The Anxiety Loop: Why Overthinking Is Burning You Out

If your brain won’t shut off… this episode is for you.

Overthinking is one of the most common ways anxiety shows up, but it’s also one of the most misunderstood. Even though it feels exhausting, part of you still believes it’s helping you prepare, stay in control, or avoid getting hurt.

But instead, it keeps you stuck.

In this episode, we’re breaking down what overthinking actually is (and what it isn’t), why your brain keeps going back to it, and how it turns into a loop that fuels anxiety and burnout.

We’ll also get into practical, evidence-based tools to help you step out of the cycle because the goal isn’t to stop thinking... it’s to stop getting stuck there.

Transcript

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Hello and welcome to Advantage, the podcast that helps you shift from stress to strategy. I'm your host, Katerina McCurdy, a registered clinical counselor and former frontline worker, here to help you understand the patterns that fuel stress, anxiety, and burnout. In each episode, we'll unpack what's beneath the stress and explore ways to meet it with awareness and intention. Let's get started. Welcome back. Today I want to talk about one of the most common ways that anxiety shows up for people, and that's overthinking. Chances are that you're not surprised by that because if you overthink, then you know just how exhausting that feels. But your brain does it anyway because it craves certainty. I've had a lot of people tell me that their overthinking has helped them to either feel more prepared or more organized. And I think that really shows how much anxiety is just trying to be helpful. But then that's also the problem because when it seemingly works, we keep doing it. And it's enough of a reward for the brain to signal that it's helpful and then turn it into a habit. And when it's unhelpful, it typically shows up when you're driving in your car or you're laying in bed ready to fall asleep, and all of a sudden your brain starts talking and it says something like, Hey, remember that conversation from today? Do you think we did that right? Do you think that maybe you overshare just a little bit? What if you don't hear from them for a week and it's because of what you said? Then what? And if it's not about the past, then your mind creates a problem to solve. It's as if our brain has no limit to the problems that it's trying to solve. And it's exhausting and a bit ridiculous at times. What I'm trying to say is that overthinking is more than just thinking a lot. It's when your mind gets stuck, whether that's replaying events, analyzing situations from every angle, or even worrying excessively about what could go wrong. But there is a difference between the two. Healthy thinking leads towards solutions and action, whereas overthinking keeps us stuck in doubt and inaction. Let's talk a little bit about what overthinking actually is. At its core, overthinking is characterized by the following three things: repetitive negative thoughts, thoughts that are hard to stop, and thought loops that start to interfere with your ability to function. So here's an example of that. When you're trying to make a simple decision, but you keep going back and forth and back and forth, what if I choose the wrong one? What if I regret the decision that I made? And instead of deciding, you end up not choosing anything at all. So clinically, this often shows up as rumination, which is focused on the past, and worry, which is more focused on the future. But both are essentially the same thing, which is getting stuck in the overthinking and not moving forward. One of the bigger drivers for overthinking is uncertainty. And it tends to show up when we feel really vulnerable about the future or when we're unsure about how something might play out. You might notice this looking like the never-ending what ifs. What if something goes wrong? What if it doesn't work out? I often remind people that what if is the language that anxiety speaks. Or it might show up as replaying conversations over and over, trying to predict every possible outcome. And I want to remind you that even in this case, anxiety does have a positive intention. By predicting every possible worst-case scenario, anxiety is convinced that you are way more prepared than ever to deal with any possible disappointment, the unexpected, or even prevent yourself from feeling like a failure. It has a very protective mechanism. It's just overdoing it. And of course, while it's natural to reflect and plan to some degree, overthinking can actually have some real consequences, like emotional paralysis, it can create strained relationships, and a lot of missed opportunities. Okay, so how do you even know if you're stuck in overthinking? Here are some common signs. One, replaying conversations and wondering what you should have said differently, maybe feeling overwhelmed by decisions that you need to make and spending way more time in the what-ifs than the actual present moment. Maybe trouble sleeping because your mind won't switch off. And then there's physical symptoms like tension, headaches, or restlessness. Maybe it looks like focusing on things that really are outside of your control. Or then turning small problems into much bigger ones. One very important first step to changing your overthinking is recognizing the pattern that you get stuck in. So here are just a few patterns that are commonly seen that I want you to listen for. We're going to go back to rumination, which again is dwelling on the past. Two is worrying. So that looks like obsessing about the future. Or three is decision paralysis. That looks like getting stuck in our decision making and actually avoiding taking any action. And then the last one is called perfectionism loops. This is where we feel like nothing is ever good enough. So here's where the brain piece comes in. And this is also really important. According to clinical psychologist Katherine Pittman, the more you think about something that is emotionally charged, like wondering if someone is upset with you, the more you end up activating your amygdala. Because when that happens, your brain learns that this thing that I'm constantly worrying about must be really important. Therefore, I should keep thinking about it. So essentially, the more you worry, the more you train your brain to keep worrying. But hold on, here's what I'm not saying. I'm not trying to tell you to just stop overthinking or that you shouldn't worry. Because trust me, I know that that doesn't work. What I think is important is to know what regions of the brain are affected by our overthinking. Because if the amygdala is constantly overactive, then we need to help our cortex come back online. And that's the part of the brain that's responsible for managing all that fear and anxiety. So the more you can practice grounding yourself into the present moment, creating containment for the overthinking, the stronger your cortex becomes. I want you to try and visualize these different regions of the brains like muscle groups. So the more we work that muscle, the stronger it's going to get. Typically, when we experience heightened anxiety, it's our cortex and our amygdala that are fighting for power. And so when our amygdala takes over, that's our cue that thinking our way out of worrying is likely not going to help. We're going to have to reach to something more tangible, like grounding or moving our body. I noticed that a lot of people confuse overthinking with problem solving. But instead of solving anything, it seems like we just get stuck in these loops, which means that we're not actually getting anywhere. And I'll be honest, this is the part that can feel maybe a little bit confronting. But while overthinking feels productive, it usually isn't. It can feel a lot like, oh, I'm gaining insight, I'm gaining clarity, or I feel like I'm preventing something bad from happening. But research actually shows the opposite. It shows that it impairs our problem solving, it increases our anxiety, and it reduces clarity in decision making. So maybe a helpful way of thinking about it is overthinking is problem solving that never reaches a solution. And I don't know if you already know this, but overthinking isn't just a symptom of anxiety. It's actually a mechanism that keeps anxiety going. Again, research shows that rumination can maintain and worsen anxiety and depression over time. So it becomes cyclical, not just a reaction that we have. You're not just overthinking because you're anxious. You're overthinking is what keeps you anxious. Okay, I promise you that I'm going to share some more practical ways that you can start to slow down your overthinking. But first, let's talk about the purpose and the function that overthinking serves. Because I believe that when we can understand its positive intention for us, there's less room for shame or guilt. So at its core, overthinking serves the intention of helping you feel safe and in control. Earlier, I shared the example that if I think this through enough, I'll prevent something bad from happening. But it can also sound like if I analyze this situation, maybe I'll be able to make the right decision. It can also sound like if I stay on top of this, maybe I won't be caught off guard. I know how much the brain hates surprise. We don't like not knowing what's going to happen. And so when we overthink a situation, we're convinced that we're able to prepare ourselves for whatever might come. And underneath all of that is often a really hard thing to tolerate, which brings us back to the topic of uncertainty. Okay, so here's what you've been waiting for. What do we actually do about it? Well, first, it's really important to recognize what sends you into the overthinking loops. Because just telling yourself to stop thinking about it doesn't work. It often makes it worse because now you're adding pressure and you're setting yourself up for more frustration. Remember that we can't always think our way out of an anxious thought. But what we can do is try and create some containment around those thoughts. One strategy that might feel a little counterintuitive, but it actually works, is scheduling time to worry. So, for example, giving yourself a window of time, like let's say 15 to 20 minute increments throughout the day, where you let yourself think through these things. And outside of that time, you gently redirect. Redirecting can look like saying to yourself, you know what, not right now. I'll come back to this later. Or maybe that's grounding yourself into the present moment. Maybe that looks like getting up to grab a glass of water, you do a small task, get outside, or then engage in an exercise that allows you to shift your thinking. I will talk more about that in just a couple seconds. But what all of this does is it creates structure. I want to preface that your brain learns through repetition, so it's gonna take a little bit of time, but it learns that there is a time and place for my thinking. If the brain doesn't get to have time to worry at all, then it will hijack any and all quiet time that you have, which eventually runs the risk of disrupting your sleep. And that doesn't feel good. I want to take a quick pause and say something important. There is no shortcut to working through anxiety. Sometimes we lean heavily on distraction, like scrolling, staying busy, avoiding the feeling altogether. And while I do believe that distraction has its place, if it becomes your main strategy, your brain will learn over time that anxiety is something that I need to escape from. The anxiety itself becomes the threat. And that can actually strengthen the cycle over time. So instead, here's where we get to shift how we relate to our thoughts. Here are a few evidence-based tools that you can try. Most of these come from cognitive behavioral therapy. And just to say, there are other ways of working through anxiety too, especially ones that help you get to the root of what's driving those thoughts. So if it feels like these are not working for you or you're feeling more overwhelmed by them, then I want you to remember that you don't have to navigate this alone. Reaching out for support can be really meaningful. Okay, so I have six brief strategies that I want to walk you through. Number one is called thought awareness, which is also known as anxiety mapping. Start by noticing the moment when your mind begins to spiral. Map it out. You're essentially just looking to catch those early signs of anxiety. What does it feel like? What does it sound like when it starts to escalate? So you might say something like, okay, I'm having the thought that this is out of my control. And that small shift helps create a little bit of space between you and the thought instead of getting pulled straight into it. And remember, you're not trying to stop the thought, you're just changing your relationship to it. Number two is called detached mindfulness. This is where instead of getting pulled into every thought, you're just practicing observing them. So imagine your thoughts as clouds that are passing by. You don't need to analyze, you don't need to fix them, you are simply noticing them. As each thought floats into your mind, you're just noticing it and you're visualizing it, leaving your mind. This is really great for helping build tolerance for those distressing thoughts. And it's way less exhausting than trying to fight each one. When we can build tolerance, our thoughts tend to carry less emotional weight over time. Number three, this is what we call questioning the thought. So ask yourself, is the thought even helpful? And if you're someone who tends to assume worst case scenarios, try this. Ask yourself, is this anxious thought that I'm having possible? Yeah, it probably is. Because in all honesty, a lot of things are possible. But then the next question that you get to ask yourself is how likely is it that it's going to happen? And based on evidence, meaning based on past experience, here's where it's really important that you don't rely on emotional experience or assumptions. How many times has this event actually happened to me in the past? And oftentimes the answer is no, it's not as likely as my anxiety is making it out to be. Okay, number four is setting decision limits. Overthinking tends to show up when decisions feel open-ended, like when you just keep going back and forth and back and forth on making a decision. So instead of giving your brain unlimited time to figure it out, give it a limit. For smaller things, you might say to yourself, okay, I'm gonna give myself five minutes to decide and then I'm moving on. And for the bigger decisions, you might say, okay, I'm gonna think this one through tonight and then make a decision by tomorrow. Because at a certain point, more thinking doesn't actually lead to more clarity. It just keeps you stuck. Five is coming back to real life. Psychologist Carbonell talks about noticing when you're all in your head. A simple way to check in with yourself is to ask, where am I right now? Am I stuck in my thoughts or am I actually here? And then do something real, even if it's something small, anything to bring your attention back. Go for a walk, step outside for a few minutes, notice your surroundings, pay attention to the sounds, to the sights, to the smells. An example of that is let's imagine you're lying on the couch or maybe in bed and you're replaying a stressful conversation that you had with a friend. And then all of a sudden you catch yourself spiraling and think, wait, I am totally in my head right now. So you get up, you pour yourself a glass of water, you step outside, you feel the sun, or you feel the rain, you listen to the birds, and just for a few minutes, you get to be back in the present moment. Even that small action can interrupt the loop and it gives you your brain a little bit of a break. And last but not least, something that has worked for me when I get stuck in my overthinking is trying to shift from my negative, more anxious thoughts to something more positive and encouraging, like focusing on a time when someone complimented me or a time when I felt encouraged or that I was succeeding at something. And the most important thing, don't forget to breathe through your anxious thoughts. Your body is also going to need some help because it's absorbing all the stress from the thinking. Research shows that just two minutes of deep breathing can actually lower your cortisol and adrenaline. So again, it's the small things that can make a big difference. So if you are going to take anything from this, let it be this, which is that overthinking isn't just about thinking too much. It's about getting stuck in your thinking in a way that no longer serves you. And the goal isn't to stop your thoughts, it's to learn how to step out of the loop and come back into the present moment. Thanks for listening. If you haven't already, please subscribe on Spotify and Apple so you don't miss future episodes. You can also connect with me on Instagram at advantage.podcast for updates and extra resources. To learn more about my counseling services, visit vantagecounseling.com. Until next time, take a step back, breathe, and give yourself the advantage.