🎙️ Episode 1: Healing the Mother Wound | Empowered You Podcast with Jill Ripley

In this powerful debut episode of the Empowered You podcast, author and trauma survivor Jill Ripley explores the deep and often unspoken impact of the mother wound — the emotional pain and patterns we carry when our needs for maternal love, safety, and connection go unmet.

Through raw storytelling and real-life experience, Jill shares her own journey as both a daughter and a mother, and how healing generational trauma helped her reclaim her voice, her worth, and her power.

You’ll learn:

What the mother wound is and how it shows up in everyday life

Signs you may be carrying unresolved maternal trauma

How Carl Jung’s mother archetype can help guide the healing process

Practical steps for re-parenting your inner child, working with shadow, and cultivating self-love

Why it’s never too late to rewrite your story — for yourself and future generations

This episode is a heartfelt invitation to witness your wounds without shame, reconnect with your inner wisdom, and step into the empowered version of you.

💛 You are not broken — you’re becoming whole.

Transcript

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Hey there beautiful souls and welcome to the pilot episode of Empowered You, podcast where we talk all things healing, growth and turning pain into power. I'm your host Jill Ripley and it's my intention to use my own personal experience to help you or someone you love open to the idea of letting go of past pain and using it as a springboard for personal growth. Much of what I'll be sharing here is inspired by the journey I wrote about in my book, Empowered by the Storm, Releasing the Past, and Embracing the Light. If anything I talk about today resonates with you, I invite you to check it out. It's available on Amazon or through my website, empoweredbythestorm.com. And just to give you a little context into why I may have something to offer, I wanted to share a bit about my history. Not to have you feel sorry for me, but to give you an idea of where I'm coming from. So if you'll indulge me for a few minutes while I give you a little recap of my past, it'll help you to understand why I've started this endeavor. My personal backstory, it starts with my mother. She became a mom at 16 and my dad was probably seven years older than her at the time, six or seven years older than her. And she had my brother, David, who he died at five months old due to crib death. And of course, you know, my mom had a lot of guilt and shame because they were co-sleeping at the time that it happened. So I'm sure she was very distraught at that point. And my father asked my aunt, his sister, you know, what could he do to help her feel better? So she suggested they try for another baby. So they did. They had my brother Jimmy just nine months later. My brother David died in December and Jimmy was born in September. So not a long time to grieve. So I imagine she was going through a lot of emotions at that time. And then the next year she had my brother, Michael, who was, he was sickly. And the year after that, they found out that my father's, he had brain cancer. So it was a result of a childhood injury. And so it came, you know, it came back. So, and then she got pregnant with me. So in five years, she had four pregnancies and lost a child, had one that was sick, and then had the prospect of losing her husband due to brain cancer. So I imagine my mother was going through a lot. She had a lot of emotions and she just couldn't take it. So she left. So my mom left when I was two. My dad succumbed to his brain cancer when I was three. My brother, Michael,

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who

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was sickly, he died of a lung disorder at age four. So my grandmother was left to raise me and my brother, Jimmy. It was tough for her. She was in her 60s at a time when she should have been retiring. And of course, I, as a young kid, went through a lot of outbursts and I did a lot of things that an emotionally traumatized teen would do. So I did a lot of things. I smoke, I drank, I used to steal, I got into fights, I skipped school. I did a lot of unsavory things. I tell people that I was the kid your mother wouldn't let you hang out with. And that's true. I did have somebody's mother say, you can't hang out with her. So, you know, I come from a very colorful background. My grandmother, God bless her soul, she died when I was 14. And my family moved me from the city that I grew up in. I grew up in Lowell, moved me from Lowell to live with some distant relatives. I think they thought that it was better that I not stay in the environment that I was in. So I went to live with some cousins on the Cape of Massachusetts, and it didn't really work out. So I ended up in foster care. At age 16, I became a mother myself. My foster mother, she tried to encourage me to give my child up for adoption. But because of the fact that my mother left me, there was no way in hell that I was going to give up my child. So, you know, of course, being 16 years old, how do you support a child? And I was just a child myself. So I was on public assistance for probably about five years. It was a challenge to work myself off of that, but I did that. In my early 20s, I met the man that was to become my husband. He was a great dad to my son, and he was just wonderful. We got along great, but we both loved to party. He was a very funny guy. He had a great sense of humor. He was very, very kind. I loved him very, very much. And we got married six years later. And then a couple of years after that, we had two daughters together. My daughter, Jamie, was born when I was 30 and my other daughter was born. I was almost 33. There was two and a half years difference between them. But I had with Jamie, I had postpartum depression, which I didn't even know was a thing. I mean, she was nine months old before I figured out that I had postpartum depression. And, you know, that was a shocker for me. But it made perfect sense as to why I was going through all the emotions that I was going through. And then I had prenatal and postpartum depression with my other daughter. So that was a lot to go through at that time. I navigated that with a lot of drinking. It became my go, it was my go-to. My whole life, alcohol became my best friend. It was, you know, the And not that I was terrible. I mean, I was what you would call a functioning alcoholic. I would do whatever I needed to do by day. And by night, I would drink myself into oblivion just to get through everything. And then I realized after a number of years that I really needed to get sober. And I expressed this to my husband at the time. And he was not ready. And so as you can imagine, with one person wanting to be sober and one not, it didn't work out. So we ended up divorced. And then many years after our divorce, my former husband and my youngest daughter died tragically together in a motorcycle accident. So I had that grief to deal with. And also, in my 50s, I also found out that the man that I thought was my father growing up wasn't my biological father. So that was a shock to everybody. Nobody knew. This is a long-winded story to just kind of give you some context about where I'm coming from. I didn't want to go too deep into things, but this is, you know, this is where I've started. So the reason for me telling you all of this is just to give you an idea of, you know, my early experiences of loss, abandonment and confusion. And I've had a lot of confusion around my own identity, you know. So today I want to start where my own personal trauma journey began, and that's with the mother wound. It's touched so many of us, whether we know it or not. This concept was first introduced by the Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung. Jung believed that there was a number of archetypes that govern the human behavior. These are thought to be inherited patterns of behavior that begin in the collective unconscious and play out in the human experience. And the one I want to talk about today is the mother wound. Now, just to clarify, this isn't about blame. It's just about being aware. And awareness is where the healing can come in. So why this matters? The mother wound isn't just personal, it's collective. So Carl Jung's theory of the mother archetype was that a mother should be nurturing, protective, caring, and supportive. But many of us had mothers that were not like that at all. Some examples of unhealthy mothering include smothering and overbearing. Mothers that love in a way that controls, like they don't allow the child to separate or develop their own independence, or they create guilt when the child tries to grow or individuate. Like they say things like, after all I've done for you, it just becomes a weapon for them. So that's one way it comes out. Another way is they're either neglectful or they're absent. They're just emotionally unavailable or they're physically absent. They just don't seem to attune to the child's emotional needs. The child often grows up feeling invisible, unworthy, or like their feelings don't matter. And then there's the overly critical perfectionist type of parent. Nothing the child does is ever good enough. Harsh judgment replaces encouragement. And love feels conditional on performance or behavior. And then there's the boundaryless parent. They use the child for emotional support. It's a parentified child. So the parent confides too much in the child or expects them to fill the role of a partner, a therapist, or a best friend. It robs the child of a normal childhood and a sense of safety. And then there's the self-sacrificing martyr, constantly giving to others but ignores her own needs. And then they may guilt the child for their unhappiness or suffering and saying, after everything I've given up for you, you know? And then there's the victimhood or emotional manipulation. This mother uses guilt or shame or passive-aggressive tactics to get love or obedience. They put the child in a position where they feel responsible for her emotions. And there's the narcissistic, emotionally exploitative parent who uses the child as an extension of her own ego or image. only values the child when they reflect well on her. And then they dismiss the child's experiences, their opinions, or their pain. Now the unhealed mother wound can show up as people pleasing, fear of abandonment, struggling with boundaries, feeling unworthy, and the need to be perfect at everything, and chronic loneliness. These patterns are echoes of unmet childhood needs. Now, we can't change the past, but we can choose to heal. The path is to become the mother we always needed for ourselves and to forgive ourselves for not being the mother we would like to have been for our own children. Without the proper guidance, it's understandable that one would not have the skill set to be the mother our own children needed. So, my story as a mother? I became a mom at 17 while I was in foster care. So my mothering experience is that, you know, while I refused to give up my son due to my own abandonment trauma, I did the best I could and tried to be a good mother. But I struggled, especially after having daughters. Postpartum depression and alcohol dependency left me emotionally exhausted. I made so many mistakes. I yelled all the time. Anytime I... Anytime I was seriously frustrated or aggravated or whatever, I used to yell a lot. And I can only imagine for my poor children, you know, Someone who is supposed to be loving, kind, and understanding is screaming at them at the top of their lungs. And I knew it was wrong. And I tried to fix it. I looked for resources to try to help me move through my anger. I didn't know why I was so angry. And I regret the way that I raised my children. I felt like since my grandmother was so... She was so kind to me, but she was not a disciplinarian at all. I mean, she let me get away with blue-blooded murder. And I thought it was my responsibility to be a strict parent. So I think oftentimes I was very much overbearing. I would yell. I would punish. I mean, I did it all. And, you know, I would... care for my children. I love them. I love them unconditionally, even though I would be angry and mad at them. It never diminished the love I have for my children, but absolutely made my mistakes with them. And I felt like I was doing a good job because I would show up for all their appointments. I would take them to all their lessons. I fed them well. I took them to play dates. I did everything that I felt was necessary. But one thing that I was not giving them was the emotional support that they needed. Now looking back on these things, I wish I had done it differently and I can't change that. And my surviving daughter expressed to me that she thought I was an abusive mother and I would never discount her experience because that was where she came from. So yeah, that's where I came from. I can't change it. I can only go back and see where I made my mistakes. So what we need to do here is name the wound without shame. Don't minimize your pain. Think about things. What did I need the most from my mother and what didn't I receive from her? Put this down in writing, the things that you needed. I needed protection, but I felt unsafe. I needed to be seen, but I felt invisible. Witnessing is the beginning of healing. And then you need to re-parent your inner child. Imagine the mother that you needed. Someone who was kind, steady, nurturing, caring, compassionate. Someone who offered unconditional love. Practice offering these things to yourself. Give yourself affirmations like, I've got you. You're doing your best. It's okay to rest. And then seek out nurturing symbols beyond your own personal mother. Think of examples like the Mother Mary or Mother Teresa, Gaia, any type of mothering, nurturing, compassionate, feminine example that you can uncover. And then you can visualize or write letters from that energy to yourself. Let yourself feel deeply loved. and witness the shadow without fear. Carl Jung said, what we don't make conscious, we repeat. The shadow emotions may rise like anger and grief and shame. Instead of judging, respond with compassion. I see you. It's okay to feel this. I'm here for you. Build nourishing relationships with people who model love, support, and presence in their own lives. Connect with community and help rewire the old patterns of your life. Listen, healing the mother wound is not about perfection. It's about presence, compassion, and courage. You've heard my story and maybe pieces of it echo in your own life or in someone you love. Wherever you are on this journey, I want you to know healing is possible. Growth is possible. Transformation is always available. You're not broken. You're becoming whole. You're not alone. You're part of a generation doing the brave, tender work of turning pain into power. And every step you take, no matter how small, creates ripple effects for generations to come. Be gentle with yourself. Offer yourself the love you always deserved. You are both the one who needed more and the one who can now give more to yourself and to others. If this episode touched your heart, I hope you'll share it with someone who might need this message. And if you like to dive deeper into this kind of healing work, my book Empowered by the Storm is a great next step. You can find it on Amazon or at empoweredbythestorm.com. And until next time, stay grounded, stay loving, and stay empowered.