Episode 30: Will I Still Be Married In Heaven?

This topic single-handedly garnered the most views and comments on my blog when I was posting my Bible findings once a week.  If that tells us anything, it's that this is a topic on the minds and in the curiosities of a great deal of believers!

The short answer to the question is ... no.  We won't still be married in heaven.  But our loving Father wouldn't just take that relationship away -- He is replacing it with something even better. Hopefully, if you came into this episode worried or stressed, you will leave relieved.

I have TWO special guests on this episode -- a married couple who had some great insight and thoughts about the topic ... David and Patty Haworth.  I have been friends with Patty for 30 years now! (WOW).  And David -- he's having a heck of a wonderful life between ushering for the Cubs at Wrigley Field (any baseball fans out there???) and pursuing his dream of writing novels.  Join us for our conversation!

Here are some links we reference in the chat:

David's book Your Precious Possessions

Proverbs 31:10-31

Transcript

0:01

Hi, I'm your host Lori Larson, and this is the year I read the Bible. Welcome a Lifelong Christian. I thought I was familiar with the Bible, but in 2023 I accepted the challenge of reading the whole thing, cover to cover. Whenever I encountered something I didn't understand or wanted to learn more. I jotted it down, but I kept reading to stay on schedule. Then I reached the end Imagine Confetti rating down on me, and a huge sigh of relief. I had 40 topics to research in 2024. I started diving into all those topics. I did research, I wrote blogs and I shared them with whoever might wanna learn too. And in 2025, the project continues. I published a book containing all my essays, and now a podcast. Is there something you can learn from that dusty book that sits on all of our shelves? Yes. Yes, there is. Let's dive into The year I read the Bible. Greetings listeners, thanks for joining me today for this very important episode of the year. I read the Bible and evidently judging by the number of hits that this particular essay received on my blog, the most intriguing topic of my entire Bible journey. The topic today is called Will I Still Be Married in Heaven? This one essay out of a total of 40 in my journey, received about a hundred times more hits than any other topic. So buckle up and let's find out why will I still be married in heaven? During my journey reading the Bible in a year, when I came across a verse that generated today's topic, it blew my mind. I talked to my husband about it as well, and similarly, he found it hard to believe. I titled this essay with a question, so let me just answer it straight away. Will I still be married in heaven? The answer is no. What? How about if I prayed to God to help me find the right mate? How about if I got married in a church, blessed by a clergy member? How about if we've lived a God filled marriage? Then will we still be husband and wife when we both go to heaven? And the answer is still no. Mark 1225 says, and Jesus is speaking here. When the dead rise, they will neither marry nor be given in marriage. They will be like the angels in heaven. That was the new international version. Luke 2034 and 35 says, Jesus replied, the people of this age will marry and our given in marriage, but those who are considered worthy of taking part in the age to come and in the resurrection from the dead will neither marry nor be given in marriage. That sounds pretty indisputable. There will be no marriage in heaven, but why? Think of all the funeral services you've been to, and the deceased will be joining their spouse in heaven because they were both. Faithful followers of Jesus. That's one way that we as close friends or family members can find some comfort in their deaths, is knowing that they will be reunited as man and wife in heaven. Hope Bollinger in her crosswalk article. Will I still be married to My Spouse in Heaven, offers this insight. God designed marriage. Essentially, we marry on earth to be a reflection of Jesus Christ and the church. By marrying we avoid sexual sin and we produce offspring to fill the earth, but in heaven. Temptation doesn't exist, and neither does sin eradicating those two purposes of human marriage. Third earthly marriage is a reflection of the relationship between Christ and the church. But in heaven, we are all part of Christ's collective bride. As the church, why settle for a reflection when we have the best kind of marriage at our fingertips in heaven, the marriage of Christ and his church. To help us absorb this spiritual concept, let's think about this. Why do two people get married in the first place? They love each other and want to devote themselves to monogamous love. They want to have children and raise a family. Marriage allows them to combine income and savings, buy property together, leave property to each other in the case of death. They can take advantage of tax benefits. Marriage prevents loneliness and the unwanted reality of being alone in life. Assuming all or at least some of these points are accurate about earthly marriage, let's go back through them with a heavenly lens. Would these points still exist in heaven? Would any of them exist in heaven? No. In heaven we don't create new children. Have income, pay taxes, buy property, and no one is lonely. So maybe marriage on Earth doesn't exist in heaven because it's simply not needed in heaven. It's an earthly construct that doesn't translate to our heavenly existence. Hmm. Okay. I'm starting to see this, but I have some questions. I may not be married to my spouse in heaven, but will I still have a special love for him? And is it reciprocated in hope? Bollinger's previously referenced article, she says, you will still love your spouse because the very nature of God is love. He fills heaven with his glory, Ezekiel one in new un sinful bodies, and becoming more like Christ. Second Corinthians five 17. We will love in heaven more than we ever loved on Earth. You will live with your beloved husband or wife forever in heaven. The two of you will continue to grow together in love, understanding, happiness and joy to all eternity. Death has no power over what God has joined together and quote, I like that. But what about other family relationships? Will my children still be my son or daughter? Will I still be their mother in heaven? I'm not aware of any Bible verses that address this specific question more than the question of marriage in heaven. I believe this answer is up to a higher level of interpretation. John MacArthur, in his book, the Glory of Heaven, addresses it this way, quote. We will be reunited not only with our own families and loved ones, but also with the people of God from all ages in heaven. We will all be one loving family. The immense size of the family will not matter in the infinite perfection of heaven. There will be ample opportunity for close relationships with everyone, and our eternity will be spent in just that kind of rich, unending fellowship. If you're worried about feeling out of place in heaven. Don't Heaven will seem more like home than the dearest spot on earth to you. It is uniquely designed by a tender loving savior to be the place where we will live together for all eternity and enjoy him forever in the fullness of our glorified humanity. End quote. Wow. After reading these paragraphs, I breathed a big sigh of relief. Because by worrying about will I be married in heaven, will I be a mother, et cetera, I think we're missing the whole point. Let's focus on the things we are certain of. There will be immense love in heaven. There will be no pain, there will be no deprivation. The father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit will be there for us to experience all the time. Everything we love about life on earth, something like it, or even better, will be in heaven. Everything we hate about life on earth, it won't exist there my friends. You remember the 1988 single by performer Bobby McFaren. It started with a peppy, carefree whistle, then added some acapella vocal rhythms until finally Bobby's Jamaican accented voice. Don't worry. Be happy here. I looked it up and I'll share a little bit of it for you. That's the message I want you to take from this essay today. First of all, we don't know exactly what heaven will be like because we are interpreting the Bible and not all of us have the same interpretation, but one thing we can all count on is that heaven will be wonderful and infinitely better than Earth, so don't worry. Be happy. Let's pray. Dear Lord, please help us to focus on your promise of a loving, happy, beautiful afterlife in heaven. For those devoted followers who will join you there, help us to remember that just as your devoted apostle Paul wrote to the Corinthians, for now we see in Amir dimly. But then face to face, now I know in part then I shall know fully. Amen. And listeners, please stay tuned. This is a first for this podcast. I will be welcoming two guests to chat with me after this essay. I have good friends, David and Patty Hayworth, and they will be discussing with me today. Will I still be married in heaven? Stay tuned.

Laurie 11:57

And we are back with two very special guests on this special episode. As I mentioned earlier, this is my first episode where I have two guests. Because it's such a big topic, takes two people to talk about it. I am so excited to introduce you to David and Patty Hayworth. Welcome David and Patty.

David and Patty Haworth 12:18

Hey, how are you doing?

Laurie 12:19

Good.

David and Patty Haworth 12:20

Glad to be here. Yeah, thank you.

Laurie 12:23

For the sake of the listeners who haven't met you yet, why don't each of you one at a time, tell us a little about yourself and then also how you and I became acquainted with each other.

David and Patty Haworth 12:36

Okay, I'll start. I'm Patty Hayworth and I met Lori at state firm. We were both working in the state firm payment plan and I think she was a business analyst at the time and I think I was a developer at the time. And then I since progressed onto to project management and Lori also did some project management. So we've been kinda leading parallel lives and we've been keeping up with each other all these years. I think. Since the mid nineties till now, so just love, love my relationship with Lori.

Laurie 13:08

And as we're chatting with each other, I can see the beautiful scenery in your background. David and Patty are, lucky enough to live in a beautiful city, right on a major street in the city, which is such an unusual home setting for so many of my friends, including myself.

David and Patty Haworth 13:28

Yeah, I thought I'd be living in a suburban locale for the rest of my life, but God had other plans for me. So really enjoying this chapter in the city of Chicago.

Laurie 13:38

Great.

David and Patty Haworth 13:39

Yeah, I didn't think, I would ever move downtown. Patty, mentioned that once she got a job down at Blue Cross Blue Shield, right downtown, that I should come down and take a look and I would love it. And I was like, no, I'm not. I'm not moving down to the city. And came down and looked at the neighborhood and, it's packed, the boxes we're moving and I just love the city and we sold our car and we walk all over the place and enjoy the theaters and the restaurants and Michigan Avenue and just having fun.

Laurie 14:10

Oh.

David and Patty Haworth 14:10

And then my commute's like seven minutes. And David, how about your commute? My commute's about two minutes'cause I'm retired and I just walked to the coffee pot here. That's about it. And. Going to Oh, to the Cubs? Yes. Yes. So I worked for the Cubs, as a seasonal employee, as an usher. And I'm very fortunate that we're right down by the, visitors dugout. And I do take the l the red line, which really. Took some getting used to but it's, maybe 45 minutes door to door at the most 30 minutes, usually. And it goes right to Addison, right at Wrigley Field, and I'm right there and, just a blast every day.

Laurie 14:55

You know, David, I have heard many of my retired mostly male friends say that that is their dream retirement job. So you have quite a, desirable position being in a usher at Wrigley Field for the home games of the Cubs. Oops.

David and Patty Haworth 15:14

Yes, absolutely. So I work about 70 games a year and plus a few concerts, and then a couple of Northwestern football games will be there. But every game. Someone will say to me, you have got a great job here. This is a great job. When I retire, I wanna do this, and how'd you get this job? So, it's great.

Laurie 15:36

You must have to be a baseball lover. I mean, baseball games get really long and if you're sitting through or standing through working through 70 gains, that's a lot of time commitment.

David and Patty Haworth 15:47

Yes it is. But as an usher. my human resources career really came into play and it's really dealing with the fans and making sure the fans are having a good time, which is my primary role, just goofing around the fans, helping them out, making sure everyone's having a good time, everybody's healthy. plus I get to watch the game and get paid to watch the game. It's amazing. And I sit right in the 14th row, so you can't get any better than that.

Laurie 16:14

Do you remember when I came and sat in your section, something that you did for this fan to make me happy?

David and Patty Haworth 16:23

Yes, I think I went and got you a foul ball from that particular game and gave you a foul ball.

Laurie 16:29

because I was expecting my first grandchild, who my son and his wife already knew was gonna be a boy. And they had decorated his nursery in sports themes, so footballs and baseballs and soccer balls. And I thought what a perfect, contribution to the baby nursery, uh, actual MLB baseball.

David and Patty Haworth 16:53

From the day that you were there, so that makes it special.

Laurie 16:56

That's right.

David and Patty Haworth 16:58

If there's 40,000 people per game, you know, it's a couple million per year. Very few people get a baseball foul ball like that. So

Laurie 17:08

That's

David and Patty Haworth 17:08

it, it helps to know a guy

Laurie 17:10

have Connections.

David and Patty Haworth 17:12

that's right.

Laurie 17:13

And David, you also have started your own author career. You wanna tell us a little bit about your books and what you're working on?

David and Patty Haworth 17:22

Yes. And, many thanks to you, Laurie, for your great example and all the books that you have written and, the. Tremendous advice that you've provided me as I get started. So I've written one novel, murder Mystery, and I am working on my second one right now. Really picking up speed on that. Feeling good. I've edited, a hundred or so pages today, but it's sort of funny. I thought, well, you know, I'd like to write a romance novel. And because I don't think there's too many guys that are writing in that genre. But I, in my research found that, certain demographics, of women that I'm, thinking are my readers, they do like some, mystery, the murders, the action involved in there. So my romance novel turned into murder, myster mystery, so. Mm-hmm. I'm not sure what that says about romance, but

Laurie 18:20

You gotta have something going on during the

David and Patty Haworth 18:22

Yeah.

Laurie 18:23

What is the title of your book, and where can, the listeners find it if they so choose?

David and Patty Haworth 18:29

Yeah. Thank you. The title is, Your Precious Possessions. A Lucky Man, Cody Gunn. So it's gonna be a Lucky Man series. I hope to write at least three books out of that series, for Cody, lucky man, so. Your precious possessions and it's on Amazon. You can go out there and, and, look under David f Hayworth and your precious possessions Cody gun. So yeah. Thank you for the plug on that.

Laurie 18:57

Awesome. And we'll go ahead and put in some links in the show notes of this episode so that they can check that out. So thank you for both of you introducing yourself. Let's go ahead and get into this topic called Will we Still Be Married in Heaven? The New Testament is pretty clear that what we recognize as Marriage on Earth will not exist in Heaven. But that makes a lot of married people sad. What do you think about that? Will people married on Earth still have a special kind of loving connection in heaven?

David and Patty Haworth 19:36

I think that there's God's promise to us is that there'll be so much joy and that, there'll be no more sorrow and, our full devotion will be worshiping God and, the joy that he will provide. So, unfortunately. I think our will be more like angels, like angels, not angels. And that that full love and presence of God will really, transcend any, loving relationship that we may have here. that will not be, present in heaven. Well, and we won't be in our bodies anymore. We won't have any pain or any sorrow or, it's just a completely different existence than what we're experiencing here on earth.

Laurie 20:28

Yeah, I agree. In the essay I talked about what are some reasons people get married on Earth, you fall in love, you wanna have a family, you wanna be together, you wanna own property. There's certain benefits for leaving someone in something in their will. None of that is going to apply in heaven. Those are all earthly constructs that, just won't be necessary so.

David and Patty Haworth 20:57

no procreation in heaven, there's none of that. None of that is happening. It's, more about worshiping God and, living the life that he wants us to live and, not have to be burdened with all the earthly constructs, as you mentioned. In heaven it'll be God's perfect love. Patty and I met in a Bible study and, I thought, oh, this young, beautiful woman and she is, so many thanks and just, so kind and considerate and insightful And we've been, married 37 years now, thank you. Mm-hmm. But it's God's perfect love, even in all of our joy and all of our time together and how we've met. It's that perfect Love that. I mean, as you said, we can understand it, only slightly, but can you imagine your best day here on earth? Just being a hundred fold, and forever.

Laurie 21:59

Yeah.

David and Patty Haworth 22:00

that's a pretty good, pretty good, promise.

Laurie 22:04

Do you think there's coffee in heaven? Oh, nevermind. That's just a fleeting thought I had.

David and Patty Haworth 22:12

Starbucks in.

Laurie 22:14

That's right. So in my research I came across some people who felt. That the scripture means we won't get married in heaven. There won't be new marriages or relationships in heaven that, would cause us to get married, but that if we were married on Earth, we would retain that relationship in heaven. think they're kind of hoping for that, but I don't think that's biblically based. What is your take on that?

David and Patty Haworth 22:45

I don't think that our relationships on earth persist in heaven. I think it's a blank slate. You're not in your earthly body anymore. It's completely different existence where again, we're worshiping and glorifying God. It's a completely different existence. Go ahead. Oh, I'm, I'm trying to be good. God is, giving man a break, that there'll be no more marriage in heaven, you know? Oh heaven. I know. And unfortunately, that isn't there, won't be relevant.

Laurie 23:20

It's, hard to get used to, but we also have to trust God knows what's best. Obviously, he created heaven just like he created Earth and everyone in it. So, this is his plan. We see little hints from words that Jesus has said, or that the prophets in the Old Testament have said, and this is God's plan. And we have to trust that, that that is the best for everyone involved. So on a slightly different topic, moving away from marriage, for Christians, we know the importance of accepting Christ as our savior while we're on earth, so that our eternity is safe in heaven with our Father. So as much as we may try to witness and convince our family members and close friends to accept Jesus, we face the sad reality that. We will spend eternity without some of our loved ones present. Do you think that, that we are there and there are people we know that aren't, you think we'll miss them and grieve the loss of those people when we're in heaven?

David and Patty Haworth 24:38

I don't think so because I think again, we're gonna be so busy worshiping God that we won't remember all that. And, I think about the story about Lazarus and just how, a rich man was in hell and he begged for Lazarus to bring a drop of cool water to ease him from his torments. And they're like, no, we're not gonna do that. The chasm between heaven and hell is so great. You can't span across it.

Laurie 25:04

Oh, that's really interesting. Yeah, we'll have to look up that verse and, maybe post that in our show notes so that the listeners can, look that up. But a really insightful comment. I like that. I, I'm not familiar with that off the top of my head.

David and Patty Haworth 25:21

Okay, well that's Luke. Chapter 16 verse, Luke 1619, talking about Lazarus. And the important thing in there is that he has five brothers that he wants to have saved. And he knows his fate now and he would like some relief from it, but he wants, to be able to go and warn his brothers to not, end up where he is and that they should, really repent to their ways. And, they have the. Promise of heaven. So I think that, for us, you know, we pray, for God's forgiveness, for us, and that we're thankful for God's mercy and his grace, that we also pray daily for our family and our friends, that they would know, God's grace and the eternal peace.

Laurie 26:18

Yeah, I was just looking up that, thank you for that reference. the Rich Man and Lazarus. There was a rich man who was dressed in purple and fine linen and lived in luxury every day. At his gate was laid, a beggar named Lazarus, covered with sores and longing to eat what fell from the rich man's table. Even the dogs came and licked his sores. time came when the beggar died and the angels carried him to Abraham's side. man also died and was buried in Hades, where he was in torment. He looked up and saw Abraham far away with Lazarus by his side, he called to him. Father Abraham, have pity on me and send Lazarus to dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue because I am an agony in this fire. But Abraham replied, son, remember that in your lifetime you received your good things while Lazarus received bad things, but now he is comforted here and you are in agony. And besides all this, between us and you, a great chasm has been set in place so that those who want to go from here you cannot nor can anyone cross from over there to us.

David and Patty Haworth 27:36

Right.

Laurie 27:37

Wow, that's really powerful.

David and Patty Haworth 27:40

Very, it's interesting because, you just think that, Hey, I want somebody, now that I know that I'm in Hades, I wanna go back and warn everybody to, not make the same choices or decisions that I made.

Laurie 27:51

right.

David and Patty Haworth 27:52

it's like, too late. It's too late. You

Laurie 27:54

We've.

David and Patty Haworth 27:55

gotta do it while you're here.

Laurie 27:56

We, we've had so many opportunities to do it. Now we've had missionaries, we've had pastors, we've had family members, we've had, the Bible. I mean, anyone can pick up a Bible at any time, right?

David and Patty Haworth 28:09

Right.

Laurie 28:10

if we wait until you realize that, oh gosh, all that was true and all that was serious. Nope. Too late.

David and Patty Haworth 28:19

That story about the guy who's in a flood and it's like, send me some relief. I want you to send me some relief. And he is like, I sent a plane, a boat, or whatever, I said all these things and, and you're still, you gotta reach out when the opportunities are there and take advantage of them.

Laurie 28:35

Yeah. Wow. That's really good. That's a good, ties it all together for us, doesn't it? Is there any other thoughts that you had about this whole topic of in heaven, whether they be or, relationships with our family members or friends, how you think it'll be up there?

David and Patty Haworth 29:00

I go back to, the thought of that it will fill our hearts that. We have joy here. As I mentioned earlier, we have good days and we have so many things that we are excited about, but to have our hearts filled with worshiping God in such joy eternally, every moment as you started out saying, it's difficult to comprehend, but that promise is, just incredible. Right? Well, and I think about a chorus of angels. There's that not gonna be any wrong notes up there. I know that you sing in your church and Sure. I'm sure you've had a wrong note a time or two. Like I have.

Laurie 29:51

I sure have.

David and Patty Haworth 29:53

But luckily, for us, if we're in heaven then, we won't have any wrong notes and we'll all be singing in a chorus. And when you're in the company of, people who are worshiping God, you're at your best.

Laurie 30:05

Yeah.

David and Patty Haworth 30:06

So, and you lift each other up. And I think that's what we all should be striving for.

Laurie 30:12

This is kind of an impromptu question. I just thought of it, but who is the Bible character that you will make an effort of looking up and talking to when you get

David and Patty Haworth 30:29

Oh, that's Proverbs 31 woman.

Laurie 30:32

Oh, tell us about that.

David and Patty Haworth 30:34

Yeah, I wanna go see, all the reasons why she made all the decisions where she considered the land, or, her husband considered her more precious than jewels or, I wanna know all about her and, find more, about that.

Laurie 30:49

Great.

David and Patty Haworth 30:50

Yeah.

Laurie 30:50

about you, David? Anything come to mind? I.

David and Patty Haworth 30:53

Yeah. But there's so many things that come to mind. who would not wanna talk to Paul? Right? And, him, being, blinded on the road and just how his life changed 180 degrees and went from tormenting and harassing and hunting, of the Christians to being, one of the strongest followers of Christ and, being devoted. That would be, someone that I would love to, talk with and just to feel that person's energy would be incredible.

Laurie 31:30

Yeah, I think that I would really like to talk with Simon Peter. his life changed in an instant here. He was out on a boat doing his fishing and I'm sure he wasn't a particularly educated man. I think he was a married person. He was in love with his wife. He thought his whole life was set. And when Jesus called him to follow him and be fishers of men, he came and didn't, and he wanted to do the best job he possibly could, and he did in so many ways, but he also failed several times. And, that's just the humanity of him.

David and Patty Haworth 32:09

Okay.

Laurie 32:10

Mankind gets the best of you and makes the worst of you. Sometimes. And think, we're all like that. He just happened to be documented in a book where he denied three times. But I think we can all relate to that.

David and Patty Haworth 32:25

One other, if you don't mind, I'll throw in the second person in there. As Patty, said earlier about, how we receive and have opportunities, to, Really to accept God's, faith and his, promise to us. But I think of, Elijah that, when he had, murdered all the, prophets and then, ran away, to save his own life, and God told him to go to the cave. And he went to the cave and. That God would come before him. And so the mountain shuck is, the scripture says in one kings but God wasn't there. And so many things happened, earthquakes and, but God wasn't there. And then there was a, a whisper went. Past the cave, the opening of the cave and that's where, where God was and to experience that, completely. So many times, we, look for God's promise or God's sign from God in so many other places, but just how to know that the whisper, the grace of, God came right past. Mm-hmm.

Laurie 33:44

Yeah.

David and Patty Haworth 33:45

So,

Laurie 33:46

Sometimes you

David and Patty Haworth 33:47

And he was listening, right? He was listening with attention. He wasn't distracted by his iPhone.

Laurie 33:54

yeah. Or all the streaming shows on all the channels now.

David and Patty Haworth 33:59

Gosh, yes. Binge watch. I always have to figure out what channel was that on? Was it on, uh,

Laurie 34:04

Yeah.

David and Patty Haworth 34:05

you know.

Laurie 34:07

Well thank you so much to both of you. It was great to catch up with you and, talk about this important topic and I just can't wait to have the topic out and. Listeners, listening and giving me their thoughts on this, incredible topic. But you guys, I knew God was leading me to the right guests for this show. So thank you so much for your time and also your, insights and your thoughts.

David and Patty Haworth 34:34

Thank you. Opportunity, Laurie.

Laurie 34:36

You're all right. Well, you take care and I will talk to you soon.

34:43

and that's it for today. Thank you very much for being here with me on the year I read the Bible Podcast. We'll be back with another episode next week. If you enjoy this podcast, please do all the normal things to spread the word like it. Review it, share it with your friends. If you are interested in additional the year, I read the Bible resources such as the book, the video channel, and the blog, I will certainly include the links in the show notes, and I'd love to hear about your own journey to read the Bible cover to cover. Have you done it or are you doing it right now? Please reach out to me and let me know how it's going. Until next time, it's Lori Larson with the year I read the Bible. Bye.