SENIOR PRIMETIME PODCAST-In Home Care Challenges-for Seniors & Their Families-What You Need to Know

SENIOR PRIMETIME-In Home Care Challenges-for Seniors & Their Families-What You Need to Know

Welcome to **Senior Prime Time**, your essential resource for navigating the "Third Act" of life with dignity, intention, and peace of mind. 

Hosted by Bonnie Keith, this channel is dedicated to transforming how families approach the complexities of aging, moving you from "crisis management" to "thoughtful planning". In this episode, we are joined by two leading experts in the field: **Robel Gugsa**, a home care specialist focused on helping seniors maintain independence, and **Elana Foxx**, founder of **Silver Fox Golden Years Insurance** and an expert in Long-Term Care (LTC) insurance. Together, they provide a roadmap for families to ensure their loved ones are supported physically, emotionally, and financially.

 Navigating In-Home Senior Care: Planning, Benefits, and Myths Aging isn't just a challenge to be managed; it’s a chapter of life to be embraced with dignity. But how do you ensure your loved ones (or you!) can stay at home safely without the emotional and financial strain of a crisis? 

In this episode of Senior PrimeTime, host Bonnie Keith sits down with experts Elana Foxx and Robel Gugsa to pull back the curtain on the world of in-home care and long-term care insurance (LTCi). Whether you are currently navigating a family emergency or wisely planning for the future, this conversation provides the roadmap you need to protect your family's independence. 

In This Episode, You’ll Learn: The Clarity Factor: The vital differences between "home care" and "home health" services. Insurance Simplified: How long-term care insurance actually works, the shift from traditional to hybrid plans, and what "ADLs" mean for your coverage.

 The Timing Myth: Why waiting until a crisis is the most expensive mistake you can make (and the "sweet spot" age to start planning). Safety & Trust: The legal risks of private hiring versus the security of vetted agencies. Emotional Resilience: Practical tips for breaking through denial and starting those "tough" dinner table conversations with love and intention. 

 Conclusion & Next Steps Resources & Links:

  https://www.foundationforseniorservices.org 

Connect with Our Experts: Find them both at: www.foundationforseniorservices.org 

Enjoyed this episode? Make sure to Subscribe to Senior PrimeTime for more insights on aging with grace and strategy.

 If this helped you, please give us a Like and share it with a friend who might be navigating these decisions! 

#SeniorCare #LongTermCare #AgingInPlace #SeniorPrimeTime #InHomeCare #FinancialPlanning #Caregiving #BonnieKeith**

 **Subscribe to Senior Prime Time** today to learn how to protect your dignity and ensure your best chapter is yet to come. Because aging isn't a problem to be solved—it's a reality to plan for with love and intention.

Senior PrimeTime is brought to you by the Foundation for Senior Services and hosted by Bonnie Keith.
Each episode features conversations that help seniors and their families live with purpose, vitality, and confidence in Act Three.

Follow the show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, iHeartRadio, or YouTube Music so you never miss an episode.

Learn more:
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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:03

Welcome to Senior Primetime, where real people and real conversations come together. Hi, I'm Bonnie Keith, Creative Visual Director, Industry Veteran, and your host of Senior Primetime. This podcast is brought to you by the Foundation for Senior Services. Today we're talking about something that impacts so many families: the challenges of in-home care for seniors and their loved ones. Joining us today are Robel Goosa, a home care expert with Comfort Care, and Ilana Fox, a specialist in long-term care insurance. Together, they bring real-world insight and experience to help you better understand your options, plan ahead, and make informed decisions for yourself or those you care about. And with that, let's get started. Robelle Ilana, welcome to Senior Primetime, and thank you so much for joining the conversation today. We are diving into a very important topic: the challenge of in-home care for seniors and their families. So to get us started, I'd like briefly for each one of you to just share a little bit about yourselves and your work so our listeners can understand the expertise that each of you bring to this conversation. Alana, would you like to start?

SPEAKER_02 1:38

Sure. Thank you, Bonnie. I've had several careers before I ended up in long-term care. So this became my passion. I started out as a school teacher, a computer analyst, taught computer software. When my mother purchased her own long-term care insurance plan, I realized that that was the best gift I could receive. Now, a good gift for the family, but me personally, as the oldest daughter, the one that lived close to her, it changed my whole world, knowing that she had done so. And I had never heard of long-term care insurance. So I dove into it, and it's been my passion for the last 25 years. Okay, thank you.

SPEAKER_01 2:23

Awesome. And Rebel.

SPEAKER_00 2:26

Thank you, uh, Bonnie, for for having us, and uh and I appreciate the foundation uh inviting us to uh to join uh uh Ilana today on this discussion. Uh yeah, so for me, I wasn't banking uh technology engineering background, but uh around uh the time of COVID, I realized that I was uh burning the candle on both ends with respect to work, and and I was also at the same time realizing that my kids who were in middle school, I felt that time was passing by and I wasn't spending enough time. And uh at that point in time I decided to leave what I was doing previously and really focus on family and time, and I wanted to switch into doing something that truly had uh uh an impact and and and where I could make a difference in people's lives. And so I decided to pivot and go into home care, and it's been uh a wonderful journey ever since.

SPEAKER_01 3:21

Wonderful. Well, thank you for that. So, Rebel, what actually is home care and how does it differ from home health? And how do you typically pay for these services, which will also get into Ilana helping us out there? So, Rebel, take it away.

SPEAKER_00 3:37

Sure. So uh those those two terms, home care and home health, often get used interchangeably, um, and and most of the time, but they actually mean uh two different things. So home health is the medical care that's delivered at home. It's you know, again, we're talking about skilled nursing, uh things like physical therapy, occupational therapy, wound care. These are services that are uh traditionally ordered by a physician and and typically tied to a specific uh uh medical event. And it's clinical in nature and uh it's task-based and time limited, and uh it's usually covered by Medicare and health insurance. On the other hand, home care is a bit different. It's personal care, it's non-medical. It's a type of support that helps someone, what we call with their activities of daily living, things such as bathing, dressing, meal preparation, medication reminders, companionship, and transportation. So it's non-medical, uh, but it's one of those essential things for those who continue, want to, you know, be able to stay at home and be able to function independently as much as possible. So that's the other important uh you know distinction between both of them is that on the home health, the skill nursing side, it tends to be short term, right? Once you recover from your surgery or you complete your physical therapy, occupational therapy, the visit ends. On the other hand, home care is ongoing, right? Depending on your need. It grows with a person's need over time, and sometimes it could be weeks or months or years. And so, with your question regarding in terms of how families pay for it, this is where I think a lot of people get surprised because home care is largely uh private pay, uh, meaning that families pay out of pocket, Medicare does not cover it, traditional health care does not cover it, but what does cover it is long-term care insurance. And uh that's exactly what uh, you know, my my friend Elena Fox really helps families plan for, especially it's designed to cover the type of home care services we're talking about. And beyond that, families use you know, personal savings, veteran benefits, and other creative solutions that I think uh Elena could probably share with us here.

SPEAKER_01 5:51

Wow. Well, thank you. That even cleared it up for me, and I've experienced a lot of that. But wonderful, Rubel, thank you. And Ilana, I know you're now going to help expand on this. So, but first of all, what exactly is long-term care insurance, LTC, and what are some of the different products, like traditional policies, hybrids that families should know about? These are all even new terms for me. So help explain, please.

SPEAKER_02 6:17

Okay, my pleasure. Thanks for asking. Long-term care. You said it right, long term of care. Which a long term is 90 days or more. That doesn't mean 90 days has had to already occur, but your uh physician, your licensed practitioner knows that in 90 days, most likely you will not recover and be independent. Okay. So, for example, you broke your wrist, it's gonna take six weeks. That's not long-term care. You broke your back, it's gonna take four months, that's long-term care. So, what is it that you need? Let let's compare it to when we had our our children, they're cute. They they believe it or not, were in long-term care. We don't think of it, we just think they're a cute little baby in the you know, coming home, and we need to take care of them. But they're actually long-term care. For 90 days or more, they are not independent. Uh, what you need to do, they wake up in the morning, you need to transfer them. Then you need to help them toilet, change a diaper, maybe when they're a little bit older, get to the bathroom, depending where that baby's at. Then you're gonna draft bathe them so they're clean to start their day, and you're gonna dress them. You might have to feed them. Some of them might want to feed themselves, okay. But at the beginning, they need to be fed. And then they remain incontinent until they learn how to control. And aside from that, so if two of those activities of just starting your day need assistance for more than 90 days, you're in a long-term care situation.

SPEAKER_01 8:02

So, so if I can just interrupt for a second. So, this what you're talking about with the babies is ADLs, which is activities of daily living. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 8:12

Now there's a second one called I ADL, which is instrumental activities of daily living.

SPEAKER_02 8:20

Instrumental. Cognitive impairment. Um the baby cannot make a smart decision to have a safe day. When a person goes through dementia or has had a stroke or isn't functioning right, can't take their medicines correctly, walks out the front door, does not know how to come back, cooks a meal, forgets to leave the burner is on, their day is in danger. So, separate from the hands-on that I did when we were holding and taking care of the baby, the cognitive impairment is a standby companion to make sure you have a safe day.

SPEAKER_01 8:59

Ah, okay.

SPEAKER_02 9:01

So that's all on its own, or you have two out of the six ADLs. Now, how do people manage taking care of someone? You could have your children take care of you. I mean, we took care of them. So if you're happy with the idea of your kid taking you in and out of the shower in the toilet, and the family is willing to do that, um, and your children don't have any other obligation, there you go. That's your answer. But as you mentioned before, we don't have health insurance or Medicare. They do not help with long-term care.

SPEAKER_01 9:43

Which is so ridiculous. But we won't get into that. That's a topic for another conversation. Right. And and Rebel, research shows that seniors who stay at home are often happier and recover faster from some of their illnesses. So, in your experience, what makes that biggest difference in maintaining that independence?

SPEAKER_00 10:05

It comes down to, I think, one familiarity, right? When a senior is in their own home, they're surrounded by everything that makes them feel like themselves, right? It's their routines, it's their space, their memories, and you know, that sense of belonging has some form of a genuine impact on both the mental and the physical. Um, and and as you said, you know, research certainly confirms that. But besides just the familiarity, I think the next piece is really that the difference is having the right also support in place. When you have a family member that's providing the caregiving, whether it's uh, you know, a spouse, children, or even a hired caregiver, uh, you know, present every day. They show up consistently, it builds a real relationship, providing the connection and the companionship. And so that the person who is receiving the care uh doesn't just feel safe, but they also feel seen and supported. And that emotional dimension, I think, matters sometimes even just as much as the physical oneness. So the combination of familiarity, which is a physical piece, and the emotional, which is feeling seen and supported, I think can change the trajectory of someone's health and recovery.

SPEAKER_01 11:16

Yeah, just the fact that they're around familiar surroundings too. Um I know that throws a lot of people off when they're in a kind of a foreign, foreign place.

SPEAKER_00 11:25

Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 11:26

But families worry that I I can't afford this. So that that financial burden of chronic illness, which can take a long time. So, how does a long-term care policy specifically help reimburse some of these daily activities? Alana?

SPEAKER_02 11:43

Well, there's several ways. It all depends. So it depends on what kind of plan you create. And it's kind of like saying, I need a car. But you get to customize your car, you get to customize your car. You know, do you want a fancy, schmancy car? Do you want rolled-down windows, automatic windows, you know, do you you want surround sound? I mean, what do you want? Right. So the purpose of long-term care insurance is to accomplish your personal goal when you speak with the long-term care specialists, they tell you what's available, and then you customize it. So nobody can say how much a long-term care insurance costs. It's all going to be on do you have nice hubcaps? Do you have roll-down windows? What do you want? Do you want it to last for at least a few years to get the family through the transition? Is there longevity with dementia in your family? Is that your concern? You could make it, I'll call it short and fat with a lot to cover you, or you can make it thin and long, a little bit coming in for as long as you need it. You can also make it so that if you don't, if you're lucky enough not to need care, it becomes a, I will call it, they call it a death benefit, but I will just call it a return of premium. Basically, it returns the amount of money you have already spent on this protection for your family. Oh, that's awesome tool. There's so many different ways of doing it now. There's so many different ways.

SPEAKER_01 13:24

I didn't even realize that. Um, because I think uh people knew that, then they're not thinking I'm just throwing it away if I don't need it.

SPEAKER_02 13:31

Yeah, no, no, it's not like fire insurance. I mean, you're so happy your car your house doesn't burn down, but you don't get anything back. So, you know, you could be happy. The tradition the old long-term care insurance is the traditional where if I don't need it, it's gone. But it's evolved.

unknown 13:49

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 13:49

It's a high it's called a hybrid. And and Bonnie, I want to say you talk about chronic care. There's a difference between chronic care and long-term care. Okay. Okay. Chronic care means you're not going to recover. Long-term care, you can use it for a long term of care, recover, and then need it again in the future. There are many pla instances where like Rebel will, I'm sure, is familiar with where somebody falls down, they can't transfer, they need care in their home, they've regained their strength, they don't need rebel services anymore. But eventually, down the line, as we age, we get weaker.

SPEAKER_01 14:36

This is fascinating, you guys. I didn't know all this stuff. This is great. I want to know.

SPEAKER_02 14:43

Yeah, but it's becoming our norm. I mean, science is keeping us alive. And so this is a a new this is a paradigm shift in what people have to think about.

SPEAKER_00 14:53

And to Ilana's point, we are definitely living longer. I think the statistics now say that anyone who reaches age 65 can expect to live uh 21.9 years. Um and uh that's never been the case. And uh, you know, that is certainly bringing discussions around, as Ilana said, you know, what long-term care looks like.

SPEAKER_01 15:15

So since people are living longer and and everybody doesn't want to think of the inevitable rebel, um what why don't people try to protect themselves before they fall down, before the crisis hits, before the illness happens? Why does that happen? And what does it ultimately then cost them in terms of everything? You take it from there. This is a big one.

SPEAKER_00 15:40

Right. Uh I I mean, I I hate to say it, but I I I think it's really a combination of of uh some form of a uh uh a denial and and hope. You know, nobody obviously wants to uh believe that you know their parent is uh slowing down or declining uh or or their spouse is struggling in in in ways that you know they can't fix on their own. So what happens, right? And families simply wait, right? Uh they tell themselves maybe it's just a phase, um, or maybe it'll stabilize over a period of time and and they'll figure it out when it comes or when it materializes down the road. But the problem is that sometimes times comes faster than anyone expects it, right? And usually that happens in a in a worst way, like there's a fall or there's a hospitalization, you know, at a moment where that the family is suddenly making those major decisions under enormous pressure. And so, and I often see that where you know they're exhausted and almost always show up without a plan, right? And so, to your question about what does it cost them, you know, it's not just about money. Obviously, that is, you know, it has some financial impact, right? Especially when it becomes a crisis-driven decision. But also the other cost is lack of optionality, right? You don't have the time to discuss and think about what are my options, right? Versus if you were to plan ahead, you have the ability to make choices, right? You could take the time to find, you know, who are the who's the right caregiver? Is it a family member or is it an agency? What is the right agency? What's the right fit for my loved ones? Your loved ones are also involved in that decision making and the options that are available to them in terms of, like I said, the type of agencies that are going to be in play, or or a family member who's gonna be helping and uh what's available to you. So when you make those decisions, uh you might not make them. Sometimes when you're in a hurry, you might not make them with the person that you're trying to help in the process. So the cost of the family uh as a caregiver or a daughter who's been managing everything on their own, or a spouse who hasn't slept in a month because they're they're providing the care. Um, and and when they call us, they're often running on fumes. And uh, and the hardest part is knowing that if they did just a little bit of an earning planning could have made a huge impact and uh and and made it you know lighter on on everyone.

unknown 18:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 18:05

So to answer, to add to Robot Robot said you said why. We're a society that wants to be young. We look at, no, no, we seriously, it's so sad. We look at youth and maintaining, you know, no wrinkles and being strong and being independent, right? So it's not we don't revere older people, we don't look at it as older people, we really don't, which is so sad. We really don't. We don't look at it. So we avoid it instead of prepare for it. It's not pretty. When the baby comes, that's all exciting. I mean, people are giving nurses, you know, let you know, the mother needs help with the baby, and our nurse is tired, and and it's joyful. When people age, we really don't celebrate it and that part of life. So I I don't know, I think it's a paradigm shift. And and like when my mother, like I said, all those years ago, I had no idea what she was talking about. I had no idea. And you can't be a loving family if you're wiped out, you can't be a loving parent if you're wiped out. It's really hard to take care of that baby if you're up all night. So there are lots of ways now, because people are living long. Long-term care insurance is a way to prepare yourself, just like health insurance. We get health insurance not because of the doctor. We get health insurance for the big catastrophic event. Right. Right? Right. So because we're living so long, long-term care insurance is such an important component of preparing.

SPEAKER_01 19:54

And if if you do wait for that crisis moment to hit, then you have less options with, I mean, you can't just say, okay, give me that long-term insurance now. I'll I'll take it now.

SPEAKER_02 20:04

You can't. It's like saying I want car insurance to fix the bumper that I crashed into last week.

SPEAKER_01 20:09

Right, right. Okay. Whoa. This is yeah, almost scary, but this is good, this is good stuff. People need to know this. So, Rebel, what is the number one thing families get wrong when they start looking for home care?

SPEAKER_00 20:25

I I think the the the first thing is that uh they spend a lot of time price shopping instead of instead of what is the right fit, right? But the question is almost always, you know, how much does it cost? And and I get that, which is important. But and and and don't get me wrong, care is expensive and families are trying to figure out what's manageable, you know, when when cost becomes, you know, in my opinion, when cost becomes the only filter with which you're looking at things, you end up with a situation that may not be right match for for your loved one, um, and and it can create its own set of problems, right? So the relationship between, for example, a caregiver or an agency that you hire and a client uh and your client could be a very intimate one. You're sending someone in a person's home who needs help with the most personal aspects of their life. And if that personality and the agency and the relationship and the level of care and the quality of care, the trust, if all of that isn't right, then it doesn't work regardless of how you may think affordable it is if you're just simply looking at it from a price perspective.

SPEAKER_01 21:31

Right. So it's not all about money, but it is, and that's where Alana also comes in. Right. Ilana, what's the biggest misconception that seniors have regarding how long term care insurance works with the home care providers? That's a really good question, Bonnie.

SPEAKER_02 21:46

The misconception of how they work together.

SPEAKER_00 21:50

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 21:51

I think it's pr actually, I think it's pretty straightforward. You have long term care insurance, it's gonna take care of. Of your needs with somebody like myself, I can help you or Rebelle, we can help you not have to pay the home care agency. We could actually have the insurance company pay directly to the home care agency. So it makes it seamless for the family. I think they do not understand that we can set it up that way. Um, and there's different ways of long-term care insurance too. Some of it is reimbursement and some of it is just cash that you're promised every month. It just depends what you've created ahead of time. But it could be a very seamless, easy approach. Okay, good.

SPEAKER_01 22:41

That's what we want. Seamless and easy. Yes. That's fantastic. So, Rebel, walk us through the decision between hiring a home care agency. And a lot of people say, oh, I'll just find, I'll go on Craigslist or something and find hire somebody privately. So what would most people not know going into that choice? What should they be aware of?

SPEAKER_00 23:00

All right. So this is a this is a tough one because this is probably one of the most important decisions a family will need to make. And unfortunately, most don't fully understand, to your point, uh the implications of it. And so on the surface, hiring someone privately looks attractive. You're definitely paying, I'll admit to that, paying a lot less. Um and you're per you're paying a person that you've brought on board directly. Uh, and and as I said, you know, the cost is lower, it feels a little bit more personal. But what families don't realize is that the moment you hire, especially here in California with labor laws, an independent caregiver, they become, you become an employer, right? They become your employee. And with that comes a whole set of responsibilities, and and most families are completely unprepared for, which is, you know, you pay, you have to pay payroll taxes, you have to have workers' compensation in place, liability insurance and coverage, and most importantly, in California, wage and hour compliance, right? Any caregiver that's working over nine hours for you has to be paid time and a half. Are you are you maintaining that? Are you keeping track of that? And the employment laws around domestic workers is complex and carry real consequences if they're not followed properly. And I've seen many families who have hired caregivers privately because they knew someone who happened to be a housekeeper and they hired them with a handshake, and you know, they're working 10, 12, 13 hours, and all of a sudden the caregiver realizes or finds out that you know you're not adhering to wage and hour rules, and now you're facing a liability or you get sued for those hours that they weren't paid, right? And that could be devastating for many families who are on a fixed income, right? My goodness. Aside from that, what happens when that caregiver calls out sick or they go on vacation?

SPEAKER_02 24:53

There are so many things, Rebelle. I mean, you're in it, and so it sounds like these are your, you know, why is it important to have you? I'll tell you why it's important to have you. It's important to have you because you've bonded, you've vetted that individual. Exactly. You've run a background check on them. And if there's any mishap, you're taking your agency taking responsibility. And yes, if they call in sick, you'll have somebody there. You'll make sure that person isn't. If they steal, right? If they I mean they've had, if they're a sex offender. I mean, you don't know, but you've done all of this to make sure that there are that they are a vetted person walking into the home of your client.

SPEAKER_00 25:46

And and to your point, when we say vetted, it's not just I'm calling a few friends to say, is this person good? No, we're actually doing, as Yolana pointed out, background check with the FBI, the Department of Justice, we do the fingerprinting, we we we check their driver's license, right? And so you're hiring someone vaccinations, vaccinations, CPR training, right? TB tests. So all of that is important. And when we're sending someone, we're 100% responsible for that caregiver. You're not, you can rest assured that whoever we're sending is someone who's thoroughly vetted.

SPEAKER_02 26:20

You wouldn't go into an assisted living facility and have an unknown person go in there and take care of it.

SPEAKER_00 26:25

To Ilana's point, you're hiring a system of support that stands behind the caregiver every single day.

SPEAKER_01 26:30

Is there a difference between how you would guide families who are already like in a crisis situation versus those who are planning ahead? I don't think there's a comparison.

SPEAKER_02 26:40

There's no comparison. When you have something in advance, the family knows, the children knows, the children has a point of contact. The children knows there's going to be a concierge service coming in. They're not doing this by themselves. When you don't have a plan, you start asking members of the family and you panic and you make you make decisions based on urgency, not thoughtfulness on also, if this is my plan, that means I've conveyed to those I care about how I want it to go.

SPEAKER_01 27:18

Got it.

SPEAKER_02 27:18

Whereas when it's a crisis, they're going to take care of it. It's not going to be my wish. Right. And then then you have multiple, then you have siblings, and then you have slipp sibling spouses, and then you have inheritance issues. There's lots of different things that go into a a crisis approach.

SPEAKER_01 27:37

So what is then the ideal age or or stage of life for people to start discussing their long-term care insurance needs? I think you're when you're 50. 50, not before that?

SPEAKER_02 27:49

I bought mine in my late 40s. Okay. So I but some people say they're too busy. They're too busy raising their kids, they're going to, you know, they're preparing college. They don't know how to. But I think if you go past 50, you might miss the window of your best health. Okay. Also, if you go when you're 50 or younger, you don't have to keep paying till you need it. You could do a single pay, you could do a 10 pay, you could do a 20 pay. You can have it over and done. You could write it out of your business, but you're going to be the youngest and the healthiest you are. And in a way, I get we I get lots of phone calls from people in their 70s. Really? And the choices are very limited.

SPEAKER_01 28:32

Yes, I would imagine.

SPEAKER_02 28:33

And expensive. And it that's it.

SPEAKER_01 28:36

Yeah, both. Limited and expensive. So you don't want that. Everybody get get a dinner. Call Ilana. Rebel, what advice do you have for someone just realizing a spouse or a parent needs help? Because sometimes we realize it's before they do, or the rest of the world. Because I had this happen with my husband where I knew something was going on with him and nobody else, oh, he's fine. He's fine. No, no. What's the difference between families who had a plan versus those who didn't? At the time I didn't have a plan, but I had to get a plan. And it was, oh my God, the stress and the what I went through. I don't want anybody else to go through. So help people so they don't have to have happen what happened with me.

SPEAKER_00 29:15

Well, I I I mean, Bun, I mean, I think you said it. I mean, uh, don't wait for certainty, right? You know, most families hold off because you're not sure if things are really bad enough yet, right? Yep. You're looking for that clear, definitive moment when when when you think they need help, right? Um, and by the time that moment arrives, it may be a little late or you may have lost time. And also you lose optionality, right? Your ability to pick and choose and do the things the right way. So noticing those changes, um, you know, behaviors, and how does your parent or your spouse uh you know move throughout the day? And if you see things that are no longer what they used to be, trust your instinct, right? Trust it that things are changing, things are declining, and you want to intervene at that time. And when I say intervene, it's not about a lot of times people think it's about taking independence. It's not that. I think you want to have the conversation early, even if it feels somewhat premature, just it's about discussing and exploring your options before you need them, right? Um, and and and when the event happens, you're you're arriving at that point with some sense of calmness and and confidence that you're making the right decision, right? And and the biggest difference I see or I notice between those who have planned and those that don't, sometimes it's not just the financial, although that matters, it's also the emotional piece, right? And families who've planned have processed it. Sometimes it may be hard, but at least they've processed it and they've had the conversation. They make the decisions together, and when the time comes, uh you know, they're ready for it. Of course, it may be sad and maybe challenging, but they're not panicked about the whole situation, right?

SPEAKER_01 30:53

So let me let me just ask you this uh because this this happened to me when when I was the one who was going to something wrong with my husband. It wasn't just the rest of the world that thought he's fine because he was playing that he's fine. Um, he was in denial. He didn't even want to go see a neurologist.

SPEAKER_00 31:08

So a lot of times that, and and I've I see that with my own family, with my own mom, right? And and my mother-in-law, it's there's this sense of denial, especially when it's a family member, right? Because I feel like they don't want to admit to a family member that that they do see those things declining because I think maybe it's out of love, out of care, or not seeing uh them anything less than, right? And so when you bring in a neutral third party who's truly communicating what you're what they're seeing, right? I think that changes. And and a lot of times I have families or a daughter or a son who calls and said, you know, oh, she's not going to listen to you. And we're like, well, let's send our care manager to come in and have that conversation, right? And sometimes we have that conversation independently one-on-one without the the adult kids being there. And and you'll be surprised in how open people are and discussing their needs.

SPEAKER_02 32:03

Nobody wants to say they're losing their independence, nobody wants to say they're they're they're losing control. Nobody wants to say that. I think it it's just having the family open to the fact that this is where we all go. This is how we all that last chapter of our life. Right, right. This uh making it a conversation of what if. And what I want to say is my family has had this conversation. Okay. Okay. Their father says, It's okay, don't worry about me. I don't need to make a plan. I'm gonna get on my motorcycle and I'm gonna go over the cliff. That's his approach. And when I have sat with other families, and and the wife says, We need to look at the and the and the husband says, I have a plan. It's a Smith and Weston? Yeah, yeah, okay. That's that's nice. I love that. Okay, and who's gonna help you? Oh, I won't need I have a buddy. Okay, I get these. These are people that are in denial or think they're gonna be able to make these choices. Okay, it's it's a nice fantasy, but it's also I'm sorry, it's also selfish. Very selfish. Yes, and so when I talk to a spouse who says my my partner's in denial and doesn't want help and says we're fine, rearrange it that I know how much you love me, and I'm asking you to prepare and have have help for me to care for you. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 33:58

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 33:59

So instead of saying long-term care is about you, long-term care is about those who care about you.

SPEAKER_01 34:06

That's a great thank you so much for that. That'll help a lot.

SPEAKER_02 34:10

I really don't think that motorcycle is gonna make it over the no, no, nor this man.

SPEAKER_01 34:17

No good.

SPEAKER_00 34:18

It's easier said than done, but but to Alana's point, you also want to let them know that as much as they don't want to lose independence, but the support mechanism that you want to put in place will actually allow them to extend their independence, right?

SPEAKER_01 34:32

Right, right.

SPEAKER_00 34:33

For as long as possible. And that's the piece I think a lot of times it's hard for them to grasp.

SPEAKER_01 34:38

Right. So do um either of you or both of you actually have like a client, a story of a client who, for example, having long-term insurance made such a meaningful difference and rebel that somebody that just comes to mind that you remember that getting them, you know, their in-home care service really did change their lives, at least for those years or moments, for for the better. Either one of you want to start.

SPEAKER_02 35:05

So I got a quote, crisis call in to go into a hospital where somebody was getting discharged. That's where the crisis is. All of a sudden they're being discharged. Now what happens? When the case manager, they they know I'm here to assist. There are no rebellas here to assist. When they we get the phone call, we help the family, and we say, okay, let's see, the family's getting discharged. What needs to be done in your home? What's what's secure and safe? Do you have ramps? Do you have loose rugs? Do you have we're helping the family before? I also say, do you have long-term care insurance? The difference between the family that does and doesn't is phenomenal. The one who says, No, I don't, we're gonna rearrange the monies, how much does this cost? So we need to keep it this, how I'm gonna do that. With the family that has long-term care insurance, I help them maximize the use of the long-term care insurance. So the the the the calm is completely different. The person who has the insurance usually says, I don't need that much help. And you say, Okay, that's fine. That's funny. But let's start out with a little and let's see if that works. Okay. And then they get acclimated to somebody coming in. Or it could be the other way. Let's start out with a lot of care and then we'll lower it, the amount of hours. So it just gives them, as we said before, their independence is maintained to make those decisions and rebel.

SPEAKER_00 36:51

A daughter had one time reached out, you know, very much independent. I think she was like 85 or 86, lived alone at home for for many years, managing her own life. As the daughter noticed over a period of time things were beginning to g to decline and uh and that she needed support that the family themselves couldn't provide, right? And the daughter was worried because obviously she had her own family to take care of and she was stretched thin and needed help. What was different about it is that to Ilana's point, her mother had purchased a long-term care policy many, many years ago. What was interesting is that it's as the mom said, you know, at that time, you know, she made sure she made that decision when she was healthy, but she didn't think at that time, not only did she not need it, it felt very distant and and somewhat abstract, like, what is this all about, right? And and like, you know, I'm I'm healthy, I don't need this now. But but nonetheless, she made that decision. And so when we were sitting down and talking about it, the mother actually needed that help. And the conversation was a lot easier to have, right? The gap between the type of help she needed and what she could afford was not a big gap, right? She could actually afford and and and and it was small and she could actually afford the the help. And so we weren't the conversation wasn't around like, you know, what can you afford, or maybe we could make this fit for you? No, it was just about let's sit down. What does quality care look like? How do we continue to provide the level of independence she needed? And now it was a discussion about well, how do I how do we figure out the personality of the caregiver? What's the right fit for her? How does she become more engaged? And how do you help her continue to have that level of independence? And and that's what makes long-term care insurance possible.

SPEAKER_01 38:41

Wow. So if someone is listening today and they're feeling just absolutely overwhelmed, they're in some type of a situation and they don't know what to do or who to turn to, which but it's obvious to me who to turn to. What's the first step that they should take to ensure that their loved ones live their best life possible? What's the first step that people who are listening to to this podcast right now should should do?

SPEAKER_02 39:06

Well, um, if they're in the immediate need, they reach out to Rebel. Find a solution to help right away. And some help is better than no help. Even to recharge behaviors like respite, it's respite care. Let let the family member rest when Rebel comes in and helps with his certified special his vetted uh caregivers. If you're listening to this from my and my point of view, and you're you have parents in this situation, you reach out to me to prepare yourselves so you don't put your family in that situation.

SPEAKER_00 39:54

And rebel. I think the first step, uh someone who's overwhelmed by the transition is is the hardest piece, which is just pick up the phone and call someone who can help you think through it, right? Um, it's it's not about making a decision, uh, it's not about committing to anything, just have the conversation, right? And I say that because when you're overwhelmed, it's almost always about the unknown, right? And and and and and how do you kind of imagine through that? Um, it could feel like sometimes up-ending everything that that that you've done uh with it for your loved ones and their schedule, the family dynamics. And and I found that in those moments, the first step you take, a phone call you make, helps you shift your thinking. The burden may not disappear, but at least it becomes more manageable as you think through it, right? That someone helps you walk along the way. And so you're not carrying that burden by yourself. You have someone alongside to do that. And the Foundation for Senior Services, you know, our promise is simple. You know, we want to help anyone who needs help and to make, as you said, make their best life possible, and starts without one conversation. And as we have over 300 certified specialists who can help guide you through that process and provide the advice.

SPEAKER_02 41:12

Right. And what I want to add is this is nothing to be ashamed of, this is nothing to be embarrassed of, this is life and to welcome support, you know, to be open about support. This is the part that happens. Because if it doesn't happen to you, that meant meant you lived a very short life. That's true, right? And so, so this is I think the answer is to accept that this is our life and this is what happens, and we are all here to support each other. That's not an anomaly that you need help. It's the it means you had a full life.

SPEAKER_01 41:54

This is this is your third act, act three. This is the good one, guys. This is when you've you've had all the experience and you've been through it all, and you can live and but if you need support, whether it's mental or physical or financial or emotional, we have the people such as Ilana and Rebel to to help you out. The foundation is there for you. What is the most important takeaway that each of you from today's conversation want someone to remember?

SPEAKER_02 42:23

This is like Winston Churchill. There's nothing to fear but fear itself. So I like that.

SPEAKER_00 42:29

I like that.

SPEAKER_02 42:30

You like that? You know, so what's my takeaway? And I have to tell you, when I was a little girl, going into a hospital was torturous. It would, I was so afraid. That means people were sick, and my head would swim. And here I am, 70, and I walk into the hospital, and none of this is life. This is this is the way it is. And these people are being helped, and they have family, and wish is that this is our norm. This is part of what we do. We don't have to be afraid of it, just work with it and understand that this is our life. This is what happens when you have a full life. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 43:20

Quote that I can say is that, you know, people don't plan to fail, but they fail to plan, right? And uh and and waiting. No. But but you know, waiting is one thing that I think people cannot afford to do, right? Don't wait for the crisis. Don't wait until the undeniable happens. Don't wait until your options have have narrowed and are forced into making a decision under pressure. Uh everything we've talked about today, which is really about the quality of care, peace of mind, and what Ilana brings to the table, which is the financial protection, the dignity, and the independence that every senior deserves, right? And so all of this makes it even more accessible, more achievable. And and meaningful um when when there is a clear plan in place before the urgency arrives. And so someone once said, you know, aging is not a problem to be solved, but it's a repeated reality that you plan for. That planning to be honest, it has to be intentional. And the one thing that most I think loving things that anyone can do for each other is is plan. And so if anything, if you walk away from this conversation, you know, start today, right? Not because something is wrong, but because the people that you you know you truly love and deserve um uh a plan that is made with care and love and intention and uh and making sure that there is enough time to to get it right. And so that's what all of us here at the foundation for senior services do every single day. And um, in my opinion, you know, uh myself and and I to speak for for Elana as well. We would be honored to do that for you and your family.

SPEAKER_01 44:59

Yes. I don't know how to thank both of you, uh Robel Guxa of Comfort Care and Ilana Fox Insurance. What's your best company?

SPEAKER_02 45:09

Silver Fox Golden Years Insurance. You got it.

SPEAKER_01 45:14

I love it. I love it. I cannot thank you enough for again being being here. Sure. I thoroughly enjoyed it. I am sure that our listeners got great information. And thank you again for being here. Have a wonderful rest of your day, and we'll see you next time. And listeners, see you next time on Senior Prime Time.

SPEAKER_02 45:36

Thank you again.

SPEAKER_01 45:37

Thanks so much for listening and for being part of the conversation. We're truly grateful that you've spent your time with us, and we hope today's discussion was meaningful to you. We'd also like to thank Robel Guxa and Ilana Fox for sharing their knowledge and perspective on such an important topic. And if you'd like to learn more about in-home care services and long-term care planning, feel free to connect with Robel and Ilana. Their contact information is in the description below, and they are wonderful resources to help you make informed decisions. Now be sure to subscribe and follow so that we can stay connected because we have more inspiring conversations coming your way that you will not want to miss. And if you're interested in becoming a sponsor to Senior Prime Time, it's a meaningful way to support this podcast and the foundation while connecting with a growing audience. We'd love to hear from you. This is Senior Primetime, your place for real people and real conversations. See you next time.