Found at 40
Turns out, life doesn’t come with a manual—but it does come with a podcast.
Found at 40 is a podcast for women in midlife having honest conversations about relationships, work, parenting, and figuring out who we are in this season.
Each week, guests over 40 share their best lessons, hilarious moments, and wisdom that only comes from surviving the ultimate group projects of marriage, motherhood, and careers. Together, we talk through the chaotic season of shifting identities, evolving marriages, growing kids, perimenopause knocking at the door, and the quiet panic of reinvention.
It’s what we’ve learned now that we’re finally old enough to know better—and still occasionally do it anyway. Because midlife isn’t a crisis… it’s just incredibly well-researched content.
Welcome to the group chat you didn’t know you needed.
Instagram: @foundat40podcast
Found at 40
The Motherhood Identity Crisis: Who Am I Now That Everything Is Changing?
Midlife motherhood can feel like an identity crisis—your kids are growing, your roles are shifting, and you’re asking, “Who am I now?” In this episode, licensed clinical counselor Ellie Messinger-Adams helps us explore how to rediscover yourself when everything is changing. Together they break down the Motherhood Midlife Crisis—the moment when your kids are growing, your roles are shifting, and the version of you that once felt solid no longer fits.
We also dig into the anxious mom mind, the relentless mental load, and the emotional overwhelm so many women carry silently. Ellie shares her Identity Confidence Model, a practical framework for getting grounded, nurturing self-trust, and redefining who you are beyond the roles you’ve spent years fulfilling.
If you’re navigating big transitions, feeling disconnected from yourself, or wondering what comes next as your kids need you differently, this episode will remind you that nothing is wrong with you—you’re growing. And you’re not alone.
(0:00) ✨ Welcome to Found at 40 + what the “Motherhood Identity Crisis” really means
(2:00) 🧭 Chrissi’s midlife moment: hitting all the milestones and still wondering, “Who am I?”
(6:00) 🥇 Achievement treadmill, midlife doldrums, and the haunting question of “Now what?”
(8:00) 🧩 Roles vs identity: why “mother,” “wife,” and “daughter” aren’t the whole story
(10:00) 🏗️ The Identity Confidence Model: undeniable truths, grounding, and rebuilding self-trust
(14:00) 🕊️ Facing the empty-nest horizon, future-tripping, and redefining what “presence” looks like
(22:00) 🎨 “I’m a creative”: discovering identity beyond motherhood, wife, and friend
(28:00) 🧠 The anxious mom mind: 20 open tabs, constant mental load, and why letting go feels like failing
(31:00) 🎬 Inside Out 2, joy vs anxiety, and learning to tell your brain, “We’re actually okay”
(36:00) 🌱 Midlife as first-time self-discovery: putting words to who you’ve always been
(44:00) 💔 Listener Q: grieving the version of you who didn’t pursue her dreams & wanting more than “just” wife/mother
(48:00) 🌍 Listener Q: staying calm for your kids when the world feels terrifying + the power of “worry time”
Follow Ellie Messinger-Adams at @ematherapy on Instagram or ematherapy.com
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📱 Check out @foundat40podcast on Instagram for extras, outtakes, and mild oversharing
🎙️ Listen on Apple Podcasts and Spotify
📺 Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Foundat40
Keywords: motherhood identity crisis, midlife women, mental load, anxious mom mind, rediscovering yourself, empty nest transition, motherhood mental health, identity in motherhood, midlife confidence, personal growth for women