Part 1: The Cost of Caring Too Much - When Caring Turns Into Self-Abandonment Artwork

Hidden in Plain Sight - ADHD, ASD, OCD & OCPD - The Often Missed Diagnoses Driving Overthinking, People Pleasing, Perfectionism, Self-Doubt, and Burnout

You’re overwhelmed and tired, mentally, emotionally, maybe even physically. You overthink everything, feel like you're never doing enough, and constantly worry about what others think of you. You're stuck in cycles of procrastination, perfectionism, or people-pleasing. Social situations can feel draining, and even rest doesn’t feel restful.

You’re the one who holds it together. You care deeply and try so hard to be good and helpful, while quietly unraveling inside. You get things done, but you never feel done. You never feel rested. You never feel right.

You find yourself endlessly doom-scrolling, withdrawing from others into books or your phone, and struggling to feel motivated. If this sounds familiar and nothing seems to be helping, you’re not alone. You’ve just been hidden in plain sight.

Hidden in Plain Sight is a podcast for people-pleasing, perfectionistic, over-giving women who can't seem to find relief. Hosted by psychologist Dr. Lauren Schaefer, this show explores the hidden diagnoses behind lifelong anxiety, depression, self-doubt, shame, and burnout among women whose symptoms have been written off as "just anxiety and/or depression." This is a podcast for deep-feeling, overthinking women who’ve been called too sensitive, too anxious, too intense, or too much, when really, they’ve just been misunderstood.

We’ll talk about the perfectionism that may have developed to hide your ADHD, or the obsessive-compulsive personality traits to overcompensate for neurodivergent executive dysfunction; the intrusive, obsessive thoughts that rule your mind. We will touch on your ability to be a chameleon in relationships, taking on the personality of those around you, and not knowing who you are outside of your relationships. We'll explore how emotional intelligence, people pleasing, an overcontrolled personality, and hypervigilant masking can hide neurodivergent wiring, leading to late diagnosis and poor self-image. We'll explore how your unique nervous system wiring translates physically and common co-occurring physical health issues. And you'll learn strategies to quiet your mind and calm your body.

Here you’ll find language for your exhaustion, compassion for your coping, and a mirror that finally reflects the truth: You were never too much. You were just unseen. This is a place to unmask, unravel, and understand the real reasons it’s always felt harder than it looked.

All Episodes

Hidden in Plain Sight - ADHD, ASD, OCD & OCPD - The Often Missed Diagnoses Driving Overthinking, People Pleasing, Perfectionism, Self-Doubt, and Burnout

Part 1: The Cost of Caring Too Much - When Caring Turns Into Self-Abandonment

November 19, 2025 • Dr. Lauren Schaefer • Season 1 • Episode 8

0:00 | 32:48

Dr. Lauren Schaefer unpacks the psychology of overgiving and explores the quiet slide from compassion into self-erasure. We explore when empathy becomes vigilance, when connection becomes labor, and when our nervous system mistakes intensity for intimacy. Through attachment, trauma bonding, and neurodivergent wiring, we’ll look at why these patterns form and the addictive push-pull that keeps so many deep feelers stuck in relationships that drain them.

We’ll learn why “caring harder” becomes a reflex, and why certain patterns feel magnetic even when they’re painful. A validating exploration of overgiving, for anyone who feels like they’re always managing the emotional weather around them.

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Dr. Lauren Schaefer - Hidden in Plain Sight Podcast