🎙️ Podcast #51 No One Talks About This Part — When Love, Loss, and Life Collide

Most personal development and manifestation advice will tell you to stay positive, shift your mindset, and keep your vibration high.

But what about the moments when life feels heavy… raw… and completely out of your control?

In this episode, Dustin Wheeler opens up about a deeply personal experience and shares the side of growth that is rarely talked about — the part where you’re grieving, feeling everything, and still trying to navigate your life.

This conversation explores the difference between suffering and being present with something that truly matters, and why so much of the advice in the spiritual and personal development space can unintentionally lead to self-abandonment.

Inside this episode:

• The truth about emotional depth and real-life moments
• Why “high vibe only” advice can be harmful
• How to stay connected to yourself during difficult seasons
• The role of love and grief in the human experience
• A powerful reflection inspired by the film Collateral Beauty

If you’ve been feeling like you have to hold it all together or perform your way through hard moments, this episode will remind you:

You are not broken.
You are the creative force within.
And you don’t have to abandon yourself to create your life.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

So I didn't record the podcast yesterday. And for the first time since I started this podcast, I let myself not show up. Not because I don't care. Not because I'm inconsistent. But because life was hitting in a way that no amount of mindset, manifestation, or just shift your energy could override. So my cat Simba is declining. And yesterday I spent most of the day crying in the sun with him. And this is the part that no one really talks about. The part where you are so present, so aware, so cracked open by love that it almost hurts to breathe. And not because something is wrong, but because you can feel how much you love something and really how little control you have over what happens next. And this is where I'm going to say something that might make some people really uncomfortable. There's a level of advice in the personal development and manifestation world that is not just unhelpful in moments like this. It's actually harmful because it tells you just shift your state. Everything happens for a reason. Stay high vibe. Don't sit in negative emotions too long. And what that subtly teaches you is that there is something wrong with you for feeling something that is actually completely fucking human. And listen, there's a difference between being stuck in suffering and being present with something that matters deeply to you. And I want to tell you that this isn't misalignment. This isn't you being low vibe. This is love without a filter. And if you haven't seen it, it's an amazing movie with Will Smith where Will Smith loses his daughter and he starts writing letters to time, death, and love. And there's this monologue that love does. And I'm not going to read it all to you, but it's super powerful. And it's been just reeling in my head the past couple of months. We don't get to choose who we love or who loves us back. And that means you're powerless to me as long as you're alive, because I'm the fabric of life. I'm within you. I'm within everything. I'm in all of it. I'm in the darkness and the light. I'm in the sunshine and the storm. And yes, you're right. I was there in her laugh. But I'm also here now in your pain. I'm the reason for everything. And yesterday wasn't a bad day. It was a real day. A day where I sat in the sun with something that I love deeply. And let myself feel it. No fixing, no reframing. I'm trying to make it mean something bigger. Just being there. Holding grief and gratitude at the same time. And I want to say something to the person listening right now who is going through something heavy, but no one really knows how heavy it is. You're showing up during the day, you're answering messages, you're smiling when you need to. But at night when it gets quiet, that's when it hits. That's when the weight shows up. That's when the thoughts get louder. And that's when you realize how alone you feel in it. I want you to know I see you. And that there is nothing wrong with you for feeling this way. You are not off track. You are not failing your mindset, and you are not backsliding. You are in a moment that matters. The goal isn't to escape the heart. So if you've been the one trying to hold it all together or feeling like you have to perform your way through heavy moments because nobody sees you. You don't. And there's a way to create your life without abandoning yourself in the process, even in the storms. And if you want a space where you can actually be real and learn how to create from that place, then I invite you to join us in my community on school, the spiritually kinky community for creators. And I want to remind you, babe, that you are not broken. You are the creative force within. And whether you're here to be a little bit spiritual or you're here to be a little bit kinky, or you're here like me to be a whole lot of both, because creation is one of the kinkiest things that you will ever do. Lead with love, my friends. And in case nobody told you today, I see you, I feel you, and I love you, and you are not alone.