Becoming HER. The Daily Shift

Becoming Her: The Daily Shift
You’re not chasing her anymore — you’re choosing her. In this episode, Tammy shares three simple daily shifts to raise your energy, reconnect with yourself, and step into the woman you already are.

✨ Small steps. Big alignment. Real transformation. 🔥

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hey, how are you? And welcome back to Tammy Talks. So if you listened to the last episode, Becoming Her, then you'll already know we went quite deep. We talked about how the version of you that you've been chasing isn't in the future. She's already inside you. We talked about conditioning, about how we've been shaped to be small, to be polite, and to fit into this box of what society thinks a woman should be. And how somewhere along the way we lost touch of who we really are. But we also spoke about something powerful. That she, her, has been there all along, just waiting patiently, quietly, just waiting for you to see her. So today we're going to take it a step further because it's one thing to hear it and to feel it, but it's another thing to actually live it. So today we're talking about how to step into her. Not someday, but today. This is where a lot of us get it wrong. We think that becoming her means this huge life change, quitting everything, divorcing the husband, running away for the kids, you know, reinventing herself overnight. But it's not like that. Becoming her isn't about someone new. It's about aligning with who you already are. And alignment doesn't have to come from big dramatic moves, it comes from small, consistent daily shifts. Tiny choices, tiny moments, tiny acts of coming back to yourself. Because who you are is shaped by what you do every single day. Everything starts with your energy. Before the actions, before the results, before the life that you want, there's your energy, your vibration, and your frequency. You're constantly transmitting energy, and what you put out is what you attract back. So if you're stuck in that self-doubt, negative self-talk, not feeling enough, then that's the energy that you're leading with. And we can all relate to that. We've all been the days where we've got up and you cannot get out of your own way. You literally, for whatever reason, hormones or what, you are just in your own way, and you've got that horrible, stuck feeling, maybe not feeling entirely like yourself, and everything from that moment moves that way the full day. Nothing in your eyes seems to go to go right, everything is just on that trajectory of everything's a bit shit. And I think that we can talk ourselves into that, but equally, we can talk ourselves out of that, and that is the beautiful thing. We can shift that energy, and I'm going to give you three simple, powerful ways to start doing that today. So let's talk about the one thing, the most important thing that people ignore, and that starts with your self-talk. How do you speak to yourself when no one else is around? Because if your inner voice is constantly saying, I'm not good enough, I can't do that, who do I think I am, then that becomes your reality. Your energy follows your thoughts. So we need to start catching that voice and shifting it. Not into a fake posity because I am not here for the fake it till you make it, but it's about support. So try this. Speak to yourself like you would your best friend, like your child. How would you speak to your child and how would you speak to your best friend? And then that's the care and compassion that I want you to serve yourself. Call yourself forward instead of calling yourself out, and replace that I can't with I'm learning. Because the way you speak to yourself is the way that you shape your life. So next, we're going to move on to movement, breath work, and nervous system. So next, we move the body and we breathe. Because your energy doesn't just live in your mind, it lives in your body. When you're feeling overwhelmed, anxious, snappy, and exhausted, that's your nervous system dysregulated. That's your body stuck in the stress mode. You're living in that sympathetic nervous system, that fight or flight. Oh, and as women in perimenopause and menopause, we know just how hard that is and just how debilitating that is within our lives. I honestly believe that I spent from maybe 2020 to 2024 in full-on dysregulated nervous system in that fight or flight. A hundred percent I can see that that's what was there for me, and that's a really dangerous place for your body to be. It's a dangerous place for your mind to be, and I think that with small steps and the right support, you can definitely, you can definitely change that, and this is exactly why I do the work that I do. Is it so that we don't need to walk through this journey alone? Um we have someone to support us and we have a community that can support us. So when we're in that nervous system dysregulated with the fight or flight, and living in that sympathetic nervous system, we are stuck in a chronic stress mode, and in midlife that happens way more easily. Our tolerance to being able to deal with things is not as equipped as what it used to be when we were younger, and that is all down to our hormones. So instead of pushing harder, what we need to do is to slow down and to regulate. Movement helps. Movement helps this so much. Movement is medicine, okay? And stillness is where the magic happens, is what I always say to my clients. So gentle and intentional movement. So even things like walking, stretching, swaying your body back and forth, and dancing in your kitchen, get yourself a good tune on. I am a big advocate of this. Get some music on, something that brings you joy, something that takes you back to a space, a place, and a time when you felt just utter magic. Maybe it's in the car. I love to get a song on in the car, turn it right up, and just sing away to myself. So, whatever that is for you, get that bit of music on and move your body. But one of the most powerful tools that you have, and it's completely free, and we've been doing it since the day we were born, is breathing. So let's do it together. Let's do it right now. So if you're in a space where it's safe to do, so I want you just to soften your body, drop your shoulders, relax, ground down through your sit bones, lengthen through your spine, create this beautiful long line between your ears and your shoulders. Feel the earth connect through the tailbone, through your sit bones, and then this beautiful line all the way up through the body, up through the crown of the head, connecting with the sky. Feel that connection beneath and above. And then I want you to unclench your jaw, unclench your glutes, and then relax the tongue away from the roof of your mouth. Place one hand on your heart and the other one in your navel. And we're going to take a slow breath in through the nose for four. Three, two, one, hold it gently for two, then slowly exhale through your mouth for six. Five, four, three, two, one. Inhale through the nose. Four. Three, two, one, hold for two. Slowly exhale for six. Five. Four. Three. Two one. One more time. Deep breath in through the nose for four. Three, two, one. Hold for two. Slowly exhale a sigh through the mouth for six. Five. Four. Three. Two. One. Breathing in the calm and breathing out attention. Good. This is you telling your body, I am safe, I can slow down, and I am in control. One of the quickest ways to regulate the nervous system and calm the body down is actually to take a deep long exhale. Not a deep long inhale, just a normal breath in through the nose, and a long, slow exhale through the mouth, letting the full body just drop. Kind of like what you do when you get into your bed at night after a really busy day. Even just one minute of this can shift your entire state. It brings you out of that stress and back into your body and back into your power. Because when your nervous system is calm, it thinks clearer, you feel safer, and you can actually hear yourself again. Now here's one of my favorite ones. And this is your daily joy and gratitude, gratitude to raise your frequency. This is where the magic happens. So many of us are focused on what we don't have and what's not working for us and what's missing from our lives. But here's the truth: what you focus on expands. If you focus on lack, you will feel lack. If you focus on joy, you'll create more joy. So start small, find your daily joys. And I talk about this every morning. I do my daily joys and my daily breath work on my Instagram page. So if you don't follow the Instagram page, go over to Tammy Harkin, Menopause Coach, and give me a follow. In stories every day, I will do my daily breaths and my daily joy. And your daily joys don't need to be anything big or dramatic. It can literally be your morning coffee. It can be a quiet moment once you've dropped the kids off at school. Do you know when they slam the door and it's you felt as if you're in the fiery pits of hell for like maybe the two hours before school, and then you drop them off, they close the door, and you literally just like exhale into your seat. It could be that, it could be a song that you love, like when we talked about putting songs on and putting music on that that reminds of us a of a place, a space, and a time that was that felt good to us. It could be doing that, or it could be just something as simple as putting your face up to the sun. If you're here in Scotland, we don't get that a lot. But the days that we do, get your face to the sun and just be just allow a deep breath of gratitude to come into your body and be thankful for what is here, how we're breathing, how we are still able to live the life that we live. And it can also be gratitude of I got through today, I had a moment of peace, and I showed up for myself. Because you are a transmitter of energy, and your frequency shifts. And when it shifts, your life starts to shift with it. So becoming her isn't about chasing, it isn't about fixing, it isn't about becoming someone else. It's about speaking to yourself with love, care, and compassion. It's about moving your body with intention, it's about choosing joy and gratitude daily. It's all about aligning your energy with the woman that you already are. Because she's not waiting in the future. She's in your daily choices, she's in your thoughts, she's in your energy, and every single day you get to choose her. So here's the truth, Bomb. You don't become her overnight, okay? You become her in small, consistent moments where you choose yourself. So if you're ready to go deeper into this and you're ready to truly step into her and embody that version of you fully, I created something super special. My Becoming Heart masterclass, where I take you deeper into this work. I give you the tools, the mindset shifts, and the guidance to fully align with the woman you're here to be. Not the woman you're meant to be, the woman you already are, and the woman that you're here to be. And if this episode resonated with you, share it with a woman who needs this reminder. I am Tammy Harkin, and this is Tammy Talks. And remember, you're not chasing her anymore, you're choosing her.