EP 61: Trusting The Bigger Picture

Sometimes the moments that feel like setbacks are quietly moving us toward something bigger.

In this episode of It’s All Relative, Cara

 shares a personal story about an unexpected series of events that ultimately allowed her to help a family in need. She uses the story to reflect on teaching, leadership, difficult seasons, and the importance of trusting that there may be a bigger picture at work.

For dance teachers, educators, and studio owners, Cara encourages us to stay aware, open, and willing even when life feels overwhelming or things aren't going according to plan.

Cara talked about:

• Finding perspective when setbacks and disappointments happen
• Trusting that there can be a bigger purpose behind unexpected changes
• Staying aware of the needs and opportunities around you
• Balancing strong goals with a soft, open heart
• Remaining willing and flexible when you feel like you have no more capacity

3 Things Cara Challenges Us to Practice:

1. Stay aware.
Instead of immediately assuming something is going wrong, ask whether there may be something happening that you can't see yet.

2. Stay open.
Keep a strong sense of yourself and your goals while remaining open to the people and opportunities around you.

3. Stay willing.
When your first instinct is to say no because you don't have the time, capacity, or resources, consider where you can remain flexible and say yes.

As educators and leaders, our impact isn't only found in what we teach. Cara reminds us that awareness, an open heart, and a willingness to respond can help us make a greater impact, even in seasons when everything feels like it's working against us.

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Transcript

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Welcome to It's All Relative, the podcast where dance technique meets purpose, progress becomes visible, and passion fuels the path forward. I'm Kara Dixon, co-founder of Relative Motion, and our team is made up of professional dancers, teachers, and choreographers here to make high-level training feel doable, measurable, and exciting again. Whether you're a teacher searching for fresh cues, a dancer craving more clarity, or a studio owner chasing a bigger vision, this space is for you. Each week, we'll break down complex technique, dive into real studio strategy, and share tools that spark transformation from the inside out. Because in this community, we train with intention, we lead with love, and we know that better dancers start with better teachers. So let's grow, let's move, and let's rise together. Because at the end of the day, it's all relative. Hi friends, good morning. Welcome to our next episode of It's All Relative. I'm so excited that we're here together today. And I hope that your season so far is going great. So I typically go through our episode with quick tips, takeaways, things like that. And today I'm just going to bring us on a different journey where I go into a story, a personal story of mine. And as I go through the story, it's going to circle back. Even though the story itself doesn't feel dancer-related specifically, I'm going to circle it back and I'm going to talk about us as teachers, as educators, as business studio owners, whatever it happens to be, wherever you are in the industry as a leader, I'm going to circle that back to you. And so this story is really about being aware in the world and making an impact. And I think anywhere where we are teaching, we're doing it because we want to make a difference. We're doing it because we want to make an impact. Teaching is legacy work. And so there is so much going into it that feels maybe unrelated to what your legacy is going to be, but it all circles, it's all part of the same picture. And as I go into the story, I am going to be referencing God and I'm going to be referencing like a bigger picture. And I know that that reference is not going to feel like a good fit for everyone. And I am okay with that. But also I really want to encourage you, even if that's not where you're at or how you think or feel, I want to encourage you to stay in the story with me because it does unfold and circle back to something that's really a takeaway for all of us. No matter what you believe, and no matter what you go through life, with, you know, we all have different thoughts. We all have different ingrained beliefs. We all have different ways we see the world and different perspectives and experiences. And so even if the story doesn't line up completely with your beliefs or your experiences, I want you to stick with me because we're going to come full circle and we're going to wrap it up in a way that this applies to everybody that is listening today, no matter what. So I'm going to go back and I'm going to talk about this day. I was in my bedroom and my son, he is now 10, but at the time he was nine, he was going through the drawers in my nightstand right beside my bed. And he goes, Hey, mom, look, you have a few dollars in this drawer. Now I have no idea how many years a couple of dollars were in my drawer. It's like a dollar here, a dollar there. And I think what happened was, you know, maybe I was cleaning out my purse or something, and there was like a dollar in the bottom, and I just stuck it in my drawer, like whatever. But anyway, so he took out a couple of dollars. He's like, I'm gonna go put it in your purse. And like, okay, great. You know, like it's probably been years and I've never done that. So thank you so much. And so that was just a small little event that happened that day. Fast forward, I go and I do a contract in Florida, and my flight down there was direct. And so it's just like a two-hour flight. My flight back, I tell my family, yeah, you know, my flight back leaves at 5 30. It's direct, so I'll probably be landing around 7:38, you know. So I'll see you guys first thing in the morning right when the kids wake up. Well, I find out because I'm double checking my flight that I actually have a layover. So I told the kids and my family, I'm like, okay, actually so sorry. I'll actually be home closer to 10 because I have a layover. And so we kind of pushed it back a little bit. So then my layover, my next flight gets pushed back, it's delayed a little bit. So I told them, I'm like, hey, you guys, sorry. I'm so bummed, but like I actually am not getting in until like 11, 11:30. Uh, you know, I know that's like our whole morning. We were hoping to spend the time together. But when you pick me up, let's go to our favorite Mexican restaurant because the airport's like almost an hour from my house. The Mexican restaurant's right there, so we hardly ever go. And so I was like, it lines up perfectly with lunch. Let's go to this Mexican restaurant. So even though I'm bummed about all the changes, I'm excited to spend this afternoon with my kids and my husband. We're just excited, right? And so I land, we get going, we pull in to the Mexican restaurant. And mind you, as you're following the story, I should not have been in this area at this time. We never would have gone to this restaurant at this time otherwise. So we pull in, and as we're parking, a car pulls behind us, sort of to like, it's not like blocking us, but you know, you wouldn't back back up, you know? And so I'm getting out on my side, my husband's getting out on his side, and the man gets out of the car and starts talking to my husband. I can't hear what they're saying. And so my husband pops his head back in the car and he goes, Hey, do you have any money? And I was like, Yeah, sure. Hold on one second, my purse was in the back. So I go, I grab my wallet out, and I come to the front and I pull out $40, which like between the two of us, he would have the cash. I typically do not carry cash, but we had a babysitter and so I had $40. So I pull out the $40 and something kind of whispers to me, kind of in my soul, like, pull out the $1 too. Like, you know, like my son had put these couple of dollar bills in my wallet, and I was like, Oh, one dollar, you know, like, and so I pull out the dollars and I go, okay, actually I have $43. And so I hand them to my husband and he's like, Are you serious? And I was like, Yeah. And he goes, he literally asked me for exactly $43. That's exactly what he and his family need to stay in the hotel overnight. And I was like, What? And I thought he was kidding because that how crazy is that, right? And so I was like, really? And he was like, Yeah, and I thought, man, all the things that had to line up for me to have $43 in my wallet, for me to be at this restaurant at this time. So many things had to line up precisely, and not in that moment, but months before it, up until that moment, unfolding. And so I've been thinking about this story from two perspectives. One, there's this man who's trying to provide for his family, he's in dire need. They need somewhere to stay. They need $43 to make this work for his family. And in his mind somewhere, he thought something told him, Ask those people. Something in his mind moved him to come up and ask us. In the same respect, we're the type of people that would say yes. And also, all these things lined up for us to have exactly $43 in my wallet, the exact amount. And I would have given $40 because I was like, oh, random crunched up dollars or whatever. But then something told me, no, offer everything you can find in your wallet. And it was $43. And so I think about this from the perspective of how long on my end these things were lining up. And then on his end, how he was in this need, and who knows how long he was really worried about this. But something told him, ask these people. And he couldn't have even seen us or known who we were, what type of people we were, because we just pulled our car in. It's not like you see someone and you kind of make a quick judgment, you know. He just knew to ask, right? And so on the flip side of that, all these things are lining up on our end. But to me, the day is not going great, you know, like I have this layover I wasn't expecting. So I'm already getting home two or three hours later. Oh my goodness, now that's delayed. I'm so frustrated. I'm kind of in a rush. I just want to sit down and have this meal with my family. And yet there was a willingness and openness to stop and sit there in this moment and be like, of course we can help. You know, and so I want to look at this story from two different perspectives because I feel like as teachers, there are so many moments. And then also as business owners, there's gonna be moments where you feel like the guy in the car, right? Maybe there's a situation that comes up and you're up against the wall and you're like, oh my goodness, am I gonna be provided for? Am I gonna get through this? And I think this is a really important story, especially at the beginning of a season, because we're probably refreshed, we're probably feeling a little more replenished. That this is something we can circle back to when it gets stressful, when it gets hard, maybe when funds are low or resources are low. And just knowing that sometimes you might feel like you're up against a wall, you're coming up against something that's bigger than you. There's a wave coming, it's gonna crash over your head, it's way bigger than you are. And wondering when's the provision coming? When is the rest coming? When are the resources coming? So that's like feeling like the man in the car that asked, where it's like, oh my goodness, is this hard season ever gonna open up? Am I being provided for it? Is there something bigger than me that's gonna come through? And then on the flip side, you might be in that moment where you're just rushing through the season, you just have so many things to do, and your checklist is so long and you've had disappointments or setbacks or whatever it happens to be, but you feel like you have to hyper focus on yourself in that season. Like, I need to hyper focus on just getting through this thing, just getting through this checklist. Maybe this is a tough week, but once I get to next week, and like just all joking aside, but I am gonna say it like a quick joke, is I am always like, oh yeah, it's really busy right now, but you know, next week everything's gonna sell down. Well, in the next week, the list is piled up again and it's just super crazy. So I kind of laugh now because I'm like, are we really gonna have one of those seasons where it just all settles down and is calm, or you know, just get used to being fine in that chaos and finding those moments of rest no matter what. And so we might be in the the season of checklists and the season of just gotta get it done, or I'm kicking off a new season, everything that needs to happen and all the people that need follow-ups and all the things. And so, just like me in that moment where I already felt like, oh, I'm behind and now I'm behind again, and now I'm behind again, and now I'm so hungry and I just want to spend time with my family. But when the time came that there was a need, being open, right? Being able to slow down, being able to say yes, being able to make space in a moment where maybe you felt like you didn't have any more capacity. And so I want to bring this back to us because first of all, that story is so crazy to me. And in small ways, there were so many shifts that had to line up for that to unfold the way it did. There were so many little things. Like if my son wasn't going through my drawer and insisting on putting the money in my wallet, if my flight didn't get delayed, if we weren't like, oh, you know, why don't we just go eat here? If all these little things didn't line up, that started months before, this moment wouldn't have unfolded in the way it did. And even the $40, I wouldn't have had that, but we had just had a babysitter and we paid our cash. So that wouldn't have even been like all these little things had to line up for that exact amount of money and our exact timing to line up. And so I just want us to first of all bring awareness to how things are lining up, even if it feels like they're lining up against you, like when my flight was longer, got delayed, or whatever. It felt like my day was lining up against me, right? But how many shifts are happening that aren't what we would have originally chosen, right? That are kind of like shifted because of an outside thing that end up lining up in our benefit. And when a moment like that happens, I also think back to other stories where I felt disappointed in the moment, but long term, it ended up working out in my advantage, long term. There's a bigger picture, there's a bigger purpose behind the smaller disappointments. And so always being aware that it's not about the smaller disappointments, that there's a bigger shift, there's a bigger energy at play. Now, for me, I can look directly at God and be like, man, way to save me in that season. Thank you for the disappointments. Thank you for lining this all up. Thank you that I was able to be a blessing to this family because of things that didn't feel like they were lining up for me here. That blessed me a billion times more being able to help somebody else than if I had just gone about my day. Right. And so, as teachers, and I want to circle back to that now, as teachers, our goal is to make an impact, right? Our goal is to make a difference. And so there are gonna be seasons where we feel like the person in the car where I'm being pushed and I have no more resources left and I'm up against a wall. And what are my options? And I just want to challenge us to stop and be like, is there something bigger at play here? I'm always gonna be provided for. There's always gonna be provision, there's always gonna be protection. And how do I lean into that more? How do I have the faith in the provision? How do I have the faith and the protection in the season where I don't see it quite yet? And I imagine for that family, they were like, oh my gosh, we're always being provided for, right? We're always being protected. There's always provision. And yes, there might be tension in that waiting season, right? There might be tension leading up to that. And that's okay, right? That's okay because in the moments of tension, that's when we really have to call in our faith the most. It's really when we have to step into something that's beyond us the most, is in those moments. And so I really want to challenge us there. And I want to challenge us on the other side that sometimes we're just gonna be going about our day and we're not gonna have capacity for more things. And so, first of all, being aware, staying aware, staying open, staying like, is there a need here? Am I being shifted because I'm supposed to be on this path instead of the other path? And like instead of moving into it with frustration, which this is me preaching to myself too, because I will be like, oh, my flight, I have a layover. Oh my goodness, now it's delayed. I'm so frustrated. This just isn't my day. You know, and if that sounds like you and maybe the way you talk to yourself sometimes, that was me. I was like, this is not my day. I was supposed to be home at this time. This is so frustrating. Oh, like I bet the whole day is gonna be off because of this. You know, we can catastrophize these feelings as well and assign them to the whole day or assign them to the whole week or the whole season. And so being more open, being more like, is there another perspective to this? Is there more at play? Are there shifts happening here that I just don't see yet? Then also with that, keeping a strong sense about yourself, but a soft open heart. We don't want you to soften up so much that just you're floating around and there's no integrity to what you're doing. You want to stay strong in your goals. You want to stay strong in how you show up, but you also want to keep a soft open heart. You want to be able to really connect with something bigger. If a child has a need, if a family has a need, if you would have missed it if you were on your checklist, if you were on your schedule, but you were soft and you were open, that is gonna be when you're a difference maker. That's gonna be when you're making an impact. And then the last thing is just being willing. And there's a lot of times when something's gonna come up to us, and the first thing we're gonna think is nope, I do not have the capacity for this, I don't have the time for this, I don't have the resources for this. It's a no. But is there a way when we're staying open, when we're staying softer, that we can also stay more willing? And sometimes I do this with my kids, you know, like it's hard when you're parenting because a lot of things kids are gonna try are like a no, right? And I have three boys, so it's like a little wilder than maybe the typical household. But there was a season where I felt like many things coming out of my mouth were no, stop or don't. A lot of it was dangerous. Like they just throw themselves out the back of the couch or like whatever, run, run towards like a sharp object. But the season was a big no, stop or don't, right? It was that season. It's like I can't say these three words one more time. But in that moment, I said to myself, okay, since that's the season we're in, anything I can say yes to for them, I'm gonna say yes. So if they asked me, like, hey, you know, can we do this? And maybe I was too tired, but I was like, you know what, I've said no so many times, I'll be like, yes. If it's something that maybe is a little iffy, like, oh, I really don't want them to take out this many toys right now, but you know, what's the harm? Like, can we play with all of these Legos? Yes. Can we, you know, do this? Yes. And if it doesn't have to be a no, make it a yes. We don't need to make a rule around it. We don't need to like add on more no's. And so sometimes on the bigger scale in life, we feel pushed to capacity, but there are things we could say yes to, right? But our inclination in those moments, because it is hard, is to say no. And so just encouraging you also to just keep a willingness, keep a flexibility, keep that softness, stay strong where needed, but like soft heart and a yes spirit, right? And so just as we're wrapping up, I want to share that that beyond your dance technique, beyond anything that you're giving your dancers that feels a little more tangible, having a willingness, having an open, soft heart, and having the awareness, right? We're aware, we have an open, soft heart, and we're willing. If we can keep those three things going, we're gonna make the biggest impact that we can as educators. And there are gonna be times when it feels like everything's coming up against you. And I assure you that there is provision, there is protection, and everything is working out in your favor. It's just a bigger picture story that you're in the middle of. So I hope this helps you. I hope that it encourages you. And until next time, enjoy your week. That's a wrap on today's episode of It's All Relative. Thank you for spending your time with us. We believe what you bring to the dance world matters, and we're honored to support the way you teach, read, and inspire. If this episode moved you, made you think, or gave you something new to try, hit that subscribe button so you don't miss what's next. You can connect with us anytime at Relative Motion Dance on Instagram or visit relativemotiondance.com for more tools and training. Until next time, keep growing, keep leaving, and keep dancing with purpose. Because remember, it's all relative.