The ARMC

Quiet Competition, Loud Exhaustion

• Kylie & Gina • Season 3 • Episode 7

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Comparison rarely arrives with fanfare; it slips in while we scroll, read a coworker update, or watch another mom post milestones that feel like finish lines. We named that quiet competition, traced how it drains energy at home and at work, and showed how it can also motivate when it’s aligned with purpose, ethics, and context. The real shift came from four simple gut checks: after you scroll, do you feel motivated or smaller; are you chasing growth or validation; are you running your own race or clocking who’s passing; and if no one was watching, would you still want this?

From KPIs to promotions, we pulled apart why workplace competition so often turns toxic. Numbers without context punish people in smaller markets and reward volume over values. We talked about removing toxic high performers, rewarding trajectories instead of totals, and building cultures where the best rivalry is with yesterday’s baseline. We also brought it home to parenting, where kids live inside school “pits” that make their world feel tiny. Broadening their circles—new activities, new friends, new environments—reduces comparison pressure and teaches them to compete with curiosity, not fear.

We’re honest about our own wiring: one of us craves friendly head-to-head battles and wants a playful rivalry with a new dad podcast; the other prefers self-benchmarks and quiet consistency. That mix—fire plus focus—makes progress sustainable. If you love competition, make it fair, time-bound, and fun. If you don’t, track your inputs, celebrate tiny gains, and protect your joy. And when a job or feed makes you feel desperate, remember the mantra we kept returning to: you’re not a tree. Move. Hit play, then tell us: where is competition draining you right now, and where could it actually push you forward? Subscribe, share with a friend who needs the reminder, and leave a review so more anxious, loving, overstimulated moms can find their people.

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Welcome To Anxiety Ridden Moms Club

SPEAKER_01

You're listening to the Anxiety Ridden Moms Club, the podcast for moms who love their kids deeply and still feel anxious, exhausted, and overstimulated.

Naming The Quiet Competition

SPEAKER_00

Here, we talk about the messy stuff, the thoughts we don't say out loud, the pressure to do it all, and the journey back to ourselves. Progress over perfection always. Let's go. Somewhere along the way, life turned into a competition, and none of us remember signing up, competing at work, competing as parents, competing for happiness, healing, stability, even peace. And today we're talking about competition. How it can drain us or motivate us depending on how we use it.

SPEAKER_01

And the wild part is most of us don't even realize we're doing it. We're just tired. And then suddenly we're comparing.

SPEAKER_00

It's not intentional. It just sneaks in. I don't wake up thinking I'm competing. I scroll or I hear someone else's update and suddenly I'm measuring myself.

SPEAKER_01

I love the way she's measuring me. Okay, go on. I'm measuring myself. Okay. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00

It's all internal. It's quiet competition.

SPEAKER_01

It shows up when you're already vulnerable, when you're stressed, burned out, or insecure. And it doesn't mean we're not. I say it normal. Insecure. Measuring. Because I'm measuring everybody.

SPEAKER_00

No, you're just quietly calling me insecure.

SPEAKER_01

Hey, it just means you're human. You know? I am. No one prepares you for how competitive motherhood feels. Milestones turn into races even when no one says it out loud. Start questioning everything. Am I doing enough? Messing up. My kid behind. I know.

SPEAKER_00

And I feel like the scariest part of all of it is that I feel like I'm passing that pressure on to my kids. They don't need to be their best. They just need they need to feel safe. But are they feeling too safe because they never want to, you know. Yeah, you have to make sure they know that not everything is safe.

SPEAKER_01

The world is not all safe. I can't shelter them.

SPEAKER_02

That doesn't help them. I know. You can't helicopter parent. No.

SPEAKER_00

Let's do a quick reality check. Okay. Alright. Oh. After I scroll, do I feel motivated or smaller?

SPEAKER_02

It depends.

SPEAKER_01

Yes, it it depends. But if it makes you feel smaller, it depends on the down.

SPEAKER_00

Because some days I'm motivated by seeing what people are making or doing or building or growing. And then other days I'm jealous AF. I'm like, Gina, why do we suck?

SPEAKER_01

Gina, why will nobody share our podcast? Gina, why don't we only have two channels? Here, I just want I want to make sure. I want to share something. Okay. Okay. As you say that, she has to all the time, oh my God, the world's falling on top of us. I just don't know. I feel bad. And then I'm like, oh God, yeah, I know. I kind of feel the same way. Why are you saying that? Look at these good things that are going on. And I'm like, stop. Stop being so negative. Quit just sending me exclamation points and thumbs ups. I want to hear words. And I need you to be positive. Very just very controlling in how you responded.

SPEAKER_00

It was very no, I'm just like five text messages and then it's like thumbs up. Then it's then it's a ha-ha. And then I'm like, can you not fucking say words? Like, where are your words? Use your words. We had that episode a few episodes ago. Use your fucking words. Don't just uh pacify.

SPEAKER_01

And I'm not ever allowed to be like, oh, well, that kind of sucks. Or oh man. We have roles here.

SPEAKER_00

You are positive, Polly. I am negative, Nancy. Stick to it. And when you get negative, then I want to go lay on the railroad track.

SPEAKER_01

But sometimes maybe I need you to go lay on them. I know. It's so hard. It's so hard. So my opinion, after you scroll, if you feel smaller, stop scrolling. Stop texting you.

SPEAKER_00

I think that's what she's getting at.

Growth Or Validation

SPEAKER_01

Put the phone down. It's funny. Uh here. The next one is Am I chasing growth or validation? Both. What's okay? This is the word you always hear in business. If you're not growing, you're dying. I get so tired of hearing that. But it's fucking true. Well, it is true, but still annoying. Shut up. I don't care. Today I just want to maybe die a little. I'm all about growth and I'm really, really big on the fact that I want to be bigger and better. I want my whole life, I always grow.

SPEAKER_00

But some days, if I need to die just a little bit, let me. Okay. There is a difference between what we're doing here at the Anxiety Ridden Moms Club versus your day job. Versus my day job. Wait, but what we're talking about affects all of it. No, but like we need to be growing. We don't have anything really holding us back at this point in time. These stupid fucking corporations will be like, we're gonna give you no equipment, no resources, no help, no support. Fucking go sell. What the fuck am I gonna sell? My good looks? Like that's not gonna work out. So like I that's where I'm trying to separate the two. Go sell oxygen. P.S. We're using concentrators from the 1800s that don't put out enough. Fucking put on a smile. Why aren't you smiling? Why aren't you growing? My God.

Running Your Own Race

SPEAKER_01

Like that's where it gets irritating because like sometimes the corporate Okay, I agree, but I still think sometimes in life you have moments. You just have moments. Like when you send me if you'll send me your negative Nancy bullshit, sometimes I may have a moment of self-doubt. Just give me my moment. Okay. I'm not always negative. Yes, she is. You're like, We didn't do double digits. But then as soon as I get say anything like, oh, really? All right. That's all I even have to say. And you'd be like, oh my god, look at this and look at this, all these positive things. You'll shoot out like 10 things. I'm like, okay, I don't know what the hell we're bitching about or complaining for. This is just stupid. Again, this is why you need to just put the phone down sometimes. Okay, next. Next one. Read the next one. Go on. The next one. I I gave up. Oh my god. I gave up because I'm feeling smaller. Am I running my own race or checking who's passing me? Again, put the phone down if that's what you're worried about. You're supposed to be running your own race and not worried about anybody else.

SPEAKER_00

Right back at you. She literally made me listen to a bunch of dad podcasts this week to make sure we were on track.

SPEAKER_01

I just want to make sure, like, if they're if if dads have a role in this world that's very important.

SPEAKER_00

If you have a dad podcast, get a hold of us. We want to have a not a mom versus dad, because not everything is a company.

Inviting Dad Podcasters To Collaborate

SPEAKER_01

But but no, but a fun, a fun mom dad podcast. It would be fun. It would be moms against dads in a different kind of way, not to be negative or poking at not to be the whole, oh, does a man ever vacuum? Because my husband vacuums and he does a very good job of the floors. So but like more of like how men and women and the differences, how we feel different and how we handle things and the humor and the fun. It would be really fun. So yes, if anybody knows a good dad podcast or has one that would love to just join and have a good time together, moms versus dad in a in a fun way. I think that'd be kind of cool. You know? That is let's let's run our own race but together. So that is one of the reasons I was going through some dad podcasts to see like, I mean, what are dads worried about? What do they talk about? So I thought it was kind of interesting. So, you know what? Screw you, Kylie, for like acting like she didn't even care at the moment when I was tending to her, like, whatever, I don't even care. I'm like, this matters. We need to talk about it. Then she's like, okay, I okay, I get it. And she did listen, but first I did listen to Negative Nanny for a moment. And then she got over it and realized I'm a genius.

SPEAKER_00

Sometimes I do just have to bitch about it, and then I get over it and I'm like, okay, that wasn't so bad. And sometimes I'm like, that was fucking terrible. Things not to do on the podcast. Right.

SPEAKER_01

So, and then here, okay, last one. If no one was watching, would I still want this?

Workplaces Where Competition Turns Toxic

SPEAKER_00

1000%. Yes. You're supposed to be doing it for yourself. Well, and I guess it's not just about me in the podcast. I guess this is for our listeners. So after you scroll, do you feel motivated or smaller? Are you chasing growth or validation? Are you running your own race or checking who's passing? If no one's watching, would I still want this, whatever this may be? Just a recap where I'm not interrupting and talking about my poor, poor, pitiful self right now. But if this made you feel uncomfortable, same. That's usually where the work is. Right, because 2026, we're uncomfortable.

SPEAKER_01

We're uncomfortable. So Al, you guys better get some comfy pants on because we're gonna make sure you're uncomfortable. Yes.

SPEAKER_00

So I would say work is one of the loudest places competition shows up. Promotions, pay, recognition. And sometimes it's not about wanting more. It's about not wanting to fall behind.

SPEAKER_01

I think work is for sure one of the loudest places for competition. Because I think we always analyze, well, okay, this person maybe is having something better, better numbers, whether that's you're an operations person and you're looking at, you know, finances or if you're looking at growth for sales or whatever. Key performance indicators. Yeah. Then you sit and you say, okay, well, are they it's because they're doing something better than me, or did they just get lucky and were given a territory, you know, that kind of like made them that way? Like what is it that's true? Why do I feel like she's projecting again? Why is it really that they're doing as well as that they're doing? And I think that then causes competition, jealousy, anger, and can really frustrate people. I think that's why work a lot of times when people they say you gotta leave work at work and have home home, and you have to separate the two, but you can't, because you can't put it down because you really go back to home and think about how that's bullshit. That person, they're not even doing anything better than me, so it's not like I so I'm just mad, and I think it's wrong. And then I'm jealous because I should have it.

SPEAKER_00

Well, yeah. And the exhaustion isn't necessarily the work, it's the pressure to constantly prove yourself and prove what you're doing, and prove that you're good enough and prove that you're not far falling behind or proving, and I mean, you know, obviously jobs that's how you get higher performers is to be like, hey, look what she's doing. She's doing better than you.

Context Matters: Unequal Territories And KPIs

SPEAKER_01

Like, okay, but I also think, but I oh say, okay, but I agree and I don't agree. This is where I do probably have a heart, really hard time because I think competition can turn very toxic and you can lose very good people sometimes from doing that. Right. Because you honest to God will have times where they're you're like, okay, but okay, so like if you have a team and somebody just isn't, let's say, even truly, you're in an area that's you're never gonna have the same numbers as somebody else. I live in a little tiny town. I mean, seriously, like if I got 20, I'm killing it, right? Of whatever that may be, whatever the hell it is you sell. And then you go over to this area. I mean, they could have like 300. And all of a sudden you're like, well, Mr. 20 man over here only has 20. But for 20, for that person is actually bigger than this person who's getting their 300. You see what I'm saying? Right. I I think that's why I'm I have a hard time sometimes with companies when they want to look at people and say, Well, the 300 is the top dog. Well, okay, but the 20 person's growing actually more than the 300 person's growing. You know what I mean? And then they don't look at big picture and eventually guess what the 20 person guy does? Like, fuck it. Screw you. I'm always gonna last. You're never gonna make a list where you put me the top. You're always gonna put me in the bottom because I have 20, but 20 is phenomenal for where I'm at. So just because you showed up at my office and you said, Oh my God, your 20 is great. You never put me on a list on the weekly emails. You never call me out when we're on a conference call. You never put me up on stage to say, wow, look what I did. You know what I'm saying? I don't know. That's why work gets the whole I believe in competition to a point. I just think it's, I think we should, we could actually, I think Gary V is one who even talks about like you can have if you take the most toxic person, but they're the biggest producer, but they're toxic, you will lose all you have, all the other people that you need to get rid of that person. Yeah, he says he gets rid of them. You should not have somebody like that. And that can easily happen because their head gets big and they get like, oh my God, I'm so freaking amazed.

SPEAKER_00

I even saw something recently where it's like if you know that someone's like cheating on their spouse and like you work with somebody and you know they're cheating on their spouse or whatever the case may be. Yeah. Get rid of them. They're not loyal. Yep. They're not loyal and you don't want someone with those morals and values in your company. Yep. And I think it I think it was probably Gary Vee that was like, I don't care. I don't care how high you perform.

SPEAKER_01

I don't want someone with that because you make the whole company toxic and you actually bring other people down. And then there's people who are gonna say, well, screw that because I'm not gonna put up. I don't want to listen to that all the time. I'm tired of that negative person and it brings me down. And now they're not competition, they're just annoyance. And then you're jealous because they have numbers, but they're an asshole. So I think work competition just, I don't know, kind of frustrates me at times. I think that people would be better off to have positive environments have competition, but it should be in a in a fun way that everybody wants to banter together and have a good time, not well, look at this person, they're better, and that person has to like an ass. Yeah. And then you're like, well, fuck you, I don't care. And I'll go work somewhere else for somebody gives a shit. And there are companies that do give a shit and that do reward people for doing what they're doing and don't sit around and just single the same people out all the time.

Healthy Rivalry Versus Morals And Culture

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. And when you're when you're looking at yourself and you're comparing yourself, like the most unfair competition is racing someone who isn't running the same race or the circumstances aren't the same. Like you've got to, you can't just look at one number or one situation. You've got to look at the circumstances leading up to it. You know, they say you can't compare apples and oranges, which is very, very, very true. And that's where companies do, you know, create toxic environments because they dump everybody in the same into the same pit and think that that's normal. And then you have a lot of people that go home in great frustration. So, how do we use competition, I guess, the right way? You know, where competition isn't the enemy, misalignment is maybe. The only fair competition is who you were a year ago or yesterday.

SPEAKER_01

A month ago or last month. You always hear that shit all the time. Well, that was what you brought to the table last month. Now we're in the first of this month. What are you doing today? I think you're allowed to want more though, without, you know, tearing yourself down or anything.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, and just I think the biggest competition needs to be with ourselves, honestly. I do.

Kids, School Pits, And Broadening Circles

SPEAKER_01

And I think that if we would we focus on that more and stop taking away the noise of the other people, I think that then in general, and that's true work and social. True when you're even a kid. I think that it's, you know, even for kids, especially when we talk about competition, I feel like there's a lot of noise for kids. I mean, really, I think about, you know, you go to school and here's your people. This is your people, whether it's, you know, 500 or it's 3,000. This is your people, and this is what you're up against. And you kind of like get put in this like pit of those people, and you don't always see outside of that. Like, I'm really like, honestly, that's one thing I'm really glad. My daughter all the time is like finds friends in all sorts of schools. She doesn't worry about the ones that she just sits and goes to school with every day. She's worried, she really wants to meet like all these people from all these different schools. So I have kids that come to my house from all sorts of schools. How does she meet them? She'll go to anything. I don't know. It's so funny because like with her anxiety, sometimes she makes me chuckle because she'll be like, she's grown so much. She has come out of her shell that so much. Um, she'll talk to anybody anywhere. Like anybody anywhere. So she's gone to like um, there's some outdoor volleyball, something that kids will go to sometimes in the uh later evenings and stuff like that. And she'll go there and she'll meet like all sorts of kids from all sorts of different schools, and then she'll be like, Oh yeah, this person was cool. Or she went to a concert and with a few friends, and then this other guy had several his friends, they all went together. So now she and then his friends don't go to the same school either. So it's like they brought different kids from different schools. It just starts like it's the things she picks, and she gets other people that have friends with other kids. And I don't know, she just like knows a lot of kids at other all sorts of other schools. She'll be like, Oh yeah, I go hang out with this kid, this kid tells me about that. I mean, she knows way more stuff about other people because she's outside of her box of her school. And I felt like the boys were more in their box of the school. Not to say they never even ever didn't be around people of other schools, but just not near it, nothing like her, nothing like her at all. They were really more in the pit of the competition of the people that you're sitting there with. And sometimes like that can make it too harder for them. I think when you are in that group, I think that's what makes it harder for them to one, block out the noise, and two, to maybe find the people that you feel are like growing past what that group is. Even though I know that those those kids in that school are broken out in their own groups, but I'm just saying, like you sometimes get sheltered. You know, your competition's not as uh I don't know, diverse in a way. For sure.

SPEAKER_00

I guess how do we teach them like I don't know, you've said it with Austin before, like when I think it's Austin thinks he's the best in the room, it's like, well, that room. Casey.

SPEAKER_01

Come on now. You just said who thinks he's the best in the room. That's my that's my case.

SPEAKER_00

It's just it's it's you want competition to drive them to be better. Yes. But then also it's not always always about competition. And then I feel like you can get into the, you know, the um conversation about gentle parenting where everyone wins and like there's nowhere participation and everybody just participated and everything's great.

SPEAKER_01

And then your trophy is stupid and small and it's doesn't work, it's not worth anything for anybody, anyways.

Not Everything Is A Contest

SPEAKER_00

Which is so funny because I I think that that can almost breed carelessness almost. And I say that because, you know, why at first school? They do a where all the kids get$50, where they can take this$50 and they are supposed to come up with a project to make a profit that goes to Thrive, which Thrive is a non-for-profit, local non-for-profit around us. And so again, they each get$50, and kids are super duper creative. Like one girl took her$50 and bought like greenery and then made Christmas wreaths and then like what you can sell. And um, Wyatt is participating in a kid demolition derby. And so he's making t-shirts and sweatshirts, and the proceeds go to this Thrive project. Someone's making vanilla, like homemade vanilla and selling them. And so I was like, so-and-so did this, and they've got, you know, this person's making vanilla, and they had so many different orders. And um how much you're gonna make per t-shirt and sweatshirt? Like, is this the right meth? And he's like, Mom, it's not a competition. They're just proud of you for trying. Yes, because not everything is a competition. And so that's where the competitor in me comes out. I'm like, what do you mean it's not a competition? Everything's a competition. Like, who makes the most for Thrive? Like, isn't that like that's where I just have that competitive side of me?

SPEAKER_01

Like, you are definitely way more competitive than I am.

SPEAKER_00

Oh fuck, yeah. It drives me to be number, like it will, and it did. It drive, it drove me to be better. But I'd kill myself trying to see.

Competing With Yourself, Not Others

SPEAKER_01

I'm more I compete against myself. So when I looked at anything, I always looked at it as um, I still do this day. I look at what it is, where I was at, what do I need to be, where do I think I can really get to, and that's what I need to focus on when I hit it. I get so excited. And honestly, it came from younger years when I had um some really good area vice presidents that would work with me and we would talk about stuff and they would, we would have good banter and I'd get along with them so well that they were more of like, um, they would tell me stuff I couldn't do. I'm good if you tell me you can't do that. Well, then I'm gonna figure out how I'm gonna do it. You know what I mean? Like that, I'm more of that because that's against me. I wasn't, I'm not as good if you want to say, well, now you're up against this person and that person. I also, if I look at a list of people, I always um I would look at, okay, who's just right above me? Just right above me. I need to beat them. So I never went to like, well, who's the top of the list? Okay, well, you're not gonna get there tomorrow. That that's just gonna frustrate people. You're never gonna get there, Gina.

SPEAKER_00

You're never gonna catch me. So I but I went to the litter box. I was so good. I was, I was, and then people would it it, I guess it built what it was fucking smart on their part because then I had people making it their life mission to beat me, and I would not be beat.

SPEAKER_01

Like the person comes to mind like his name was Joey, and he was see, but that's okay. But see, like just like that, you would sit around and do that's what would drive you to always say, uh uh, I'm gonna always be, I don't care if I just want up where they at, I gotta be. Yeah. And see, that doesn't do anything for me. For me, I would look at as what you had compared to what I had was I'm not gonna get to the numbers that you had. That just wasn't gonna happen. The only thing I could beat you on was gonna be how I was gonna go about shit.

SPEAKER_00

Fucking sneak a little bitch.

SPEAKER_01

So that's how I would, that's how I would go after you. Cause I knew I'm not gonna get your, I'm not gonna get the numbers that you have. I didn't even have the staff to even think about doing those things. It was never gonna happen. We also weren't based, it was just different. I knew that, but so it didn't drive me to be like, I'm gonna compete against Kylie and I'm gonna take her down. Like that just would have done frustrated me every day. And then I would have gotten in a bit.

Craving Rivalry And Finding Fun Competition

SPEAKER_00

No, but that's I feel like that could be a missing piece right now for me. Is that to what your brain? I'm missing that competition. I'm missing I I thrive in that competition. So I need to figure out how to we need to figure out how to do that in this business, this business that we are growing for ourselves, not some fucking greedy corporation, yeah, but for ourselves. So we need to find a podcast that's probably new that has some similar right.

SPEAKER_01

That wants to do some fun things that bring great things to everybody.

SPEAKER_00

That dad podcast we were talking about. We need to find a dad podcast that just started that we can freaking compete. Right. And it would check that box for me because I that would be good.

Joy At Work And Walking Away From Toxicity

SPEAKER_01

Freaking love competition. That would be good. Then see now for me, that's the whole thing. This is where like we're so different. For me, I just look at this, oh my God, you know how much fun that would be? It would be so much fun. Like how the banter, the stuff we could come up with, how we could, you know, back and forth talk about stuff off of each other, but then like have a good time. I am not going to a job every day that I don't like. That's exactly why you'll see me leave a job. I am I did it for 15 years, I'm not doing it again. If I'm not happy, I'm I'm gonna walk. Because at the end of the day, I have to enjoy what I'm doing every day because jobs do take up a lot of our time and energy, and you're not sucking the life out of me. And when you start doing that, I will be done and I will leave when I find what's going to be better, as I had done. But like, so for me, it's so different. It's so funny because I think in some ways, oh, that's what makes us in this environment of any sort of like we were working as a team together on something rather than before we were competitors, is that you are driven by one thing, I'm driven by another, but the two things together make it dynamite dynamite, which is awesome. You know what I mean? It's kind of cool. But that's that's why I just feel like competition can like sneak in so many ways and be bad. So you just gotta always be careful.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, I also bought a tennis racket.

SPEAKER_01

Oh Lord, you were not playing no dang tennis.

SPEAKER_00

That's what I've heard. Dang tennis. It was on sale at Ross, but I've heard that hard that is that I need to take up pickleball. That pickleball have my dad come teach you.

SPEAKER_01

Yes, loves it. He would love to teach anybody that would want to know.

SPEAKER_00

I've heard pickleball would be much more up my alley than that's still hard too. Oh, I'm sure it's hard, but I love competition. I want to bring you and win.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, you would love it.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, see, that's where I'm not. It's kind of funny because I mean, I've always been so sales-minded. And it's like, I think though, that like I always have a like I said, my competition though has always been with myself. So I probably wouldn't sound good if someone says, Well, now let's see. We need to take a look at these numbers and compete against these people. I'd be like, Yeah, whatever. I mean, I'll tell you that, oh yeah, sure. But it's I compete against myself. So where's my numbers been? Where do I need to get to? Let me just work on that. There you go. I don't need to work on everything else about everybody. I don't need to worry about everybody else. Which is why probably when it came to different sports, I like stuff that's more again against myself. Like, you know, there's kids who go out there and on the soccer field and they'll be like, Oh, I'll go take that ball from anybody, boom, it's gone.

SPEAKER_00

And then they're a sport do you play against yourself?

SPEAKER_01

Well, but I mean, like, you know, just like if somebody swims, really, yes, you're against people, but you're really trying to always beat your best number, truly. Running. You keep beating your best number because the goal is eventually you're gonna beat everybody, but the reality is you have to beat yourself. So you're like a tracker. You're not like going at somebody like I'm gonna run into you, like an MMA fights you're perfect.

SPEAKER_00

You're track and field, yes, or cross country, and I'm fucking football. Right. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01

But am I asking me running nowhere?

SPEAKER_00

I could not do the job. Just saying. I think it just competition, you you know, you gotta find what motivates you, how to be motivated and how to keep keep the noise down.

Find Your Why Without The Buzzwords

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, you gotta keep the noise down because I think that's the biggest problem. I think that's but it's a huge problem. If we don't know how to do that ourselves, how do we teach our kids? And I think that that's and then you have to remember their competition is in their school every single day. These are the only kids they know. How do you break them out from some of that? How do you get them out to meet other people? How do you empower them past that?

SPEAKER_00

I'm gonna, I'm gonna really throw you here. Oh Lord. You gotta find your why. Jesus, don't ask me that question.

SPEAKER_01

Gina, what's your why? Why? Here, you know what that's funny though? I go to work every day for paycheck, and because I do care about people. And what I do, I do care about. I care to do a good job for people. I I I'm I'm motivated, I'm a worker and I want to do well and I want people to feel confident in me and that kind of thing, but I don't have a why. Like I just have all this, like, especially in the job I have now, I would tell you have a bigger why than I did before for sure. For sure. Before I literally went to work to get paid so I can put food on the table for my family. Now, my why here though, I feel like I have I can actually like answer a question, I'll be mad about it. I used to be really mad and irritated when people would ask us that all the time. Dear God, quit asking me my why. I show up because I have to, not because I want to. Here, I show up because I want to, because I really hope that this helps people. I hope that we bring some fun, laughter, you know, turn some, turn some minds to think a little differently. Find a group of people that I would enjoy and not have to think that they're a tree.

SPEAKER_00

I've said this before. I've said this before. One of the um I'll never forget when somebody left our toxic job and they posted on Facebook. And I think I've talked about it even on the podcast before. But it um it said, you're not a tree, move. I was like, God damn, she's right. Like, you're not a tree and I'm not happy, and I should move and do something different if you're not happy.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. That's why I gotta say it when that when they would always ask us about our why. I just it just would seriously like I there was health insurance. They did have good health insurance. That is about it.

SPEAKER_00

But I I just think that's the thing though, is like you actually had a why though. I I did, I did because I would be standing somewhere and somebody would be like, I've called 19 times and I need my oxygen and I don't have any. Nobody will answer the phone.

You’re Not A Tree, Move

SPEAKER_01

But but okay, but I think that's the thing. I always have a why as far as helping people. Like I loved helping the patients. I loved helping referral sources, I loved making people just like I still do today. Like source. I love to be a resource. I love that when you, if you think about who do you, who do I call that's gonna help me with that? My name is who you think of because I will do whatever to help somebody to make their life easier, whether it's a patient, whether it's a referral, whether it's a friend, whatever. So if you call me, I want to be your person. Um and I love that. I mean, it's totally what drives me to do well at my job. That's your why. But that was not my why during the years that I was there. My why there was because I don't want to be here, but I have to. That is why. Because it was toxic and miserable and all of the things. There was too many things. It just wore on me. But that's when I, you know, it's time to go.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

I know. I just had a couple sessions. Just like you said, don't be a tree. Move. Don't be a tree. That I that's what I need to tell everybody.

SPEAKER_00

Don't be a tree. I had someone just this week reach out, um, actually from the same company, but um in California. And so I did get the pleasure of a lot of travel when I was with that company. And um California and Vegas to Orlando, and like that, that I would say was one of my favorite parts is that I got to go. Oh my god, one time I got to go to this place in Colorado. I we flew into Grand Junction, Colorado, and then we went another like hour and there were goats on mountain, like it was just the coolest. And so I will never, ever, ever like forget like those were some of the the best days, and I I was able to network and meet a lot of people. Yeah. Um, and this person reached out. I think she said she left back in October, maybe. I don't know. I don't know, but she's like, I almost feel like we were brainwashed to stay.

SPEAKER_01

Well, I think that you it was made to make you feel like you couldn't do better. So like the company I was at the so the company I was at before that company got bought out. I absolutely loved every single thing about going to work. I love the people I worked with, I love the people that I took care of, I loved my job. But they also never talked to you in the manner that the other company did. And that's what changed me completely into where I was like, I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Even though I know I'm helping patients and doing things, all the things I love to do that drive me, but like not for that. Like, that's just not. And I do think it I a lot of times would feel like, I mean, I mean, maybe, maybe life, I'd be like starting over and down at the bottom somewhere, and it would just not be good. But if you're not making a million dollars, they're leave.

Leaving Toxic Jobs And Never Looking Back

SPEAKER_00

Right. That was mine. And I know, I know that this was this person's driving fact too. Like, we made really good money. Yeah, we made really good money, not because our base salaries were great, our base salaries were shit, but because we performed and we outperformed everyone else. And so we made really good money to where they Yeah, they gave a lot of incentives. Right. If you did that. Yeah. And then they even felt like they were almost pushed out for like doing too well. It's like they want you to do well enough, but never like it was it was so messed up. And I don't even like talking about it, but just when we talk about competition, like that was such a big, a big piece of it. Um, but yeah, you're never stuck, you're not a tree. You don't like it. Like, don't be a tree. Don't be a tree. I don't like trees. Gina won't talk to you.

SPEAKER_01

She will ignore you. I will say you are a tree. You are a tree. Here's you know what? The one thing is too, is I think is that like uh in saying what I say about making people a tree. Um I know there's plenty of people who probably think of me as a tree, and it's okay. Why do you say that? I think there's plenty of people don't like me. I don't care. Oh, they don't like you. Yeah, like there's people that don't like me, but again, I probably don't like you. Why don't you like me?

SPEAKER_00

There can be healthy competition.

SPEAKER_01

There can be, and I think that if people and even any company puts it out there to be a healthy competition, you would probably see numbers bigger than you ever saw. Because healthy competition is good for people and it can be fun.

SPEAKER_00

It can be, but it can also be very toxic where people do stupid shit. And I will, that is a hill I would die on. I never, I never once did anything not morally correct. I always took care of the patient. Now what would I possibly have broken a company rule to take care of the patient? Possibly, but I never did anything that I didn't feel was right. I never manipulated a situation, I never chased ambulances, I never put somebody on a piece of equipment that shouldn't be, that shouldn't be or that they didn't need. I never ever, you know, did anything illegal or that I shouldn't. And I think that competition can also drive people. And when like you're desperate shit beat out of you, you get desperate. And I've always you do stupid shit. And I never, ever, ever, ever did that.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I think that's true. Whether you're sales or operations, anybody who's becoming desperate, anybody who's their boss should pay attention. Desperate people do desperate things. And if you're in those positions, like if you're starting to feel that's not other places are not toxic. No, and the thing about it is it's not worth never if you are feeling desperate, it's it's it should be your moment that you know it's probably time to make a change.

SPEAKER_00

You know, for the longest time, people would be like, Well, it's like this everywhere.

SPEAKER_01

Do you know how many years I heard that? Do you know I heard that a lot? And then all of a sudden there'd be different people leaving, and I started hearing, you know how much happier these people are? Did you know this person left? I was so happy. Did you know that person left? I'm like, really? All these people are happy. Are you sure they're happier? Yeah. Oh, okay.

Desperation Breeds Bad Decisions

SPEAKER_00

That's I did. One of one of the people that I spoke to um literally said, there is not one person that's ever left this company that's ever looked back or regretted it. And I'm like, damn. Like that stuck with me. And it meant it meant a lot. But for so long, it was well, there's drama everywhere.

SPEAKER_01

There's oh, there is always some sort of drama. I don't care where you go. But I think at the same time, the the gist of the the basis of where you go. Even sometimes I think you might leave a company that you don't like or or something that you don't like and you go on to somewhere else. It may not even be the place you end up to stay. You could sometimes go somewhere and be like, I mean, it's better, but it's not still not your place. But sometimes it leads you to where you needed to go. For sure. So sometimes steps are just steps to take for that. But um But you're not a tree. So you can make those steps.

SPEAKER_02

I know I'm not I know I'm not a tree.

SPEAKER_00

Am I a tree? No, I'm not a tree. I am growing, I am rebuilding. I am not a fucking tree. Right.

SPEAKER_01

We're not trees. I'm the I think that's the moral of the story on this one. We are not trees. And if you think I'm a tree, stop listening. No, don't stop listening. Even if you're keep listening, I'm a tree. Keep listening to find out why she doesn't like you. Right.

SPEAKER_00

You can send that in. Let us know. Competition, trees.

SPEAKER_01

This one really went wrong, I feel like. I think so too. But you know what? Competition is draining. And, you know, we have to make sure that we don't drain ourselves and but we also make sure we're a little bit uncomfortable. It's 2026. Let's get uncomfortable.

Steps Lead To Better Places

SPEAKER_00

Right? Right. Where is competition draining you right now? And where could it actually motivate you? Let us know. Confess, you're not alone. You're definitely not alone. Thanks for joining us today. Thanks for spending time with us. Take what you need, leave what you don't, and be gentle with yourself. And if you want to stay connected, follow us on Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok at the ARMC. And remember, you're not broken, you're becoming. We'll see you next time.