B+ with Krista Gregg

How to Talk to Your Kids About Depression: Kendall Concini’s Cloudy Day Story

• Bright Sky House • Season 1 • Episode 5

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Kendall Concini, a mental health advocate and author, who shares her journey of navigating mental health challenges while parenting, discusses her experiences with depression, ADHD, and the importance of building a supportive community. She emphasizes the need for open conversations about mental health, especially in parenting, and introduces her book that aims to help children understand emotions through the metaphor of clouds. The conversation highlights the significance of vulnerability, support systems, and the power of storytelling in addressing mental health issues.

Takeaways

  • Parenthood can be challenging, especially with mental health issues.
  • Building a supportive community is essential for mental well-being.
  • Kendall's family dynamics played a significant role in her journey.
  • Understanding mental health can take time and self-reflection.
  • Fostering helped Kendall build confidence in her parenting abilities.
  • Preparing for postpartum challenges is crucial for new mothers.
  • Open communication with partners is key to a healthy relationship.
  • Kendall's cloud analogy helps explain emotions to her children.
  • Writing a book became a way for Kendall to share her story and connect with others.

About B+ with Krista Gregg

In B+, host Krista Gregg sits down with people who’ve faced life’s messiest, most meaningful moments—and kept going. From unexpected struggles to hard-won growth, each guest shares what they’ve learned about resilience, purpose, and the power of real connection.

This podcast doesn’t promise perfection. It celebrates the process.

Produced by Bright Sky House — bringing hidden stories to light.

Mental Health Resources

  • 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988 for free, 24/7, confidential support for mental health crises, suicidal thoughts, or emotional distress.
  • Find a Therapist: Search for licensed therapists near you through directories like Psychology Today, TherapyDen, or Mental Health Match.
  • Join a Support Group: Connect with others through peer-led or professionally facilitated support groups via NAMI or GriefShare.

Stay Connected with B+

Instagram: @BrightSkyHouse
Facebook: Bright Sky House
YouTube: Bright Sky House Official
LinkedIn: Bright Sky House

If you have questions or would like to follow-up with any of our guests, reach out to Hello@BrightSkyHouse.com.

B+ is available wherever you listen to podcasts.

Hi everyone, it's Krista Gregg with Be Positive, and today's episode is one I hope every parent listens to. My guest is Kendall Koncini, a mom, mental health advocate, and the creator of Cloudy Day Chronicles, which is a children's book series and a blog that helps families talk about emotions in a way that actually makes sense to kids. Kendall shares her story of navigating anxiety, depression, ADHD, a miscarriage, and postpartum challenges, all while building a family rooted in love, honesty, and emotional awareness. This conversation is emotional and full of practical insight. If you've ever wondered how to talk about mental health with your kids, this one's for you. Thanks for listening. Hi everyone, is Krista with Be Positive and thank you all for joining us for another awesome episode. I am joined today. by Kendall Conchini, and hope I'm saying that right, Conchini. And she approached Bright's Guidehouse with a great story of finding new and unique ways to talk with her family and especially young ones about those cloudy days that sometimes some of us have. And Kendall, without me spoiling anything and diving too deep, why don't you say hi to everybody and quickly give us a brief intro? Hi, you have it on Kendall. I am very excited to talk about mental health. I feel like that has been my kind of badge. I'm a mom, a mental health advocate, and just love reading and everything with my children and the journey that we've taken together. So I'm happy for this opportunity. So I'm so glad to have you here and people can find you on cloudydaychronicles.wordpress.com and also on instagram.com at the handle cloudydaychronicles. And what are you trying to do on these communities? What is your hope and goal? So I know we're going to get into a little bit of that, but when it came to parenthood, it was something where I was trying to figure out how can I shape my parenthood journey when I have this kind of mental health aspect about me and not have it define me and not be hesitant going into enjoying my family and our life together. And so when I began parenthood, I was really looking for resources out there to have that conversation. And when I couldn't... find the resources, I want it to be the one to create it because I have built with family and friends a really great foundation and I know I'm not alone in what I'm going through and I don't want anyone else to feel like they're alone. And so the more we talk about things, the more we create the community, uh know, parenthood, takes a village. And so I'm trying to start that, that village. And these are often conversations that we don't really know where to turn or look to. So I love that if you're not finding something, you're building something. And that really inspires me. And I think a lot of the people who are listening right now, if you don't see something that caters to your needs and wants, some of the best things you can do is just build it. Build it for you because someone else needs it too. And so let's start from the beginning. Talk to me a little bit about growing up and when you first started realizing that you did have this cloud hanging over you and that you did have some mental health. differences than other kids. Yeah. So I grew up in a very small town area. And with that comes a lot of narrow minded, this is what everything looks like. And when you're growing up and you don't look like the standard and you don't act like the standard and you like different things, it led to a lot of bullying and a lot of self doubt about what I liked and who I was and what my value was. So when you're growing up and I realized a lot of my friendships were just, that's what I can get. And I knew a lot of my friends were just, you know, people you go to school with and I wasn't seeing them outside of school. And this was not the time of social media. So you were really isolated once you were done. And so I always started to look at it like what was wrong with me. because I didn't seem like everyone else. And that was on just the fun stuff, honestly, the stuff that's out there now, loving fantasy books and being weird and wanting to climb trees and being quirky. And it really created a foundation where I had a lot of self-doubt and it was trying to fit in and friendships got into people pleasing. So I had to add value to someone. I was the one hosting the parties. I was the one offering the rides and So it sort of carried from there where I never really felt comfortable in my own skin. And so I had to constantly be achieving and constantly be producing. And then you get into, you you go away to college and you get outside of that small kind of narrow-minded thinking and you start to find people who accept you for who you are. And it was with that, that I was really able to look back and say, I was struggling then. Like I always put on a smile and I have really great memories. from my childhood and my family was there to support me. And I have some friends that I'm still friends with today, but you do get to unpack it when the world starts looking different. so recognizing that there was a stronger version and more authentic version of myself that I wanted to be. And a lot of times too, in college, I just remember the world just opens up. You have so many different people you can meet. You're not forced to be around the same people at all times. You also said you're growing up in a suburbia weird family. What was the family dynamics like with you and your parents? My mom is the fun character you can pull out of like all of my favorite books. My son is Max from Where the Wild Things Are because my mom grew up with that. We grew up with Alice in Wonderland and it was, you know, kind of challenged to have fun. She locks us outside and says, go make an adventure. And so in our small little like family unit, that made us eccentric. And when you're up against a lot of like step for this is what the standard looked like. Like we had pigs and chickens and we loved them and we named every single chicken and we enjoyed our little acre of land there. And we had a Creek in our backyard and we'd be in it every day getting dirty and playing and that just in our area was different. And so I felt like I was constantly kind of. fighting against hangouts, what they looked like, and what I actually wanted to go enjoy and do. Yeah, it sounds magical to me though. I mean, animals, you got a creek, you can play outside. It sounds like a really lovely childhood growing up. But when were you originally diagnosed? And how did that kind of all start forming and shaping? So I didn't get diagnosed until like adulthood where I really, it was something where I hadn't talked about it when I was younger and I was like, you know, maybe we go to therapy and we talk this out, but I would say it's a generational thing. Like it wasn't a thing in schools and you didn't have a counselor who was doing therapeutic aspects and you know, ADHD was just kind of. very defined a certain way and not as open minded. And so it was sort of in college when I really started to struggle. And then there was a lot of like internet resources out there and you had your advisor and counselors. I was able to sit down and say, I want to talk about some things a little bit deeper than just school. You know, what's going on when I go back to my dorm. And so at first it came getting diagnosed with like generalized anxiety disorder. But You know, myself personally, I'm not a medication person because I tend to get the side effects. So I was doing more of talk therapy and after a few rounds of talk therapy, really good therapists who I connected with was like, this is not just anxiety, this is depression. And then when I went into postpartum depression with the kids, which I know we had talked about, kind of I pre-set myself up when I was getting pregnant and saying, you know, before we even start, need a really good therapist because I know postpartum is going to hit. And then that therapist really unlocked ADHD. I hadn't really thought about it, but when she gave me a book and she gave me a chapter to read and it all clicked and I was like, okay, that fits with the depression. And so it felt kind of like... know, sometimes you just want to say, please let there be something wrong with me. So then you can start to use the tools and resources to understand it, not just go in and like fix, but really find coping strategies and mechanisms there. Did it feel finally having answers to how you were feeling? Felt good because very similar to childhood, like you think you're alone for so long and you have these thoughts and you bruminate them on them. I used to say when I first went to my therapist, like what a normal person think and she was so mad at me. She would say, you are a normal person. until you kind of get and understand like diagnosis is that a lot of people are going through, you think you're the only person in the world and that there's something. wrong with you. And so once you can really say, yeah, I have depression, and here's how I handle it. And here's why the world looks different to me, then you can find your people. And I have gotten to support groups, and I've been able to like talk through stuff, and you find your like minded people to kind of be your safety and your support and just not feel alone in all of it. So you're coming to terms and you're finding these support groups and you finally have the answers to how you're feeling. um You're moving forward in life and you're dating and you're getting really serious with your boyfriend at the time. talk to me a little bit about your mindset at this time. I am not quite sure how old you were or when the thoughts start coming up about having children, not having children, fostering and how that's affecting some of your decision-making at this point. Yeah, when I was younger, I mean, I know I'm extroverted and I'm outgoing. And so everyone just thinks like I'm a natural caregiver. And I am. I love throwing parties and I love working with children. I had never seen it in my future because an aspect of being good with working or hosting a party is you always get to go home to them the quiet and you don't have to be responsible for anyone else. If I went through that party and I was just smiling to be there and got home and fell apart, I knew that. I always worried what happens when you have kids and you're responsible for growing and developing this young mind when I thought mine was really kind of cloudy. And so when I was dating my husband, I just said I never wanted kids and he never really put pressure on it or asked why. He just kind of, knew I wanted to travel. He knew I already worked with them. And we would just kind of went about having a fantastic adventure together. We did end up volunteering to do Special Olympics and with that we just loved working with the athletes and we found an organization who had said they needed some respite help. And we looked into it and I said, yes, I would love to foster. I think I have done well working in the field. Fostering was respite. We'd have kids in our home. part of the time, and then you're focused on helping the family. So I didn't really have to look at what was going on with myself. So we would get kids for like a week here and there. We'd do some fostering. And it was really in there that, you know, to spoil something, some of the quotes from my book really are the direct quotes, what my husband would tell me throughout life. Like, you know, the depression's not all of you. It's just a part of you. he would tell me like it comes and goes and you know, this doesn't define you. And so I was really able to kind of sit and look and go see my inner strength that I didn't have from those high school days and kind of the self doubt started to drop a lot. And I decided, you know, we had one kid where she was very young and very hands on and we did so well having her in the house that I was like, maybe I could do this with this as my support. because the confidence he gave me. And so it was one Christmas, I had put pregnancy strips in a little kid's stocking and he opens it and he was like really confused. And I was like, you know what? We should try because between having like him and a really great support system and just knowing what I face, then we can get through it. And so we made the decision to have children and then everything went wrong. I had like my worst fear. I did, had a horrible miscarriage and I was like, this was my worst fear, like lived and it was really hard and I can still now look back and go, I honestly don't know how I made through it. Like people talk through depression and they talk through the hard times. He was there, it was like right around when COVID things were closing down so I couldn't have family come and do it. And then I thought, like, I can't go through that again. And that's when the... kind of depression cloud, which just, was living there. And it just took a strength of knowing, like we had said, you know, hello in a sense to this baby. I needed to talk through, you know, the rainbow babies and I needed to remind myself my own kind of cloud analogy and say, I can see the rainbow after this. And so we tried again and we had our daughter. And then we knew like... We knew we wanted to, so I kind of was like, all right, we're getting in a place of working through this and we're able to have a family now. But it wasn't an easy journey. And I know a lot of people don't like hearing that because motherhood, you're supposed to glow and everything. But I love my children and I don't regret it. And I am ready to talk. to them about it. You know, when I was pregnant, I even wrote a book to her. One of those like question everyday books. She can't have it till she's 18 because I did really struggle through it, but it was an honest approach to, hey, this was hard for mom and you're here and I just need you to know like this is how much love was there throughout this. I have so many thoughts. First of all, that book is amazing. sounds like when or if the time comes that she wants to be a mom herself, that may be such an important part of her story. Becoming a mom is reflecting that she's not alone when she has some harder moments because it'll happen. Being a mom isn't this glowy, perfect. I love my baby. We're bonding. It's amazing. And some people may have those experiences, but I think those are actually more far and few between. It's a really hard thing to be a parent. When it comes to your husband, What were the key building blocks for you guys, whether it be communication or emotionally bonding to make sure that you really had the support and the structure you needed and how did he start figuring out and understanding how you needed support through those cloudy days and through some depression? He is very patient. He is so patient. I don't know what's, what is going on. And he's just, he is. And, and I know he's going to listen to this and he's always okay with me being honest, but we were not good at it. We both had our own therapist at one point. uh My therapist at one point told us that we were like back to back with each other, like in a duel. And we were like facing the wrong way and working on stuff. It actually took just us being open to knowing that we weren't doing well at it. When we had met, like we just clicked. We were beach doubles partners for volleyball and we worked so well together. We liked all the same things. We were very close. So when we had to start going through some of the more troubling stuff, it was new to us. We were butting heads. I actually would send him articles and it would be a lot of, uh Your love language is you're helping me this way and that is not helping me. And I said, you need to like read this article. And if I don't hear these things said to me, like you're not doing it right. And it was some of those fights, honestly, where we would have to sit and talk through it, but also willingness to talk through it. We did get some great techniques where you do like, I have something I want to talk about. I'm going to tell you the topic. You tell me when you're ready. So it's not like. having that angry conversation right then and there. So a lot of pausing, a lot of patience with each other, and just also admitting that sometimes it didn't work and then we would try a different topic, which still happens as a parent. And we kind of do like having those conversations in front of our kids too, so they can see, you know, we're apologizing to each other. I'm telling dad, I need a minute. So then... You guys, it's OK if mom and dad are arguing with you and you need to tell mom you need a minute and then we'll all come back to it together. And so it's it's been a long learning process. think that's important for people to hear that this isn't something that just happens. You have to work at it. And it sounds like you guys really put in a lot of work and are continuing to have those open, hard... candor conversations, which is key, right, in all aspects of life. When you were fostering, what parts of you started building more confidence in this idea of, wait, maybe I could be a really good mom and maybe we could be a really good family and what really started shining through for you as you were bringing these kids into your life? Part of it was when we fostered, we had a very great opportunity where it was fostering with the idea of building the family. And so the parents were a part of our fostering. was generally not just kids that were taken away. Sometimes it was a single mother who's here doing a new job and she had to go to training for six months and she had no one to help her with her kids. So the choice was job or my kid. And so we would foster so she can go to that work training. When we were working with the families, my initial perception was like, okay, I don't have to be in this 24 seven because we're just doing respite and that is what felt overwhelming. Like what happens if I have a cloudy day? Well, we have people that can help us. Um, when we started it, that wasn't the reality. We were in it 24 seven and you had to just turn it on. And it really is like that mom's strength where it says like, you'll lift the car. Like I just started kind of finding. what was working for me to have that inner strength. And then the times when I thought a lot, I was like, my husband would have to go to work and I'd be like, oh, like, what am going to do by myself? And he'd be like, you got it. And then realizing, yeah, I had it. It was fine. Like the world didn't burn down. so being able to experience that enough with this really great team around us showed me that. I can do the same thing. Like we're in this situation where this village is built around this family and then being able to recognize like I have that too, so I can do this for myself. That's awesome. I love the idea of surprising Kim with your thoughts and intentions on Christmas the way that you did. I think that's so sweet. then what was, you knew yourself well enough at this point that you knew postpartum was going to be a very big component potentially of your experience. You created a pretty solid structure and plan it sounded like for. How do you anticipate what that's going to be like and how do you create a support system before it even happens so everybody's ready? What thinking went into that and what did that look like? So, and I know a lot of mothers are gonna really dislike me right now. I did not like being pregnant. I knew I wasn't gonna like it. Like the baby moving in the belly sensory, I was just like, I didn't. And then they showed her on like the screen and they surprised me and did the 3D and I was like, ew. And the tech was like, what do you mean, ew? And it was like, like it's like covered and goopy. And I don't know what you're. Yes. So it was. uh So I knew I was going to struggle with it. I knew I wasn't super looking forward to it, but I wanted like the end result and you can't rush it, which is also like, oh, it really takes nine months. uh So I went and I got uh a new therapist, one that like had expertise in kind of postpartum depression. And I started to talk them through and I said, you know, I need to like map out all the worst case scenarios here. Like what are the worst fears and what can we work on together? What are some techniques? I started to do research on like, you know, what happens during postpartum in those first few months, almost like that book, What to Expect When You're Expecting, but like the more mental health journey version on blogs. And I started to get those worst case scenarios and really sit and say like, how are we going to work through this? How can we make this game plan? And my husband and I kind of created just this blueprint of like, you know. when I'm home during maternity leave, if you're going back to work and it really is too hard for me, like, can you take your paternity leave the same time as mine? And so we created all of these like, here's the worst case, here's the plan. And in my head, that was just nice to know. So I didn't need it if I didn't need it, but I knew who was there and how they were going to help and support me. And so it was just kind of walking myself. through that and being intentional about it. think that's so smart and trying to foresee the future of all the different possibilities. But also working with your therapist, have you had the same therapist through the entire process of motherhood? Have you had the same support the whole time? Yeah, that's awesome. I can't imagine leaving mine and then having to re-share and we tell Oliver again. So having that support system is huge. So you did talk about your miscarriage, like worst case scenario happened. How did... you and your husband overcome that and find, I guess, the strength to try again. Again, a lot of people don't want to talk about stuff and part of that was really hard. So when it happened, like I said, it was during COVID and it was, you know, the world was kind of shutting down. And so a lot of it was, kind of had thought something was going wrong in the pregnancy, kept advocating, they weren't having appointments. stuff that I will still say like in my heart, I believe like if I had gotten in and got. someone to listen, then it could have went differently. And so when it happened, we, we left the house. Like we had been home, we had been far enough along. were like doing the nursery and doing everything. And so we found somewhere else to go. We left the house. We kind of like shut down and shut away. And then it was just like slowly rebuilding. But I think that's where like the hyper focus and the ADHD was like, no, like I had, I had what I wanted. And I was like, I need to just. try again and I need to like be successful at it. But it was questioning every day. was like, what if we try and it happens again? Or how am I really going to get through like the weeks of waiting again and getting to like the safe spot and then you think you're at the safe spot and you're not. And so that was really like worst fear lived and it helped to have the friends who let me call them at any time, just like randomly crying about the same thing. the therapist who's like, okay, no, I need a session on the same thing we talked about last week because it's not done. And then I did a lot of journaling and just kind of repetitive, like trying to convince myself to try again. Yeah. And then when we did, it was just that, that like fear, like what happens if, but you don't, that's when my husband stepped in and was like, I know you always plan for the worst case scenario, but let's plan for the best case scenario. kind of had to let him take over at that point and be my train of thought to be okay moving forward. Yeah, do you think that there is a big element of yourself that was really just trying to protect yourself from getting hurting? Yeah, it goes with the self doubt. I, when it happened, you just want to run through like, what did you do wrong? And, and I know they say like, it's a statistic, it happens to everyone. But like, I knew I had hormone imbalance stuff from like having health issues in the past. So it was constantly like, did I do it because I wasn't getting this monitored? Or was it my fault because I was like running while pregnant and you know, what did you eat? And you know, when did we try? And pregnancy is just so strange. Like when we first started trying, we really thought you just have to go like cold turkey, like no coffee, no anything. So it was a little miserable. of being in that, like having to take myself out of the guilt was really bad. And then it honestly was really hard because so much of it was because I caused it. I felt like it was my own like burden without realizing like. obviously how much it hurt my husband too, but it felt like I really need to like sit and be under this cloud by myself because it was my fault and it was helpful for him in a sense to like come sit with me under the cloud and have like show me like it's not just you like we can go through this together and then we were able to pull each other out of it together as well. He kind of made you feel like you're not alone in this and we were then able to also support him with things that he needed as well. Yeah, he's very, it's the patience. Like I know he's holding onto the weight. He just puts on like such a strength for me where sometimes I'll even tell him like, if you need to like break down, he's just like, no, I'm here for you. I, like, I love him for that. Like I love him for always showing the rock, but I know he like went through with it too. Yeah, and then what happened when you found out you were pregnant again? I mean, I am big on like themed surprises. So I had known like I wanted to surprise him and I wanted to do all this stuff. But he did tell me once he's like, you're not as quiet as you think. So like, I had said I was going to like take the test on this day, but he would like hear me take it in the bathroom. Yeah, and he would like play it off as if you like didn't know I took it. I was trying to like hide stuff on my face. I think with All my friend was in town where I ended up, like we were making breakfast and I was making bad jokes and then we told him, but he had said he knew because he heard me wake up and run into her room and be like, my God. So it was just kind of like a relief to be like, yay, here we go. And I got to round to a different theme surprise. awesome and have with that pregnancy. First time we had tried to like plan it pretty well. The second time it just if it took, like it happened pretty quickly. And then I was out for the whole volleyball season. So I was pretty moody about that. I actually did try to play pregnant, but at some point like other players got uncomfortable with me being on the court. But then both of my kids, they did come. I was very tiny during pregnancy. So they were both like down there and ready to pop out. So they both came about a month early. And so that was like a little bit of relief, but. the doctor would be like, they might come early and I'm like, take them out, take them. Oh, and now you have. How old are your kids now? So Amma just turned four and Max is about to turn two. But the thing too is I always wanted a Max from where the wild things are. So we have this wonderful picture when we did the baby reveal for my daughter. When we found out it was a girl and I had wanted a boy and my face was like, God, and she sees it and she's like, what is that mom? I was like, well, you were supposed to meet the boy. But then an My whole family knew they were like, were meant for a girl. She came out, she looks exactly like me. She's like my little twin. I can't, when we ended up having our second, everyone's like, so you want a boy now? And I was like, no, I want another girl. But we did get one of each, who was very lucky. And they're wildly different personalities too, which is fantastic. And as Alma's getting older, and obviously Max, at what point did you decide, okay, now it's time to help educate them on Mom's cloudy days and what that means? So both kids came early and they were not easy babies. Like I had prepared for postpartum. She was born with a hernia and she was born with a tongue tie and we had a very bad, not the hospital, the hospital was fantastic. My OBGYN was fantastic. The doctor after that was supposed to fix both of that stuff botched it basically. So she would scream all the time. You'd have to hold her a certain way. Nobody wanted to hold her. She was not the charming little like, oh, cuddle with me, baby. uh I had a really hard time bonding with her because of that. Like, I wanted to hold her. I wanted to solve everything. And it's like, like, it. And you just can't get them to stop. And you can't figure it out. And so I was really depressed about a lot of it. wasn't what I had expected going into it. And it was hard, though. As she started to get older, I knew I was going to talk to her about like bonding with her when we were little. then we made it into humor and stuff. I knew like now if you ask her and she said, and someone says, how are you as a baby? She'll say I was a terror because we taught her to say I was a terror because we still love you. You were just a lie. And so when we went into the second, I had told my husband, said, if you ever want to have more than one kid, we have to go right away. Because the second it starts to get easy, mentally, I'm not going to be able to want to put myself back in that depressive state. And also, I want to do it when she is maybe not old enough to see some of the postpartum where I was on the ground crying or mom just needed to go into the other room and kind of let it all out. And so we made the decision to have kids right away. Um, but her language clicked really early. Like she was just with it and aware of everything. it, to a credit worked for me because she was so excited about her brother. He took to like sitting there with me and if we were crying, she would start to try and cheer me up or ask what they were doing. And I had to find a way to tell her like, it's not anything you're doing. It's not your brother. And so I started with the, like, mom has a cloud analogy because I had been using that in therapy for myself. And so I started to talk to her about, it's not you. Like, it's just not Sunny for mom. I really just had that conversation with her because I didn't want her, you know, she was learning so quickly and taking the things. I didn't want her to think that it was cause and effect because, you know, we're trying to teach her about so much in the world that's cause and effect. You do this and this happens and yes and no. And I was like, she's going to think that this is part of that. And so I had to have a way to talk to her about it. How did she respond at first, or did it take a while for her to start understanding what a cloudy day means? It took a while for her to really get, we actually ended up more recently getting a cloud pillow. And so it was something where I can show her and just say, it's not you, it's this. And I would jokingly hold it up and talk to her about it and just saying, mom needs a minute. And my husband was really great at when he can recognize something shifting, he would. like take them and go play and just say mom needs to sit over there. And so she would be able to see that mom just needed her own time and kind of those visual. We always, it's hard. I want to be modest and say like, I don't know how her language happened, but we did just talk to her, like, you know, the Montessori concept of telling her more important things. So we wouldn't. tell her like, no, don't do that. We would explain to her like, don't do that. It's not safe. And that was part of it was like, I didn't want to just tell her, you know, mom's going over here. I wanted to tell her mom needed a minute or mom wasn't feeling good. And what led you to realizing, hey, I'm going to move this idea from my household to writing a book and creating a community for others? What inspired you to do that? so we, we're a huge story family. So when it started, it actually was, we would go to the library and she would always look like she loves horses. So we would tap out every library on every horse book ever. I. thought about it, since like, you know, kids books describe a lot that's going on, you can hit a lot of topics in moral lessons in children's books. And so I started to try to find something to explain the sadness. And this was before like the cloud had really come to be a thing. And I was searching and there are books on emotions, but it was all cause and effect. Like I dropped my ice cream, I'm sad, this is sadness and nothing really explained. just what happens if a parent's struggling that was younger or appropriate. And so that is when I really made this little story. The irony of my book is actually I'm not a beach person. And that's why it was so easy to write because everyone loves the beach. Everyone looks forward to vacation. They love going there. I don't enjoy it as much. My husband is the water parent. He even jokes about the ending of the book. He's like, this is probably the only time I'll see you in the water. And I'm like, yes, it is. And so I started the story to explain to her like, guys love the beach, mom doesn't. And it's like a cloud's at the beach with me. And so it became a bedtime story. And I started making the story over and over and we'd talk through it. And I would. said, like, you know, eventually one day I'm going to write this down. And then I finally started writing it down. And I kind of threw all my focus in that, honestly, to distract from like other life stuff going on. But it was a good segue for me to say like, okay, I know I have some stuff going on that's causing clouds, but I'm just going to embrace it by like writing about the cloud in a way that I can make myself happy right now. And so kind of spent a good year plus kind of writing it. It rhymed at first. And then I was like, gave that up and started writing it into an actual book that can be a resource. And I wasn't ready to really tell people about the book because you never know what's gonna happen. Like, are you gonna publish? Are they gonna reject it, et cetera? And so I started an Instagram to say, like, let me just start showing the cloud and kind of making it approachable. and then sort of release one day like, hey, this is a part of the book. And so I was able to post that. And what was the publishing process like? You wrote it down, but you also needed to find an illustrator. mean, the publishing part too, do you submit it to a publishing house? Do you self-publish? Do you, how did you manage to go about it and what was your path? So I did absolutely everything wrong. Like I even was looking through my email the other day. As I said, I had gone through some health stuff and I I love running. I love the gym and all that stuff. And with the health stuff, I was on kind of, you had to stop and see what was causing things. So when I wasn't able to gym and I was like getting tired from volleyball while we were working on like meds, I threw myself into writing the book and the first draft. Like when I got it out, it was so emotional to get the full story out. I was like, this is amazing. And I submitted it to people and it's not good. Like my husband and I read it the other day and I was like, I'm like, like maybe one day I'll share it on the blog. It's not good. But I didn't, and it's weird cause I'm such like in my job, I'm like a project person and I do like. OD embellishment and all this stuff. And I was like, that was not me. It was definitely distracting from something bigger. And so I did like no research. I was just like, yeah, here's this. Here's people who like have similar books, but they don't have a book on this. And I submitted it. And then I had to step back and like hone it. And then kind of like a really big cloud came. Cause was like, what am I doing? Like, this is ridiculous. And so I finally started getting really positive feedback after I had like tweaked it and everything. And In the traditional route, the market right now is just happy stuff, and I get it where we are. And so some of the feedback, which was hard, was like, I can't connect with this. And I was like, well, nobody wants to connect with depression, but we have to sometimes. um And then some of it was changing things. Alma had helped me pick a couple of the names in the book, and I was just like, it hurt to change them. It's like for the mass market, I guess. And then some of it was simplifying the language. And that was sort of my hard press to just go self-publish. Because I was like, think knowing in the market research, there are only two books out there for kids that approach depression and they focus on animals. So I want to talk about depression mass market, which is what I'm hoping to change because talking about mental health is cool. And I think we can talk about it with kids in a more sophisticated way. Just saying, I never say in the book, mom's depressed. I don't really ever say sadness and the weight and everything, but it is an approachable way to say a clouds here. It's making me feel a little heavy. I just need a moment until my sky clears. And so I want it to leave that long sentence in there in that respect and just say, we can have these conversations with our kids. And I wrote it with fun illustrations and whimsical words because you can still make it. fun if it is a reality. Well, and I love your description to me about how you and your illustrator have worked so hard to create a lot of symbolism in the images as well, especially with color. Tell me a little bit about that. Yeah, so I found my illustrator because she just, she embodied the message of like building a village. I had been kind of like anxious about how do you get an illustrator? How do you see your vision? And she was someone who was just out there on Instagram threads and she was posting like helpful advice on, on illustrating children's books and publishing. And what was great was it was never like a cliffhanger and then a DM me for prices and details. She was just out there doing it. And so. I would ask her some questions about like illustration processes. Like how, if this is what you want, how do you ask an illustrator? And she was always giving advice. And I realized like, I was like, do you illustrate? And I just thought she was like a really good like resource, but didn't illustrate. And she was like, I do. And I was like, can I just hire you? And then you'll have to answer all those questions. And so we had a really great storyboarding. I recently saw how she went and got books on emotions. on how to convey and her idea is to, she does incredible shading. So the idea is we're all on the beach and mom sees the cloud and mom's area is gray and throughout the day when the family has their sunshine and then mom, when she's ready, like little rays of sun is gonna poke through and so it's gonna show that the cloud's still there. but mom just needs time and over time as she rests, the sunshine's gonna come back because she's able to do it when she's ready instead of having to just put on a brave face and kind of be there. You're going beyond, this isn't just about necessarily about the book. While the book is an important tool for families to be able to use, you're also wanting to create more of a community and create more discussion and connection. What does that look like for you, especially on the social space? I think every author wants to say like, yes, I want to be a bestseller and that would be great. My husband and I already told him like, I'm going to invest in this. And he was like, go for it. We have, I don't have this weight of like, my God, I'm going to nickel and dime and tell you when I made it. But I want it to be out there if someone like me needs to search for it. And so in the journey, think, you know, the book existing is going to be fantastic. Like today I saw a character sketch of Max and I started crying like happy tears, but really it's what I've been able to accomplish through it. So I, when I posted pre-orders, it was sharing my story of this is what's been existing and the people who know me, but didn't know that was there because nobody sees the cloud. Their response was just like overwhelming to just feel like now instead of making some excuse for myself, I can just text my friends like I'm having a cloudy day and I have since this and I've been like cloudy day can't hang out and like having them just hold space and say what do you need just felt like that's the message I want there in the world like just kind of be open with people and it is scary every time I post a blog post I'm like what's gonna happen but then also hearing from some people who I hadn't know. also had clouds and they were like, I love this. I have been experienced this cloud through this. so that is what is kind of the already success of this. due to the Instagram, I've been able to connect with some people. I've got fantastic resources who have said yes to be in the back of the book. And so it's, if you're having a cloudy day, here are some places you can go. And then just building more resources of people I'm going to feature on the blog. to just say, let's keep having this conversation and keep kind of holding space for each other. I love that. And depression shows up differently for everybody. You know, as you mentioned, you're a big extrovert, but also you have high self-defeat. And depression can show up very differently for different people. think just summarizing, saying I'm having a cloudy day really encompasses and captures it without having to explain to everybody. I guess I don't really have a question here, but rather than just, really think that it does open that door for so many people who are experiencing so many different types of depression as well. So recently I was trying to think through like what do I want my next blog post to be about and it was that because when I told some people that I had been battling depression, I mean it sort of is shock to them because people see depression as like I'm stuck in bed under the covers. I'm like, it's the opposite. Like I can't be home with myself. So if I send you like 8 million plans to do this week, it's because like I feel the cloud coming and I need to distract myself. And so I wrote a post on types of clouds and I did some research on like the scientific names of clouds and why they appear. And it was really helpful to sort of put that message out there that like, it can be sunny and clouds are out there and you're looking at them and they're fun shapes and you're doing everything and they don't necessarily ruin the day. But if they're there, that person might be having a different day than you are. And it's so easy to say like a cloud comes and it's storming and it's raining and everything's ruined. But at the same time, no, because my daughter loves storms because it means puddles the next day. And so it's just about recognizing what's showing up in where you are and how do you need to get through that situation. And it's not just depression. And that's my hope with like... the cloud books is to really make it a series where it does come in different locations. know that beach is the first one. I have the second one that I'm starting to write. That's kind of a sneak peek right now for my family. My husband heard me reading it to a friend and was like, I don't get the first read. But then I want to kind of bring out the idea of like personifying emotions, just make it regular. So there are other kind of things in there with the ADHD and the anxiety. And I just see it as like, having this conversation with my kids in a way that they can understand. So one day I can tell her like, hey, the cloud this whole time was depression. It's actually something a lot bigger, but thanks for being there for mom on the cloudy days when you just knew I needed a moment. How do you think this may be able to help your kids as well if they experience anything in the future, whether it's anxiety, ADHD, um and are you ready to tackle that if and when they come to mom for help? think in this journey, like part of it is like imposter syndrome. Like I don't want to feel like I'm out here like spouting this message. And then someone's like, well, what are your credentials? And I'm like, I don't have any. just, sad sometimes, but I had a moment where my daughter, she has a really hard time waking up there. One, she's sweaty. So she makes up covered in sweat and she's scared disconnect sometimes. And I can't get through to her. And I've tried gentle parenting and I've tried to be like, okay, let's do this. And we haven't found it out. And one day we just had a really hard day. Like she started screaming and she ended up kicking me. And I was like, that's it. I need to leave the room. Like mom's out and she came out and she knew I was upset. And I was like, mom can't right now. And she said, mom, I think mine was a tornado. And I'm like, stay. I was like, what? And she goes, I think I had a tornado. And she started telling me, she goes, it's not a cloud, mom. It's a tornado. Like later my husband got home and I told him, almost says she has tornadoes. So like now we know. And then we started talking about it and she was like, yeah, everything in the house got sucked into it, dad. Mom left. She didn't want to play. Like we forgot to bring the toys to the pool because mom said it like flew all around the house. And so it was like my moment of like, okay. The cloud worked on her. It's, already worked on her for me, but now she has her own thing and she's been able to do that a few times. She had a hard day. She was being mean. She said she was lost in the woods. So I was like, bring nice all my back. But it's that kind of just happiness that I found a way to like tell her to talk through her emotions in a way that made sense for her. And so I would like to, you know, my pipe goal is the cloud is successful and I would love to see like I'm going to get cloud buttons or stickers. I'm working on what I want and just have people kind of start to personify stuff to then find what works for them. Maybe they don't want a cloud. Maybe they do want a tornado or maybe they want another type of thing out there, but not being scared to talk to our children about struggles because the reality of the world is it's going to impact them at some point and how are we preparing them for that? slowly in a creative way. I think that's great. I think as parents too, if we can be vulnerable to our kids about what we're experiencing, it gives them permission to share back. Because sometimes kind of coming full circle to the beginning of this conversation, you felt like you were all alone. You felt like you were the only one experiencing this. And I think a lot of kids feel that way until someone tells them their experience and then they can connect the dots that, my gosh, no, I'm not alone. You know, as a kid, you kind of don't know what you don't know. and sometimes sharing your vulnerabilities as an adult really opens that door. And I think that's what you're creating here. Thank you. So if people want to learn more or pre-order your book, where can they find you? How can they reach out to you? All of the things. Yeah, so I am on cloudydaychronicles.wordpress.com and that will have the pre-orders and also all of the updates as we go. I'm also on Instagram at Cloudy Day Chronicles. uh Again, know, selling the book is one thing, but my hope is really to just have this space where, you know, we're talking about cloudy days and posting like questions and asking people to kind of share their stories and just keep the conversation going. so building the community that way. Awesome. So everybody cool. Follow her on Instagram, go check out her blog and keep an eye out. That book's coming out in six months or so. It sounds like the timeline and I know I'm going to be reading it to my daughter and we're going to be having those hard conversations too. So Kendall, just, you're amazing and I love the journey that you're on and building this. was awesome. Thank you. Because as I said, I started, just being able to have the conversation is just mind blowing that yes, there are other people out there that want to talk about support and everything. And thank you for creating that platform. Absolutely. I'm here for you. Well, thank you everybody for listening and go follow Kendall. m