The Psychology of Sewing: Motivation, Identity and Wellbeing with Dr Claire Ashley

In this episode, Dr Claire Ashley explores the fascinating connection between sewing and mental wellbeing, uncovering the psychology behind why we sew and what keeps us coming back to our machines. 

From motivation and creativity to identity, self-expression, and emotional attachment, to handmade clothes, we delve into the deeper role sewing plays in our lives.

We also discuss common challenges that can affect your sew-jo, including stress, anxiety, burnout, social media comparison, perfectionism, and major life transitions. 

Claire shares practical insights into how understanding the psychology of sewing can help you rediscover your motivation, build a healthier relationship with your hobby, and find greater enjoyment in the creative process.

Whether you've lost your sew-jo, feel overwhelmed by your project pile, or are curious about the mental health benefits of sewing, this episode offers valuable perspectives on how creativity can support wellbeing.

Claire discusses: 

• The concept of sew-jo and factors affecting motivation
• The role of social media and comparison in sewing
• Sewing for an aspirational identity versus practical needs
• Emotional attachment to handmade garments and decluttering challenges
• The influence of life transitions, motherhood, and body changes on sewing habits
• The concept of enclothed cognition and dressing for the desired self
• Dopamine's role in fabric shopping and planning
• Strategies to improve sew-jo through environment and habits
• The psychological benefits of sewing and self-expression

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Instagram: @wiredtomake

Book: The Burnout Doctor 

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Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Claire Ashley and today’s topic - The Psychology of Sewing

01:17 Sew-jo

07:12 Sewing for the life you don’t have

11:43 Decluttering handmade garments and the emotional attachment

17:58 Motherhood and sewing for someone you hope to be rather than who you                are now

21:44 Fabric stashes and why our brains make us create them

Transcript

Gemma Daly (00:11)
Claire, welcome back to the Sewing Social podcast. Today, I wanted to pick your brains about the psychology of sewing and why we create certain habits. So, first of all, let's talk about sew-jo. Now, this is the term that sewists have sort of coined to describe their motivation to sew. What do you think are some of the things that stop us from sitting down at our machine?

Claire Ashley (00:36)
Yeah, so I mean, at the minute, I am definitely going through a low period with my sew-jo And ⁓ it's sad because, you know, I get so much enjoyment out of my hobby. However, you know, I've been sewing for five years now. And so I know that this is a cycle that I quite often go through. And I think that this is true of a lot of people that sew isn't it that your motivation and the enjoyment that you're getting out of it does wax and wane. But from

being a science geek, obviously, I've gone and done a load of reading around it because I literally just can't help myself. And there's some really interesting stuff around the reasons why your sew-jo might be affected from time to time. And so really what

Gemma Daly (01:04)
you

Claire Ashley (01:17)
I think when we're talking about sew-jo it's about your intrinsic motivation to do something, isn't it? And I think it can be incredibly sensitive to a lot of stuff that's going on inside your life. So first of all, and just harking back to the stuff that we talked about around anxiety and burnout is that stress can completely obliterate your intrinsic motivation and your desire to sew So when you're...

resources are being depleted for whatever reason, your creative motivation is one of the first casualties basically, because if you think about the things that you need to get done, you know, when you're going into survival mode, creativity is not a priority for your brain or for your body, right. And so basically, it's just your nervous system is choosing, you know, survival over flourishing, I guess, and all of the things that come towards the top of the Maslow's hierarchy of needs. So your prefrontal cortex, which is the front part of your brain here that

a lot of your executive function and is responsible for your personality. Basically goes offline. So your creative drive, your planning brain, you know, under chronic stress, it really struggles to get going. And so I think quite often when people are feeling stressed, yes, absolutely. Sewing can be something that can help you with that. Like sewing is therapeutic. It's not therapy, ⁓ but it is, is therapeutic. But when you're really stressed and that can kill your sew-jo. I think

Gemma Daly (02:20)
Thank

Claire Ashley (02:41)
There are times certainly when I've definitely got decision fatigue, too many projects on the go, too many patterns, an overwhelming stash. ⁓ At the minute, one of the things that I'm struggling with is that my wardrobe is not very cohesive. So I've been sewing for five years, haven't got rid of a lot of my handmade makes and the things that I've done, I've just done for novelty and enjoyment. And because I've enjoyed the pattern or I've... ⁓

Gemma Daly (03:05)
Hmm.

Claire Ashley (03:09)
something very brightly coloured or with a big bold print but my wardrobe now just doesn't all work together unfortunately and so that feels overwhelming and so what has happened recently is I've started to think about ⁓

when I'm starting to plan my makes, I'm really thinking about the outcomes and I'm going, am I actually going to wear this? And because I'm putting that outcome onto the process, I'm just not getting started and it's killing my sew-jo because I...

⁓ I'm really worried and I'm overthinking about the fact that I may or may not wear this and so that also can have a doubt you know when it comes to the psychology of sewing like if you're sewing for an outcome and you're worried about that outcome whether it's you know advancing your skills or sewing something specific for an occasion or whatever that also can detract from your enjoyment and that can stop you from getting started when it comes to your sew-jo too

And I think there's something else around, I think social media, maybe killing Sojo sometimes because it's so easy to fall into the comparison trap when you're online and you're looking at all these people that are churning out so many makes and you think, how are they doing this? And what's wrong? Why can't I keep up? But it's so hard to forget that, know, Instagram in particular is a highlights reel. People are only showing the good stuff.

They're not necessarily showing the struggles, although some people do, obviously. And I think sometimes I did get a comment recently where someone was like, how do you make so much? And I was like, actually, don't. Like the last month, I think I made maybe one thing. I've really fallen off the bandwagon recently, but it's just because I'm talking about it.

Gemma Daly (04:40)
you

Claire Ashley (04:53)
people might assume that I'm making a lot and that's not necessarily the case. So I think, and I'm trying very hard to not, hopefully, you know, I don't want my page to be something where people fall onto it and then feel bad about their own productivity. So I think there's a whole load of factors that directly affect your sew-jo. I think it's normal.

I think it's important that we don't over pathologize it and go, well, it's something really wrong and you've got to deal with it. I think it is just part of the universal experience of sewing. And so there might be some things that you might want to do to get your sew-jo back. And certainly when it comes to like one of the things I was talking about there is when you're putting, you're doing it for an outcome and then getting, and you're finding that putting that pressure on is affecting your sew-jo, then that's absolutely something that you can do. That's within your control to alter.

Gemma Daly (05:14)
Mm-hmm.

Claire Ashley (05:41)
But if it's something else, like you're feeling really stressed and overwhelmed, actually it might be that you just need to take a step back and think, actually, I just need to concentrate on managing the stresses in my life right now. And that's where all my energy goes. And I'll come back to sewing at a time when I feel like I have the capacity to do so. So I think, yeah, how you handle that, I think very much depends on the reasons why you're feeling a bit about your hobby, you know?

Gemma Daly (06:05)
Yeah, and like you say, it is really

normal. But you know, your motivation for everything really can go up and down, can't it? And, you know, if you've got lots of stressors going on, you're likely not going to have the time for sewing because it isn't just that simple, is it? There is an element of planning that's needed with sewing. So it does take a bit of brain capacity.

Claire Ashley (06:12)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Yeah, it does.

And also just coming back to the intrinsic motivation thing I don't know you've read atomic habits but James Clear talks about how actually intrinsic motivation in and of itself is just not sufficient to get you going ⁓ And so actually it's more about creating environments and habits where you're more likely to do the thing that you want to do right? So when it comes to sewjo I guess it's about those, you know, carving out time in your diary and saying I'm gonna sit down at this time and I'm going to do it making sure that you're the environment in which you're

allows you to do that, you know, keeping your sewing room clean and tidy and everything in its right place. And you see when it comes to planning, making sure that you've got all of the stuff ready so that you can get going on your project. So little things like that I think sometimes can help you to get going again with your sew-jo.

Gemma Daly (07:12)
Yeah, that's really great advice. You did a really interesting video recently about sewing for the life you don't have. And I wanted to go into this a bit with you. So can you tell us what it was about and why it's relevant to the psychology of sewing?

Claire Ashley (07:19)
you

Yeah.

So I am very much sew for the life that I do not have. Like if you look at my wardrobe, you'd think that I would live on the French Riviera. That I basically just spend my days reading, sitting on a terrace, overlooking the sea, drinking aperol spritzs I mean, I would absolutely love to live this life, don't get me wrong. But that's not the life that I live. I mostly work from home now.

Gemma Daly (07:39)
you

Claire Ashley (07:57)
go for coastal walks pretty much every day. The bins go out more than I do. ⁓ I do the school run. I go to the supermarket. That's pretty much my life. And it's not the wardrobe that I have created for myself.

And there's something in the psychology of that about sewing aspirationally and sewing for an identity or a version of yourself that you wish you were or a lifestyle that you wish you had. Now, interestingly, and actually I don't think I have done a video on this and I will do a video on this, there is this concept of enclosed cognition. I don't know if you've heard about this Gemma, which is basically where if you wear the clothing,

Gemma Daly (08:34)
No.

Claire Ashley (08:38)
of something that you aspire to be, then you actually embody it. So for instance, there's been some work done, I think on, I can't remember exactly the date, I would have to look this up, but you know, if on students, if they're given like a lab coat or a doc, like, know, the white coat the doctors used to wear, that they perform better, like on their science or their maths exams, basically, and problem solving, because they embody the characteristics of a scientist or a doctor, right? And so there's definitely

Gemma Daly (08:54)
Yeah.

Claire Ashley (09:05)
some science in sewing and dressing for the life that you want. But when you're working from home, I don't need to be in a suit. And also, when it comes to the UK, let's face it, we're gonna have a heat wave, hopefully, for the May half term this year. So I can definitely get out some of those makes but the majority of them sit there unworn for 10 months of the year. And so it can be...

Gemma Daly (09:10)
Mmm. ⁓

Mm.

Claire Ashley (09:34)
healthy because you're expressing an identity that you want to have. It's optimistic, it's helpful, it's hopeful, sorry, not helpful. It's a stretch goal. It's sewing for something, it's therapeutic in a way to be sewing for someone that you want to be. But it can also be a genuine source of frustration that you're not there right. I think in my head as well, I've definitely gotten to a point where I was like,

Gemma Daly (09:53)
you

Claire Ashley (09:58)
maybe I wouldn't enjoy sewing so much if I didn't sew whimsically, you know, if I didn't sew for the occasion, if I didn't make a brightly coloured summery dress, you know, but actually we know that the process of sewing in and of itself is so therapeutic and brings so many benefits and so much joy that actually

Gemma Daly (10:05)
Hmm.

Claire Ashley (10:21)
you don't need to be sewing for an identity that you wish that you had ⁓ in order to get those benefits. And so that's been quite an interesting process for me to go through that and to realize that.

Gemma Daly (10:31)
I think it is quite hard actually because, you know, for me, I like plain colours, I like pastel colours, and I have to think of practicality because I know that my wardrobe is practical for me being a parent, you know, my everyday life, and I will get the most out of those clothes when I make them. But it doesn't mean that I don't look at other people who make these sort of beautiful, bright,

bold garments and feel a little bit of, you know, ⁓ I want a bit of that. So it is quite hard to balance that, isn't it?

Claire Ashley (11:07)
think as well, especially if you're using social media for your inspiration for your makes, the stuff that gets pushed algorithmically is the stuff that is bigger.

Gemma Daly (11:13)
you

Claire Ashley (11:17)
brighter, bolder, you know, that's the stuff that gets the engagement, isn't it? ⁓ So that I think that's probably something a little bit of that. But the good news is that actually you're getting huge benefits and joy from the process of making these things, as well as making a wardrobe that works functionally for you. So actually, I'd argue that from psychological perspective, you've got more benefits than I have in sewing a wardrobe that I don't wear.

Gemma Daly (11:39)
Fair enough.

You've also been going through a bit of a process, I understand, this month with it being Me Made May and looking at your wardrobe and decluttering or destashing certain items. Handmade garments often hold a lot more emotional weight, don't they? What factors do you think hold us back from passing them on?

Claire Ashley (12:05)
Yeah, so I've done a fair amount of ⁓ stuff on this this month because there are so many when it comes to decluttering a ready to wear wardrobe, I think that in some respects, it's a lot easier because you just don't have that same emotional attachment to the garments that are in your wardrobe. There might be some emotional attachment, especially if you bought something during a time in your life where there are positive memories associated with it. Maybe you

bought it for a special occasion, a ⁓ wedding or christening or something like this. And so, yeah, absolutely people that have ⁓ wardrobes that aren't working for them with filled with ready to wear items, sometimes that can be difficult. But when it comes to...

sewing and handmade garments, there are additional layers of emotional complexities. So I've mentioned the IKEA effect on my post recently. So that is when value something that you've made more with your own hands, more than equivalent items or the same item that's been made by someone else. So that comes from research that was done in people who were building flat packed furniture. So people that made

their Ikea items, valued them more than buying them off the shelf when they were ready made, if that makes sense. And that's because they've made it themselves. Then you've got the added layer of identity and self-expression. And also just the enjoyment that you get out of the process of making it. That absolutely means that you have more of an emotional attachment to your item. Then on the flip side to that as well, like...

Okay, maybe you might be able to overcome letting go of that item, but then what do do with it? Because, you know, it's not obvious what you do with a handmade item because it's been made to your measurements. It's very much your taste. Do you, is there a market for it? Do you donate it? Not every charity takes handmade items. So then do you, what do you do with it? Cause you don't want to throw it away. You know, it feels wasteful to get rid of something that might not then be appreciated in the same way by other people.

Gemma Daly (13:56)
Good night.

Claire Ashley (14:03)
And I think that your options for moving it on are a little bit more limited too. I think also like you've got the fabric because you've made fabric choices and pattern choices, you know, it's, you know, it carries associative memory. And I think

when it comes to letting it go, you're also maybe letting, especially if you're, you know, sewing for a life that you don't have like I do, it means letting go of that imagined future self, right? So it's, there are so many psychological layers that means that it's really hard to let go of those handmade makes. But I think for myself, I've just got to point out because I've never like really organized my wardrobe or really sewed in a structured way. And by that, mean like,

Gemma Daly (14:26)
Yeah.

Claire Ashley (14:41)
actually planning out colour palettes or items that will go together I've just sewn because I'm like, oh, I love that pattern. Oh, I really love that fabric. I actually, it's got a bit overwhelming and my husband had got to the point where he was like, I've got no space. Could you please like do something about this? And I was like, okay, all right, fine. I will try to give you a little bit more space. But actually it's been quite cathartic to...

Gemma Daly (14:47)
Yeah.

You

Claire Ashley (15:10)
go through that process and be like, okay, this is a bit of a mismatch. I'm now moving post burnout into another new identity. I want to feel like my wardrobe is congruent, it's cohesive. ⁓ so yeah, decluttering is just part of that initial first step before I then start to think about how I'm gonna curate what I make moving forwards. yeah, I'm excited. I've been enjoying it.

Gemma Daly (15:36)
Yeah, that's cool. That's really cool.

You've mentioned sort of identity a couple of times through our chat and do you think clothing and identity are very closely linked psychologically?

Claire Ashley (15:50)
Yeah, absolutely. There's a whole lot of work that has been done on this and ⁓ there's a couple of books as well if you're interested in this that ⁓ are really helpful. I'm just trying to see if I've got them here. I think not. ⁓ But so I've been reading a book on fashion psychology. I think it is literally just called The Psychology of Fashion that talks a lot to sustainability as well and also the psychology of shopping, which is perhaps less relevant for makers.

Gemma Daly (15:58)
Mm.

Claire Ashley (16:15)
There's also a book called Big Dress Energy by Shekayla Forbes-Bells. She's a fashion psychologist and her account on Instagram is really interesting and she talks a lot about identity and how actually clothing as a form of identity expression is really healthy. So I've really been inspired by reading some of these things to think about how that then intersects with the sewing community. Cause I would say for the sewing community that

work hasn't been done in quite the same way, but I think that the principles are still very applicable. And so when I think about my own journey, starting sewing after going through burnout, I was in the active process of forming a new identity for myself, figuring out how my career was going to go. Also being a mother, because you, so much of your identity as a mother gets tied up in your children. And I think the clothing can be a way of expressing

some of that lost identity that you definitely experience when you go through that transition period. And now, again, one of the reasons why I'm decluttering my wardrobe is because my husband was like, come on now, some of this stuff has got to go. But also for me, again, I'm making more career changes and my kids are a little bit older now. I do feel more settled. I feel happier. And so I'm like, actually,

maybe I should start being a grown up about this and have a more adult wardrobe, something that's a little bit more sophisticated. And I'm like, okay, that feels good actually. Let's, let's, you know, not to say of course that I didn't enjoy making the stuff that I made when I first started sewing. Absolutely. I have enjoyed making it and I've got, had a lot of joy out of it. I just want to use my sewing in a slightly more intentional way now, I think.

Gemma Daly (17:37)
Thank

Yeah, and it's really interesting how your clothing literally represents different periods of your life, like you say, and you're moving away from that. Specifically, I think with motherhood, can be a really difficult time in many ways. I feel like I was personally quite lost. My body was completely different.

But everything is wrapped up in somebody else and you don't really know who you are anymore. So there is a real journey with that, isn't there? And expressing yourself again through your clothing.

Claire Ashley (18:30)
Yeah, absolutely. And especially adding to that, you you don't feel like your body is yourself anymore. So you've got that dilemma and obviously your body has changed. So you've got that dilemma. Do I dress for the body that I have right now? Is it going to stay like this? Is it going to go back to where it was? It doesn't, but you know, but then you go through this, I don't know. Well, you know, just to share a about my own journey, I breastfed both of my children.

Gemma Daly (18:48)
You

Claire Ashley (18:58)
And so whilst I lost a lot of my pregnancy weight within the first few months after having the children, until I stopped breastfeeding, my body really was not my own, you know? And so that was a period of many months actually where my wardrobe, just what was I wearing? The same stuff over and I was still wearing my maternity clothes, you know? And I think that definitely factors into, you know, it's a difficult time anyway with the sleepless nights.

Gemma Daly (19:19)
Yeah.

Claire Ashley (19:28)
⁓ and having to care for a new baby and especially if you're a first-time mum you really don't know what you're doing and it's quite stressful and then you're not working so then you've got that loss of your identity as well and you're not necessarily engaging or doing the things that used to give you a sense of identity.

prior to having the baby because you just don't have the time. And then when the baby does start sleeping a little bit more, you're knackered. you're like, you're you're like, I'd rather just go to bed than, than maybe go and see some friends or, you know, go and do a class or, you know, do the things that you used to do that help form part of your identity. So actually your wardrobe is something that is very accessible during that time actually, because you have to get dressed.

Gemma Daly (19:49)
Yep.

you

Yeah.

Mm.

Claire Ashley (20:13)
But when your body's

in that state of flux, it's really difficult to know how to dress and to feel good in what you're wearing as well. Tricky time.

Gemma Daly (20:19)
Yeah

it really is and I think that's interesting about how you say you want to like make things but are you making it for the person you are at the moment or are you making it for this person that you might be or might not be in the future and I think that can come into it in a lot of other aspects as well so maybe you don't feel like you know you look the way you want to look weight wise or otherwise you know and

Claire Ashley (20:44)
Yeah.

Gemma Daly (20:47)
And it is so hard because, yeah, do you make it for how you are now or your future self? Who knows? But it's a difficult thing to unpick, isn't it?

Claire Ashley (20:58)
is really tricky. And also it is a transition time, isn't it? So you're in a constant state of uncertainty and flux. So I think, yeah, I wasn't sewing when I was pregnant or postpartum. you know, it's not something that I've done myself, but there are a couple of accounts where people talk about this openly on Instagram. know Layla, who's Peace on the side. I don't know if you follow her at all. She's, I think she's got a toddler now, but she talks a

Gemma Daly (21:23)
Mm, yes.

Claire Ashley (21:27)
lot about how her relationship with making changed during that postpartum journey. I think she's only just given up breastfeeding as well so she talks a little bit about that. I think she would be a good person to you know go and have a look at if that's something that if you're currently in that space I would say.

Gemma Daly (21:44)
Absolutely. Now the last thing I wanted to sort of tackle in this episode is about fabric stashes and most of us sewists have a fabric stash, me included. What is it in our brains that makes us want to stash that fabric?

Claire Ashley (21:52)
you

Yes, it comes back to dopamine. So this is true, regardless of whether you are neurotypical or neurodivergent. I think a common misconception about dopamine is that I think most people understand it as the brain's reward chemical being released when you do something rewarding and it makes you feel good. But what most people I think don't understand or know is that actually it gets released.

in the highest quantities when you are planning something when you're in the anticipatory phase of a project. So what that means is that when you're planning your makes, you're getting the highest amount of dopamine, you're getting the most reward and motivation to crack on with your projects. And so when people say that

Fabric buying and sewing are different hobbies. Actually, I think there probably is some scientific truth in that Your brain wants dopamine because it feels good, right? And so it will push you into doing things that release it in its highest quantities. And for us as sewists, we get our highest amounts of dopamine from buying fabric and planning our makes. it's not just buying fabric, I guess. It could be other supplies, patterns potentially.

Gemma Daly (22:49)
Okay.

Claire Ashley (23:12)
And so that's why we end up doing it. think it's really nice to know actually that there was a neurological reason why you might cultivate a massive stash. It's just your brain doing what it's wired to do.

Gemma Daly (23:24)
Yeah.

There you go, people. You've heard it from a doctor, you're allowed to have that fabric stashed. Well, thank you so much for joining me again on the show today, Claire. sure you come back tomorrow to hear all about Claire's personal sewing story and what sewing means to her. See you then.

Claire Ashley (23:31)
Yeah, granted.