Healing After The Last DM

Heartbreak. Healing. Growth.

Tonight’s episode of the Kevin 3.0 Era Podcast is about bouncing back after the last DM and choosing to keep moving forward. 🎙️

Transcript

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Welcome to the Kevin 3.0 Era Podcast. And in tonight's episode, we're gonna talk about healing after the last DM. How to deal with the heartbreak. Or if we're going through one. Tonight's episode is a tough one for me. It's a very tough one. And lately I haven't been myself. And it's been a tough one lately. So grab your cup of coffee or your tea and just sit back and relax. And a very interesting one. You know, um, heart rate sucks. They really, really fucking suck. And to be honest, I've seen it all. I've seen it all, and this one was one of the toughest ones because I really valued the connection that I had. I really valued everything. And sometimes things don't work out and things happen, and to be honest, all we can do is just focus on ourselves. You know, I really, really enjoyed it. You know, the memories, the experiences that I had with them, and it sucks. This ending was not the one that I s foresaw, and I honestly was very I don't know, honestly, it caught me off guard. This whole week was very stressful. I was teaching back to back, schoolwork was piling up as I prepare for midterms, and I've been dealing with a lot of internal stress and external stress, and sometimes we need that support, and on one of the toughest weeks that I've had, you know, I should have noticed when someone is distant and when someone when things are gonna go bad. And it sucks. It really, really sucks. After having the hardest week of my life, the most stressful one, and I felt like a machine after teaching my last class, and I was like, you know what? I felt good, it was a good class, the playlist was good, and I felt the sign of relief. And you get the dreaded last DM. And you kind of ask yourself, how do we bounce back after this? How do we What's what's next? What is what's next for me? Like and you have all these emotions, all these feelings. That's what I had. Like I had all these internal feelings and external feelings about my perception of it, and I just took a deep breath. When I got the final DM, I was clueless. I couldn't process it. I couldn't it was just it just didn't hit me right there and then I felt like like I was dreaming, I was like down, like having this shitty week, this stressful week of to-dos, and and here we are. That day I was my mind went blank and you know and it happens. There's no shame, there's no you know, it is what it is. Things happen for a reason and it hurts. Like my first instinct was to call one of my friends that I haven't spoken to in like two years, like and I was surprised she picked up the phone. Because I cried my ass off. And you know, I I had every right to cry, like I had every right to feel what I felt that day and that moment. I don't care what anyone says, but I had every single right to cry. And my friend picked up and after not speaking for two years, I just told her I just needed someone to speak to. And I apologize for not communicating with her, and I know we've both been busy, but the fact that she picked up the phone and she comforted me. And I value it a lot because I just hate these heartbreaks. And it's normal, you know, it's gonna happen from time to time in our lives. We go through them. And this one was just one of the hardest ones to go through. And originally this episode was gonna be called Cleaning House in the DMs, but you know, sometimes when we have our we had our you know, we had our self-healing action plan, our self-healing plan, and things happen. This is one of those little obstacles that you know I'm on this bridge to healing, to self-healing, and it swerved right. When you think when you let me take a break and collect my thoughts for a bit. I'm so sorry. Honestly, I cried for a few days after that call. After calling my friend, I just shut down. I for some reason when I go through these heartbreaks, I had this mentality of of just like screw that, screw them, I'll be fine. This one was a little different, and it hit me hard. It hit me really really hard because I got vulnerable with them and I shared vulnerability with them, and that's why it hit me the hardest when when this chapter closed when the final final DM was delivered to me. Because you feel empty, you feel like disappointed, you feel like damn, like this is it, like like this is it, like this is how it's gonna end, like, and it sucks. Um to be honest, I just grasped everything in the moment, and after getting that call from a friend, and I shed my final tear, I wiped my face, I cleaned my face, and I did a kickboxing class. I did a kickboxing class to let my emotions out to let you know when I get stressed, like you know, I like to do these high-intensity workouts to just forget about it, and that's exactly what I did. I did a quick workout afterwards. I blasted my favorite music, and I told myself in the mirror that I'm gonna be okay. And that we're not gonna sit around and cry, we're not gonna lay down all day and cry, we're not gonna We're not gonna let it consume me. I let it all out in the moment and I let it you know sink in for a bit. I wasn't going to let it consume me. I wasn't going to let my emotions of sorrow and sadness consume me because I was I wasn't raised that way. And I know it's different for everybody, but in my case I just wanted to get up. So got ready and got some coffee and I walked to work. I did my 9 to 5 and went home and I laid down and did some meditation to just clear my mind of things. The following day I did an early workout in the morning. I woke up at 7 in the morning and did a workout at my home. I started with a kickboxing and then a strong nation class. Like I did a 30-minute by myself. Um I did like one of those solo classes because I still I also needed to prepare my moves for this week, and I felt better. Recovered with some Pilates and went out for a walk. I just walked to the park, sat at the bench, did some breath work, and went back home and got ready for work. And on Sunday I took a deep breath in. It was a late it wasn't a late shift, it was like a little mid shift. And still, I got my mind cleared and kept moving. The whole pattern with myself was that I kept waking up early these days and I stayed focused, I stayed active. On that s you know, same Sunday I caught up in my stu studies and I did it. On Monday I taught my MAC class and my Zumba lift class, and it was a hard day at work, you know, it was a little stressful, but it's okay. After work, I looked forward to my class and I did my class. I felt little doubt before. I felt like was I ready, was I not ready, like to to go back to teaching classes like that quick after going through that, and uh the moment I walked into the studio seeing my students, seeing them, you know, excited to have a class, especially for the math class, like I they felt so excited, and I forgot about it. I did the class with them and I felt okay. Now when I did the math class with them, it touched my heart when a lot of them were feeling success and they felt good about themselves, that they're able to do the movements now because we've been practicing it for a while, and I wanted to cry out of joy because when when my students make accomplishments, it really touches my heart. It does. Cause I like to see them succeed. After the class, I felt so good about myself and I I told myself that we're okay. We're gonna take it day by day, and we'll be okay. And we went straight back to our self-healing action plan. Yes, we had a mini heartbreak. Yes, this is what we felt at the moment. And I breathed. I b when I got home, I took a breath in and breathed out, and I put my music in. I wanted to like low for at least 10 minutes to listen to music. I finished, got right out and organized my closet, and you know, I stayed active. Started studying, reading, and it's been a process. On my off day today, I just honestly I did sleep in a little bit because I was tired, and when I got up, read some books, got out, saw my grandma, and and I went to the gym. When I went to the gym, I did my kickboxing class, like a solo one, and then I did my mat class, personal session, hit some weights, and went into the sauna, and I went out for a walk around Paseo and Old Town, and I was just vibing to the music, did some groceries, and came back home and just relax. And one of the things that I've realized is that I could feel sorry for myself right there and then. I can cry, I can cry, but I am in this new era. I'm in this 3.0 era. And going through this heartbreak was something that was not planned. Sometimes things aren't planned. Sometimes we may have you know, we have something going on, we're thriving, and then boom, something hits. And you just gotta get yourself right up and keep moving forward. Here's a saying that I had in my journal. When shit hits the fan, when you lose everything, and when you're at the rock bottom, the only way out is to get your ass up and climb. I don't know why I wrote it. It this is like a passage, like a little entry that I wrote three years ago in my journal. And one of my promises that I made to myself tonight was that I'm gonna get back to my journaling. I took a break, but starting tomorrow, at the end of my day, after my class from school, I'm gonna write in my journal for at least five minutes. A small start, we'll make some random entry, probably like I have this deck of cards of topics to write about. I'm just gonna shuffle in and pull one out just to get a habit of writing something, and we'll be okay. And whenever you go through a heartbreak, I want you to breathe in and breathe out and tell yourself that you're gonna be okay. It is not the end of the world. You gotta breathe in and breathe out and get up and keep moving forward. That's all we can do in life. Life can be very tough, life can be harsh for some of us, but we gotta persevere, we gotta keep moving forward, we gotta keep running that track, it's like a marathon, and keep pushing yourself to keep on going. It is rough out there, and trust me, there are times where you want to give up, but I will not give anybody the satisfaction of me giving up. Remember, you're bold, iconic, thriving, courageous, and humble. And you just gotta keep pushing forward. Keep pushing forward, continue thriving. Always, always be active. If you're gonna loaf around all day, just get up and do something small, whether it's a small walk, a small class on YouTube, make better habits. And when we think about these habits, you have to think to yourself, what do I want a good one? Like, or do I want a bad one? When you do a good habit, how do you feel afterwards? For me, when I'm active, when I do a class solo, like every morning, like before I go and have my adventure, like I do a small class, I'm like, I feel so good, I feel like I start the day off right. Or even after work, when I go work out, I feel so good. I got to de-stress, and I make it into a habit. After work, go to the gym, get a quick workout in. I feel amazing, and I'm ready for the rest of my day. I know it's tough. I know it's very, very hard to bounce right off when you go through these heartbreaks. I honestly thought I wasn't gonna continue thriving or continue moving forward, but I just did it, you know, and I feel good about myself. Like I said, even though it's over, even though this chapter is done, it's gonna be okay. All I can do is send them love wherever they're at, and all I can do for myself is to continue moving forward. I gotta keep pushing forward, I gotta continue learning, I gotta continue thriving, I gotta continue pushing and being a better person. For me, I can't waste my days, I can't waste time, I cannot loaf around. I need to continue building myself to becoming a stronger person. And if you want to cry, and if you wanna take a moment to cry, or just let it all out, go for it. In my case, the moment I let it all out, the moment I acknowledged it and cried and cried, I felt so much better. I wasn't gonna bottle up my feelings internally and let it consume me. You have to let it out. Just cry. It's normal, it's okay. It doesn't make you less of a person to cry. It's healing, and that's part of the healing plan that I have for myself. Keep pushing forward. Healing after the last DM can be rough. It's different for everyone. And it's hard, it's one of the hardest things to go through. You feel you know, you feel like it's a repeat of past events, or if it's your first time, it is a lot to deal with. And to be honest, I'm gonna be okay. At the end of the night, at the end of the day, I'm Kevin 3.0. I've been through worse. And we're gonna be fine. I'm gonna be fine. I am gonna continue pushing forward, and I will never, never give up on my journey. And sometimes when we go through these obstacles, when I go through these certain escapades, it's a learning experience. We learn from our mistakes, our past experience, our trauma, even from the good memories. And I had some good memories with this experience. I valued everything with this experience. And as this chapter closed, I'm thankful. I got to learn what I got to learn, and I got to heal the inner part of myself. Self-healing takes some time. Self-healing can be a little rocky when we're going through our action plan. But to be honest, we're gonna be fine. You gotta breathe in, breathe out, and tell yourself that you're gonna be okay. You gotta tell yourself to continue moving forward. And trust me, we'll look back on this and be like, damn. We're really crying. It is gonna be okay. I'm gonna be okay. And I'm thankful for everything. I'm thankful for that experience. I'm thankful for what I have, and I'm grateful for how far I've come in my journey. I'm thankful. As we go through this year, just continue pushing forward. And continue thriving, continue being humble. Don't ever give up. Don't ever let yourself down. Even if others let you down in the past, even if they have played with your emotions, just breathe in, breathe out, and let it go. You're gonna be okay. Have a good night.