The ARMC

Choose Better Friends, Choose Better Days

• Kylie & Gina • Season 3 • Episode 6

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The table gets flipped early with a hard truth: you become who you hang with. We take that spark and go deep on friendships, gossip, jealousy, and the quiet ways our circles either drain us or help us grow. As anxious, overstimulated moms juggling a thousand tabs, we don’t need more “haters” memes—we need better rooms and kinder mirrors.

We start with the roots of gossip and resentment, tracing them back to insecurity and the groups we cling to for survival. Then we bring it home to our kids, because confidence has to start early. We share how to guide them out of limiting cliques, model healthier choices, and find peers who are kind, curious, and emotionally intelligent. Growth rarely happens in the comfort zone, so we talk about seeking spaces where we’re not the best person in the room—and why that’s a win.

Jealousy shows up for adults too, especially online. Those glossy “overnight success” posts can mess with your head. We reframe envy into action: study what works, support people without keeping score, and set micro-goals you can actually hit. We also get real about boundaries—unfollowing accounts that stir outrage, stepping away from keyboard wars, and protecting your focus like it pays the bills. Because it does.

The heart of this conversation is the rebuild. We ask the uncomfortable question—am I the drama—and use the answer to reset our patterns. Better friends won’t require yearly exits. Better rooms won’t need us to prove, perform, or protect. If chaos keeps circling, it might mean you’re outgrowing the space, not that you’re broken. Come sit with us as we choose people who love their lives, share wins without resentment, and pull each other up.

If this resonates, hit follow, share it with a friend who’s leveling up, and leave a quick review so more moms can find their room.

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Welcome And Table-Flip Clip

SPEAKER_02

You're listening to the Anxiety Ridden Moms Club, the podcast for moms who love their kids deeply and still feel anxious, exhausted, and overstimulated.

SPEAKER_03

Here, we talk about the messy stuff, the thoughts we don't say out loud, the pressure to do it all, and the journey back to ourselves. Progress over perfection always. Let's go. Welcome back to the Anxiety Ridden Moms Club. And this episode, we're going to start a little bit different. I ran across someone by the name or by the handle, I guess if you will, of Real Talk Kim on Facebook. Again, it's Real Talk Kim. And we're going to start by playing a clip from Kim. Hold on just a second.

Birds Of A Feather And Gossip

SPEAKER_00

Birds of a feather flop together. Who you hang with is a mirror of what? I ain't never seen one person that's ever successful in loving life that gossips about people ever. You gotta go find people that love their life so they don't resent yours. If you would find people that actually love their life, you wouldn't have to put up meetings every day talking about haters. I know that to be true. I did it. Every year I was cutting off people. If you didn't my news feed, you've been deleted. And one day, because you are you are drum, and one day I heard the word say you hit if you would find better friends, you would have to cut them off every year. But you can't find better friends because you don't even like you. You gotta love your life so you don't resent other people's blessings. Birds of okay.

SPEAKER_03

There is a lot to unpack. I actually I sent the clip to Gina and I'm like, do you think we could have a whole episode of this?

SPEAKER_02

Oh yes.

SPEAKER_03

And we're going to. Yep. So taking a second after that clip, like I said, there's there's a lot to unpack there.

SPEAKER_02

I agree. I loved it. Honestly, I loved it. Because that clip did not come to play. It walked in, flipped the table, and it left. It did.

SPEAKER_03

And if you're already feeling defensive, just stay. That is your sign. Oh, yes.

SPEAKER_02

That is your sign.

SPEAKER_03

This episode is not about shaming anyone. It's not about you're the problem. It's about rebuilding and specifically rebuilding who you allow close to you.

SPEAKER_02

And as moms, we've all had survival friendships, convenience friendships, trauma bond friendships, school pickup friendships. That's how we met.

SPEAKER_03

Trauma bonding. Our trauma. Trauma-based or trauma-bonded friendships. Yes. Okay. So let's, we're gonna just kind of break this down from the beginning. So I will be singing Birds of a Feather.

SPEAKER_02

Flock together.

SPEAKER_03

Flock together.

SPEAKER_02

So true.

SPEAKER_03

So so so true. So who you hang with is a mirror of what? She says, I ain't seen one person that's ever successful and loving life that gossips about people ever. You've gotta go find people that love their life so they don't resent yours. That is so right. So gossip. I feel like people that gossip are gossiping probably because why?

SPEAKER_02

For the most part, jealousy, which is an evil, evil thing. But I swear I think a lot of it's jealousy. So because you're insecure in your own life.

Teaching Kids Confidence Over Jealousy

SPEAKER_03

And unfortunately, this is from the wee ages of we. No, I guess what I'm getting at is I can't believe how quickly the jealousy starts in life. Like we've talked over and over and over again about Nora really struggling and like the thing she gets picked on for you from outside looking in, it's jealousy. So how do we start, how do we teach our kids from a very early age to be content with what they have and to not be jealous of others? Like I feel like it all is one big vicious circle. It's confidence. It's if you don't have the confidence in yourself, you tear down someone else. If you don't if you're jealous of someone else, you're gonna talk about them, you're gonna talk shit about them. It's it's like this vicious cycle. And it is from when we're 10 years old, probably even younger, to to now. It's things that I battle with now. So it's like, how do we break this? How do we get out of this? How do we become content with ourselves, confident in ourselves? It just it all seems to go hand in hand, right? Like we talk about it week after week after week. How do we how do we fix this? How do we have content children and become content in ourselves and happy with our lives? And I think she hits the nail on the head, you are who you hang out with for starters.

SPEAKER_02

Yes, which that is what is a big part of what kids uh can focus on and control. You know, you think about it, like okay, if you ever like if you go to schools and you ever even look at the groups, cliques, whatever they they want to call it, you know, um, you always have mean girls are together, sports jocks are together, um you know, smoking some dope, not group groups together, right? You end up hanging with a group of people that are all very similar. It's about breaking out of even a lot of times your own group. So if you're in a mean girls group, you should probably exit. You know, if I mean, and because eventually a lot of times those people are complainers. They complain about a lot of things because they wish they had so much more. They have their own inferiority complex. And so they think it makes them feel superior to make fun of somebody else. And then they find other people and they suck them into their group. So realistically, I think it's I think that is something you can control when you're when you're a kid. I think if I think there's a lot of parents that don't even pay attention to who their kids are paying hanging out with. Like that's the one thing I even always tell my husband when like if any of my kids have ever brought people to our house, I I'm all just as nice as all of them the same. And then I you kind of, if you pay attention to this, their mannerisms, their the way that they talk to you, you know what I mean, stuff like that. You can kind of figure out like that's the sneaky kid, or that's the like, mm, that's the one party kid. You know, that's the that's the kid that does this or does that. That doesn't make them bad kids, but it just means that that's when you need to know who your kids and hang out with and who do they click with the most, because that's probably the path that your kids going down. And I don't think that you build, I don't think you even build character confidence or anything staying in one group, regardless. Even if you're in a good, decent group of kids, let's say you're just in the nice, normal, regular Joe Blows. The reality is you need to grow. You're not gonna grow with a regular Joe Blows, you gotta grow to get who's somebody that's maybe has something to that you can learn from. Go try to go be friends with those people. You know what I mean?

Exiting Mean Circles And Leveling Up

SPEAKER_03

And instead of trying to be the, I think instead of trying to be the smartest kid in every room, go find rooms that you're the dumbest in. Yep. Because that's where you're gonna learn and grow and try to be better. If you just hang out with losers, for lack of better term, you will be gonna be a loser. Yep. But if you go to places and hang out with people and and level up, level up your thinking and and try to think bigger and try to think. I mean, I can even tell that from my last job to this job. Like these people just think different. They think big picture, they are supportive, and we're all working towards the same common goal. And I really do feel like I've leveled up. You're not hanging out with the same people, the same people. And we joke about being trauma bonded, but it's so true. Like, we got in into just trying to survive every single day and put out fires every single day. That like that's not life. Life is so much more than that, and just hanging out or working with people that are are are big picture thinkers and nothing's off the table and everybody works together and no idea is stupid, and you know, valuing feedback instead of being kicked in the face when you're the person that uh pushes back on things, it's it's valued. It's like you're right, how can we do better? It's working for a company that when people complain, we listen to their complaints and then we fix the product. Like it's crazy. You know what I mean? Yeah, that's awesome. You just feel like I've leveled up in life. And I think that as far as friends and life and and everything like that, we all need to work towards that. We all need to be the dumbest person in the room because then you're hanging out with people that that will here's the thing about you can learn.

SPEAKER_02

Okay, so there's a couple of things that I think about when we even are talking about this, is that like, so you have one, we talked about 2026 was gonna be the uncomfortable year. Yeah. Remember, we're gonna grow, but we're gonna we have to get we have the only way you grow is when you're uncomfortable. You don't grow in your comfort zone. So wherever you are today, if you like it and you're just comfortable in it, this is where you will stay. If you become uncomfortable and push yourself to go into the room of the kids that maybe seem more put together. And it really isn't about smart because you could have a mean girl who's super smart. One of the reasons she's mean is because she's like arrogance. There's a difference between confidence and arrogance, right? That person becomes very arrogant. So you may say, well, that mean girl over there, she is really smart. I mean, I mean, I'm not gonna go hang out with her. Well, that's not the people we're looking for. We're looking for the people who are intelligent and emotionally intelligent, like what we talked about, so that they are really about the reach down and help you out. And like even in work, whether it's dysfunctional or not dysfunctional companies, they people above, if you befriend them, pull you up the reins, right? That doesn't mean everybody that's getting the promotions all should probably always get them. But it does mean, it does mean that they befriended the people above, and that's how they pull them up. Now, I will tell you, and some people are very angry about that, right? That's so wrong because so what she gets promotion because she's friends with so-and-so and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Okay, that's what you're doing. Which, yes, can be annoying. There's no doubt about it. But I think that's when you want to sit and say, okay, but realistically, even when we look at where we want to work, what people we want to be around, is that the company you want somebody pull you up in or not? Or do you want to go to this company to rise up in that company with a different aspect? And ultimately, I mean, yeah, we all do kind of like promote reality of it, is our people we know, because why? Because we trust them in certain ways, whether that's for good or bad, whatever our trust may be, it doesn't make any difference. But I do think that that plays a big part. So I think it's the same with our kids. It's the same thing. It's about them leveling up in a manner of who do you think you see is goal focused on like becoming something in their life? Like they have dreams of becoming somebody and they work on those things. And some of that's hard work, but they're working on it. And if you're interested in it, they're the type of person that, well, hell, come along with me, we'll learn it together. You know what I mean?

Finding Rooms Where You’re The Learner

SPEAKER_03

I wish I would have started so much, so much earlier. I like to. I literally sent um a text message to a friend this week, and I'm like, okay, we need really need to be thinking like next steps and whether that's your brand or my brand, and his brand is Yell STL. And if you have not, you need to go check it out. It's just about things happening in St. Louis, and our podcast is actually featured on there. Um, just things happening in St. Louis and St. Louis surrounding areas. But I'm like, whether it's my brand or your brand that we're building on, like with AI and just different things, like we are smart and we are capable and like there is so much. We just need to figure out what's what's next. You know what I mean? Just hanging out with people that think bigger, bigger, think bigger picture. Like there are so many people, and it's and I do, I get jealous because I'm financially not where I want to be in life. And I get jealous of these content creators or these people that are out there, and it's like, I created this business in 30 seconds using AI, and I'm making$100,000 a month. And why aren't you loser?

SPEAKER_02

You're like, I don't know. You know what though? That's what makes me watch the ones that they'll say, here's an AI, correct? Um, content creator, and they have all these glorious pictures, and at the end of the day, their life is in complete shambles. And I'm like, okay, it's all right. We're gonna be okay. They're just a pretty picture. It doesn't mean anything. That is very true. So I know there are some that are doing amazing, but you have to give them credit. They put themselves out there in a million different ways, and they've they deserve everything they get. And so I they don't care what people think. They don't care what people think, and they deserve then what they what they're what they're getting. And I just look at it as we have to look at it more of a I wish I had what they have. There's no doubt about it, but how do I get there? And how can I learn from them? Exactly. More than, well, what the hell? That's bullshit. Like I my very podcast were like, we can't stand their voice. Why did they do that? Right. They're not consistent and they're annoying. It's like I don't want to listen to them.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

But the I think that like um, like my very, very best friend from back home, she is the 100 the person that if I were to call her and tell her, oh my God, I'm doing this and I just got this major bump in money. I just bought this humongous house. I grant myself in Lake House on top of it. I mean, she would just genuinely be so excited for me. There is not an ounce of jealousy between her and I about anything. Like, I want her to have everything she wants in life. We've talked about this before. And and there just is not, you don't get that a lot. It's hard to find because everybody gets so there, I think people put more energy in and worry about other people than worrying about themselves. That's why when we talked about emotional intelligence, I kind of felt like there's so much that we could talk about in regards to that. I think that we should have other episodes that discuss it. And it's because I think that that's just the reality in life is we kind of focus more on maybe what we don't have rather than figure out, well, we don't have it, but how can we get it rather than why does she have it?

SPEAKER_03

And I think a lot of times it comes down to like I'm like, and I've I really try to be better, especially since this podcast. Like, we want people to talk about us and we want people to share us out. And then it's like, I have 28 invitations on Facebook of people's groups that I haven't joined because why? I don't know. And I've really tried to be cognizant of it and been like, no, freak, you know, screw that. Like whether they're supporting me or not, I'm trying to support other people instead of living in this like I I don't want to say that I don't want to support people, but that you it's almost like you don't want people to be better off than you are.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, you know, yeah, which is it comes from a jealousy kind of thing, because you want to be like the winner, you know. But the reality is you never are the total winner. You I mean, there's always somebody better than you. When we've talked about that before, like I've even case who come home and say, Oh, you know, I'm the best on this team. You're not the best everywhere, just in that place. Whatever. You know what I mean? So, like to me, I feel like there should always just be goal setting rather than I'm mad, upset, bothered. It should always be like, okay, um, look at these people, they're doing amazing. I want to get to where they're at. I mean, how do I support other people? Yeah. Bring the process along with it. You know? Like And unfortunately, there's a lot of people who don't bring people along with them because at the end of the day, of the same feeling of they don't want anybody better than them. But I think that everybody loses in the end when you do that.

Confidence Vs Arrogance And EQ

SPEAKER_03

For real. We could all build each other up and be but in better places, and then nobody would resent anybody because we're all right doing our thing. It's something we really need to look, you know, look at within ourselves and within the people we're hanging out with, and just that we're all trying to level up instead of sitting around and gossiping about people because that doesn't get you anywhere. And if somebody's gossiping with you, they're gossiping without you. You know, I love I love the saying that it says God removed you from a situation because he heard conversations that you you didn't. Yep. And I think that's so freaking true. Like, again, if somebody sits around and gossips and wants to talk about everybody around them to you, they're doing it about you. So realize that and move on.

SPEAKER_02

Well, and here's the thing about it, I think too, you can um I will say the the one thing about it is is that I the one thing I try to always be is honest. Even if it's sometimes even hurt people's feelings when they've asked me, if you ask me a question, I will answer it. If you don't, I will keep it to myself. You know what I mean? I kind of definitely try to be that way. Um but I I feel like um I don't I don't know. I just think that it's trusting people, having those relationships where you can trust people and that people are truly are honest with each other is hard to find because honesty is not it's kind of rare, actually. I I mean I was at work one day and there's a guy I couldn't stand him. I was not ever mean. I was never rude to him. I just avoid I'm a that's my avoiding. There you go. I can sit in a room of 10 people and if you will know if I don't like you if you pay any attention, because I will completely walk past you and never make eye contact with you. I probably shouldn't tell her about this because then you'll be like, look at her, she doesn't like me. Yeah, you're gonna make people super self-conscious next time they're in the room with you. But I had a girl that that worked for me and she's like, I've kind of figured you out. If you don't like somebody, she's like, you just completely ignore them. And I'm like, Well, I'm not, do you think I'm rude? And she's like, Well, no, I don't think anybody would really know. So I go, I don't ever want to be rude to anybody, but I don't have a need to talk to you if I don't really care for you. But I did have a guy one time that I that I worked with and he walked up to me and he goes, Can I just ask you a question? And I said, Yeah, he goes, Do you like me? And I go, No. And he goes, Oh, well, I didn't think so. And I'm like, Okay then. Did he ask why? No, I didn't even. I think I don't I don't think he wanted him to talk more since I did answer him honestly. Cause you know, most people would say, Oh, I mean, you know, like, I mean, that I don't know you well or that would drive me batshit.

SPEAKER_03

I would be like, why? What did I do to you? Why don't you like me? What do I, how can I fix this? And then I would make it my life mission to make you like me. Like, why don't I cannot stand when someone doesn't like me and I didn't give them a reason. Like, if I was a bitch to you, fine. But like I can't you have never met something you just don't like. I just don't like them. I cannot stand when people don't like me for no reason. What did I do to you? Did I run over your dog? No. And I literally I cannot fucking stand it. I cannot, it drives me bullshit when someone doesn't like me and I don't know why. Even if they would be like, back in 2007, you were a dick. And I would be like, fair enough, but I want to know why you don't like me. You can't just not like me. You have to. You have to like me. Why don't you like me?

SPEAKER_02

And it would drive it drives me fucking crazy. See, I don't care. I first of all I can tell you if I wouldn't probably I I gave the guy a lot of credit because he did ask me. I just gotta like I kind of like earned he earned a little respect out of me, even though I was like, I still don't like the guy, but like I don't understand how the conversation just ended. Do you like I think he didn't want to ask me fucking sweet? That's great. I don't think he wanted to ask me in case of whatever I'd say. I don't know.

SPEAKER_03

I would like this in your Wheaties.

SPEAKER_02

Like, what happened that you I just don't like, I just didn't like him. It wasn't even that he did anything to me. He was just not my I don't know, he just wasn't my cup of tea. I'm sure I'm not peep there's people I'm sure that have met me, they're like, yeah, that's a everyone's cup of tea.

SPEAKER_03

And if I'm not, please DM me and tell me why so I can fix it. I hate that about myself. I wish I could just I don't know.

Jealousy, Content Creation, And Perspective

SPEAKER_02

I just don't, I don't know. I d I think that's probably like why I feel the way I do about people liking me, though. Like there's just times where you just meet somebody, you're just like, oh, I don't know. It's just not my thing. I just don't, I don't know. Or I've seen usually for me to say I don't like you, I've seen you either do something that I really don't respect. Um, whether it might be ethics, maybe it's how I've seen you treat somebody. You know how you see like people go on a blind date and all of a sudden they're like the dude was rude to the waitress. You know what I mean? Okay, I don't like you anymore. You obviously have some serious issues. You know, you got some it's deeper, it's deeper than you were just an asshole to that waitress. Like you got you're you're screwed up. So, like I don't think it takes a lot of things for sometimes that you have that opinion of somebody. That doesn't mean that you're not ever wrong. I know that people, there's lots of people in the world that have told me when I first met you, I thought you were a bitch. Well, I'm not. But at the end of the day, I mean, some people might think I am. If I'm a bitch, you deserved it. Because I've never ever, I am not a mean, ignorant person in any way. I try to be nice to anybody and everybody. You may not always agree with me. You may, we not may not have all the same opinions about life in general. We may not see eye to eye on everything, but I am not rude or hateful. And if you are rude or hateful to me, yes, I don't like you. And I don't care that I don't like you because you deserve that. If I'm a bitch to you, you deserve that. See, and I'm more I'm not mean. I like I never would have gone to that guy and said, you know what, dude, I don't like you, you douche. Like I never would have said anything to the guy. I just ignored that he existed. He was just odd. Did odd things. And he was sucked at his job. Like I just didn't there's I think what it came out is I have no respect for him. If he probably really put me on the spot as what don't you like? I don't have respect for you. I just don't see you as like rising in life. I I don't know. You just seemed like a douche. And maybe he was a great person. He could be, but I wasn't interested in finding out, so it didn't really matter to me. And it wasn't, and I wasn't mean when I said no. I just said no. Just like that. No.

SPEAKER_03

I also give you props for being honest because I would be like, yeah, I love you. You want to hug? Then I would go talk shit.

SPEAKER_02

Don't hug me. And don't hug me if I don't like you. We don't need to touch now on top of this.

SPEAKER_03

Oh, not liking someone and then being dirty or two separate things.

SPEAKER_02

Like, you're gonna be clean and I don't like you.

SPEAKER_03

I don't mean about dirty. I just don't touch people I don't like. I do for real. I give you props for being honest. If somebody walked up and they said, Do you like me and I fucking hated them? I would be like, I love you.

SPEAKER_02

Seriously. Yes. See if you have issues. Deal with that. I would say I wouldn't, I would not. I wouldn't have to tell you the truth, whether you liked it or not. And I, but I like I said, I keep all those answers in my head unless you want to ask me. And then I want to be honest. I try very hard to be an honest person. If you talk to me, I want to be honest. And I don't want to be fake. I don't want to be fake. Well, I mean, though that doesn't mean I'm not like polite to people that I don't like. I mean, I'm always polite. I never would be like hateful. I might ignore I might kind of ignore you in a in a non-rude way. I wouldn't like look at you and go and keep walking or something. I'm not ignorant. I just kind of like you're a tree. I just walk best.

unknown

Jesus.

SPEAKER_02

Okay. Okay, back to uh what we're really bright about.

SPEAKER_03

I mean, we kind of talked about it, but you've got to go find people that love their life so they don't resent yours. So does your your friend from your hometown? Like, does she have what's her life like?

Honest Friendship Without Resentment

SPEAKER_02

Not to put you or well, not that everything's perfect in her life by any means, but she has a good life. She has uh, she worked hard. Um, she God, she's a hard worker. She, her job, I she'd be up at three o'clock. She is the type of mom. See, I have a lot of respect for her. I like the people who I like the most, I have a lot of respect for. I also believe that even in like when you get married, if you really want it to last, you have to have respect for each other. That's how why you would treat each other friend nicer. That's why even when a bad day is you kind of get through because you ultimately you do have a lot of respect for that person. But like, that's how I feel about her. I just, she's the type that like she would get up at three o'clock in the morning, okay, fix her kids' hair, like get them up just enough to like get their teeth brushed, like do their hair, put like their clothes on for school. And then she would get finished, get put them back to bed, and then she would finish getting ready and she'd leave and she'd go off to work. So that way when her husband wakes up, he just has to get him up and out the door to get to go to school. I know. I mean, believe me, I have a lot of, I just love her to pieces because I'm like, there's no way I'm not getting up. First, I'm not going to work at three o'clock in the morning. Never. That's not happening. I need my sleep. I'm one of those people. And I don't want to go to bed at 7 p.m. every night. So, like, that's not going to be my life. But that's why I respect her. And then she might, then she's coming home at like four o'clock, four thirty in the afternoon, sometimes even five. And then she's um would come home and she'd get food for everybody and take, I mean, she just takes care of her family very well. And she um she's and she also still finds ways to make sure she's taking care of herself. Um, I don't know. I just have a lot of res I just have a lot of respect for her. And so like I hope all of her dreams and her life would always come true. So she could come to me and tell me, I just freaking hit the lottery and I'm, you know, worth 10 million and I would do a happy dance. I mean, I'd hope she maybe take me on a trip or something. I was gonna say you wouldn't you wouldn't be slightly jealous. All I would want is like, could you maybe like, can we go on a trip and maybe pay for it? Maybe with 10 million, that's a drop in the bucket. Okay. Like that's, you know, maybe give me five grand so we can go party together. But literally, I wouldn't even care. I truly can say with her, I just have so much respect for her. She deserves whatever great things could come to her in her life. And she's that way with me as well. Like, even my husband will ask me, you know, I wouldn't, I don't blame people like complaining to other people about, you know, who they're like their spouse or something like that. And he's like, Well, have you ever complained about me? You know what I mean? I'm like, I'm okay. Well, first I'm a girl. Clearly, you don't listen to the podcast. Right. Yeah, I talk shit all the time about you. No, I'm just kidding. But I told him, I said, seriously, the main person that I would share anything with would be her because she held no judgment. I could tell you that my husband is being the biggest dude she could possibly ever be, and then and say how mad and angry I am. And she'd just be like, okay. She just looks as that's life. And she knows I have a good husband anyway. I mean, if she's beating me, that's a different story. You know what I mean? Right. She knows I have a good husband, she knows I have a good relationship, so she just supports me. And if it's just a vent that day, I vent. But I mean, that's why I would never use it against you at any point. Heck, no. And nor would she ever treat him differently. And she's the same with me about her husband. She'll be like, oh my God, I swear to God. And she'll go off and I'll just laugh and you know, and just I'll just laugh about it and stuff. And then he'll get on the phone sometimes even and say stuff. I mean, it's just, it is what it is. It's life, you know. But I think it's rare.

SPEAKER_03

You don't get that a lot of times, unfortunately. So if you would find people that actually love their life, you wouldn't have to put up memes every day talking about haters. Yep.

SPEAKER_02

You always know the people who like a lot of times your notes, you do have those people on Facebook that like they kind of post all their drama in a way. Like they're, I don't know. You can always tell, like, oh, that they're single again, or they're they're not friends with some friend anymore.

unknown

Yes.

SPEAKER_02

And you think, you know what? Maybe stop complaining and actually go fix your own shit.

SPEAKER_03

Because you might be a part of the broad. This is funny because just this week, I I have gotten very good at the um unfollow button. So Gina's like, well, you don't like delete the person. You just unfollow them so their stuff doesn't like if it constantly annoys you or like it constantly just puts you in a different state, like you're in control of that. So un unfollow it. The only detail she missed was that we were talking about LinkedIn. And when you follow, unfollow someone on LinkedIn, I don't think they get notified, but like, no. It's like unfriending. Whereas on Facebook, you can still be friends, but unfollow, so you don't see it all the time. If you unfollow on LinkedIn, you're like truly unfollowing them, so they'll probably see it. Yeah. Which at the end of the day, like we're not each other's cup of tea, whatever case may be. But even with all of this politics bullshit, like I have unfollowed so many people, whether you're left or right or what I like, I just don't want to see it. I don't want to see it. I don't want to hear like I I well, most of it comes from uh usually like an irritation from somebody.

SPEAKER_02

Whether no matter what side. So I'm, you know, like if you post too much of your craziness, I I'd I'll probably unfollow your feed. I don't really care to it's crazy.

Spotting Drama And Setting Boundaries Online

SPEAKER_03

So to watch it all the day long. You know, over the last couple weeks, it's been hellaciously cold. It's so hellaciously cold is probably not a thing because hell's really hot, I'm assuming. But anyway, it's been so freaking cold. We've not had school some days because of s of snow. And let me tell you that there was, it might have even been on like where the school posted on Facebook saying like no snow. And like the amount of people going at it in the comments, like going at it hardcore in the comments about which so the situation was there was Monday was a snow day a couple weeks ago. Monday was a snow day, Tuesday, all of the surrounding schools had like called it the night before. Well, we didn't. We got the call at 6 a.m. So people, working parents, were pissed, like, why do we have to wait until 6 a.m.? And I see both sides of it because if you call it the night before, then people are like, well, why would you call it the night before? Like, you can't, it's a it's a what's a lose-lose situation. Like nobody's always gonna be happy. But like people are like, you should always, as an adult, you should always have a backup plan. Like, why didn't you have a backup plan? Well, for us and like my kids' school, we got an email that says Monday night that said school is in session. If if it's not, it won't be called in the morning. And then they didn't call it till 6 a.m. And it was just kind of annoying. It was just kind of a pain in the ass. Like the roads were bad on Monday. The roads were bad at 5 p.m. on Monday. They weren't gonna magically get better on Tuesday. I do not know why they had to wait. But I also don't know why adults had to verbally accost each other in the comments.

SPEAKER_02

See, that's the stuff that makes me unfollow the feed because I just don't want to hear. It's I don't like all the I don't like people who complain. I don't like people that are negative about everything all the time.

SPEAKER_03

Well, first I sent it to my mom and my sister-in-law as an R group chat, and I'm like, oh my God, check this shit out. Like, look at these people seriously going at it in the in the comments.

SPEAKER_02

People have issues anymore. I think people are more angry anymore than they used to be. I swear I tell people though, it's from COVID. People got too used to sitting at home and I don't know, looking and shouldn't be in a bad mood. See, I'm the one that like watches. I like the shit that's like, you know, the guy who went on the trip and then he was um having sex with the vacuum cleaner that was owned by the resort, and that's the one I sent you.

SPEAKER_03

Now those comments are hilarious. Well, one of the ladies, and she was on like multiple different threads. Like, if anyone posted about school being called, she was on multiple different threads. And then people were like responding with like pictures of the road last night and pictures of the road this morning. And I'm like, who has this much much energy? But I had that much energy or time on my hands that day. So I get doing this like deep dive, and like one of the photos on this lady's profile that kept like freaking yelling at people, telling them they were losers in comments for not having a backup plan. She has a picture that says, like on her page that says, your attitude determines your direction. Lady, you're going down. Your direction is the wrong fucking direction because you are. I mean, it was like intense. It it was intense. It was like snow comes every winter. You need to be prepared, just like Christmas, and all these parents that don't can't afford Christmas. You know it's coming every single year. So put$10 back a page. Like, what the who the fuck are you? Uh and like, no offense, but like she's an older lady that has no skin in the game. Like your kid, you don't your kids are not like clearly her kids are if she has kids are would be older. Like you don't even have skin in this game. Why are you I have grandchildren she's concerned about? But no skin in the game for school being called at 6 a.m. Like maybe she had to watch her grandkids and that's why she was in a bad mood. I don't know, but like Right, because she got the phone call at 6 30 from her son or daughter. That other person wouldn't let it go either. So this carried on and carried on and carried on and carried it on. I'm like, oh my lord.

SPEAKER_02

People got too much time on their hands to complain.

SPEAKER_03

And I think it's so easy to be a keyboard warrior. It's so easy to run your mouth behind a computer screen or behind a phone and not face to face with a person. Like Yes. Would you say this to the person standing in front of them? Would you be this freaking passionate about it if you were standing in front of them? Most people wouldn't. No, they wouldn't. You just have balls because you right. And like that is irritating. That is irritating.

SPEAKER_02

And why are you so angry? Why are you so angry anyways? I don't understand all this anger. Like, I wasn't mad when the guy asked me if I liked him. No, I just don't. I mean, we're cool. Move along.

SPEAKER_03

We don't need to be mad at each other. That wouldn't have made me angry, but that would have made me question like, why did he think that? Was my face wrong at some point? Because I probably ignored him.

SPEAKER_02

He probably knows I passed him like he's a tree. So he finally got the vibe that I think he's a tree.

SPEAKER_03

Apparently. But yeah, but my side, I would just overthink the hell out of that because I would be like.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

That's why I I think people that get on these phones, whether it's you know, however, whatever platform you want to be ballsy, like seriously, do something with yourself that's productive. You probably would have a better life if you stopped. You just want to find ways to be stir of the pot with other people because your life is not going well.

SPEAKER_03

And I love when I love when Kim said, and one day, because you are drama, one day I heard the Lord say, you it.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, I like that too. It's true. You have to recognize what you're doing wrong.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. And if you would find better friends, you wouldn't have to cut them off every year.

Keyboard Warriors, Anger, And Reflection

SPEAKER_02

So it's like I've talked about before, I told you my dad used to always say, you know, you are who you hang out with. And as a kid, you're like, dude, whatever. Like, I like these people. So that means nothing. Because you you think you're going to become somebody regardless of anything else. Like you don't really realize how much who you hang out with affects you. Till you get older and you realize, oh shit, probably shouldn't have hung out with these people. Well, we needed bailed out of jail. That probably was that probably was not the right path. Even if sometimes, like, you know, they're just like we talked about in companies, even those people bring you up in the company, it doesn't mean it was always the it you could you open your eyes sometimes. It's true. And you see bigger picture that other people see not in those positions.

SPEAKER_03

And you want to sit at a table without competing, gossiping, resenting, or draining. Like it is, it is time. It is time to if we're gonna if we're gonna rebuild and we're gonna be better, then we have to evaluate who is around us. But I also think that that starts by looking in the mirror. Like, are you the drama? Right. And how can we fix that? Right. You know? Right.

SPEAKER_02

Are you the one that's bringing the the complaining, the the negativity, the jealousy? Are you bringing it or are they really just screwed up?

SPEAKER_03

Not me. If you're constantly surrounded by chaos, it doesn't mean you're broken. It means you're outgrowing the room. And this rebuild season is about finding rooms where you don't have to proof, perform, or protect constantly. Better friends don't require yearly exits. If this episode hit, send it to the friend who's always done with someone. Or honestly, send it to yourself. Bite me. But this is our rebuild era. Choose accordingly. Thanks for spending time with us. Take what you need, leave what you don't, and be gentle with yourself. And if you want to stay connected, follow us on Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok at the ARMC. And remember, you're not broken, you're becoming. We'll see you next time!