Hidden in Plain Sight - ADHD, ASD, OCD & OCPD - The Often Missed Diagnoses Driving Overthinking, People Pleasing, Perfectionism, Self-Doubt, and Burnout
You’re overwhelmed and tired, mentally, emotionally, maybe even physically. You overthink everything, feel like you're never doing enough, and constantly worry about what others think of you. You're stuck in cycles of procrastination, perfectionism, or people-pleasing. Social situations can feel draining, and even rest doesn’t feel restful.
You’re the one who holds it together. You care deeply and try so hard to be good and helpful, while quietly unraveling inside. You get things done, but you never feel done. You never feel rested. You never feel right.
You find yourself endlessly doom-scrolling, withdrawing from others into books or your phone, and struggling to feel motivated. If this sounds familiar and nothing seems to be helping, you’re not alone. You’ve just been hidden in plain sight.
Hidden in Plain Sight is a podcast for people-pleasing, perfectionistic, over-giving women who can't seem to find relief. Hosted by psychologist Dr. Lauren Schaefer, this show explores the hidden diagnoses behind lifelong anxiety, depression, self-doubt, shame, and burnout among women whose symptoms have been written off as "just anxiety and/or depression." This is a podcast for deep-feeling, overthinking women who’ve been called too sensitive, too anxious, too intense, or too much, when really, they’ve just been misunderstood.
We’ll talk about the perfectionism that may have developed to hide your ADHD, or the obsessive-compulsive personality traits to overcompensate for neurodivergent executive dysfunction; the intrusive, obsessive thoughts that rule your mind. We will touch on your ability to be a chameleon in relationships, taking on the personality of those around you, and not knowing who you are outside of your relationships. We'll explore how emotional intelligence, people pleasing, an overcontrolled personality, and hypervigilant masking can hide neurodivergent wiring, leading to late diagnosis and poor self-image. We'll explore how your unique nervous system wiring translates physically and common co-occurring physical health issues. And you'll learn strategies to quiet your mind and calm your body.
Here you’ll find language for your exhaustion, compassion for your coping, and a mirror that finally reflects the truth: You were never too much. You were just unseen. This is a place to unmask, unravel, and understand the real reasons it’s always felt harder than it looked.
Episodes
13 episodes
Not Unloved, Just Unheld: For the One Who Holds Everyone Else
In this episode, I’m sharing a love letter for the ones who always show up. The steady ones.The thoughtful ones.The people who anticipate needs before they’re spoken and feel the shift in a room before anyone names it....
When Your Mind Doesn't Stop: A Gentle Reset for Racing Thoughts and Restless Bodies
Learning to Settle Busy Minds with Somatic ToolsThis guided practice is designed for overactive minds and over-activated nervous systems. Instead of trying to quiet your thoughts, we use simple body-based regulation tools to help your ne...
Learn to Breathe With Me - Guided Practice for Anxious Minds and Bodies
If breathing exercises have ever felt uncomfortable, overwhelming, or hard to follow, you’re not alone. We’ll keep this simple, slow, and flexible. This practice includes tactile and visual strategies to help you better engage the diaphragm and...
Part Two: The Cost of Caring Too Much - Coming Home to Yourself
TL/DR Episode Summary: This episode explores the tender line between empathy and emotional fusion, and why so many sensitive, overgiving women lose themselves while trying to care for others. If you’ve ever felt responsible for someone el...
Part 1: The Cost of Caring Too Much - When Caring Turns Into Self-Abandonment
Dr. Lauren Schaefer unpacks the psychology of overgiving and explores the quiet slide from compassion into self-erasure. We explore when empathy becomes vigilance, when connection becomes labor, and when our nervous system mistakes intensity fo...
From Triggered to Grounded: Why Calm Feels So Hard (and How to Find It Anyway)
Ever feel like you know you’re overreacting but can’t stop? Dr. Lauren Schaefer breaks down why frustration hits harder for sensitive, high-alert nervous systems, and how small shifts in thought, breath, and rhythm can rebuild your fru...
When Control Becomes the Cage: Letting Go of Anxious Safety Behaviors
In this episode, we dig into the quiet habits that masquerade as “self-care” but actually keep us trapped in anxiety, what therapists call safety behaviors. A safety behavior is anything you do to try to feel less anxious, uncertain, o...
Why I Created the Hidden in Plain Sight Podcast
This brief episode explores the purpose of this podcast and why it was created. So many women look fine on the outside, capable, kind, accomplished, while quietly suffering on the inside. Hidden in Plain Sight is for the on...
Is It Anxiety or OCD? Understanding Overthinking
If you’ve ever found yourself thinking and thinking and thinking, turning a situation over in your mind like a Rubik’s cube, trying to find the right feeling, the right explanation, the right evidence that you’re safe or good or okay—t...
When the Mind Won’t Stop Checking: OCD and Mental Compulsions
In this episode, Dr. Lauren Schaefer unpacks the often invisible or overlooked side of OCD, mental compulsions. While many people associate OCD with visible rituals or checking behaviors, for others the compulsions happen largely in the mind: r...
Healing After Betrayal: Learning to Feel Your Feelings With Self-Compassion
Welcome back to the Hidden in Plain Sight Podcast.TLDR SummaryThis episode is an invitation to pause those harsh inner narratives and discover another way forward in feeling your emotions: self-compassion. Together, we’ll e...
Inhale. Exhale. Settle: A Quick Nervous System Tune-Up for the Wired and Tired
In this calming episode of Hidden in Plain Sight, we slow everything down. If you've been feeling overstimulated, anxious, burnt out, or like your body is buzzing but your brain can’t settle, this one’s for you.Join Dr. Lauren Schaefer ...
Facing the Storm – The Buffalo Metaphor for Moving Through Discomfort
In this guided mindfulness meditation, we draw inspiration from the buffalo—an animal known for its bold choice to run toward storms rather than away from them. This metaphor becomes a powerful lens for exploring how we relate to emotional disc...