Mental Firepower Monday: July 21, 2025

Let’s get real: it’s not always the dramatic call that wrecks you, it’s the slow drip of cumulative trauma. The shift fatigue. The emotional load you bring home but never unpack.

This week’s Mental Firepower Monday is about interrupting that pattern and starting your week with clarity. Erin walks you through a simple but powerful practice to help first responders release what they’re carrying and reset the nervous system before it hijacks everything else.

If you’re feeling mentally overloaded, snappy, numb, or distant, this episode is your 5-minute invitation to pause, reset, and breathe.

MENTAL FIREPOWER:

The 5-Minute Debrief + 4-7-8 Reset

1. Ask: What am I carrying right now that’s not mine to hold?
2. Let it go: Write it, burn it, trash it—just don’t stuff it.
3. Breathe it out: Inhale 4 / Hold 7 / Exhale 8 — repeat x5

This is first responder stress management in its simplest form. A tactical way to process the emotional debris before it turns into burnout, detachment, or outbursts at home.

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

• Cumulative trauma is real and often quiet
• Vicarious trauma affects your family even when you’re silent
• You can protect your mental health without oversharing the trauma
• Reentry rituals (like “Who do you need me to be tonight?”) build emotional safety at home
• Start your morning with nervous system regulation not just caffeine and chaos

👥 WHO THIS IS FOR:

• First responders who stopped talking at home a long time ago
• Spouses who want to be part of the solution, not the shutdown
• Peer supporters looking for actionable mindset tools
• Anyone trying to lead while carrying too much behind the scenes

🎧 RESOURCE SPOTLIGHT:

Looking for other voices in this space? Check out:

• Operation Yellow Tape – Kenny Mitchell
• Tell This Story – Doug White
• Blue Grit Radio – Eric Tung

These are leaders speaking into real recovery, post-traumatic growth, and what comes after survival.

COMING THURSDAY:

Erin sits down with AK Dozanti, bestselling author of Beat the Burnout, to talk about adrenal fatigue, emotional crash landings, and how burnout shows up in your relationship, even when you're trying to hide it.

CALL TO ACTION:

Rate the show. Review it. Share it with your crew or your spouse.
Because this isn’t just about the job. It’s about staying human in the middle of it.

Music from #Uppbeat

https://uppbeat.io/t/needmospace/chill-power

License code: QUUZB4TP7STKMLJN

Transcript

Mental Firepower Monday 7/21

Erin: [00:00:00] Hey you. It's Monday again. So let's start this week with intention, not inertia, and this is your Monday Mental Firepower. Check-in for July 21st and last week's episode hit on quite. A killer here, I guess we could call it, and it's the slow drip of the hundreds of shifts that actually got you not the big elaborate traumatic events.

It's the accumulation of all of those little shifts that pile on and pile on and pile on that end up eventually taking us out. Now, of course, the other ones do too. The biggies.

But yeah, so it's not always the bad call. It's not always that dramatic stuff. It is. It can be that subtle stuff that is the most insidious, the part that really sneaks in the part, ~that question ~that has us questioning that ourselves. And how we're living.

And so this week's mental [00:01:00] firepower was really about checking in. It was really about connecting with yourself, really about questioning, what am I holding onto? What am I carrying right now that isn't mine to carry? And that's what it was to give yourself that five minutes to get some privacy, have a seat, do a few little deep breathing exercises, the one that I suggested was called 4 7 8 breathing.

And just get in touch with what are you holding onto that's not yours to hold onto. And what I mean by that is really checking in with, okay, I had that one run. I had that argument with my significant other, or I drop the kids off at school angry, whatever the thing is, checking in and saying, what am I believing about that event?

That I am taking ownership of it. That's really what this is about because there is very, very little that we have control over, but what we do have control over is what we do with this events that happen in our lives with the [00:02:00] stories that we tell ourselves. And that's the key factor here. If you're holding on to someone else's horrible day, it's your opportunity to say, you know what?

This is not mine. It is one small baby step into doing something different for yourself. And I know it seems seemingly insignificant, but if this is a practice that you get into over and over and over again, and you really are committed to it, then it can make a big difference in your life through time, through accumulation, just like the stress does.

the other piece, as I mentioned, is a 4 7, 8 breathing. And really it's very similar to box breathing or many other breathing exercises. But what you're gonna do is simply breathe in for four, hold it for seven, and slowly trust that your lungs are going to empty for count of eight. I would invite you to repeat that five times.

But here's the trick. Not only doing that when you are up against a stressful experience or you need to reset, but also doing it as more of a morning routine, [00:03:00] beginning to make it part of your day to day so that when those stressful experiences happen, you're not actively having to choose it.

You are ready. It is just part of your day, you know? Oh. Hard thing. I'm gonna shift. I'm gonna go ahead and do some 4, 7, 8 breathing and reset my nervous system. Activate that vagus nerve, tap into that parasympathetic nervous system. Get yourself outta that fight or flight. That's key. So get yourself into some kind of routine where you're adding that as part of your day.

You know, I'm gonna go off a little bit. From what I've done the past few weeks, because yesterday I, began posting a series of questions on my social media and yesterday's question that I posed was aimed at the first responder. And the question was, when did you stop talking at home? And what I wanna say is that A, I really appreciate how many comments, how many [00:04:00] people actually participated in my question because that doesn't always happen that way.

And this time I got a lot of people commenting, especially on TikTok and engaging and being honest, and many of them shared the same conversation that my loved ones don't get it. If they don't understand this line of work, they don't understand what I'm really up against. So I choose not to share or I don't want to, relive it.

I get that, of course not. Or I don't want to traumatize my family. I get that. Of course not. But here's what I do wanna really highlight is that our family wants to be part, they wanna be part of, they wanna be able to support us. They don't have to understand the job in order to be our support system, and we don't have to tell them all the trauma and then traumatize them.

But here's what I can tell you is that your families are experiencing vicarious trauma regardless if you speak or not. And a lot of that [00:05:00] is because you are bringing other people's trauma from the runs that you have home and then not talking about it. And when I say talking about it, here's what I wanna suggest.

It can look something as simple as, honey, you know, I had a, a rough run today. It involved a family in a car accident. That simple. and the tool that I really wanna recommend, that is part of a bigger part that I offer through the coaching side of what I do.

Is all about this reentry protocol. 'cause that first 10 minutes when you walk in your house is the most important 10 minutes of your entire night. And so if you can begin to establish these new tools to open up a different line of communication with your family members, with your loved ones, with your spouse, it can make it a lot easier.

One, you won't feel alone. Maybe you don't feel alone, but two, it will include them. All they want is to be included. They wanna be in your circle, they wanna play team with you. [00:06:00] And when we don't open up with our partners, with our family members, they feel left out. So don't share the trauma, but give them something.

Start with that reentry protocol right after ship where you're walking in and simply saying, who do you need me to be tonight, honey? Is there anything I should know about your day? And vice versa. Allow your spouse to ask that question to you as well so that you have that foundational start to your day together so that if you're having a really bad day and you just need to go and chill in a dark room and a nap, or whatever you need to do, you have the ability to do that because you were clear on your communication.

So thank you all of you who participated. I intend on kind of using some of the information that you shared as a way to help educate others and teach others and support them as well. Obviously, I won't mention your name. But it's not for nothing. I can tell you that [00:07:00] much. And in addition, I do wanna recommend a couple additional resources to you today, because if you're really digging the Flashpoint podcast, there's a few other podcasts out there that I think that you get to get your clause into if you haven't already.

And the first one is Operation Yellow Tape with Kenny Mitchell. Because Kenny has a way of being interruptive and direct and saying all the things that we think maybe, but don't say. But he also is a foundational leader when it comes to what post-traumatic growth looks like and what's possible. The next one is tell this story by Doug White.

Doug White is one of the most articulate, soft spoken, but direct and intentional speakers and podcast hosts. Again, Doug taps into his vulnerability in a way. That truly makes you feel seen. And lastly is Blue Grit Radio with Eric Tung. And I had the [00:08:00] pleasure of meeting Eric this past week, well, virtually on the phone.

And that man too is the kind of person that speaks from a place of humility and authenticity and genuinely cares about his people. Genuinely cares what's going on in the world of leadership and administration. Your agencies. He genuinely cares about changing the conversation. And so all three of these leaders are speaking into post-traumatic growth.

They're not speaking into the war stories they're speaking into, I get it. You've been there. I've been there. So what are we gonna do about it? Here is what we can do about it. And you're not a alone friend.

So this upcoming week, we have a incredible guest, AK Dozanti joining us. And AK went a different direction than what she normally goes. You know, a lot of people know her from the book Beat the Burnout. She's a number one bestselling author, or they know her from her national travels where she [00:09:00] speaks to folks about burnout.

But we're went a little bit of a different direction. I asked her if it was okay and she agreed, and we went a little bit of a different direction. And the direction that we went was much more family and spouse focused. How her experiencing adrenal fatigue and burnout directly affected her brand new relationship at the time, and how her partner showed up and the tools that they use every single day that actually highlight the things that I've been saying for the past six episodes.

So it is going to be a different side of AK than you've ever seen, and I really wanna encourage you to tune in, share it with your friends, share it with your loved one, share it with your spouse. This one is really meant for spouses too. So I can't wait to see you all on Thursday. Please grab this Monday by the mindset.

Make it a strong day, friends. We'll see you soon.