How We Teach Kids Strength, Humility, And Heart By Modeling It Ourselves

Empowerment sounds inspiring until you’re navigating school drop-off tears, late-night worries, and the pressure to do it all with a steady smile. We pull the word down to earth and define what it really looks like to raise confident, kind kids who know their worth without slipping into arrogance. The heart of our approach is simple and hard at once: model what we want to teach. If we’re crushed by comparison or tangled in anxious loops, our kids hear that static even when our words are sweet.

We unpack the difference between strength and swagger, and why security is quiet. Then we get practical. Not into mirror affirmations? Try small daily intentions that you actually keep. Build consistency before you invite your kids into the habit. We share the underrated power of paying it forward—opening a door, covering a coffee, offering a sincere compliment—as a training ground for courage, empathy, and social confidence. Service reorients the day, softens anxiety’s grip, and shows kids that agency can be gentle.

We also talk about anxiety realistically: triggers, 2 p.m. spirals, and how choice returns when we plan reset rituals. Emotions are information, not enemies to hide. Instead of fixing every problem fast, we practice being the steady presence that says, I see this is hard; I’m here. That tone teaches self-regulation better than any lecture. We close with a question to anchor your week: What do you hope your child never has to unlearn—their voice, softness, confidence, or need for connection?

If this conversation helped, tap follow, share it with a friend who needs a village, and leave a quick review so more anxious moms can find us. Your stories and reflections shape future episodes—send us yours and let’s keep building this together.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

You're listening to the Anxiety Ridden Moms Club, the podcast for moms who love their kids deeply and still feel anxious, exhausted, and overstimulated.

SPEAKER_01 0:10

Here, we talk about the messy stuff, the thoughts we don't say out loud, the pressure to do it all, and the journey back to ourselves. Progress over perfection always. Let's go. Welcome back to the Anxiety Ridden Moms Club, the village you didn't know you needed, but you're really glad you found. I'm Kylie and I'm Gina.

SPEAKER_00 0:35

And today we're talking about a word we hear all the time in parenting spaces: empowered.

SPEAKER_01 0:40

Empowered kids, empowered daughters, strong kids, competent kids. But honestly, sometimes it feels like no one actually explains what that means.

SPEAKER_00 0:49

Right, because empowered sounds amazing. But when you're in the middle of real life, school drop-offs, big feelings, bedtime meltdowns, it can get confusing fast.

Confidence Versus Arrogance

SPEAKER_01 0:59

So today we're unpacking what empowerment actually looks like for kids, especially when you're an anxious mom trying to break cycles, not accidentally creating new ones.

SPEAKER_00 1:08

So let's start with confidence versus arrogance. Because a lot of us grew up being told to be humble or don't brag or, you know, don't be too much.

SPEAKER_01 1:17

And now we're raising kids in a world that says speak up, take up space, know your worth. Which is great, but confidence isn't about thinking you're better than anyone else. It's about being secure enough to not need to prove anything. Confident kids don't need to dominate the room. They don't need to win every argument. They know who they are without shrinking or overpowering others. And honestly, that starts with how we talk to them and about them at home.

SPEAKER_00 1:45

So this one's kind of big. I mean, we want independent kids, right? And capable kids, uh, kid who's kids who can handle everything. I mean, that's our goal, right?

SPEAKER_01 1:56

I've said it once and I'll say it again. Nora's gonna be president of the United States of America or end up in jail. It's kind of a toss-up. But I don't know, I I think this is an awesome topic to talk about because you want to empower your kids. But you also don't want to raise little assholes that no one can stand. Like it's such, in my opinion, it's such a thin line between Well, empowered can turn into arrogance is the problem.

Home As The Training Ground

SPEAKER_00 2:28

That's where the confusion comes into. So what makes them asses or people that don't like them is because your kids become arrogant and you don't want that, you want empowered, which really is truly just very confident in their own skin, but they still should be humble. So even like what we were told, I think, like, you know, back years ago was really about being humble and you know, don't be too much or whatever was really about the same subject. But I don't think it was really taught other than just a simply more about the I don't know, the humbled part, I guess. Or, you know, you always were, I think, overthinking like you didn't want to be too arrogant. And I think that everything kind of turned to a lot of arrogance, and I feel like everybody kind of I don't know, went that route. And that's when all of a sudden you're like, okay, these kids are asses, like they're you know, right? You don't know everything, you can't do everything. And then I think they got meaner. That's 1,000% sure. I think they definitely got meaner. I and I do think that um, you know, what we've talked about in the past too is uh in regards to family time, supporting, and all that kind of stuff. I think it 100,000 percent starts in your home and then it's about making sure that we're making our kids feel empowered, being that they're going to be feeling just confident to handle whatever life throws at them, not to think that they're that the arrogance of I'm so great and I can do it all. It's more about I can handle anything. I'm up for the challenge, whatever it may be.

When Kids Lash Out From Insecurity

SPEAKER_01 3:56

Making them mentally tough. And that's been a struggle in my house, you know, recently, just because this has been a very, very, very tough school year for my 10-year-old. And um I want her to be mentally tough. I also want her to know that she can come to me and rely on me for anything and everything. Um but we're definitely, we're definitely struggling. I feel like she goes when she feels down about herself, then she kind of lashes out on everyone else. So it's kind of like this thin line that's like, I want to build you up and I want to empower you, and I want you to know that you're beautiful, strong, and worthy of all of these things. But also like back it down because you're being a psychopath.

Can We Empower If We’re Not?

SPEAKER_00 4:40

Like it's it's a real struggle right now. We're okay. So here I'm gonna I'm gonna ask you this. Do you feel empowered yourself in your own life?

SPEAKER_01 4:51

Um and no, probably not. I mean, in some instances, yes, but I also feel very defined by my divorce still. Um, and being compared to the fun parent or my ex or um this constant pressure of like, well, at my dad's house or this or that. Like I I feel constantly under pressure and attack. So so no.

SPEAKER_00 5:21

So I think that that's kind of where a lot of this begins is I think about really even when we've talked about, you know, this we're gonna be empowering, you know, ourselves or we're gonna make ourselves better, or we're gonna be more confident and we're gonna do great things in life, you know. But we want our kids to have all that. And in our minds, I think we look at our kids and think, you're perfect. I mean, of course, I mean you're my kid, of course you're perfect, right? And I think that it ultimately turns into where we want to make things for them. But if we're not, if we aren't, don't do that ourselves, I d we have to find a way that we can show them. And one of the ways is us living that life. So really it's kind of like comes down to more about you. I gotta take a walk. It's okay. So because how can you teach somebody to be empowered if you yourself are not empowered enough? And obviously, we talk about anxiety and and anxious thoughts and issues that we all struggle with. But if we if we're struggling with them, we can't probably be the best teacher to our kids to teach them how to not struggle with those things. And some of our anxieties probably pour into our kids. So some of the things that go through our minds and our thoughts, we're actually projecting them without even meaning to, because we're saying they're saying the words of like, oh my God, you're amazing, you're great, you're gonna be, you're so good at this and you're so talented, but they hear your inner voice too, that you have, because it's kind of we kind of teach it to them, even not meaning to. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 6:46

So, how do we work on that? What do we do? First off, you need to go for a walk. Yeah. I'm sitting here nodding my hell, my head, like, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.

Affirmations, Mindset, And Consistency

SPEAKER_00 6:54

I'm hearing you, but what do we do to fix it? Group therapy? So I think, well, you know what? And this is our group, right? So this is our therapy. So I think that um I think that that's the thing is I hope to um some people really some people really like affirmations, right? So, like, let's say, even if you I mean, imagine even when you were young. Let's say you saw that your mom did affirmations every morning. Maybe your mom even like said them to you on the car ride to school every morning. And it was just like kind of her thing that she then was trying to help teach you to be able to think positive thoughts. You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_01 7:32

I've done that, and I'm like, we're gonna have a good day today. I think if you did it for a day or two days, like multiple, and they look at me like I'm freaking retarded, or they don't.

SPEAKER_00 7:39

But you have to tell you, I think you have to have a discussion about we have to we have to make changes in our lives together, not just you need to be better. I want to do that.

SPEAKER_01 7:48

Oh, and then we do it for two days and then never again. Which is what I know, I've got to worry about consistency. Oh my gosh. I didn't know this was gonna turn into a hazing session of me this this whole episode. I might have thought different.

SPEAKER_00 8:04

Uh well, that's why I figure when we when we were talking about this, I already knew where I wanted to. Because realistically, ultimately we have to, we have to be empowered to empower other people. And so if we're not empowered, I can't empower you. If I don't feel confident in my own skin, how can I teach you to be confident in your own skin? I can't. Now I can tell you, I am pretty confident in my own skin. I have my own things that can bother me or my own, just like when we went over fears. Yeah. I have my own fears in life. I have my own problems and issues too. But at the end of the day, I try really hard to not let those define me. And I try to be empowered myself because I know I can then help other people. And so I think that you have to ultimately um, you have to you have to come up with some different things that you feel could help you personally. And as you when once you get them and are doing them right for you, that's when you can include your kids. So, like I would tell you, like even like affirmations, the first step is not immediately, I'm gonna put my kids into it. You have to be doing them for yourself so that you are it's okay.

SPEAKER_01 9:09

You're talking about affirmations. Is this standing in the mirror and telling myself I'm beautiful every morning? Like, yeah, or and it doesn't have to be that you look at yourself in the mirror because you are beautiful, you are strong, you're calm.

Pay It Forward As A Practice

SPEAKER_00 9:19

It's that kind of stuff. But I think you got to look for different ones. I mean, I'm not, I'll be honest, I'm not a big, you know, huge wake up in the morning and say, You are great. You're so awesome. I can't do that. I'm I don't. But I mean, some people really like that avenue and it helps people think I'm back on the weed. And I'm just saying they'll be like, Are you a high? But I do think you have to tell yourself, just like when we talk about my dad, I'll say, It's gonna be a great day. Everything is a mindset. So it doesn't even have to be about I'm so amazing and I'm so great and I'm so confident. Because sometimes up to me, when I say those things, I'm like, okay, whatever. Like I still think of it the same way as I would if somebody else was saying it to me. But I think that it's about talking to yourself just to say, today is going to be a really good day. Today I'm going to learn something and make the effort to make that happen. Today I'm going to, you know what I mean? Like, there is something to learn every single day of your entire life, something, even if it's extremely small. But if you're not looking for it, you'll miss it. So it's, I think a lot of times, personally for me, it's not really, I guess, as much of an affirmation situation necessarily as it's more of like, what am I doing today? That's positive. I have to do something positive every single day. That could be, I'm going to pay it forward to somebody today. I'm going, I that's one thing I've even been talking to my husband about. He even said he went to, I think I might have even said this before. He went through like someplace and then somebody paid for him from the the car before. Uh-huh. And then he goes home and tells me, like, oh, some lady be in front of me, you know, paid for my drink. And I just start laughing. I'm like, yeah, it's called pay it forward. Like, we'll do it all the time. He didn't know. Did he think she was hitting on him? Yeah, I think he thought she probably was looking at rear view rear view mirror, going, Ooh, la la, I'll buy him a drink. So it was quite funny. But I did tell him, I'm like, those are things that you should look for to do. And I think it's like, did he tell it forward or did he just take the free drink? He didn't, because he didn't think it was a pay. He didn't understand. So on himself, yeah. So I said, Do you didn't pay for the people behind you? And he goes, What? I'm supposed to do that. Yes, Dingledorf, you're supposed to do that. And so I told him, I said, you know, like sometimes I've been in the dollar store even and I'm like, and there's somebody behind me, and they're just like the nicest person. And so I've I'll be like, I mean, seriously, we're in the dollar store. It's not like I'm doing some amazing deed, but maybe they have$10 worth of stuff, you know what I mean? And I'll just be like, I'm gonna take care of theirs because they're just the friendliest person. And I think sometimes I know that we are, and uh, there's other times to look for something that just looks, I don't know, maybe they look sad or something. So you do something nice for them, but I do believe in the pay it forward big time.

Choosing Happiness Over Circumstance

SPEAKER_01 11:50

So you're gonna get me off on a tangent about the the Dollar Tree. So um I freaking love the Dollar Tree, and um there is a story floating around about a lady, and you know how I love to butcher like the actual details of of stories, but she's 75, and the kid was, and I'm sure he's a content creator, doing his out there doing his thing. You know, we record everything these days. And she was 75 years old, her husband had died, and she was getting evicted from her apartment. She owed like$1,100 and she was um working at Dollar Tree just trying to survive. And I don't even know how it came up in conversation that she was gonna get evicted and she owed eleven hundred dollars on on her rent. Um, and it just kept evolving. You know, she's 75, she lost her husband, that she's still working just to freaking survive. And um he left, went and got her the eleven hundred dollars, came back, and he's raised her over like three hundred thousand dollars, um, just a public campaign and being, you know, I'm sure he has a platform online and has raised her 300. Like, how freaking incredible and cool is that? And we need to keep building this village so we can go out and raise people$300,000. I think that would be freaking awesome.

SPEAKER_00 13:07

So there's a there's like two guys that do that. They actually go to the home, a lot of the homeless people, even. And then they've like totally changed their lives uh completely around when they find those people who really are just on hard times and they're just they're good people that want to work and do the right things, and they've just shit's happened. Or there was like a guy who was like 82, like delivering pizzas or something, and a guy did that for him. It was so cool. So, because it's like that's crazy if you're 82 years old and you're still having to work. Like, seriously, like you should be able to stay home and relax and enjoy. You've worked all your life. So I I do I'm really big in the pay forward, very, very big in that. And I even told my husband, because he's not, he doesn't do a lot of that stuff, and I've always have, and I told him, I said, I don't really talk about it. And so, but we ended up having a conversation. I'm like, I do it a lot. Like, I I think that's really what started my inner thought changing was when I did things for other people and I realized what a big deal it was. So that's why to me, I like to tell you some people are like the affirmations to tell themselves, okay, great, I'm strong, I'm powerful, I'm blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And if that works for you, I'm all about it. But I also would tell you that if you can pay it forward, I really believe that does the same, if not more, for you because you feel so good that you did something so positive in somebody else's life and you made them feel better. And we can always dwell on all the negative things and we can always look at what's, you know, not good in our lives, but we have to figure out how we can find the positives. And I think that's the same for our kids. They have to look for anything that'd be bad in our lives, anything could be a problem. Our kids can, you know, so-and-so was not nice to me, so-and-so said this about me. Now I'm worried about what I look like. But reality of it is if what if we were telling our kids today we're gonna do something positive and good for somebody, and they did it maybe with us in hopes that eventually down the road they're gonna start doing those things even on their own. Positivity attracts positivity, negativity attracts negativity. That is just a fact. It just does. And so I think that that's some of the things that we need to really focus on and work on so that we are empowered, and then in turn, we can teach our kids how to be empowered and how they can help empower other people. Because I don't even think it's about empowered by ourselves. I think it's about us helping to empower everyone around us so that we all are better. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 15:24

I feel like that I'm way more suited, like that is definitely more my style than you are beautiful, you are strong, you are confident. I can't do that.

Intentional Daily Actions

SPEAKER_00 15:34

What's what's that uh there's a Saturday Night Live skit? He said it's hilarious. There's a Saturday night live skit that is on that is so funny. And it is one of the things that I think when I was a kid, it was like you everybody talked about it all the time, and it was so funny. And it was the whole thing about looking in a mirror and being empowered, and um it just it's just kind of like one of those things. That's what it makes me think. That's why when people got really big into um affirmations, I seriously like um thought it of all I could think of is this stupid Saturday night last year.

SPEAKER_01 16:06

You know what I need to do? I need to go, I need to um, well, if you find the skit, we can post it on we can post it on socials when we post this episode. But um maybe I need to get on Etsy and buy our affirmation cards. Practice what you preach, right? So I did see a tip and I wrote it down so we could talk about it. But the best pit best tip to staying positive and being confident is walk in every room like Jesus sent you. Because he did. Right. That's the truth. Every I'm gonna break out in song. Every step uh no, but for real, right? Right. Like we're here for a purpose. Yes. Every single day, like let's let's accomplish something, let's do something, let's be better, let's learn, let's grow. But we're here for a reason. Like, let's not waste it because today we'll never get today again. I don't know. I thought that was really, really, really cool. It's just we're here for a reason.

SPEAKER_00 17:05

So show up like yeah, like it matters. And it just like when some people say, you know, today could be your last day, which I think everybody understands that, but doesn't. But really, today could be your last day. So show up like Jesus sent you. Show up like Jesus sent you. You know what? That's uh I think we everybody should do. And I I think that I I that's why I just I don't know. I just think really I do I truly hope that my kids pay it forward, that they see things and they do it. And sometimes, you know, even Casey brought up just the other day, he's like, you know what? Sometimes I get tired of being the good person doing the right thing. Not everything good comes back at me.

Anxiety, Triggers, And Choice

SPEAKER_01 17:43

He's the second one, right? Yes. I feel like he's my spirit animal because I do too. I'm like, why do I always have to take the high road? Why do I always have to be the one paying it forward? Why am I the one that's kicked in the fucking teeth, but supposed to hold it together for absolutely everyone? Like it's a lot. And my anxiety and it just and and I think it maybe it's the second kid thing because you just feel like the world is always freaking coming at you and you're always on the defense. Like, I don't want to live, I don't want to live 2026 on the defense. I want to live it on the offense. I want to live it with intention and intentionally and what you know, like I And positively.

SPEAKER_00 18:23

And that I think that's the thing is that like that's why I say I think if you if you focus on everybody has bad shit in their life, but I think that the people I always admired, like somebody would tell me, like, you really need to get to know that lady. I think you'd really like her. She even lost her son to cancer, he had cancer, and he was like, you know, 20 or something like that. And I'm like, what? And it's like the happiest lady. And then you start talking to some of those people and you realize that they had to make it, they made a choice. You know what I mean? I think every single day is a choice. And there's you know, a lot of people now are talking about, you know, choosing happiness, and it is true. You have to choose to be happy. It isn't just like I think too many people look for what's gonna make me happy. Well, if I meet this person, they're gonna make me happy. If I have kids, they're gonna make me happy. If I do this, they're gonna make me happy. And one thing my mom told me before I ever had kids, and sh it probably was to a little bit to scare me not to end up pregnant before I was ever, you know, too early. But she would always tell me kids are a great blessing and they're wonderful, but don't ever think that they just bring you happiness. And she's like, and it's nothing against kids, it's nothing against them. But there's a lot of trials and tribulations from having kids. It makes life harder having kids. It does not bring relationships together, it makes them actually have more struggles. She's like, really think about it when you go to have kids, you know. And she's like, and I love having kids, but you I think there's too many girls who think, Well, if I just get pregnant by this guy, then problem solved. You know, he's he's gonna marry me and we're gonna be so happy. And then you find out really it just made it actually worse.

SPEAKER_01 19:57

Or you're married and you're stressed out and you're like, maybe one more baby.

Shutdown, Support, And Emotional Coaching

SPEAKER_00 20:00

Yes, no. No. The babies don't fix they don't fix anything. And they're wonderful, wonderful things to have. And they're I mean, I I love kids. I love kids. But I also know the kids can wear on your nerves. And I also know that if you have two people with two different opinions of how they were raised, it that causes stress and you know and struggles. So I just, you know, you do have to choose happiness. Don't think something's gonna make you happy because um there's a lot of times I have definitely had to give a lot of thought to my life and where it's heading and what could happen and what my future looks like. And it could be very depressing, or I can just look at it as I'm gonna go into every day being happy. I don't want to be I wanna be happy and I want my kids to see that in me. I I think the one thing is I want my kids to, if they were to remember me and to what I instilled in them is to be happy for yourself, not because of anything around you. Anything even that you've done, it's about you just being happy with who you are and that live life intentionally, you know, and pay it forward. I'm real pay it forward, people. 2026, I want I want everybody to find something even once a week, no matter how small it is, but do something for somebody else.

SPEAKER_01 21:17

Even just holding a door open for someone, like if you just pay attention, like I am I'm an observer where I like to just watch a room or watch people and you know how people react. And like you'll even get the craziest. Like if you, you know, stay back for five seconds to hold a door, they're like, oh my gosh, thank you. And you're like, what? Like that's you know, because people hardly do that anymore. It's immediately absurd. Yes, it's absolutely absurd. And like that's just something that I've always I've always done. If there's someone like I will take the extra five seconds and hold the door open for you, and people are genuinely like, oh my gosh, thank you so much. And I'm like, what? Like that should be normal.

A Question For Parents And Closing

SPEAKER_00 21:57

Um yeah, it's it's and imagine like that's the thing. Instead of talking to let's let's say, like with Nora, instead of talking to her about what's going on at school and what person's, you know, maybe giving her trials or tribulations, and you were to focus more on what can we do in the world to bring a smile to somebody else's face? What can we do positively and have her feel the joy of doing those things? And that it eventually it seeps into her doing that at school. And then eventually it actually exposes the people that are the asses. You know what I mean? Because you start surrounding yourself by all these people that want to do good and do good things and that you've affected and and it brings you joy to do those things, and then in turn you're you have these friendships that become on a more positive note. And so if there is somebody negative, lots of people start to see that. You know what I mean? And it and it can be it, it is, it is definitely contagious. Happiness can be contagious, you know what I mean? It it's one of those things that you can when you're happy and people want to be more around you. You know what I mean? Somebody wants to be around the grouchy fuck who's all the time in a bad mood or somebody who's just you know always got something to tell you about some sob frickin' story when you're like, I got five stories too, dude. Like at the end of the day, we all have a story. Let's maybe just figure out how we can bring something good or positive. Easier said than done. But it's a mindset. But it is a mindset. And it is about thinking about it intentionally in the mornings. So just like affirmations, you have to get up to remind yourself, you will look for something positive to do that day, that day, or you're going to find something that will is gonna make you happy, or you're going to do something for somebody else, whatever it is, but it should be something that what intentionally am I going to do today? And I need to make sure I do one intentional thing today. And it doesn't, like I said, it can be something stupid and small. You know what? This morning I woke up and I brought coffee to my man this morning because I know he would like that this morning. And that's it. That's what I did and made it happen. I mean, then another day it's I did this for my daughter because she it makes her happy, or I told a stranger outside who, you know, I liked something that they had or they smelled great. I had a woman walk by me. I was going in the hospital. Oh my God, she smelled so good.

SPEAKER_01 24:10

She'd like slip her neck.

SPEAKER_00 24:13

I'm really, I'm always like, I know it smells a lot. And so like I walk by and we were outside even, and I got walked. It was so good. I'm like, I had to turn around, I stopped, and I said, excuse me. And she's like, What? And I said, You smell so good. And she starts laughing and she said, Well, my friend smell um sells this stuff. And she, and I'm like, Really? And I'm like, I just want you to know how good you smell. And she immediately goes, Hold on a second, pulls it out of her purse and sprayed me with it. And I'm like, Oh, I could just smell like that all day. I'm like, Well, thank you so much. I don't even know that was a bad thing. Cause then she sprayed me and she's like, Have a great day. I did two, and we walked off. And I'm like, Well, god dang, and her friend sells it. I should have like stopped her and said, give me more information. But the interaction of that to me was so cool that she actually even like it made her feel so good that she then even sprayed me with that smell so I could smell like it all. It was just like the whole intentional thing on both sides. You know what I mean? Well, yeah, and that you took the time out of your day to to tell her that. And that she liked us so much that she then was like, Well, hold up a second. You know what I mean? It was just like that, even after I walked away and I thought, I don't even know what it is. It was just kind of a really neat moment to me. And it was really cool that she reacted like she did and just makes you feel good. And it just makes you want to like you're just in a better mood. You know what I mean? And I think if we could teach our kids to do more of that, you know, even just simple as like you said, excuse me, opening up the doors for people, you know, getting back to some of those traditional things that used to happen all the time. Um it could be huge. It could be huge. And maybe get your kids to, you know, there's some people to take their kids to soup kitchens to do that. That's I've never done that. I mean, some people do. I've never done that, but there's ways to find things to do. Or um, my daughter had was like wanted this year to do a, you know, the tree. I think it's at Walmart they do it where they have that giving tree or whatever.

SPEAKER_01 26:03

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00 26:04

Yeah. So I mean, like she it was her idea. She wanted to do something like that. She's like, I really think this would be kind of cool. I really want to do something. You know what I mean? I just think those things are what what helps. And I was really proud that she even thought on her own, I didn't have to tell her to do that. You know what I mean? That she thought, oh, this would be kind of cool. I'll do this. You know what I mean? But she makes fun of me about everything I do, but then she does do it. And my my boys did the same thing. I think they always would make it like I was I d you know, like in some ways they'd almost make it sound like I was being fake when they'd make fun of me. But then at the same time, they knew it it was neat, and so they would they'll they'll do different things. And I hope as they're they get older and older, they continue to do more and more because you have more ability to as you get older to do that.

SPEAKER_01 26:43

For sure.

SPEAKER_00 26:44

You know, money in your pocket and stuff that you can share with people.

SPEAKER_01 26:49

I love that. Yeah. I love that. Different, yeah, definitely things to think about and how, you know, to start their days differently and more positive.

SPEAKER_00 26:58

And um But you have to start your day positively for a while first before you do it with your kids so that you have it as a habit. So it doesn't just last two days and then it's over with.

unknown 27:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:09

We do it for two days. We're gonna be organized for two days and like bite me, kid. Like, but let's, you know, I think that anxiety plays a lot into that also, is just like when you have anxiety, you can start your day off positive and then those intrusive thoughts come in of all of the things that can go wrong today. And you know what I mean? Like it's I feel like it's super easy to get triggered by that too, and to kind of let those thoughts take over and, you know, kind of run your day, run your life, I guess, if you will, just because that anxiety, I feel like is never, is never quiet.

SPEAKER_00 27:49

I agree. I do agree. I think that it it can definitely shift your mind. But I think that's the I think that if you start your day by saying I'm gonna do this, that doesn't mean at 2 p.m. somebody doesn't tick you off and your day starts to crumble a little bit. But I think that it it's it's about starting your day the next day again that I'm gonna I'm not gonna let that bother me. Like, you know, one time uh, you know, it was said to me, you know, basically it's a choice if you get angry at somebody. So if somebody does something and you get mad, well, you're you chose to be mad. And I used to think that no, I didn't. Like they made me mad. Yeah. I didn't choose to be mad. They pissed me off. They pissed me off. So I think it's a them problem, not a me problem. But I did, I actually, it is true. It is true. Like a lot of times you you it is a choice, and the more you work on that, the more you understand that. So if somebody does something that really pisses you off, do you have to get really mad? You know what I mean? Like, do you have to like some of the things probably that you blow up at, do you have to get that angry? Probably not. So I think it's more about every day waking up with intentions of what you're gonna do to be always even better than the day before. And also, even if let's say it is a anxiety gets me by 2 p.m., then by 2 p.m. I'm gonna find a way to I gotta do something at 2 p.m. every day. I notice that becomes my trigger time. I think that that even is very true of anxiety. Some people wake up anxiety, some people go to bed anxiety, some people maybe have a two o'clock in the afternoon anxiety. So maybe it's about figuring out how to get past that so that I can help my anxiety. So maybe I don't get mad at people as much. Because all these things are a choice. They really are a choice. I mean, I'm not saying that there's aren't situations that somebody deserves to be, have you get angry with them, but you don't have to get mad at everything. We can like don't, you know, the whole don't sweat the small stuff.

SPEAKER_01 29:34

Don't sweat the small stuff, that's for sure. And we're we're learning, you know, not reacting, not needing anyone, not being dramatic. That's yeah, Nora likes to tell me that too. You're just being dramatic. I'm like, me being dramatic, you're being dramatic, my my beautiful butterfly daughter. But for me, I like to shut down an emotional shutdown is is kind of where I don't know if is it is it survival, flight or flight, left fight or flight. Like I don't I don't know. I like to shut down and and retreat when the anxious thoughts and feelings come in. So I think I've got to work on that too, not running and yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:23

I think it's easy to shut down. Well, I'm a shutdown person. If you back me in the corner, I just stop talking. I don't do anything, I don't move forward. But emotional shutdown isn't I think a lot of times like you think of it almost like it it seems in a way to some degree something people can feel like it's a strength, but it really it isn't. It's more how we survive, how we can I don't know. It's it it's it definitely emotions no matter what, which is why we have so much we can be talking about. It's hard, you know? It it just it's hard. And I do think it's about um surrounding yourself with positive people, and I think it's about doing intentional things every day.

SPEAKER_01 31:01

Yeah, and I think true empowerment is teaching our kids that feelings are information, not things that we shut, you know, stuff down or rush through or or hide from that we've gotta talk through and work through the emotions. Right. I agree. I agree. Um, and it's so easy to want to like not yes, to not talk about it. Like I don't want to talk about it right now.

SPEAKER_00 31:23

Yeah. I think it really you gotta sit with them in that discomfort instead of immediately fixing their problems, which is kind of like like I say, I think it's about us working on us that much more so that we can help them show them, you know.

SPEAKER_01 31:36

That's that's hard. And that's hard when you're an anxious mom because our instinct is to remove the pain fast. You know, I've joked about wanting to like punch, you know, little girls in the face. Right.

SPEAKER_00 31:49

We know that's not that's not good. No. But kids really do learn from that, from our emotional strength. So like if we stay calm enough to say, hey, I see this is hard, I'm here, we'll get through it together. I think that they they know that, they feel it, it can definitely make a difference.

SPEAKER_01 32:07

Yeah, then Nora will say, You're my only friend. I'm like, well, I'm the best only friend you could possibly have, my my child. Yeah. So I want to hear from our listeners this week. I want to know how you guys are empowering your kids every single day or week and kind of what that looks like from you.

SPEAKER_00 32:27

Right. So here's your question and take your time with it. What do you hope your child never has to unlearn?

SPEAKER_01 32:34

Is it their voice, their softness, their confidence, their need for connection? You can message us, comment, or just sit with it quietly because reflection counts too. Empowered kids aren't perfect, they're not fearless, they're not always easy. They're allowed to feel deeply, ask questions, push back, and still need us.

SPEAKER_00 32:54

And empowered moms, we're learning right alongside with them. You're not doing this wrong.

SPEAKER_01 32:59

You're doing it intentionally, and that matters. Thanks for being thanks for being part of this village. If this episode resonated, share it with a mom who's trying her best to. We'll see you next time, right here at the Anxiety Ridden Moms Club.

SPEAKER_00 33:13

Thanks for spending time with us.

SPEAKER_01 33:16

Take what you need, leave what you don't, and be gentle with yourself. And if you want to stay connected, follow us on Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok at the ARMC. And remember, you're not broken, you're becoming.