Not Your Mother's Midlife Crisis

Nicole Ryan Gets Real About Raising Kids and Rogue Hormones Episode 38

• Christine Fennell and Christine Oliver

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In this episode of 'Not Your Mother's Midlife Crisis,' hosts Chris and Chris welcome Nicole Ryan, a prominent radio host and podcaster. They discuss the complexities of aging, the pressures of the entertainment industry, and the importance of maintaining friendships and mental health. Nicole shares her personal experiences with motherhood, therapy, and her recovery from a life-altering accident, emphasizing the need for support systems and open conversations about aging and self-image. The conversation also touches on the significance of preparing for menopause and the joys of grandparenting, along with book recommendations that resonate with midlife experiences.  Please follow Nicole on her socials and podcasts!  You will love all of them and her!

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SPEAKER_01

Hello and welcome to Not Your Mother's Midlife Crisis. I am Chris and this is my co-host Chris.

SPEAKER_03

Hello, Chris. How are you doing? You're surviving the weather?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I was in Florida for the weekend. Nice. It was it was a last minute trip. We said we got to get the hell out of here. This is just bullshit. So uh saw the girl, spent the weekend. We had a really nice time. How about you?

SPEAKER_03

I was in Indiana visiting my baby girl, and it was actually warmer in Indiana than it was here in New Jersey.

SPEAKER_01

It's insane. It's not supposed to be that way.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. Thoughts. I think something I never thought I would say was I wish I was back in Indiana.

SPEAKER_01

No, I don't think many people say that other than to see your daughter, which I totally guess. Uh well, today we have like the most amazing day that I've been waiting for. It's like a dream come true. And I'd love to give her a like total Jason Kelsey welcome, but I have a rasp, but I don't have like that sexy, sexy rasp like him. So this is gonna have to do. So please welcome Nicole Ryan from the morning mashup on His One Radio Sirius XM. She's also the host of the podcast Have Kids, They Said It'd Be Fun, they said and Satisfying.

SPEAKER_03

Yes. And Nicole has interviewed on the red carpet. Her interviews include Taylor Swift, Ed Sheeran, Joe Jonas, Justin Bieber, Lady Gaga, one of my faves, Conan Gray, and almost every A-lister in the entertainment business. She's at the round table with Chelsea Hamler and has appeared on Good Morning America. So we are so excited. Like, holy shit, right?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, total fan, total fing girl moment for real. So we're so excited to have you, Nicole. You know, I bragged to anybody that I could. And so many people said, How the hell did you get her? And so how did we get you, Nicole? How did you decide to do this?

SPEAKER_00

I mean, listen, I love sharing the love. I love when people like share their stories. And anybody who is part of my family, extended radio podcast family is a family member and friend of mine. So I think it's awesome when people go out on their own to do, you know, projects like this, like you guys are doing. And I don't know, I just I feel like I I'll never pass up girl talk. Like I'll never pass like bitch and moan about all the things that suck about, you know, being our age, being married, having kids, just living in this crazy world that's on fire currently. I mean, I'll never pass it up. So I am here and I'm so excited to be with you, ladies. Good.

SPEAKER_01

Well, we we are so excited to have you.

SPEAKER_00

And we are very humbled. Oh, yeah. I mean, I'm so I'm super pumped. I feel like we've talked a few times over the years. Yes. And like like DM and stuff, and like I knew of your podcast, but I just think it's awesome. Like, how how long have you guys been doing this for? Uh, we only started the podcast in June. Reached out. I feel like we had spoken, maybe you had like DM'd or something.

SPEAKER_01

I have. So I also judged gymnastics, and one time Parker had a beautiful handstand.

SPEAKER_00

Yes, yes. I was so funny because she did recently, I'm sure you know, I did. Have to, you know, not quit. Her coach called it. She was retiring because she didn't want it to be, you know. And we were looking at an old picture of a um, it was like well, it's a yeah, it was a picture from one of her meets from her floor routine. And I was like, You used to do a badass handstand, kid. Like beautiful. It was just really good. How did you get into judging gymnastics? I feel like you guys are badass. Like the the judges at gymnastics, like I was afraid of some of them.

SPEAKER_01

Some of them are really mean. So I just I did gymnastics, then I coached gymnastics, and then you judge gymnastics. It's just kind of an evolution.

SPEAKER_00

But but you don't do that anymore.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, I still judge, yeah. Okay, you do. Yeah, I judge even at the college level now, which is a lot of fun. So I get to travel with that.

SPEAKER_00

Oh my gosh, I love watching the college girls. I mean, I love watching the college girls. I love watching, obviously, when they're in the Olympics hurts winter now, but I like, I love, love, love, love. It's amazing. They're incredible.

SPEAKER_03

All right, so let's get into it.

SPEAKER_00

Let's do it.

SPEAKER_03

Okay, is there anything that we missed that you want to share with our listeners before we get started?

SPEAKER_00

Gosh, I mean, I don't think so. I feel like I've been doing this forever. I feel like an old woman. And I did recently get, I think I shared with Rich on Half Kids that I had gotten like serious exam, had sent a plaque uh saying that I had been there for 20 years. And I like as much as like I wanted it, I was like, can I toss this like out the window? Because it just feels like it's a reminder how long I've been doing it, which as long as like much as I'm proud, it it's still just like, wow, 20 years. Like you were shit. Like you were a kid when you started long before you got married or even started dating Matt. Like I was a wild child, like running around dating the world and doing God knows what. And now I'm like married with kids. It just feels like where did the time go? So yeah, I mean, I've done it all, good amount of television, all those interviews. I feel like I've interviewed everybody. I feel like there might be one or two people that I'm still like dying to get on, but for the most part, I feel like most of my interview dreams have for the most part come true. Yeah. It's awesome.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, good for you. You know, as an influencer and a strong, powerful woman, what is your relationship with aging?

SPEAKER_00

It's um, you know, it's very complicated. I I don't want to call it the healthiest, and if I'm being completely honest. I mean, I did actually just get in like not a fight with my husband, but he wasn't pleased because this is, I think, the fourth or fifth time that my like the medicine chest that has no medicine in it, it's just all creams and moisturizers and serums and like things that are claiming to keep me looking young, have um, because it's so overflowing because I can't stop purchasing, that they've like come out when I've opened up the door, smashed and broken our toilet. So this is like literally like the fourth or fifth time it happened this weekend. And now we have to call like the super and be like, can you come fix this? He's like, it's enough. Like, stop buying them like you're beautiful just the way you are. I'm like, yo, you're saying that because you don't want me to spend any more money. But I think that we all, especially in like this like social media ridden like world right now, it's very hard to have a good, like, a good relationship with aging and everything that's like marked to us and like what you see, you know, people sort of posting their like highlight, like I call them like highlight reels on their social media. It's not what happens like every day. It's not like the good, the bad, and ugly. We like to only post like the best parts, like the beautiful family picture, or like when you think you're all done up and you're going to like an event and you look amazing. So it's like everything's muddled, like our perception of what we're supposed to look like or should or you know, can look like is so muddled. So I think that I want to have a healthy relationship, but I think I'm just like most women and don't feel super comfortable about it. And I'm trying to fight it more than I'm just accepting it.

SPEAKER_03

We fight it. Yes, we fight it hard. Yeah. We fight that battle every day. Yeah. Uh-huh. And I'm like you, I'm a total product person. I'll try it. If it will help, I'll try it.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, yeah. And like, and I'm and I literally, it's like everything. And now I think, I don't know if I spoke about it on have kids, but like I'm beyond just like the topical. Now I'm getting like all of the like the gummies that are supposed to be good and like this thing that I got that's supposed to like clean up my liver. And he's like, what are you doing? And I'm like, I'm fighting it. But I don't know. It's also, it's not just about the aging. Like, I want to feel good too. And like that happens from the inside out. It's not just the stuff that you're putting on your skin, it's the stuff that we're putting inside of our bodies. So yeah, it's not a great relationship, but I'm I'm trying not to let that um uh like meld over into like what my kids see, especially like my daughter. Like I've said before, like, oh, I look horrible. I have to put on some makeup. I'm like, I don't want her to think that. Like she's like, mommy, why do you always like talk about yourself like badly like that? That's a horrible, like that's a horrible, it's a horrible precedent that I'm setting. It's not a good like role model. And I always tell her how beautiful she is just the way that she is. And so I should try to probably model that a little bit better. But it's hard.

SPEAKER_01

It's hard, you know, like working hard because we're always looking back at what we saw five years ago. And you gotta focus on look how great I look now, because five years from now, I might not love that as much.

SPEAKER_00

So also true. That's a really good point. Yeah, and I also feel like I don't know, like there's there's aspects of it, it happens like so quickly. Like I don't even like I look at a picture from like, I don't know, maybe five years ago, and I look at it and I'm like, I've I've like a baby there. Oh like how that happened in five years, you know what I'm saying? I wasn't a baby. Yeah, but I mean, this is just this is just this is life. This is like human nature. This happens, like this is what happens. You're not gonna stay looking all elastic and like dewy and collagen-y forever. It's just not gonna happen. It's not the way that it works. We can try though. We can try. I'm trying. I'm not gonna stop trying. That's what I do. Never gonna stop trying. No, no, it's hard.

SPEAKER_03

But do you feel pressure to stay young in your industry, or is the industry getting better at embracing women as we age?

SPEAKER_00

No, it's getting way worse, I think. Okay. I feel I think every once in a while we get somebody in who is like super positive about it, like that is aging gracefully, like like an amazing actress that will come in and just like, I don't give a fuck. But I think for the most part, and it's probably more like me putting the pressure on myself, but like when you're constantly having people come in and video and pictures being taken of you, and you've got these celebrities who have personal chefs and have hair and makeup done. Like I always joke when they come in and they're like touching them up before we do an interview. I'm always like, I do I look okay? You could can you touch me up too? Because it's just like they look pristine, they look like porcelain, they look like perfect. And I'm just like, I'm I'm never going to be able to achieve that. I look like what I've the best I could do this morning. And I tried to make my hair look semi-okay if I was able to break up early enough and same with my feet. So it's it's no, it's not getting easier. And I think that there's more of a demand to be younger and skinnier and and more beautiful and like fight it and look, oh, she bounced back after pregnancy this fast. And oh, she's in the bikini at like 65 and looks like incredible, like Demi Moore, Lemmy. I know else besides Demi Moore. It's never gonna happen. It's never. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh my god, or J-Lo. And then then, like, I actually know somebody, all the the uh the plastic surgeon that recently did Chris Jenner, that did a Lindsay Lohan, and those things that the same person did Ann Hathaway, they look like perfection. I mean, it is unbelievable. And I'm like, I want that doctor eventually. That doctor now costs like triple what it normally would cost to do any of that, like your eyes or like a face left or things like that. But that happens, and now you see that that's possible, and it's like, I I have I have to figure out how I can have that. If that's possible. If it wasn't possible, that's one thing. But I actually know that the nurse, who is one of the nurses who helps those like celebrities and very rich clientele, you know, heal after that. And she's like, it's it's unbelievable the amount of money that they're spending to do this. It's not normal, and they're making you think that it's normal and it's it's not. And so it is it's a mind fuck, like for sure. For sure.

SPEAKER_01

It is, but like the challenge is out there, you know.

SPEAKER_00

Right. Who doesn't accept a challenge? No, no. And I do the best that I can. I feel like I really do try to work out more for my mental than like my physical, and that always makes me feel good. And that's not something I ever really have trouble keeping up with because it's just something that I need, or I think that I'll maybe commit murder. Just when I'm super stressed or super anxious, I've gotta do it. I've gotta sweat, and it's like one thing that I feel like is plausible. It's something that I can actually like I know I can achieve. Everything else is like, you know, and it's like the way you live, and like I'm not gonna stop like enjoying a drink, and I'm not gonna stop like, and of course, none of us are getting enough sleep, and that shows on our face. You know, it's like it's it's so many pieces of the puzzle that that you're just not gonna be able to have them all to to you know to achieve what you really want.

SPEAKER_01

But well, such as Nicole, you're stunning, you don't even really have to try, you're beautiful.

unknown

Thank you.

SPEAKER_01

And you get up ridiculously early, which is insane.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, it never gets easier. It that people are always like, Oh, you must be used to it, but nope, I have a mini tantrum every morning when the alarm goes off, and I hit snooze 15 times before Matt like kicks me out of the bed and is like, let's go.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, but you get all dialed up for have all these, you know, A-listers come in and my gosh, why even go to bed at that point?

SPEAKER_00

I know, I know. And there's certainly been those times, I can't really pull that off as much anymore. But like, I mean, the majority of the time if we don't have anybody, like I always tell my producer, I'm like, can you please make sure to let me know if some like somebody's coming in the night before? Because if I've got nobody, I'm not impressing you guys. You're like my brothers. Like, I don't care. I don't care. And there, if there's no cameras in there, no one's taking a picture, you have no content for us to shoot. I'm coming in with either dirty hair, stopping wet hair on top of my head, and no makeup and like a t-shirt and jeans, or like I mean, like that's that's what I'm doing. I'm not gonna kill myself when it's already so much pressure on the days that I know that I have to look like presentable, we'll call it.

SPEAKER_03

So since we knew you, we were having you, we made sure we did our hair. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. You guys look amazing. Look at me. Not me. Not me. But we were like, we were so excited, we're like, we gotta do our hair. You look amazing. Yeah, the hair. So the majority of the time, if I do do my hair, it is in studio. I'm never doing my hair before I leave the house. It's too early. And it's not, it's just not happening. Yes. You look sad, girl. So you look small. Oh, thank you.

SPEAKER_01

All right. So uh moving on a little bit. So, how are you different now than you were from 30-year-old Nicole?

SPEAKER_00

Oh gosh. You know what? I I'm actually kind of pride myself in this. I don't think I'm that much different. I'm still a little bit of a maniac, still at like, you know, overindulge and like to have fun. And like when I'm with my friends, forget that I'm not 30 anymore. I I feel like I there's there's more of like that little, that little person at the back of my head being like, you have responsibilities. There are children. You have to, you know, and when you get home, you're gonna have to like deal with this, and you might have to like do homework and you're gonna have to get up early and get like Parker to cheerleading. And like, it's more that there's just that little, that little man, we'll call him like a little man in the back of my mind that's just literally like, remember, like trying to keep me in line. Do I ignore him sometimes? Of course I do. But, you know, I think that it's just there's there's more responsibility. And it was almost like when they were younger, you'd think this wouldn't be the case. Almost when they were younger, it was easier. Now that they're older, like they are watching you, they see you, they hear everything you say, they see if you're not doing well, they talk back. I mean, it's like when they were little, like they didn't know I could still kind of be a mess. So I think I've got a little bit more, a touch more, like a pinch more responsibility and head on my shoulders. But I think I'll always be a little bit of a like a free spirit and like whatever, you only live once, and let's go out and have a good time.

SPEAKER_01

Good for you.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I try to keep it together a little bit more than when I was 30, for sure.

SPEAKER_01

That's awesome. It's only one more espresso martini, who cares? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Exactly. Exactly. We're having fun. And I have this friend who we always joke, like, whenever I want to like make a bad decision, even if it's like buying something I shouldn't buy, like like shopping online or something, she's like, just do whatever feels good. And like, of course, you can't really do that in life all the time. But sometimes when I'm questioning it, I know it's not really gonna hurt anybody that bad. I'm just like, or even myself, I'm like, this feels good. I'm just gonna do it. I'm trying to live in the moment. I try to be present because I'm not always good at that. I'm really bad about like, okay, what do I have at like the next month? What do I have this weekend? What are we doing? And I like get myself all worked up. When it's like, be in the moment, you're enjoying this moment, you're having drinks with your girls, you're having this amazing meal, like whatever it is. Try to just like just enjoy, who cares? And if it sucks tomorrow, it sucks tomorrow. Just wait, yeah. It's just one day. You'll survive, you'll get through that stuff.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, it's funny because we just had this conversation yesterday where we're like, I'm getting at the point where I have no fucks to give. So there's zero.

SPEAKER_00

Just go ahead and do it. Yeah. Like sometimes I wish I still had some, but I don't. And I think there is something actually quite beautiful about that. Yeah. Like, I mean, to have no fucks to give. And like you want to know the truth, even maybe as I've age, it gets harder because like the the celebrities keep coming in and like can be younger and more beautiful. And so that makes me feel like not good enough. Or a bit like like Matt, like someone will come in and I'll be like, so and so just came in. And they just like, I just honestly, like, I just want to die. Like, how does she look like that? And he's like, she's 26, she's a model, and you know, whatever it is. But I for the most part think I cared more then. Like I cared more, maybe because it was like I was among the youngsters, right? And now it's like, who the fuck who the fuck cares? Who cares? Right, it was a peer before. Correct, correct. And now it's like, you know what? I shouldn't necessarily look like that or feel like that. I'm not. I'm 43. Like, I'm not. I'm not. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

So about being a mom, and if you mentioned how important your kids are, how how has your industry supported you as a mom?

SPEAKER_00

Do they they really I mean they really have. I mean, at um when I first I had a little bit of a crazy boss years ago, who I like as much as like he was crazy uh and made me crazy, I still loved him and owe him so much. But there was it was a different time when I first started out. And I remember him saying, don't ever get married. Okay, that's not gonna happen. Like he wanted, he always, there was this like there was this idea that I should always be like attainable. I'm like air quoting like people who listen could be like, like, I could date her. And I'd be like, but that's like not like I that's not real life. Like I eventually want to get married and settle down and like have a family. So he just was like a little bit of a weirdo. Eventually, I I got engaged. I got engaged on the air, he was not pleased. Eventually I got pregnant. We announced it on the air, he was not pleased. He told me my career was over, which I'm pretty sure is an HR issue, but it was a different time then, and I don't even think I knew to like speak up about it. But the besides him, everybody else, the industry, everybody that I worked with, the boys, like they like everybody celebrated me and all my accomplishments. And I feel like a lot of my audience feels like they sort of have been along with me, like as I grew up. Like they've watched me in my journey. They saw me in my early 20s, into my 30s, like dating and while, and I would tell all my crazy stories of going out with friends and different guys that like I dated or I had like a one-on-year stand with, like just fun dating stories. And then, like when I fell in love with this person, and then we got, you know, they feel like they've been a part. And then anytime something cool happened with the kids, they feel like they're a part of it. So I feel like the boys on my show, like my my co-hosts, they've been super supportive. They've, I mean, they're like family, but also I feel like the listeners that have been along for this whole time have been super supportive and excited for everything that I've done or they've gotten to listen to along the way.

SPEAKER_01

That's really good.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

So do you have any strategies that you could share with the listeners that you use to help be like strategize your priorities as a as your mom?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. I mean, I think that it's like like work-life balance um is oh and like mental health balance is always gonna be like a tough thing. I think I'll always struggle with it. But I think that I'm a huge therapy person. I always have been. I talk about that all the time. I love therapy. I've been in therapy not by choice since I was 16. You know, my parents went through a pretty brutal divorce and there was a lot of craziness when I was in high school, into college. Um, but that, you know, ended up being like a beautiful resource that like was given to me that I think that everybody could use. Like there's a lot of people who are super anti, you know, psychiatrist, psychologist, like in any sort of therapy. I'm fine. I could, you know, like I don't, I don't need anybody to tell me about my life. But I always like liken it to like a massage for your brain. Like if you could just go, it's just, it's like this self-care. Like it's like someone just sits and lets you just bitch or lets you just vent. And maybe, depending on the type of therapist you have, maybe they give you advice. Maybe they say, hey, have you ever thought about this? And just give you different ways to look at a situation. It's very the therapy is quite therapeutic, shockingly. It's very, it's something that that helps me just kind of put things in place. And so when I've got like a multitude of stressors, whether it's marriage-related, kids-related, career-related, friends-related, family related, I can kind of organize them. So I think that that's like a huge thing to have either whether it's a therapist or just like a friend, like somebody who you can count on. So we were doing to yeah, yeah. I mean, I have girlfriends and guy friends. I have like one really, really close guy friend that I've known forever, who I feel like I can tell anything to. And it always makes like the situation always makes more sense after I've talked to him about it. Because he really does listen and he's not like, he's not trying to fix it like Matt will try to fix it sometimes. He will just kind of listen and be like, well, maybe this. And like, have you ever thought about this? Like he's kind of like a therapist. So I think that that's a really big deal. And I think it's important just to check in with like yourself. Um sometimes when I get home, really be like present and kind of like I'll look at the kids and be like, are like they set, like, am I sensing that one of them's like a little bit more stressed or having a hard time? And same with Matt, I try to check in with him and we have a very crazy relationship, as you know, from listening. But I mean, we do check in with each other and we try to have, even though it can be wild at times, good communication. And I try to talk to him when we're not angry with each other, because then we can be more helpful, more of a resource to each other. But listen, it's never easy, it's always a balancing act, no matter what you do or what your family life or your home life looks like. But I think it's important to like look for help and to be willing to accept help, you know, in whatever form that comes in for sure.

SPEAKER_03

That's good advice. Yeah, and I loved on one of your episodes on have kids, they said you talked about the importance of friendship and the and the role, like staying connected with your friends, like how important that is. And we've talked about it, how important like your girlfriends are and they stay in your life for that reason, just for that support.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. I mean, I have like like the caught my college girls or like my high school girls, like going out to like a dinner or going for like a girl's weekend randomly once in a while. It is the most delicious like reset you could ever do. And then they're they're just as important as your significant other. I totally agree. And I and I encourage Matt, like obviously he goes a little bit too far, but I'm like, you need boys' nights. Like, we need to have like your friendships are just as important, I think, as your relationship. I think that they they need to be tended to and and worked on just as much as your significant other's relationship with you.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, that's great. Yeah, for sure. So, how do you do you feel the pressure to stay relevant with your kids? I mean, we know you're probably the coolest mom at school, but I don't know if if they think

SPEAKER_00

That no, they don't like that. We are the we are the cringiest. Nothing I say is cool. Meanwhile, it's funny because like Parker will say that like all my friends think you're so cool. Like, like, okay, and probably a little bit because of what I do, but also Matt and I are like cuckoo and silly, and I don't think like normal parents like sometimes when we're in the car and we're like scream singing or just being like maniacs, like I'll look back and they're like looking at us like we're nuts. And I'm like, would you rather us just sit here, like hands at 10 and 2, like not speaking, and like, no, like, isn't this more fun? Yeah. So yes, I they have moments where we where they definitely you can tell that they're realizing, oh, they're the best. And we do, like, we're buddies, like the four of us are for sure buddies, but in in an effort to stay cool, and I think I'm more on the pulse than most moms are, just because I have to be, because I'm on a channel that's like all pop culture and all like new music and things like that. So that that always makes me laugh a little when I come home and I say, like, oh, so you heard of like so-and-so, and Parker will be like, it's like so old. That that TikTok song was on, and I'm like, okay, you don't need to be a bitch. I mean, I don't say that, but like I honestly, I mean, she's like, she'll be 12 next month. And I'm like, I thought I had time before she was gonna start uh and rolling her eyes. No, I'm I I mean, as cool as I am, clearly I'm not cool at all.

SPEAKER_03

So even in their chase, they'll they give us like we talked about things, and it's funny, we were talking about something, and Chris's daughter's like, I really don't want to hear you guys talk about this. Like it was like it's like very cuffing seasons. We aren't allowed to talk about it. Yes, my daughter heard me say cuffing seasons. She's like, that should not come out of your mouth.

SPEAKER_00

And I was like, I mean, I think it 100% should come out of your mouth, and I think that makes you think. Exactly. Yeah, I think we're trying to be relevant. No, but you know what my I said to my mom, I was telling her, like, I think I was on the phone with her. I was like FaceTiming, we're just chatting about something, and Parker said something about like that, something that I made me uncool. And my mom goes, You know, this is payback. Like, payback's a bitch. Like, I tortured my mother. I still do. I'm like, you're such a nerd. My God, did you really say that? Oh my god, what are you wearing? Like all the time. And she said, This is just payback. And I guess I still do, and I don't even realize I do it. But like, I guess we hit a point where it's over and we'll be not cool forever. Yeah. So until the end of time. But that's fine. That's fine. I'll still torture her and make her think I think I'm cool.

SPEAKER_01

Exactly. So, well, her horns are probably starting to kick in. So you've got that coming. So that puts you, you know, soon you're gonna be that perimenopause, menopause. How well prepared do you feel for perimenopause and menopause?

SPEAKER_00

Not well. I know my mom, my mom told me, and I don't know if it is like, do you usually end up like going through it around the same time as your mom? Like, is it the same thing as like your period? Sometimes your mom gets it like earlier late, and so you do kind of thing. I think so. I think she got it later than she thought that she was gonna get. Like, I think she was in Perry for a long time and then went into Banaplaus week way later. Like it just lasted longer. I'm pretty sure, and again, you might have heard me say this. I wake up, this is the main thing I think that it is, is I wake up like the this morning, like we have to change the sheets. If they're drenched. Yeah. Drenched. Matt's like, that's because you boozed all weekend. I'm like, no, it's because I think I really am going to, but like, how can you tell? Like, I don't even know how to tell, like when it's happening. Can a doctor tell you or just you're guessing?

SPEAKER_01

Well, so it's a 10 to 15 year experience. Can't wait. It's not, it's like punched in the face every day. Yeah. It's not like all of a sudden, oh, I had perimenotause for a week and then I went into menopause. I had that for another week. You go through it for 10 to 15 years, and it's a matter of it's a it's a whole thing. That might be that maybe a conversation off air. I don't know. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

I don't know, but like I, and I listen, I'm sure my body sometimes is like sweating out things, and I'm a sweater to begin with, but like I don't remember it ever being like this. I mean waking up and I'm like, what is happening? I am in a puddle. Did I pee? No, it's my entire body. I did not pee. It's crazy. Oh, great. I can't wait for that either. It's all gonna be so awesome. No, but I do know like it can really start. Like, there's just like this, like it runs the gamut of years and when it can start and when like you're done. Yes. I mean, I have one of my best friends just with who's like maybe three years older than me. She just had a hysterectomy. She had, she had no choice. She had to. So, like, she's like done. I'm like, you kind of cheated. I feel like you cheated because like it didn't, she didn't really have to go through any of it because it's it's it's gone now. So she had to take some hormones, I think. Yeah, but she didn't really feel like she went through a lot. So yeah, and also I know that there's so many different, it can present in different people so many different ways that I'm always like, no matter what I feel, I'm like, is this it? Is it is it happening? Right.

SPEAKER_01

Am I crazy? Is it just that? I'm just crazy, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, yeah. But no, I don't think I'm well prepared. I think I try to like read as much as I can. I ask, I talk to my mom all the time. She's good. I love her. Um yeah, I mean, I just know that it could be a a gamut of things, and I I know the one thing I am for sure having is the the night sweats, and that's not something I'm enjoying very much.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, because we've talked about that. Like my mom used to, I guess they would all refer to it as the change. Um, but they never said anything. That was it. Like we didn't know, like didn't get anything.

SPEAKER_00

I don't like that.

SPEAKER_03

No.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, because I feel like it's like it makes it makes it like so mysterious. Yeah. It's like like it's like or taboo. Yeah, it makes it like something you're not supposed to talk about when it's really just not. I think I feel like I re saw something on TikTok the other day. It was in another country where they refer to it as something like the opposite. I don't remember the exact term that they use, but it made it positive, like this beautiful thing about aging. And I was like, Do you know what I'm talking about? It was like Korea or something. Yes, yes. And I was like, I love I love this. Like, why can't it be that everywhere?

SPEAKER_01

But it's like no the new life. It's like something like that.

SPEAKER_00

And again, if it is in Korea, I mean those those women look like there's a reason K-beauty is as popular as it is. I mean, they know what they're doing, their skin is immaculate, it's porcelain.

SPEAKER_03

So, you know, so that's really good that you and your mom have had like frank conversations about what to get better.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, my mom was always like almost uncomfortably, annoyingly like sex positive. Like we always talked, yeah, it is good. And I think I'm I I'm been the same way with Parker so far. We've not gotten there with Matt, but I think it'll be different or with Keegan. I think it'll be different. It'll be a different type of vibe and conversations that we'll start to have with a boy. But I tried to kind of replicate that because I think it's important just to like feel like she could ask questions because you don't want like I remember talking to friends about certain things when it was like even like people started like hooking up and like around periods and things like that. And I and I I just you get you get the wrong information if you talk to young girls, right? If you talk to your peers at that age, you're gonna be screwed. Like again, when I first when I first gave a blow job, I was pretty sure all you had to do was blow on a penis. And that's because I was given misinformation. And that was so good. It was the best he's ever had. Oh my God. He was like, What are you doing? I was like, I don't who knows. But like, I just want to- Wait, that's not it. No, I'm just kidding. No, no, I'm just kidding. That's it. I didn't have to touch it. I mean, that's it. It's an easy peasy. So it's not a job at all. Right. I feel like with Parker, I am trying to like plant those seeds. And so far, she has been very good and seems comfortable to come to me about things. And we've had many talks. But yeah, that's because my mom was really good about talking about things that were uncomfortable with me. And I'm very grateful for it. I might have not been at the time, but I am now for it.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, good.

SPEAKER_00

That's really good.

SPEAKER_01

So you've done research. Have you done any research on hormone replacement therapy?

SPEAKER_00

No. If I would if you could give me any information, I would find that like actually quite um lovely. Definitely will. Is that something that everybody can do? And it's just like a choice whether you want to do it or not.

unknown

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

How does it work?

SPEAKER_01

So they took that black box warning off of all the hormone replacement, which was like the big deal. You know, women shouldn't do estrogen replacement. They shouldn't do, you know, any type of hormone replacement because it causes cancer. Okay. Well, that most recently, what we did an episode on it. So it was like a few months ago. Yeah, just a few months ago, where they finally took this warning off and they realized that. So like when you have diabetes, you give yourself insulin. Right. And because your body isn't working properly and they they fix it that way. So it's the same thing, like with hormones, your body isn't making any more hormones. And when you and your hormones support things like cholesterol. Hormones are like the backbone of cholesterol, and you need your good cholesterol. And joint health. Joint health, bone density helps with so many other things rather than just sex drive. It's not just about that. Yeah, there's a there's a lot of research out there. We always tell everybody to do their own research, but I found it very beneficial to me. It was life-changing for me.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

But it's wondering changer.

SPEAKER_00

It really is. Yeah. And I know I know it's there, but I just always was under the impression, yes, I knew that there was like people were saying that it could be dangerous, like you're saying. But then also that it was just kind of like a a choice that like a lot of women were just like, I'm just gonna let this happen naturally. And if I lose all these things and and it starts to affect my health, it does. But I want to be proactive and I would rather be proactive and get ahead of it and try to do the things before all of a sudden it's like, oh no, that my bot my body's being affected negatively by this change, you know? Like I don't want that.

SPEAKER_01

Like your health legitimately is affected. Like I might I never had high blood pressure, high cholesterol. Suddenly I did, and it was because of menopause. But since I've been on hormone replacement, all those numbers are back in line.

SPEAKER_00

Okay. That's amazing.

SPEAKER_01

Crazy. Yeah. So I'm protecting my heart health and my body by giving it support that it needs.

SPEAKER_00

Did you feel any sort of negative, like, did you have any negative response, like your body at all? Like, is that like that would also be a reason why I think some people would be like, I don't want to do that. I want to put these like hormones in. Like, no, nothing. Nothing, nothing. No, felt great. Okay. Felt amazing. Give me more. Yep. Exactly. Yeah. Yep. Okay. All right. That's good to know. I don't think my mom ever did it. I should actually ask her. You should talk to her about it.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. I mean, especially, I mean, but she's older, so I'm assuming she would it might have still been like not taboo, but they still would have been worried about the side effects.

SPEAKER_03

And I think that what probably was that that generation and they were all worried about warning. Um very limited.

SPEAKER_01

We had a urogynecologist on, Dr. Betsy Greenleaf, and she said even women at like 65 benefit from vaginal estrogen.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Really? It's not systemic. It helps with UTIs. Yeah. So, like when at first, whenever we get older, we get more UTIs, and it helps with the prevention of UTIs. What else did she say it helps with? Just pelvic floor health, I think.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, your pelvic floor, the whole microbiome.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, your microbiome.

SPEAKER_00

I mean, had horrible UTIs like growing up. Like I still do. I get them like chronically. I can call my guy and I want to like, got another one. It's not like, okay, come in, let me see. It's like just calls in an antibiotic for me. And it started when I first became sexually active, and it was just like, no one told me to pee after sex. Then finally my mom was like, You're getting these all the time. Are you peeing after having sex? Because I was like, I had a serious relationship when I was 16. She brought me to the doctor to go on birth control. Like she knew everything was going on. And I was like, no. And she's like, that's why you're getting these. I was like, roll over, go to sleep. And I'm just like, I didn't know. But then after that, I just I would still get them, even if I did. I just was super sensitive. I didn't know this.

SPEAKER_01

Are you just but I was no, I didn't know this. I'm 56 year old and I learned the thing. I don't get them. And I definitely don't pee for sex all the time. I hate you. I love you, but I hate you.

SPEAKER_00

Because nothing is worse than when you just want to like roll over and go to sleep and cuddle. I want to get up and pee, cup and run and pee. No, but I always am. Um and now I'm wondering if that is something that starts to happen when you're older. If I was already predisposed to it and I was already getting them very easily, that maybe that's something that will reappear as I get older. So but I feel I just educated you. I'm so proud. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Who knew? Who knew? You gotta pay.

SPEAKER_00

You gotta pay.

SPEAKER_03

All right. So have you heard what midlife myths have you heard that you feel just need to like die and go away? Am I gonna dry up?

SPEAKER_00

You're not gonna dry up, honey. No, not with hormone replacement therapy. Not with hormone replacement. Yeah, you you do need to like yes, obviously, sex drive, like the I feel like the normal like stereotypes, like try up, your sex drive um goes down. I also just feel like, and this would be with age in general, like yes, like energy, like super, like I have been feeling like very lethargic. That's another thing. I'm like, I'm getting the night sweats, I'm so lethargic. No, Nicole, you need to sleep probably a little bit more.

SPEAKER_01

But like that's is that you feel like a myth or something that I mean that's part of like the hormone issue.

SPEAKER_00

Okay, all right. So not a myth, but something that can be fixed. Okay. Can be fixed. There we go. Yeah, I feel like those are the only ones that like are glaring for me. Um, I'm sure that there's a few that I've never heard that are probably absurd and I've just chosen to ignore them. Yeah. There's a lot, right?

SPEAKER_01

I yeah, I think so.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, let's not keep those going. Yeah, let's just fix it. But all those are fixable. Yeah, the ones that are. All those are fixable, yeah. Yeah, but that is. It's like, and and also like in general, I think our lives just become like busier and crazier. And so it's like, I don't know, you're not just like running around looking to bang. Like you've got children and you've got this life, and you're like, there's not enough as much time. Like I was saying to Matt, I remember like when we first would like start dating, and like first we're like in love. Like, I could have sex like multiple times in a day. I would rather die than do it more than once now.

SPEAKER_01

If I did it, hormone replacement. Okay, yeah, empty nest hormone replacements. Totally okay. You'll you'll be back to your multiples a day.

SPEAKER_00

Okay, you're making me like really excited now. I know.

SPEAKER_01

There's something to look forward to. That makes you get on hormones. Yeah, right. But yeah. All right. Well, we're both on hormone replacements. I love that. All right, so at some point, we are gonna be grandparents.

SPEAKER_02

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

Hopefully not soon. Not soon. I have a daughter getting married. Okay. My daughters are 27 and 25, and the 27 is getting married in April.

SPEAKER_03

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

So, and yours are 22 and 20. So I'm not sure. She has time. But we're gonna be grandparents at some point in time. So, from a parent's perspective, give us some a little bit of advice of how to be a good grandparent because we keep fucking shit up in their adult, young adult life, and we need some guidance.

SPEAKER_00

I mean, I feel like the the greatest thing that you can do is just be like willing to take them. Like, I think Matt's mom, Matt's mom and like my stepmom, because my parents were divorced and then remarried. My stepmom, who uh is with my father, she was young, a little bit younger, and she just wanted the kids whenever she was like, When can I have them? You guys go away. Like, of course, you can't always do that, but like there was nothing better than being like, oh, we need some time or we need to reconnect, and them being willing to. And I remember my mom was like still work. I mean, she's still working now, and I feel like she's never gonna stop working. So it was a little bit harder for her to take them all the time. She's will take them, obviously, if we go on vacation or something. But um, I think just being like there and being like, we'll take them, like that was like the greatest gift ever. Just knowing, because I have friends who would never leave their their kids with their parents or would only leave them with one of the parents because they just don't trust them. Like a lot of parents, I think, will be like, we did this already. Like, we raised you, we've got this, but you raised them when they were babies so long ago. Um and just, you know, also I just feel like being like an ear. Like, I remember getting home from the hospital. I I've told this story so many times because I was like so well, I almost I hemorrhaged really bad and I like almost died with both kids. They both tried to kill me. Have kids, they said it'll be fun. They said, Yeah. I mean, it's crazy. Like, I feel like we would have been one of the ones, like in the olden days, that you would have died, like died in childbirth. So I remember just being wrapped up in that, being like just so excited, having my first baby, and just like I was in the hospital longer than I was supposed to be, and then getting home. We're so excited to get home. And I walked in the house and I just started bawling, and it was just like, what's wrong? And I was like, now what? I just like keep her alive, like it just is so overwhelming. So just being like an ear or like it did not even like tell me how to do it, but just like, you're okay. Like Matt's mom came to stay with us for like a week. My mom came for a few days. I just feel like just a body. And even if you're not gonna help like uh Matt's mom, I keep saying Matt's mom because she's just older because Matt's the baby. So she was able to come instead of us having a nurse. We'd have to pay for a nurse. So she didn't always take the baby, but she would like do the laundry or help like cook something. It was just like you just feel supported. I just feel support in any way possible. I'll take the kids, I'll take the babies, I'll I can come here, I can drop off food. Do you want me just to come over for an hour? Like, just there, just like your presence in any way, shape, or form, I feel like was like his and will always be like the greatest gift when it came to grandparents. Because it is, it's overwhelming for everybody. It's like kind of intense for you guys because it's like, oh my god, we're this next stage of life. One that like I know I'm going to love. I I have a little ways to go, but I know I'm gonna love it. I know you guys will too. I feel like everybody does. It's like you get to do it again. Like it's like, but like now you can like hand them back. It's not like you're fully responsible. You get like the fun stuff. I think there's something just so great about being like, I could pick up the phone at any hour and be like, mom, this is happening. Should be like, okay, it's probably this, like just you know, just an ear, a body. Those I think are like the best things for when you become grandmas. And you guys are gonna be like the hottest, coolest grandmas. I'm obsessed. Obsessed. We can pull-ups, yeah. Yes. I have a question. Um, do you have a thing about what you'll want to be called? Because that was like a big discussion. I'm not gonna be grandma grandpa.

SPEAKER_01

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

My mom's memey, she refused to be, but it's all different ones. Do you know what you want to be called? So um my daughter's cat. Okay.

SPEAKER_01

I'm Gigi.

unknown

Oh.

SPEAKER_00

Yep. I like Gigi.

SPEAKER_03

So my nieces and nephews and my sister, that's my nickname. They all call me Gigi.

SPEAKER_00

Gigi. Yep.

SPEAKER_03

We're going to be. Okay. Gigi? Yeah. Oh my god, the Gigi's.

SPEAKER_00

I mean, I just think it's like cuter, right?

SPEAKER_01

Like it's just more fun. I was told, I mean, I'm totally up for whatever they want to call me. But yeah, I don't want to be grandmom or grandmy or nanny. Yeah. Nanny, nanna, a queen superior. I mean works. That actually works. Princess Sparkles, like whatever just works for you.

SPEAKER_00

You should do that. Yeah. I'm with you. I'm with you.

SPEAKER_03

All right. So here is another topic that we have in common books. We are in, we start I started a book club here. Okay. But we have a great group of women of like all different ages and stages in their life. So it's awesome. And I know that Chris um has taken some of your book recommendations. Yeah. So what would you recommend for our next book club?

SPEAKER_00

So I don't know. I'm in the middle of this one right now. It's called The House in the Pines.

SPEAKER_03

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

Really, really good. I've been into I need things like I is that one?

SPEAKER_01

No, it's one that I saw you had it, so I looked it up and recommended it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, yeah. That's the one I'm in the. No, all right.

SPEAKER_03

Well, we just gotta do a lighter one this this month because the last one was really heavy.

SPEAKER_00

So do you the one that there's one really heavy that you should do? I feel like it's really good because it's all about like the matriarchy and like and um the way that like your mom and your mom's mom and your mom's mom's mom like affected you and how like the trickle-down of um effect happens when there is abuse or not even just abuse, but just maybe a little bit of neglect or not knowing how to mother properly, and then how it just kind of domino effects. It's called The Push. That's another one I think I posted. Okay. I did not, I was like, I had trouble with it, but it's incredible. Like it's an incredible book. I really think that's a good one. And then I loved both the housemaids. I still haven't seen the movie. I have to see, you gotta go do that. Did you see the movie yet?

SPEAKER_03

No, but I read the book. They're crazy. But they're both really both books are really good, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

So good. Um, and then yeah, I like like like queer, kind of like thriller-y page turners. There was one, the the house, the cap or the house across the lake, I think it's called. Okay. That was really good. Riley Sager, she's a great, a great writer. I really like her. I don't know, I'm all over the place. I'm always and like, listen, I love a good like Emily Henry, but like I can fly through those in like two seconds, you know.

SPEAKER_03

And we just had somebody recommend God in the Woods. Yeah. That was supposed to be about a a little girl that goes missing, and it's kind of like back in time. Yeah, so that was one that was supposed to be a big book club hit and that she recommended.

SPEAKER_00

So I have another good one. Um, do you guys read Anniebot? Anniebot, you should. That's a good book club one. Oh, okay. It's like about a robot, but like almost like, you know, we have like you can get like like a robot, like a woman or a man now, kind of like I mean, not that it's like everywhere, but it's like that, and it's just how they bring them into the real world. It's it's so good. It's so creepy and cool. And it's like a that's a good one. It's a good discussion one. Like I wanted to talk to whoever I could about it that had read it because it was so like out there and really good. Yeah, it's a good one. Okay, yeah. All right.

SPEAKER_01

We just finished uh No Crying in Hmart.

SPEAKER_00

No crying in Hmart. Crying in H Mart.

SPEAKER_01

Crying in Hmart. Yes. Very sad.

SPEAKER_00

Very sad. Okay, so that's the heavy one that you need a little bit of a. Yeah. I feel like I haven't read like a funny one in a long time, and I feel like I could do something that like makes me giggle. I'm trying to think of there was a an author, I can't think of it now just because you're asking me, that like I read like a year or two ago, and I read a couple of his books and it was very, very funny. I'm gonna I'm gonna think of it and I'll email you and then you can tell everybody. But yeah, I feel like, yeah, after like a very heavy book or like one that's like upsetting or real scary and intense, you need like a breather, you need a breather book, a reprieve book.

SPEAKER_03

And that's why we're doing yeah, that's where we switched it up. What are we doing this with done? Something is it like the story life of Frederick Feifer?

SPEAKER_00

Okay, so we'll see.

SPEAKER_03

It's supposed to be cute, it's supposed to be whimsical and cute and things like that.

SPEAKER_00

Okay, do you guys ever look at like the like Reese's book club or like do you ever look look there for ideas? Yes.

SPEAKER_03

And we've like different things on Instagram, like people that post about book club sites. Everybody always goes to Goodreads to see, you know, how many what the ratings are. So everybody kind of throws that idea.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I read Pineapple Street from you.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, like Pineapple Street. Wasn't it cute?

SPEAKER_01

It was cute. It was cute.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, it wasn't like my favorite book, but like it was different and it was light. Yeah, I'd like to just like get lost because life can be heavy and things can get crazy and I can get lost book. And I wasn't always able to do that. Sometimes it'd be hard for me to sit down and read a book. And in my ultra years, I could just sit and read and read and read and read and read. I love it. That was good.

SPEAKER_01

Awesome.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Yes. All right. So we'll move on a little bit. What is the craziest, most ridiculous thing anyone ever shared with you in an interview?

SPEAKER_00

Gosh, let's see. I'm trying to think. I mean, I can't, I don't know if I can think of right now something like crazy that someone shared with me, but I'll tell you the people that kind of were really disappointing because of like the way that they behaved. And that's like people that you really don't want to be, like the like the Seth Rogens and Jonah Hills and Vince Vaughn's, like the funny, funny guys, and even Will Farrell, who was like good. But like I think there's something about when there's um an actor that's so funny like that, you want them to come in and be like wedding crashers, Owen Wilson or Vince Vaughn. Or you want them, yeah, and they take themselves so seriously, and it's like leaves such a like you're like, oh, like Jonah Hill came in with like rose-colored glasses on. We weren't even filming him. He had someone fixing his hair, and like he was like scoffing at us as we were asking questions. And I was like, I don't know who you are, but you're not invited back. This was like, we are like the easiest, like show ever. Like, there's like if anything, just play along. What are you doing? It'll be fun. I'm like, he did super bad, and he's gonna be serious. Thank you. Thank you. And I do think it was like a little, it would, it had to have been like a uh closer to when he had done Wolf of Wall Street. So maybe he fancied himself a little bit more of like a serious actor. That's the only thing I could think of. And then like you have people who like you have like a Paris Hilton who came in like years ago, didn't realize that she was like on um the radio and like no one could see her. So she kept like making cute. We didn't, we weren't filming that one. Sometimes we film them now, but like she was like making like cute like faces and being like, like I was like, I I had to go, I said, you have to give us more, sweetie. Like nobody can see you, so you have to talk. Like, and she was like, Yeah, and she did that a few times. Then she was talking about how she's a great cook. We were like, oh, and she's like, I make like great French toast. We were like, What's the recipe? Like, what's your French toast? She was like, Lots of like butter and like syrup, and I was like, Oh, honey, that's the time. And so, like, you get those moments, but then like people that you think are gonna be like not great, like sometimes like the bigger the star, the better they are. Like Lady Gaga, I could I could have sat and talked to her for hours. She's fascinating, she's thoughtful, she looks you in the eye, and and is like is so engaging. And those are the people that you're like, oh, I was so pleasantly surprised. But yeah, often I'm trying to get the crazy shit out of them and they won't give it to me. You know, I'm trying to find out like if they're dating so-and-so or if they ever had some like crazy experience on set, and they won't usually give it to me. But every once in a while I'll be able to. But yeah, it is interesting. It's always the people that you expect to be one way are the complete opposite. The complete opposite.

SPEAKER_03

People always surprise you. And they really don't know at the halftime show on Sunday. I have no idea. I mean, first of all, she's such a chameleon, like with her look. And when she came out, I'm like, is that Lady Gaga? And she's just like exquisitely beautiful.

SPEAKER_00

And yeah. And I think that she's like just known for like such acceptance and diversity and like just spreading love that I think it like made sense for him to choose her as one of the people. And I was I was pleasantly surprised to see that. Because everyone was like speculating who's gonna be, like, because they always bring out like the whoever the half-in performer is, they always like to have a few cameos or like they add like another band that comes out to do one song. And I thought she was a great choice. I thought she was a great choice. Yeah, I loved it. I loved her view. Yeah, it was great.

SPEAKER_03

So I know you know about your accident. How did your accident change your view on life and even uh your view on work?

SPEAKER_00

I mean, it did tremendously, and I and I I talk about this, I think, in hopes to like tell myself this, that it does give you perspective, uh like hardcore perspective. Like the little things do not matter anymore. You do not sweat the small stuff. But the further you get away from that like life-changing event, the more it's easy to kind of like fall back into like bad habits or old habits or just not having as much gratitude as like you could or should, you know? And I do remember it. I mean, just had the third anniversary, my life aversary. I'm gonna call it. I live survival day. Survival day. The more I think about it, like now that it's like been three years, I when I think about it, I think about being in the hospital and like everything that happened when people ask me questions. And it was really, it feels like a dream. Like, like a lot of memories, I get like they're my memory, like, oh, I remember how fun that party was or something. This feels like it was dreamlike. Probably in part in the fact that I was, they had so I had so many drugs in me because I was so battered, like just shattered pelvis, shattered clavicle, like all the ribs broken, like stapled all over my head. That I I think that it that that makes sense, that it feels dreamlike. But I try to sort of like celebrate that anniversary, even though it's like a sad, scary one, because I in hopes to like regain the perspective or force myself to be like, hey, it's another year that you're like here. You could have lost everything. Your family would not have had you, you would not have gotten to watch your kids get older and do all the things and become a grandma one day and all those things, and just just to try to remind myself. Because I think we all need to be reminded. I mean, that's why like on Thanksgiving, it's like a reminder to be thankful. I try to use that to talk about it with the kids, to self-talk to myself. But yeah, I think I was much more grateful and excited to go to work. I mean, I remember calling my boss and begging to come into work because I realized how much a part of my identity work was and how, you know, we all complain about going to work. And I recognize what I do is very fun and I'm fortunate not to do something that like I dread going to. But I missed it so much that I was like, they were sending me to the rehab floor. And I was like, I called him, I was like, can you please have the engineers bring the equipment and let me go back on the air from here? And he was like, Absolutely not. You are going to get better and then you may come back on. You know, he really wants me to focus on getting better, which is the right thing. But I realized how much I missed it and loved it and appreciated it and like yearned for it. And I realized like how loved I was, you know, like, you know, sometimes I feel like there are these people in the world that are doing things to like change the world, like doctors are saving lives and teachers are like teaching our youth. And I'm like, what am I doing to like affect the world? And people would tell me, like, my short drive in the morning, like you make me laugh or like you make me smile, make me kind of forget. Like it reminded me that that is something that I am giving back. And I try to, you know, remember that and be more aware of it when it's happening on a daily basis.

SPEAKER_01

Well, I always think about your strength that you must have inside you. You recover, like you're completely recovered. I mean, you don't you don't use a wheelchair, you don't use a walker. Like, I don't know if they expected that for you. I mean, it's really amazing.

SPEAKER_00

They did tell me, and I think I think I might have gone violent, not knowing I was, but right after the surgery, because they had to get there was no one that could do the surgery on the day that I got in the accident. They had to that was like so bad that they had to get the head of the HSS to they got they flew him home on vacation because it was so bad, and he was the only one that they trusted to do it. And I remember them saying, he's gonna be able to do surgery and fix you, but like there's a possibility you're not gonna walk properly again. They never said I wasn't gonna walk again, but it was properly, which could have meant like a host of things. And yeah, and I just remember being like, oh no, no, no, no, that's not, that's not happening. Like I'm I'm going to, and I'm, you know, and and my mom, as I've talked about so much in this episode, like I every time I felt like I couldn't do it, she would say to me, and I say it all the time still, I'd be like, I can't do it. And I would just cry when I just felt like I was like not making any progress. And she was like, You can and you will. And just and I would say it. And when I feel like I can't do something now, I always say, like, I can and I will. And you do, you gotta dig deep, and it's easier to dig deep when you have things like the job that you love and family that very young kids, they were like babies. When I look at pictures from them in the like coming out of the hospital, like they were so little, like they needed me. There were people that needed me, and so I did, I had to dig deep, and I I did. So I'm very proud to this day.

SPEAKER_01

Well, it was impressive, very impressive recovery.

SPEAKER_00

Thank you. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01

All right, Nicole, is there anything else that you would like to share with our audience? Any events you have coming up? Anything special you want to share?

SPEAKER_00

Gosh, um, no, nothing. Well, we're gonna be in Vegas, so I'm hoping there's gonna be some interesting things that come out. The last week in February, we'll be in Vegas and be broadcasting from there. So you never know. Last year when we were there, it was like Chris Angel and Katie Perry, and we had some really fun people. So hopefully we'll we'll give you some good content from the morning mashup and hits one uh the last week in February. But other than that, just uh doing the mashup, doing the pods, and just putting one foot in front of the other and doing this life thing, you know? Awesome. Do you guys strip it again this year? No, I mean, I Ryan was the one that was supposed to be put on the only one who didn't. And yet he didn't. So they are planning something for him in Vegas and to like as um, not like punishment. I mean, he got sick, he couldn't come, but we feel like he didn't get, you know, he didn't get got, okay? He needs to be he missed out, he needs to be made a fool of, just like Stan and I were, and uh, we plan on doing that. So, whatever it is, it's gonna be good. I just can't tell you what it is yet, but it's gonna be good stuff. And I'm so happy you guys invited me on. This has been so, so awesome. And you guys keep doing what you're doing, you're badass. I love it.

SPEAKER_03

Thank you. Thank you so much. And where else can our listeners find you? So we know you have your podcasts.

SPEAKER_00

Yes. So wherever you get your podcasts, um, have kids, they said, and satisfying are there. And satisfying, you can also watch on YouTube and then the morning mashup on series sex some hits one a.m. whenever you wake up Monday through uh Monday through Wednesday. That would be nice. Monday through Friday.

SPEAKER_01

I can't believe I forgot this in my introduction. I forgot my favorite part is you are the reigning age game champ. I am. Thank you. Yes, and that is the most important part for me and my family.

SPEAKER_00

Yes, it's a big one. It's a big one. Yeah. This year I'm kind of uh, I don't know, it's not looking good, but it's only February. I've got some time. You have got some time. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

I heard you today. I was like, all right, good, good, good, good.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, come, I'm coming around. I'm coming around.

SPEAKER_01

Yep. So all right. Well, we want to thank you so much for coming on Not Your Mother's Midlife Crisis. It has been awesome. It'll be cloud nine all day. We truly appreciate it so much. Yes. Thank you. Amazing. Yeah. And thank you to our affiliates, A Living Balance, the pelvic floor store, which you might want to check out, the pelvic floor store. Underapha.com and Patricia's School of Your Gift is your niche.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. And don't forget to order your um Not Your Mother's Midlife Crisis merch. And everything is gonna be in the show notes along with um Nicole's socials.

SPEAKER_01

So make sure to follow, download, and we're on Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok as well. And until next week, where we continue to seek answers for women's health care and support one another. Thanks, everybody. Thank you.

SPEAKER_00

Bye, guys.