From Adversity to Achievement: The Green Beret Mindset with Jacek Waliszewski

  In this episode of The Asset Mindset Podcast, Daniel Fielding sits down with Jacek Waliszewski, a Green Beret and author, to explore transformation through adversity. From growing up as a political refugee to leading in high-stakes environments, Jacek shares hard-earned lessons on resilience, self-reliance, mentorship, and emotional intelligence. The conversation unpacks leadership under pressure, parenting resilient children, and why personal growth begins when you take ownership of your life.

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Chapters

 00:00 Introduction to Jacek Waliszewski

01:35 Overcoming Early Life Challenges

05:15 Navigating Life's Speed Bumps

14:36 The Role of Control in Life

18:06 The Impact of Divine Timing

22:48 Mentorship and Personal Growth

30:24 The Importance of Choosing the Right Mentor

38:34 The Journey to Becoming a Green Beret

47:23 Navigating Complex Emotions in High-Stakes Situations

58:13 Driving Your Own Life: Ownership and Responsibility

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Website: https://theheroprotocol.com/

Produced by Security Halt Media

Transcript

Origins And Early Hardship

SPEAKER_02 0:06

Welcome to the Asset Mindset Podcast, where we don't wait for opportunities, we create them. We're about transformation, not motivation. And today we have a special guest, Yatzik Valishevsky. I hope I got that right. And if I didn't, brother, I'm sorry. Amazing Green Bray. Hey, welcome to the show. Tell the audience hello and a little bit about yourself.

SPEAKER_00 0:28

Daniel, thanks for having me. I really appreciate being here. Um, so I'm Yatzik Valishevsky, uh, firstborn son to uh the founder of a revolution. Uh some people are aware of the solidarity movement in the 80s, uh political refugee. We came here uh early 80s. Uh my dad um got to meet Reagan and um really set in motion the things that made that revolution a successful uh stateside. Spent uh lifetime living in the States, moving around the world, became a Green Beret. Now I'm retiring out. Uh I'm a author, uh, won a couple awards with my books. Uh they're uh the codename Spike series. Uh I was lucky enough to find in the archives a book that was written by secret agents in 1946 that they could never publish. Went out, found the families, and then they asked me, and you know, I asked them if I could do the honor of publishing their 80-year-old uh uh manuscript. So that has opened phenomenal doors. Love that. Um, and then I'm also uh the the founder of the Hero Protocol, which is a uh a neuro neurotropic supplement, helps guys like us get back to baseline.

SPEAKER_02 1:41

Wonderful. That's fantastic. So each episode we dive into the mindset, habits, and mission-driven thinking that turn everyday people into high performers and real life warriors. And you've had an incredible life. So talk to us about some of the transformations or when was your first, I guess, challenge in life? Like what'd you go through that you were like, wow?

Surviving Abuse And Self-Reliance

Boarding School Hustles And Street Smarts

SPEAKER_00 2:05

I mean, I think being a kid in North Carolina, going to public school with a name like Yatsik, uh, that's that sets the that sets the bar for uh some complexities there. Um, you know, but uh yeah, and I kind of struggled going back and forth on you know what was difficult for me may not have been difficult for somebody else, or might have been, you know, impossible for someone else, right? And so immigrant kid, uh parents divorced early, the uh second stepmom was like uh legitimately abusive, would lock me in the uh bathroom on the weekends when dad would go on a business trip and then just I wouldn't eat or you know, I'd have to drink water out of the faucet. What's interesting is when I tell this story, people are like, no, that like that that that's beyond the scope of reasonable. I was like, yeah, it is. I was like, but like what I did when I was locked in the bathroom and I knew I was getting you know punished for her frustrations, you know, I would then like sneak into the pantry at night the day before and like you know, squirrel away some crackers because I knew what my problem was going to be, right? And so I was only five or six, right? So like as a kid, you don't understand these things from a like, oh, this is bad. You just understand it from like, oh, this is just reality, right? A kid doesn't, I I couldn't grasp the concept of uh what was morally right versus what was just difficult. And I remember very specifically, like, you know, you make your bed and the bathtub, and I was just like, huh. Well, this is gonna suck, but I can get past this, and I'm just gonna learn how to get past this. And so for me, you know, those early trials and tribulations were never things that would stop me and prevent me from going forward. They were always just like speed bumps, like traffic in if you're driving home, right, and there's a bunch of traffic, you're not gonna just stop, pull over on the side of the road and quit, right? And say, I'm never going home. And I'm like, yeah, you're you know, and so I didn't embrace that mentality either. I was just like, oh, this is just bad traffic in life, right? Or fender bender or you know, a speed bump. And um, you know, so I slowly started addressing all of life's adventures because there was a lot of them, right? And with that mentality, this isn't a stopping point, this is just traffic, right? Or somebody else driving a car poorly in their life has affected me. How do I just get out of the way? I don't need to jump in their car and teach them how to drive. You know, I might, you know, you know, flick them off or, you know, it's cur curse in my own car, but at the end of the day, my responsibility is my car, right? And so, um, yeah, fortunately, uh, dad got a divorce from his second wife. That stint of of of you know traumatic abuse ended eventually. Um ended up in boarding school and because uh through complexities of life, I was like, look, you know, my mom's suffering from massive depression. My dad's busy setting his career up, right? He started working for General Motors. And I was maybe eight or nine at this point. And I'm looking at both of them and between North Carolina and Tennessee, spending six months here and there, and I was just like, this isn't working for me. And so finally my dad was like, what do you want to do? I was like, I just find me a boarding school. I just want to go to a boarding school. So I've heard good things about boarding schools. You know, you read some books, boarding schools are supposed to be great. And so I ended up going to a boarding school right there in Knoxville, Tennessee, which is between both parents. When I got there, I was like, okay, I'm ready to do this thing called life, and you know, these teachers are going to take care of me. But the teachers go away on the weekends, right? And so I'm just I'm like nine, ten years old and I'm alone, and then I'm like, huh. Like, how do I eat? Because I my dad didn't sign me up for the cafeteria, and they're telling me I have to wash dishes to afford tuition, right? There's a backdoor deal to that. And then neither parent sent me with enough clothes because they both thought the other parent was gonna send me with clothes, and so I'm nine years old, right? And again, I'm just like not thinking like, oh, the parents have failed me. I'm like, okay, this is a new traffic jam of life. Uh so I'm just like, I think this is obviously why I became a Green Beret, because I started raiding the uh laundry rooms and stealing clothes from kids, right? I needed a polo, so I went and got a polo. You know, I needed socks, so I went and got socks. Um, I was hungry, so I learned how to break into the commissary, right? And like little things like that became just happenstance for me. Um and then, you know, one day, uh, I'm not religious, but I can appreciate religion. I was sitting or standing uh on on the football field, uh it was roughly midnight, and I'm yelling at God, right? This is a it was a religious boarding school. And I'm yelling, I'm like, look, I don't know what the F is going on, but like both parents, you know, couldn't figure it out. Like this boarding school thing isn't working out for me because teachers aren't taking care of me and like I'm having to defend for myself in a real way. And so I look up at him, I was or look up at the sky, and I'm like, you know, like you're supposed to give me answers, but I'm not getting any answers. Like, where are they? Right? I'm nine years old. This is probably too much for me to handle right now. So I told him, I was like, hey, I'm gonna be a free agent. I don't believe in your religion. Book as it's written, as people, you know, you know, espouse, right? And uh so I'm like, look, I'm just gonna do my own thing. Put me in situ, I'm like, I'll be a free agent. Put me in situations that need me to do things that are good, and I'll try to figure it out as I go. But from here on out, I'm not doing it your way. I'm not doing it any preacher's way, whatever else. And so I stop, I stopped cursing them, and I'm waiting to get struck by lightning. I don't get struck by lightning. And uh so I'm like, okay. So I started walking back up, right? This is the early 90s, and uh payphones were still the only way people could communicate. Outside the boys' dorm was a bank of payphones where parents would call, they'd call the payphones, and then if you heard it, the rule was you hear the phone ring, you run, you answer it, find out who they're asking for, go inside, find the kid, bring it back out. So it's like midnight 30. I'm walking by this bank of payphones and it rains. And I'm like, this is weird. So I pick it up, I'm like, hello, who are you looking for? He's like, Oh, yeah, I'm looking for a Yatzek, he's my son. I'm like, oh, hi dad. And uh I'm like, what's up? He's like, well, General Motors, because he was working for General Motors at the time. He's like, the wall fell in the 90s in Europe. General Motors asked me to go do an extended business trip. I was like, okay, well, I guess I'll see you when I see you. He's like, well, you know, do you want to come? I was like, to Poland? I'm like 10 years old now. I'm like, yeah, sure, I'll go. Like, when are we going? He's like, I'll pick you up at six, the flight's at noon.

SPEAKER_01 8:28

I'm like, and so I I like I'm sitting there, you know, and I'm like, I poke my head out of the payphone and I look up and I do one of these. I was like, okay, the adventure begins, right?

SPEAKER_00 8:36

Like, I accept, I sign up for the adventure. And two, three days later, we're in Warsaw, Poland. The wall has just fallen, everything's dark, calmie gray. You know, I'm this, I'm Polish, right? Because I was born in Poland, but I'd left for 10 years, so I came back. So I'm neither Polish anymore, but I'm, you know, very American. And I'm like, I don't know what I signed up for, but this is gonna be awesome. And so for the next, oh, I'd say from roughly when I was 10 to 18, uh, I went to the American School of Warsaw and was surrounded by individuals who are similar to me. It's called Third Culture Kid, TCK, where you don't fit in anywhere, but you find yourself surrounded by other kids that don't kind of fit in anywhere, right? Because I was surrounded by uh, so all the diplomats uh in Warsaw could only send their kids to an accredited univers or school, they sent them to the American School of Warsaw. So like my friends were the you know ambassador's kid to like Venezuela, uh Colombia, like you know, uh England, everywhere else, right? And I was just hanging out with these kids, and their parents were like, no, no crap, like real politicals. And then all the business people sent their kids too, right? So we'd go on a field trip or go into town and they'd be like, oh yeah, my dad's building that skyscraper, right? And then all the criminal activity sent their kids there too, right? Like one of my buddies was uh a kid at like 14 years old. He'd be showing up to class in a suit, shaved head. Uh, his name literally means noodle, or his nickname was literally noodle. And he would be sitting next to the FBI director who worked at the American embassy, his son. So those two sons would be sitting next to each other. FBI son would turn over and be like, hey, my dad's investigating your dad's assets. And then the uh the mafia boss's son was like, that doesn't matter. He just moved him out of country.

SPEAKER_01 10:19

And then we're like, all right, let's go, let's go drinking this weekend. And then we'd all go to party that weekend, right? And so it's the 90s. I'm 14, 15 years old.

SPEAKER_00 10:28

There are no rules in Warsaw. And then I get to really grow up in this kind of like, whatever I want to do, not maliciously, but whatever I want to do, you can, you know, I and we needed money for for for because we were kids and we needed money. I turned my buddy's like, wait, your uncle owns a bar, you know the the Bacardi ice rep. I was like, what if we get the Bacardi ice rep to drop off a pallet of Bacardi ice, and then we rent the bar out for, I don't know, whatever, and then we sell tickets to everybody in school and just throw a party. Wake up the next day, I've got like thousands of dollars in my pocket. I'm like, oh my god, this worked!

SPEAKER_01 11:01

You know, and I'm like 14, 15, 16, you know, like I'm just like, ha, this is great, you know?

SPEAKER_00 11:06

And then uh the the the rules started to change, right? Late 90s, and you had to have an ID to go out and party in Warsaw, 18 years old. We were in like the 15 and 16 range. I was like, these rules suck because they're really impeding my ability just to have fun. And so I'm like, okay, how do I make IDs for people? And so I'm like, okay, I can steal school letterhead because his uh dad is a teacher, I can get this printer, and then I can go downtown in Warsaw and bribe the person to get IDs, and then I can just give these IDs to my friends, I'll pay for it, just so that my friends can party. And like, you know, this works for a couple months, and then you know, I've I'm getting suspended, right? Wonder why. Right? There's consequences to some things in life. And uh, but uh this idea of like, hey, life is just full of speed bumps, right? You don't or you know, traffic jamps, you don't run bad drivers sometimes, great drivers sometimes, and sometimes better drivers than you. Doesn't mean you have to pull over on the side of the road and cry about it and you know, call an Uber or call a tow truck. But like, you know, and so these kind of adventurisms took over my life in a very young way, real way. Uh I mean to the point where I was young 20s, and I checked with a lawyer, I can share the story. So young 20s, bartending in DC. My roommate at the time had just gotten out of jail for being a master counterfeiter. You know, obviously, uh I think we can predict where the story goes. He comes to me one day, a couple months later, he's like, hey, uh, I'm gonna be low on rent this month because, you know, whatever. He's like, but I got a plan. I was like, well, I bet you do have a plan. And so two months later, I'm drinking uh a Heineken and looking on my counter table or on my uh coffee table, and there's about$100,000 printed uh right there on the table. And I'm just like, oh, this is such a bad idea. Like, this was fun designing it and cracking the code, but like this is where it's officially the bad idea stage. And so I turn on the grill and I just sit there all night just burning money, and I burn it up. Uh he comes back, throws, throws a hissy fit, and like leaves, and that's the end of that uh roommate ship. But um, you know, I didn't go to jail, right? Fortunately, I did find out the FBI or Secret Service did send a honeypot because I was a bartender. A girl would come in, too cute, way out of my league, was really interested in me. And by the second or third date, she was like, Let's go to your house or my apartment. I'm like, no. I'm thinking, I was like, there's there's there's a printing press going on. Finally, you know, I turned to my roommate, I was like, hey, what would happen if someone found out we were doing this? He's like, Oh, well, you know, they would likely send uh you know some some way to figure it out. I was like, Oh, I think that's happening, right? And um, so finally she came over to the house and within five minutes she'd gone through every door. She's like, What's in this door? I was like, that's the pantry. What's down here? I was like, well, that's where we keep the pots and pans. What's in here? And I was like, that's the guest bathroom. And uh, so like, you know, all those things compounding. Like, I've been lucky enough uh to always take it to the limit and then have that moment of like light bulb, like, okay, the adventure's over, time to be an adult again, you're right. Like it's like sort of like driving, going back to the driving analogy, driving too fast and realizing, well, I could actually get a really big speeding ticket, right? About now, you know, and then we'll taking it back down, right? And so early 20, I mean, early teens to the 20s, you know, it's kind of what in an ideal world, that's kind of like what life is supposed to be like, right? Like, as long as no one gets hurt, have as much fun as you can. Um, and then I joined special forces and then the army paid me to do it professionally.

SPEAKER_02 14:42

So uh wow. That's all I gotta say right there. Uh talking about learning left and right limits in your life or pushing the envelope to survive, um, overcoming obstacles. What a what a crazy story. And I'm sure there's so many more. But I want to dive into when did you okay? You took talked about the bathroom incident being locked in. When did you realize that most of the stuff going on in your life was all right, I can't control it, but I'm gonna take as much control as I can. Was it that young age?

A Midnight Challenge And A Life-Changing Call

SPEAKER_00 15:16

I mean, that's a good question. Um, I would have to say, yeah, because you're like, if I don't smuggle away and hide food somewhere in the bathroom pantry, then I'm not gonna eat for the next 48 hours, right? And then and this isn't to say like I took it, you know, sitting down. Like, um, I did go to the teachers and be like, hey, like my stepmom's abusing me, right? Like, like I don't think, you know, I'm young, but I don't think I should not be eating over the weekend. And the teachers were like, we don't know what to do with this information. And they're like, we just won't talk about it. And you're like, and then that's that's kind of where the idea of like other people are going to fail me if I don't take care of myself, right? Because I you're I'm I'm I was a kid, right? You do what you're told to do, talk to the person, talk to somebody else, tell, you know, ask for help. But when those things fail, and you're just like, huh, like maybe that that advice was not accurate, not right. Maybe the human is that I'm asking things from is not capable of helping me. And so that sort of set, like I would say that set the pace, right? Set the tone that if I don't master some aspect of this to the smallest extent that I can, which is literally steal some saltine crackers, um, then tomorrow's gonna be worse, right? And so that was, I guess, thrust into me to, you know, be the pilot of my own ship, right? And so um, yeah, starting there and then moving forward into if I didn't figure out a yeah, the Rubik's Cube of how to solve this adventure, then I wasn't going to have, you know, an awesome party on the weekend. It became it became whatever a 16, 17-year-old, old, old, you know, kid or boy would want in their height of their puberty years, you know. You're just like, what do I want to achieve? I have no limits. I'm just gonna figure out how I want to achieve this, you know. So um I got really lucky in those regards. And then, you know, you're talking about left and right limits. Literally, my dad could bail me out of jail, and then all the way over here is um, as long as I don't cause an international incident, I'm okay. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:16

So wow, amazing. And just like anything in life, there's pros and cons. Like that's a horrible thing to go through as a kid. But look at the lessons learned. And that's one of the things I want people to realize when you're going through a bad thing, it's not all bad. There's pros and cons to everything. Like you learned to take control of your life. You learned, hey, I can affect my situation. It's gonna suck, but you know what? I can make it less sucky if I get some food hidden here. So anybody out there, you're dealing with the problem, you know, figure out how you can make it suck less and then get through it. Like you can do it. And now I want to go to you're out in that field and you're yelling up at God, yeah, and it's 12:30 at night and the phone rings and it just happens to be your dad. Oh yeah. What did that do to you as far as like, I mean, I know for me, I've had some instance in life where, you know, I said a prayer or whatever, and then a phone call or something. Yeah, it's amazing when that happens.

Choosing Responsibility Over Resentment

SPEAKER_00 18:16

So, like, yeah, what what was that like? Um, you know, I have been lucky enough where on a few occasions, many occasions, that has worked out. Um, and then uh on a few other flip side occasions where I I thought I was in charge of everything, and I had to eat a big slice of humble pie, right? Like the next day, like everything falls apart. So to kind of have that overarching feeling of like, oh, this is a phone call that is gonna change my life. And even though I, you know, it's it's sort of like I don't do you have kids? Yes, I have three. Okay, yeah. So I've I have two boys, um equally rambunctious, right? And you know, so as a parent, right, I've I've you've you kind of phase into this thing where like eight and below you're a ment you you're you're a parent to your kids, right? Once they start hitting 10 and above and they go on through puberty and whatnot, and they start thinking for themselves, you're not really a parent, you're more of a mentor, right? And so as a dad, I've had to kinda embrace that. And when I realize when moments like that happen, you know, the the you know, the phone call rings at 12 30, it's like, oh, I was allowed to have my emotional outbursts, right? And because I that's part of growing up, right? But like someone, something is looking out for me, and I'm just going to have to trust that it is as long as I'm doing things for the uh you know, my perceived what I understand to be for the greater good and uh and other people's you know benefit, and I'm not being malicious or you know, greedy or vengeful or petty. And I ask for something that, as far as I understand it to be, is is something very positive, um, that door will faithfully open, right? And it will be my responsibility to walk through it and see things. Through. I'm gonna have to be the guy that carries it. But that opportunity has usually presented itself in beautiful ways. Down to um, you know, I was on the sale end of my career and finding the book code named Spike, right? But maybe you know, a couple years earlier, I was like, I would really like to explore writing. And I'd really like to explore something meaningful, not just like yeah, you know, uh pop culture type writing, but like something meaningful. And I just waited for it. And I found the memoir in the National Archive, and it had been sitting there, and I picked it up and I could just feel it shimmering. It was a huge, thick, leather-bound book, big brass tabs holding it together. The pages were onion skins, so it's like this really thin wafer, uh, and you know, opening pages. These this is uh the true account of special operators in World War II, as told to him, you know, and written by uh members from the OSS. And you're like, I'm holding it. I'm like, what is this? And I turned to the curator. He's like, oh, that's some guy's diary. I was like, this is not some guy's diary. I was like, I was like, this, you know, I'm thinking like OSS was in the 40s and they weren't all OSS wasn't allowed to write anything until the 80s. I was like, holy crap. And so I started reading it, and four hours later, um, the curator's like, hey, you know, it's closing time. I'm like, no, no, I'm only on page 100. It's not closing time. And then he's like, well, you can come back. I'm like, I can't come back. Uh, you know, I got I'm leaving tomorrow. And I'm looking at him, I'm like, do I steal this? Because that's the way I can transcribe it. And I'll give it right back to him. And but after I've transcribed it, like, you know, I can then share it with everybody. And so um to have those questions or those wants of like, hey, put me in the right place to do the right thing. Right. And this has happened throughout SF career too. Like, you know, I have solved some incredible international riddles just by having really interesting conversations. Uh, we can get into that later. But um, you know, otherwise, had I not been there and asked the right questions, yeah, eventually hopefully the question the problem would have been solved. But um, you know, I have seen it happen consistently enough to believe in it that if you intend to ask the right question for the right reasons and follow through with it, you know, with with with clarity and with oh I'll say character, yeah as the for the to the best of your ability, nine times out of ten that door will open and you better be ready to go through it. Um otherwise that door will those doors will start closing. And so for have for that to have happened in such a formative year, um you know, and you I was cursing God, right? You're never supposed to curse God, you know. Uh this is this is especially in a in a in a Christian academy, like that's like it's like calling the the the hot the red line the hotline. Uh but for it to be answered all of 15 minutes later is is crazy to me. And that but that legitimately changed my trajectory in life.

SPEAKER_02 22:54

Well, you did offer yourself up as a free agent, I heard you, or from what you said. You're like, hey, I just want to be part of the good team. I don't know exactly what's going on because you're a kid, you know, trying to figure out the world, and you're like, Well, I just help me.

Fatherhood, Emotional Control, And Teaching

SPEAKER_00 23:09

And wow, it happened. Yeah, and you yeah, then you, you know, every every adult that's been in your circle has been disappointing, right? And so you kind of I think it would be unreasonable to expect a kid in that situation to be like, no, I'm just gonna stay disappointed, right? And I think some people do, right? They don't they don't feel empowered. They they they feel, oh, this is just the lot of life, right? Or this is uh the unfortunate situation, and I'm going to learn how to you know either manage my trauma in an unhealthy way or explode my trauma in an unhealthy way. Right. Now they become the problem. Ironically, because of something bad that happened to them that they did not manage, now all of a sudden they're not managing it and they're making things worse for other people. And at a certain point they become adults, and now it's officially their fault and the responsibility for making things worse. Uh and and I think I think we all know people that have failed to manage themselves. And uh going back to my kids, when they have a frustrating moment, right? They're hungry, they're tired, whatever. They're like little green berets themselves, right? Like you could just like you just see them. Oh, he hasn't eaten in a while. He's gonna be hangry here in a minute, right? Like you manage them that way. And as a dad, you know, you're I'm trying to grow men. I'm not trying to raise kids, I'm trying to raise men, right? I'm like, hey man, like I love you. That thing you said, the curse words you dropped, uh, the fight you walked into and started throwing things around. I get it, that was your emotions, but like, you know, and I'll I'll wait till they're more calm to have this conversation. But I was like, hey, do you remember when you were in diapers? And they're like, yeah. I'm like, okay, why did you get out of diapers? And they're like, well, because I was potty trained. I was like, great. I was like, now you're transitioning into an older kid, right? You're gonna be a teenager here soon. Your emotions now have control over you, or you have control over your emotions, your choice. But the same way you wore a diaper when you couldn't control your pooping is the same way if you start having this emotional diarrhea every time you get angry and like throw it around the world and like make everybody in the family unhappy, or you know, you start slamming doors. I was like, I'm gonna have to figure out some way to put an emotional diaper on you. I was like, is that what you want? I was like, I can take the iPad away. I can, you know, you can go to sleep at seven o'clock at night, right? So you get all the sleep in the world. I was like, what do you want? And they'll sit there and they'll come back to me like, Dad, I'm sorry that I flipped out. I flipped out because I was hungry or I had a bad day at school and I didn't tell you about it. Um, and I'm gonna ask them to give me a plan. They're like, next time I'm angry, I'm gonna try to think about it more. And then at the end of it, I'm like, and I love you. And they're like, oh yeah, yeah. We get, you know, and you're growing up. And this is the first F and time you as a child are running through this emotional loop, right? Like you're trying to figure it out. It's not my job to punish you for trying to figure out your loop. It's my job to say, hey, you know, first repetition, yeah, D minus. All right, let's tweak a few things, let's drop a few curse words, but let's, you know, work on this one thing and get a little better and get a little better and get a do it a hundred times, and sort of like riding a bicycle, right? Or like going into shoot house, right? We all remember the very first time we were ever in a shoot house. We didn't know for the one man, two man, or four man, we didn't know what was going on, what the corners were. And but after after a certain point in life, and or shooting in a shoot house and going in life, it's like you're going to figure it out, and then nothing, it doesn't really make it it's hard to kind of figure out where you are on that scale until a new guy shows up and doesn't know how to be the you know number one man or anything, and you're like, no, do this, do this, do this. And then you have to pause and you're like, oh, they've never done this before the same way a year ago I've never done that before. And so taking those lessons and kind of distilling them down and giving it to my kids and being like, hey, like, do as many repetitions as you need. Let's just make sure the next one's better, um, has really kind of also helped me reflect on the journeys that I've had. Because asking myself to do those things that I had to go, or at or rather, if I had to ask my kids, like, hey, I want you to spend the weekend in the bathroom. Uh, I'm not going to feed or feed or water you, so good luck. What would you do? And they'd be like, what are you doing? Yeah, why would you even consider this? And like just to even consider that makes me kind of sick to my stomach. But like to know that I went through those things and be like, oh, but how did I get through those things? It's like, because I refuse to quit and I refuse to pull over on the side of the road and you know, call an Uber and say, hey, like, or I got a flat tire, I don't know how to change a flat tire. Like, well then go learn how to change a flat tire, right? That's this is your life you're driving, right? Why wouldn't you learn how to drive a flat tire or you know, change a flat tire? And but then to see adults, you know, just and for for reference, just because people are in their 30s and 40s legally as adults doesn't make them emotional adults, right? Um and so it's this kind of really interesting dichotomy where sometimes the things that come out of my kids' mouth, my so my 10-year-old uh was having a uh disagreement with the teacher, and the teacher was like, Well, I'm very disappointed that like you didn't do this assignment. And she's like, That really hurts me. And my 10-year-old looks at her, he's like, respectfully, ma'am, your emotions are not my responsibility. And I looked and he told me this, and the teacher told me this. I was like, Oh my god, like holy crap, my 10-year-old just like out-adulted a teacher. You know, and because I remember telling him that like that new months ago, I was like, hey, this is something you can do when somebody's having too much emotional diarrhea, but it's not your responsibility. And that's stuck in his head. So he pulls out the card.

SPEAKER_01 28:50

He's like, Hey teacher, with all due respect, your emotional responses not, your emotions are not my responsibility. So you know, I'm just like, oh my god, who am I creating? I'm like, I'm creating I'm literally creating adults, but they're 10, they're in little human body forms, and so some adults won't be able to handle a 10-year-old adult maturity.

SPEAKER_00 29:12

So yeah, but it's important to keep them as kids too, right? So, you know, we we we do the movies, we we we we play soccer, everything else. But um, yeah, it's really interesting at this juncture of life of like, what have I learned? And can I give this to my children? And so that when they become adults, they're ready to be adults. And uh it's been uh fatherhood is its own journey too.

SPEAKER_02 29:33

So yeah, what a process. It's absolutely incredible. And I love how you use analogies here on the show. I'm sure you do that with them as well. So that's a great skill. I love analogies. You're doing amazing stuff. And part of this is you're mentoring them. So let's talk about mentorship. Obviously, you had some difficulties where you had to learn things on your own, but how important is it for people out there to find a good mentor or if they have one, you know, to use them?

How To Find And Use Mentors

SPEAKER_00 30:04

Yeah. Uh, you know, and this is always an interesting topic, mentorship, because you're trying to find somebody who knows more than you. You're not trying to find an echo chamber, you're not trying to find your next best friend. You're trying to say, like, who's a little bit further off, further in my life than where I want to go? You know, question one is where do you want to go in life? Uh, and that's a self-responsibility, a self-accountability, right? Like if I want to be the best pilot in the world, but my, you know, I choose a mentor who uh you know knows how to run convenience stores, right? Have maybe done a really great job of that. Might be a really interesting mentor, but might not be the right mentor for me, right? And so there's a degree of self-responsibility where you have to map out your trajectory because I think some people get mentorship wrong, where they're like, oh, I don't know what I want to do, so I'm gonna find somebody to tell me what I want to do. And it's their job to tell me and mentor me in life as opposed to taking con, you know, this is going back to the you can sit in the front seat of your own car, but are you in the passenger seat or are you the driver's seat? Right? Like, just because you're in the front seat in front of the windshield doesn't mean you're driving. And so I think us as humans, especially driven humans, we have to really sit down, pause, turn off all sounds and distractions, say, what the hell am I doing with life? Where do I want to go? Okay, that's where I want to go. Okay, then I need to help people find people who've already gone this route, right? Convenience store owner can teach me how to run a really good convenience store. But if my job or goal is to be a pilot, I gotta go find a pilot. He might be really old, you know, but or he might because young pilots are generally not experienced. Um, so right? So then you have to start kind of distilling that down to what you want to do with your own self. So you own that responsibility. And I think we really have to clarify that. Like, if you're looking for a mentor, find one who's doing or has done the one you want, the things you want. So that has always been a challenge for me. Um, because up until my 20s, I didn't know what the hell I want to do. I just knew I wanted an adventure, right? And so because I joined SF Special Forces when I was about 25, 24, 25. So I joined late, but I'd already been a bartender, I'd already owned two companies, uh, uh run and owned two companies, you know, small little companies. I've been an extra in a movie or two just because I was like, I don't know, maybe I want to be, you know, do explore that. And so like all these doors would open. And so, but uh it wasn't until I said, no, I absolutely want to be a Green Beret, because I've met a few of them and they're freaking amazing, and their stories are insane, and they're actually solving really big problems, and I want to solve important problems, and I want to use my creative brain to solve creative issues, right? And I don't want to be restricted, I want to do the job and work with like-minded people, right? And so I honed it in and said, I want to be a Green Beret. I became a Green Beret. Um, and then interesting enough, finding mentors in SF is still a challenge, right? Because everybody's doing their own version of life. And so, as an 18 Delta first, I was a special forces medic for about 10 years. Yeah, like, who is the best special forces medic that I want to become? And I would find them. I'd be like, hey, can you teach me a few things? And then, unfortunately, this is just the reality of life, is some guys aren't good mentors. Even though they've achieved all the things, they may not be good teachers because they haven't learned that teaching aspect where for whatever reason, usually I've learned in myself, right? So I can talk to myself. Like, if someone comes to me with a problem or they're reacting poorly in a way that I'm not agreeing with, that I wouldn't, I don't believe I would have have reacted that way or I would have solved differently. I once I start feeling those judgmental thoughts, I really pause, I stop, and I'm like, okay, that's what I would do. It's like, who is that person? Where is that person coming from? What have they learned? What have they not learned? Right? Because um an airplane will get you a lot of places, but it's sometimes a car is a better option, right? And so, yeah, but if so if somebody's been driving a car all their whole life, and then you tell them, hey, I want you to be a pilot now, and here's the keys to the plane, doesn't mean they're going to be a good pilot, right? Because they just haven't learned how to fly. It doesn't mean they're bad. They're just not trained to be a pilot. And so in an emotional situation or situational dynamic, the instant I'm in charge of people and you know I've been I feel judgmental or really disappointed, I will pause. I said, no, no, no. Like this person's doing the best they can based off the information that they have in their brain. And I can't go in their brain, but I can ask questions and I can try to figure out, you know, who are you? Where did you come from? Why did you do this? You know, why did you think that was your best option? Okay, did you consider these things? And so finding mentors has been difficult. Um, I think in part because uh life is as complex as it as it is. But the mentors I did find have been amazing, right? You kind of have to refine your mentor, right? It's not just like everybody's ready to be a mentor. All right. So first off, you have to know that you want one because you have to know where you're going. You have to be humble enough to ask. Second off, is uh you have to find the right one, right? Like uh one of my best shooting instructors, 18 Bravo, he would shoot so much that his fingers would bleed. And you asked him, like, hey, like, why is your finger bleeding? Shouldn't you take a break? He's like, No, now I know how I shoot when I'm compromised. And he would shoot another 10,000 reps, right? Like, and you're like, huh, I want that guy's mentality. Right. And so I got to get, I got to know him really well. And I was like, hey, I will never be a good shot as you because I'm not, you know, so obsessed with you know all the bullet aspects of you. But like, if I can learn 1% or 5% of what you know, can you please just teach me? And you know, I'm gonna be busy doing 18 Delta stuff, but every time you do 18 Bravo stuff or shooting on the side, take me with you. And we did. And I became a phenomenal shot. I mean, to myself, a phenomenal shot. To him, I was I was you know, grape jelly compared to the you know, uh entire you know, peanut butter jelly sandwich. But um he was gracious about it, right? And I'd be like, Oh, okay, am I doing good? I'm like, you know, I'm hitting times that I've never hit before. This is amazing. And I'd look over at him, and he's hitting the same times, but now he's doing it offhand, right? So he could shoot better offhand than I could shoot you know primary. But I was just glad that he'd gotten me to a phenomenal point where I was the best primary I ever could. So, right, there's a degree of humility to that too, right? Where you have to know that your own capabilities will either fail or not not reach the mentor's ability to teach you, because you have your own limitations, um, or sometimes you'll exceed your mentor, or your life will change and you'll need a new one. Um, you know, going back to the car analogy, right? There's a transmission in the car for a reason, right? Sometimes you're stopped at a stoplight, sometimes you're going 80 miles an hour. The rules change and the dynamics change when you are at those speeds, as will the transmission and everything else. Since you have, you're in charge of your own car. You're driving your own damn life, right? But to suddenly, I mean, let's get this thought out there, because some people may have it, to be driving and then like crash because you're doing 80 miles an hour and you didn't take the turn right or adjust for traffic and then turn to your mentor and be like, why didn't you teach me this? And be like, there's a degree of self-requirement and responsibility that you need to hold on to every piece of information coming to you and the type of mentor that could teach you what they can teach you. Um so yeah, that's a huge long way of explaining the complexities of mentorships as well as the benefits, right? Like, you still own that piece. You can't just hand that off just because you found somebody who can manage things a little bit better.

SPEAKER_02 37:43

No, I I think that's great advice, you know, taking ownership right away and figuring out where you want to go. Like, what's your destination? It's exactly like, hey, I want to get to this island. Well, you can't take an Uber, you know, like you're gonna need to get a captain, or is it the island big enough and it has an airstrip, you know, that you can land on. So yeah, where you're going is so important. And if you don't know that, go take a walk, silence yourself from the world, spend some time with yourself, and just think about what makes you happy. What's your drive? What do you do as hobbies? What what do you get sucked into that when you are in your off time? And then once you find your passion or your purpose, then now you know where to go and you can help find yourself a mentor and get there. So, all right, amazing stories, crazy life growing up. You've met some Green Berets, and you're like, hey, I kind of want to be one of these guys. Tell us about that. How'd that go and that that transition in life?

The Path To Becoming A Green Beret

SPEAKER_00 38:44

Um, so it starts with the so the very first Green Beret I ever met, his name was Danny. Met him in college. I was on the tail, I was three years in. I did a year of engineering, two years of business. I just hated college in general, right? Because it just wasn't teaching me what I needed to know. And at the time, I just wanted adventure. So I was the wrong fit for college. But then this guy's coming in, he's old, he's like 10 years older than everybody. He's got long flowing black hair. And my buddy uh Christian, uh sitting next to me, he's like, we like, we like talk to this guy, we're like, Who are you? What are you doing? He's a green beret, just got shot up, done with active service, now he's going, you know, to college. And we just I'm sure you've you've met these people where you walk into a room and you just resonate at the same vibration. And you're like, we don't have like we're just we just know each other. And that was we're all vibrating on the same resonance. And he was like, Come on over, we're gonna barbecue, whatever else. Find out that him and his you know, half of his ODA were gonna be there too. And they just start telling a story. And Danny's first story to me uh was they were in Afghanistan, Afghanistan trying to convince uh the Northern Alliance to work for him. One of the uh warlords was like, No, I'm not gonna get lend you my thousand dudes. And Danny's team was like, Okay, we we understand. They're like, but we still have to. We heard that your son needs to go to the next village. Can we escort him? And for his protection, they're like, yeah. Or the warlord's like, yeah. So they escort the son halfway through. There's an ambush. The son gets shot in the leg. Chinook or Blackhawk comes in. They load him up, take him to a hospital. They run back, get the warlord. Son's been shot. Don't worry. We got him in the best hospital in Afghanistan. Come on, let's go. They jump in. They fly the warlord over there. Warlord walks in, son's all bandaged up already. He's eating ice cream. He's got you know cute nurses all around him. The warlord's like, oh, of course I'm gonna let you have my guys. You just saved my son. Right. And then Danny starts laughing. We're like, what? He's like, no one told the warlord that I was 100 meters behind him with a 22 rifle and I shot the son in the ass and uh got the whole thing in motion. So I'm like, I'm sitting there, you know, you know, I'm an impressionable young college guy. I was like, oh my god, that's the job I want. You get paid to do this. Like, what are you doing? Like, I'm like like mid-beer. I'm like, oh my god. And he's like, yeah, you just be a green beret. I'm like, oh my god, I didn't want you to be a green. So, you know, uh I had a girlfriend at the time who's like, well, if you become a green beret, we can't be together. I'm like, oh, love, I love story, and don't ever chase love. But uh, my point being, that ended. Ending a couple years later, a guy comes in after hours. He's like, I want a steak, I want a bottle of wine. I'm like, okay, well, restaurant's closed, and and here's my favorite bottle of wine. He's like, give me that steak. I'm like, yeah. So I call the manager at uh, I think it was Ruth Chris next door. Like, hey, I know it's late. Do you guys have a steak? And she's like, Yeah, she brings whatever. I pay for it, a hundred bucks. And uh the guy eats it. He's like, that's amazing. That's great. What are you doing? Where are you going? He's like, Well, you know, I'm going to Afghanistan. And uh, I'll just see you later. I'm like, okay, cool. See you later, whatever. You know, doing my thing for the troops type thing. Six months later, some dude shows up at my bar. He's got this big beard. He's as dark as as the wood on your back shelf. He's got sand coming out of his wrinkles on his face. And I'm like, oh crap, because this is a nice bar in DC, right? He comes in, he's like, sir, can I help you? He's like, I want that same damn steak and the same bottle of wine you got me six months ago. I was like, oh, it's you. Turns out he was a Green Beret. And so we start talking. I'm like, you know, your timing's pretty good because like next week I'm looking for a career change, right? I'm done being a bartender. You can't be a bartender for too long without being a vampire and like, you know, committing to that lifestyle. And I was like, this isn't a lifestyle I want to be in, but I'll do it and I'm glad I did it. And he's like, you know, go to the recruiter, ask him for an 18 x-ray contract, and good luck from there. And I'm like, okay, cool. I was like, you want me to tell you how it goes? He's like, no, I don't never want to talk to you again. I'm like, what do you mean? And he's like, I've told many people to go get an 18 x-ray contract, and they've all failed. I'm like, I appreciate that. And so I go to the recruiter and I'm like, hey, I want an 18x-ray contract. The recruiter shakes his head. I'm like, why are you shaking your head? And he's like, because I've sent seven people and none have made it. And I was like, okay, send me. I'll be your eighth. I'll make it. Right? We'll fix those statistics for you. Three years later, uh uh, you know, putting on my green beret, I'm an 18 Delta and I'm bright-eyed, bushy-tailed. I was like, oh my God. I I I and then I I I wrote a letter to the recruiter, uh, to the recruiter's office. I put the uh the recruiter's uh name on there. I was like, I don't know if he's still there, but I want you guys to know that you know I made it, I was his eighth. And um, yeah, and so that opened the door. But what's interesting in the decision-making process, right? Because people get hung up on trying to find all the answers all the time. But like I went in as an 18 Delta, I could do maybe 40, or I went in to the army, right? Infantry, airborne, then special forces. Yeah, I could only do like 30 push-ups. I could run a really bad two mile. Yeah, I could do barely, you know, normal, whatever a bartender can do for sit-ups, right? But by the end of it, you know, I was I was I was crushing it, I was maxing out the PT test. But the point of it is like I've mentored guys on, yeah, I want to be an 18, I want to be in special forces. They'll call me or they'll let me know. I was like, great, get the recruiter, do this workout regime and and just go. And they're like, okay. And then I'll check in on them like two, three months later. I was like, what's going on? They're like, oh, you know, life got in the way, and you're just like, okay, so you were never serious about it, right? You thought you were serious about it, and maybe good for them. They learned that they weren't serious about it. But so it's really easy to be excited about something. It's really hard to just say, no, I'm gonna do it. I'm not gonna figure out everything right now. I'm just going to do it. It's like uh when when uh Hannibal burned all the ships, right? He's like, this is the plan, and this is the only plan we're doing, and we're not gonna get distracted by other plans, right? Though there's a saying, the only thing worse than a good plan is a better plan, because now you deviate. And so, yeah it's it's you know, so becoming a green beret was literally a, do I want it? Yes, because I want adventures like these guys. Do I want to solve big problems and important problems? Yes. How do I do that? Right? And there's there's a story of a uh a teacher talking to a to a student, asks the student, what do you want to be? She's like, I want to be an astronaut. The teacher's like, Oh, you've got to be really good at mathematics and science and flying and physically fit. And the student's like, I mean, young kids, like, oh, that's like only four things, right? Like, and so like, if you can distill it down to the fundamental things that you want to do in life and how you want to do it, you can go do it. You but the more you overthink, the more you're probably not ever going to do it. And so when I chose to be a Green Beret, it was, oh, I really like Danny's stories, I really like this guy's stories. I'm gonna go and sign up. And speed bump was, oh, you know, seven have gone, none have made it. And I was like, okay, why do they fail? Because of all these reasons. Like, great, I'm not, I'm going to try to make it, but I'm not going to fail at these issues. And, you know, and it was hard. I mean, selection was hard, you know, the Q course was hard. The H and Delta course was brutal. Uh I think out of the graduate or the 18 X-ray starting class and basic training of like 80 dudes, right? Two to two companies worth, I think maybe 10 of us made it. Right. But we didn't quit. We didn't, yeah, every time there was a speed bump, which there were many. Every time there was a flat tire in life, which were many, the faster you change that flat tire and get back on the road, it's the faster you get back on the road. You know, the faster you you have to slow down for the speed bump, because you hit that thing at full speed, you're going to destroy your own car, right? You have to be you have to be cognizant enough to do that too. Because you saw a bunch of guys that were going 100 miles an hour looking great and didn't take the turn, right, and hit the wall. Uh, you know, so you know the balance is there, but um, yeah, yeah. Uh trying to figure out how to become a Green Beret was easy. The choice to try to be a Green Beret was easy. Getting through it was difficult and challenging. Um but at no point did I quit or allow myself to quit. And then but just it's just a hat, right? It's the color of a hat when you put it on. King in special operations, that was an entire character experience as well. Because now you have to actually be that uh be the guy in the door. You have to be the person willing to answer the question. I've been I mean, I've been fired, right? Uh I have the interesting experience of having been on one of the last special forces teams out of Afghanistan, leaving. And I was the second in command of the last special forces team out of Helmand. And Helmand was right there next to Iran, right there next to Pakistan, right there uh at the poppy growing fields. We were about 30 miles from Musakala, which is Taliban HQ. And so we're at the crossroads of a lot of problems. And sitting there and being like, oh man, this is this is 2021, tail end of my career. And I'm sitting there, I'm like, okay, this is going to test the living crap out of my every fiber in my bot being. I was getting four hours of sleep a night. I was like, okay, how do I not have emotional diarrhea when I'm tired when my guys come ask me for questions, right? So now I gotta really control myself. I gotta manage all these really dynamic situations. Oh yeah, and if that wasn't enough, freaking National Geographic was filming us, right? So they've embedded with us for already 60 uh, not 60 days, six months, all during train up. And then they were there, camera in our faces every day for the next several months, saying, How do you feel about this? What are you doing? How are you doing this? Why are you doing this? Have you called home? And that opened, you know, I've been deployed more than 20 times in uh my career, but that opened a really odd psychological door that I'd never experienced before. We're like, you know, if you or I we're in a shoot house, using this analogy, and we go in and we clear the house and we we do the job, you know, and then somebody asks us at the end of it, how did you feel about that? We're like, we didn't feel a damn thing. We just did it, right? It's all autopilot. It's it's autopilot. You've just done it. And everybody's like, oh my God, how could you have done that? It's like because all the thinking happened in the years prior when we were training, right? Now this was the doing phase. And so being in the doing phase with like literally a camera in your face, and uh one of the guys uh was Tim Gruchka and another guy was Olivier Sarbille. Olivier is French, right? He's Corsac and French. So when he talks to you, he's like, Yes, how do you feel about this?

SPEAKER_01 49:27

And you're like, oh my Pepe Le Pew is asking me Dr. Phil level questions right now, and I'm trying to go kill that guy. Don't talk to me, you know? Like, I don't want to know how I feel about this because that's a conflict of action and feeling.

SPEAKER_02 49:42

And so uh Yeah, I'm in robot green green beret mode right now. Like emotions flipped off, I'm switched on, I'm doing my job, I'm blowing doors. Yeah, I can't imagine having a press or a national geographic. Like, I think about my time in Afghanistan and what we were doing. We had two missions we ran, and we had uh, you know, a camera guy from the army, and we were like a little weirded out. Yeah, he's a great guy, don't get me wrong. He took some great pictures, but like I couldn't imagine a press type for the deployment.

SPEAKER_00 50:17

Woo the deployment and then the responsibility of the collapse and exit, right? So not not now inadvertently, we are the face of special operations as we're leaving Afghanistan. The movie came out uh called Retrograde, won three Emmys, Oscar shortlisted, all this other wonderful things. Um, and then uh it got pulled, uh Disney pulled it because there were some security concerns. Um but to have been responsible for you know controlling yourself, managing yourself, managing your emotions, managing everybody else's emotions, and then being cognizantly aware that if this movie comes out, as you know, President Biden is announcing the withdrawal, as the Taliban's encroaching, as like your partners are texting, hey, we're dying, can you help us evacuate? And you're like, uh, what emotion am I going to express right now if it's all going to be captured forever? The camera's right here. Yes, how do you feel about this? Yeah. And you're like, I don't have the bandwidth to feel anything about this. Yeah, I'm glad it happened. It was an amazing adventure, but yeah, the emotional burden on that like kicked my ass and kick a lot of other guys' ass. Because uh, yeah, the frustration I'm sure that you felt and a lot of operators felt, right, as we were leaving Afghanistan, like we felt it too. Um, but now we felt extra responsibil responsible for it because now we were on the face of it. Uh and so you look at all that and you know, yeah, I I I'm a reflect I I like to reflect on myself and be like, okay, did I do things right? Did I do things wrong? What could I do better in the future, right? I think there's a feedback loop there where you have to accept the fact, as if you're raising kids, you know, like they're gonna get it wrong most of the time. And you say, hey, but this one thing you did right, double up on that, right? And then just trust the system that they will grow into the success. And so but you have to carry that forward. I think as especially special operators, right? We can be so hard on ourselves. Like, oh yeah, I might have done 99 shots right, but that one shot, the the flyer right there in the C zone, I'm a shitbag, right? Or like that guy like accidentally did something you know wrong. It's like, hold on, let's take a deep breath. It happened because we're human, right? As as close to above human as we want to believe we are, and sometimes we do amazing things, we're still human, and that learning cycle is still relevant. And I think some people can lose sight of that, and this ties into your mentorship question, right? Some people can learn lose sight of that internally, and so when you code them to ask to be uh if they can be your mentor, or if they're judging you rightfully or wrongfully, if it they've lost sight of the fact that they too once had a bad day, or they too once had a first day in the shoot house, that makes it for a little contentious kind of thing, because then they have to believe that that they are the best. And they're like, wait a second, you've never had a bad day? Yeah, you've never actually had to learn something and fail during the learning process to then get better. Like uh, you know, so it's it's a complex situation. I'm glad I'm you know, I have my kids now because they're they're forcing me to be humble, right? Like, okay, like I love these little children. Like they're they're monkeys, sometimes they're terrorists in their own right, and but I love them and I want them to be successful. So how do I celebrate their wins while ignore? I mean, like yesterday, uh so my kid, uh my older kid got a dove for his birthday, right? He's like, he's like, Dad, I really want a dove. I'm like, I don't know where this is coming from, but okay, we we got him a dove. Cook we we're eating dinner, big old pot of uh spaghetti and meatballs, and uh the dove flies out of its its uh cage and flies and lands in the spaghetti and meatballs that we're all about to eat and starts eating it. And I'm just like, my and like we're all laughing. I'm like, oh my god, I guess it's not gonna be spaghetti and meatballs tonight. Yeah. There's a bird in our spaghetti in our dinner. Uh and then the bird flies out and there's spaghetti sauce kind of flapping everywhere. And you're just like, I have two options right now. I'm gonna choose the option to laugh.

SPEAKER_01 54:20

Yeah, because this is hilarious. And but there could have been other people that'd be like, oh, this is terrible, this is a catastrophe, right?

Selection, Persistence, And Limits

SPEAKER_00 54:28

But like you're a mentor at the end of the day, especially as the children, right? They're looking at you, whether you know it or not, and they're gonna model their behavior off your behavior. And so going to, you know, the complexities, and this is now we're stringing this all together, which is pretty beautiful. Going to the complexities of that, it's like speedlumps are gonna happen, flat tires are gonna happen, right? But just quitting on the side of the road is not an option for guys like you or me. It's not an option for my kids, um, knowing that they have to learn what that means for themselves, though, right? And so, um, but you know, rest stops exist for a reason. Pull over, you know, take a nap, do whatever. And so there has to be a balance. If you want to make it in this life successfully, you're gonna have to learn when it's a pit stop, flat tire, speed bump, traffic, you know, whatever. I think I think we could figure out make an analogy off this, like for days.

SPEAKER_02 55:22

Oh, yeah, absolutely. And when you get out to change your tire, don't start smashing the ground or punch the side of your car or create other problems or get mad and throw something down and then it bounces up and don't do it in the middle of the road, right?

SPEAKER_01 55:36

Like pull over. You're smart about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 55:39

No, that's a great point too. You know, like when those things happen, stop, think, observe, and plan. That's an analogy I use. Stop. You know, I tell guys that I use that sometimes when I'm talking to people when they're having an issue. It's like, just stop. And they're like, okay, and what? And I'm like, no, stop, think, observe, and plan, or proceed, either way you want to do it. And boy, that can make a world of difference. So um, hey, I want to say, congratulations on the most challenging and exciting job being a dad now. It's like Green Beret stuff, teenage years come and being a dad.

SPEAKER_01 56:15

Woo!

SPEAKER_02 56:16

Yeah, I really worst job.

unknown 56:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 56:18

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I love it. Being a dad is amazing. Um, I'm sure you're seeing, and I can tell you're doing a great job of it because you're 10-year-old schooling adults. It's so much fun when they do that. You know, I got to do something like that with my son one time for one of his teachers, and this is one of his favorite stories, absolute favorite stories that he loves to share. You know, he had this teacher that was a math teacher, and he was struggling, and he was failing. And, you know, so there's parent-teacher conference. I go in, and the teacher's explaining how he's failing. He's like, But don't feel bad. Half the class is right where your son is and struggling. And I'm like, half, half is 50%, right? He's like, Yeah. I'm like, okay. So my son got a 50% on a test. You'd say he's failing. So you, as the teacher, have 50% of the class doesn't understand. So that means you're failing. And my son was like, yeah, and that teacher, let's say they weren't very happy and whatnot. But um, yeah, you you gotta lead by example, show them the way, don't get mad, you know, just talk to them, share.

SPEAKER_00 57:32

You can allow yourself to be mad, right? But don't like extrapolate that madness.

SPEAKER_02 57:36

Yes, that's a great point. Great point. Yes. You're gonna be mad, you're gonna have anger in life, but don't let it control you. Use it, funnel it, you know, let it feed you in a positive way if you want to make a change because something made you mad, absolutely. But uh man, this is so much fun. I can't get over. We've already got an hour. So uh this is yeah, this is and your stories are great. I feel like we need to do maybe another episode.

SPEAKER_00 58:00

I'm an author now, so like I'm like all stories. It's great.

SPEAKER_02 58:03

Yeah, I love it. So uh for the audience, the asset mindset audience, please give them some nuggets of knowledge. What would you like to have them walk away with? I mean, obviously you shared a lot, but what do you want to drive home at the end?

SPEAKER_00 58:19

I mean, you know, going to let's say going to the core idea that we were talking about, like you're the driver in your own car of life.

unknown 58:27

Right?

SPEAKER_00 58:28

Anything you're gonna experience while driving to work or home or et cetera, um, are things you're reasonably experience in life. And but at the same time, I think you need to offer yourself grace. Because if I gave my keys, car keys to my kids, said, Hey, go pick me up a carton of milk, right, at the store down the street, here's the cars, like they're gonna freak out, they're gonna fail in the whole process. They're probably not even gonna make it out of the garage, right? So, like if you are, if you find yourself like very well experienced and somebody's coming up behind you asking for help or struggling, be patient enough to say, hey, like I've been in your situation before. Can I help? May I offer some advice? And then do it in a not not a not an arrogant way, not a way that makes you haughty, but just be like, hey, I've been there before. Can I just give you one nugget of advice? And uh, I mean, if if we all did that, like I think I think the collaboration and collaboration in life would increase, frustrations would decrease like dramatically across the board. So and people would find themselves in a much m calmer place, being like, yeah, like you're right. I've been there and I did a lot of things right. Maybe did I do one or two things wrong, yeah, but I can improve that next go around. So, you know, uh work together. Like, yeah. I wish I had something more succinct, but like, you know, tag taglines. You've shared so much.

SPEAKER_02 59:51

Uh you you're your just ability to demonstrate how to overcome things and to be assertive. Transform, you know, your life or transform to the situation, your analogies with the car using the transmission. And while we're talking about cars, I'm going to throw in again. Don't get stuck looking in the rearview mirror. Yeah, don't crash. Yes. You need to look what's going on. Now you can reference your past briefly, like you do when you glance up at that mirror and to see, okay, but you need to be looking at the windshield or out that direction. Where are you going? Where do you want to go in life? So everybody, thank you for being a part of this episode. And I am just so glad to have guests like you. Man, brother, you are just an amazing human being. I love what you're doing. Um, if there's anything I can never do to support anything you got going on, I'll be honored. And of course, everybody, please pause, like, and subscribe because it costs you nothing and it really helps get amazing stories and amazing guests out there for other people to learn about life. Because that's what we're here to do, make the world a better place. And I want to say thank you to everyone. Thank you, Yatsik. And of course, please do not forget, everyone out there, own your power.