Not Your Mother's Midlife Crisis

Rage and Reflection: A Mother's Day Special. Episode 51

• Christine Fennell and Christine Oliver

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In this heartfelt episode, Chris and Chris share their raw emotions about Mother's Day, navigating the bittersweet feelings of letting go, and the challenges of aging.  You will feel the rage and reflection as they spill all the feels.  They also explore topics like life skills for foster kids, hair and skincare tips, and the importance of community support.

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SPEAKER_03

Hello and welcome to Not Your Mother's Midlife Crisis. I'm Chris here with my amazing co-host Chris.

SPEAKER_00

Hello, Chris. How are you? Do you really want to know? I know. I know that we're going to call this the Rage episode. Oh, yeah. There's a lot of it. Yes. I just But you know what? We're on the same page. We are on the same page page.

SPEAKER_01

We're on the same rage page.

SPEAKER_03

That might be the name of this episode. Rage Page. All right. So, ladies and gentlemen, all of our listeners are few gentlemen listeners. Sorry for whatever comes out of our mouth this episode. Mother's Day was rough. Yes. Right?

SPEAKER_00

Yes, 100%.

SPEAKER_03

So I actually I'm gonna read this. I found well. I found this real and I read it and it made me cry, but I screenshotted every page because I thought I really want to read this on the podcast because it really sums it up well.

SPEAKER_00

And then I also saw it, but I shared it with you. I sent it to you because I knew that we were feeling the same way. Yes. And it also made me cry.

SPEAKER_03

Yes. And I didn't send it to you because I didn't want to make the day worse.

SPEAKER_00

But I must misery must love company, and I wanted you to join me with my misery. So I did send it to you.

SPEAKER_03

You wanted me to know you uh you understood.

SPEAKER_00

Well, just because we had talked about it and just seems so relevant, not realizing your algorithm sent it to you as well.

SPEAKER_03

Yes. So we both agree that this is to be shared with everybody. It was this very cute reel, mom on there, lots of different pages. But it says, no one tells you motherhood is a long goodbye disguised as a thousand ordinary days. One day your arms are never empty, and the next they walk ahead without reaching back. You spend your years driving them to school, bringing the forgotten book bags, sitting at practices, cheering them on, and losing sleep. You don't realize you're slowing working yourself out of a job. That one hit me. This was always the assignment to hold their hand until they're ready to let go of yours. It is building your own life around someone who is never meant to stay. That's another one. That's another one. Yes. Then it stops. No one tells you. You will grieve what is gone while being equally grateful it existed at all. Happy Mother's Day to our empty nest friends. Check on us. We are learning how to move on from a job we never wanted to leave.

SPEAKER_00

Yes.

SPEAKER_02

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00

Yep. It was so relevant and it sums it up. It was so hit home. You never know when that last like I would never have known that last Mother's Day I was gonna be my last Mother's Day that I'd have a kid with me on Mother's Day.

SPEAKER_03

Well, maybe we will again. But this one, we didn't know that this one was gonna be like this. This was actually my second. This is two years in a row. Okay. Anyway. All right, so typically our Mother's Day was we were all together. From the time Riley was a baby. We would be with my mother-in-law, we would barbecue, go to the beach, we would do something. Um but typically it would be barbecue, which I didn't always love because I always end up having to do stuff. I'm like, this really isn't working for me. But we were all together. It was just that was it. So this year was the second year without kids. Hated it, hated it a lot more this year than I did next last year. Last year it's like, oh, it's okay, and I made it no big deal. This year it sucked. And our number one fan really tried to make me happy and smile. And he couldn't. And that was very difficult for him to understand. It's, you know, his he was with his mom. It's and he was with his wife, who still felt like Mother's Day to him. My mom is gone and my kids weren't here. And I mean, it just, it just wasn't the same. So the kids they did send gifts and cards, and I did open up in the morning, and they were adorable and sweet. And I'm not trying to put this back on my kids. I mean, Aaron had just been here for my entire birthday weekend. We had a great time together, but I just it was it was very hard. And they texted in the morning, Erin called as soon as she woke up. Um, my other favorite daughter did not call me until 6 p.m. Because she was out doing fun things, which is great. I'm glad she's out doing fun things, but it would be nice if it would have been like, hey, before we go do these fun things, let me call my mom first to make sure that I take care of that first. I didn't, you know, I could be last every other day, but you know, maybe on Mother's Day, maybe, maybe can I go first? No, I I sound like a whiny bitch.

SPEAKER_00

No, because I hear you and I am in the club, in the club with you because this was my first Mother's Day without either kid. I did get beautiful texts, um, and I did get calls from them, but that's it. I do understand they're both at college, so it's like they're on a totally different wavelength. And while there are others that really went out of their way to make the day special, it's not it's not the same. And it still hurts not to be with your kids on Mother's Day. Um and I know, and so I am very fortunate that my mother is still with us, but she's in Florida. Right. And she's caring for my dad, and she's been in Florida for you know, 22 years. So that wasn't the same.

SPEAKER_02

And so she's been used to this. Yes. Maybe we should have her on for some advice.

SPEAKER_00

I know. But um and then to make matters worse for this weekend, on Friday night, my daughter texted a screenshot of her plane ticket because she is doing that internship I mentioned before in Alaska. Yes, but she's flying out earlier than expected. Who? So she's actually going to miss her brother's college graduation. And then instead of me getting to spend a few days with her, I'm now only going to be able to spend a few hours with her before she leaves. So my weekend was mostly cry. I know. My weekend was mostly tears and rage cleaning. And it was just so emotional. I'm so excited. Um I'm proud of like Seamus' upcoming graduation. Like everything just flies by. Like I remember vividly remember we've talked about it. I mean, him getting on the school bus for the first time, but yeah.

SPEAKER_03

I remember being at his high school graduation party.

SPEAKER_00

And it just so I'm heading to Virginia this weekend. I'm so excited for everything that's going on for the festivities. A big shout out to my sister Cindy, who's also Seamus's godmother. She's making the trek with me. I'm just so disappointed that Lucy is not going to be there to share in this like special milestone.

SPEAKER_03

It's and the girl time together. Yes. Yeah. Especially after not being with her. And when I just rub some salt in your wound. That's okay.

SPEAKER_00

But that, but so it was like that. Plus, then with Mother's Day. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

It's very heavy. I'm seriously struggling. Like the day-to-day, I'm okay. And I've I've found fillers. I'm I'm okay. But this Mother's Day hit very, very hard. And I don't like it.

SPEAKER_00

No.

SPEAKER_03

No like. No.

SPEAKER_00

It was, yeah.

SPEAKER_03

I'm here for you.

SPEAKER_02

Thank you.

SPEAKER_00

And I hear you loud and clear because I I I felt the same. I know we talked about like, listen, if this is going to be this way next Mother's Day, you and I have to just do something together. Right. We got to go big and plan it.

SPEAKER_03

Like a Thelma Louise. But we don't go on. No.

SPEAKER_00

It was so sweet people at the gym. How was your Mother's Day weekend? And oh my god, it all filled up and I started to cry. And they were like, oh God, we're never asking her another question again. I said it sucked. And they looked at me like, glad I asked. I'm like, well I know. I'm like, are we doing it? I think they were just, they were just trying to be nice.

SPEAKER_03

And I was like, and listen, we did have a lovely brunch. We we had brunch at Broducts with my mother-in-law. It was very nice. I did want to walk and go shop afterwards, but then nobody mentioned it. So then I was like, I guess nobody really wants to walk and shop because I'm typically the only one that usually wants to walk. So, you know, I just let it go. But yeah.

SPEAKER_00

So no But it but it's hard. Like, so this is just another milestone. So first you have them like graduating high school, then they're moving off away to college, and then they're out in the world.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Um, and it just happens. And I know that we're so proud of them. And we don't want to and their strength and their independence. And I've always told my kids, yes, get out of your comfort zone early and just to put yourself out there. But at the same time, I thought I'm over here. At the same time, part of me is like, maybe I should have been that overprotective like helicopter parent that makes them stay super close to home and that they are afraid to like venture out too far. Um because and that would be my that's me, my selfish thinking. So during yesterday at the end of the at the end of the workout, the um basically the cash out was to do a cardio was it like eight minutes of cardio.

SPEAKER_03

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

So my eight minutes of cardio was running with Tori and just bitching to her about this whole situation. She's like, oh damn my skin. She was probably like, I just need to run faster to try and get away from her. But she didn't. She stuck with me and she was so sweet because I did talk her ear off about it. So a big thank you to Tori for listening to me bitch and complain. And she slowed down to run with me. Right now. Um because so she could bear me. Yeah, she's very fast.

SPEAKER_03

She had a baby and bam, she's gotten so fast.

SPEAKER_00

But when I told her that, I was like, maybe I shouldn't have like encouraged my kids to like to to be adventurous. And to do that, she reminded me of that Teddy Roosevelt quote that said, Comparison is the thief of joy. So don't do that. Don't do that for a while. Yeah, don't go there. And I I did. I was like, thank you.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, that's that was important. I mean, I don't first of all, I don't think you're capable of of not letting your kids be who they want to be. Yes. You know, I don't think I don't think you would have enjoyed that. I don't think you know, I don't think yeah. So I think I think you parented great. And it's amazing that your daughter is brave enough to go off to Alaska by herself. I know. You know, it's just like Riley going down to Florida by herself. You know, it's like internship, go to Hawaii, go someplace great. Didn't know you weren't gonna come back. Wasn't my plan. But but she was strong enough to do it. Yes. And that and that's great. It's it's just that they're still the biggest part of our life, and we're not the biggest part of their life anymore. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

You're like, your heart, yeah. Your heart just aches. Like that's what it is. My heart just aches.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And that I think is like the difficult part. I remember when the kids were when they first go to school, like even if it's like daycare, preschool. I remember my sister, she had pointed out, she's like, they have they are already having a little life outside of us. Yeah. Like they're experiencing all that and like living their day. So and I mean it starts there. And now, I mean, this is on like this larger scale with the people in their lives and their their jobs and their interests and where they're living.

SPEAKER_03

That's a good point because like we're used to getting reports from the teacher or report cards or feedback from coaches. You get all this feedback. It's not like we can call their boss and say, How did they do today? Yes. I know. Which I would love to do. Imagine.

SPEAKER_00

And you don't want to when you talk to them, just pepper them with questions. But yeah, at the same point, it was so all right. So, what did you learn before you forget? Or do you want me to go?

SPEAKER_03

You can go. Or wait, did you want me to go? It doesn't matter.

unknown

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

I I I really don't have anything. I I feel like I didn't learn anything other than I'm like a other than I I had a tough Mother's Day. The only thing I did learn or want to acknowledge was that people come into your life for a reason. And I am extremely grateful for my village, if you want to call it. And even a shout out to Betsy. I was just our dear friend Betsy. Both have the same thing. Yes, because um, like God bless her, the same thing people just they do, they just go out of their way. And that it's like those little things, you know, people texting to just be like, Oh, I'm wishing you on Great Mother's Day weekend, or just spending time with you. And then Betsy had dropped off flowers and a card for both of us and her kids like a little picture on the back. And it was so sweet. And she dropped it off, and I was just getting out of the shower, my hair is wet, and I see it, and I just start to cry because it was like one, it was just that kind of weekend. I run out to Betsy's car. I make her roll down the window, I hug because and I even told her I saw her in the gym, and I was like, I can't even begin to tell you how much that meant to me.

SPEAKER_03

Yes. And I had come home from a gymnastics meet, and Brian was like, Oh, yeah, Betsy and Julia were here. He's like, she's so cute. He's never really gotten to talk to Julia. And uh he said they left you flowers and this little note or whatever. And it was so sweet. I was like, that was the nicest thing. It was so thoughtful. Mm-hmm. It was yeah, so intuitively thoughtful. Yeah. So thank you, Betsy.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I know. So I'm extremely I'm extremely grateful to everyone, everyone in the village.

SPEAKER_03

Except for Mother's Day. Well, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_00

But I mean what they try to do, like everybody that was there to like that really the village, yes. Yeah. Like checked in on checked in on me. Right, yeah.

SPEAKER_03

I'm proud of you turning our bitch fest into a podcast.

SPEAKER_00

That's why I had it, I had it, yeah.

SPEAKER_03

That's good good fun.

SPEAKER_00

That's what I have to, yeah. How about you?

SPEAKER_03

So I learned I was on a Casa Zoom last week, and it was given by the alumni of the foster system. They have their own committee.

SPEAKER_02

Oh.

SPEAKER_03

And so they're kids that are in the process of aging out, like they're in their early 20s. Okay. One might have been 19, one might have been 20. Um, but they're part of this committee that tried to fill in the support systems of the missing gaps in the foster care system. And these girls, they were either in college or graduated college. They spoke so emotionally mature and were able to communicate exactly what their needs were and what their feelings were. I was so, I cried while I was on this big baby too, a Mawani baby. My God. But it was just so, and it was just kind of an emotional thing. But one of their biggest, the biggest weakness is like for these foster kids to go to college. Sure, they have money and stuff for college, but there's nothing for like a car or learn, get your insurance or how to register a car, how to maintain a car. There's no education or financial support in this area. It's like, oh yeah, we're gonna give you all of these dollars to get to to go to school, but they can only be used for books and the education. I, you know, can't doesn't matter if you can't get there. So it doesn't, it's like there's this missing piece.

SPEAKER_00

Like little life skills.

SPEAKER_03

Right. Right. So I actually I was really kind of like surprised by that. So I reached out to a friend who's in the car business, and right now we're talking through possibly coming up with a a class that's like two to three hours, and you give it, you know, two to four times a year to try and fill the at least the educational gap in. So that is there's me using the tribe. So that's a thing to really be grateful for.

SPEAKER_00

So and I'm sure even probably even financial literacy would be something helpful for them. Like to give them this money, like about managing money, about it, about doing kind of budgets. Right. Um Are you volunte I would volunteer for that?

SPEAKER_02

I bet you would.

SPEAKER_00

I a hundred percent would. Because I it's so important. Yeah, like the importance, yeah, like whether it be like what a a credit score, what does that mean? Right. Whether about with credit cards, with banking, about looking for like the best deals, um, how to manage your money, how to do a budget, and what to account for. Because again, you could buy the car, but if you spend all your money on the car, then you didn't account the things that you don't get. Insurance, registration, maintenance, registration, gas.

SPEAKER_03

Right. The maintenance of of change in the oil and how like those things. So that would be important, that whole financial piece.

SPEAKER_00

Um and just to help them answer questions about it, like different benefits and what's gonna happen.

SPEAKER_03

And yeah, and I kind of always I think, and you know, everybody kind of assumes, oh, well, the foster parents probably help them with that, but not every foster parent does. And a lot of times when they're older, they're not always with the same foster parent more than they don't all get adopted. They don't find permanency. So sometimes they are moving from house to house or um group home, you know, six months to a year. Yeah. So there are a lot of lessons, life lessons get lost. Support your foster kids.

SPEAKER_00

I'm glad you're doing that.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. Well, hopefully, well, we got the uh got somebody working on the car part, and now I got someone for the financial piece.

SPEAKER_00

And you know we could get sued too.

SPEAKER_03

Oh yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

She would love to do it. We can tag team on the financial literacy part of it.

SPEAKER_03

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

All right, we're on it. Okay. We do it.

SPEAKER_03

Let's do it. Oh, that's it. All right. See, we just made ourselves happy. Yes. Yeah. But now we're gonna move on to this just pisses me off.

SPEAKER_01

Okay.

SPEAKER_03

Do you want me to go first? Yes. It's been a bad week. Because like this was last week. It's like in the middle of the week, I'm out doing stuff and whatever. I stop at CBS, I get some Mother's Day cards, I had to get a couple sympathy cards too. And then I go up, I pick up a prescription, I walk up to the you know they have there's a kiosk. I don't know if you've picked up a prescription lately, but they have a kiosk. You go up to the kiosk, you start punching and everything. I walk up to the kiosk, I touch it, and it gives me a screen, and then all the screen goes away in like a second. I'm like, wait, the screen was just there. And it says, sorry, we're at lunch from 1:30 to 2. Come back at 2. The lady next to me is in the middle of her transaction. The two people are right there, and I'm like, oh, I just got this screen. They're like, oh, yep, sorry, we're on lunch now. I'm like, but you're not, because you're you're there right there. I see you. I see you standing right there. Like, and and they're like, no, really, sorry, you have to come back at two. And they're like, it's a it's a whole system shutdown. So I mentioned it to Rita, our dear friend, 86-year-old friend Rita. She's like, Yeah, they do it in Florida too. And I'm like, Yeah, I was I couldn't believe it. She goes, just don't go between 130 and 2. I'm like, thanks for the fucking tip. Well, why couldn't they stagger the lunches? Why does it all have yeah, I don't understand that either. Why aren't the lunches staggered? What business do you know closes from 130 to 2? Yes. I mean, maybe doctor's offices. Yes.

SPEAKER_00

But then you wouldn't have an appointment scheduled. It's not like you're just popping in.

SPEAKER_03

Right. This is a store where you be like, hey, deli calendar's closed. Gotta come back when we come back off lunch.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. You know? That doesn't, that's annoying. Especially when they're right there. That's almost like a Seinfeld episode. Yes. Like you see good people and they're like, we're at lunch, but like, no, you're not at lunch.

SPEAKER_03

You're like, you can't see me. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, you're not at lunch. I could see you taking care of somebody. You could also ring me up.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. And I was like, I just I wish we had other choices. We were on a small island and we don't really have choices unless we want to venture over the bridge. And that's, you know, first world problems here. I know. I have nerve complaining.

SPEAKER_00

I still have my prescriptions with Wegmans, and Wegmans will mail them to you. They have home delivery. So now, like even today, progesterone is up for like um and they're like, Would you like to renew? And you hit the you know, enter 30, yes, and they mail it to you. They charge it. Now, granted, for new prescriptions, I did have to go to CBS.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, because you can't drop it off it. Yeah, can't you? Can't you send it to Wegmans for me where I used to live? And customer service is is kind of dead. Customer service?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. Because think about it. We've talked about it where it's now an automated insurance. Yep.

SPEAKER_03

We've done a lot of things.

SPEAKER_00

And you just have to wait online, you're on hold, hit this number where I'm always like representative to the yelling into the phone, yeah. But yeah, so now you can and you actually see the person, but they're still not going to take care of them. All right, so mine is a little more personal. Okay. I realized it the other day. Mine is I can no longer see my whiskers or like chin hair without if I unless I have glasses on or use a magnifying mirror.

SPEAKER_03

Okay. You have to get a I think my magnifying mirror is times 15 because I've had the the 10 times one. That wasn't enough. Oh, really? We got to get you, yes, you need to get a so someone said, Oh, you have something at your lip.

SPEAKER_00

And I realized what might was on my lip. Yes, it was a whisker. I'm like, there's nothing on my lip, it's a whisker.

SPEAKER_03

And and I was like, oh my God, I missed it because I can't see it in the mirror. I can't see it. Right. Like all of a sudden, if if we go away and I didn't I don't have a mirror with me, you come home, you're like, oh my God, look at all the like extra eyebrow hairs I have in the middle. Yep.

SPEAKER_00

So now I have to make sure I like spend that time on, you know, set aside my time with my magnifying mirror to like inspect my face for all the stray whiskers. I always get that one.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And I have to be conscious of it.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. The things we have to worry about. And I will say that's one thing that I have not had success with, with like the whole HRT. I even told Susan, I'm like, hey, how about the HRT you're supposed to take care of these little problems here? And she's like, yeah, sorry, they don't really.

SPEAKER_00

And then the funny part is when I walked in today, I'd be like, oh, you look good. You're like, but I don't have my glasses on. I was like, well, something you're not gonna be able to see my chin hair or my whiskers.

SPEAKER_03

But years later, I'm like, ha, I'm that that that's chips out for me a long time ago. I don't know remember what it was, but I was like and I've I've told my children, I'm like, if I ever end up in the hospital or something or I'm unconscious, you make sure you take care of anything that's on my face that shouldn't be there. Anything. I don't care what it is.

SPEAKER_00

Like I've given my sisters any like, please, you have permission to just like pluck, just take it and pick it up. Do whatever you gotta do.

SPEAKER_03

Yes.

SPEAKER_00

But yeah, that was the I realized that this week and I was like, I'm up To spend enough time in the magnifying mirror doing my whisker inspection. Because I can't see it.

SPEAKER_03

No, we can't see it. Yeah, it's like, oh, I think I look good. And then I look like up close. I'm like, oh my God. Bye.

SPEAKER_00

Sucks to get old.

SPEAKER_03

All right. All right. Letters to my young self. Okay. So I will. So my letter is. This is for all the young moms. My letter to myself, but to myself, younger, obviously. And to all the young moms. I was like the, I think I was like the all mom. Like, I was the fun carpool mom. I was the let's do anything like exciting mom. We did great vacations. They tried every activity. We were bonded pretty tight. Like, I'm pretty sure my kids pretty much told me everything. I mean, they're gonna come back and be like, we didn't tell you this or that. But for the most part, they told me everything. And my letter would be you need to prepare yourself for that tiny human that you dedicate your every breath to is going to break your heart many of times. They are. And you need to save something for yourself so you can survive those brokenhearted days. And you can't take it personally. Kids aren't doing anything wrong. But you just have to be prepared because that's the job. And they're going to break your heart. And it's it's just hard. It's harder than you think because you're being the mom that is all these things. So you are so you're so close to them. And I think that's where my sudden epiphany is, is that we're still so sponded to them, but they're supposed to grow and and develop other relationships.

SPEAKER_01

I mean, that's what's supposed to happen. So yeah, prepare yourself, ladies. Yeah. Yeah. I I agree. A hundred percent. 110%. I can't.

SPEAKER_00

It's I wish I could've I wish I would have and you and you're gonna you're gonna just you you love them and you love them so hard, and it there's nothing and and you just feel helpless. That's probably the thing.

SPEAKER_03

Just be prepared to feel helpless. So what knowing this now? Knowing what uh is there anything you would have changed? Like what could we have changed so we don't get as hurt? How would we prepare? Is it just knowing that you're like it's gonna happen and or is is there something we can do to prevent it, prevent the pain? I don't think there is. Yeah. I was afraid you're gonna say that.

SPEAKER_00

Yes, I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_03

I was really hoping you were gonna say something super profound.

SPEAKER_00

There's nothing. I feel like that that's what it is. Like, yeah. That's why mothers are badass strong bitches because you have to be you have to brace yourself for everything. Right. Until our heart gets broken. Yeah, and then we're total mush. Correct.

SPEAKER_03

But we're still gonna like love you and adore you and all the things. It's just yeah. I know. Yeah, I really. Anyway.

SPEAKER_00

Yes.

SPEAKER_03

Again, be ready.

SPEAKER_00

All right. Well now we have to move on to something fun. Okay. Which is this is one's my favorite always is 50 shades of health or beauty.

SPEAKER_03

Mine's not gonna be fun. So you want me to go first? You can. So I have planned to get that pure luxe treatment that Rex talked about. Yes, it's the smoothing treatment. There's only so many people that have it. Rex, uh they don't have the proper light, so I couldn't get it done at Razier's. So I found a place, it was an hour and 40 minutes away. Wow. Still in New Jersey. Still in New Jersey. Okay. In Pennington, Pixie Salon. So I kept getting texts saying, don't cancel less than 24 hours ahead. Don't cancel less than 24 hours ahead. 22 hours before my appointment today, I got a text saying, sorry, we've had to cancel your appointment. I'm like, I'm leaving for Florida on Friday. I'm supposed to get my hair colored on Thursday. And they canceled it because they gave one of those treatments this weekend and they don't have enough product left. And it the shipping took longer than they thought.

SPEAKER_00

Wow. That's poor business planning. You're not only gonna have enough for one client at a time?

SPEAKER_03

I made this appointment over a month ago. I kid you not. So I was going to tell you how excited I was to go for my pure luxe appointment. But now I'm gonna tell you how pissed off I am still continuing the rage page episode that I'm not gonna get.

SPEAKER_00

So, what are they gonna do for you since they canceled on you less than 24 hours ahead?

SPEAKER_03

They offered to do a keratin treatment. I'm like, I'm not driving an hour 40 minutes for a keratin treatment. I can do that here. So they offered me an appointment May 27th or 28th. They don't work for me. So I honestly I haven't even replied to the latest thing. But I had to give them a credit card first. Um actually, they charged me $52 on my credit card for the appointment. So I need to get reimbursed for that.

SPEAKER_00

Wow. Well, when they should have, when they charged you $52, they should have ordered the product and made sure it was in and plenty of time.

SPEAKER_03

That's kind of what you think you're you're paying for. You're paying for them to make sure that they have the product. Pixie Salon, don't think I'm coming back.

SPEAKER_00

No. Bad, bad business.

SPEAKER_03

And then I was gonna say that maybe in the fall, because I I really am having a lot of breakage, that callusum treatment that Rex had talked about. Yeah. So I might do that in the fall. We'll see. I don't know if I'm just I ripped my hair out too much or if the follicles are getting smaller, all the other stuff.

SPEAKER_00

I'm gonna take some from my chin and bring it up to here. It'd be amazing. Because I had like all this, I had breakage up here, but I think it's just because it's been so cold. I can't let it air dry. You have to like I've just been blow drying it a lot.

SPEAKER_03

God, that's hilarious.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

It's like when we used to say, can't I just take fat somewhere?

SPEAKER_00

No, it's different priorities. You're right. So I my hair has been frizzed out from the damp, the rain, yeah, the humidity, whatever it's been. So, but I'm going, I'm just gonna do a curaton treatment.

SPEAKER_02

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

Well, apparently I am too. So man.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. I can't believe oh, that's a bummer punch. Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

So we recently got a question from our friend Deanne about hair sunscreen. And so I had texted her just to share with her, so I'm gonna share with everyone that I probably for the past two years have used it's Kula C-O-O-L-A brand. Okay. And it's an SPF 30 and it's a hair and scalp um sunscreen mist.

SPEAKER_03

And I don't think I've ever noticed you use it.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, yeah. So I always have one at home that when I'm doing my like I spray it on my part and around my hair. And I usually put like a leave-in conditioner in my hair before I go to the beach. And then I always have one in my beach bag and then I like reapply, even though I try and wear a hat, but still, and it's good. I even kind of do it on my ears and things like that. So I highly recommend it. It doesn't dry your hair out. Okay. It is, you know, I guess it would be like sensitive, but it's always worked. I haven't got my scalp burned. Where do you get it? So you can get it at Amazon or to usually order it like online. Okay. Um, I have not gone to like a cool probably also has their own website, but I have not done that. But yeah, it's really good. And then the other thing I'm trying. Yeah. So I think I mentioned on a previous episode, I love New York Times Wire Cutter for recommendations. Okay. So, of course, there's the email. And Wire Cutter did a whole article on French pharmacy skincare. It's a big deal. Like I know my girlfriend Maureen, she travels over Paris, it's like one of her favorite places in the whole world to travel. And she said, when you go over there in their pharmacies, the skincare is amazing.

SPEAKER_04

Wow.

SPEAKER_00

And you can get everything, like, is it La Roche-Pose? And it's so much like less expensive than to get it here. So they were analyzing all the best French pharmacy skincare. And it could be from like body wash, cleansers, everything like that. So one of the things that they had was about sunscreen, and it was um, it was an SPF 50, and the brand was SVR and it was a moisturizing sun water. So it was That's interesting. Yes. And you have to so I ordered two bottles because I of course the one I didn't know, of course it didn't but the but they said it the same thing. It's really good for your skin. It's very hydrating, it's for sensitive skin. All right. It's an SPF 50. But I again I order one from home and then I order one for my beach bag because when you order it, you have to pay like the customs fees. If you look on Amazon, they don't have it's not the same brand, and it's a little bit more expensive. This was $12 for a bottle.

SPEAKER_03

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

Um, you have to shake it up, but when you do, when you put it on, it is really just like water and it doesn't, it's not greasy. So I'm really anxious to use it, try it, and then tell everybody about it.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, I want to I definitely would like a rapport pack.

SPEAKER_00

So huh. Yeah. That's pretty good. Yeah. So it was um, and it has like UVA, UVB protections, safe for like little kids, everything like that.

SPEAKER_03

So yeah.

SPEAKER_00

So I'm going with it. I'm gonna try it. But hopefully we will have beach days soon.

SPEAKER_03

What was our annoyance with skincare last year?

SPEAKER_00

Annoyance?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, remember we were last summer, because Raya had given us a lot of um here was there was the black baby sunscreen that we were using. But what was our annoyance? We were annoyed with sunscreen for some reason. Well, a lot of it had the white.

SPEAKER_00

Is it with the mineral? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, the mineral, because it said you have to use like a mineral is much better for you. Is this one a mineral?

SPEAKER_02

I don't know.

SPEAKER_03

Well, there you go.

SPEAKER_00

All right. But I'll show it to you. All right, I I can't wait. Okay. We'll test it out. But I've tested it on, like I've sprayed it on and it really does feel like water.

SPEAKER_03

That is and then you'll be like, okay, then you'll be worrying that it's not really working. And it's it's not the aerosol, so I feel like it's gonna be better. So I get it. All right, well, I definitely wouldn't know if it actually works.

SPEAKER_00

So good. But yeah. So I'm like, I'm wishful thinking into summer. So hair sunscreen, body sun sunscreen.

SPEAKER_02

A lot of sun. We're hoping for lots of sun. Yes. Yeah, it's still cold.

SPEAKER_03

Everybody else in New Jersey that's not by the beach, it's what, 75 today? Not here.

SPEAKER_00

55 No, I think it's yeah.

SPEAKER_01

It's just windy. Yeah, it's 5560.

SPEAKER_00

So I had a a long sleeve, no, I had a hooded sweatshirt and a vest this morning walking the dog. And it was windy. Yeah. I could have easily and somebody I passed by, they had a hat on. I could have easily had a winter hat.

SPEAKER_03

It's May. May gosh. All right. Well, I think that's it. Yeah. So I feel like I could stay on here and bitch a little bit longer, but maybe you and I will just do that separate. I know.

SPEAKER_00

But you know what I mean? Sorry, that I know that it was a tough weekend for both of us, but I'm just so glad that I have you. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Very lucky. Yeah. And misery loves company. But I love you.

SPEAKER_03

All right. Well, thank you to our affiliates, underoutfit.com and the pelvic floor store. Next week, we're going to have on Karen Bartholomew. She's the creator of the pause method. She is going to be teaching us how to slow down.

SPEAKER_02

I like that. Yeah. Very nice. Yeah. All right.

SPEAKER_00

And then please download, please share, please like. We're getting really close to that thousand downloads. Yes, we are. We were at like 9 36.

SPEAKER_03

Yes. But go download the old episodes too.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, because you may not like this one since we're complaining.

SPEAKER_03

Just delete it out and download it.

SPEAKER_00

But we appreciate it.

SPEAKER_03

This was a real bitch session.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. But we hope everybody else had a wonderful Mother's Day.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, we do. Happy Mother's Day out there, everybody.

SPEAKER_00

Because all you moms rock.

SPEAKER_03

Yep, absolutely. Well, until next week, where we continue to seek answers for women's healthcare and hopefully not bitch anymore.

SPEAKER_01

No, and support one another. Have a good one. Thank you.