Leading Without the BS: 7 Patterns That Make Year-End Reviews Brutal (and How to Fix Them)

Hosts: Ivan Konermann & Heather Hopkins

Big Promise: Leaders will leave with practical shifts they can use now and year-round to make reviews easier, clearer, and less stressful.

Core Theme: Bad reviews aren’t born in December—they’re built through avoidance or fuzziness all year. Strong reviews come from routine, honest, specific feedback tied to role expectations and observable behavior.

7 Patterns That Create Terrible Reviews

1. Avoiding feedback all year → surprise at review time, damaged trust.
   Key line: “Choose your hard.” Deal with discomfort now or misery later.
2. Lopsided reviews (all bad or all good) → demoralizing or misleading.
   Fix: highlight strengths + 2–3 priority growth areas.
3. Making it about the manager → spotlight shifts off the employee.
   Fix: focus on employee patterns/impact; remove “I” from drafts.
4. Manager underprepared → vague fluff or identity attacks (“personality”).
   Fix: role requirements + clear examples; reviews aren’t negotiations.
5. Overweighting technical performance → behavior issues ignored, toxicity rewarded.
   Truth: how results happen matters.
6. Fear of honesty with top performers (“they’ll quit”) → unhealthy team signal.
   Better question: what if they stay and keep harming the team?
7. Waiting for the formal review to give feedback → first real convo comes too late.
   Fix: ongoing small course-corrections, not annual swerves.

Memorable Lines:
“Choose your hard.” • “Fluffy cloud feedback.” • Spotlight metaphor • Driving/steering analogy.

Takeaways:
Give timely feedback, be specific, keep priorities narrow, balance strengths + gaps, prepare for the conversation (not just the form), and hold behavior accountable.

Call to Action:
If you’re dreading reviews or writing them over holidays, you’re likely stuck in these patterns. Reach out to Wingspan for help building honest, effective feedback habits year-round.

4 Takeaways:

1. Explore Wingspan’s Leader Team Coaching & Advising — the proven path for leaders ready to multiply performance across their teams. Schedule a Clarity Call with one of our expert Advisors right now!
2. Subscribe to the Wingspan Newsletter — get practical leadership insights, podcast episode deep-dives, client spotlights, and weekly tools delivered straight to your inbox.
3. Check out our YouTube Channel for unfiltered clips on behavioral performance and leadership actions that actually work.
4. 📲 Text us for leadership performance advice — real answers for real leaders.

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Transcript

Ivan Konermann 0:21

People will say, I can't be honest with them because they'll leave. Because they're so good.

Cathy Maday 0:30

Welcome to Leading Without the BS. Unfiltered, Unapologetic, Unstoppable Performance.

Ivan Konermann 0:35

I'm Ivan Konermann

Heather Hopkins 0:36

I'm Heather Hopkins.

Ivan Konermann 0:38

We are going to be talking today about some of the most common patterns that lead to really challenging reviews at the end of the year.

Heather Hopkins 0:46

Oh yeah. And Ivan, for our listeners out there listening to this podcast all the way through, what will they be getting out of this?

Ivan Konermann 0:55

Good question. The goal is that when everyone finishes listening, they're going to walk away with things they can do differently in reviews this year, things they can do differently throughout the future, so that they're able to start to put things into practice that are going to make any future reviews, either on an annual or semi-annual or whatever the basis is, make them a lot easier and a lot more effective.

Heather Hopkins 1:19

Easier for I know you and I have been in that position. It can weigh heavy.

Ivan Konermann 1:26

Yeah, few things are worse, and I'm confident right now there are a lot of people who are going, I'm dreading the review for that person, for that guy. And I've been there, and I really want to make sure that we're helping folks not have those kinds of conversations that they can do something different to have a different exchange and also just have a healthier approach year-round.

Heather Hopkins 1:53

Yeah, spot on. In my experience and in our current client portfolio, I cannot tell you how many folks are coming to the table saying, I'm going to work on this over my break, over Thanksgiving, over Christmas, because I continue to put it off .. . And so, spot on with Ivan, guys, that if you're listening to this, you're going to be able to support yourself and not carrying that weight.

Ivan Konermann 2:15

Well, actually, you just hit on the first pattern that I would say, which is people put off these performance discussions, and then there's a surprise at the end of the year. How many times have you seen that, or how many times have you been working with a leader who has described that pattern?

Heather Hopkins 2:32

That's most of the time. In my own experience as well as with the clients that we're working with, being presented with that in particular for them.

Ivan Konermann 2:42

I did an interesting hybrid one time where I was telling a team member where they were getting off track. I wasn't making a point though of saying to them, this is going to show up at your end of your review, this is going to affect your performance uh evaluation for the year because of how you're showing up. I just kept this list. It literally was, I'm not kidding, it was 20 pages.

Heather Hopkins 3:04

Oh my gosh.

Ivan Konermann 3:05

Yeah, and at the end of the year, I had all this printed out. I was like, okay, great, I've got all this evidence. And then part of me is like, hey, dummy, you haven't made it clear enough for this person how this is all coming together. Like you kept dropping little seeds all throughout the year without escalating the intensity on any one of them.

Heather Hopkins 3:23

Yeah, I have experienced that as well, where on the other side of the table, the individual is saying, Yeah, I was aware, I was not aware of the consequences of this. And that that hurts just as much. That leaves that surprise factor on both sides to say, Whoa.

Ivan Konermann 3:40

I didn't know how big of a deal this was. Oh my gosh, now I get it. Well, okay, I couldn't have this conversation before. I was talking to a really good friend of mine about a few weeks ago when I was driving somewhere, and he said, he said something that really stuck with me. He said, he said, choose your hard. He said he was talking to, in this case, he was talking to his daughters about their futures and what they wanted to do. This though absolutely applies. You can choose your heart of do you want how much do you want to have a temporarily uncomfortable or challenging feedback conversation, and that person then changes how they're working, or do you want to choose the hard of working around poor performance or accommodating poor performance or sending all these other jacked-up signals about poor performance or your unwillingness to address it, and then having this end-of-year sword of Damocles hanging over your head waiting for you in December or January, because that that's a terrible option.

Heather Hopkins 4:36

Yeah. And at times it can be a surprise, and at times it can not be a surprise. Showing up in a different way. I've had clients come and say, Hey, I have received really high performance reviews. I'm an excellent the last three years, yet when I go to apply for a promotion, I'm being told no or that it's all in timing. I don't understand.

Ivan Konermann 5:02

Yeah.

Heather Hopkins 5:02

And that's really painful because those consequences not only impact that employee for years, there's so much of that weight that's being carried on the team of all the unspokens. And that's that really pulls at a leader's heartstrings because what's your ownership in that? And it show it's what is and is not showing up in those performance review conversations.

Ivan Konermann 5:24

Yeah, it could also lead to a real big erosion of trust where if people aren't being honest, if a leader isn't being honest with a team member, the team member maybe go, well, wait a minute, if they're not being honest with me about this, what else are they not being honest about? Because this is one of the most important things for me and how I get promoted, or how I'm considered for merit increases. And man, I like I want to have an honest concept, I want to have an honest conversation. Awesome. Alright, you want to jump into number two?

Heather Hopkins 5:55

Number two is the traditional pattern of too much, too much either good or too much bad, and then it ends up being a very lopsided conversation that can end up being uncomfortable all the way around.

Ivan Konermann 6:12

Where have you seen this show up and either bite you or bite someone else right in the behind?

Heather Hopkins 6:20

So I've seen and experienced both ends. When a leader is overly prepared with all the ways that someone is off track, it can be really demoralizing for someone to go through their review when the intent is to provide them feedback so that they can elevate and increase their performance. Um without that acknowledgement and balance of this is what you're doing well, and where you're on track, the result for the individual has been left with perhaps they have a lack of a capability, a lack of investment, underappreciation. And so in those moments, too much off track or only being focused on that can appear to be more of an interrogation at times in a performance review. Yeah, and not the piling on. And then on the opposite, too much good news. Even when you're perhaps clearly with clarity saying where they're off track, most of the time that leader's leaving with awesome.

Ivan Konermann 7:23

Sweet, nothing to work on. Nothing to work on. Oh wonderful.

Heather Hopkins 7:26

It was that, you know, asterisk or that that little hey and allowable behavior. I've experienced it, I've seen it, we are coaching our leaders through it, and it doesn't work.

Ivan Konermann 7:39

Yeah. It's funny because when you talked about too much off-track feedback, one of the things that and I've committed the sin, so I'm going to own it. What it also does is it makes it harder for the other person to know what to focus on. Yeah. Because if you come to me and say, Ivan, here's the eight ways you're off track... Holy crap, which one which one is most important, or how do I focus on that? And now to your m, I'm probably really nervous. I've probably got a lot of angst or a lot of concern about what in the heck do I do with this. And so now instead of saying, hey, here are the two to three things that are critical for you to focus on, it becomes, oh my gosh, I've got eight things to focus on, which is exceptionally difficult to do under good circumstances, much less under circumstances where somebody is really feeling that tension.

Heather Hopkins 8:24

Yeah, that that resonates with me is when the leader lacks clarity on what their expectations are, that will translate into the employee lacking a clarity on how they're showing up and performing, specifically when they're underperforming already.

Ivan Konermann 8:41

Yeah, and that ties into one of the ones we're going to talk about later, so we'll put a note about the technical performance. The third one is, and I've done this too, is I've accidentally made it about me, made it about the manager. And the way I did that was in some of my language. I would say, well, I see or I hear, and I would use statements that made it about instead of making the statements about, hey Heather, pattern you've been bringing to the table, or Heather, what you have been doing time and time again. And so the now when I work with leaders, the way I describe it is if this is Heather's performance review and the spotlight's on Heather, when I talk about I see or I think or I notice, I just widen that spotlight and I just walked right into it. And now this is now I'm an actor in this one. That's not the intent. The intent is to really keep the focus on you.

Heather Hopkins 9:32

Yeah, it's Ivan's performance review now.

Ivan Konermann 9:36

Yes. Oh, not the intent.

Heather Hopkins 9:39

Yeah. No, that's spot on when I had just worked with a leader who drafted out the performance review and challenged them to take out the word I.

Ivan Konermann 9:49

Nice.

Heather Hopkins 9:50

And it was really eye-opening to see and challenge them on how they're framing it. And I know that leads us to our next one, which is number four: the manager is underprepared.

Ivan Konermann 10:05

Yeah, that's where one of the things that has popped up a lot is folks who use like really big or really vague language. So, some of my favorite examples are things like, well, well, Joe, it's going be important for you to communicate better. Or, Joe, we're work on having more executive presence. What the hell does that mean? Like, what does that mean, or where has that been showing up? And it's just it's just fuzzy hand wave. I call it the fluffy cloud. It's not something you can really grab a hold of and say, Ah, I know exactly what to do and where to do it and what good looks like.

Heather Hopkins 10:38

Or they do too much talking as the manager and take up all of that airspace, which continues to show the employee that it it's about them. So I have experienced this and currently navigating our leaders through, how are you preparing for these conversations?

Ivan Konermann 10:58

Brilliant.

Heather Hopkins 10:58

And so being unprepared is not going to work.

Ivan Konermann 11:02

Yeah, and the other thing that comes up with unprepared is people will say things like, Well, well, Joe, your personality doesn't... They make it now like literally so tightly tied to that person, and that the person's going, Well, wait a minute, now you're telling me my personality is a problem. Well, this is just who I am. And when you when people feel like their identity is attacked, that that can create a whole different level of tension and stress than hey, the way you're showing up at work for your role, for your responsibilities, is off track. So this is where I I've been really encouraging leaders to say, stay away from the word personality, stay away from any of those things that make it about an individual, and just say, hey, in your role, this is what's required. This is the I like to use a phrase, this is the externally observable behavior. And folks who have listened to a number of these podcasts are probably going to go, man, I've heard those words before. Because now it's not about a personality, now it's about, hey, this is what it takes to perform this role at a specific level of performance.

Heather Hopkins 12:06

Yeah. And what you just gave, Ivan, was another area that we see as an opportunity, which is not having an example of what that looks like or having too many where they get lost in the sauce of the discussion. So love that we're highlighting when we say prepared, it's inclusive of having that depth of discussion ready.

Ivan Konermann 12:28

There's even more to go with that because it's not just having the depth of discussion ready, it's also knowing where to not let the conversation go.

Heather Hopkins 12:37

Oh, yeah.

Ivan Konermann 12:40

What just came to mind for you? Reflecting on performance reviews and how easily they can be hijacked. So having experienced it myself, and walking leaders through it right now, being prepared for where you are anticipating you do not want that discussion to go. This is not a negotiation. This is not a time where you're going to discuss all the reasons why it occurred and why the behavior was there. And coming in prepared as a manager for how to balance that conversation. Often with these timelines, performance reviews are due this time of year, and then performance discussions where you provide that maybe months after you submitted the paperwork. What's common in my own experience and with the leaders we're coaching is at times they're assuming that the preparation was in the writing and delivering to HR, and not in preparing to deliver the conversation. And it can be months in between. That's a really good point. That's a really good point. There's a corollary to the underprepared piece of it, which is it's not only is the manager underprepared, I've had team members who've reported me who have sent in performance reviews, and there was like a handful of ratings, and there's no narrative, there was no description, they hadn't done their part. And what I'm about to say probably is going to surprise some folks and raise some eyebrows, so good. I sent it back to them. I said, Hey, you've not described with any level of clarity how you how you have performed or hit these marks or how you've shown up in these particular ways. I said, It's your responsibility to put serious effort into this. So for everyone who's listening or watching this, and just know that it's not the manager's job to write a good review for the team member. It's the team member's job to demonstrate how they've been doing a good job at hitting the role requirements, both technically and behaviorally, throughout the year.

Heather Hopkins 14:47

You know, one of the biggest pushbacks that we hear is what does it even matter? So this actually comes up pretty often with team members, both in my leadership experience as well as with our clients, to say, hey, the team member is stating, why should I put any effort into this? It doesn't matter, reviews are going to be what they are, you know, when they begin to take on that mentality, and we stay in the ring with our clients and our leaders to say, it is you're you as a team member, you are in charge of your career and how you show up. And you are not showing that when you do not do these performance reviews with integrity and accuracy. And that is your choice.

Ivan Konermann 15:35

Yeah.

Heather Hopkins 15:36

And continuing to support our leaders in that because often they'll get wrapped around that axle, and it creates this spiral of off-track behavior that continues to lead to difficult discussions and performance reviews.

Ivan Konermann 15:50

That's really good. The language I like to use, and this this connects also with um with number point number three about making it about the manager is there's so many times where I'll be I'll be working with a leader and they'll be getting ready to have a formal or an informal uh performance conversation with someone, and they'll start to use language like, Well, I really want you to do this, or I really need you, or we need you to do that. And I remind them you're making it about you, yeah, or the Imperial we instead of focusing it for that individual. So if Joe really wants to get promoted, I could say, hey Joe, if you really want to get promoted, then you're going to want to demonstrate this thing, or you're going to want to show up this way in these kinds of meetings, so that you're demonstrating that you're ready. You're showing that you're ready to take on that next role, that next kind of responsibility. Now I'm connecting what Joe gives a shit about with what I give a shit about, which is how they show up and support this effort or support this project, and it's no longer just that well, I want or we need because you could go, I don't give a rip what you want. You know, that's your problem, Hoss. Like I'm just working, I'm looking out for number one. Well, now I just connect with what number one wants with what I want.

Heather Hopkins 17:07

That flows beautifully into number five, which is this overly focused on technical performance. I have so my leadership spirit experience and background, I have had many technical engineers, analysts reporting into me, and it is a common trend to have that individual come to the table with a long and lengthy bullet list of all of the technical accomplishments and submit it as the total package performance review and be really proud of it.

Ivan Konermann 17:42

Yeah.

Heather Hopkins 17:43

You know, which, of course, be proud of the work and the results that went into it. However, it always lends itself to a really interesting conversation when it's not solely about the technical performance, and that at times can be very shocking and jolting to individuals, both the manager and the team member.

Ivan Konermann 18:04

I was the guy who did that sometimes, and in order to create some of the technical results I wanted to create, I, this will probably not be a big surprise, I took a rather a rather strong-handed approach, or perhaps bulldozed or cajoled people in a way that I in the moment got what it was I was wanting, and I left a pretty steady trail of people who were pissed, people who were like, I'm not working with that dude again, or I'm not working on that project anymore. And that was where I got to the technical goal line. I just did in a way that that wasn't necessarily healthy, wasn't necessarily productive, and that just created problems for the future. And that's where sometimes leaders aren't sure how to describe that holistically, so the employee the employee or the team member sees the totality of that performance.

Heather Hopkins 19:01

That is such a slippery slope that we continue to see with our leaders is when they're going into these performance review conversations, this hesitancy to have that conversation, and at times just simply choose not to and focus solely on that technical performance that weighs on leaders. And the consequences are it holds back that team member from true growth and true potential, and it lends itself to have what will be toxic results on the team overall. Because at some point then there's what is now being implicitly acknowledged as poor behavior is acceptable because the end justifies the means.

Ivan Konermann 19:42

That's where when I when I'm working with leaders now and they're describing, I haven't had this conversation with Joe, my problem child, and I'll ask them, what message are you sending to everyone else on your team? And it is amazing to see their faces as that washes over them and they begin to realize, oh, I'm creating quite a problem for myself here.

Heather Hopkins 20:11

And what do we hear most often with Joe? Right? But he's my best leader. I can't do business without him, he's brilliant. Just no one wants to work. With them.

Ivan Konermann 20:22

Yeah.

Heather Hopkins 20:23

I can't give them a bad review. I need them!

Ivan Konermann 20:26

That leaves me... I have a bonus round. The number six I would offer is people will say, I can't be honest with them because they'll leave. Because they're so good. They're my most brilliant coder. They're my best salesperson. I worked on a team where our quote where our best quote unquote technically, numerically, best sales guy had created monster problems because of his drinking and doing some other things that were just way, way off the market. And nobody was talking about it. Nobody was talking about holding him accountable. And I start to go, well, what the hell? Like apparently this is accepted now. This doesn't make any sense. And so backing up a step from that into when people begin to tell themselves I can't have this conversation because they'll leave, they're locking themselves and the other person into this pattern.

Heather Hopkins 21:22

Absolutely.

Ivan Konermann 21:22

And it's incredibly unhealthy. It's also, not only is it chicken shit on the manager's part, it's also so dismissive of that of the other person. To think that the manager couldn't have a conversation with Joe, and Joe could handle like a professional, like a grown adult. Now, some people may be laughing right now, going, You don't know my Joe, and I'm going to tell you I don't. And there's so many times where you can prepare for that conversation, go in, and have that exchange so that it's a productive conversation without worrying about, well, what if Joe leaves? Here's another question: but what if Joe stays and continues to bring this kind of poor performance to the team? And what if other people start to do what Joe does because they go, oh, well, the manager's not doing anything about this. Apparently, this is okie dokie.

Heather Hopkins 22:08

Absolutely. It it will happen. It's predictable.

Ivan Konermann 22:12

Yeah.

Heather Hopkins 22:13

And time and time again, I I've been that leader of a Joe. And the weight that it carries with you, because I'm now having how many conversations in a week about Joe and curtailing it and seeking to appease everybody and trying to have everything work together, all because of the hesitation to have that conversation in that moment. And my bonus round would be that these conversations I have to wait until the performance review.

Ivan Konermann 22:47

Ooh, nice one.

Heather Hopkins 22:48

Yeah. So how often we speak with leaders who say, yeah, I've been documenting this. It's time to have this discussion. Hey leader, how long has this been going on? Years. When's the last time you had this discussion with them about this? Never. When are you planning on three months from now at their performance review?

Ivan Konermann 23:10

I've got a wicked set of notes though from that conversation.

Heather Hopkins 23:12

Yeah, I'm so glad. So that this facade that a performance review has to wait until a formal performance review.

Ivan Konermann 23:22

Yeah, so good.

Heather Hopkins 23:23

It doesn't. That's a fallacy, although it's a wonderful time to have all the documentation. That this is available at any time in any moment.

Ivan Konermann 23:33

Yeah.

Heather Hopkins 23:34

And it's far more valuable to all to have these on a consistent and timely basis so that the individual has the opportunity to course correct.

Ivan Konermann 23:44

Yeah.

Heather Hopkins 23:45

And the biggest hesitation at times is truly having the conversation and being equipped to have it in a productive way, truly framing that performance reviews and feedback are in support of that individual and yourself. And that that is a takeaway for me as a leadership advisor with Wingspan, I find so fulfilling in our role to be able to support leaders and knowing that's available to you right now.

Ivan Konermann 24:12

That that's so awesome. The language I've used with folks is, I'll use the driving analogy and I'll say you don't, even on some of the straightest roads I've ever been on, like in the middle of Kansas where I'm just going due west for hours, I don't ever just get the steering wheel locked in and put my hand over the steering wheel and then not move an inch. There's always a little bit of wind, or there's something in the road I want to I want to avoid. And I tell folks that's just like providing feedback. It's a little bit of a little bit of tuning here, a little bit of tuning there, because what it prevents is it stops that that vehicle from getting so far off the road that also requires a major turn, and that major turn feels really weird and can feel really hard, and a lot of times people are afraid to have that that frank of a discussion because the stakes have gotten so high that now they are like, oh my gosh, I don't know how to approach this.

Heather Hopkins 25:02

Yeah. That takes up a lot of a lot of energy, a lot of it can be really stressful for leaders to carry with them, and it's a hidden stress at times that is always in the background uh when you're managing that individual, when you're observing those behaviors in meetings and you're choosing to address or not address it most often. I find that most of our leaders are unaware of the true cost that that lack of a good quality performance review conversation is having on them all year round.

Ivan Konermann 25:36

That's brilliant. So for everyone listening to this, we wanted to cover , I guess in this case, seven of the most common patterns. What we also want to do was to let everyone know that if you're listening to this and you're thinking, I'm one of those folks, you're raising your hand going, holy cow, I don't know how to have those honest, routine, meaningful feedback conversations. Contact us.

Heather Hopkins 26:00

Yeah.

Ivan Konermann 26:01

This is exactly what we do. A lot of times people haven't seen good examples of this in business because this isn't taught in high school, this isn't taught in in almost any university or program or even a master's degree. And so this is where people just do what they see other people do, and usually it's either what's one of these things we talk about, it's avoiding it, it's coming in really hard, or it's something else that's simply not productive, and then the problems persist, the manager and the employee both are really disappointed in what's happening and frustrated, probably, and nothing's being addressed.

Heather Hopkins 26:37

Absolutely. So, some of your signals, y'all, if you are a leader who is doing performance reviews across your holiday on the weekends, late at night, you're off track. And it is signaling that partnership would benefit you so that you're not in that avoidance stage. It was our strong signal. So if that's you, reach out.

Ivan Konermann 26:56

If you can get ahead and avoid some of these things, you will be not only supporting yourself, supporting your team, supporting the business, you'll also be leading without the BS.