Bits and Boobs

This one is for the men: Adam Mckay - Brett's Story

• Dakota Middleby and Bianca Innes

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This one is for the men.

In this deeply moving episode, Adam shares the story of his brother Brett, a hardworking, big-hearted young man whose life changed from simple back pain to an aggressive cancer diagnosis in a matter of months.

Adam opens up about brotherhood, the brutal reality of treatment, and how Brett turned his pain into purpose by sharing his story online to help others. It’s a raw conversation about love, grief, mental health, and what it really means to stand beside someone you love right to the very end.

A powerful reminder to speak up, get checked, and never underestimate the impact of showing up for the people you love.

This episode contains conversations about cancer, end-of-life moments, and loss. Please take care while listening if these topics feel close to home.

Follow their story on socials! 

Adam Mckay - @adam__mckay1 

Brett Mckay - @brett_mckay

This episode contains discussion around grief, mental health and suicide. If anything in this conversation brings up difficult feelings for you, please know you don’t have to navigate that alone.

If you or someone you know needs support, the following services are available in Australia:

• Lifeline Australia – 24/7 crisis support

Call 13 11 14 or visit https://www.lifeline.org.au

If you are in immediate danger, please call 000.

If this episode resonates with you, consider reaching out to someone you trust or one of the services above. Support is available.

Get in touch with us!

🎧 Follow the journey on Instagram & TikTok: @bitsandboobs.podcast
✨ Connect with us: @dakotamiddleby & @biancainnes

SPEAKER_03

Welcome back to Bits and Boots. This week's episode is one for the men in your life. Dakota and I sat down with Adam Mackay as he shared the story of his big brother Brett. By the end of this episode, I'm sure you'll agree that Brett was the ultimate big brother. Hardworking, big-hearted, and one who didn't deserve the cards that he'd been dealt. He noticed some back pain that was persistent, which was later diagnosed as an aggressive form of cancer. In this conversation, Adam opens up about brotherhood, the reality of treatment, and how Brett turned his pain into purpose by sharing his story online to help others. It's a really raw conversation about love, grief, mental health, and what it really means to stand beside someone you love until the very end. This episode does contain conversations about cancer, end-of-life moments, and loss. So if these topics are sensitive to you, please know you can always come back to it. Dakota and I would love this episode to serve as a powerful reminder to speak up, get checked, and never underestimate the impact of showing up for the people that you love. Oh, and one last little thing. This recording was done remotely, so you might notice a slight difference in Adam's audio quality, but it by no means detracts from Brett and Adam's incredible story of resilience. Let's welcome in Adam.

SPEAKER_01

Welcome Adam. Thank you so much for joining us today.

SPEAKER_05

Thanks for having me on. I am um yeah, I'm looking forward to this.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, so are we. We've been talking about, you know, you and Brett's story for a while, and yeah, Bianca and I just really admire everything that you guys have been doing the last 12 months. And yeah, Bianca and I are just really excited to have you on.

SPEAKER_04

Awesome. Yeah, no, I'm I appreciate um you guys letting me come on and and and speak a bit about um Brett and um everything.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, no, I think this has the impact, the potential to impact so, so many men and women, and especially in that younger age demographic too. So this is a conversation that I don't think really anyone wants to miss.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, so Adam, why don't you start and tell us a little bit about Brett prior to all of this nasty things? Like, what was Brett like as a person? Tell us about everything about him. We kind of want to hear a bit about Brett.

SPEAKER_05

He was a hard worker. He um it was it it's interesting. As young kids, you have your you have your little arguments and you you hang out all the time, and it wasn't like we were very close, we were very close as siblings. He um he had his own friends, I had mine, and then obviously uh as we got older, uh there was times where I thought we were separating because he had his own life, I had mine, and then it wasn't until we were 18 that's when we really got close, you know. We uh I I met a lot of his friends, we started going out, and he um you know he did an apprenticeship doing aircon and refrigeration. So he was he was always a very hard worker, he loved hard work, he loved, you know, um what wanting to make a an honest living, and um uh he always talked about traveling, but he he never thought he got the chance, and and then he finished his apprenticeship, and he it's it's quite interesting, you know, like it's you you see how he talked with his friends, and then you see how he talks to you, and it's almost like and I mentioned it a few times to his friends. I always thought he put on a bit of like a front, but it it was never a front. He could literally get along with anyone and everyone, like everyone knew him, everyone knew him as this guy that was he was very happy, he was bubbly, he was the person that had everyone love him. Like he he was hated by no one, I guess you could say. He was he was he was he was a good man, you know. He he never wanted to do anyone any harm. Um he he stuck true to his morals and his values as a person. Um, and that that got him very far, you know, in into his life, you know, he was respected by a lot of people. Um yeah, so he was he was yeah, very, very bubbly, happy, a good brother.

SPEAKER_01

He sounds like one of those um those people you call yellow, you know, like there's really like they're like that's my yellow person. He's Brett sounds like he was everyone's yellow person, and that's just so sweet.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, and that's that's exactly it. Like we um it literally when I was as soon as I turned 18, like I'm I'm 22 now, what as soon as I was 18, you know, we we got very close. But we we we were catching up every weekend because I lived with him, you see, so it was always I was always seeing him, we were always bubbly. He wasn't much of an affectionate person though. He didn't like me smuggling him all the time with hugs and that, but you were the more affectionate brother, yeah. Me being the little brother. I loved I love to hug, and um you sound like my two boys.

SPEAKER_03

Exactly what you sound like. I've got my little one-year-old that just wants to be all over my four-year-old, and my four-year-old says, I want space. So that's exactly what it would have been like.

SPEAKER_05

It was exactly like that, you know, like he he he wanted his own space, but I was me being a little annoying brother, I wanted to always evade that and always just get into his little bubble. But he yeah, it's like he I I think as we grew up, he sort of got a little bit, you know, softer and and um a bit mellowed, yeah. Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_00

What's some annoyingly brother things that you guys did to each other, like some funny stories? Give us your front your funniest brotherly story.

SPEAKER_05

Oh, I don't know. I think I don't know, because he's because he's a big brother. As a as a young young sibling, you always have someone to look up to and you know, you see their mistakes, and then you as you grow up, you're like, okay, I know what not to do and what to do. But obviously, me being little brother, I always teased him, you know. Like when he was when we were both in high school, he had his exams. I'd always be teasing him, not knowing how important his exams were. So that was you know, he he never liked that. We got into a few push and shoves, and then dad would have to step in a few times, but you know, we um I don't know, it was just just little brother annoying big brother, I guess, you know. Like we I sometimes might steal the same clothes that he wears, um uh maybe not, you know, undies and that, because that's that's all him.

SPEAKER_03

Well, that's alright. If you did, you don't have to say it here. We won't tell your secrets. It's okay. And what was the age gap between you guys? How many years apart were you?

SPEAKER_05

Uh he was four years older than I am.

SPEAKER_03

Oh wow, okay, cool. Yeah, and as you got older, that gap does start to close, doesn't it?

SPEAKER_05

Well it it does, yeah. You know, as a young kid, you you see him as your big brother who's you you you you sort of feel like, oh he's so much older than I am. But it's not until you know, it wasn't until I was really 18 and I was like hanging out with him, and it was like he wasn't just my uh my big brother who I thought was you know so much older than I was, he was more of a mate, uh a person I lived with, and I changed my perspective on him a little bit. Like it was I was living with my best mate and my brother, and I never saw age as being a thing of like this massive, you know, thing. It was it was no longer that, you know. It was um yeah, a lot more special.

SPEAKER_01

When did things start to turn a bit south? Like, was there a time that like you guys realised something wasn't right with Brett's health? Did he speak about it openly? Did you notice different things within his behaviour, or how did that kind of all unravel?

SPEAKER_05

So he because he did air conditioning and refrigeration, he was always straining his back. Um, he was always, you know, uh he was a very hard worker. He didn't know when to sort of have a break and just chill and relax. And so it was probably he went to Canada um in just before September. Uh and so uh he started to get a bit of back pain. Even um probably three months before he went to Canada, he started to get back pain, and and no one thought it was you know anything serious because uh in the trade industry you're always straining your back, your neck, your your arms. So no one no one even thought of anything. And then um uh the back pain got a little bit more severe and worse. And uh this is the thing, uh, and I wish you know more people spoke up about is um if you have a bit of pain, just go to the doctors. You there's no point, you know, toughing it out because yeah, like he he he thought he could. He thought, oh, it's just a bit of back pain, I'll get I'll get better, and you have your good and your bad days where the pain goes away, and then um um yeah, it sort of got worse and worse and worse, and then uh it wasn't you know until in Canada when he was um uh having a shower and it was probably maybe two months, a month and a half in, he was having a shower, and uh he had to sit down on the the shower floor because the steam got too much for his lungs. And this is the thing, you know, like in um Canada, they uh everyone like not everyone, but most people they you know they have um cannabis to help with pain or or yeah whatever. And so big fan of it over here. Yeah, yeah. So he had spoken to a um uh a a person, he's like, Oh, uh, I'm getting a bit of pain. So they gave him these gummies. Who he took these gummies every night, but he said around eight o'clock every single night the back pain would come. Like eight o'clock sharp, the back pain would come. He'd take these gummies and then he'd have a shower. And it got r to the point where he was having a shower, and the steam, he described it as like you couldn't even breathe. Like it was like the air was so dry, it was just he he he couldn't breathe. He was and then he had to sit on the on the shower floor, and you know, he even um uh uh even just before that time, he spoke to my old man and he said, Oh, I you know, I I've I've got this back pain and and coughing, but I don't really I don't want to go to the hospital. And my old man said, mate, just go, like don't you know, don't worry about money, just go, just do it, make sure you're okay. And um, yeah, he he went and um they found a 100 mil tumour on his um on his kidney.

SPEAKER_01

Um did he decide to come home straight away when that happened, or did he still kind of see out his travels over there?

SPEAKER_05

Well that that's the thing. So he went with his uh ex-girlfriend, and so she wasn't really there for him a whole lot, and so he was more uh as soon as it sort of happened, he was in hospital, he was in the emergency for a little bit, and this is the thing is that you need to have travel insurance. Like, I think they said it's ten grand a day in the ICU or something like that, like something crazy. And you know, like he was in there for like four or five days, and they couldn't even say what was wrong. And my old man's calling up the doctors and he and and they're saying, you know, oh we we we don't really know what's going on, like we're we're we're still trying to have a look. But you know, if you if that happened in Australia, you'd probably know within two days what was sort of happening with someone, and he was in there for four or five days, and he still didn't know, so it was a battle of like can we find out what's going on? Can we just can we get him home? And it it was that fear of like we felt helpless, you know. I our my brother, my my my dad's you know, baby boy is is now struggling in hospital in an in another part of the world where we can't help. And that was um we were yeah, we were scared, and and ki and my brother, of course, he was he was frightened.

SPEAKER_03

Wow, so when when you guys are waiting for these answers, how did that kind of unravel from there?

SPEAKER_05

Well, so he was still in the ICU for a little bit, and so they found uh they did a f they did a few tests and they were having trouble locating his kidney. And the reason why was that the there was a hundred mil tumour on his kidney that was pushing it up against it and sort of hiding it in a way. So when they did the scans, they they were like, Where where is where's your kidney? And then they had found out that you know there was a hundred mil tumor, and then they they did a few more tests and that, and then um they said, Okay, we we need to start chemo, like straight away. I remember the day, you know, uh Brett was he was crying and he sent me a video, he said, Man, I've got to start chemo. You know, that we got the phone call that they had said, Oh, I've got cancer, and I came home from work and the whole family we were shocked. You know, it it was like no one in the world would have thought you know it was cancer just from a simple back pain.

SPEAKER_01

It can't be me, it can't be my family, like there's just no way mean you're in so much denial at where you're just like no, this is like it can't be true. And then when it starts to like all cave in, you're just like holy fuck, what next, you know?

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, oh for sure. Yeah, like we were we were shocked, you know. Any time, anytime you hear the word cancer, you you're obviously gonna think the worst. You're not you're not gonna think that, oh, okay, it's just cancer, we'll we'll beat it. You know, you your mind doesn't go like that to start off with. You you you're like, oh no, this, you know, like because you know, every everyone, you know, has uh knows someone who's either battled cancer, passed away from cancer, is fighting cancer, and you know, it it's even if you uh there's like even if you beat cancer and you know, it's still those the trauma that you you know you that that follows you uh type of thing. And so he um he started chemo and you know he had like reactions, he had his face was all swelling up, you know, he was obviously not eating, um, and you know, we were on the phone and we were we just wanted, you know, I wanted we wanted my brother home. And um so he was in there, I think he was in there for five weeks, um and he ended up um dad had to pay like uh quite a bit of money to get him back from where he was in Banff all the way back to Australia. He had to fly from it was somewhere and then another place and then back to Australia on a commercial flight with two nurses. Um and he came back at like it was very early in the morning because I had finished work and I remember seeing him at like 5 30 in the afternoon and you know he was one kilo to l before he left to go to Canada. He came back into Australia at 61 kilos. I was I was shocked like that that that that hit very deep. Of course.

SPEAKER_03

And so when so he left Australia at the was he diagnosed at the end of 2024, the September, or was it just after?

SPEAKER_05

It was it was uh he came home just before December of 2024. So he was diagnosed in Canada and then and then uh came back into Australia to start more chemo.

SPEAKER_03

Are you able to tell us what Brett's initial diagnosis of the cancer was?

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, so um the name they and I've got written down because it is a very sort of a big name. Uh always are yeah, it was metastatic non-seminona uh plat platinum platinum refactory germ cell cancer.

SPEAKER_03

Jeez, isn't that a mouthful?

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, and it was yeah, so it was it was well, I guess what that sort of means is it was a very aggressive cancer. It it it comes from um it came from his test, like his testicles. Um it it was the size of like it was like the size of a pea, like very, very small. And then it it goes through to your uh kidneys, to your liver, to parts of your lungs, and then you know, finally to your brain. And at the stage that where they sort of caught it when they were back into Australia, they did all these tests and they had found out, okay, you've got um cancer in your liver, you've got spots on your lungs, you've got a hundred mil tumour on your kidney, and these are all things, and it it's one of those things with how long did you have this for? You know, um it's just and even sort of after when they removed um uh I think it was his left testicle where the the cancer had sort of originated from, um, it was still everywhere in in parts of his body. So and they couldn't they couldn't cut it open because it was the way they described it is that your body um with like cancer and tumours, your body um tries to protect whatever part is that where the cancer is, and by cutting it up can can spread the cancer even further. So they couldn't even do a biopsy on his um on his on his like type of cancer because the the fear and the worry and the risk of it spreading super quick and super aggressive was there.

SPEAKER_03

Oh yeah, thank you for saying that because I think that it's really um important for our listeners to understand where the cancer originated and how quickly and aggressive it really can be. I mean, like you said, starting so small as a pee and it's travelled up to be a hundred millimeters on his kidney. So once you guys have obviously you've got him on home soil now and you can rally around him as a support network. What did he need at that time? I mean, he's just he's just been traveling, his his life has been flipped upside down, he's already been receiving the chemo by himself. So now how do you guys as a family and mates rally around him?

SPEAKER_05

And and that and that was the hardest thing because I, you know, I'd spoken to my dad about this. Like, how do you comfort another human being who is battling something that we can't even help? It's it it's it's like this is your battle. We're gonna help you the best way we can, but we can't like we can't say, okay, I want some of your pain to come onto us. You can only be there physically and emotionally, but everything else is completely up to him. So when we got when he when he was back home, we just knew that okay, we've we've just got to keep put all our focus on him, you know, make sure he eats well, make sure he's in high spirits, keep keeps his hopes up, don't let don't let the fear of cancer and the unknown really um scare you to to the point where you just you're sad, you you're you're depressed. I think that's what the hardest thing was, is because for for him to see an outsider's point of view, like his own family, try and tell them that everything's gonna be okay, like you got this, but truly we we didn't know. And it it's it's hard because you're you're almost you're not you're not lying, but you you just you don't know. You don't know if it is gonna be okay. Yeah, and you don't want to give false hope. And that's the thing. And it's like, how do you how do you do it? How do you navigate your yourself around that?

SPEAKER_03

You're saying that how important it was to keep up his spirits and making sure that he wasn't going into those low depressed places. As m anyone who is listening has either been directly or indirectly affected by cancer, they know that it's 90% a mental battle because it is that you've got all these people around you saying you can do it, you can be strong, but like you said, they can't jump in the ring and fight for you. How did he navigate all these mental health challenges? I know, especially as men, it's it's a lot harder for you guys to open up and talk. Did he struggle with that or how did he navigate it?

SPEAKER_05

He did, you know, he he's he he wasn't I won't say he wasn't one to speak about his feelings, but he was very to himself. It was um like after the first hit of chemo, that really hit him. That took a massive toll on his mental health. Like he it it was like the first time I saw him going through the chemo, it was like he was sort of 80% dead. He just no energy, like no, no life. And then they said, Oh, okay, your tumor mark is as low as um uh is going really low. So his hopes went back up, and then they said, Okay, now you've got to have chemo again. That was probably the hardest time I've ever seen him mentally, you know. He um uh I'll I'll I'll never forget he sat my myself down, my dad and my mum, and he said, Look, I'll be honest if suicide hasn't crossed my mind, and it's very, very hard to hear your brother say those words. Because it's again, you're an outsider's trying to tell you that everything's gonna be okay, but meanwhile you're fighting a battle that no one understands, and and and it's it's crippling out, and it's it's it's absolutely killing out, and um, you know, but we uh and this is the thing is that um I I said to him, Man, you you've got to keep fighting, like he use use this pain as as a story to help motivate someone, and um it was it it wasn't just that, it was it was everything after the chemo. He uh his tumour count kept fluctuating, and it was that mental battle of um, you know, you got his support, you know. He he texted a lot of his friends and he had support. He got his heart broken from his um ex-girlfriend that was over in in Canada, and um uh he had to come back into Australia while she stayed over there, and then uh she she broke his heart. So I won't dive too much in, but she had made fun of his cancer diagnosis and stuff like that, and I will I'll I'll never truly forgive that. And he took that very hard, you know. And then you've got you you're you're battling cancer. Uh it's it was hard. It was it was very hard. He um yeah, he had uh he had he had friends to support him though. He had he had us to support him, he had he had us to help guide him and try and tell him that everything's gonna be okay, he'll keep fighting. And um, I I I praised my my old man a lot because it was.

SPEAKER_03

I was just about to ask about your parents.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, it was it was my old man's mentality of like you know, he brought us up to never give up, keep fighting that tough fight, you know, don't don't put your head down, keep your chin up, keep keep pushing on. And uh obviously after the second diagnosis, when they said, Okay, you've got to go have chemo for the second time, that that all hit again. Yeah, uh we we just kept telling him you've got to keep fighting. And even though he said to us, look, all side has crossed my mind, we just had to keep putting into his head, don't give up, please don't give up. I I you know, and I'd spoken to a lot of my friends and I said I don't want my brother being another statistic.

SPEAKER_01

When you mentioned that Brett stopped chemo and then he had to start again, did he have a little bit of time off the chemo? Was that from the flight, or is that because they thought they had everything under control and then it went back off track?

SPEAKER_05

Well, so he had chemo in Canada, he came back into Australia, and the doctors and nurses um uh obviously knew that he had chemo in Canada, so they're like, Okay, we'll we'll start chemo sort of straight away. And they had started chemo, uh it went on it went on for a little while. Um, and then uh He stayed in hospital, but he could find time to come in and out of hospital. It was just after that sort of chemo, he had a little bit of a break. I'd say maybe maybe a month or two of a break. And I think, and when I say break, I think what it was was they were doing a little bit more tests. So trying to find out how his body was reacting, the tumor count, uh, how the cancer was, if it if it had spread further, if they were if it was really, really working. Um and then the the second time when they said, Okay, you'll have to have chemo a second time, they said, We're gonna put you on a higher dose. And this this higher dose um scared him because it it it it's a very, very high dose. It wasn't anything like the chemo he had in Canada, and it wasn't anything like the chemo he had the um Yeah, yeah, it was a lot more stronger. It um it hit him a lot more harder. He had to um he went into uh Brisbane PA Hospital to sort of um uh have it done, and then he stayed in there for I think it was like six weeks. Um and through that whole process, he had no immune system, he had pneumonia, um uh, he had all these different sicknesses, he had COVID multiple times. Um, he he was having problems with his tonsils, he uh the the chemo even um ripped up parts of his tongue, like made it very like dry and very like almost like snake skin. Yeah, yeah. He had many ulcers and um he had to uh have certain creams and he couldn't eat certain foods, and then his weight uh was constantly shifting, and then his energy levels, and I I think that was probably the most mental uh you know strain that he's ever sort of had was that period of when is this gonna end? When can I get a break?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, wow. Oh, it's so so tricky because especially like you watching someone you love going through that is just it's honestly horrible because you just wanna you just want to hope everything's okay and you want to be there for them and you know they're going through their own mental kind of battles themselves, but I guess what kind of made was it you that prompted Brett to start sharing online to kind of educate other males to get onto these things early? Or did Brett say, like, hey, I really want to like, you know, start sharing things that I wish I knew about? How do we kind of get to like that education piece? Because Bianca and I, you know, we find that really important when we're sharing stories on here, is like it's having these conversations that you know get shared to someone and go, oh, that could be me kind of thing. And like, yeah, is that how you guys felt in that moment where you're like, fuck, how can we actually educate people so this doesn't happen to anyone else and be onto those things? Or was there any bit of like a light bulb moment that made that happen?

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, and this is something I haven't actually ever told anyone. Um, I've told people similar stories, but he, you know, he wanted to commit suicide a few times, and um I I wanted to do everything in my power to make sure that obviously, you know, he never did. So I had said, Hey, what happens if you were to share a story? Just take a video and explain your story, like talk about everything you're facing, the type of cancer, give people a reason, you know, to wake up in the morning and and and feel motivated. And so he did. He filmed a video and he even told me he didn't even know what a reel was on Instagram. He thought you took a video, he thought if you take a video and only your followers can see, and he posted a he posted a reel, and I don't even think he used any hashtags, but because I think his account was like yeah, he just posted it, he's his um account was public, he just posted it, and then I remember the next day he's like, Oh my god, I've got like a thousand like thousands of views and likes, and I was like, What? And I looked at it, I'm like, Oh my god, man. And then he's gone viral, yeah, yeah. He everyone, the the comment section, it was it was you know, he it was he was famous for a day for telling a story and his story. And he he kept he kept going and and and going and going, and um he I could see I could finally see the joy in you know in his eyes, his mood, you know, his smile. He felt that okay, I've got a new goal. And I I'll never forget, we were sitting on the beach and we were both eating in a cybowl uh at um at Kira near Kulangata. And um I said, Oh, so when's your next video gonna come out? And he's like, I've already filmed it, I'm I'm gonna start, you know, posting more videos on a weekly, on a weekly basis, and I was so happy for him because it it took his mind away from this dark space of you know suicidal thoughts, depression, you know, anxiety, onto okay, what if I can help another human being that you know is also battling the same thing, or someone who is on another crisis who can look at my story and and and be like, okay, if this guy's doing it tough, I can I can I can beat whatever I'm fighting. And that really that really hit him. At first it was just uh I'm gonna post a video and I'll see I'll just tell people, and then it soon shifted to I'm gonna help as many people as I can. And um, I I said I I praised him for that so many times because the the mental shift of okay, I'm very sad, depressed, to okay, boom, I'm gonna help people, and it was beautiful to see a lot of people walked up to him on our walks in Cooley, Kulangata, and um, you know, he he'd get hugs, he'd get you know old ladies that had Instagram and and and say, Oh my god, I watched your video, like and it was it was the best thing, you know. Like I I tell other people it it's it's the best thing being complimented for for sharing a story and doing good. Um and I it it it it raised his spirits, you know, and uh anyone that's watched his last yeah, like anyone that's watched his last video, he you know, he if you even if you watch his first video to his last video, his his whole mentality changed. You know, he wasn't really one to cry. Like, believe it or not, he was very like very, very stubborn, like very stubborn, you know. Some would say that he probably didn't have many feelings, you know, but he he it it it it showed a lot. That last video he posted where he was crying on camera and he said, I'm so glad I've helped so many people. It you watch that and and it's obviously different to a lot of other people because he's my brother, but I I could so see the massive difference in how he's changed his mindset to you know to helping people and just being so passionate about you know wanting to help people and and tell a story.

SPEAKER_03

Wow, and that's I think that's a really perfect segue into exactly what we wanted to talk about. And that's your brotherhood. I mean, the fact that you've been side by side since birth, really, and then you've grown up and become these men together. When you say that he's he was stubborn and he maybe didn't show too many emotions, where do you think that turning point was within him that he was like, you know what? Fuck it, let's break down the walls and kind of let himself just be who he was at his core. Because I watched, I watched all those videos today actually in preparation. And you can some might look at say the first video when he's looking more well than he was in his last and think, wow, that's very sad and the the decline. But I kind of saw it the other way. And I I watched this guy who was maybe a little bit uncertain of himself and a bit of a bit unsure of what he was putting out into the world. And in comparison to that last photo that I that video that I watched of him, he was so sure of himself. And he had his he was just laying his soul to bear. And I think cancer has the ability to do that to anyone, and I think that's the really beautiful thing about it. But where did you see as brothers? It's different if it's his mate, but as brothers, where did you see that turning point? Because it's the difference is so beautiful. It really, really is.

SPEAKER_05

And this is the hardest part is um, you know, he went from starting his diagnosis, he was, you know, like I said, he was very stubborn, very much like this uh, I'll say staunch like personality where he thought, okay, I'm I'm I'm bulletproof and all that, to the cancer was slowly breaking him down, and and he sort of realized, hey, like I'm I'm I've got to stop, you know, being like this. I've just embrace embrace emotions, embrace your feelings. Like, um, and so I I I I think I'll I'll say maybe towards the end, like I like it feels bad to say, but I think within himself he knew that it it possibly wasn't gonna work out, and he knew that you know why am I putting on a fake front? Why am I like just embrace it, like just just dive into the emotions, you know, like um it was it was very hard. I I'd I'd say probably maybe October, November of um the year that's just come, 2025, um, when you know the tune markers went back up and he got asked um three questions um which were you're gonna have to have chemo again, but you wouldn't survive. Like the doctor said, Yeah, I wouldn't even I if I was you I wouldn't do it. The second option was do natural remedies, and the third option was to take a palliative pill in which the cancer would kill you anyway, but it would slow it down. That's when his mentality changed. He he he went from oh my god, like this this is getting really serious now. And I think that sort of broke him as it would to anyone. He went from you know being this staunch tough guy to okay, I'm not so tough anymore. I I'm I'm really struggling. And that was the shift, is when you know he got told those three questions.

SPEAKER_03

I guess the best way to say that is that he was really staring death in the face, wasn't he? And he had to try and figure out you know what way to move forward.

SPEAKER_05

And that's and that's the hardest thing, you know. Like I I'll never forget. I'm I'm at home making a sandwich and I had my mum, my dad, and my brother walk upstairs and they're balling their eyes out. And I'm I've I've literally just dropped the plate and I'm like, what, what's going on? Like, tell me there's some good news. And they told me Brett's Brett's been given three choices, and in like they're the worst choices you could literally ever hear. Like, at no at no choice are you happy, at no choice are you at at peace. Like you're gonna it's either you're gonna be in absolute pain and you you you're gonna die, or you take natural remedies. And in the end, he ended up doing that. He took natural remedies. He was on like um a lot of people that had beaten cancer talked about, you know, this ivermectin and this fembembazole and and and stuff like that. He did everything right, he took powders um uh to help take out the bad metals from his body, like he was on a very strict diet, and just the type of cancer it was, it was super aggressive. And he never and this is the thing, he never broke his mentality. Even though he knew that death was creeping up on him, he would always tell people, I'm gonna b I'm gonna still fight, I'm gonna beat this, I'm gonna beat this shit.

SPEAKER_03

I think it's a really beautiful segue into talking about how Brett met his girlfriend. Can you tell us how they met and and where they met? And because I know that it was when he was sick, wasn't it?

SPEAKER_05

He he needed someone, he needed that that little bit of female love and affection that um you know a lot of men and and and people need. And so he was on he was on a dating app and uh he was talking to uh this woman Rihanna for for a while, and he told me, he's like, Oh, I'm talking to this uh to to this woman. And my first thought was, oh my god, like here we go, like it's gonna, it's it's this isn't gonna end well. So he was uh he started talking to this to this woman. Dad and I met her in a hospital because we were giving Brett dinner. She gave Brett and I uh sorry, dad and I a massive hug, kissed us, hugged us, and it was then I knew that this lady was was gonna be the one for Brett, you know. She had um always boosted Brett. Like uh Brett even said that I don't know how long and how far I would have made it without you. And I've actually got it on video of him saying that to her. And she she helped she lifted him up, you know. She um even days before he passed, she was like, You're gonna keep fighting this, aren't you? You know, even the day he they said to him, you know, you've you've got weeks and days potentially, she would still be standing there saying, You're gonna keep battling this, you're gonna keep fighting this, aren't you? And he's like, Yeah, like like like I am, yeah. Like she was the biggest supporter, you know. She was she was the one that you know he was a massive, massive softy for. And um my family and I will forever be in her debt, you know. She she made a massive she's family now forever. She is, you know, she she um I I don't know, Brett definitely wouldn't have made it as far as what he did without a beautiful woman like like Rihanna, um, you know, to help um you know give give him give him affection when he needed it, give him that little bit of a of a push, you know, when he felt at times where he he sort of he needed it from a from a woman. You know, you can only get so much from your family and from boys and men and all that, but it's not until a woman that loves you for you know having stage four cancer can can see you at your worst and still love you, still you know, give you hugs and kisses, and and he he he he needed that and she she she gave it to him.

SPEAKER_03

Wow, she sounds like a really incredible woman.

SPEAKER_01

She sounds like the yellow that he is to everyone, and she and then Yeah, she's a true angel, a lover, yeah.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

And you you mentioned before about when Brett and your parents walked up the stairs crying and you just dropped your plate, you didn't know what was going on. That kind of reaction, when you hear about it not knowing the background, you would imagine that someone has just walked into your kitchen and has told you that someone has died. But in your instance, that wasn't what happened. You were given news that there was an end date and it was coming close to it. Could you kind of explore a little bit about that anticipatory grief that you guys were feeling? Because you're grieving someone who's still standing in front of you.

SPEAKER_05

And yeah, and that's that that's the hardest thing, is when they walked upstairs and they're all crying, and and I'm looking at them in an absolute shock, like what's going on? I remember walking up to my brother and just crying to him and hugging him and saying, Man, I'm so sorry. Like I'm so, I'm so fucking sorry. Like I'm you know, this this isn't fair, you didn't deserve this. I don't want you thinking that you did because you don't. And um, yeah, it was it it was a very extremely confusing time because it was like, you know, I I and it sounds terrible, but it was knowing that he was probably he was it was a high possibility he was gonna die. You know, he even though you look in his eyes and still had this fighter mentality, we all knew that you know it wasn't looking good. No, those three choices, they none of them were good, you know, none of them there was no happy, happy ending in the end. And it was just that feeling of you know, where I'm so sad because you're here right now, but you you possibly won't be. It was a very confusing time, but it was you know, you can only hope for so much, and you gotta keep your hopes up in times of hardship and that. And it was just you, you know, it it it was it was very hard. We didn't know what to do, what to say. I just I wanted to hug him, I didn't want to let go, and I wanted to make sure that he was loved and and um he felt valued and and he had support.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, that would be so incredibly difficult because you you're grieving the future, but you want to hold on so close to the now because you it's not guaranteed. So I can imagine that would just be such a confusing place for you and your parents, and obviously, you know, his his mates and his partner, but that immediate circle, it's um it would be really difficult to navigate. And did you find that Brett was open to to talking about his mortality, or was he was he more focused on I'm gonna beat this? How did those conversations go with him?

SPEAKER_05

And that's the thing, like um it was probably maybe October or November, and I I've got an Instagram post where I I said take someone you love and make the day about them. And I I wanted I I didn't want him thinking about the end. I I wanted him, you know, my job was to look after him, our job was to look after him, and his job was to look after us. And it was this, it was we were no we didn't want to support, you know, death, we were we were gonna support him fighting, you know, we didn't want to have that mentality of oh my god, he's he's gonna die, and we're gonna just you know help him get there. It was it was never that. It was you're gonna keep fighting, we're gonna keep watching you fight, and we're gonna help you, and we'll be with you uh the whole way through. Um you know, obviously when it got progressively worse and worse, and the doctors had said, Okay, um, you know, you've got weeks and and and stuff like that, that was when, okay, it would that was a massive shock. It was it was almost impossible to have a have a strong face. Yeah, there was many there was many times we'd be in the family room and I'm crying, I'd have to walk outside because my old man told me you've gotta you've gotta be strong, you know. Yeah. Our strength, our strength gives him strength, and that was that was very hard to do, but we you you had to do it.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, you had no other option, did you?

SPEAKER_04

No. No.

SPEAKER_03

When you guys did receive the news as a family that there was mere weeks or days to go, what do you start doing as a family?

SPEAKER_05

Like how do you and and this is this is the hardest thing is that um the day we got told that um uh I was actually waiting outside his hospital door and um I I I saw like six, seven people in his room, and I'm like, I I'm I'm shocked. I'm like, what what's what's sort of happening? And um I I'm sitting outside and I'm just uh the nurses said you've just gotta sit here and and you know wait for the meeting to be over. They all came out and I walked in and dad and Brett are crying, and um the doctor said uh his you know the he was doing immunotherapy for a little bit, his bile duct was all blocked, that's why his skin was all yellow. And so they they said he'd he's uh the the immunotherapy is not gonna work and that was that was it. We knew that that was the um that that was the only thing that could have possibly saved saved us and um saved him. And I'm sitting beside his bed and I'm absolutely bore my eyes out. I'm um I'm holding him and I'm saying, I love you, man. I'm so I'm so fucking sorry. And that day, and a lot of people don't know, but that day we heard the news was the day we filmed that video, the Q ⁇ A, where we talked about uh about the cancer and stuff. Not a lot of people day uh know that that was the day that we got told that he's he he could have days, he could have weeks. A lot of people don't know that. And um, I wanted to film that video because I'm like, okay, we're coming to an end, like we need to we we let's just help people, let's let's you know, let's lift your spirit up a little bit by still be doing something you're passionate about, about helping people. And um uh when you said uh what do you do as a family, you just there was not much we could do, you know. We we had talked about going to Vietnam, we talked about going to Canada, to Fraser Island. It was just uh he wanted to ride in a sports car, and I that was one of the he had a he had a few wishes, you know. And um I I I said to my mate, my my one of my best mates, Jordan, um, who he he had drived, he drove a Porsche at the time. I said, Hey, I texted him, I'm like, hey, my my brother would love to drive uh your Porsche. We'll we'll I'll have I'll have dad in the car and we'll just we'll go down the highway and if Brett can just boost it. And um uh and unfortunately he was doing a lot of drugs, so he couldn't, he wasn't actually able to drive. So um I said to him, I said to him, okay, what if I what if I sit in the driver's seat and I I sp I I won't say spared, but I went pretty fast down the highway.

SPEAKER_03

Like it was one of his wishes, you had to give him a good one.

SPEAKER_05

That's what I mean. He he he his smile lit up like it could light up the whole. He was so so happy, and and I I'll forever be grateful for a lot of my friends and especially my best one of my best mates, Jordan, for like giving my brother an opportunity to smile, to feel happy, to to tick something off his list.

SPEAKER_03

And create a memory that you're gonna hold for the rest of your life. I think that that's people forget that, don't they? It's such a simple gesture, and you're gonna hold on, you're gonna see his face in that passenger seat for the rest of your life.

SPEAKER_05

And that's what I mean. Like even my friend Jordan, he like when I said to him, 'Oh, I'm thank you, man, love you. I'm this means the world.' He said to me, He's like, 'He's just like, 'Oh, that's okay.' Like, he didn't think it was a big deal. Yeah. To me, that that meant the world. That meant the world, knowing that my brother was happy. That even though he he was very unwell and he wasn't coping, it made him very happy knowing that he could smile, he had a reason to smile. Um, and and that's that was that was the best part. That it really was.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. What an awesome memory that you guys got to make together. Fuck, that's so cool. And yeah, so you you mentioned that you were in the hospital, obviously, when you guys recorded that QA. So how long were we talking when you guys were told days or weeks? What were we actually talking? And did he get to come home and be with you guys? What how does that kind of pan out?

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, so that day that they had told us. Um they said, okay, uh, because you uh they were giving him blood, and what they found out was they'd give him a bag of blood, and um uh I think his blood um count went from like 40, they give him a bag of blood, it went up to 70. They found out that on that day we took him out of hospital, they had given him three bags and his blood count was still dropping. So they said to him, Do you want to stay in the hostel or do you want to go? But uh they basically hinted that um or they they did they did actually say when you come back here, it would just be for pain treatment, like essentially saying we can't do anything just for pain management. And Brett said, I just want to go home. Yeah, and Brett said, I just want to go home. And you know, we took him home, and that was that was extremely hard, you know. We could you could see the the rapid decline in his body, his eyes. We you'd have conversations with him, and his eyes would he'd start closing his eyes mid-conversation. He even like uh you'd be talking to him and he'd be holding his phone, and then he'd drop his phone without even realizing it, and he's still pretending he's on his phone because he was just so so out of it. And um uh yeah, it was you you could just see the rapid decline in in his in his body. It was it was it was terrible. Yeah, so his last leading up to his last couple days, um, that was that was hard. I knew that um he started texting all his friends, he said, okay, let's catch up next week and stuff like this. He still thought he had weeks. I knew within myself he had days. I could see the decline in his body, and it got to the point where every day, you know, he would eat less and less and less. His body, he could move less, his his eyes, you know, he would constantly be closed, and it wasn't just because he was on fentanyl patches, he was on like morphine, he wasn't like it wasn't just the drugs that were putting him out, it was his body shutting down, and um, so uh, you know, every day his his his body got worse and worse, he would he would be in the family room, and then he'd he'd sort of keep coming in and out, but then towards the last two days, he was just in his bedroom, he didn't move, he didn't do anything. And he had his girlfriend and I, and you know, the whole family we had family friends come over and we were seeing him and taught saying that we love you and that, and then it led to um on the last day that was the hardest, um, or sorry, the night before he had passed, because he had said to me, Hey, do you want to sleep with me? And um, I my I the reason why I said no was because my biggest fear that you know I'd wake up and he would be passed passed away and he's lying next to me. And so I had said no. I was like, no, man, that that's totally fine. Like we'll I'll see you in the morning and um I'll I'll give you I'll give you you know a coffee and I'll give you some breakfast and it'll be sweet. And um he said he said yeah, okay, and then um he went to sleep, I woke up, and it was hard because days leading up to his passing, um, his girlfriend stayed with him, and he'd wake up at I think around 2 a.m. with anxiety attacks and panic attacks, and he even described this on I think it was maybe the two days before he passed. Um he described it as that he woke up at 2 a.m. and he felt like something left his body. He was he was crouched over on the side of his bed, and his girlfriend was holding his back, and she runs into my room and she says, Adam, you've got to come out. And I I walk out and he's he's outside on the balcony and he's got his head down, he's having like an anxiety attack. He described it as he felt something leaving his body, and I knew we didn't have time. And then uh the next day I'm talking to him, and we're uh this is the last day before he passed. I'm talking to him in the in the family room, and one thing I'll I'll never forget is he wasn't really one to ask a lot for help. He would sort of wait for someone to notice he was in pain or whatever, and then someone would help him. He wasn't one to put his hand out, and I think us men are a lot like that. We don't really ask for help, we sort of wait for help to come to us. And so he said to me, He's like, Can you give me a hand up to my bedroom? And that was very hard because he put his hands up like a baby reaches for for a parent, and I've got my arms, and I I put my arms under him, and um he said, Oh, I thought he was giving me a hug. I really did, I really thought he was gonna give me a hug. So I I'm giving him a hug, and he's like, What? And I'm like, Oh sorry man, I thought you'd give me a hug. So I had to uh I literally had my arms under both my arms under his armpits, and I I I had to hold my hands together, and I'm walking with him. We're we're both sort of wobbling to his to his bedroom, but he had no strength, he had no he had he had no energy, and so he's bumping into walls, and I'm I'm holding him. We don't have a very long hallway, it's maybe like 15 metres, 10 metres, and we're walking side to side and he's bumping, and it got to the point probably five metres before his bedroom. I literally had to drag my brother from a stand-up position to his bedroom. Um so I'm taking him to his room and I'm I'm blowing my eyes out on his on his back because I got my head over his over his back while I'm trying to drag him to his room, and I'm I'm I'm crying everywhere. I sit him on his bed and his eyes are just sort of closing up. And we had the palliative team out team come out a few times every second day just to give meds and pain management. I walk into the family room and I called my dad because he was at the shops and he was getting scripts for my brother. And I said, Dad, we've got to call the team like we have to, like he's I don't think he's gonna make it. And um, they come out and they're the most like beautiful nurses. They they that they had watched Brett's story, and they had said that we had watched Brett's story, and so it was hard for them because they've now witnessed the person they've been following, you know, decline, and you know, they're big fans of Brett. And so they had to call an ambulance and they went out to um Wedgetower Retreat, which is a beautiful place in Bullombar, where they they take people you know who are you know are coming towards the end of their days where they just look after them. It's a beautiful place, it's just like home. Yeah, they've got all the food, it's it's it's honestly lovely. And um I I sat in the ambulance with Brett and because they said, Does anyone want to come in the ambulance? And I I said straight away, yep, I'll do it. And I I I held Brett's hand, and that that moment from when I carried him into his room to the ambulance, which was maybe two-hour gap, his whole body just declined even further. You couldn't talk to him, his eyes were like halfway open, like he was essentially dead, and I'm holding his hand, and um I'm um I'm holding his hand. And um, you know, I'm telling him, Oh, I love you, man. I love ya. And um we got to the place, um, nice um like ambulance. They were they were they were lovely. There was a w a woman and a man, and they um they put Brett on a stretcher bed, put him into this in this room, and they had to sort of lift up his body, and then they dropped him slowly into this um uh onto the bed and they looked after him and uh and then they left and then the the nurses from that palliative care team uh not the sorry uh the people in that wedge tower retreat, the the nurses that are like 24-7 looked after him and um we ended up leaving and uh I said I'll be back, I'll be back later, Brett. I'll I'll get you some I'll get some clothes. And um I went back home, his girlfriend ended up coming down, and then we went back there again. And um this is literally like this is sort of this is the end, you know, where I'm sitting in the room and um I said I love you man, I love you. And he's he sort of whisp he just whispers, he's like, Can can everyone get out of the room, basically? And we're just like, Okay, we'll give you space. So we we go in the f we go in the in the family room in this uh at this retreat place. We I make a cup of tea, we sit down and we go back in the room. And um there's my mum, there's his girlfriend, and myself, and we're there. And um uh and then I called dad, I'm like, oh dad, can you can you come? I don't think he's gonna make it. And so um make it to tonight, I mean, because it was probably four in the afternoon or or uh yeah, no, sorry, it would have been about two in the afternoon. And I said to dad, you've got to come back, I don't think he's gonna make it this afternoon. And so um I'm on the phone at dad, and literally, like um Rihanna, his girlfriend, comes out, and at this stage, Brett, his eyes were closed, like he couldn't even, he was he was 90% gone. It was it wasn't the the drug increase, it was just his body shutting down. And I walk into the room and it was literally like he was possessed, and it this is it will it will forever scar me. His eyes had lit up, like he was possessed. It went from his eyes being shut almost completely to walking into a room, his eyes were lit up, like he like God, like like he was possessed, and he's doing the head tilts, he's got he's got his his head's tilting left to right, left to right, his arms are just doing dinosaur arms, they're they're you know, he's almost having like a seizure, but he's possessed, and you know, and I I uh mum ends up yelling out to one of the nurses, and the nurse comes in and I said, What's happening? Can he not breathe? Because he's making these grunting noises, and he's you know, the nurse looked at me and she said, It's his time, he's coming to an end. And and um I mum's holding his um right hand and I'm holding his left and I've got my hand like I'm holding his hand, and um I keep telling him I love you man, like love you and he um that was it, he um he took his last breath and yeah, you could just I even you know I told him like squeeze my hand if you can hear me and that was it This is this is the thing a lot of people when you when you tell people um I watched my brother like pass away I don't think a lot of people know what that actually means. I don't think they do. I watched my brother literally leave this world and I was with him for 40 minutes after he passed, and I'm literally holding his hand, yeah. And a man that I you know I essentially came into this world with is now leaving, and um I'm kissing him on the forehead and he's he's cold, he's he's so cold, and um his girlfriend's next to me. And you know, that was I I I say to my parents and I say to my to Rihanna, I I call her Ree, I said um I don't think at any point he felt alone. I don't think at any point I think he felt that slight bit uh comfortable because he knew that he had everyone that loved him in that room. You know, he had his beautiful girlfriend that helped him through day one. He had he had his he had his brother, he had his he had his parents, he had everyone that loved him there.

SPEAKER_03

And um he felt comfortable enough that it was to go.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, yeah, it was it was the hardest thing in the world. You it it's and that that's the thing I wish a lot of men spike up about because um if you got lumps and bumps, you know, get checked. You know, it's it's it's this day and age, you know. Stop thinking that you're you're six foot and you're bulletproof. Stop thinking that it's you know it's not gonna happen to you, because man, it happened to my brother. And I th I was literally one of those people that said, This isn't gonna happen to me. Oh I've I've heard about cancer a thousand times, but it's not gonna happen to me, and it did. You know, I lost I lost my best friend, and um, because of that mentality of um, you know, oh I've got I've got a bit of back pain, or I've got a bit of a lump, you know, I'll just ignore it. You know, it could be cancer and it could take up your own your whole life. And um that's that's the thing. Even through this whole process of grief and all that, Brett and I even spoke about it. A lot of his friends that were close with him weren't really that close. And this is the hardest thing about grief is you're gonna go through days where you're so mentally broken and you're upset and you just want support from the people that say that they're close with you. And I've I won't say I've lost friends, but I've I've just I've lost respect for a lot of my friends because they've said that they've they're they're they're gonna be there for me, but they ha they haven't. They'll they'll say that I'm thinking of you, I'm I'm but they're not, you know. I thought I had six friends I could call them one hand, but I've only it's it's I've only got two. Yeah, I mean it's um you gotta you gotta support each other, you know, you really do. You you if you're gonna stay, you're gonna be there, you've got to be there.

SPEAKER_03

Um because you never know how dark someone is or how what the places they're going to.

SPEAKER_05

And that's what I mean. You know, I um I said to my brother, and this is this is the thing in this day and age, because it's it it's it's the stress from from life. It's the you know the stress of losing a brother. I um I made a promise to my brother on um he passed away on the Tuesday. I made a promise to him on the on the on the Saturday. Um I said to him, You better not have any regrets, and he said, No, I don't. And I said, that's good. And I said, Look, I'm gonna make you a promise. And um he said, What's that? I said, Um I'm gonna promise you that your baby brother's gonna be okay. I promise you that. Um like I'm not gonna do any like reckless behavior, I'm not gonna do anything that's gonna make you concerned or worried. Um I said to him, your baby brother's gonna be okay. I promise you that. I I made that promise because us as men, it's it's hard to speak up. And I I I believe that if I didn't make that promise, I don't know, I don't know what sort of would have happened. I just know that um I made that promise because I knew I wouldn't I don't want to let him down. And I made that promise because I knew that if I did, he'd be he'd be he'd be helping me the whole way um through this whole process.

SPEAKER_03

And I think together as a collective, you guys I don't think you realize the reach that you two as brothers and you carrying on Brett's legacy, the impact that can have. And I mean, if this conversation today can have one guy, one husband, one boyfriend, one brother go, oh, all right, yeah, I probably should go get that checked, and book the GP appointment the day after this comes out, you've done it. Yeah, exactly. It's just one person because Brett was only one person and that one person was your world. So we have to all be looking out for each other, and especially as mates. I mean, how would you say that as men, you guys can open up a bit more of the dialogue so that there is there isn't the shame to speak about it or say, hey mate, I've got this lump. Like, what do you reckon it could be? Should I go to the doctor? How do men start opening up these channels and feel comfortable enough? It's enough easy enough for us to say as women. That's why I want to ask.

SPEAKER_05

I don't know. Like I I too was a a lot like it back in the day, you know. I I thought I'll I'll toughen it out, but it's it it's a different day and age. It it's it's different nowadays. There's a lot more stress on men. It it's not um uh there's a a lot more, you know, rates of depression, anxiety that's going around in the world. And I I think what changed my mind was realizing that was realizing that I've got friends that have hit you know pretty dark places, and the way I speak to them and the way I speak to people on the internet is a lot like how I would want to speak to myself when in times of hardship, you know. I'd want to tell myself, hey, you you're gonna be okay, you know. I'm I'm here for you, you know, I love you. I I think as men is is the most the most strongest important message is knowing that you are you you you everyone wants you to win. At times you're gonna think that you're losing, you're having bad days, but I I I I guarantee you there's there's there's so many people that are cheering you on. And if you can just realize that and stop getting in your own head of of thinking I can't talk to someone, I can't do this, it it's not weak to speak. It's it's not. My brother told a story because he realized it's not weak to speak, you know. His mentality at first was I'm staunch and I'm tough and I'm this and I'm that, but he cracked. He finally realized that it's not weak to speak, and I can speak out. And I think as as men, you we've got to. We've we you've got to support your friends. If you're gonna say you you'll be there, you have to be there. You know, I think it's an ob I think it's an obligation as men that we have for each other to look out for one another. It it's it let's get rid of this whole man up bullshit. Let's let's actually look out for each other. That mentality doesn't do anything, maybe back in the 1900s, but this this day and age is different.

SPEAKER_03

I think that perfectly segues into Brett's legacy that you're carrying on and the videos that you've been putting out. I I'm gonna butcher it, but I think it's I've saved you a seat and you have a glass of water and stuff there for people.

SPEAKER_06

And yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03

I I mean that movement is just incredible, and I'm sure that's part of Brett's legacy as well. So could you kind of explain to us what you want Brett to be remembered as?

SPEAKER_05

I want people to I want him to be remembered as a person that never gave up. I always I always tell people the only reason you know he's not here today was because his body just couldn't handle it. But if you if you were if you could somehow take his brain and and you know keep that from living, he would still be here. He that mentality of I'm never giving up, I'm gonna keep fighting. He he like I want him to be remembered as a person that fought against something that is so bloody deadly, yet he stood fearless, he stood strong. I I got a tattoo for him, the strongest warrior against life. Because that's that's I I saw him as that. He really was. He didn't he didn't you know back down, he was like he had moments of low, but he just yeah, I wanted I wanted to be remembered as a person that fought hard, never gave up, and I'd like people to remember that message of um knowing that whatever you're going through, like I don't know your story, but you know mine, and you know my brothers. So if you can use that as motivation to realise that you are worth so much more than you think, and you are a fighter, um, I think that's I think that's the important message.

SPEAKER_03

Wow, isn't that powerful? Tell you what you guys are so lucky to have had each other, and yeah, how blessed that you guys got to go all the way to the end together and you didn't waver him, you never failed him.

SPEAKER_05

And that's and that's the thing. Like I um I told him like day one of his diagnosis, I'll be with you to the to the very end. And for a lot of people that don't know that line, that line is out of the Captain America movie where he says Bucky, I'll be with you to the end of the line. I said that to Brett because I knew that this that mentality of like, okay, in the movie they go to war. And it was very much like that. Brett was going to war, he was gonna he was gonna fight this, and he wasn't never gonna give up. And I said that to him, I'll be with you to the very end, and um to the end of the line. And I I said that to him literally when he passed away, I held his hand, I said, Man, I'm with you to the end of the line. And I I was, and that I I I came at peace because that was my promise. I I made that promise a lot that I'll be with you, you know, you won't be alone, you know. You didn't pass away at 3 a.m. in the morning when no one was in the room, you had everyone there, you you were loved, you were cared for, you had yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, you're amazing, Adam, honestly. Oh, what an incredible, incredible conversation.

SPEAKER_03

And thank you from the bottom of our hearts for coming on and sharing. Yeah, and just being open and being vulnerable because I think it um you can help a lot of people, and you already have helped a lot of people, and especially men.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah. Thank you. I I appreciate it. It's um it means the world. It means the world to to share a story and to hope that you know I can I can help change someone else's life in in a positive way. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05

It's um yeah, it's it's it's it again, it's it's one of those things. It's um grief is a very hard thing. It it takes time, it takes um a lot of things, and you need to have people that support you and and especially as men. Like I I found that through this process, it was if it wasn't because of men, it was it was it was also women. Like um, I met I met a wonderful lady that's her name's Maddie, and she helped me through this process, and it it's it's it's that. Men also do need um uh encouragement from women, even though it's men's battles and men help men, it it's don't think you're alone. Try and get as much water as you can.

SPEAKER_03

I need a tissue and a glass of water because oh my goodness. But um, on behalf of Dakota and I, thank you from the bottom of our hearts, and we really hope that we can continue to share Brett's legacy because fuck, he's a good bloke.

SPEAKER_05

Thank you guys. Thank you guys, I appreciate it a lot. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01

Thank you so much, Adam.