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addiction to porn and struggling with mental health

please help me

Hi, porn has been around in my life for far too long and it's been a long hard battle. And I'm at the point where I will never just go choose to look at it, but I will wake up at times in the middle of the night and just be so full of lust, and my guard is down and I have no self control, as I am not fully awake. And so I'm at a loss for how to win this fight as it attacks when I can't defend myself. Any wisdom or advice is incredibly appreciated. Thank you so much

I have a question.

am I going crazy I listen to the gaslighting podcasts and im the one with the addiction, my wife is the one with the betrayal trauma and I feel like im being gaslight every day

I'm young and went down the wrong part of the internet

Dave