Not Your Mother's Midlife Crisis

Balancing Summer Chaos In Midlife EPISODE 60

• Christine Fennell and Christine Oliver

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0:00 | 48:42

Join us as we explore how to maintain your fitness routine, nutrition and all over  health during the chaos we call summer.  We also share personal stories in this engaging episode of Not Your Mother's Midlife Crisis. Hear some fun anecdotes, alcohol intake thoughts  and our best summer tips for your whole body.

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SPEAKER_00

Hello and welcome to Not Your Mother's Midlife Crisis. I'm Chris. This is my co-host Chris. Hello, Chris. How are you doing? I'm good. How about you? Good. So good to be back with you. I missed you. We had three weeks in a row of guests. Yes. It was great. So such a privilege. Um, but like it's such a date like you and I have this standing date, and I didn't realize how much it helped balance me until I didn't have it. So, girlfriends, if you don't do something with girlfriends, it do it. Because like you you tell your spouse or your partner stuff, and you tell your kids stuff, but they don't always hear you the same way or really give a shit about what you're saying.

SPEAKER_01

The way your girlfriends do.

SPEAKER_00

Right, like because they they don't they can't identify, so they're listening because they know they're supposed to, but not hearing you and not understanding.

SPEAKER_01

And looking forward to hearing you. Yes. So I appreciate you. I know, I appreciate you too. And I know a lot of the times we save our stories or what we want to tell each other until we're recording. Yes. So it's it's real, like the reaction's real. Right. Uh the response is real. So I have been like I've seen up things, but I want to tell you this, I want to tell you this.

SPEAKER_00

I feel like we're gonna be like blah blah blah blah blah blah. You know, so much stuff to say. And then um having Dr. Christy Bayer from MIDI Health, that was so cool. Like a billion dollar value company came on our podcast.

SPEAKER_01

Yes, 30,000 patients a week. I expect them all following.

SPEAKER_00

Yes, and here they are.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, yeah, we got to talk to her on on our podcast. Download new people, yes, you know, uh-huh. You can learn fun things in addition to the all the great medical advice and information that you're getting from Midi Health, then you can get all the other stuff. Yes, you can get the girlfriend side of it.

SPEAKER_00

Yes, they need to do it, yeah. So, yeah, so I had um three weeks in a row of our guests, but I had four weeks in a row of guests at my house. Yes, which was great, not complaining, but it really gets you off your health. Yes. Requirements, not requirements. Your routine gets you definitely off your routine as far as the eating and the drinking. Um, it's a struggle. It is a struggle, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

And I think it's just this time of year because you're you're busy doing things, there's more activity, you're outside. Yes, um, it's more social. And again, with the company, it it does because you want to make sure you're not gonna be like, oh, hello, company, let me give you my my healthy food.

SPEAKER_00

You know, I could only shake and we're going to the gym.

SPEAKER_01

Yes, we can only have you know some yogurt and fruit, and that would be fine maybe for one day, but you really do want to make people feel welcome. And it's a lot of times it's their vacation or their mini vacation, and they're coming to see you. So you really want to you know kind of roll out the red carpet. Yeah, and you're such a great hostess.

SPEAKER_00

Well, no, you are. Well, you'll have to ask them. But no, someone that's been at one of your events, you're a great hostess. Well, an event, but you know, far length that but so like during the week, I'm really good at keeping to my you know, my routine, but then on the weekends I do whatever. Yes, you know, I'm I'm super happy to let go. So, but so this is like letting go during the week, and then letting go more on the weekend. I'm like, I'm falling, you know.

SPEAKER_01

I know. Yeah, because I I'm like you, I try and be eat clean, you know, no drinking anything during the week. Right. Because then you can enjoy the weekends and not feel guilty about it and just like kind of but I know I've been having drinks during the week here and there with people coming, or just the way it's it, you know, the with the holiday, especially Fourth of July that just passed. Yes. Um, you know, I was away visiting my parents. Um there's always something. And having like people in, and you're like, yeah, let's have a drink, or you know, let's do happy hour. And then I could tell you last week I had ice cream for dinner one night. We did it. During the week and on s this past Sunday, went and hit golf balls and then had ice cream for dinner on Sunday night.

SPEAKER_00

I mean, there's protein in there. I've never frowned upon ice cream for dinner.

SPEAKER_01

I know.

SPEAKER_00

I used to do it with my kids every Sunday.

SPEAKER_01

I always used to do it. Seamus and I, that was our special thing. Yeah. Um, to have ice cream for dinner.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I I get it. Like, and then I would always try to, like, when I'm missing the workouts, do something like walk when I can. I would do walking lunches in my house randomly. Um, and I I mostly do that because I get restless legs at night, and I know if I don't wear my legs out enough that they seem to be worse with a restless leg, and that affects my sleep.

SPEAKER_02

Yes.

SPEAKER_00

And I can't have that. Um, but I do have like other little things that I try. Um, what about you?

SPEAKER_01

I am like you, and I definitely need to have some kind of workout routine. Yeah. And maybe it's this summer is definitely a lot different um than in the past. So maybe the times that I go or what I'm doing, or I like your new time schedule.

SPEAKER_00

I know, because then we get to work out together too. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

So if it's um, in fact, Tori was um teasing me saying, I can't cherry-pick the workouts, I'm like, why can't I cherry pick the workouts? If I like the 645 and the 530, I'm coming to so, but I feel like if I can get that workout in, uh, then that's good. And but maybe if it's if I'm gonna do something like take the dog for a longer walk, or take an extra walk, or ride my bike when I can. Like, I always ride my bike to the beach. It's just something I feel like mentally, I'm like, okay, it's just that little activity, or taking a walk on the beach.

SPEAKER_00

Don't do it tomorrow. It's gonna be 96 degrees here.

SPEAKER_01

And I will be getting ready for my next adventure to Alaska. Right. I'm so excited for you.

SPEAKER_00

I'm so excited.

SPEAKER_01

Which will throw me off of my routine, not just for the travel and the time zone, because I'm gonna be four hours behind you. Right. But um, I'm still looking forward to seeing my baby girl.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, I bet you are. I'm super, super excited for you. Yes. Um, wish it was me. I bet you were coming with me, yes.

SPEAKER_01

And I it it wasn't on my bingo card to go to Alaska this summer. Oh, it's on my. Um it's been it's on my bucket list and to do like the Alaskan cruise and the explore. It would not have been necessarily this summer. Um, but I'm really looking forward to to going and seeing it. And she was so sweet now when I called her. She's like, you know, I've only been there um a couple months now. She's like, but I am so excited to show you Alaska and how beautiful it is. And she's explored different places.

SPEAKER_00

You better not stay.

SPEAKER_01

No, I don't think she'll stay. Okay. No, she's I think she's she still has to come back for school. She's finished. She's ready to come back to school and ready to come back. And yeah, I know. But um, but I unlike the past where I would really beat myself up about going off my routine or maybe having ice cream for dinner like a couple nights a week, I I've tried to take a new approach and just realize like, okay, it's just a small, I will get back on my routine, I will not lose my routine, um, just because it's important. But to then really appreciate like the memories, appreciate the weather, right, appreciate all our times with friends, I mean with loved ones. I mean, it's I think that part's important too. So I'm trying to find that balance. Right.

SPEAKER_00

Because I think habits are your health. Yes. So what you do habitually is really what counts in your health. When you have these off things, that's okay, but it does feel like right now that my habits are eating and drinking, and it's not so much the eating that I have a problem with because I usually like you know mostly healthy food, it's the drinking and desserts.

SPEAKER_02

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

So some little things that I do, um, I will have either club soda or water, and I will literally like a sip of this, a sip of that. Or sometimes I would just keep the water nearby me and be like, oh, it's there, I'll drink it eventually. But I'm trying to do like a one-for-one sip. I also try to get um, if it's during the week, something that's a little lighter in alcohol and keep adding ice to it, you know, just to try to help you with that. Um drink, you know, just drinking slower. I have used uh no bad days. I don't know if you ever heard of that.

SPEAKER_01

I have not, but it sounds really good.

SPEAKER_00

They're capsules, I'm pretty sure they have glutathione in it and I've a couple other things, but it did help with my recovery and my sleep. Um I also try to stop drinking two hours before bedtime.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, that's smart.

SPEAKER_00

Because my whoop knows I don't even have to tell it that I've been drinking because it asks you the next day. So yeah, it doesn't ask you that day before you went to bed, so it's not like it's using the information that I put in. It asks the next day, what did you do yesterday? So, but I know that my HRV, which is my heart rate variability, the distance between heartbeats, that number is much lower on nights that I drink. And my resting heart rate is higher. Oh, and I see, and it's a little scary. I'm like, yeah, that's my heart that's being messed up from alcohol.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

So I uh I tr I I try to not put too much weight on it, like be like, come on, relax. You had two drinks. Um, but at the same time, I gotta make sure that's not happening, you know?

SPEAKER_01

Yes, and I know we've talked about this before, but I think once perimetopause, now menopause, alcohol has a totally different effect on me. Like sleeping, recovery, how I feel. Oh, my recovery, always a couple days, yes.

SPEAKER_00

And I only know because my whoop tells me, but that's again putting putting everything in my life in the hands of a device.

SPEAKER_01

But no, but even like the same thing, like I got the puffy eyes, like everything, it just impacts, I feel like everything.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. No, I don't I don't disagree with you at all.

SPEAKER_01

But I um I wouldn't say yes for the healthy eating, although I just admitted to having ice cream for dinner. But um, I I have taken your drink advice. I was always normally, as you know, like a vodka tonic, gin and tonic was always my summer drink, and the tonic has a lot of sugar in it. Yeah um so I have switched to your suggestion, which was really good, um, and that's become my my summer drink, has been club soda, some coconut rum, and that that rumhaven.

SPEAKER_00

The rumhaven is the best.

SPEAKER_01

And then I've done with a lime. With yeah, like a few limes. Yeah. And I feel like if I do like a muddled mint with that, it would be like a skinny girl mojito. Right. Which I love. And I think without that mint, it tastes like a margarita to me. It does.

SPEAKER_00

You know?

SPEAKER_01

It's really it's like a nice, refreshing, tropical drink. And then I'm like you, I'll try and then do a club soda.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Like in between, or drink water just to kind of I because I feel like it's probably the sugar in the alcohol that maybe is affecting the sleep and see, and I haven't gotten that lately, and so now I'm going to Lascala's tonight.

SPEAKER_00

Okay. It's Tuesday night. I'm going to Lascala's, and I'm like, oh, I'm gonna get that tonight.

SPEAKER_01

Like, oh, what am I gonna have to drink on my Tuesday night?

SPEAKER_00

Oh my gosh. So, uh, yeah, there's a band there tonight. Oh, who's that who's playing? Well, Alex is it's so funny. My sister is here and she's gonna go with me. Someone that she knows knows this band, particularly, and the I guess the lead singer, she knows her. And our friend Alex, Eastman from the gym. Yeah, he's often playing around the island and stuff, and he's joining them tonight.

SPEAKER_02

Oh.

SPEAKER_00

So I was gonna ask her anyway, like, hey, I want to go. My friend Alex is in this, and she asked me because her friend plans on going. So I may have to I may have to have along. Yeah. I'm not gonna be too late because I have to teach tomorrow morning. And I have to pack for Alaska. So I can't I can't get thrown off my routine. Yeah. Right, six o'clock it starts, I'm out by 7 30. Okay.

SPEAKER_01

And maybe it might just be, I might just, since what we're talking about, maybe it might just be a club soda in lime night. It could be. Yes. I don't know. We'll see. But again, I'm not gonna stress about it because if I'm spending time listening to live music with friends and enjoying this on the beach, on this beautiful weather, I I can't beat myself up. Before I beat myself up for too many years, I'm not doing it.

SPEAKER_00

You're leaving a good time.

SPEAKER_01

I know, I heard it's supposed to get really hot.

SPEAKER_00

It's supposed to be 96 here on Wednesday and Thursday.

SPEAKER_01

Wow.

SPEAKER_00

99 or Thursday. I don't know. Something crazy. My hydrangeas are gonna finish frying. I know. It's very sad.

SPEAKER_01

But I feel at least with respect to like a fitness routine, when I'm in Alaska, we're gonna be doing a lot of hiking.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Like kayaking. So I feel like that is gonna make up for maybe I'm not gonna be at the gym, obviously, but it's gonna be more of an adventure, outdoorsy type of.

SPEAKER_00

I think it's less drinking too, because you're with the dog, you know. So I also want my friends. You're with Kelly. Yeah, you're with Kelly. Where's that?

SPEAKER_01

So she always the same thing. She likes to enjoy um a good happy hour, especially after a good day of hiking.

SPEAKER_00

So well, I don't blame her. No. So it's good. It just tastes good. So, all right. Should we move on? Should we go on to what did I learn before I forget?

SPEAKER_01

Yes. Go for it. Um, one thing I wanted to say about Dr. Christy Beyer was I was so impressed, or you kind of feel validated that here you have someone, she's a menopause specialist and in that stage of life, but she believes in supplements.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

In her life. And the ones that she takes, I was like, oh, I feel really good about that.

SPEAKER_00

That that I I do want that, oh, that one that she missed in the cortisol one that's the cortisol one and the sugar one, the one for the glucose. I I I even took a picture of it, of the word when I was doing editing in the transcript. I'm like, oh, I need to order that.

SPEAKER_01

But I thought that was really good because it wasn't dismissed, like, oh, this is nonsense.

SPEAKER_00

No, and she really was dismissed though by her doctor. And that was shocking.

SPEAKER_01

Yes, and that you almost feel validated. Like, yeah, there a doctor is dismissing another doctor about hormone replacement therapy. About her own body. And when she said, Do you know what I do for a living? So if they're gonna easily dismiss her, then you almost feel like, oh, well, you have no idea what you're talking about, yeah, Miss Non-medical person. Just do as I say. So I thought that was really good. But that is not necessarily that was one of the things I learned before I forget. But I saw something which I thought was just a beautiful metaphor about mothers of grown children. Okay. So I wanted to share that. It's gonna make me cry. Probably, yes. I'm sorry. Okay, but it was beautiful, and it I feel like it puts everything in perspective and almost maybe it will make you cry just more tears of joy. Because we are now lighthouses for our children. When they were little, we start out in the same boat, and the children are in our boat, and we're we're keeping them safe, and we're taking care of all their needs and managing their schedules, and we're steering the boat. And we're teaching them, we're steering the boat. We're like what we want to teach them and how we want to like guide them and protect them. Now that they're grown, they're steering their own boat, they're in their own boats, and they're navigating their lives, but we're their lighthouse. Like, we're their lighthouse. We're still looking out for them, right? And we're still looking for those boats and watching those boats and letting them know if they're in danger or if they need us, they can look to that lighthouse and we can still be their guide. I love that. Um it's not gonna make me cry. I I just thought it was a makes me cry. I just thought it was a beautiful metaphor, and it in there they talked about sometimes you're allowed back in their boat, which I was like, oh yeah, versus like them pushing you out of the boat.

SPEAKER_00

You're hanging on the edge.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, yeah, like put me back in the boat. Um some could because they'll share parts of their life with you, but for the most part, you're that beacon that's that they know that if they need you to look at that lighthouse when you're there. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And I just thought that was I really like that, and it actually makes me feel better. Yes, and not lowly. It makes me feel like that's a purpose. That's yes, that is a job.

SPEAKER_01

So there are gonna be times very valued jobs.

SPEAKER_00

I know.

SPEAKER_01

There are gonna be time. Yes, a lighthouse is important. Right. And there are gonna be times that that boats just travel in the ocean, but maybe this maybe there's storms come and the life gets a little rocky and they know that the lighthouse is there.

SPEAKER_00

Or let us in on the happy stuff. Let us come on your boat to enjoy something wonderful.

SPEAKER_01

I don't always let us do Sunday Monday on our kids' boats. Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, yeah. That makes more sense.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, but I just I I like that. It just was a comforting way to view mothers of older children.

SPEAKER_00

I think it's a really good idea. Yeah, it's a good perception.

SPEAKER_01

And when we were on the beach on Sunday and you saw it was so cute, our friend Amanda, her little boy, it was his fifth birthday, and they had this awesome party on the beach, and you saw all those young moms and those little kids, and you were like watching them, so they're still in the boats.

SPEAKER_00

They are still the boats, and we were just lying. We were the lighthouses just watching the and we were just sitting there completely relaxed, and they're sweating, and there's kids crying, and then there are couple screaming, and then there were a couple chasing each other with shovels. Yeah, I was like, Oh, you guys are having a good time. I did offer to I know I'll switch spots with you for half hour if you want it. Nobody took me up. Let us hold the babies. Yeah, it was cute. So, all right, what I learned, I thought this was very interesting. Um, so in the current women-working climate, it is now considered selfish if you, as an employee, expect your employer or other supervisors to recognize your accomplishments and praise you for it, and putting that 100% on them. Like that is now like not the thing to do. You can't wait around for other people to give you your praise. You should, because then it's putting 100% responsibility on them, like they've got their own shit, and now you want to be you know, pat on the back for the shit that you've done. Yes. What it was saying is that you know, you need to just say to keep you in the loop. I have done X, Y, and Z. This is how I'm monitoring it, this is the result I expect, and I just wanted to let you know what are your thoughts, and that way you took it on your upon yourself to um communicate what you've done in a professional manner, and now they can see it because you've highlighted it. Yes, and they feel they feel good about it, and then they might say, Great, thank you. That's right. But if you sit back quietly, patiently waiting, like what we were always told to do, just be patient, you'll be recognized. And I'm not saying be loud and obnoxious because we've all worked with that person that was like, look at me, look at me. Yes, and it usually comes and bites them on the ass in the end. Yes, and usually had to wait for it. But now it's saying, you know, don't don't do either one of those things. Don't wait, don't be the loudmouth. Just if you've done something, respect yourself and respect other people's time, communicate it, and you know, it it's your accolade, it doesn't have to be recognized by everybody. No, that's really good.

SPEAKER_01

So I thought that was true because it still allows you to have humility, like prof and professionalism. I know my company, what they want you to do, um, is you know, you have goals in there that you have for the year and you're supposed to do a check-in. But you are supposed to document your accomplishments through the year so you don't forget about what happened, what you did in February, that you're like, wow, this is really good, to put that in there. So, one, it's in writing, two, it's like it becomes like official, right? Um, your manager has to see it and and it's a on it's a record, right? Um, and then it can be acknowledged, and it can be reviewed, and you can go back to it.

SPEAKER_00

Correct.

SPEAKER_01

And then when you do have like that discussion, that one-on-one discussion, you can highlight those things because they're already written down. Right. And so that is a really good idea.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, so it's considered selfish if you are waiting for other people to acknowledge your accomplishments at work.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, and you're probably really missing out on doing that. Because again, everybody is so busy, you're kind of running at um kind of short staff. Everybody seems Staff. Correct. Yeah. So I feel like that's probably the best way. Versus, like you said in the past, where you always had that person that was the big brown noser. Yes. Like, hey, you know. Um. I feel like that really should be frowned upon.

SPEAKER_00

Well, it should be, and sitting back patiently waiting is only gonna frustrate you.

SPEAKER_01

A hundred percent.

SPEAKER_00

You know. I've been like I definitely know it does because I have been the person. Sat patiently waiting.

SPEAKER_01

Yes.

SPEAKER_00

And it yeah, it bites you in the butt.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, or they'll just be like, hey, she's just gonna keep doing it. Just let her go and Right. Mm-hmm. So and you're gonna just keep doing more and more and more waiting, and at the same time, you're just gonna frustrate yourself, stress yourself out. Right.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, I like that. I don't know. This I I say it all the time. This younger generation is so good at communicating.

SPEAKER_01

Yes.

SPEAKER_00

But I feel like they're annoying at some times too.

SPEAKER_01

Correct. But I feel like it's because we as parents we communicated a lot with them. Yeah. We had like open dialogues, and we and again, we encouraged them to talk about their feelings. They talked about their feelings, they shared a lot. I know.

SPEAKER_00

It's interesting to see what we changed based on what we experienced.

SPEAKER_01

Yes.

SPEAKER_00

And then we changed the way we parented, and then we see the product, and now that they're adults, they're taking what they learned or didn't learn from us and making changes in it. It's just it's such a to me, that is a very interesting and fascinating thing to kind of study to try to be like what were the customs, the you know, the traditions, what was the parenting norms and how they've evolved. A hundred percent. We should be able to do that. I've just everybody just turned this off. I know, but we should I feel like that should be an episode. I think it could be. I I think we did something similar at one point in time. Just talking about the different generations. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Because there was something, yeah, somebody had sent me. Um, like the G, you know, our Gen X, our our parents, it was like they were Home Depot parents where you go and you need a drill and you need help, but there's nobody around, so just like do it on your own. There's like no, there's nobody in the store. Right. And you're like, just go ahead. And yeah, like brush it off. Yeah. Yeah. You're bleeding, it's fine. Right. Not sucking up buttercup. Yes. Yes. Alright, well, that's what I learned. That's good. I like that. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

I share it in. I share it with it.

SPEAKER_02

Thank you.

SPEAKER_00

Alright, so what just pisses you off? Alright, so listen, I have nothing that pisses me off, but I had two funny stories I had to tell you. Okay. Alright, so the first one is I've been waiting to tell you this for like two weeks, and I just hope it's still funny. It will be. Okay. So Aaron and Zach were supposed to go to a wedding on July 3rd. We're not supposed to. They were asked to go to a wedding. Okay. And they replied no. They come here every 4th of July. Like they were coming to New Jersey from Massachusetts. They had a plan. The plan was the reason they couldn't go to the wedding was because they were coming to New Jersey. Well, Zach was talking to his co-worker because that's who invited him to the wedding. And he said, Hey, you know, I see you can't come to the wedding. Why can't you make the wedding? He said, Oh, yeah, my girlfriend, fiance now, has a doctor's appointment. Like, she's had it for a year. It's she's got to go to the gynecologist. So Zach? Yes. Aaron, if you listen to this, Chris's face is like an absolute shock. That was our first thing. Was like, did he really do that? He really put that. He gave you the excuse because you had to go to the gynecologist. And then we teased him about it all. On the holiday weekend. On the holiday weekend, like, oh wait, Aaron can't we can't go out. Aaron's got to go to the gynecologist.

SPEAKER_01

But it would have wouldn't have just been like, well, we already had plans, yes, and we were going away and out of town.

SPEAKER_00

But he didn't want him to ask any further questions. And I said, Well, you accomplished that.

SPEAKER_02

It really got, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

He did get what he accomplished. But we all know that Zach is the absolute sweetest guy in the world. Yes.

SPEAKER_01

I would not, but I can't picture Zach. He didn't throw Erin under the bus, but he kind of threw under the bus by saying that she's to go to the gynecologist. But I what was he preparing? Was it that's like a story that he had pre prepared in his brain?

SPEAKER_00

Or just I didn't ask that many questions, but feel free. We'll be back again. You can ask him.

SPEAKER_01

Be ready, Zach.

SPEAKER_00

Be ready for the question. Oh my god, it's so funny.

SPEAKER_01

It's funny. Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_00

All right, we're gonna handle it well. So, okay, so when we were talking about like, you know, drinking, okay, drinking and menopause don't go together well for memory. So as I tell you this story, I have no idea where I heard it. Okay. I just remember hearing it very vividly. I don't know if it was a podcast, I don't know if it was a person. I tried so hard to remember. I can't. Okay. But uh this husband was eating food, whatever, had habanero or peppers, ate them with his hands. Whatever they were doing. Whatever goes into the bathroom, does not wash his hands before he goes to the bathroom. And he has to pee. So he has to handle what he has to handle. Later on that night, he and his wife are home, and she he had not cleaned himself off. So all of a sudden she starts yelling, hot pussy, hot pussy. No way, no way. Yes. And they realize that he didn't wash his hands after touching his penis of like with habanero sauce, like habanero something, peppers. She's like, get ice cubes, get ice cubes. So they're using ice cubes, and it's not working. She's yelling, get popsicles. Oh my god. I don't know what hurt, but I was dying laughing, listen to the city.

SPEAKER_01

Oh my god, that's hysterical.

SPEAKER_00

But the popsicles didn't. I have to ask. Even initially, it didn't burn him. On his hands, I guess. Oh yeah. I guess not. I guess not. So I guess, you know, it was only an internal burn and not an external burn. You know, I guess it didn't burn his skin. But anyway, the once she said get popsicles, get pop in. Oh my god. No, but the hot pussy, hot pussy. Oh my god. So I'm sure she was pissed off, but I was not. I thought there was a hilarious.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, that's a good story. That's a really good story. I wish I could remember where I heard it.

unknown

Oh.

SPEAKER_00

But again, but it wasn't like somebody knew, was it? I I don't think so. Okay. I I do think it was a podcast, but then part of me is like, wait. I felt like I I don't listen. Okay. I don't think so. That's a good one. Okay.

SPEAKER_01

So I I have so many questions about that too. Okay, well, I don't have the answers. So I have, thank you for making me laugh, because I have a this just pisses me off.

SPEAKER_00

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

And you know this because we were in the same group. I what pisses me off, and I'm gonna call it the thousand question Karen situation. Um if you are in a group or you're trying to learn that in this case, you know, you're trying to learn something. Um there was like an instructor and they're they're talking very specifically. This was at golf. Okay.

SPEAKER_00

Um I got her to do golf lessons.

SPEAKER_01

I know, and we're doing, and this was like a woman's clinic. So I am brand new to the sport. Doing great, by the way. And I'm thank you. And I'm really trying to I was really trying to pay attention. You are putting 150% into it. The person that was standing next to me, and I've had this happen in other situations, but this was high was making like comments under her breath, comments like kind of loud enough that I could definitely hear it. Right to the point where it was distracting, so I really couldn't hear or focus on what the instructor was saying.

SPEAKER_00

Well, and he never shut the fuck up, so he did it. That was really hard. But I was trying, really trying to learn.

SPEAKER_01

I was trying to pay attention, so to listen, to try and listen to him and then have And block her out. And block her out. And then she was just while he was talking, she was just then yelling random thoughts and questions out to him. Yes. Um, so it she kind of hijacked Yeah, she did kind of hijack the lessons.

SPEAKER_00

I would I I agree. And I could, if I wanted to use something to piss me off, it would have been the let's uh talk for 45 minutes of instruction and then putt for 15 minutes. Yeah. I don't need 45 seconds 45 minutes of you telling me how to putt.

SPEAKER_01

No.

SPEAKER_00

I mean, maybe drive, maybe the iron, sure, but not fucking putting.

SPEAKER_01

And but even then, even I think most of it is you're gonna learn by doing and have them then make the adjustments and see like where everything would be, not by listening, because it it still didn't.

SPEAKER_00

No, because you're like you can't tell somebody, like just teaching, coaching, you give two corrections or two main things to think about, and don't give more than that because they people are not gonna remember.

SPEAKER_01

Correct.

SPEAKER_00

And then you have to figure out how to apply them after they've mastered those two things, then add something. But it was like, do this, do this, don't do this, don't do this, do this, like telling us five things to do, two things not to do. Now we have 20 things to now remember. It was just bad teaching.

SPEAKER_01

And then the and then the entire time. And then she is like adding her own commentary, adding questions, adding sarcasm, sarcasm, and mumbling under a breath. So it was a complete and utter shit show. And it would have been, and she just made the she just made it worse to the point where I know I moved over like around you, and then she came by you like the next time. But it was the same thing every week, and I wanted to be like, please stop. Like other people are trying to learn. We really I was like, I'm trying to take this seriously. Yes, I'm with my friends, and it's yes, and we're outside and it's beautiful, but I'm really trying to learn.

SPEAKER_00

Yes, and then she had the instance where the golfers it when you're on the golf course, sometimes you get hecklers from houses, and especially in this area where people are renting, and two girls were being heckled, and she came by and started cursing the mail. And they're like, please stop, please like go away, and then she just kept cursing the whole I'm like, yeah. Ironically, her name was not Karen, though, was it or wasn't it?

SPEAKER_01

It was.

SPEAKER_00

It was Karen, right? Wait, I'm like me.

SPEAKER_01

So she really was it was an aphlete name, thousand question Karen. Yeah. But it but I think other situations, not just that one, but that just brought it all back when you're when you're trying to listen to someone giving instructions and there's someone in the group, you know, just thinking to say something to say and is distracting from everybody else. So yeah. I get it.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I mean it pissed me off too. I forgot about it. Yeah, I thought I had to share my phone. I was dying to tell you the Eren story.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, the Erin story is very funny.

SPEAKER_00

Especially because it just doesn't seem like Zach. No. No. I'm sorry, Zach.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

I'm sorry to his parents that had to listen to us just tease him. Um, okay, so what's your letter to your younger self? Um, my letter to my younger self is I was listening to herself podcast uh just on a reel.

SPEAKER_01

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

And they really, and I even tagged you in it, I think. I said it to you.

SPEAKER_01

Yes, because I commented as well.

SPEAKER_00

Are so good at putting things into words, and I have mentioned this before. Like back in our 40s, or even our you know, like the mid-30s, when the kids are in high gear, um, you're you're losing your shit a lot. Like, and you don't know that it's your hormones are also correct what you are losing, and it's why you're losing your shit. You are anxious, you are snappy, um you're not being yourself. So, my lung, my letter to my younger self would be if I knew about perimenopause, is talk to my family. Hey, this is why this doesn't have to do with you. I am snappy because these changes are happening to my body, and I'm having a really hard time dealing with it, but you could support me this way.

SPEAKER_01

That's really good.

SPEAKER_00

So giving your family tips on how to support you when they see that you're going through one of these movements, I think is what a good letter would be.

SPEAKER_01

That's really good. Thanks. And I love it. I was I was right there with you. Yeah. Um, because I almost feel like I want to go and explain it to them now. Right. Um, if especially if they they don't listen. Like, look, I was trying to handle too much. Right. Um, without sleep. The mental load is significant and you don't know it. I was trying to manage, yeah, like manage a stressful job and manage, like I always said, like, you're like the CFO, the CEO, the chief like inventory officer, right? Like you're the chief people leader, like you're handling everything, scheduling, logistics. Um, and it is like you're a mental overload, and then you're not sleeping and with crazy, yeah, brain fog, right, and the symptoms. And again, we talked about this um a few episodes ago, and the anxiety that comes with the loss of hormones to be like, look, there was really something physically going on that was happening, right? Um, and that it which impacted us being healthy and us being like fully mentally present.

SPEAKER_00

And you know what's not helpful when someone says, What can I do? How can how can I help? How can I take off they don't realize, think they're being super nice, is now I have to think in my brain what I can I have to go through this hundred-page column, like or a hundred-page list, and try to figure out what I can give you. You need to see what needs to be done. Yes, you need to know there's a birthday party and there's a gift that has to be bought in the next three days. How about you say, I'm gonna go out and get that birthday present gift? Or birthday present gift. What the fuck is wrong with me? Oh, I see that for you then. I was like, yeah. Or a birthday gift. It doesn't have to be both. I get it.

SPEAKER_01

Menopause. And again, there I know there was a family calendar. Like, yes, I would be like, really? Like, go look at the fucking calendar. Right.

SPEAKER_00

Like, look at it. Don't ask me what we're doing. Or don't ask me what the fucking weather is. Look at it yourself. Don't give me another to do.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, teacher names, right? What the schedule is, who has practice. If you see me emptying in the dishwasher, you shouldn't have been sitting there watching TV. You should have like emptied the dishwasher.

SPEAKER_00

Right, while I'm trying to cook dinner. Yes. Yes.

SPEAKER_01

And balance it all. But the same thing, I you were. You're in like complete mental physical overload with all a loss of hormones. And it was a it's a recipe for disaster.

SPEAKER_00

Right, it is. And it's so unfair. Well, there's so many things that are so unfair. One, you didn't know was happening. Two, there aren't doctors or the NIH anybody investigating that this is happening, or give a crap. Yes. You know, they're too busy making Viagra. Yes. So like nobody cares and nobody understands. So you're literally, you're all you got. Yes. So yeah. Well, we went down a rabbit hole there. We did.

SPEAKER_01

But it's it's a good one.

SPEAKER_00

It's it's it's our life.

SPEAKER_01

And I feel like my letter, I feel like I want to send that letter to myself now because I feel like, you know, having that conversation with my kids, like, if you thought I was a psycho, I'm really sorry, but this is what was happening. Right. Um, and I yeah, but I think my letter would be like what we just talked about in terms of routine. Okay. To not let the change in routine or the loss of routine impact my ability to enjoy those moments in life or that the people that I'm with and sacrifice memories just to stay on my schedule.

SPEAKER_00

And I I think that was probably very hard for you to like like get that because you were always so like with your job. Correct. Like, and like that just you had to be that way to keep yourself safe. You had to follow X, Y, Z for many reasons. So that's how your life was. So then to just be able to like it's let go, it's probably I know it's very big.

SPEAKER_01

Yes, it is.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I get it. So that's a good level.

SPEAKER_01

And it really does help. And it's the truth. It is, and it helped it just really helps mentally. Like we've talked about this before, to just be present and enjoy what's happening.

SPEAKER_00

Yes, it is, it's good to do that, and sometimes it's it's hard to be like, oh no, I want to enjoy this, but I'm thinking of all the to-do lists that we have to do, and uh missing out. Yes, yeah, so it's good. Okay, I like that. So, what about um 50 shades?

SPEAKER_01

So, 50 shades this week. I was um thinking about recipes, so this would be nutrition.

SPEAKER_00

Okay, good. So it's a different time talking about.

SPEAKER_01

Um so this is a shout out to our girl Sue. Hey Sue. Friend Sue. And she was saying her new favorite appetizer, and she we all got to have dinner together on Saturday night, which was so nice, all of us together. Thank you again. Um no, it was just it was wonderful, and I just love when we're all together. And but Sue brought this, and it was hummus on the bottom, and then she added chopped cucumbers. I think it was chopped olives, some red onion, feta. But you could do like tomatoes. You could do tomato, yeah, the tomatoes, and then she drizzled some olive oil on top. I'm not sure if she did salt and pepper.

SPEAKER_00

I don't I taste a little salt, I think.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Um, and then she served it with triscits, but you could do pita chips, you could do, I feel like it was delicious. Right, it was so good, and she said it's so easy and it's so healthy and something that everybody so I was thinking about that with our balance and routine, and you could still enjoy like something it's that's a good one to do, like when you come back from the beach and you're starving.

SPEAKER_00

Yes, and you just have something like that, it's enough to fill you up.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, and you could have it made ahead of time because it would be really good with all the flavors like all together. So it was really good. And then what you made, but that was not you could tell that was not easy though. My sister. But that was not easy to put together. It was absolutely beautiful.

SPEAKER_00

Okay, so I'll let me tell you what she did.

SPEAKER_01

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

We defrosted some salmon.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_00

Cut it up, put it in the air. Well, first then we uh did six pepper seasoning and uh just like avocado spray. I think uh yeah, it was just the avocado spray. Stirred it up, put it in the air fryer seven minutes, and then just cut up the avocado and the tomatoes and put it on the same plate.

SPEAKER_01

It was gorgeous.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. And it I mean, and it was delicious. Right, and all we did was it was just air fried salmon.

SPEAKER_01

Oh.

SPEAKER_00

But six pepper seasoning is one of the best seasonings. I don't know if you know where just I love it. I think I ordered that one on Amazon because I couldn't find it in the stores.

SPEAKER_01

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

But six pepper, I put it on pizza.

SPEAKER_01

Oh.

SPEAKER_00

I love it.

SPEAKER_01

I put it on my eggs. Because I love that um I get it from Trader Joe's. It's like the all-season salute or the it might be similar.

SPEAKER_00

This is just different, six different kinds of pepper. Okay. That and everything but the bagel seasoning my favorite, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Okay. So yeah, that but that looked just way more complicated than Oh no.

SPEAKER_00

Okay. Oh look, there's another I know, I know, no. Easy. Yeah, could do it with chicken, could do it with anything, really. It was beautiful. Yes.

SPEAKER_01

But yeah, just because it was all yeah, layered, it was really nice.

SPEAKER_00

It was she she did do a nice presentation. I got to do, like, I got to see it and then I got to finish it. Yeah. So she started and then I did the rest of the um how about you? Well, before I go on to my 50 shades, I forgot to tell you that when Erin and Zach were here, Erin and I went and bought like a nice tuna steak, and we made a nice tuna stack with like fresh mango and avocado.

SPEAKER_01

Um, when you did the ring and everything, too.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I just cut a cup. Yeah, it was so good. It was delicious. Oh, that was that's where it felt really good. Anyway, oh, so my 50 shades. My 50 shades, I'm gonna go back over to the K18. Okay. So I told Rex, our hairdresser she was on, one of our episodes, lovely girl. Yes. And I was telling her about the K-18, asked her what she thought, and she said, I told her we're only using it for special occasions. She goes, You're not really gonna get your bang for your buck. She goes, if you're gonna spend all that money and you want to to really help you, you gotta use it once a week. Okay. She said, once a week, and I didn't ask her about the pumps initially, but then I texted her. She said, like three pumps.

SPEAKER_01

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

Um, she said for my hair, three pumps. So I usually use four to five. And your hair is shorter than mine, isn't it? But you have thicker hair. So, whatever. Um, but I do it adds protein to your hair.

SPEAKER_02

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

And you don't want to add too much protein, and you don't want to do it sporadically. So she said, do that once a week. Yes. And um when Aaron was visiting, we did microneedling, and I did the microneedling with uh the PRDN? I don't know, with the salmon sperm. Oh, okay. Yeah, PDRN. That's the salmon sperm. Okay. Um, and I had two people say that my face looked tighter.

SPEAKER_01

I mean your skin's beautiful.

SPEAKER_00

Anyway, so microneedling, uh, and it's a pack of three, so.

SPEAKER_01

Okay. Yeah, that's what I did. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

I I do micro.

SPEAKER_01

I like the microneedling.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. It does work. I'm still using that. So on Tuesdays is when I do my red light therapy that I have. Okay. Uh that little light. Yeah, that little light that I have. So I don't know if it's helping. But I think it's beautiful. I mean thank you. I don't think it's getting worse faster. You know, I don't feel like yeah. So maybe um Staying the same, I'm not progressing as quickly as I think I would. Okay. That's what I got.

SPEAKER_01

Right. I like it. I will have to now incorporate the K-18.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

It is hard because it's expensive.

SPEAKER_00

It is expensive. It is expensive. It is expensive. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

But but maybe especially now with the summer and your hair, at least my hair, really takes a beating with the sun and the sweat and everything going on.

SPEAKER_00

I probably need it would be a good idea to and I like doing it like right before the weekend or right at the weekend. So that way I have that leave-in for going in the sun.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Yeah, because I always try and spray. Yeah, you I spray the leave-in when I'm on before I go on and pull my hair back.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. And they because my hairdresser was saying that make sure you have like a water and a leave-in. Because if you are going to go into your hair, uh into your hair. If you are going to go into the water with your hair to have something like on it before the water hits it to help the protect the keratin treatment.

SPEAKER_00

Oh yeah. Yeah. That's right.

SPEAKER_01

So that's why I always do that purology, the 21, the leave-in conditioner.

SPEAKER_00

And that sunscreen that I ordered is called Freak of Nature.

SPEAKER_02

Oh.

SPEAKER_00

But I didn't get it yet. Okay. And then what was the kind that Sue had? Because my sister had it too. I feel like it was called Finish, but Oh, I don't know. But that was like a spray mineral.

SPEAKER_01

It was different than the SVR, though.

SPEAKER_00

Yes, it was differ different than the. And I still want to get the SVR too. Yes.

SPEAKER_01

I like the SVR.

SPEAKER_00

I know. But I what I liked about the one that uh Sue had was it was no chemicals. Or not not the bad chemicals. The benzo, whatever was in it that we talked about last year. Okay. That I'd have to look at look at it again to give you the exact answer. I know. So that's I think I think that's that's it. I know.

SPEAKER_01

We've wrapped up our after weeks of guests. I'm back to glad we got my fierce female friend. I know.

SPEAKER_00

It was so nice to be able to sit and chat with you. And love our guests. Yeah, everybody.

SPEAKER_01

Oh my god. And I so appreciative. And they were all so different, and you just learn so much. Like after it finishes, I'm always like, wow. Yes. I can't believe how much I learned. Yes. Especially last week. And you just I always love like talking to and being around other like badass women.

SPEAKER_00

And yeah, that are that understand and have been through similar situations or the exact same situation. And they felt seen and heard and so do we. Yes.

SPEAKER_01

So I like it. It's it's part of like growing our village. Exactly. And to grow our village, we have to thank all of our listeners. Yes, we do. Who are in our special village, all our girlfriends out there, um, and male friends. So our male friends are. That's right, we have I know. Thank you. Yeah, I know. And Brian. Yeah. Um, but we also want to thank our affiliates, yes, um, underoutfit.com, of which Betsy has um, she ordered, she was telling us she ordered the bra and the sports bra, but she also ordered the underwear, and she says the underwear is really good, doesn't move, you don't feel like you have anything on. So I feel like now I'm gonna go back and have to try the underwear.

SPEAKER_00

I might have to try it. Oh, and then Chris Trillio. Now every time we see each other we're flashing our bras on each other. But she loves them too.

SPEAKER_01

Yes. And oh, um, who was our friend, um, our one of our guests after we did that our affiliate, she said that's the only bra she wears. Is was it Kim? Was it I I think it was Kim. It's Kim Costa. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

Um and she said they're great, because she's a big golfer. She said they were awesome for golf.

SPEAKER_00

Yes.

SPEAKER_01

And um, so we were talking about that, and we were talking with about Deanne with the So yeah, she loves um under outfits. So community is growing. So go into our show notes and get the link in the show notes um for our affiliate there. And our other affiliate is Hello Nancy. Yes. And they're all it's also very good. We can grow that community as well. Yeah. And our merch. Forgot to. Yes, and our merch. Thank you.

SPEAKER_00

And then please continue to download each episode. Uh, love, share, share, share. The summer is really kind of rough for podcasts. So the more people that share it, Middle, share this with your 30,000 a week patients. We would love that. Um, follow us on TikTok, Instagram, and YouTube. And until next week, from Alaska. We're gonna do it. We're gonna we're gonna try, guys. We're gonna try to do this from Alaska. Yeah. So we'll continue to seek answers for women's health care and support one another. See you guys. Thank you.