I had this desire to like do something more with my life. I was kind of thinking maybe mentoring. And I wanted a purpose in addition to kids. I didn't know what that would be. So I was like, well, we'll just go to college, we'll pick the exact right major, we'll get the job, the job will be the purpose, right? Only problem was I didn't like my college major. So changed to something else, hurried myself out, graduated, got married, started having kids. And I'm still going, okay, well, where's this big thing I want to do with my life? Kid number one, have kid number two. I'm still like, okay, God, everybody else seems to have this purpose. Like, where's mine? Have kid number four, have kid number five. And then finally, six months later, I was listening to a podcast, and the host is like, we're gonna take a break from regular programming and I want to tell you about online business. And I'm like, wait, wait, wait, what? I could go like mentor people somehow. I could have this purpose thing without waiting 17 years for this baby to graduate from high school. I can stay home with my kids and do something. Okay, I am all in. Now I just have to figure out what do I do really well that other people might need help with? I'm like, all right, well, I never feel like I'm busy. And the other moms I talk to have two kids and their kids are in school, and I'm homeschooling mine, and they feel fressed. Okay, so maybe I'm too close to what I'm doing. Maybe I'm actually a bit of a unicorn. Maybe I could help. So I went down the online business rabbit hole.

SPEAKER_01 4:18

And it is a rabbit hole, isn't it? Isn't it? But I love, I love how you stated that and reframed because I think that that is such a good lesson for so many people, um, women particularly, but so many people, to think about what you are currently good at. And sometimes it takes that aha of, oh, I didn't even know that I was doing this because it comes so naturally. So it sounds like that whole time management piece, organization, strategy piece of things was just something for you that was like, oh, well, I'm just doing it, right? I'm just doing it. So what's so special about that? But then noticing other people are struggling and not just doing it, right? So what a great lesson for people as they are becoming entrepreneurs or maybe thinking about it themselves is just think about what in life comes naturally and then help other people with that.

SPEAKER_02 5:20

Yes, because maybe you're like me and you're like, well, sure. I'm some people have sure some people have a problem with this, but in five years, they'll probably be really great at it. Well, not necessarily. You're gifted in something for a reason.

SPEAKER_01 5:32

Yeah. So and you talked about God. I talk about God often too. So God gave you this gift of time management. So let's start there. I definitely want to get into the human design piece of it, but let's say I am someone listening and I have not been blessed with that gift of time management. How, where do I even start? What are some tips? Like, how do you start with people that are coming from this I am frazzled state and bringing them into I've got it all under control?

SPEAKER_02 6:06

The first thing I want them to do is get rid of the should machine because productivity advice is always on like you should do more, you should get more efficient, get more disciplined, like you should, should, should, do all this stuff now. It's a whole bunch more load on your plate. So the way to unfreshle a mom is to give her self-care and hobby time and quality time with her family, which means we got to get stuff off of your plate. And I have a system for that. We go through scheduling, mindset, and delegation, because if we don't schedule in your self-care time, you're gonna always say you're too busy, it's not gonna happen. If we don't schedule in your to-dos and put only a reasonable number on today, you're gonna constantly say, Well, there's whole, you know, five other things I need to do before I sit down. And then if we don't schedule time blocks in your day for you to get to each and every single thing, you will run out and say, Well, I just need more than 24 hours. Again, very common problem. So I could create you this wonderful schedule with everything in it, but that's when we have to move to the mindset piece. Because if you don't feel worthy of saying, I get to put time in my schedule for myself, I get to stop when the to-do list is not fully crossed off, I get to say, I'm human, I am finite, I need help because all these things have to happen, and I've run out of time and I want more than six hours of sleep. Like you'll never let yourself expand and bring on team in your business or bring on help in your household, even if it's just asking your husband or kids to do something right. So we have to kind of bring awareness and rewiring into some of that. Because it's never just if you knew the right thing to do, you would do it. You would have already done it. That's why there's some fine trash going on we need to get rid of. And then the last piece of delegation, I don't care how centered and zen and whatever you are, there is going to be too much on your plate if you have a lot of hobbies or a lot of kids or a lot of side hustles. Like if you hold a lot of roles in your life, I guarantee there will be too much for you to do. And then that goes double if you're dealing with any neurodiversity, caretaking, health issues, that sort of stuff. So we need all three of those pieces. But fundamentally, what I want to do is get things off of your plate, delete, and subtract, not tell you, great, you need to learn how to be type A and force yourself into this box you were never meant to get fit into.

SPEAKER_01 8:34

Yeah, I love that. And so many good nuggets in there that I was frantically taking some notes. So I want to go back and kind of revisit some of the things that you said, Alyssa. The first thing that I do want people to hear loud and clear was one of the first things that you said was get rid of the should. Like, get rid of the should. I love that I started on my sheet of paper when when you said that. So I do want the audience to so do you to hear that? So do you have some suggestions about how they do that? Because it's a nice sentiment, right? And we hear that a lot. Like, stop shoulding on yourself, like get rid of that should. How do you coach the people that you work with or the women that you work with? Like, how do I do that? Because I want to do that. How do I do that?

SPEAKER_02 9:25

Yes. Well, here's like our practical exercise. Think of your daily routine. Now think of a top annoyance or something that really bugs you. Maybe it's no one ever picks up after the meal. So you've got to wipe down the counters and the table, load the dishwasher, rinse the sink, put away leftovers, figure out a place in the fridge to put them, you know, all this stuff. Maybe it's something else. So find your top annoying spot and then make it lighter. Turn it into something you actually don't mind going through about your day because you've been living under a should. I should do all these things, or I should not bother the other family members in my house to help me, right? I should not care so much that they don't pick up. I should be the mature, selfless serving person here. No, no, no. Why don't you fix that? Why don't you make yourself happier? Why don't you take the side route, you know, instead of saying I need to get more mature, I need to be more selfless, I should be a better Christian, and say, no, other people can help pull the load. Other people can come alongside of me. Or maybe I don't actually have to do that. Did I already wipe down the counters and I don't need to do it three times a day? Like fix something about the trouble spots of the day instead of coming up with this grand plan of how to fix everything, including yourself.

SPEAKER_01 10:39

I love that. And I think what I also heard you say in that, Alyssa, is the first step might even be like noticing or naming those things that annoy you and claim that, that, and then understand that you are putting that should word in there. So we need to notice those things. We need to take note of that. And so, you know, maybe it's something that during the day, because maybe I don't even know what where I'm shoulding on myself, um, that I just take some notes throughout the day. And when I notice myself saying that, that I write that down, and then I've got that list of, oh, here's where then that I can make that mindset shift or that have a reframe about that. Yeah, use your negative emotions, the ones you're trying to pretend aren't there, to pinpoint where the shoulds are. Gotcha. So that was the first thing that I wrote on that. You said the second thing, um, and then we'll get to this schedule mindset and delegation because I want to delve into each of those pieces a little bit as well. But you said self-care. Like if I have kids and I'm running a business and I'm running the household and I'm doing all those things, I know what that word means, or I think that I should know what that word means. But how do I know what feels good to me for self-care? How do I how do I even get to that space where I know what I should be doing?

SPEAKER_02 12:03

Well, let's ditch the word self-care because it's overly trendy, overly fluffy, not nearly specific enough. Let's call it filling your own cup. Does that mean you need silence and solitude away from little people and noise? Does that mean you need time to do hobbies because you have a ton of things you love doing? If you can just kind of lose time crafting and knitting and sewing or gardening or hiking or cuddling with your dog, like what would go in there that you would be like, if I spent an hour or two hours doing this thing, I would come away energized. That's really what I mean by self-care.

SPEAKER_01 12:40

Oh, that's helpful. Because I think you're right. That that word is kind of this buzzword, and we think that we all should know what it means. And that sometimes can be scary if we don't know what that means. And I that kind of get delves into some of the things that I talk about with my clients as well is what brings you joy, what makes you happy, what what fills your cup, what makes you feel content, what makes you feel like you can breathe, regulates your nervous system, whatever that is. So I love that. Instead of, I mean, we can say self-care if we know what that means, right? So I love that you were able to define that. Um, okay, let's get into each of those three things. So you first talked about schedule, right? So as you said, schedule, mindset, delegation. So can you give us some more kind of specifics about what goes into each of those three pieces of your system? Sure.

SPEAKER_02 13:33

So scheduling, think of it this way. If you hold a bunch of different roles during the day, what I'm suggesting is you have time buckets to put them all into, because it is crazy making if you are like, well, I need to take care of the pets and the children and the house and the husband and the clients, and I should be a good sister and I should text my mother and something, something, something. Right? Now you have way too many things you're multitasking with at once, and the moment one thing comes up from one sphere, it is this urgent fire to get to. Whether it's the inbox fire or the kid yanking on your arm, or you know what dog needs to go out. So instead, why don't you say, here is the, you know, time with God part of the day, here is the catch up with husband part of the day, here is family time. Family time is not short time, it is like quality time. Here is when I'm gonna do whatever house cleaning or food prep I have not already handed off. Here is when I will talk to clients. We should just eliminate this whole distraction and context switching fatigue altogether. Because then you're not saying I don't have time for you to the kid who's yanking on your arm. You're saying, honey, this is mommy's work time. Remember, I'm done in 40 minutes. I'm gonna talk to you or play crazy needs with you or whatever it is that and you were okay for 40 minutes because you know there's no reason why they're you know blinding insight about some stuffed animal story can't wait till then, right?

SPEAKER_01 14:55

Right. I also the other thing that I just heard you say, and I want to make sure that everyone caught that and also understands what you mean. You said context shifting. So what does that? I mean, what what does that mean?

SPEAKER_02 15:07

The decision fatigue, the mental loss your brain has when you're constantly trying to swap. You know, you're at a certain place with the copy on your sales page, the kid asks you this, you're like, wait, wait, what is for supper? And you have to try to pull up that file in your brain, figure out what it was, if it still is happening because you thought of the right ingredients. And then somehow you're supposed to go straight back into sales copy mode. Yeah, you lost a lot of time.

SPEAKER_01 15:29

So it's a little bit like you don't want us to, you want us to play one role at a time, but you don't want us to kind of multitask, right? Even though we feel like we're really good at multitasking. That I mean, the research shows that we're really not, right? And it does take us a long time to get back into things that we were doing. I talk about that a lot, even in a work role that you want to be doing. If you're doing sales copy, do your sales copy. Don't be doing something else in the same, even in that same role. So we need to be better at single task.

unknown 16:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:04

That's how you get them closer to multitasking.

SPEAKER_02 16:06

That's so enjoyable. Kid interruptions usually make you want to fly off the handle. So, like, let's reduce the emotional drain. And again, give you a chance to be like, yay, I was knocking at so many client boxers. Yay, I got this far on the CS page, yay, all the cannabis graphics look great. Like, let yourself have that achievement accomplishment that happens only when you can be head down saying, I got this done, it was great.

SPEAKER_01 16:32

And that could be the same as I got the dishes done, or I got the beds made, or the pet got fed, or got to the vet, or you know, so in those pieces. So another thing about scheduling, do you have um, and I also want to just note, I love that you said celebrate the wins, right? So as you are going through the schedule, let's make sure we celebrate the things because we don't often give ourselves credit for getting those things done because we should be getting them done, right? So, but let's celebrate those wins as well. Um, do you also have or suggestions for like calendaring pieces? Because it sounds like the schedule can kind of fit into some of those calendaring pieces. Are there things that you um find that work well or is that an individual thing?

SPEAKER_02 17:19

Well, it's fairly individual because I think people tend to have strong preferences if they're paper digital or they have to work or the blend. But the one thing I tell all of my clients is make sure you have margin time because you may think it will take precisely this amount of time to get done, or in the average day or the good day, but reality is stuff takes longer. Suddenly you have a sick pet, suddenly your kid is sent home from school. Like you need to be able to handle it. It's not so much that you don't know how to set up a good schedule, it's that you're not accounting for the life's curveball part. So always build in margin time, whether it's just a few minutes extra on every daily task or a whole block, like an hour at the end of your workday that you can run into. Therefore, there's no more of this. Sorry, everyone supper is late because I had to deal with this, or in your week. So not something that you have to work Saturday and Sunday to catch up because of all the weekly stuff, but no, no, no, this is your overflow time, not on the weekend to handle everything so you can kind of close down and enjoy family time. So margin task we daily, weekly, that's essential.

SPEAKER_01 18:22

Love it. I love it. That is one thing I'm gonna star in my piece of paper as well, because I'm not very good at that. So building in the margins, that is that is great. Let's move to that mindset piece. So one thing that I think that I heard you said, and I just want to make sure that I heard it correctly. Did you say mind trash? Yes. Okay, I love it, I love it, but let's make sure that. So when you talk about mind trash, what is that? What is that definition?

SPEAKER_02 18:49

Anything that's holding you back. Like you would like to be the identity perhaps of the person who could hire a housekeeper and not feel like you have to immediately apologize for the state of your house, that you felt like you could just be like, I'm so glad I have the money to hand her the check every week and this is off my plate, and I don't ever have to worry about it. But what's the gap between that reality and her showing up on your doorstep and you being in, oh, I'm so sorry, it was terrible and two when the kids have the flu. We just kind of left things in the no. That in between is the mindset trash. What is going on? And now this can be money mindset, it could be worthiness, it could be marriage roles, it could be cultural parenting expectations, but there's all kinds of things, and usually the best way to find it is when you notice yourself kind of tensing up, apologizing, overexplaining, just feeling really uncomfortable with the situation? Something like that, because again, I can hand you all of the delegation lists for what you can get rid of home and business, but how many of you are actually going to say, oh yay, and throw all that stuff out the window and then happily move on with your deep work and your clients and hobbies? Not very many people if they haven't done the self-work. So this meets you wherever you're at. If you have done decades of, you know, self-improvement and you're decades into your walk with God and you know all kinds of childhood parts work and intertron, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You may not need very much of this. If this is the first time you've encountered that, we're gonna hit this block probably repeated times for every single new space in your calendar we're trying to open up because there's so much you've crammed into your life through your calendar.

SPEAKER_01 20:33

Right, what what a smart um thing to think about because I do think, and I'm just using myself as an example, I could see going right from the schedule, right, skipping over the mindset piece and going right to the delegation because that makes logical sense for me. Okay, I have this on the schedule. Now what can I delegate? Right? But you're saying that no, stop, stop, and take the time to do the mindset, do the inner work, do that work first, so that when we move to that delegation space, that that is actually gonna be sustainable. Did I hear that right? So because if I move right from scheduling to delegation, I might, I might even do it. I might not, but I might do it, but it's not gonna be sustainable because I haven't done the work in order to be able to let go of the task that I'm delegating.

SPEAKER_02 21:30

Exactly. You don't want a time makeover that's like the style makeovers on the old TV shows where they got the whole new wonderful thing for the person and two months later they're right back in their old, you know, front piece foots.

SPEAKER_01 21:40

Right, right, right, right. Okay, so when we get to the delegation piece, so we do the work, and I'm and I'm assuming that when you work with clients, Alyssa, that you are working through each of these three steps wherever somebody comes. Just like you said, some there might be people that have already done a lot of that inner work, and so that that piece can just be a uh Stop over, kind of on the way to delegation. And sometimes you're gonna work really hard at this mindset piece before we get to delegation. Once we get to delegation, like how do you work through like what do I delegate? What don't I delegate? How do I know what to give up and what I really should be doing? Should not the right word. What what tasks stay on my schedule and what tasks go on somebody else's schedule?

SPEAKER_02 22:24

Yeah. Well, fundamentally, if it's something that practically anybody, baseline level, could learn. So around the house, that means anybody who could, you know, like it doesn't take much skill to clean a bathroom. Now, a five-year-old isn't going to be clean the bathroom safely or responsibly. So not that, but 10-year-olds, sure, there's nothing really they can't do. And then in so house kitchen stuff, it's really as soon as they're responsible with around knives, and you'll know which kids are and which kids aren't. And then business-wise, any random like VA outsourceable task, or yes, but I could hire a contractor to do this. So again, if it's not in your zone of genius, if you're familiar with that, then it can be hired out. Yes, you might have to hold on to some of the zone of excellence stuff for a while until you build up your team. Maybe you don't want your team built up that much. But if you could have someone do it pretty easily, more like saying, here's my SOP for going on Kit and scheduling my newsletters. Oh, well, we do it preferred in Flowdesk. Well, uh, you can do it in Kit. Here's the SOP. You know, it doesn't take much. If you have a client check-in system that actually, when you write it down for yourself, turns out to be, well, every Monday morning at 10 a.m., I drop in a message checking up on them how their weekend was. But it typically is one of these three things. Why don't you list that in there and tell your client concierge person, I want you to rotate through these three messages. Message every client who's in our database for this offer. Okay, that wasn't that hard to outsource. But as business owners, we keep holding on to things that are like, it won't take us that long to do. But I want you to think about if this is not part of your core job as CEO and you know coach or whatever your specialty is, you should be offsplitting that. You should be letting your team grow and take on more. And then on the house side, if a 10-year-old can do something for you, you should be letting them. Don't be the mom who says, yeah, don't do so little to do their own laundry. None of the other moms I know have them doing laundry at 10. Well, I don't care if they can reach all the buttons. Shouldn't they learn how to do their own stuff? Won't it relieve some of the friction if you're like, how did you possibly run through that many clothes? I'm so sick of doing this for you. No. You tell them, do this before you run out of stuff in your dresser and let the real old consequences take over, right? And then yes, for like cooking in the kitchen, well, as soon as they're eating they can handle burners safely. And again, I bet they can at 10. Sharp knives, I bet they can at 10. And blunders, no, grabbing. Okay, sure. They're not gonna drive out and pick up any groceries for you, but who cares? That's a whole like teen, almost adult thing. So you can hand out almost all of your food prep, almost all of your cleaning, almost all of the laundry, dishes stuff, to your kids if you're like, well, I don't have a budget for a housekeeper. As long as they are school age enough, they can help you with quite a bit. And then school age just, you know, a few grades in, they can do practically everything you want. Whether that means programming the bread machine because you bake bread at home, or please pre-chop stir-fried veggies for me so I can throw it all in the pan. An eight-year-old can use a table knife and chop a lot of veggies for you, even if you're like, no, you're not handling stove burners yet. I've got to really carefully world, they might be handling stove burners. Like it's yes, there is flux room for your comfort level, but there is so much more you can offload than you are currently thinking. And then that frees up quite a few hours when we look at it on a weekly level of I don't have, I didn't have to do the laundry today, I didn't have to make granola today, I didn't have to make mac and cheese today because my 12-year-old loves to make mac and cheese. You know, it adds up really fast.

SPEAKER_01 26:05

And my gut, Alyssa, is that you are saying, okay, with these hours that I freed up, that is not to maybe do more stuff, but perhaps that is where we put in that whole self-care.

SPEAKER_02 26:21

Exactly. You probably need a lot more self-care than you're thinking, aka filling your own cup stuff. And the perennial complaint of, well, I'm not spending enough time with my kids and they're growing up too quickly, and I need to spend more time with my husband to build our marriage so that it's not just like sustaining. Yeah, this is where it all goes. And then sure, if you're like, well, I feel like I'd like to take on another couple of clients, absolutely. Put that in there. But again, the first thing we don't want to go to is more shoulds of now I can fit in bar. It's no, no, what are your desires? If you desire to grow your business another 100K, then client stuff may be at the top of your list is more time for marketing. But whatever those desires are, that is where this will fit in. It could be I want to get pregnant and have another baby, but I need time to take all those naps on the sofa and be throwing up sick in the bathroom.

SPEAKER_01 27:07

Right. I I love that. And what um, you know, on the on the outset, I know the work is not as challenging to get there, but it seems like such a clear system from going from scheduling to doing that mindset work to doing the to doing the delegation. So I like the way that it just is like, oh, okay. I feel like that could be manageable. Again, I know that there's lots of work that goes into each of those steps, and that's what you do working with your clients. But what a, what a what a great way to to frame that. And I also think um that sometimes we just think time management, oh, it's just putting things on the calendar, but that's that's just the first part, right? Like that is just the first piece. We need to do all these other things so that it does, so that it is sustainable. So thank you for thank you for walking us through that. I also am super curious about the whole human design thing that you that thing, the human design piece of the work that you that you do. So, one, how did you get into human design? Two, how does it integrate with the and with with with the work that you're doing?

SPEAKER_02 28:19

Yeah, well, how I got into it was my first business coach was a human design business coach. I was like, what in the world is this thing? But sure, I'll take anything that promises customization and personalization to your own strengths and abilities. I kind of didn't do too much with that for a year or two, but then my researching gene came to the fore. I was like, okay, never mind. I've got to go figure this out because I don't understand it very well. I'm not working with her anymore. So she's not there to tell me something like I just need to learn this. And I was like, I wonder if I could use it with my kids to understand them better with the homeschooling process and tailor what I'm suggesting to them just to remove some of that, again, interpersonal friction of, well, mommy said you had to do this. Well, is that actually the way they're meant to study? Because I was noticing some huge changes with some of the kids and the high schoolers. And I was like, okay, well, parents are always telling their kids to do it the way they learned how to do it, but sometimes your kid is different. Whatever. So I started learning this for myself, got really in the weeds, started seeing several breakthroughs, both personally and family. And then I was like, if this can help that much, client and business relationships, those are just another set of relationships. Surely it has an application there. And of course, when we know it, it does. I mean, it affects time and productivity and work styles. Like, oh, okay. So I revamped everything. Like, you know, we were keeping on the core programs, but we have to put this in everything now because now I don't have to sit around saying, well, I don't know. Some people are really right-brained, and some people are really left brain, and some people only think they're the one way and they're really trying to avoid it. Now I can go look at your chart and say, um, this is the way you're supposed to be. And if you don't feel like that alliance, now we need to have one of those mindset conversations right off the bat.

SPEAKER_01 30:10

Right. Well, and for those that for those listening, I mean, I'm fairly familiar, at least with the concept of human design. Can you even just give a brief like overview of what, I mean, what is human design and how might someone um one way how might someone start learning? Um, or if if you have some resources um about that, but even give us that the definition of what human design is.

SPEAKER_02 30:33

Yeah, human design is a fancy, weird system. I kind of ignore a lot of the startup elements because some people say it's pretty close to astrology. I'm like, okay, it's Christian, I'm not touching that. So I'm just considering it a really, really customizable personality type thing, because it's, I don't know what the permutations are, if it's tens of thousands or if it's hundreds of thousands of different combinations you could end up with. And it's really good about saying you have these strengths and you have these weaknesses, especially if you wrap in gene keys. What are the mental trash things that you tend to come in? And as a Christian, you can almost be like, oh, so here are the ways I tend to doubt and control and not lean on sovereignty. And it actually goes pretty well. So think of it as like Ennegram on ridiculous steroids, maybe, because it will tell you where you are in a self-development way, as well as a how you're meant to move through the world way. And it has some pretty neat things of types and profiles. So types are like manifestor, um, projector, and generator. So again, these may all sound very woo-woo and stuff, like rename them whatever you want in your head and just kind of I'm using the more the what's the fruit versus what's the weird name. So if the fruit is I really understand how I operate, move through the world, and I believe God created me this way, oh sure, I'll use the productivity system or the personality system. Um so I don't really get into teaching people how to use it so much, but if you type in free human design chart online, you'll probably come up with a whole bunch of things. And if you're interested, just try that, look around a bit. It usually takes a fair amount of time for it to click with someone before they're like, okay, yes, I think I will go and research or I will pay a teacher to get a reading explaining the way I work, something like that, because there's so much to master in that system. It does tend to take people a few years. And again, I'm not a believer in saying, well, everyone needs to spend a few years studying this. Nah, just if you're that interested, talk to someone who's been down that path already and can give you the shortcut. And if you're not interested, then skip it entirely because again, it takes so long to master. So I just like to call it a really, really complex personality system that is very, very accurate, like scarily accurate, that will then help you get out of the boxes that people have put you in. For example, I'm a manifestor. Manifestors don't have energy to work for eight hours a day. I didn't know that about myself till a few years ago, but I had somehow designed this whole system that meant at one o'clock every day I could go kick back and have some me time because I was just like, I don't know, after 12, I'm just like, I can't imagine having a regular job. Well, wouldn't it have been easier if I had known that from the beginning, that as a mother, I was not going to make it the entire day because I was one of the non-energy types. And that as a manifesto, I was 9% of the population. So yes, you could say, I'm weird, right? Most productivity advice is for the, I think they said it's 70% of the population does have energy. So if you think of it, if 70% of the people are meant to work for eight hours a day and be plugged in and on and energized, well duh, that's why so much of our workforce is set up that way and your expectations as a parent. And when we talk about the second shift, well, that's just the first shift, right? For the other 30% of us who can't handle that, no wonder we feel like we're constantly on the edge of burnout or rushed or stressed or drained, or like we're getting special treatment if we let ourselves take off earlier. But if you look at the human design system, it would say that is what you were meant to do. You were going into burnout, which is very bad, as we all know, if you try to push yourself to eight hours. It's like that kind of a ha moment for every separate part of your human design chart where you realize this isn't some, hi, I'm a this on the Myers Briggs. Like it has actual practical implications for how you're functioning in your daily life. And what works for someone else may have you may have a very good reason why it cannot work for you. Not in a there are all kinds of truth, no, in a this is the reason why I can't do that and why you can't. Therefore, I cannot make blanket statements that all mothers should, you know, play with their kids all day and take care of everything till 8 p.m. when they put them to bed, because that will not work for 30% of the population. But you're gonna have to know your client, if you're a parenting coach, to know if you can tell her that. Like to know if there's some part of her mindset she needs to get in alignment with, I don't know, I'm just feeling grumpy at them, or if it's no, she didn't. She tapped out hours ago. Don't tell her to do that. Find something that the kids can go do on their own, you know, half a day, or swap over to playing with your husband or playing at grandma because you already ran out. It's that kind of personalization.

SPEAKER_01 35:44

Yeah, I love that. And I, well, one, I love that you said it's kind of like the Enneagram on steroids, which is true. And there is so much to it, but everything that I when I take the time to delve in a little bit, I yes, it it gives you so many personalized insights for all pieces of your of your life, right? For for your relationships or for work or whatever that, whatever that might be. So yes, I do encourage people as well to um to start to dig if they're if they're at all interested. And even even the highlights give you a little bit. I mean, even if you just know that you're a generator, I happen to be a manifesting generator. So, um, but even though it's like a random, even though the high level, like just things, and you're right, you can call it whatever you want to label it. Um, but even that like gives you a little bit of insight into you're like, oh, okay, that is that is who I am. That is why. And it's okay. It's not an excuse, I found, but it, but it gives you that, like, oh, I just, yes, and there are other people like me, maybe not in my family, but there are other people that are also like me. So it is, you know, it's it's okay. And then, and then to be able to design your life to be able to schedule, do that mindset, be able to do that delegation around those gifts that God has given you.

SPEAKER_02 37:04

Yeah, because some mothers then are going to need to delegate a lot because they run out of energy. Some mothers, the answer is, you know, as a manifesting generator, you probably know. Well, as long as it's lighting them up, they can keep doing it. So if you love cooking with your kids, I don't care if you could have someone else do it, you want to keep doing it. So, what can we bring more of into your life that's like that? And what about in the business? If you're like, I need to sit down and do content every morning at 8 a.m., if you have a certain arrow facing in a certain direction, that will never work for you. And you should always ignore that part of your productivity advice. But some people with a left arrow in a certain direction, that is exactly what they need to do. And if they're trying to weasel out of that, we need to have a sit-down conversation.

SPEAKER_01 37:46

Yeah, absolutely. And so both as an individual, but then as a coach, then you can because then you better understand your clients as well, right? So that it's you're not just coaching from your perspective. Although I think that most coaches try to coach from the perspective of their client, but this then gives you that added layer of information so that it's so much easier rather than trying just to guess if you know that about your client, then it can be. Well, try out this schedule and we'll see if it works for you or not. No, skip all that.

unknown 38:19

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 38:19

We already got that. We already got that. And then the and then you can have better dialogue and better conversations with your clients as well.

SPEAKER_02 38:25

Yes. Saying, oh, I noticed you have an open center in the route. You probably get stressed out a lot. Do you want to tell me what part of your schedule as an entrepreneur is really feeling stressful? And what can we put in place? That's when this framework of scheduling mindset delegation that will start taking away that pressure for you. So that is really, really important.

SPEAKER_01 38:45

Yes, absolutely. Oh my goodness, this is so informative. And I for those of you who are listening too, I hope that as you have been, you know, if you're driving the car, you weren't taking notes, hopefully. Um, but you might need to listen again because I think that, Alyssa, that you've given us a lot of good things to think about in terms of how can we feel like we're taking back some of that time, not to do more, but to do less or to do some more things that bring us joy. So whether that be in your schedule or or getting those hours out of the day or out of the week, where we've got now these time blocks because we have delegated, because we and the delegation is sustainable because we have gone through the work that we needed to go through. And now we can say, Oh, I did want to learn how to play the guitar or I did want to learn how to take a bath and shut everybody else out and do this for the these two hours or whatever that might be. So to reclaim some of that, to fill our own cup so that we can continue to, you know, help run our lives and fill those of others. So is there anything else as we're kind of drawing um to an end here? Is there anything else, Alyssa, that you want to leave the listeners with? Any tips or just any last piece of parting advice around either human design or or the um the time management piece of things?

SPEAKER_02 40:18

I think for human design, what I'd say is like don't let it overwhelm you. Just find like someone's podcast, maybe that you really resonate with their teaching style. And then if they offer readings, try getting a reading or a course from them. There's no need to walk through and try to study it all on your own when they're nowadays, there's so many gifted human design teachers out there. So let them shortcut it for you. That's part of being efficient as a business owner or a mother, is realizing when you should go to someone else and pay them a little bit of your money or your time to save a ridiculous quantity of time for yourself. So no shame in shortcuts. Like use that. It's no different than getting a contractor or a coach or a consultant, right? Use their expertise to give yourself an aha moment in your daily life. I'm a big believer in that.

SPEAKER_01 41:12

I love that. Uh well, I have really, really appreciated you spending the time with us today, Alyssa. I appreciate you um being willing to share your gifts with us. And I do believe that people are gonna get a whole bunch out of what you shared today if they are listening and if they are raising their hand saying, I am one of those frazzled moms right now and I need some help. How do people get a hold of you?

SPEAKER_02 41:42

You can go to yourunbusylife.com. We've got free trainings, free productivity audits. But also, if you're ready to clear your two-full plate as an entrepreneur mom, I'm gonna break down how to get those three hours back for yourself and your business every single day. Because being honest, I don't think reclaiming one hour for filling your own cup is gonna cut it. I'm homeschooling, running a business, like no, no, I need more like three to decompress and then do something for fun. So, what I've found is there's no need to flirt with burnout to hold both your high achiever and your present mom roles. So instead, here's a time back secrets audio feed. And if you press play on that, I'm gonna help you banish the pressure on your to-do list.

SPEAKER_01 42:27

I love that. Thank you so much for offering that. I will put all of that in the show notes as well so that just click through those show notes and again, don't spend your time being frazzled. Just use Alyssa, use that shortcut and use the tools that she has already created. Um, use those free tools and then work with Alyssa as well. Again, all of that information will be in the show notes. So, once again, thank you, Alyssa, for being with us. Thank you for sharing your gifts. And to our listeners, remember I am Rachel, and from my heart to yours, I am celebrating you today and every day.

SPEAKER_00 43:07

So have fun, live well, enjoy it.